yeah... me gonna watch movie finally again!!! waiting for my fren to pick me now.. so spending the few 'unconstructive' minutes blogging... boring? yeah i noe.. who cares...
did my 3 class for canoeing. G cldn't make it. Anywayz, i tink that gal will be bored lah. *chuckles* it was okiez today. the weather was kinder to us... i sillily volunteered to do capsize for the H-rescue... in the end, ended up stuck in the water for very long.. because we kept drifting towards oasis while they were trying to fix up my canoe... so i had to swim here and there.. all the time.. by the time they were ready for me to mount the canoe in water, i was exhasuted. almost unable to climb up!! perhaps this time round we were not learning 'new' skills, i did tink abt work sometimes during the course, unlike the first two sessions where i was so occupied work was out of my mind...
yesterday was a killer day at work... all the way to six-ish... still getting a little blue occasionally.. but at the end of the day, i just need to learn to give thanks and trust in the Lord... *smile*.. trying trying... :)
in any case, it was good to see some of my nie music frens yest during the music sharing session in the morn. i was feeling a little tired.. exhasuted.. demoralized in the morn. but seeing their faces made me smile again... i was 'rejuvenated' a little. seeing the music curriculum and facilities in the holding sch for the session inspired me a little. but thereafter when i returned to sch, i was reminded of the practicalities.. seeing the 'hall' we have for music... and looking at my table.. the english workload and all... sighz.... but den again, its good to see my nie frens. :) they sortof 'sympathized' me.. but yet, they were encouraging... :) nice to see pple out of school!! lol oh of course, i did my infamous 'booboo' trick again.. I WENT TO THE WRONG SCHOOL FOR THE SHARING SESSION!!! was oredi like 20 mins late when i arrived at pasir ris sec cos i lost my way. reaching there, i went to the general office to ask where the session was held.. they were like...'there's no session'.. oops.. called my fren and realize it was held in pasir ris CRES sec.. sighz... but its okiez.. things like this remind me that i'm me... :) unique and booboo... lol later afternn brought my gals for their prac ... i was EXHAUSTED... it was nice that at least my gals like to talk to me.. the only thing is that.. i'm so exhasuted... i feel like i'm of limited encouragement when they did not too well at a portion.... sighz.... i need duracell man....
hmm... my fren is late!!! argh!! but i'm not complaining.. at least got car.. lol....
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Term 3 Week 3
Started off this week with a fair bit of energy. Now? Almost completely drained... Had been 'out' almost all the evenings, so that's pretty good. It makes me feel 'satisfied' to have a 'life'. But I do not know how long I can sustain this, given that, I have just broken my rule not to bring marking home to do.
Mon - met up with old college fren for dessert downstairs my place. i was too lazy to go further than that. *chuckles*
Tues - met up with Sandly n Jacki at Jacki's shop. Sandfly was supposed to pay up and go for dinner. We ended up hanging ard a bit.. and at the end of it all, got dragged to some silly karaoke thing. Bleah. We were the two 'early birds' who were pretty concussed by ten and had to leave by eleven.
Wed - met up w Dawn, TC and June to discuss Dawn n TC's wedding. ended up talking quite a bit abt diving, the kind of company those pple are, and trying to convince TC to try diving for Dawn's sake. Den went for worship practise because I haven't touched my flute for months!! Realised.. I am back to square one!! No more breathe control, my embochure gone.. *sighz* Was thoroughly exhausted halfway thro the practise. Even questioned why I even decided to crash the practise. Also made me question how able I am to survive future practises, esp when I'm on keyboard.
Thurs - It was supposedly a night of rest. Ended up doing my work review. Cos if not, work elsewhere would be piling up. Did 4.5km run. Great because since my hand surgery in Apr, I haven't gone beyond 3km. So it was an achievement.
Fri - Supposed to send sandfly off for her trip to Dayang. But later figured out its pretty silly so decided to rest at home. Aggie called me out last minute, so we ended up at Blue Note. Pretty decent place. Less 'showy' than Harry's. Band play was pretty interesting, pity I was seated too far away from the band, and that I was kindof too tired to really care. And finally after a break from blogging, I just realize blogger has come up with more user-frenly interface that requires less knowledge of html script!! Well, like I can be bothered. lol
Its gonna be busy busy busy... I'm thoroughly exhausted. Sometimes I feel that the 'caring staff culture' is putting on pressure on me. There will be expectations that I also go along with the 'we are one big family' mentality. Which is not bad, except, sometimes this expectation just makes one feel additional pressure? Teaching English and being assigned a uniform group (a very on one!!) is also making me blue sometimes. I know I'm supposed to take them up with joy... try..... ing..... Is teaching really for me? Or at least, is teaching in the MOE system really for me? lol... watever....
Mon - met up with old college fren for dessert downstairs my place. i was too lazy to go further than that. *chuckles*
Tues - met up with Sandly n Jacki at Jacki's shop. Sandfly was supposed to pay up and go for dinner. We ended up hanging ard a bit.. and at the end of it all, got dragged to some silly karaoke thing. Bleah. We were the two 'early birds' who were pretty concussed by ten and had to leave by eleven.
Wed - met up w Dawn, TC and June to discuss Dawn n TC's wedding. ended up talking quite a bit abt diving, the kind of company those pple are, and trying to convince TC to try diving for Dawn's sake. Den went for worship practise because I haven't touched my flute for months!! Realised.. I am back to square one!! No more breathe control, my embochure gone.. *sighz* Was thoroughly exhausted halfway thro the practise. Even questioned why I even decided to crash the practise. Also made me question how able I am to survive future practises, esp when I'm on keyboard.
Thurs - It was supposedly a night of rest. Ended up doing my work review. Cos if not, work elsewhere would be piling up. Did 4.5km run. Great because since my hand surgery in Apr, I haven't gone beyond 3km. So it was an achievement.
Fri - Supposed to send sandfly off for her trip to Dayang. But later figured out its pretty silly so decided to rest at home. Aggie called me out last minute, so we ended up at Blue Note. Pretty decent place. Less 'showy' than Harry's. Band play was pretty interesting, pity I was seated too far away from the band, and that I was kindof too tired to really care. And finally after a break from blogging, I just realize blogger has come up with more user-frenly interface that requires less knowledge of html script!! Well, like I can be bothered. lol
Its gonna be busy busy busy... I'm thoroughly exhausted. Sometimes I feel that the 'caring staff culture' is putting on pressure on me. There will be expectations that I also go along with the 'we are one big family' mentality. Which is not bad, except, sometimes this expectation just makes one feel additional pressure? Teaching English and being assigned a uniform group (a very on one!!) is also making me blue sometimes. I know I'm supposed to take them up with joy... try..... ing..... Is teaching really for me? Or at least, is teaching in the MOE system really for me? lol... watever....
Monday, July 12, 2004
the long and short of it all....
1. today was not a bad day... not eventful.. more like peaceful... maybe cos i din teach english today. lol. tink also partly cos i've kindof made some kindof of arrangements (to stay in sch til 6 to do marking, no marking at home!! only prep etc.. but NO MARKING!)
2. cookie passed on yest. feeling sad? not really. sadly, too occupied to feel sad. wat in this world is happening to pple and emotions? no wonder pple getting less feeling each day w all the pressures mounting.
3. canoeing yesterday was fun. capsize drill (ha, i was the first to do it and reach the shore.. get to watch everyone struggle back.. mua ha ha)
4. tanned and fattened.
5. starting on the book on joshua. since my gb gals are doing it for the bible quiz, i might as well just work on that book. hope to read a chpt a day. ambitious? lol... i'll try.
6. its been nice meeting pple... just tt i cldn't be bothered w updating...
met sandfly on fri for dinner, G on sat for lunch (yeah.. she 'took me out for an excursion' in between my work in school for GB in the morning, and music competition prac in late afternoon), canoeing course on sun,...
okiez. i'm bored.
2. cookie passed on yest. feeling sad? not really. sadly, too occupied to feel sad. wat in this world is happening to pple and emotions? no wonder pple getting less feeling each day w all the pressures mounting.
3. canoeing yesterday was fun. capsize drill (ha, i was the first to do it and reach the shore.. get to watch everyone struggle back.. mua ha ha)
4. tanned and fattened.
5. starting on the book on joshua. since my gb gals are doing it for the bible quiz, i might as well just work on that book. hope to read a chpt a day. ambitious? lol... i'll try.
6. its been nice meeting pple... just tt i cldn't be bothered w updating...
met sandfly on fri for dinner, G on sat for lunch (yeah.. she 'took me out for an excursion' in between my work in school for GB in the morning, and music competition prac in late afternoon), canoeing course on sun,...
okiez. i'm bored.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
NEIL ANDERSON'S DAILY IN CHRIST
from Freedom in Christ Ministries
July 10
SECURITY IN ETERNITY
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my
rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my
salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2).
The key to experiencing security in your life is to depend on
things that are eternal, not temporal. Christians often feel
insecure because they are depending on temporal things they have
no right or ability to control. For example, some people rely on
their money for material security instead of relying on God's
promise to supply all our needs. The safest place to keep money a
few years ago was a savings and loan institution. But many have
failed and the security people had placed in them was shattered.
Only eternal investments are secure.
I believe God is shaking the foundations of the world. Natural
disasters are on the increase, kingdoms are being toppled,
political boundaries are being redrawn, and anarchy reigns in
many poor countries. Scripture warns us that such conditions
would precede the second coming of Christ (Matthew 24). This
shouldn't alarm us; we should be excited. Christ's return will be
the day of the church for those who have stored up treasures in
heaven (Matthew 6:19-21).
Security only comes from relating to that which is anchored in
eternity. Jesus said that we have eternal life and that no one
can snatch us out of His hand (John 10:27-29). Paul declared that
nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ (Romans
8:35-39) and that we are sealed in Him by the Holy Spirit
(Ephesians 1:13, 14). How much more secure can you get than that?
When your ultimate trust is in temporal values and relationships,
you are always subject to insecurity because these things are
subject to failure and can be lost. The greatest sense of
security you can experience is the byproduct of taking a firm
grip on values and relationships which will endure as long as God
Himself.
Lord, my Rock, thank You for the peace and security that comes
from trusting in You instead of temporal values.
from Freedom in Christ Ministries
July 10
SECURITY IN ETERNITY
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my
rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my
salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2).
The key to experiencing security in your life is to depend on
things that are eternal, not temporal. Christians often feel
insecure because they are depending on temporal things they have
no right or ability to control. For example, some people rely on
their money for material security instead of relying on God's
promise to supply all our needs. The safest place to keep money a
few years ago was a savings and loan institution. But many have
failed and the security people had placed in them was shattered.
Only eternal investments are secure.
I believe God is shaking the foundations of the world. Natural
disasters are on the increase, kingdoms are being toppled,
political boundaries are being redrawn, and anarchy reigns in
many poor countries. Scripture warns us that such conditions
would precede the second coming of Christ (Matthew 24). This
shouldn't alarm us; we should be excited. Christ's return will be
the day of the church for those who have stored up treasures in
heaven (Matthew 6:19-21).
Security only comes from relating to that which is anchored in
eternity. Jesus said that we have eternal life and that no one
can snatch us out of His hand (John 10:27-29). Paul declared that
nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ (Romans
8:35-39) and that we are sealed in Him by the Holy Spirit
(Ephesians 1:13, 14). How much more secure can you get than that?
When your ultimate trust is in temporal values and relationships,
you are always subject to insecurity because these things are
subject to failure and can be lost. The greatest sense of
security you can experience is the byproduct of taking a firm
grip on values and relationships which will endure as long as God
Himself.
Lord, my Rock, thank You for the peace and security that comes
from trusting in You instead of temporal values.
My time on earth... ... ...
It does not belong to me. Its a privilege given to me to use it according to His purpose... ...
Thursday, July 08, 2004
English..... teacher.....
yes... unfortunately (at least based on my current myopic view, oh watever), i am an English teacher. not just this year... but "as long as you are teaching in PL, you will be an English teacher", so my supervisor who happens to be the english HOD said...
when i heard that... my heart... sank.... it really did... i was to the point of tears.. but i noe i cldn't let them out. HC was telling me i cld request to the HOD at the end of the year not to take English... but no, i dun even have to wait til then, she 'as-a-matter-of-factly' revealed to me during my briefing that.. tt's my... 'fate'... ALTHO!! one strange thing happened the moment I walked out from the brief meeting with her. the thot came to me that 'i can do it. i must take things easy... circumstances will rise, but i must ride over it.... in this case.... i must be professional....' and of course at the end of the thot was 'just three years, and i'll be out of PL. dun blame me'. lol
i cld hv continued to dwell in the pits... brood over it... blame the P and VP who interviewed me earlier who did not sound me out on this (cos if they did, no way am i coming in!! serious!)... but does it matter? will it help? it had been my resolution recently to take things easy... and I'm thankful to God that He has carried me out of this emotional pit (for today at least!! lol)
of course, it helps to think on the brighter side of things. firstly, english is such a marketable subject. whoever wans music or geog tuition.. now? ha... i can earn bucks man!! lol... jokes aside (becos i've stopped taking tuition, cos i tink i need time to spend money and not just earn).. i realize tt this might open doors for me shld i wanna teach overseas in the future. at least, i have the qualification as being an experienced english teacher? i dunno... just.. tinking 'brighter'....
alright. enough about school. there are many things to say... but tt's not all to my life.. *chuckles* but den leh.. now i'm a geography, english and music teacher... speaking of which... i need to go prac my harmonica oredi. yeah.. cos me teaching harmonica.. and i dunno how to play.. mua ha ha ha...
when i heard that... my heart... sank.... it really did... i was to the point of tears.. but i noe i cldn't let them out. HC was telling me i cld request to the HOD at the end of the year not to take English... but no, i dun even have to wait til then, she 'as-a-matter-of-factly' revealed to me during my briefing that.. tt's my... 'fate'... ALTHO!! one strange thing happened the moment I walked out from the brief meeting with her. the thot came to me that 'i can do it. i must take things easy... circumstances will rise, but i must ride over it.... in this case.... i must be professional....' and of course at the end of the thot was 'just three years, and i'll be out of PL. dun blame me'. lol
i cld hv continued to dwell in the pits... brood over it... blame the P and VP who interviewed me earlier who did not sound me out on this (cos if they did, no way am i coming in!! serious!)... but does it matter? will it help? it had been my resolution recently to take things easy... and I'm thankful to God that He has carried me out of this emotional pit (for today at least!! lol)
of course, it helps to think on the brighter side of things. firstly, english is such a marketable subject. whoever wans music or geog tuition.. now? ha... i can earn bucks man!! lol... jokes aside (becos i've stopped taking tuition, cos i tink i need time to spend money and not just earn).. i realize tt this might open doors for me shld i wanna teach overseas in the future. at least, i have the qualification as being an experienced english teacher? i dunno... just.. tinking 'brighter'....
alright. enough about school. there are many things to say... but tt's not all to my life.. *chuckles* but den leh.. now i'm a geography, english and music teacher... speaking of which... i need to go prac my harmonica oredi. yeah.. cos me teaching harmonica.. and i dunno how to play.. mua ha ha ha...
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Daddy's Love Laws....
1. "I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3
2. "Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old
enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered
your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant
with you, decalres the Sovereign Lord, and you became Mine."
Ezekiel 15:5
3. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into
our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
Romans 5:5
4. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were sinners,
Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
5. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, netierh height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from
the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
6. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
7. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be
called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3
2. "Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old
enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered
your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant
with you, decalres the Sovereign Lord, and you became Mine."
Ezekiel 15:5
3. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into
our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
Romans 5:5
4. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were sinners,
Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
5. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, netierh height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from
the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39
6. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
7. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be
called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a
Murphy's love laws
All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
Sent by Van Den Bossche Jochen
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
Sent by Van Den Bossche Jochen
Monday, July 05, 2004
long long long long day...
i dun even noe y i'm posting this in the middle of the nite when i'm so dying to sleep....
went for my canoe course early this morn... thot i'll get majorly lost.. but strangely... its pretty easy to find. the only thing abt getting up this early is... i was still dreaming of a dive trip!!! getting changed and all.. when my HP sounded the alarm... @#*$(&* in any case.. canoeing.. well.. its okiez. at the beginning part when the instructor was giving instructions on how to oar to move in different directions.. i was like.. a little worried.. cos it sounded so technical!! yeah.. and anything technical makes me feel completely baffled.. but after getting on the water.. its really managable... minus... i got really toasted!!! its strange how i dun get so toasted in cambodia over 5 days, and how i din get even so tan when i spent hours on the upper deck suntanning during my dive trip.. but withihn the short 3 hours span, i got so dark!! drats.. the ugly tanlines formed by the life jacket.. *&(*&#$@ wasted all my hard work tanning in tioman.
asked G to come ove rmy place for a shower.. turns out... we talked to sandfly over msn while she's over.. so somehow.. we were all going out for dinner?!?!?! (to think that i intended to do some work today!!) so for dinner we went.. at the steamboat bbq place at marina south. ate a lot. sandfly was funny.. she will just take all the food we dumped back at her (when she dump at us) without any argument!! ha ha... now i've found the rite person to dump food on. lol.. bumped into someone i din really wanna see.. or someone i wasn't quite ready to see.. but it was alrite.. very managable.
J was asking for company to watch spiderman II. but i just watched it on fri.. so after consulting the papers borrowed from the steamboat place.. we realized there weren't really any good time slots.. so decided to give it a miss.. and go for tea at hotel rendevous coffee club instead (since we all need some camomile to help us sleep better). but there, it was like last order time. they were closing in 30 mins.. so decided to go mr beans which is 24-7. having sat down, we were informed tea will take longer to be served BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH POTS!! hence the debate of whether or not they were professional enough to do that.. G and sandfly said they shld say they needed time to brew the tea to be professional. me on the other hand, wld rather they tell the truth... no wonder i can't make it out in the coporate world? lol...hmm.. tt itself is another thing to ponder abt by itself. when im less braindead. J saw the Kbox sign just opp and wanted to go sing. so we cancelled the order for tea.. and accompanied him there.. i was just... stoning.. tired from the day's activity... mentally, physically.. and challenged emotionally... so tt was tt...
just came home. tink i shld sleep soon.. TOM MUST WORK!!! tt's it. zzz...
went for my canoe course early this morn... thot i'll get majorly lost.. but strangely... its pretty easy to find. the only thing abt getting up this early is... i was still dreaming of a dive trip!!! getting changed and all.. when my HP sounded the alarm... @#*$(&* in any case.. canoeing.. well.. its okiez. at the beginning part when the instructor was giving instructions on how to oar to move in different directions.. i was like.. a little worried.. cos it sounded so technical!! yeah.. and anything technical makes me feel completely baffled.. but after getting on the water.. its really managable... minus... i got really toasted!!! its strange how i dun get so toasted in cambodia over 5 days, and how i din get even so tan when i spent hours on the upper deck suntanning during my dive trip.. but withihn the short 3 hours span, i got so dark!! drats.. the ugly tanlines formed by the life jacket.. *&(*&#$@ wasted all my hard work tanning in tioman.
asked G to come ove rmy place for a shower.. turns out... we talked to sandfly over msn while she's over.. so somehow.. we were all going out for dinner?!?!?! (to think that i intended to do some work today!!) so for dinner we went.. at the steamboat bbq place at marina south. ate a lot. sandfly was funny.. she will just take all the food we dumped back at her (when she dump at us) without any argument!! ha ha... now i've found the rite person to dump food on. lol.. bumped into someone i din really wanna see.. or someone i wasn't quite ready to see.. but it was alrite.. very managable.
J was asking for company to watch spiderman II. but i just watched it on fri.. so after consulting the papers borrowed from the steamboat place.. we realized there weren't really any good time slots.. so decided to give it a miss.. and go for tea at hotel rendevous coffee club instead (since we all need some camomile to help us sleep better). but there, it was like last order time. they were closing in 30 mins.. so decided to go mr beans which is 24-7. having sat down, we were informed tea will take longer to be served BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH POTS!! hence the debate of whether or not they were professional enough to do that.. G and sandfly said they shld say they needed time to brew the tea to be professional. me on the other hand, wld rather they tell the truth... no wonder i can't make it out in the coporate world? lol...hmm.. tt itself is another thing to ponder abt by itself. when im less braindead. J saw the Kbox sign just opp and wanted to go sing. so we cancelled the order for tea.. and accompanied him there.. i was just... stoning.. tired from the day's activity... mentally, physically.. and challenged emotionally... so tt was tt...
just came home. tink i shld sleep soon.. TOM MUST WORK!!! tt's it. zzz...
Saturday, July 03, 2004
sometimes blue.... sometimes fulfilled..
i started the day in school in the morning feeling down... sianz... bleah.... the thot of the long day and many crazy periods.
as i stepped into the class.. slowly i regained my composture and interaction with students left me feeling a quiet sense of joy... but... VERY EXHAUSTING still..
this has been typical of how i've felt for the past few days... and i believe for at least the next one week to come.
i just met a fren for movie and supper tonite. just to chill out. this is a fren whom i look up to in a certain aspect. he is one who is very busy, but yet does not get uptight, and take things easy (as in.. the outlook in life). this is something i learnt in my diving trip too. to work hard and to play hard. sometimes it gets difficult esp when i get uptight easily abt things (just look at this week!!). but slowly, i hope to learn to 'take things easy' and not to 'kill' myself over work. the work will be there. actually i am fairly fortunate esp since i am very certain that the work is purposeful and that God has placed me in this position. sometimes.. i just get self-centered.. i just lose faith.. and hence the uptightness etc... my resolution for this rest of this year.. will be to learn to do my best in my work.. remembering that it is God that i shld please... and that when work pours in, i shld have faith, look to the cross rather than to myself....
yupz yupz... my resolution for the year. guess this is a trial i'm being put thro ey? *smilez* trying... trying....
as i stepped into the class.. slowly i regained my composture and interaction with students left me feeling a quiet sense of joy... but... VERY EXHAUSTING still..
this has been typical of how i've felt for the past few days... and i believe for at least the next one week to come.
i just met a fren for movie and supper tonite. just to chill out. this is a fren whom i look up to in a certain aspect. he is one who is very busy, but yet does not get uptight, and take things easy (as in.. the outlook in life). this is something i learnt in my diving trip too. to work hard and to play hard. sometimes it gets difficult esp when i get uptight easily abt things (just look at this week!!). but slowly, i hope to learn to 'take things easy' and not to 'kill' myself over work. the work will be there. actually i am fairly fortunate esp since i am very certain that the work is purposeful and that God has placed me in this position. sometimes.. i just get self-centered.. i just lose faith.. and hence the uptightness etc... my resolution for this rest of this year.. will be to learn to do my best in my work.. remembering that it is God that i shld please... and that when work pours in, i shld have faith, look to the cross rather than to myself....
yupz yupz... my resolution for the year. guess this is a trial i'm being put thro ey? *smilez* trying... trying....
Thursday, July 01, 2004
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:6-7
I still hate 'the act of' teaching English.... lol....
I still hate 'the act of' teaching English.... lol....
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
significant things happened...
i heard 'surprising' things from DR tis evening. 'surprising' for good for me in the long run. a little too busy to tink abt things... but i noe things are turning out rite in turn. :)
lost one side of my earring.
came up with 2 SOW for music. got more to do. just finished reading 2 classes' feedback on their impression of music and wat they are interested in.
english still sucks.. the extra classes, the setting of papers... etc etc.. when i'm clueless...
still putting on weight.. for no rhyme or reason?
tt has been my life in short. mua ha ha.
lost one side of my earring.
came up with 2 SOW for music. got more to do. just finished reading 2 classes' feedback on their impression of music and wat they are interested in.
english still sucks.. the extra classes, the setting of papers... etc etc.. when i'm clueless...
still putting on weight.. for no rhyme or reason?
tt has been my life in short. mua ha ha.
ups n downs again....
started off alright today. later heard something that reconfirmed that God had really put me in PL. classes were not bad. i actually feel inspired to tailor-make curriculum for each class (but tt'll be crazy). but....
the meeting at the end of the day... sianz again.. more stuff thrown at me last minute... english.. i hate teaching english... sighz... i pray and i pray that it'll be taken away from me next year... Lord, please dun put me on 'trial' and 'test' leh.... :-P
exhausted.... and a little down.. but very managable type of down...
the meeting at the end of the day... sianz again.. more stuff thrown at me last minute... english.. i hate teaching english... sighz... i pray and i pray that it'll be taken away from me next year... Lord, please dun put me on 'trial' and 'test' leh.... :-P
exhausted.... and a little down.. but very managable type of down...
Monday, June 28, 2004
i just cried a river.....
gonna keep this short, but tink i shld put this in:
its been an overwhelming day. many things on my mind... etc... things in school... i tried to keep focus.. tried to rem my purpose.. but cldn't see it.. i knew i'll need a cry tonite alone.. but i din noe i'll cry a river.
thanks for all the support from my frens.. sandfly, bong, js, G. actually somehow sometimes wat pple 'say' wldn't really 'help' alleviate the stuff completely. i needed christian fellowship. i needed someone to carry me through with God. when G called.. i cried til i cldn't breathe. when was the last time tt happened? 2 years ago, the jerk episode (or so G remembered). but it was all good.. to talk.. to cry.. and to pray. thanks sis. i needed that. christian fellowship carries with it an althogether different level of support, somehow. and i do miss that a bit. Oh, dun worry, if/when ur turn comes a couple of months later, i'll be by the fon gal. *smile* thanks.
I can only learn to rely more on my Daddy. sighz.. its back to work. but now not with the overwhelmed feeling i had. thanks Daddy. *smile*
its been an overwhelming day. many things on my mind... etc... things in school... i tried to keep focus.. tried to rem my purpose.. but cldn't see it.. i knew i'll need a cry tonite alone.. but i din noe i'll cry a river.
thanks for all the support from my frens.. sandfly, bong, js, G. actually somehow sometimes wat pple 'say' wldn't really 'help' alleviate the stuff completely. i needed christian fellowship. i needed someone to carry me through with God. when G called.. i cried til i cldn't breathe. when was the last time tt happened? 2 years ago, the jerk episode (or so G remembered). but it was all good.. to talk.. to cry.. and to pray. thanks sis. i needed that. christian fellowship carries with it an althogether different level of support, somehow. and i do miss that a bit. Oh, dun worry, if/when ur turn comes a couple of months later, i'll be by the fon gal. *smile* thanks.
I can only learn to rely more on my Daddy. sighz.. its back to work. but now not with the overwhelmed feeling i had. thanks Daddy. *smile*
Sunday, June 27, 2004
ups n downs....
went for my induction in PL early in the morning. surprisingly, it ended earlier than i expected. was a little excited about starting school... however, looking at my workload, i began to feel a little overwhelmed and apprehensive. it didn't help i got news that there will be NO FREE saturdays because i'm doing GB for CCA. not even ONE... meaning.. i can't go diving OCCASSIONALLY... tt ate into me for a while.. i have to pray... for love.. and for peace... still a little down when i tink of it now..
but thankfully i'm seated beside Hwee Choo, Stev's wife. She's one of my mentor. Dun really noe her that well.. but looks like.. things may change. its quite funny cos she was more than willing to loan me her notebook for lessons (cos she doesn't really use it?) its not supposed to go to stev's ears.. so E... please.. *chuckles*
came back home. tried to nap a bit.. but failed.. but rested a little. was a little too demoralized to start work.. met up w sandfly earlier before meeting randy and gang. we walked adn walked and walked.. from raffles city.. to suntec (the other end).. and back to raffles city.. shopping while waiting to meet randy et. al for dinner.. but that boy... he was SO LATE!!! i was so famished in the end i simply did not have strength to walk back to suntec from raffles city.. we decided that sandfly n i will hv dinner on our own at raffles city before meeting them for a drink later. felt much better after having our dinner at 9 plus!!! (*grumble grumble*) simply famished... Along the way.. i picked out ANOTHER bikini. lol.. this time round a white crochet one.. dunno if i'll get the chance to wear it. the thot that i can't go away during weekends.. makes me a little bleah again.. not knowing when i'll get to wear it!! but den.. no choice lah.. i really like it!! :-P
met up with randy and gang finally. feeling quite sianz abt work.. and well.. whoever... but its really managable. :) went up to the watever bar at mt faber again. this time round, i realized the price of the drinks are actually not cheap!! more exp than like harry's even!! and no live music!! gosh.. wat do pple pay for the view.. prob one of the last few times i'll go up there. nice to have you back randy!! miss u big bro.
in any case, i shld be sleeping now.. gotta be up early for church tom.. and den its back home to do last min touching up (actually not even the stage of touching up... lol) of work. feeling a little mixed up abt starting... expectant... but yet apprehensive.... hmmmm
but thankfully i'm seated beside Hwee Choo, Stev's wife. She's one of my mentor. Dun really noe her that well.. but looks like.. things may change. its quite funny cos she was more than willing to loan me her notebook for lessons (cos she doesn't really use it?) its not supposed to go to stev's ears.. so E... please.. *chuckles*
came back home. tried to nap a bit.. but failed.. but rested a little. was a little too demoralized to start work.. met up w sandfly earlier before meeting randy and gang. we walked adn walked and walked.. from raffles city.. to suntec (the other end).. and back to raffles city.. shopping while waiting to meet randy et. al for dinner.. but that boy... he was SO LATE!!! i was so famished in the end i simply did not have strength to walk back to suntec from raffles city.. we decided that sandfly n i will hv dinner on our own at raffles city before meeting them for a drink later. felt much better after having our dinner at 9 plus!!! (*grumble grumble*) simply famished... Along the way.. i picked out ANOTHER bikini. lol.. this time round a white crochet one.. dunno if i'll get the chance to wear it. the thot that i can't go away during weekends.. makes me a little bleah again.. not knowing when i'll get to wear it!! but den.. no choice lah.. i really like it!! :-P
met up with randy and gang finally. feeling quite sianz abt work.. and well.. whoever... but its really managable. :) went up to the watever bar at mt faber again. this time round, i realized the price of the drinks are actually not cheap!! more exp than like harry's even!! and no live music!! gosh.. wat do pple pay for the view.. prob one of the last few times i'll go up there. nice to have you back randy!! miss u big bro.
in any case, i shld be sleeping now.. gotta be up early for church tom.. and den its back home to do last min touching up (actually not even the stage of touching up... lol) of work. feeling a little mixed up abt starting... expectant... but yet apprehensive.... hmmmm
Friday, June 25, 2004
cab cab cab...
silly 62 took like 20 minutes.. still no bus in sight.. ended up cabbing to school. den in school... one gal not feeling well.. the other two gonna be late, so the mom says will fetch them straight to goldhill. another one? can't contact. another one? called me earlier in the morn to say she can't make it.. so why do i even go to school for? might as well just go straigth to gold hill... so silly.. so in the end... took cab alone to goldhill center...
prac was scheduled at 1pm. dunno wat happened.. ended up starting at 2pm. meaning.. ended late at 4 instead of 3. anywayz in the extra hour we had, i brought some gals out and got them mackies. supposed to go see M's daughter... but cos of the delay.. so cant. at the end of the prac, only 2 gals left cos one had to leave at 3. so funny those gals. gotta get them to relax and groove.. but they are not used to grooving.. so not too natural w the performance yet.. but alas we have THREE more gals to 'fix'.. and we are so running out of time.. the gals are so busy i seriously duno how to arrange for more practises.
went for a long overdue hair cut. came back for a run. supposed to meet up w my jc pals.. but too tired.. further have to finish up my worksheets.. still clueless abt wat to teach for music... hmm...
so far so good.. pretty kept in task. tom is an entire day of induction. den meeting Randy n grp for dinner and maybe a drink.. end of spending seasion. lol...
slowly getting the hang of things... pretty enjoyed the company w the PL gals. they are a mischevious bunch. just like my ML gals. i feel good with them. :) still dunno how i'll fit into PL. wait til next week den see... :-/
yeah.. next sun starting my canoeing course. heard the water at kallang is horrible.. bleah
prac was scheduled at 1pm. dunno wat happened.. ended up starting at 2pm. meaning.. ended late at 4 instead of 3. anywayz in the extra hour we had, i brought some gals out and got them mackies. supposed to go see M's daughter... but cos of the delay.. so cant. at the end of the prac, only 2 gals left cos one had to leave at 3. so funny those gals. gotta get them to relax and groove.. but they are not used to grooving.. so not too natural w the performance yet.. but alas we have THREE more gals to 'fix'.. and we are so running out of time.. the gals are so busy i seriously duno how to arrange for more practises.
went for a long overdue hair cut. came back for a run. supposed to meet up w my jc pals.. but too tired.. further have to finish up my worksheets.. still clueless abt wat to teach for music... hmm...
so far so good.. pretty kept in task. tom is an entire day of induction. den meeting Randy n grp for dinner and maybe a drink.. end of spending seasion. lol...
slowly getting the hang of things... pretty enjoyed the company w the PL gals. they are a mischevious bunch. just like my ML gals. i feel good with them. :) still dunno how i'll fit into PL. wait til next week den see... :-/
yeah.. next sun starting my canoeing course. heard the water at kallang is horrible.. bleah
Today... ... ...
Jeremiah 9: 23, 24
This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.
This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.
My journal exactly 4 years ago... ....
Location: Methodist Center, Phnom Pehn, on my bed
Date: 25 June 2000
Time: 1414hr
Day from Singapore: 13
Yup. Today is my day of rest. Thank God for this time and this day. Today is the church's 1st anniversary. Can't believe that just one year ago I was here with Pam and Raj, should be carnival time now last year?
Comparatively speaking, it is so quiet here now. On the bed, with the fan, just taking time off from all the hustle, people - students, team, emails... I know why I am here for, and I thank God for reminding me time and time again though I may forget.
Witnessed the infant (not quite infants) baptism of 3 children just now - 2 of them are Reid's (the guard). Amazing to see how God has touched lives here. Well during the baptism, this lady (I think she's a cleaner?) just interrupted Pastor and wanted her 2 teenager sons baptized. Oh boy, they haven't even been through the classes. This place is just full of surprises.
During the youth session today, Santik and Seng distributed chocs (bought by Doris) for them. I was thinking of letting the youths take them first. But Li Diant told me to just take it. Reason: they are too used to be on the receiving end from Singaporeans. Well, learnt that we shldn't 'give too much' in a sense such that they look to us as providers.
During lunch, Carol Ong and Li Diang teased me about Bun Theong. Said they are 'creating opportunities' for us. Good grief!! Said he's tall enough, 2nd year in U, older. Siao! But its really funny. In return, Carol Ong kena the 'Wang2 Sian1 Shen1). Hee!
Actually supposed to make chui guay. Bought the ingredients already. But!! realised I didn't have the recipte. Recipe is coming with the letter [with got lost along the way]. Hee. Too bad! Figured God wants me to honor this time of rest with Him. :) Just read Marianne's and Geraldine's mail. Things at home church is going great. Praise God!
Date: 25 June 2000
Time: 1414hr
Day from Singapore: 13
Yup. Today is my day of rest. Thank God for this time and this day. Today is the church's 1st anniversary. Can't believe that just one year ago I was here with Pam and Raj, should be carnival time now last year?
Comparatively speaking, it is so quiet here now. On the bed, with the fan, just taking time off from all the hustle, people - students, team, emails... I know why I am here for, and I thank God for reminding me time and time again though I may forget.
Witnessed the infant (not quite infants) baptism of 3 children just now - 2 of them are Reid's (the guard). Amazing to see how God has touched lives here. Well during the baptism, this lady (I think she's a cleaner?) just interrupted Pastor and wanted her 2 teenager sons baptized. Oh boy, they haven't even been through the classes. This place is just full of surprises.
During the youth session today, Santik and Seng distributed chocs (bought by Doris) for them. I was thinking of letting the youths take them first. But Li Diant told me to just take it. Reason: they are too used to be on the receiving end from Singaporeans. Well, learnt that we shldn't 'give too much' in a sense such that they look to us as providers.
During lunch, Carol Ong and Li Diang teased me about Bun Theong. Said they are 'creating opportunities' for us. Good grief!! Said he's tall enough, 2nd year in U, older. Siao! But its really funny. In return, Carol Ong kena the 'Wang2 Sian1 Shen1). Hee!
Actually supposed to make chui guay. Bought the ingredients already. But!! realised I didn't have the recipte. Recipe is coming with the letter [with got lost along the way]. Hee. Too bad! Figured God wants me to honor this time of rest with Him. :) Just read Marianne's and Geraldine's mail. Things at home church is going great. Praise God!
Downing a load of pineapple tarts while typing this....
have been feeling a cocktail of bleah, bored, sianz, sad, sighz, since afternoon. No, its not PMS. Its way too early for that to set in.
Possible reasons? Lets see....
1. School's starting, so no more 'freedom' I get to enjoy
2. Some silly things happening in school plus the pressure that i dunno wat to teach/stuff to prepare
3. Frustration over a relationship
4. the lack of 'adrenaline-inducing' activities i've been used to for the past month.
All these added up.... yup, the perfect cocktail of emotions. Surely there's a better way of looking at things. Yes there is. Its just that I'm not looking at things the right perspective at the moment. I'm getting a little 'used' to my current lifestyle. Nothing wrong with my lifestyle. Except, it is how i value things in my lifestyle tt's where the problem lies. Its been a lot of doing and doing and doing. One thing after another. Good things have happened. I had lotsa fun. I learnt lotsa new things. I've stepped up to the challenges i've set for myself. But perhaps, there has been too much 'I' in the picture. Perhaps why I'm feeling this way has been because i'm too focused on 'I'. There are many more important things out there.. many more important people out there.. ONE most important focus, my ABBA, all of which had been hidden beneath the 'I'. Does it mean that I wldn't feel watever I'm feeling now if this 'I' be hidden behind the cross? *ponders* I suppose I wld still feel the cocktail, except, i'll be able to handle them in a constructive manner? *ponders*
In any case, I got some stuff done today. Sent out two out of the three emails I wanted to. Did my geog pwpt n worksheets. Finally the frustration, boredness and angst got into me in the afternoon decided to pay sandfly a visit at the orchid country club where she's having her staff retreat. she almost fly me kite when i reach AMK. Nonetheless, i went there and waited for her... in her room.. listening to some MP3 and reading my national geography (first time i flipped open the jun issue!!). Thankfully, the quiet time away from home, in the 'hotel-room' setting was good to give me a feeling of being away from it all... we had a long conversation at the pool thereafter with her fren Nancy as well.. Talked abt relationships... talked abt guys who can't commit... talked abt school... talked abt diving.... it was nice to be out.... however... the cab fare wasn't a joke. cos it was late plus the place was ulu... had to call in a cab. i am 24 bucks poorer.... no kidding!!!
now just tired... tom hv to bring students out for the prac again. the instructor did get back to me. in a diplomatic fashion as well... communication is key... tt's one of my belief in life.. and i'm glad its present in this case. :)
end of boring blog... maybe its time i work on my 'I'.... sighz...
Possible reasons? Lets see....
1. School's starting, so no more 'freedom' I get to enjoy
2. Some silly things happening in school plus the pressure that i dunno wat to teach/stuff to prepare
3. Frustration over a relationship
4. the lack of 'adrenaline-inducing' activities i've been used to for the past month.
All these added up.... yup, the perfect cocktail of emotions. Surely there's a better way of looking at things. Yes there is. Its just that I'm not looking at things the right perspective at the moment. I'm getting a little 'used' to my current lifestyle. Nothing wrong with my lifestyle. Except, it is how i value things in my lifestyle tt's where the problem lies. Its been a lot of doing and doing and doing. One thing after another. Good things have happened. I had lotsa fun. I learnt lotsa new things. I've stepped up to the challenges i've set for myself. But perhaps, there has been too much 'I' in the picture. Perhaps why I'm feeling this way has been because i'm too focused on 'I'. There are many more important things out there.. many more important people out there.. ONE most important focus, my ABBA, all of which had been hidden beneath the 'I'. Does it mean that I wldn't feel watever I'm feeling now if this 'I' be hidden behind the cross? *ponders* I suppose I wld still feel the cocktail, except, i'll be able to handle them in a constructive manner? *ponders*
In any case, I got some stuff done today. Sent out two out of the three emails I wanted to. Did my geog pwpt n worksheets. Finally the frustration, boredness and angst got into me in the afternoon decided to pay sandfly a visit at the orchid country club where she's having her staff retreat. she almost fly me kite when i reach AMK. Nonetheless, i went there and waited for her... in her room.. listening to some MP3 and reading my national geography (first time i flipped open the jun issue!!). Thankfully, the quiet time away from home, in the 'hotel-room' setting was good to give me a feeling of being away from it all... we had a long conversation at the pool thereafter with her fren Nancy as well.. Talked abt relationships... talked abt guys who can't commit... talked abt school... talked abt diving.... it was nice to be out.... however... the cab fare wasn't a joke. cos it was late plus the place was ulu... had to call in a cab. i am 24 bucks poorer.... no kidding!!!
now just tired... tom hv to bring students out for the prac again. the instructor did get back to me. in a diplomatic fashion as well... communication is key... tt's one of my belief in life.. and i'm glad its present in this case. :)
end of boring blog... maybe its time i work on my 'I'.... sighz...
Thursday, June 24, 2004
procrastinating...... ....... .......
yeah... i'm quite a procrastinator.... wat are some things i've delayed thus far? lets see....
1. an email i tink i owe a fren to explain some stuff
2. an email to Polly in Cambodia
3. an email to the teammates who went to Cambodia
4. tidying up my room
5. work
6. work
7. work
8. work
9 - infinity. work
its been a 'bleah' nite. struggling to be happy and to look at things on the bright side. wat happened? wrote an email to the music instructor. din scold him. just told him in the most diplomatic manner possible wat my view are. i hope he takes it objectively. other than that, got news from someone in my church (who is not even in PL!!!) that the music co-ord in my sch said i din wanna help out in the school musical. HELLO!!! i neva did say i dun wanna help out. i'm just asking two days off this week so i can prepare my syllabus. why has that been misinterpreted to something else? worse... word got round within 24 hours to unrelated pple? *sighz* worship prac tonite, i was looking forward to playing the piano... its been months.. but noooooo...... i dun get to play the piano. i'm on keyboard again because of some hiccups. so... disappointing...
in any case, dinner with D was pretty good. Teochew porridge. Healthy? well... not when i met EC for supper at coffee club. We were so 'bleah' and 'sianz' basically we stopped thinking and ordered a mudpie, a brownie, two freezes and finished EVERYTHING. this is... not good..... catching up w EC tho is good. when was the last time i saw that gal? weeks? hmm... before i left for cambodia, tt'll be more than 2 weeks back... soon, we'll be busy again... i'd better get my emails done... and my life tidied up. i can't afford to be blue one moment and nonchalant the other. *smilez*
1. an email i tink i owe a fren to explain some stuff
2. an email to Polly in Cambodia
3. an email to the teammates who went to Cambodia
4. tidying up my room
5. work
6. work
7. work
8. work
9 - infinity. work
its been a 'bleah' nite. struggling to be happy and to look at things on the bright side. wat happened? wrote an email to the music instructor. din scold him. just told him in the most diplomatic manner possible wat my view are. i hope he takes it objectively. other than that, got news from someone in my church (who is not even in PL!!!) that the music co-ord in my sch said i din wanna help out in the school musical. HELLO!!! i neva did say i dun wanna help out. i'm just asking two days off this week so i can prepare my syllabus. why has that been misinterpreted to something else? worse... word got round within 24 hours to unrelated pple? *sighz* worship prac tonite, i was looking forward to playing the piano... its been months.. but noooooo...... i dun get to play the piano. i'm on keyboard again because of some hiccups. so... disappointing...
in any case, dinner with D was pretty good. Teochew porridge. Healthy? well... not when i met EC for supper at coffee club. We were so 'bleah' and 'sianz' basically we stopped thinking and ordered a mudpie, a brownie, two freezes and finished EVERYTHING. this is... not good..... catching up w EC tho is good. when was the last time i saw that gal? weeks? hmm... before i left for cambodia, tt'll be more than 2 weeks back... soon, we'll be busy again... i'd better get my emails done... and my life tidied up. i can't afford to be blue one moment and nonchalant the other. *smilez*
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Finally, I'm starting work....
Had been suffering from a bout of 'sian-ness' after the high from all the trips. Had been going back to school last two days to do some work. Today, finally, I manage to get myself seated down in front of the computer to start work. As in, really start work.
Its been a long while since I've been doing this. Sitting in front of the monitor, doing powerpoints etc. Not my favorite task seriously because I suck when it comes to IT. Well, still, its my work and I have to put in my best. :) Suddenly recalled I have to come up with my music syllabus as well as worksheets for all my geography etc. *laughs* oh well... tt's life. Really gonna miss the fun I had in the past month. Did really lotsa stuff. ANd i'm serously thankful for the break I have. Anywayz, as i have learnt, work hard and play hard. Its time to work hard. :) altho.... I'm trying to be careful not to forget that my profession is more than just 'work'. Its also abt passion and love. I could easily fall into the trap of becoming task oriented, forgetting my calling to love my little ones. :) hmm... *ponders*
not sure how life is gonna be like once school reopens. getting readjusted is definitely gonna be tough... but inevitable. no more late nites... no more late nite suppers.. no more going to bars for music as and when i like to... but there will be new things to occupy me w. the school musical coming up in july, coaching students for the music IT competition in july too, i dunno wat else... oh, of course, calling up the IT music instructor to scold him for being so irresponsible making my life miserable and wasting my gals' and my time!!! all these 'new' stuff.... well... at least tt adds to variety? :) [looking on the bright side of life *laughs* while looking forward to the next hols!!]
alamak, i dun even noe wat i'm talking about oredi. just glad tt i'm slowly getting started and not 'drifting' ard in my high. argh.. now i can't get back to work.. tink i shall rest awhile before meeting Dawn tonite and prac in church. wanna go for run leh.. but looks like the haze from indonesia is back..... bleah. oh... and i must rem to go and scold the instructor... nicely... *laughs*
Its been a long while since I've been doing this. Sitting in front of the monitor, doing powerpoints etc. Not my favorite task seriously because I suck when it comes to IT. Well, still, its my work and I have to put in my best. :) Suddenly recalled I have to come up with my music syllabus as well as worksheets for all my geography etc. *laughs* oh well... tt's life. Really gonna miss the fun I had in the past month. Did really lotsa stuff. ANd i'm serously thankful for the break I have. Anywayz, as i have learnt, work hard and play hard. Its time to work hard. :) altho.... I'm trying to be careful not to forget that my profession is more than just 'work'. Its also abt passion and love. I could easily fall into the trap of becoming task oriented, forgetting my calling to love my little ones. :) hmm... *ponders*
not sure how life is gonna be like once school reopens. getting readjusted is definitely gonna be tough... but inevitable. no more late nites... no more late nite suppers.. no more going to bars for music as and when i like to... but there will be new things to occupy me w. the school musical coming up in july, coaching students for the music IT competition in july too, i dunno wat else... oh, of course, calling up the IT music instructor to scold him for being so irresponsible making my life miserable and wasting my gals' and my time!!! all these 'new' stuff.... well... at least tt adds to variety? :) [looking on the bright side of life *laughs* while looking forward to the next hols!!]
alamak, i dun even noe wat i'm talking about oredi. just glad tt i'm slowly getting started and not 'drifting' ard in my high. argh.. now i can't get back to work.. tink i shall rest awhile before meeting Dawn tonite and prac in church. wanna go for run leh.. but looks like the haze from indonesia is back..... bleah. oh... and i must rem to go and scold the instructor... nicely... *laughs*
Monday, June 21, 2004
I tink i can get addicted to scubadiving....
one word to describe:
AWESOME!!!
So many things to write.. but alas, so many things happened within the short time frame i can't recall loads of them!! Now I understd wat DR means when he mentions tt one will be kept occupied when going for a dive. Too tired to say too much too esp while the 'high' effect (certainly not from nitrogen i hope!!) is still sticking ard my head making me smile as and when.
What I like abt it in short:
1. the people. Fabulous bunch of pple. learnt from them:
2. you work hard and u play hard.
3. focus. Diving is really a lot of concentration, so much so, there is no room to think of silly things or worries etc while under. *smile*
4. the satisfaction in completely each task esp for a non-water baby like muaz.
Love the bunch of pple i went w. Love my instructor Jaki (absolutely funny!!). Love my DM Don (love him even more esp when i float away... urm up!!! gosh). Love my pals (who show me so much love and encouragement when i'm go jittery). Love the gay group (gay master and slaves alike lol).
Just hanging out and forgetting about things in Singapore is great. :) May blog more after the terribly needed rest... ... ... ... *drifting away to my bed.... *
AWESOME!!!
So many things to write.. but alas, so many things happened within the short time frame i can't recall loads of them!! Now I understd wat DR means when he mentions tt one will be kept occupied when going for a dive. Too tired to say too much too esp while the 'high' effect (certainly not from nitrogen i hope!!) is still sticking ard my head making me smile as and when.
What I like abt it in short:
1. the people. Fabulous bunch of pple. learnt from them:
2. you work hard and u play hard.
3. focus. Diving is really a lot of concentration, so much so, there is no room to think of silly things or worries etc while under. *smile*
4. the satisfaction in completely each task esp for a non-water baby like muaz.
Love the bunch of pple i went w. Love my instructor Jaki (absolutely funny!!). Love my DM Don (love him even more esp when i float away... urm up!!! gosh). Love my pals (who show me so much love and encouragement when i'm go jittery). Love the gay group (gay master and slaves alike lol).
Just hanging out and forgetting about things in Singapore is great. :) May blog more after the terribly needed rest... ... ... ... *drifting away to my bed.... *
Friday, June 18, 2004
overly excited giraffe!!
yeah. yesterday's pool session went well... thanks for all the support i got from pple ard me and the patient guidance of my instructor. i really like my instructor cos he's quite a sweetie as in he's very assuring in trying to encourage... very sweet to E too... nice boy. the funny thing is that he's actually from the same secondary sch as muaz, two years my senior. according to him, my elder sis shld noe him since.. he was quite notorious? watever...
hvn't been able to wake up late despite late nites. not sure why. maybe im used to the early mornings in cambodia. i find myself waking up at 7, or 8 in the morn, unable to fall asleep. partly i was nervous yesterday (due to the 'impending' pool session), this morn, i'm excited. so excited i hardly got ANYTHING done today except laundry. other than day... its a day wasted packing? yeah.. i dun usually take a day to pack!!! wats w me.. gosh.
i'm quite excited abt the dive. i seriously dunno wat to expect. partly i'm worried cos of the tasks we have to perform to clear the test for certification. partly, i'm curious, because i dunno wat to expect under the sea. is it really gonna be an eye-opener? i've seen a lot on land... rivers and waterfalls,e tc... dun get me wrong. i love them... whenever i go trekking i get reminded of God... :) looking at the trees.. the leaves.. the termites' nests, etc... the sound of rivers remind me of songs of praise we sing during worship sessions... but under the sea? its gonna be something really new. so i'm looking forward to it.
other than that, this activity has been chosen as a challenge to myself. see i'm very weak (to the point of 'moronic') in these areas... spatial, psychomotor, coordination, technical stuff... so this is a good challenge for myself to do something i'm not good in. i tink it may help me to learn to grasp things from new perspectives... not tt i'll excel in it.. but i tink it'll help in my cognitive processing to inject new dimensions to it... other than that, i tink it is impt esp as a teacher tt i challenge myself. how can i challenge my students to learn... when i'm unwilling to try things i'm weak in? yeah, i'm saying this now cos i'm not as demoralized as the previous nites. but i tink it is crucial tt even in the midst of being demoralized, one shld not stop trying.. i hope i can tell myself this in many other things in the future... hmmm.....
gonna spend time catching up with sandfly. :) also gonna spend time to talk to a fren... frenships... just like dark chocolate.. bitter sweet.. cos none of us are perfect.. hmmm....
yeah, EC and Thamps going to my church next sunday!!! looking forward to seeing u gals... tho tt day will mean... SCHOOL STARTS OFFICIALLY THE DAY AFTER!!! i'm gonna miss all the running ard i got to do... :)
hvn't been able to wake up late despite late nites. not sure why. maybe im used to the early mornings in cambodia. i find myself waking up at 7, or 8 in the morn, unable to fall asleep. partly i was nervous yesterday (due to the 'impending' pool session), this morn, i'm excited. so excited i hardly got ANYTHING done today except laundry. other than day... its a day wasted packing? yeah.. i dun usually take a day to pack!!! wats w me.. gosh.
i'm quite excited abt the dive. i seriously dunno wat to expect. partly i'm worried cos of the tasks we have to perform to clear the test for certification. partly, i'm curious, because i dunno wat to expect under the sea. is it really gonna be an eye-opener? i've seen a lot on land... rivers and waterfalls,e tc... dun get me wrong. i love them... whenever i go trekking i get reminded of God... :) looking at the trees.. the leaves.. the termites' nests, etc... the sound of rivers remind me of songs of praise we sing during worship sessions... but under the sea? its gonna be something really new. so i'm looking forward to it.
other than that, this activity has been chosen as a challenge to myself. see i'm very weak (to the point of 'moronic') in these areas... spatial, psychomotor, coordination, technical stuff... so this is a good challenge for myself to do something i'm not good in. i tink it may help me to learn to grasp things from new perspectives... not tt i'll excel in it.. but i tink it'll help in my cognitive processing to inject new dimensions to it... other than that, i tink it is impt esp as a teacher tt i challenge myself. how can i challenge my students to learn... when i'm unwilling to try things i'm weak in? yeah, i'm saying this now cos i'm not as demoralized as the previous nites. but i tink it is crucial tt even in the midst of being demoralized, one shld not stop trying.. i hope i can tell myself this in many other things in the future... hmmm.....
gonna spend time catching up with sandfly. :) also gonna spend time to talk to a fren... frenships... just like dark chocolate.. bitter sweet.. cos none of us are perfect.. hmmm....
yeah, EC and Thamps going to my church next sunday!!! looking forward to seeing u gals... tho tt day will mean... SCHOOL STARTS OFFICIALLY THE DAY AFTER!!! i'm gonna miss all the running ard i got to do... :)
SO EXHAUSTED!!!
but silly EC forcing me to download a song from her NOW and to listen to the song NOW!!! Evil.... I"M SO TIRED!!!
but its been good.. cos the pool session turned out very well!! in fact my instructor even commented once 'impressive'.... actually i'm very happy with my 'performance' today. managed to stay calm and clear minded. Thank God. Also, thanks G, E, Sandfly, et al. Thanks for all ur encouragement.. in my nervousnes and all.. i'm really touched. :)
hee.. i'm very happy tonite.. oh, EC and Pui bought me the nike singlet i've been looking high and low for!!! thanks gals!! *muaks*
shucks while updating the blog she sent me another one!! i better make this a fast one.. before more comes..
i made another boo boo.. i thot we are going to meet at lucky plaza... but NO!!! its newton. luckily G informed me.. if not.. mua ha ha. i dare not think. :-P
but its been good.. cos the pool session turned out very well!! in fact my instructor even commented once 'impressive'.... actually i'm very happy with my 'performance' today. managed to stay calm and clear minded. Thank God. Also, thanks G, E, Sandfly, et al. Thanks for all ur encouragement.. in my nervousnes and all.. i'm really touched. :)
hee.. i'm very happy tonite.. oh, EC and Pui bought me the nike singlet i've been looking high and low for!!! thanks gals!! *muaks*
shucks while updating the blog she sent me another one!! i better make this a fast one.. before more comes..
i made another boo boo.. i thot we are going to meet at lucky plaza... but NO!!! its newton. luckily G informed me.. if not.. mua ha ha. i dare not think. :-P
Thursday, June 17, 2004
demoralized....
had my pool session for scuba yesterday... came home feeling really exhausted n demoralized... demoralized cos one, my buddy can't join me in the deep blue. two, i suck!! I SUCK BIG TIME!!! was so extremely slow... tasks were tough to handle... and trying... AM SERIOUSLY TRYING.... got a second session laterz... haiz... nonetheless... I"LL TRY!!!
oh.. doesn't help my broadband connection is completely done since yesterday... #*$#^(* using my darn slow dialup.. which, i can't when my sis is online/on the fon. being perpectually online 24-7 (okiez tt's exageration), but used to being online all thro my waking hours (sometiems when i'm concussed too) makes it hell for me... adding on to the pool session!!! ARGH!!!! *wrenching out hair*
I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT!!
oh.. doesn't help my broadband connection is completely done since yesterday... #*$#^(* using my darn slow dialup.. which, i can't when my sis is online/on the fon. being perpectually online 24-7 (okiez tt's exageration), but used to being online all thro my waking hours (sometiems when i'm concussed too) makes it hell for me... adding on to the pool session!!! ARGH!!!! *wrenching out hair*
I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
I had a wonderful conversation w G last nite...
G and I have come a long way... very very long. Its hard to imagine that I was her Sunday School teacher!!! How time has passed, and how this gal has matured. Well, there's still room for improvement... ;) but isn't that the case for every single one of us? :)
Yesterday G 'confronted' me on an issue I never dared to really share with her. Because of our differences in personalities and methods of handling certian matters, I fear telling her what I'm going through. Its nice to be able to talk things out with a fren without trying to hide some things... And I'm glad she asked. :) SO that we can both clarify our doubts and thoughts and all.... and also at the same time learn to accept each other as we are. Now I'm really glad I can share an important portion of my life with her.... because I no longer fear 'rejection' in a certain manner. :)
In any case, G said something which really really touched me yesterday. She said that she thinks that I deserve better. It was such an 'aw........' moment. Hey gal, you might think that i'm kicking a fuss out of it... but seriously, it really encouraged me, and give me a sense of self worth I haven't heard for a long time. And that coming from you, counts even much much more. I wish I can be there for you the way you have been for me, but sometimes I seriously dunno wat to do or say. *smile*
I remember a post i published months ago on friendship... this is wat i mean by true frenship. being there and doing one's best for the other. (urm, different from imposing!) its not about the frequency of meeting up, of talking, but its being there and noeing that the other will be there whenever. We've come a long way to learn this ey? ;)
well.... now i'm seriously very very sleepy from the late conversation... but den... alas i'm used to waking up early!! drats!! tink might just take a nap later... and of course,... preparation for school. Oh yes, i'll hv to call up PL to fix up something later.... oh.. and of course there's the pool session... eeks... the 10 min 'floatation trick'!!! i'll be this idiot floating on my back for 10 mins!!! BLEAH! lol... *yawnz*
Yesterday G 'confronted' me on an issue I never dared to really share with her. Because of our differences in personalities and methods of handling certian matters, I fear telling her what I'm going through. Its nice to be able to talk things out with a fren without trying to hide some things... And I'm glad she asked. :) SO that we can both clarify our doubts and thoughts and all.... and also at the same time learn to accept each other as we are. Now I'm really glad I can share an important portion of my life with her.... because I no longer fear 'rejection' in a certain manner. :)
In any case, G said something which really really touched me yesterday. She said that she thinks that I deserve better. It was such an 'aw........' moment. Hey gal, you might think that i'm kicking a fuss out of it... but seriously, it really encouraged me, and give me a sense of self worth I haven't heard for a long time. And that coming from you, counts even much much more. I wish I can be there for you the way you have been for me, but sometimes I seriously dunno wat to do or say. *smile*
I remember a post i published months ago on friendship... this is wat i mean by true frenship. being there and doing one's best for the other. (urm, different from imposing!) its not about the frequency of meeting up, of talking, but its being there and noeing that the other will be there whenever. We've come a long way to learn this ey? ;)
well.... now i'm seriously very very sleepy from the late conversation... but den... alas i'm used to waking up early!! drats!! tink might just take a nap later... and of course,... preparation for school. Oh yes, i'll hv to call up PL to fix up something later.... oh.. and of course there's the pool session... eeks... the 10 min 'floatation trick'!!! i'll be this idiot floating on my back for 10 mins!!! BLEAH! lol... *yawnz*
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
I'm home.....
Have yet to consolidate my thoughts for this entire trip.
It has been a good trip for all the participants. How so? I see that everyone has been touched by God through the children. Eyes have also been opened to see the needs of many others... things we have taken for granted... A shelter to go back to, knowing and having a choice of when to have our next meal(s), bug-free beds, accessible drinking water, variety of food, peace.... and the list goes on. It is only my prayer that what has been seen, heard and felt will remain in each heart, and spread beyond. I believe that once one sees these, their lives will never be the same again. And I'm really joyful for the many eyes that have been opened.
It has been a good trip for myself. Not 'impactful'. But good. How so? Firstly, I am glad to be involved in the youths' lives in sharing the experience of Cambodia and all with them. I'm surprised by how one or two of them actually looked up to me in the area of missions. I mean, seriously, sometimes I think I've sort of 'screwed up' my life, been an 'unholy' and nonchalant Christian. But yet, God has been merciful to me. This gives me more impetous to go back to my Abba's heartbeat for the world. To remember what is on His mind and heart. Suddenly the minute things in my life pales in comparison to the things that count for eternity.
Second reason why it has been good for me... As mentioned, I'm reminded of the many needs and cries out in the world... Two years away from missions has been replaced by many little things in life that has distracted me. The all-familiar feeling came back to me... It took a bit of adjustment. First two days in Cambodia i was like "Gosh, all these bugs, etc etc... I wonder how I can take it if I'm going to be here long term..." With each day that passes, I begin to feel at home once again. I begin to see the many lives again. I begin to see how each can be transformed to one filled with assurance and eternal joy... I begin to see how it is all worth it. I questioned my bong srey who's there, how she could be away from home, and settle here for the children. Her reply was that, she's not a 'capable' person. But, its all about obedience. If she says that she loves God, she'll want to serve Him. And this is how she does it. If the Lord calls again, can I do it? My prayer is that I will say, "Yes Lord, I'll go..." For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
So what next? I challenged my new godbrother and a few other youths. What next? I pose myself the same question. Frankly I have no idea. Still consolidating my thoughts. But its definitely good to be out there in the field again, to see how the Lord is continuously working, to look beyond the myopic perspective again. :)
It has been a good trip for all the participants. How so? I see that everyone has been touched by God through the children. Eyes have also been opened to see the needs of many others... things we have taken for granted... A shelter to go back to, knowing and having a choice of when to have our next meal(s), bug-free beds, accessible drinking water, variety of food, peace.... and the list goes on. It is only my prayer that what has been seen, heard and felt will remain in each heart, and spread beyond. I believe that once one sees these, their lives will never be the same again. And I'm really joyful for the many eyes that have been opened.
It has been a good trip for myself. Not 'impactful'. But good. How so? Firstly, I am glad to be involved in the youths' lives in sharing the experience of Cambodia and all with them. I'm surprised by how one or two of them actually looked up to me in the area of missions. I mean, seriously, sometimes I think I've sort of 'screwed up' my life, been an 'unholy' and nonchalant Christian. But yet, God has been merciful to me. This gives me more impetous to go back to my Abba's heartbeat for the world. To remember what is on His mind and heart. Suddenly the minute things in my life pales in comparison to the things that count for eternity.
Second reason why it has been good for me... As mentioned, I'm reminded of the many needs and cries out in the world... Two years away from missions has been replaced by many little things in life that has distracted me. The all-familiar feeling came back to me... It took a bit of adjustment. First two days in Cambodia i was like "Gosh, all these bugs, etc etc... I wonder how I can take it if I'm going to be here long term..." With each day that passes, I begin to feel at home once again. I begin to see the many lives again. I begin to see how each can be transformed to one filled with assurance and eternal joy... I begin to see how it is all worth it. I questioned my bong srey who's there, how she could be away from home, and settle here for the children. Her reply was that, she's not a 'capable' person. But, its all about obedience. If she says that she loves God, she'll want to serve Him. And this is how she does it. If the Lord calls again, can I do it? My prayer is that I will say, "Yes Lord, I'll go..." For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
So what next? I challenged my new godbrother and a few other youths. What next? I pose myself the same question. Frankly I have no idea. Still consolidating my thoughts. But its definitely good to be out there in the field again, to see how the Lord is continuously working, to look beyond the myopic perspective again. :)
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Sunday, June 06, 2004
God always provide pple to 'lift' me up...
Was to carry quite a load for Cambodia from home to church. Mom's even 'worried' cos she thinks the stuff is heavy (tho its so-so to me, more like bulky). Had a short msn conversation w E, after which she proposed breakfast and tt she'll pick me up. Mom always say i'm very blessed as in... there will always be people to give me lifts... for eg. in NIE, i got lifts from SS when I leave hostel on Fridays... there's also G to send me to hostel on Sunday evenings... in Sem 2, i get lifts from KY sometimes... while doing my practicum in PYSS, i get lifts from GB... and this morn... while i did not ask.. i happen to be blessed again (of course with company for breakfast as well!! if not, it'll be icecream for breakfast again... *whinez*)
Anywayz, i just told my mom... tt... somehow God is providing for me again.. so she made this comment "See, you never noe, but God always provide... things good for us... better than we can arrange..." Simple words that I've learnt since Sunday School... which I've applied in different phases of my life... which I've taught some of the youths previously... but its profound when the 'doing' gets in... when faith comes into the picture... difficult when one chooses to do things his/her way... when one refuses to let go and keeps his/her fist clenched holding on to their little 'treasures'...
i've been that little gal who's been holding on... hard to my little 'treasure'... doing things my way... because... i fear loss in His way... i cannot be bothered to hear His voice? hmmm... anywayz,i learnt... the longer one holds... the more painful it becomes... not because it becomes more painful to hold (well it is)... but (more) because.... the void of communication between the Father and the child soon becomes unbearable... How can one survive forever without ABBA, without Jesus, without the Counsellor.... not for long...
something we will be singing for service later... (one of the few songs i'm looking forward to.. given the rest of the... *faints* songs... *chuckle*)
Exceeding Joy
Copyright 2002 Miriam Webster/Hillsong Publishing
from Hope - Bonus CD
I have found exceeding joy,
Jesus answered when I called
this Name that has saved me,
pure love that embraced me.
Mercy, grace, eternal life.
Bought from darkness to His light.
While lost in my sin, He
raised me and made me live.
Chorus:
My soul magnifies the Lord,
my heart joys in God my Saviour,
for He lifts the lowly,
He's done great things for me.
I will sing, praising evermore,
He is mighty and Holy is His Name.
I will lift my head up high,
praising Jesus through each trial.
Though I have not seen Him,
I love Him completely.
Gotta go... E is 'lift'ing me up soon... :)
Anywayz, i just told my mom... tt... somehow God is providing for me again.. so she made this comment "See, you never noe, but God always provide... things good for us... better than we can arrange..." Simple words that I've learnt since Sunday School... which I've applied in different phases of my life... which I've taught some of the youths previously... but its profound when the 'doing' gets in... when faith comes into the picture... difficult when one chooses to do things his/her way... when one refuses to let go and keeps his/her fist clenched holding on to their little 'treasures'...
i've been that little gal who's been holding on... hard to my little 'treasure'... doing things my way... because... i fear loss in His way... i cannot be bothered to hear His voice? hmmm... anywayz,i learnt... the longer one holds... the more painful it becomes... not because it becomes more painful to hold (well it is)... but (more) because.... the void of communication between the Father and the child soon becomes unbearable... How can one survive forever without ABBA, without Jesus, without the Counsellor.... not for long...
something we will be singing for service later... (one of the few songs i'm looking forward to.. given the rest of the... *faints* songs... *chuckle*)
Exceeding Joy
Copyright 2002 Miriam Webster/Hillsong Publishing
from Hope - Bonus CD
I have found exceeding joy,
Jesus answered when I called
this Name that has saved me,
pure love that embraced me.
Mercy, grace, eternal life.
Bought from darkness to His light.
While lost in my sin, He
raised me and made me live.
Chorus:
My soul magnifies the Lord,
my heart joys in God my Saviour,
for He lifts the lowly,
He's done great things for me.
I will sing, praising evermore,
He is mighty and Holy is His Name.
I will lift my head up high,
praising Jesus through each trial.
Though I have not seen Him,
I love Him completely.
Gotta go... E is 'lift'ing me up soon... :)
Saturday, June 05, 2004
All by myself.....
to esplanade.... all by myself.... (to the tune of the song 'All by myself". *chuckles*
that's not a bad thing!! well... see, i've been stuck all day waiting for my fren visiting from Indonesia to call, but he did not, so i felt... *bleah* as if the entire day has been wasted at home.. well.. at the same time, i wanted to go down for my second flipside performance at the esplanade... featuring E-Tree (neva heard of them before, but the review of the fusion band sounds interesting enough)... it was a pretty last minute decision... i cldn't get anyone to accompany me.. so i decided to just... gear up and go down to the esplanade on my own. :)
i'm glad i did that. if i remain at home, i tink i'll be bored to death. being out on my own also has a greater significance. well, its been a while since i've gone out to town to 'hang out' on my own. its nice... walkng on my own... looking at pple.. tinking... yeah.. tinking.. there's no one to have to pay attention to.. no one to entertain... no one to be distracted by... i'm not saying i'm gonna be a loner from henceforth. i LOVE people... its just that.. i'm glad i manage to go out, 'hang out' on my own.. because.. chances are, i'd like to do more of that in the future... :) be more independent... too blessed with people in my life sometimes i've forgotten that. :) maybe the only boring part would be during the interval between the sets of performance... it was.. boring.. din help i did not bring anything to read.
i thot i might find some time off to tink.. and talk to God... but... i've drifted so far... i dun even really noe how sometimes... as i mentioned to my brother.. maybe i hv to relearn to look at things from a wider perspective. i dunno.. just have to see how...
hmmm.... i wonder how many people will be comfortable 'hanging out' with themselves... i'm not talking about performing tasks alone.. buying bedsheets from town etc... not sure.... maybe i'm too much a people-person. :)
that's not a bad thing!! well... see, i've been stuck all day waiting for my fren visiting from Indonesia to call, but he did not, so i felt... *bleah* as if the entire day has been wasted at home.. well.. at the same time, i wanted to go down for my second flipside performance at the esplanade... featuring E-Tree (neva heard of them before, but the review of the fusion band sounds interesting enough)... it was a pretty last minute decision... i cldn't get anyone to accompany me.. so i decided to just... gear up and go down to the esplanade on my own. :)
i'm glad i did that. if i remain at home, i tink i'll be bored to death. being out on my own also has a greater significance. well, its been a while since i've gone out to town to 'hang out' on my own. its nice... walkng on my own... looking at pple.. tinking... yeah.. tinking.. there's no one to have to pay attention to.. no one to entertain... no one to be distracted by... i'm not saying i'm gonna be a loner from henceforth. i LOVE people... its just that.. i'm glad i manage to go out, 'hang out' on my own.. because.. chances are, i'd like to do more of that in the future... :) be more independent... too blessed with people in my life sometimes i've forgotten that. :) maybe the only boring part would be during the interval between the sets of performance... it was.. boring.. din help i did not bring anything to read.
i thot i might find some time off to tink.. and talk to God... but... i've drifted so far... i dun even really noe how sometimes... as i mentioned to my brother.. maybe i hv to relearn to look at things from a wider perspective. i dunno.. just have to see how...
hmmm.... i wonder how many people will be comfortable 'hanging out' with themselves... i'm not talking about performing tasks alone.. buying bedsheets from town etc... not sure.... maybe i'm too much a people-person. :)
Friday, June 04, 2004
ice cream by boat quay....
yupz... another gals nite out... :) haven't had time to update cos i was just completely tired out after...
had a tough worship prac last nite. the songs chosen... wow... just tough... i was extremely stressed last nite. was a little distracted too.. so it made things very tough. was just glad that G was there during the prac.. at least some times when silly things happened, there's someone to give me the reassurance that i did something... not wrong... *chuckle* and well... those helpless looks we give each other sometimes during those 'omigosh' moments... :)
was actually at G's place before the prac just hanging out. watched the scubadive vcd too.. it was... BORING!!! lol... we went running at east coast.. its been a while since i ran there.. and its been a while since she ran... hey gal, u need to get back your passion for running!! talking abt the glorious days won't get u anywhere. ;)
anywayz, after the tough prac, both of us were so.. bleah.. tt we just wanted to hang out.. so after contemplation at shell petrol station, we decided to buy a tub of icecream, sit by boat quay (cheap and quiet!!).. we were so super underdressed for boat quay.. in like tshirt and shorts? but it doesnt' matter.. its the company and time spent that counts. just sat there, facing the river... overlooking indochine... listening to some of the music that drifts across the river from there.. talked abt... life.. career... boys... the fact that.. maybe its not worthwhile getting married!!! *chuckles* anywayz, it was a nice nite.. only... i finished like.. more than half the tub of icecream.. i mean the 1.5L tub... :-P now i feel like a bigger blob of fat . lol we get weird looks from people.. but it doesnt matter..
by the time i was home.. i was quite concussed... so by the time i woke up at almost 10, i was almost late for the workship held by an african gospel choir.. thankfully i managed to make it.. after which, had my brunch, went home, concussed again... this time round, my nap was disturbed by some smses and calls.. nvm.. my mood has been quite good of late.. so its fine...
just came back from dinner n Harry Potter. I STILL WANNA WATCH DAY AFTER TOM!!! AND VAN HELSING!! nvm... slowly... now still have like 3 over hours of the vcd for scubadive.. *yawnz* slowly plough thro them lah...
tom's another gals' day out!!! lol.. with EC to JB again.. the fact that we din get to shop that time round cos of TROY really eating into us ey? lol... alrite.. long enough a blog... good enough for me to remember tho.. :)
had a tough worship prac last nite. the songs chosen... wow... just tough... i was extremely stressed last nite. was a little distracted too.. so it made things very tough. was just glad that G was there during the prac.. at least some times when silly things happened, there's someone to give me the reassurance that i did something... not wrong... *chuckle* and well... those helpless looks we give each other sometimes during those 'omigosh' moments... :)
was actually at G's place before the prac just hanging out. watched the scubadive vcd too.. it was... BORING!!! lol... we went running at east coast.. its been a while since i ran there.. and its been a while since she ran... hey gal, u need to get back your passion for running!! talking abt the glorious days won't get u anywhere. ;)
anywayz, after the tough prac, both of us were so.. bleah.. tt we just wanted to hang out.. so after contemplation at shell petrol station, we decided to buy a tub of icecream, sit by boat quay (cheap and quiet!!).. we were so super underdressed for boat quay.. in like tshirt and shorts? but it doesnt' matter.. its the company and time spent that counts. just sat there, facing the river... overlooking indochine... listening to some of the music that drifts across the river from there.. talked abt... life.. career... boys... the fact that.. maybe its not worthwhile getting married!!! *chuckles* anywayz, it was a nice nite.. only... i finished like.. more than half the tub of icecream.. i mean the 1.5L tub... :-P now i feel like a bigger blob of fat . lol we get weird looks from people.. but it doesnt matter..
by the time i was home.. i was quite concussed... so by the time i woke up at almost 10, i was almost late for the workship held by an african gospel choir.. thankfully i managed to make it.. after which, had my brunch, went home, concussed again... this time round, my nap was disturbed by some smses and calls.. nvm.. my mood has been quite good of late.. so its fine...
just came back from dinner n Harry Potter. I STILL WANNA WATCH DAY AFTER TOM!!! AND VAN HELSING!! nvm... slowly... now still have like 3 over hours of the vcd for scubadive.. *yawnz* slowly plough thro them lah...
tom's another gals' day out!!! lol.. with EC to JB again.. the fact that we din get to shop that time round cos of TROY really eating into us ey? lol... alrite.. long enough a blog... good enough for me to remember tho.. :)
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
another gals nite out...
yeah... and I almost had to pretend PW and I were a gay couple. LOL
oh.. let me start with my day out in the late afternoon... rushed down to the cambodia embassy to get my visa done. had to get it done by hook or by crook today cos.. schedule's quite tight for the next week... urm.. actually all the way. and thank God.. i managed to reach the embassy just before it closes!!! so visa done. Was a little early to meet EC in town to watch Shrek 2, so dropped by ANA's boutique nearby for a while. Spoke to DB while waiting for ANA... chatted abt her new baby and all... so scary. makes me tink twice whether i really wanna have kids in the future!!
EC n i were quite short of time.. so ended up sharing a two piece chicken kfc meal. so pathetic. anywayz, the show was quite funny. i love the poor-little-take-me-home-with-you look pussy put up. it was hilarious. show ended earlier than expected so we decided to drop by the scubadive shop to get my deposit paid up. something i thot wld take only 10 minutes took us almost an hour!!! forms to fill in... etc etc... poor PW had to wait for us at boat quay.
music at harry's was good. the pianist was.... fabulicious!! the gals had a great time... just letting our hair down.. and when i mean that.. i mean.. we go almost completely bersek!! lol.. okiez.. not quite.. but was a little 'ruined' by some irritating group of guys who came along the way and sat at the table next to us. One of them seem to be looking over quite a bit... looking for opp for contact? anywayz, i wasn't feeling quite comfy, so just shifted towards PW... and after a while.. decided to just shift my chair and face my back towards them. According to PW, one of them was like pointing at me.. and encouraging the other fren to pick me up.. or something like that.. so PW suggested tt if they do that, we'll just tell them that we (PW and myself) are oredi an item!! meaning.. we are... LESBIANS!!! lol we almos t laughed our heads off. PW later commented/complainted that singaporean guys are cowardy.. in a sense that they dun dare to just come over, or buy a drink... but to me... THANKFULLY they are cowardy.. at least in this case... *faints* so irritating... thanks to these pple i cldn't face the band. hmph. we had fun... wld just have more fun without these irritating pple ard.. one of them even dared to sweep his hands off EC's hands when he was walking by!?!?! ^@&%@$! wats wrong w them?
after the final set of music, we decided we were hungry. headed off to geylang for supper.. tao huay... not my fav.... but its for the company... oh no... at the rate i'm going.. somemore dinner at G's place tom... I"LL NEVA LOSE WEIGHT!!! bleah!
anywayz... i'm quite tired now. dun tink i can make it to meet SJ for hiking at bukit timah tom morn... lol.. *yawnz*
hmm... church camp begins tom.. i wonder how the rest of them are doing... i wonder what good things are in store for them.... :)
oh.. let me start with my day out in the late afternoon... rushed down to the cambodia embassy to get my visa done. had to get it done by hook or by crook today cos.. schedule's quite tight for the next week... urm.. actually all the way. and thank God.. i managed to reach the embassy just before it closes!!! so visa done. Was a little early to meet EC in town to watch Shrek 2, so dropped by ANA's boutique nearby for a while. Spoke to DB while waiting for ANA... chatted abt her new baby and all... so scary. makes me tink twice whether i really wanna have kids in the future!!
EC n i were quite short of time.. so ended up sharing a two piece chicken kfc meal. so pathetic. anywayz, the show was quite funny. i love the poor-little-take-me-home-with-you look pussy put up. it was hilarious. show ended earlier than expected so we decided to drop by the scubadive shop to get my deposit paid up. something i thot wld take only 10 minutes took us almost an hour!!! forms to fill in... etc etc... poor PW had to wait for us at boat quay.
music at harry's was good. the pianist was.... fabulicious!! the gals had a great time... just letting our hair down.. and when i mean that.. i mean.. we go almost completely bersek!! lol.. okiez.. not quite.. but was a little 'ruined' by some irritating group of guys who came along the way and sat at the table next to us. One of them seem to be looking over quite a bit... looking for opp for contact? anywayz, i wasn't feeling quite comfy, so just shifted towards PW... and after a while.. decided to just shift my chair and face my back towards them. According to PW, one of them was like pointing at me.. and encouraging the other fren to pick me up.. or something like that.. so PW suggested tt if they do that, we'll just tell them that we (PW and myself) are oredi an item!! meaning.. we are... LESBIANS!!! lol we almos t laughed our heads off. PW later commented/complainted that singaporean guys are cowardy.. in a sense that they dun dare to just come over, or buy a drink... but to me... THANKFULLY they are cowardy.. at least in this case... *faints* so irritating... thanks to these pple i cldn't face the band. hmph. we had fun... wld just have more fun without these irritating pple ard.. one of them even dared to sweep his hands off EC's hands when he was walking by!?!?! ^@&%@$! wats wrong w them?
after the final set of music, we decided we were hungry. headed off to geylang for supper.. tao huay... not my fav.... but its for the company... oh no... at the rate i'm going.. somemore dinner at G's place tom... I"LL NEVA LOSE WEIGHT!!! bleah!
anywayz... i'm quite tired now. dun tink i can make it to meet SJ for hiking at bukit timah tom morn... lol.. *yawnz*
hmm... church camp begins tom.. i wonder how the rest of them are doing... i wonder what good things are in store for them.... :)
Monday, May 31, 2004
when two well-rested gals get together......
i am talking abt EC and myself. Just popped by her place (not quite pop by, cos i literally had to drag myself there due to inertia n lethargy) to practise swimming for the scubadive course (it did not turn out successful still... sighz... i'm still sinking... to the point i seriously wanna laugh at myself!!). Had a lot of fun at the pool because i was so pathetic...
after the 'swim' decided to go for dinner and to do some stocking up of junk food from the supermart. we had quite a long dinner at this near sushi outlet (yeah, the last time we eat tog was sushi too).. as usual... we ended up talking and talking... and talking.. it was a lot of fun... a lot of crap... she was back to her notti n mischevious self. we figured something, that we were really rested after our trips overseas. at this moment, we are both on perpectual high... u noe when u take 'grass', u'll end up with this fixated smile on ur face... and yeah, we sort of had that kindof smile on our faces lately. :) its good. being well-rested and being high also means that we come up with crazy things to do.. at least things i'd not have expected EC to do.
That gal wanted to have sake. But we figured the sake in the restaurant was a little too costly. so we decided to pick up the drink on while i stocked up on my junk supply. she bought a lot of sweets under my 'encouragement'. lol... and i still can't believe we ended up in the aisle with alcohol, browsing around... and finally picking up one lemony drink... because.. it looks nice to drink lah. lol in anycase we were having a lot of fun at the supermart...
den we just went and found a nice place just outside parkway with fountains and all.. shared the drink and talked more crap. it may be common for some pple to do it.. but EC and myself? its funny... but great. :) Gal, thanks for the fun. :)
its really nice to be rested. :) and i'm glad tt she's rested too... she's been so stressed for the previous months... we all had to 'leave her alone'... as in.. not ignoring her.. but giving her space... and i believe in giving pple space in frenships. its crucial... and hence my entry some time ago on frenship... :) u dun always have to meet a person etc... but its really abt being there...
well anywayz, i'm a well-rested and well-fed gal. seriously need to work out.. tom need to go embassy to get my visa done.. must remember... just got a piece of bad news... someone just died of freak accident while doing his open water dive course in tioman... and i still can't tread water... i hope this won't make them more strict in terms of the prerequisite needed... sighz.. i'll be so so so disappointed....
after the 'swim' decided to go for dinner and to do some stocking up of junk food from the supermart. we had quite a long dinner at this near sushi outlet (yeah, the last time we eat tog was sushi too).. as usual... we ended up talking and talking... and talking.. it was a lot of fun... a lot of crap... she was back to her notti n mischevious self. we figured something, that we were really rested after our trips overseas. at this moment, we are both on perpectual high... u noe when u take 'grass', u'll end up with this fixated smile on ur face... and yeah, we sort of had that kindof smile on our faces lately. :) its good. being well-rested and being high also means that we come up with crazy things to do.. at least things i'd not have expected EC to do.
That gal wanted to have sake. But we figured the sake in the restaurant was a little too costly. so we decided to pick up the drink on while i stocked up on my junk supply. she bought a lot of sweets under my 'encouragement'. lol... and i still can't believe we ended up in the aisle with alcohol, browsing around... and finally picking up one lemony drink... because.. it looks nice to drink lah. lol in anycase we were having a lot of fun at the supermart...
den we just went and found a nice place just outside parkway with fountains and all.. shared the drink and talked more crap. it may be common for some pple to do it.. but EC and myself? its funny... but great. :) Gal, thanks for the fun. :)
its really nice to be rested. :) and i'm glad tt she's rested too... she's been so stressed for the previous months... we all had to 'leave her alone'... as in.. not ignoring her.. but giving her space... and i believe in giving pple space in frenships. its crucial... and hence my entry some time ago on frenship... :) u dun always have to meet a person etc... but its really abt being there...
well anywayz, i'm a well-rested and well-fed gal. seriously need to work out.. tom need to go embassy to get my visa done.. must remember... just got a piece of bad news... someone just died of freak accident while doing his open water dive course in tioman... and i still can't tread water... i hope this won't make them more strict in terms of the prerequisite needed... sighz.. i'll be so so so disappointed....
happy-go-lucky or cynical?
two things triggered off this thot. was reading G's blog in which she 'classified' herself as a cynic as well as... wat comes in a package as one being cynical/skeptical. this triggered off a statement EC told me before. i guess i had been a little 'unhappier' maybe a month/few weeks ago, and thus she mentioned to me that the first time she visited my church, when she spoke to ANA, ANA told her that i'm a happy-go-lucky person. but at least my behavior for the past weeks hvn't quite reflected that? :)
So now i pose myself this question. Am I a happy-go-lucky or cynical person? *ponders* I was definitely a happy-go-lucky person in my younger days. Well, even a couple of years back, I was still happy-go-lucky. Perhaps as one goes thro more experiences and events in life, or due to the company one delves himself in, one becomes more critical about things. Hey, nothing wrong with being critical. I tink it is important to be critical without becoming pessimistic/skeptical. Once negativity sets in, it might become a downward spiral going further and further down? I'm not sure.
i like to tink that i'm still happy-go-lucky, except that i'm more reflective and critical (to the point of being skeptical sometimes). G mentioned that being skeptical/cynical helps her gain certain knowledge from reflections that might not hv surfaced if she wasn't. Tt's true. But I believe being happy-go-lucky has its value too. We get different sorts of happiness and disappointments. Perhaps more disappointments because we are more 'susceptible' to them? Well in any case, people come in assortment. Tt's y we complement each other. I need a critical (dun quite like the term cynical, negative connotation attached) person to hold me on track, while a cynical person needs a happy-go-lucky person to remain optimistic in this not too happy world. Well, occasionally we might strangle each other and wonder how 'stupid' the other party is since we dun see eye to eye and thus dun understd the logic of thinking of the other. still.... we need the balance from these pple...
so happy-go-lucky or cynical? hmm.... i tink a lot depends on my 'mood', the circumstances i'm in... i like to say that i'm still a happy-go-lucky person, tinged with some critical-ness for survival... hmm... for leading a fulfuling life. :)
So now i pose myself this question. Am I a happy-go-lucky or cynical person? *ponders* I was definitely a happy-go-lucky person in my younger days. Well, even a couple of years back, I was still happy-go-lucky. Perhaps as one goes thro more experiences and events in life, or due to the company one delves himself in, one becomes more critical about things. Hey, nothing wrong with being critical. I tink it is important to be critical without becoming pessimistic/skeptical. Once negativity sets in, it might become a downward spiral going further and further down? I'm not sure.
i like to tink that i'm still happy-go-lucky, except that i'm more reflective and critical (to the point of being skeptical sometimes). G mentioned that being skeptical/cynical helps her gain certain knowledge from reflections that might not hv surfaced if she wasn't. Tt's true. But I believe being happy-go-lucky has its value too. We get different sorts of happiness and disappointments. Perhaps more disappointments because we are more 'susceptible' to them? Well in any case, people come in assortment. Tt's y we complement each other. I need a critical (dun quite like the term cynical, negative connotation attached) person to hold me on track, while a cynical person needs a happy-go-lucky person to remain optimistic in this not too happy world. Well, occasionally we might strangle each other and wonder how 'stupid' the other party is since we dun see eye to eye and thus dun understd the logic of thinking of the other. still.... we need the balance from these pple...
so happy-go-lucky or cynical? hmm.... i tink a lot depends on my 'mood', the circumstances i'm in... i like to say that i'm still a happy-go-lucky person, tinged with some critical-ness for survival... hmm... for leading a fulfuling life. :)
Sunday, May 30, 2004
its a 'so-so' day. strange. shldn't be... but i just feel so-so. :)
church in the morning. worship was.. urm.. quite good i tink. i'm sometimes worshipping, sometimes 'distracted'? but den again, how does one 'define' worship while one is a musician? having to multi-task.. istn't really that easy.. hmm... i mean, u've gotta watch out for the worship leader, u've gotta watch the band... u've gotta blend in with the rest of the band... u've gotta think ahead... u've gotta pay attention to what is being spoken by the leader... its not the typical 'i can close my eyes and focus only on God"... tt's a luxury. its always having to balance... i dun get the 'i feel so good' during the worship feeling one might experience.. so its.. 'so-so' feeling. is that anything wrong with that?
following service was a fairly long *chuckles* meeting in prep for the cambodia trip next week. still not excited. wat's wrong with me? *chuckles* maybe i just need to be there again? maybe its been too long since i was there? each time i go back, the sense of excitement decreases. it becomes a 'norm'. is there anything wrong with that too?
supposed to practise treading water with E. But meeting ended late. plus the heavy rain tt followed.
met up w sandfly much later than planned because of the heavy rain. went to support ADW for his launch of his CD at the esplanade openair theatre. music was fantastic. that boy has gotten really good musicians on his band!! if only i'm half as good. oh well... thou shall not covert. lol
bumped into my nie music frens at the esplanade. nice. :) had 'supper' w sandfly at thai express then. hmm... i realize i really like thai food!! more and more!! gosh.. but they are so spicy... :(
so wats up for the next few days? need to get visa done, hope to squeeze sometime to prac treading water, meeting more frens for dinner, watch the vcds/dvds i've accumulated, get the scuba thing SETTLED, aiya.. dun wanna tink oredi. getting confused.
*yawnz* shall go and clear more mails now... its a ... so-so day.. wats wrong w me? lol
church in the morning. worship was.. urm.. quite good i tink. i'm sometimes worshipping, sometimes 'distracted'? but den again, how does one 'define' worship while one is a musician? having to multi-task.. istn't really that easy.. hmm... i mean, u've gotta watch out for the worship leader, u've gotta watch the band... u've gotta blend in with the rest of the band... u've gotta think ahead... u've gotta pay attention to what is being spoken by the leader... its not the typical 'i can close my eyes and focus only on God"... tt's a luxury. its always having to balance... i dun get the 'i feel so good' during the worship feeling one might experience.. so its.. 'so-so' feeling. is that anything wrong with that?
following service was a fairly long *chuckles* meeting in prep for the cambodia trip next week. still not excited. wat's wrong with me? *chuckles* maybe i just need to be there again? maybe its been too long since i was there? each time i go back, the sense of excitement decreases. it becomes a 'norm'. is there anything wrong with that too?
supposed to practise treading water with E. But meeting ended late. plus the heavy rain tt followed.
met up w sandfly much later than planned because of the heavy rain. went to support ADW for his launch of his CD at the esplanade openair theatre. music was fantastic. that boy has gotten really good musicians on his band!! if only i'm half as good. oh well... thou shall not covert. lol
bumped into my nie music frens at the esplanade. nice. :) had 'supper' w sandfly at thai express then. hmm... i realize i really like thai food!! more and more!! gosh.. but they are so spicy... :(
so wats up for the next few days? need to get visa done, hope to squeeze sometime to prac treading water, meeting more frens for dinner, watch the vcds/dvds i've accumulated, get the scuba thing SETTLED, aiya.. dun wanna tink oredi. getting confused.
*yawnz* shall go and clear more mails now... its a ... so-so day.. wats wrong w me? lol
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Just came back from my first briefing in school posted to
Generally good... some new updates (some SHOCKING updates too):-
1. can ONLY wear SKIRTS!!!
Are you kidding? *sighz* Well, dun get me wrong. i like wearing skirts. but i like wearing pants too.. it reflects... mood... the kind of personality u wanna bring out to students for the day etc etc.. and pants are comfy!!! hmphz...
2. I probably have to teach ENGLISH!!
Well, see, I DUNNO HOW TO TEACH ENGLISH!!! only learnt wat verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc are in University!! Sighz.. but they say there will be schemes of work so that wldn't be that bad?
3. I'm going to teach PURE Geog.
Lotsa homework to prepare for this hols. :) But i'm not complaining. Pure geog is good... cos physical geog is good. whoever came up with the idea of elective geog... tsk tsk tsk.. how myopic.
4. my honor's supervisor Prof WPP's wife is teaching geography in the school too!! *faints*
5. think i'm gonna get real busy cos of the musical they are hving in july. might need to help out a little in the arrangement part. no experience in that.. but well.. good to try out, as long as i dun mess things up. but i dun tink i will lah, God is too big to let me mess His business. :)
Anywayz, think i shld go hunt myself some food. Hvn't makaned yet cos was rushing to school this morn. :) I'm not extremely excited but i do feel positive about this. As i was doing my run (finally!!) this morn, i had a feeling i haven't felt in a long while... getting myself in the beginning of something worthwhile.. The last i felt this way while running could be 3, or was it 4 years ago, when i was going to cambodia. It feels good... *smile*
1. can ONLY wear SKIRTS!!!
Are you kidding? *sighz* Well, dun get me wrong. i like wearing skirts. but i like wearing pants too.. it reflects... mood... the kind of personality u wanna bring out to students for the day etc etc.. and pants are comfy!!! hmphz...
2. I probably have to teach ENGLISH!!
Well, see, I DUNNO HOW TO TEACH ENGLISH!!! only learnt wat verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc are in University!! Sighz.. but they say there will be schemes of work so that wldn't be that bad?
3. I'm going to teach PURE Geog.
Lotsa homework to prepare for this hols. :) But i'm not complaining. Pure geog is good... cos physical geog is good. whoever came up with the idea of elective geog... tsk tsk tsk.. how myopic.
4. my honor's supervisor Prof WPP's wife is teaching geography in the school too!! *faints*
5. think i'm gonna get real busy cos of the musical they are hving in july. might need to help out a little in the arrangement part. no experience in that.. but well.. good to try out, as long as i dun mess things up. but i dun tink i will lah, God is too big to let me mess His business. :)
Anywayz, think i shld go hunt myself some food. Hvn't makaned yet cos was rushing to school this morn. :) I'm not extremely excited but i do feel positive about this. As i was doing my run (finally!!) this morn, i had a feeling i haven't felt in a long while... getting myself in the beginning of something worthwhile.. The last i felt this way while running could be 3, or was it 4 years ago, when i was going to cambodia. It feels good... *smile*
Thursday, May 27, 2004
keiki died....
my last entry on keiki was 'keiki and cookie made me smile'.... but now....
at the same time as i'm doing this entry, my student just told me she failed her geography. feeling confused as to how i should feel... tink abt my favorite keiki or console my student. anywayz, things are going on quite well for the moment. had a good rest in jakarta... thankfully my heart matters are really quite settled by the grace of God.. but just when i'm happy, came back home wanting to write a happy entry, my baby died.
keiki... i wanted to write about my two babies.. about how their personalities are so different.. so adorable.. neva got round to doing it.. and now... alittle too late... but keiki.. so active, a little like me... whenever it can climb, it will climb. it will try to crawl to the highest height available, be it the stalk of the kangkong, or watever... it is always so active, constantly on the move... but no more shall it move. haven't playd with them since i went to jakarta on friday. thot i'll finally have the time to play with them tom. but when i took them out to clean up just now, keiki wasn't moving. i thot it was asleep. i tried to disturb it... but... the eyes remained closed... after trying for a while, i began to fear... and after a while, my fear came to pass... it is gone.... *sob* fortunately my mom happened to be beside me... she just took it and threw it away... i cldn't have done it. to her, its no point looking at it cos i'll just be more sad... but i'm still sad... :( its my baby... *sob* i should hv suspected something when i thot its shell was a little soft. but it had always been soft to begin with... could i have prevented it from dying so soon? *SIGH* now poor cookie is by herself. i dun tink i'll ever find any other terrapin like keiki. out of the four that i've owned, she's my favorite. but she's with me the shortest too.... :( i'm a terrible caretaker...
think i'll postpone some other things i wanna talk about. they are good stuff.. but can't tink of them for the moment...
at the same time as i'm doing this entry, my student just told me she failed her geography. feeling confused as to how i should feel... tink abt my favorite keiki or console my student. anywayz, things are going on quite well for the moment. had a good rest in jakarta... thankfully my heart matters are really quite settled by the grace of God.. but just when i'm happy, came back home wanting to write a happy entry, my baby died.
keiki... i wanted to write about my two babies.. about how their personalities are so different.. so adorable.. neva got round to doing it.. and now... alittle too late... but keiki.. so active, a little like me... whenever it can climb, it will climb. it will try to crawl to the highest height available, be it the stalk of the kangkong, or watever... it is always so active, constantly on the move... but no more shall it move. haven't playd with them since i went to jakarta on friday. thot i'll finally have the time to play with them tom. but when i took them out to clean up just now, keiki wasn't moving. i thot it was asleep. i tried to disturb it... but... the eyes remained closed... after trying for a while, i began to fear... and after a while, my fear came to pass... it is gone.... *sob* fortunately my mom happened to be beside me... she just took it and threw it away... i cldn't have done it. to her, its no point looking at it cos i'll just be more sad... but i'm still sad... :( its my baby... *sob* i should hv suspected something when i thot its shell was a little soft. but it had always been soft to begin with... could i have prevented it from dying so soon? *SIGH* now poor cookie is by herself. i dun tink i'll ever find any other terrapin like keiki. out of the four that i've owned, she's my favorite. but she's with me the shortest too.... :( i'm a terrible caretaker...
think i'll postpone some other things i wanna talk about. they are good stuff.. but can't tink of them for the moment...
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
thank you frens.... but i need to clarify....
The previous post was just a thought I have posed to myself to ponder about for the rest of the period while i'll remain nonchalant. *chuckle* see, i do not intend to remain nonchalant forever, or that'll as well mean I'm dead, esp for someone with my character. It is just a phase I'm going through, that I have to go through, so that over time, I can then slowly refocus... ... but i think God challenged me with this question myself, that do I in the first place have the right to be nonchalant? given there are so many people hurting out there, so many people needing love, needing the basics, needing... God... Further, i even have so many of you here who cares for me. Do I therefore have the right to be nonchalant? Given that, and that I've chosen to go into the 'nonchalant' mode, shldn't i try to make this phase as short as possible... therefore, how long will i remain here?
I am thankful for all your encouragements and concern, G, Js and bong. Do not be worried for me. :) The fact that i'm posting this 'clarification' perhaps shows that i'm not entirely nonchalant... but as mentioned, its a phase, i'm going through, thinking and searching (sometimes, depending on how nonchalant i'm feeling for the moment!! *chuckles*). It'll not do my God any justice given that I'm actually taking more efforts to find time to be still before Him, and yet still making so many of you worried. I guess what I'll really need now perhaps is prayers.
I will overcome, by faith. Thank you brothers and sisters in Christ. :) And even pple like LN, PW, YC. Thanks. God is good. Praise Him!! *smile*
I am thankful for all your encouragements and concern, G, Js and bong. Do not be worried for me. :) The fact that i'm posting this 'clarification' perhaps shows that i'm not entirely nonchalant... but as mentioned, its a phase, i'm going through, thinking and searching (sometimes, depending on how nonchalant i'm feeling for the moment!! *chuckles*). It'll not do my God any justice given that I'm actually taking more efforts to find time to be still before Him, and yet still making so many of you worried. I guess what I'll really need now perhaps is prayers.
I will overcome, by faith. Thank you brothers and sisters in Christ. :) And even pple like LN, PW, YC. Thanks. God is good. Praise Him!! *smile*
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Nonchalance....
A defensive mode to protect myself from further sadness and hurt....
but how long can I remain nonchalant? Do I have the right to remain nonchalant?
but how long can I remain nonchalant? Do I have the right to remain nonchalant?
Monday, May 17, 2004
getting a little bored blogging....
maybe running around too much.. but nothing too eventful. lol
today... got up early at 5am, thanks to the NTU SAF session.. ended up at tuas naval base. it was... okiez.. but the officers there are really nice, as in can really see they are trying to make all of us comfy and fairly sincere in presenting their stuff. that's... the only... good thing. the rest... boring...
went queensway w thamps to look for my 'i can eat watever i want' nike singlet... but cannot find.. :(
came back.. got more 'bad news' for the scuba diving thing.. so at the end of the day, to cut cost, change the operator.. meaning.. i seriously have to go learn to tread water oredi.. sighz*
played the piano for a while after a long time since i had the hand surgery. finally.. how long? hmm... close to a month...
oh.. one happy thing. thamps say she'll go my church tis sunday!! so excited!! but den i'll be out of town... :( nvm, next time u see me in church okiez thamps? :)
okiez.. i'm bored... i shall go and sleep.. really tired...
today... got up early at 5am, thanks to the NTU SAF session.. ended up at tuas naval base. it was... okiez.. but the officers there are really nice, as in can really see they are trying to make all of us comfy and fairly sincere in presenting their stuff. that's... the only... good thing. the rest... boring...
went queensway w thamps to look for my 'i can eat watever i want' nike singlet... but cannot find.. :(
came back.. got more 'bad news' for the scuba diving thing.. so at the end of the day, to cut cost, change the operator.. meaning.. i seriously have to go learn to tread water oredi.. sighz*
played the piano for a while after a long time since i had the hand surgery. finally.. how long? hmm... close to a month...
oh.. one happy thing. thamps say she'll go my church tis sunday!! so excited!! but den i'll be out of town... :( nvm, next time u see me in church okiez thamps? :)
okiez.. i'm bored... i shall go and sleep.. really tired...
Saturday, May 15, 2004
I Got My New Canon Ixus 430!!
Just came back from shopping for my digital camera. I FINALLY GOT IT!! cost a bomb.. but i tink it'll be worth it. :) Was deciding between a Sony and this canon. Reason, the sony is cheaper (at 3.2 Megapix vs canon with 4 megapix) and the movie function can be used to the entire card (rather than the 3 minutes limit for canon). The biggest contending reason is.... Sony has gotten like blue and red for me to choose from!!! and its not 'common' like canon. I was like so indecisive.. walking here and there between the shops that i almost killed G who went camera shopping with me!! lol... Poor gal... she said it was torture... :( but hey, i really appreciate it.. :) juz wish canon has more unique designs!!! hmph...
While deciding which camera to choose, G says that I'm an easy prey for dealers. They just need to come up with fanciful designs and I'm suckered to go for them. Well, i call this.. i go for the 'unique'.. something which reflects my style (but not necessarily better!! lol). And we also both decided that I'm an easy prey.. for people in general. guys? *chucklez* gotta do with how trusting i am... @%#&!@# oh watever...
now charging the batteries. Given how gadget-dummy I am, I seriously need to go sit down and read the manual. yes yes.. i noe.. no need to.. but its me we are talking abt... *sighz* frankly after i paid for the camera.. iwas like.. jittery like i have to handle all that buttons.. *faintz* lol...
gonna meet another fren for coffee later.. not particularly looking forward to it.. but.. nonetheless.. heh... go lor....
While deciding which camera to choose, G says that I'm an easy prey for dealers. They just need to come up with fanciful designs and I'm suckered to go for them. Well, i call this.. i go for the 'unique'.. something which reflects my style (but not necessarily better!! lol). And we also both decided that I'm an easy prey.. for people in general. guys? *chucklez* gotta do with how trusting i am... @%#&!@# oh watever...
now charging the batteries. Given how gadget-dummy I am, I seriously need to go sit down and read the manual. yes yes.. i noe.. no need to.. but its me we are talking abt... *sighz* frankly after i paid for the camera.. iwas like.. jittery like i have to handle all that buttons.. *faintz* lol...
gonna meet another fren for coffee later.. not particularly looking forward to it.. but.. nonetheless.. heh... go lor....
i thank my Father that I have many who love me....
I am going through a tough patch again... but I can take joy despite my unhappiness that He has shown Himself to be so faithful. I realize again that it is not the material things that brings me joy, it is not getting what i desire that brings me joy. They may bring me happiness... for now... but eventually... what can they bring me?
I am not saying that I'm happy now. I am not saying that things are easy just because God is here for me. What I am saying is that... I have the assurance that He loves me and hence in difficult times like this I am not alone. I have nothing to fear... the impending loss that leads to aching... I do not look forward to it... but yet it gives me peace (bittersweet) to know that my Abba Father is in control of it all. Not only that, because He loves me so dearly, He will carry me through and bring me to the best pastures, with the greenest of all green grass (sounds weird.. lol),....
Tonight even as I go through a tumultous moment in my mind and my heart, He has shown Himself faithful by bringing people around me to show their love for me... either by talking to me (about things which bore me, its my mommy!! lol)... encouraging me (thanks bong), showing me concern with daily matters (G and ADW)...
What is my point? I dunno what I'm talking about oredi. But I thank my Abba Father ... even in tough times like this... because in all things, He will work them all for the good of me (and others too!! cannot be so egocentric lol). And I hope that those reading this will be encouraged that our God is a faithful God who will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be there... good times.. bad times.. boring times...
FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1
I am not saying that I'm happy now. I am not saying that things are easy just because God is here for me. What I am saying is that... I have the assurance that He loves me and hence in difficult times like this I am not alone. I have nothing to fear... the impending loss that leads to aching... I do not look forward to it... but yet it gives me peace (bittersweet) to know that my Abba Father is in control of it all. Not only that, because He loves me so dearly, He will carry me through and bring me to the best pastures, with the greenest of all green grass (sounds weird.. lol),....
Tonight even as I go through a tumultous moment in my mind and my heart, He has shown Himself faithful by bringing people around me to show their love for me... either by talking to me (about things which bore me, its my mommy!! lol)... encouraging me (thanks bong), showing me concern with daily matters (G and ADW)...
What is my point? I dunno what I'm talking about oredi. But I thank my Abba Father ... even in tough times like this... because in all things, He will work them all for the good of me (and others too!! cannot be so egocentric lol). And I hope that those reading this will be encouraged that our God is a faithful God who will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be there... good times.. bad times.. boring times...
FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Heb 11:1
Friday, May 14, 2004
i have a nice and clean workdesk....
thanks to the advice of my another brother YC who called me out of the blue. Well, not exactly out of the blue, needed to check the status of the scuba dive trip. So anywayz, we chatted for an hour or so. Updated him with watever stories... So his advice for me to get my mind off something i shouldn't be thinking about was to clear my room... Clear my room I did. (But actually, it still requires more work!!! :P will probably continue with phase 2 of the cleaning tom to keep my mind occupied!!!) but i'm fairly satisfied with my room now...
did online research for digi cam. still pretty clueless.. just cannot rem all the details. but by hook or by crook, i must get it before i leave for jakarta next week!!
in the evening, met up with AN from my cambodia team to discuss about english teaching. only when we met up den did we realize we are SO SHORT OF INFORMATION!!! that seriously, no planning can be done at this stage!! shld i hit the panic button? *chuckles* not as yet. i'm taking things too easy now cos i'm just distracted once again. lol.. in any case, i must say it was good talking to AN. Young boy, but yet, his heart to follow and trust in God encourages me. I wonder where has my heart like that gone to. I used to be like him... but now? *weak smile*
and yes, to remind myself again:
GIRAFFES BELONG TO THE SAVANNAS WHILE PENGUINS BELONG TO THE ARTICS!!
did online research for digi cam. still pretty clueless.. just cannot rem all the details. but by hook or by crook, i must get it before i leave for jakarta next week!!
in the evening, met up with AN from my cambodia team to discuss about english teaching. only when we met up den did we realize we are SO SHORT OF INFORMATION!!! that seriously, no planning can be done at this stage!! shld i hit the panic button? *chuckles* not as yet. i'm taking things too easy now cos i'm just distracted once again. lol.. in any case, i must say it was good talking to AN. Young boy, but yet, his heart to follow and trust in God encourages me. I wonder where has my heart like that gone to. I used to be like him... but now? *weak smile*
and yes, to remind myself again:
GIRAFFES BELONG TO THE SAVANNAS WHILE PENGUINS BELONG TO THE ARTICS!!
I RESIGNED FROM CIVIL SERVICE!!!!
yeah, but am still bonded. *chuckle* Just sent in the resignation letter to MOE and signed on to SCH as an aided staff. Heard that will need to report on the 29 May at 7.30AM!!! and i'll be given my timetable and CCA!!! *jitters*
later went to JB with EC. We were both so tired. Couldn't get a cab at first. We ended up spending out time doing things we can easily do in Singapore like warming the seats in the sushi bar for over an hour and watching a movie!! Both too tired to shop. So silly, we still exchanged quite a bit of currency to spend!!! After sushi, we shopped a bit. Me bought two pairs of footwear. *proud smile* we cld have done much more!! had it not been because of our fren piglet. we decided to check out the cinema for shows before shopping in the second venue only to realize that the show TROY screens within the next ten minutes. Well, both of us were juz talking abt the show over lunch and how we wanna watch it in singapore next week. Since the timing is perfect, and its the opening (can't get tix easily in singapore) wat better time than today to watch it!! so got the tix and settled in with some chezels and murukus (no time to buy food lah). the show was good. much better than the crap i watched the last time round. altho... the violence is... sighz.. so sad... the hero Hecta in the show died... :( by the time we reach singapore, it was like ten oredi. and by the time i reach home... 11 plus. lol
I'm now having a super duper craving for Mackies' strawberry shake because BOTH the machines in TWO OF THE VENUES we visited have broken down!!! I can't believe it. *faints* super craving for strawberry shake (like the craving I had for ice kachang after three months in cambodia!!) now thirsty thirsty after cup noodles ..... bleah... lol... but i enjoyed myself today!!! :)
later went to JB with EC. We were both so tired. Couldn't get a cab at first. We ended up spending out time doing things we can easily do in Singapore like warming the seats in the sushi bar for over an hour and watching a movie!! Both too tired to shop. So silly, we still exchanged quite a bit of currency to spend!!! After sushi, we shopped a bit. Me bought two pairs of footwear. *proud smile* we cld have done much more!! had it not been because of our fren piglet. we decided to check out the cinema for shows before shopping in the second venue only to realize that the show TROY screens within the next ten minutes. Well, both of us were juz talking abt the show over lunch and how we wanna watch it in singapore next week. Since the timing is perfect, and its the opening (can't get tix easily in singapore) wat better time than today to watch it!! so got the tix and settled in with some chezels and murukus (no time to buy food lah). the show was good. much better than the crap i watched the last time round. altho... the violence is... sighz.. so sad... the hero Hecta in the show died... :( by the time we reach singapore, it was like ten oredi. and by the time i reach home... 11 plus. lol
I'm now having a super duper craving for Mackies' strawberry shake because BOTH the machines in TWO OF THE VENUES we visited have broken down!!! I can't believe it. *faints* super craving for strawberry shake (like the craving I had for ice kachang after three months in cambodia!!) now thirsty thirsty after cup noodles ..... bleah... lol... but i enjoyed myself today!!! :)
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
keiki and cookie made me smile...
yeah... one simple thing in life that made me smile.. just watching my babies eat.... munching off the leaves happily.. watching the leaves get smaller and smaller in size... *smile* haven't spend time looking at them for a while... had been too busy... usually just do my duty cleaning up their habitat.. but juz spending time watching them is good... :)
got used to waking up early in the morn such that altho i slept at 3am last nite, and only need to be up late for afternoon session today, i got up early!! and cldn't get back to sleep despite being sleepy.. hence explaining why i'm feeling really quite drowsy now. anywayz, it was to campus for a project work talk. its really boring. during the break, i found out from my frens that they will not be taking attendance.. so my happy music classmates all decided to.... like my secondary students like to use the term... charbok... ended up in JP eating... i finally garnered enough courage to go take a look at the digital cameras (cos i feel like a dummy not noeing wat to look out for).. boy they are really expensive!! need to do a little more shopping ard. but hope can get it before i leave for jakarta next week.
and with that fren.... i tink i'll like to speak to that party and clarify things.. need to give the person a fair chance to hear another point of view... but i wonder when i'll do it.... still need time off from this matter...
got used to waking up early in the morn such that altho i slept at 3am last nite, and only need to be up late for afternoon session today, i got up early!! and cldn't get back to sleep despite being sleepy.. hence explaining why i'm feeling really quite drowsy now. anywayz, it was to campus for a project work talk. its really boring. during the break, i found out from my frens that they will not be taking attendance.. so my happy music classmates all decided to.... like my secondary students like to use the term... charbok... ended up in JP eating... i finally garnered enough courage to go take a look at the digital cameras (cos i feel like a dummy not noeing wat to look out for).. boy they are really expensive!! need to do a little more shopping ard. but hope can get it before i leave for jakarta next week.
and with that fren.... i tink i'll like to speak to that party and clarify things.. need to give the person a fair chance to hear another point of view... but i wonder when i'll do it.... still need time off from this matter...
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
A friendship abused.....
Today is a sad day for me. I learnt from another friend that one of my friends have breached my trust where it comes to our relationship. I was surprised when I first heard the news, after which I felt disgust and distaste. I had invested time, love and concern, only to have the friendship abused... ... ... What should I do? I can't bring myself back to giving what I have given. To me, that is worse than what my students who wanted to give me hell had done to me. *sighz*
On the other end, met up with my old gals C and AG. Had a good dinner. Updated them with my life and the little stories attached to it. They offered their two cents worth of advice. It was good catching up. Told them abt the above incident as well. C just said that I'm too trusting. Am I too trusting? *sighz*
Spent a bomb on CDs and a choker todayz. CDs are all for people.. none for myself. But its worthwhile i hope.
On the other end, met up with my old gals C and AG. Had a good dinner. Updated them with my life and the little stories attached to it. They offered their two cents worth of advice. It was good catching up. Told them abt the above incident as well. C just said that I'm too trusting. Am I too trusting? *sighz*
Spent a bomb on CDs and a choker todayz. CDs are all for people.. none for myself. But its worthwhile i hope.
Having heard how computer-jinxed I am... my fren's advice to me....
GET A TYPEWRITER INSTEAD..... and no.... not even the powered ones... the old manual typewriters...
Monday, May 10, 2004
Finally a little good nap...
haven't been sleeping well of late. despite being tired and all, cldn't sleep well. finally got a good nap this afternoon.. had dreams.. hmm.. well i can only rem one weird dream.. but nonetheless.. it was... good sleep...
met up with my geog n music frens in ntu today. it was really good to see them again.. like a reunion.. sadly, tis is one of the last few occasions we'll see each other in school together, getting together and bitching about the inefficiencies and purpose-less courses, talks, seminars.. lol... gonna miss them.. but i have to keep reminding myself even as i'm enjoying their company that.. that's life.. people come and go.. the most impt thing is to make the full use of the time / seasons that we get to spend together... juz like years ago.. i was in cambodia.. i remembered my other brother and sister in Christ was in Canada (and now they have a baby!!!) we all spent happy and fruitful moments together.. but yet.. we have to part with each other.. at least physically.. altho it feels good to remember that we are under the same sky (just like the song Somewhere out there in American Tale!!).. alright.. i digressed.. but my point is... life will move on like it or not.. thus hv to constantly learn to make the best out of watever season one is in now... i'll miss times with my classmates still...
den it was the debriefing session with my sup and other trainees tt came under his supervision.. it was.. okiez... so so...
will be going to ite dover tom for visitation.. tink i'll hit town after tt to find cds for a fren in jkt and get my mobile serviced...
i need to find my way back home to Daddy.....
met up with my geog n music frens in ntu today. it was really good to see them again.. like a reunion.. sadly, tis is one of the last few occasions we'll see each other in school together, getting together and bitching about the inefficiencies and purpose-less courses, talks, seminars.. lol... gonna miss them.. but i have to keep reminding myself even as i'm enjoying their company that.. that's life.. people come and go.. the most impt thing is to make the full use of the time / seasons that we get to spend together... juz like years ago.. i was in cambodia.. i remembered my other brother and sister in Christ was in Canada (and now they have a baby!!!) we all spent happy and fruitful moments together.. but yet.. we have to part with each other.. at least physically.. altho it feels good to remember that we are under the same sky (just like the song Somewhere out there in American Tale!!).. alright.. i digressed.. but my point is... life will move on like it or not.. thus hv to constantly learn to make the best out of watever season one is in now... i'll miss times with my classmates still...
den it was the debriefing session with my sup and other trainees tt came under his supervision.. it was.. okiez... so so...
will be going to ite dover tom for visitation.. tink i'll hit town after tt to find cds for a fren in jkt and get my mobile serviced...
i need to find my way back home to Daddy.....
Sunday, May 09, 2004
its been a frustrating day....
i waited SEVEN long hours before i finally get my broadband connection. wat exactly happened? i still hv no idea at all... was online til three plus when suddenly my connection died.. den no matter wat i did i cldn't get online still.. i tried paying my bills online using dialup (they did not send me my bill so its so not my fault!!).. but it did not work.. so i waited and waited.. til just a while a go, i called up the technical helpdesk. That guy was just like confusing me.. asking me to do this and that.. to disconnect all the other phonelines.. den troubleshoot to see whih microfilter could be giving me the prob. and if that fails, we'll have to call in a guy to come down my place and check the internal line.. i'm like?!?!?! to me first tell me wat u suspect the prob is.. in any case.. since my sis was on the fon, i decided to washup first. when i came back to try my luck.. i got the connection!! wat on earth was going on... *faints*
yeah.. and i'm miss boo boo again today... supposed to go for my nephew's full month celebration. i thot it was held at my sis's place.. and i was a little late.. well quite late.. i left my place at 2.. so oredi late.. and en route there, i was trying hard to ask all my other sisters via sms which block and unit her place is (i neva rem the nos.) finally... by the time i was on the MRT platform ready to board the train, i got an sms telling me that its not at my sis's place.. rather.. it was held at her in-law's place... well, see, her in-law's place is nowhere near an mrt station... and i dun quite noe how to get there... PLUS i was oredi late to begin w, so i got fedup and got out of the station, took a bus and headed home... man, was that a joyride around aljunied and my estate or wat? got me all dressedup for nothing.
ARGH!! wats wrong with me... is it cos i neva go to church today? *laughs* *sighz*
well, the only nicer things that can make me smile today is interacting with my students on msn. Have been doing that since friday evening after i left!! they are really fast in locating me. *chuckles* I wonder if it was strange for them to see me type in all the abbreviations and little emoticons and all.. but it was good.. i had time to talk to them as individuals, personally... and i got to noe their names finally.. i mean.. they had to describe themselves .. and i had to try to guess by asking questions.. its like playing the game "whats in the bag".. *chuckles* but thankfully, i am able to put a face to each of the names i'm talking to. Its been good.. :)
now... the heat.. or lack of air movement is killing me... keeping up all the frustrations i've felt for the day... i feel like a rotten christian now.. i dunno... haven't been doing my quiet time and all.. life goes on.. hv been running ard so much.. tinking abt so many things.. i hvn't have time to do wat is impt. and now i find it difficult to do it.. becoz life goes on as per 'normal' except more frustrating, sianz and rotten? *faints* *sighz* where shld i begin again? :(
yeah.. and i'm miss boo boo again today... supposed to go for my nephew's full month celebration. i thot it was held at my sis's place.. and i was a little late.. well quite late.. i left my place at 2.. so oredi late.. and en route there, i was trying hard to ask all my other sisters via sms which block and unit her place is (i neva rem the nos.) finally... by the time i was on the MRT platform ready to board the train, i got an sms telling me that its not at my sis's place.. rather.. it was held at her in-law's place... well, see, her in-law's place is nowhere near an mrt station... and i dun quite noe how to get there... PLUS i was oredi late to begin w, so i got fedup and got out of the station, took a bus and headed home... man, was that a joyride around aljunied and my estate or wat? got me all dressedup for nothing.
ARGH!! wats wrong with me... is it cos i neva go to church today? *laughs* *sighz*
well, the only nicer things that can make me smile today is interacting with my students on msn. Have been doing that since friday evening after i left!! they are really fast in locating me. *chuckles* I wonder if it was strange for them to see me type in all the abbreviations and little emoticons and all.. but it was good.. i had time to talk to them as individuals, personally... and i got to noe their names finally.. i mean.. they had to describe themselves .. and i had to try to guess by asking questions.. its like playing the game "whats in the bag".. *chuckles* but thankfully, i am able to put a face to each of the names i'm talking to. Its been good.. :)
now... the heat.. or lack of air movement is killing me... keeping up all the frustrations i've felt for the day... i feel like a rotten christian now.. i dunno... haven't been doing my quiet time and all.. life goes on.. hv been running ard so much.. tinking abt so many things.. i hvn't have time to do wat is impt. and now i find it difficult to do it.. becoz life goes on as per 'normal' except more frustrating, sianz and rotten? *faints* *sighz* where shld i begin again? :(
i got a new mousie....
my mouse died last nite. so i slept ultra early.. like at eight plus nine? coz got sianz.. and felt handicapped... early tis morn, travelled all the way to jurong to acer's service center.. got a new mouse... soon after i arrived home.. went to chinatown point again to collect my air tix to jakarta... upon arrival to the agency, i was informed tt the airline had cancelled my reservation!!! in any case fortunately, there were still seats on the plane.. so made another reservation, paid up, this time round, i'm definitely leaving for jakarta.
did my run... only 4km today.. had dinner with some old frens at igor's. really cool idea of combining dinner with the interactive play with a haunted theme. was bored at first cos my company.. wasn't the crazy sorta pple (who are needed to have fun there). but the music/play/musical was great... music was well chosen and crafted for the plot.. it was really cool.. the way they mixed songs from phantom of the opera, celion dion, YMCA, etc etc... den had coffee.. juz came back.. tired...
i need a break from everything still... two more weeks... to be exact.. 13 more days.... ah......
did my run... only 4km today.. had dinner with some old frens at igor's. really cool idea of combining dinner with the interactive play with a haunted theme. was bored at first cos my company.. wasn't the crazy sorta pple (who are needed to have fun there). but the music/play/musical was great... music was well chosen and crafted for the plot.. it was really cool.. the way they mixed songs from phantom of the opera, celion dion, YMCA, etc etc... den had coffee.. juz came back.. tired...
i need a break from everything still... two more weeks... to be exact.. 13 more days.... ah......
Friday, May 07, 2004
Goodbye to hardcore neighborhood schools...
for now.....
Last day in PYSS today. Next ground I'm hitting is XXX. Was just commenting to some of my friends that I'm like a nomadic teacher, moving from place to place... But its always been the more 'hardcore' neighborhood schools (HCNSs)... I am so accustomed to dealing with students in these settings... It feels strange to move out of my 'comfort zone'. All the teachers who heard where my posting is told me I'm very lucky... I think I'm blessed... But yet, there is still a sense of apprehension. Afterall, I'm so used to the ways of the HCNSs. If I can't comprehend the students' thoughts and train of logic, the least that I am able to do is anticipate their behaviors. *chuckle* Being in a completely new environment... hmmm....
Today was another crazy day. From 0945 onwards, I was just like a busy busy busy bumble bee.... zipping from class to class... Nonetheless... its a day i've experienced a myriad of emotions. Just before assembly, two reps from 303 passed me a big hand-made card with their fotos and wishes in it. I have yet to read it yet (owing to the list of tasks I have to complete today)... but... I was moved... FOr the rest of my non-teaching periods, students came and go, either doing last minute work, asking me about concepts, or just asking me if I'll be back. It felt 'good' saying that I'm not coming back here.. but at the same time.. it felt sad... especially when I look at their hopeful faces.
The last class with my 'nitemare' class was... as usual. The few 'challenging' students continued their stances. But tis time round I refused to let them disrupt the class and do their fellow classmates a disservice. So splitted them up. They slept. But well, I have to think of those who are interested but have suffered at the expense of their frens mischieve. Sometimes... one has to let go, and today, I have done that.. Not completely, for the benefit of those who deserves it more, I have to let go.... *ponders*
311 was such a sweetie. They prepared a surprise farewell for 3 of us. It was last minute according to a gal. But I thot they did well.. they put in the effort. They got our CTs to be there to hand us a super duper big card... or should i call it chart? with a little gift from perlini's, some pop music in the backgrd and a little cake from angie's. Its not so much what they got us, but the thought... I was really touched... It made me feel like all the efforts I've put in.. are really worthwhile. I'm not saying that this is the goal for doing what I've done.. but its juz when your love and efforts are reciprocated, its one of the most beautiful things... *smile*
THe last music class I had was... chaotic when I tried to get the class to sing the song in parts. They sounded horrid!! (because the boys refused to sing properly!!) But my consolation is that.. they had fun. ANd I scolded less in that class today. lol den it was the mad rush doing the markings... packing... teaching students who came over after school...
Now I'm still a little dazed by today's activities... Haven't gotten time to sit down and consolidate my thoughts and feelings yet. Its goodbye to HCNSs for now. My experience with students from MPSS and PYSS has been tough. But rewarding and good at the end of the day. I grow as a person and learn to love others more in different situations that can arise. I enjoyed the interactions (all kinds!!) with these students... Moving to students of a different profile.. and the absence of boys!! I think I'll miss these sorta students a bit.
But yet, I'm excited about going to the new school where the school adopts the same purpose as me. The frustration in teaching many a times comes not only from students, but from the school systems as well. In PL at least I am given the impression that there is a 'fit' in our purpose and philosophy. How true is this impression? We shall see....
For now, it is goodbye to HCNSs. I do not think its goodbye for good. It might be, but it may not be. Only God knows. But for now... I'm gonna miss my students.....
Last day in PYSS today. Next ground I'm hitting is XXX. Was just commenting to some of my friends that I'm like a nomadic teacher, moving from place to place... But its always been the more 'hardcore' neighborhood schools (HCNSs)... I am so accustomed to dealing with students in these settings... It feels strange to move out of my 'comfort zone'. All the teachers who heard where my posting is told me I'm very lucky... I think I'm blessed... But yet, there is still a sense of apprehension. Afterall, I'm so used to the ways of the HCNSs. If I can't comprehend the students' thoughts and train of logic, the least that I am able to do is anticipate their behaviors. *chuckle* Being in a completely new environment... hmmm....
Today was another crazy day. From 0945 onwards, I was just like a busy busy busy bumble bee.... zipping from class to class... Nonetheless... its a day i've experienced a myriad of emotions. Just before assembly, two reps from 303 passed me a big hand-made card with their fotos and wishes in it. I have yet to read it yet (owing to the list of tasks I have to complete today)... but... I was moved... FOr the rest of my non-teaching periods, students came and go, either doing last minute work, asking me about concepts, or just asking me if I'll be back. It felt 'good' saying that I'm not coming back here.. but at the same time.. it felt sad... especially when I look at their hopeful faces.
The last class with my 'nitemare' class was... as usual. The few 'challenging' students continued their stances. But tis time round I refused to let them disrupt the class and do their fellow classmates a disservice. So splitted them up. They slept. But well, I have to think of those who are interested but have suffered at the expense of their frens mischieve. Sometimes... one has to let go, and today, I have done that.. Not completely, for the benefit of those who deserves it more, I have to let go.... *ponders*
311 was such a sweetie. They prepared a surprise farewell for 3 of us. It was last minute according to a gal. But I thot they did well.. they put in the effort. They got our CTs to be there to hand us a super duper big card... or should i call it chart? with a little gift from perlini's, some pop music in the backgrd and a little cake from angie's. Its not so much what they got us, but the thought... I was really touched... It made me feel like all the efforts I've put in.. are really worthwhile. I'm not saying that this is the goal for doing what I've done.. but its juz when your love and efforts are reciprocated, its one of the most beautiful things... *smile*
THe last music class I had was... chaotic when I tried to get the class to sing the song in parts. They sounded horrid!! (because the boys refused to sing properly!!) But my consolation is that.. they had fun. ANd I scolded less in that class today. lol den it was the mad rush doing the markings... packing... teaching students who came over after school...
Now I'm still a little dazed by today's activities... Haven't gotten time to sit down and consolidate my thoughts and feelings yet. Its goodbye to HCNSs for now. My experience with students from MPSS and PYSS has been tough. But rewarding and good at the end of the day. I grow as a person and learn to love others more in different situations that can arise. I enjoyed the interactions (all kinds!!) with these students... Moving to students of a different profile.. and the absence of boys!! I think I'll miss these sorta students a bit.
But yet, I'm excited about going to the new school where the school adopts the same purpose as me. The frustration in teaching many a times comes not only from students, but from the school systems as well. In PL at least I am given the impression that there is a 'fit' in our purpose and philosophy. How true is this impression? We shall see....
For now, it is goodbye to HCNSs. I do not think its goodbye for good. It might be, but it may not be. Only God knows. But for now... I'm gonna miss my students.....
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I went running finally.....
and it got me all happy and high.... seriously.... went to run with WC yesterday evening after I decided that the drizzle was 'becoming no drizzle' afterall... so juz need to whine a little bit, and my old boy brother will oblige. lol.. poor boy. but the run at bedok reservoir was good... cos its been a long while since i did my last km. i was in such a happy mood i literally became his maid during dinner.. i'll go like... sir wan water? sir wan bread? sir wan tomato ketchup or chilli? lol... it was... SHIOK!!! *chuckle*
one good thing i'm happy abt last nite was i managed to clear the air with a fren of mind. see, things were a little complexed, at least for me, but now it is all clear. i like clarity especially in frenships... i dun like the muddy guess this guess that... its detrimental to health of frenships!! so it was a good nite...
well, almost a good night with the exception of pple who really almost spoilt my evening with regard to the open water dive course thing.. i tell u, its no easy arranging for a few pple.. sometimes u feel like pple start abusing ur service and think u are their operator.. *faint*.. harlow, serously, i'm so busy dun expect me to cater to all nitty gritties.. and nitty gritties which are not importatn!! *faint*
o hoh.... someone might be going Jakarta with me!! So happy... In a sense.. safer lah huh.. *chuckle* but good good.. :)
it seems like tho i said a few days back tt i'm gonna take a break, i'm still meeting people every single day since then!! and it seems like my schedule is still booked til next tues/wed... good gracious me.... see... i need to leave the country... juz being in singapore... cannot escape.. lol... but its all good... the meetings are all good.. :)
ritto. gotta get ready for school.... think i need to hire a truck tom to pack my things home!!! lol.. *faint*
one good thing i'm happy abt last nite was i managed to clear the air with a fren of mind. see, things were a little complexed, at least for me, but now it is all clear. i like clarity especially in frenships... i dun like the muddy guess this guess that... its detrimental to health of frenships!! so it was a good nite...
well, almost a good night with the exception of pple who really almost spoilt my evening with regard to the open water dive course thing.. i tell u, its no easy arranging for a few pple.. sometimes u feel like pple start abusing ur service and think u are their operator.. *faint*.. harlow, serously, i'm so busy dun expect me to cater to all nitty gritties.. and nitty gritties which are not importatn!! *faint*
o hoh.... someone might be going Jakarta with me!! So happy... In a sense.. safer lah huh.. *chuckle* but good good.. :)
it seems like tho i said a few days back tt i'm gonna take a break, i'm still meeting people every single day since then!! and it seems like my schedule is still booked til next tues/wed... good gracious me.... see... i need to leave the country... juz being in singapore... cannot escape.. lol... but its all good... the meetings are all good.. :)
ritto. gotta get ready for school.... think i need to hire a truck tom to pack my things home!!! lol.. *faint*
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
i think i finally taught something in music...
i always think that i'm a bad music teacher.. because seriously i dunno how to teach music... be it in my contract school or here, i suck at teaching music.. in fact, sometimes music seems to be a filler for the students and myself...
today, did the closure of the music arrangment course with 201. And somehow, finally i thot i successfully taught them something this term. I can't say the same for the other classes, since their classes are usually disrupted by other activities, plus i spend more time managing the classes than teaching.. in tis class however, they do pay attention and participate most of the time. in fact their FT told me that the class likes me and my style of teahing... mua ha ha.. let me indulge in a bit of gloating... mua ha ha... the point is today.. FINALLY i tink i taught a little something in music.. *smile*
really tiring day today. its rush rush rush.. classes and classes since i took on extra 4 periods today from other teachers to cover syllabus... preparation of my practicum file (last min notice from my sup)... reflection for the P (i completely forgot abt it!!! only did a draft in ten mins and dumped it on a dear fellow trainee to edit and do the conclusion.. lol)... it just a mad rush today. Im juz glad school is done for today.. supposed to go running w WC.. been two week.. but alas.. the rain...
now making plans to go to Jakarta in a week plus' time... i hopei 'm doing the rite thing.. :-/ a little apprehensive.. but.. :-/
tt's my boring life for now... had a lot of things on my mind... maybe its good i'm so occupied i havn't gotten time to think abt the things... abt which trip to go for... abt matters of the heart... abt wat to get for my CTs and students... abt the arrangements for the scuba dive (liaising for my frens is killing me).... maybe its a good thing my brains are juz thinking of map reading for now.. lol....
today, did the closure of the music arrangment course with 201. And somehow, finally i thot i successfully taught them something this term. I can't say the same for the other classes, since their classes are usually disrupted by other activities, plus i spend more time managing the classes than teaching.. in tis class however, they do pay attention and participate most of the time. in fact their FT told me that the class likes me and my style of teahing... mua ha ha.. let me indulge in a bit of gloating... mua ha ha... the point is today.. FINALLY i tink i taught a little something in music.. *smile*
really tiring day today. its rush rush rush.. classes and classes since i took on extra 4 periods today from other teachers to cover syllabus... preparation of my practicum file (last min notice from my sup)... reflection for the P (i completely forgot abt it!!! only did a draft in ten mins and dumped it on a dear fellow trainee to edit and do the conclusion.. lol)... it just a mad rush today. Im juz glad school is done for today.. supposed to go running w WC.. been two week.. but alas.. the rain...
now making plans to go to Jakarta in a week plus' time... i hopei 'm doing the rite thing.. :-/ a little apprehensive.. but.. :-/
tt's my boring life for now... had a lot of things on my mind... maybe its good i'm so occupied i havn't gotten time to think abt the things... abt which trip to go for... abt matters of the heart... abt wat to get for my CTs and students... abt the arrangements for the scuba dive (liaising for my frens is killing me).... maybe its a good thing my brains are juz thinking of map reading for now.. lol....
Monday, May 03, 2004
people.. people... people..
hv been meeting up w pple. had a good lunch w CHR and ADY yest, met my brother for lunch today. all the meetings were good. i enjoyed the company. ha ha... i'm making some progress in accomplishing wat i set off to do some weeks back... to meet up w my old frens.. *smile*
today my brother asked me n interesting qns. he asked me whether or not i'm a 'tensed up person' who's literally stressed and unable to relax? lol... come to tink of it... i tink its of late tt i become such a 'purpose-driven' person. life is so short... and somehow everything i do must have a purpose in it.... den again, i recalled something i told a fren 2 years ago.. that not everything happen for a purpose? lol.. is it theologically sound? hmm.... dunno... but well... one thing i realize tho.. i need a break. i need a break from students.. from church?!?! from frens... from matters of the heart... i need a CLEAN break from this place.. at least for a while... can i do that? hmm....
well, juz as i'm saying this, i'm juz tinking of the 'schedule' tom.. its running from place to place.. and den spending time w pple again... hmm... *ponders* maybe i shld try do a getaway sometime next week. anyone got cheap accomodation or air tix somewhere? lol...
hey, Js, i got bad news for u. see, i promise u i'll check w my fren rite? but den... i tink i hv to disappoint u. see.. things are slightly more complex... so.. i'm truly sorrie.
alrite back to marking. i've gotta start running boy!! two weeks of inactivity is gross!!
today my brother asked me n interesting qns. he asked me whether or not i'm a 'tensed up person' who's literally stressed and unable to relax? lol... come to tink of it... i tink its of late tt i become such a 'purpose-driven' person. life is so short... and somehow everything i do must have a purpose in it.... den again, i recalled something i told a fren 2 years ago.. that not everything happen for a purpose? lol.. is it theologically sound? hmm.... dunno... but well... one thing i realize tho.. i need a break. i need a break from students.. from church?!?! from frens... from matters of the heart... i need a CLEAN break from this place.. at least for a while... can i do that? hmm....
well, juz as i'm saying this, i'm juz tinking of the 'schedule' tom.. its running from place to place.. and den spending time w pple again... hmm... *ponders* maybe i shld try do a getaway sometime next week. anyone got cheap accomodation or air tix somewhere? lol...
hey, Js, i got bad news for u. see, i promise u i'll check w my fren rite? but den... i tink i hv to disappoint u. see.. things are slightly more complex... so.. i'm truly sorrie.
alrite back to marking. i've gotta start running boy!! two weeks of inactivity is gross!!
its a quiet morning...
i juz came down from my doing invigilation. the entire school is having its english mid-year today.... as i was coming down.. there was a strange feeling... *chuckle*.. the school is unusually quiet.. devoid of the sounds it usually contains... voices of teachers teaching... scolding.. shouting.... voices of students... sounds produced by all sorts of activities from students like tapping on the window pane etc... its a strangely quiet morning i'm not used to in this school...
early this morn.... one of my students really melted my heart. I got a little envelop sitting on my table. in it was a note from her, and a little red pen with my surname done up on it using some kind of threading.... my heart melted.... juz as i was feeling wat i felt last nite.. now... *sob*
these are the little things that makes me smile... i'm really touched and happy.... y do i allow things that not worthy to affect me so much too? i was juz talking to my brother yest. and i concluded that i have a foolish heart. so foolish that i can be a complete idiot even if i may be 'smart' enough to think and rationalize. its so sad that i allow small things to distract...
ooh!! i juz got a call from the VP from XXX. i'm confirmed joining them!!! and the VP spoke to me, asking me to join them for the SIF trip to Sarawak!! This is so exciting!! Becoz one of the things i wanna bring into the school i'll be posted to is to bring students out of Singpaore to do community service work, to see the world out there, to see others' needs and realize how blesseed we are... but now i dun have to push for it!! cos they are doing it!! YIPPEES!! Its like a dream come thro.... :) Such happines *smile*
oopps.. too excited typing now my wrist hurts... :(
early this morn.... one of my students really melted my heart. I got a little envelop sitting on my table. in it was a note from her, and a little red pen with my surname done up on it using some kind of threading.... my heart melted.... juz as i was feeling wat i felt last nite.. now... *sob*
these are the little things that makes me smile... i'm really touched and happy.... y do i allow things that not worthy to affect me so much too? i was juz talking to my brother yest. and i concluded that i have a foolish heart. so foolish that i can be a complete idiot even if i may be 'smart' enough to think and rationalize. its so sad that i allow small things to distract...
ooh!! i juz got a call from the VP from XXX. i'm confirmed joining them!!! and the VP spoke to me, asking me to join them for the SIF trip to Sarawak!! This is so exciting!! Becoz one of the things i wanna bring into the school i'll be posted to is to bring students out of Singpaore to do community service work, to see the world out there, to see others' needs and realize how blesseed we are... but now i dun have to push for it!! cos they are doing it!! YIPPEES!! Its like a dream come thro.... :) Such happines *smile*
oopps.. too excited typing now my wrist hurts... :(
Sunday, May 02, 2004
5 more school days....
and i'll kiss PYSS goodbye (unlikely that I'll be posted back, altho all things are possible)...
I'm not 'happy' or 'overjoyed' about it.. in fact... I'm a little sad... Was just marking the test of one of the classes juz now.... While writing comments on the papers, I looked at the name, remembered the things I've talked about to these students... as the faces appear in my mind, I begin to feel sad.. Its been a challenging nine weeks... But these challenges have made me think, and grow as I learn to handle people, and situations.... Chances are, I wouldn't see them again.. the smiles, the rubbish we talk about... and I can't help them with their work anymore.. Becoz I'll have to let go soon... So many things to pack up.. My physical belongings there.. really brought half my house there.. with my radio, keyboard, notebook etc etc to teach... More than that.. I have so many people to express my gratitude to, esp one of my CTs who really inspired me with her passion... And my students... would like to do something for them... but... no time!! esp with the prep of the practicum file and finishing up the heaps of marking i've accumulated because of my hand surgery...
About a month ago, I asked myself what I would have myself do to help these students in my remaining 5 weeks. Now with a week left, I still question what I can do for them... I pray that despite my failings, I have loved them... and that in some ways, God has blessed them... Life will resume as per normal after I leave. It'll be mid-year exams and a lot of them will still adopt the nonchalant attitude about their studies and lives. Then it'll be after exam programmes, hols and back to school, except with their formal teachers. I pray that God will continue to send people to love them... to show them that they have been entrusted a life each to hold and to treasure.. That they are loved and they are to love in return too... But I don't think I'll get to see it... I can only pray and hope... and trust.. that somehow... God who is so sovereign and omnipotent sees that that comes to pass....
Its a kind of relief .... but facing the new unknown again.... *smile*... can be little tiring at times... but tt's how it is.... I'm gonna miss my kids..... :(
I'm not 'happy' or 'overjoyed' about it.. in fact... I'm a little sad... Was just marking the test of one of the classes juz now.... While writing comments on the papers, I looked at the name, remembered the things I've talked about to these students... as the faces appear in my mind, I begin to feel sad.. Its been a challenging nine weeks... But these challenges have made me think, and grow as I learn to handle people, and situations.... Chances are, I wouldn't see them again.. the smiles, the rubbish we talk about... and I can't help them with their work anymore.. Becoz I'll have to let go soon... So many things to pack up.. My physical belongings there.. really brought half my house there.. with my radio, keyboard, notebook etc etc to teach... More than that.. I have so many people to express my gratitude to, esp one of my CTs who really inspired me with her passion... And my students... would like to do something for them... but... no time!! esp with the prep of the practicum file and finishing up the heaps of marking i've accumulated because of my hand surgery...
About a month ago, I asked myself what I would have myself do to help these students in my remaining 5 weeks. Now with a week left, I still question what I can do for them... I pray that despite my failings, I have loved them... and that in some ways, God has blessed them... Life will resume as per normal after I leave. It'll be mid-year exams and a lot of them will still adopt the nonchalant attitude about their studies and lives. Then it'll be after exam programmes, hols and back to school, except with their formal teachers. I pray that God will continue to send people to love them... to show them that they have been entrusted a life each to hold and to treasure.. That they are loved and they are to love in return too... But I don't think I'll get to see it... I can only pray and hope... and trust.. that somehow... God who is so sovereign and omnipotent sees that that comes to pass....
Its a kind of relief .... but facing the new unknown again.... *smile*... can be little tiring at times... but tt's how it is.... I'm gonna miss my kids..... :(
no work done....
i tried to rush out the music assignment before heading for ADN's wedding. mission failed.
went for the wedding. it was good to see old frens and youths i used to work with or 'take care' of becoming pretty and handsome young ladies and gentlemen. :) sign that age is catching up with me.
ML closure with the gals. Happy that Sats will be free henceforth... but God noes I enjoy every single session with them. Sharing was good as each of them had seen how the Lord has worked and changed them throughout their walk with Him thro ML. I'm encouraged. Also a little sad that I'm gonna miss the little sessions with my lovely and adorable gals... :(
Last min got called by ADW who got tix for the Abraham & Frens concert at the ROCK. So rushed all the way down. Walking thro the Sat evening crowd from City Hall station to the Rock in 13 minutes was no joke!!! But the music was FANTASTIC!!! Enjoyed most of it. :)
Supper w ADW n his colleague. ANW was talking a lot and sharing a lot abt wat he has learnt from New Creation this year plus. Really huge change in him!! Unfortunately, I was really tired out from the entire's day activity without a break, so was really struggling to keep up with his sharing. His sharing was good.. but I'm sure there are moments I'm gone.. and so.. cant rem wat the entire sharing was abt. but gd enough to make me wan to tink abt it when time permits.
No work done thus far this weekend. *sigh*
Suffering from my stubbornness.. typing with two hands and been playing the KB for prayer watch on thurs n today for ADN's wedding's special item. tink its time i start typing with a hand again.. *sign*
and now? i'm exhausted... Zzzzzzz......
went for the wedding. it was good to see old frens and youths i used to work with or 'take care' of becoming pretty and handsome young ladies and gentlemen. :) sign that age is catching up with me.
ML closure with the gals. Happy that Sats will be free henceforth... but God noes I enjoy every single session with them. Sharing was good as each of them had seen how the Lord has worked and changed them throughout their walk with Him thro ML. I'm encouraged. Also a little sad that I'm gonna miss the little sessions with my lovely and adorable gals... :(
Last min got called by ADW who got tix for the Abraham & Frens concert at the ROCK. So rushed all the way down. Walking thro the Sat evening crowd from City Hall station to the Rock in 13 minutes was no joke!!! But the music was FANTASTIC!!! Enjoyed most of it. :)
Supper w ADW n his colleague. ANW was talking a lot and sharing a lot abt wat he has learnt from New Creation this year plus. Really huge change in him!! Unfortunately, I was really tired out from the entire's day activity without a break, so was really struggling to keep up with his sharing. His sharing was good.. but I'm sure there are moments I'm gone.. and so.. cant rem wat the entire sharing was abt. but gd enough to make me wan to tink abt it when time permits.
No work done thus far this weekend. *sigh*
Suffering from my stubbornness.. typing with two hands and been playing the KB for prayer watch on thurs n today for ADN's wedding's special item. tink its time i start typing with a hand again.. *sign*
and now? i'm exhausted... Zzzzzzz......
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Finally... Blessed....
Finally... i bought my Blessed CD... after a long long time...
Dinner with CRN was good.. did so much catching up. After which, did a short grocery shopping trip with her.. my goodness.. it was 'interesting'.. i mean.. i cldn't imagine her buying the household items.. its CRN!! well, but its natural lah huh, our fren is married, has her own little home to take care of.. it was just interesting a sight.
Caught a midnite movie w DR. Dawn of the Dead. GOsh, the show has absolutely NO PLOT!!! simply the worst show i've watched in my entire life.. i mean, serious, the entire show is just.. sudden bursts to shock the audience, and gore... period. nothing else. no substance. no storyline. no plot. wat a waste of my time!!! Went to Velvet after the show. It was 'interesting'... how 'interesting' can my life be? *sigh*
In any case, its gonna be work work work today and tom. Well, of course gotta fit in all that with ADN's wedding and the ML. One more wedding today to attend. Increases the tally to 4 this year? or is it 5? lol...
argh... work....
Dinner with CRN was good.. did so much catching up. After which, did a short grocery shopping trip with her.. my goodness.. it was 'interesting'.. i mean.. i cldn't imagine her buying the household items.. its CRN!! well, but its natural lah huh, our fren is married, has her own little home to take care of.. it was just interesting a sight.
Caught a midnite movie w DR. Dawn of the Dead. GOsh, the show has absolutely NO PLOT!!! simply the worst show i've watched in my entire life.. i mean, serious, the entire show is just.. sudden bursts to shock the audience, and gore... period. nothing else. no substance. no storyline. no plot. wat a waste of my time!!! Went to Velvet after the show. It was 'interesting'... how 'interesting' can my life be? *sigh*
In any case, its gonna be work work work today and tom. Well, of course gotta fit in all that with ADN's wedding and the ML. One more wedding today to attend. Increases the tally to 4 this year? or is it 5? lol...
argh... work....
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