my bones still grew at my age!

I shant disclose my age here. A bitta sensitive. *heks*

People know me as this talk gal with fairly long legs. (My mom always complain that I'm disproportionate, long legs, short body, but hey, I'm not complaining. ;)) But not many people know that my legs are (WERE!) of inequal lengths.

My left leg is an inch shorter than my right. I only realize that abt a decade ago. Those era, like to wear long boot-cut jeans. After a while, on my fav jeans, I noticed, that the left bottom of the jeans is frayed, but not the right side. And this is a repeated observation for my long pants and jeans. I don't have a scientific mind. But started wondering why. So came up with 'hypothesis'. NO lah. started thinking why. So I got my mom to measure my legs and true enuff, my left leg was shorter. Perhaps that's the reason why I walk with a bounce, to compensate this.

Anywayz, I've grown 'resigned' to this status. I mean, life functions as per normal rite? Only according to my physiotherapist, I might get backaches when I grow older. SO when I read abt Mk's 'adventures' in PHP, healing the sick, backaches, growing legs, etc. I'm like "God, that's not fair. WHy to the people in PHP but not me?" Inside me, I did not dare to ask actually. I fear 'rejection'. LIke quite malu... and like... maybe I don't hv enough faith. tt sort of thing.

Yesterday, God planted Mk and HD there for a purpose. At the end of tuesdies when HD and i were leaving, we saw Mk outside the room. He's preaching next wk (but we cant make it cos of the Kalimantan trip). So I just mentioned in passing that 'hey i've got a shorter leg'. I dunno y i did that. I wanted to be made 'whole'. but same thing, there was hesitation. Tt's y i said, God placed HD there.. who encouraged me... and was with me throughout.

It did not take sweat, or shouting, or repeated prayer. Mk just uttered a prayer.. and we waited.. and waited.. the process was so slow u cant see it, unless u tape it and fast fwd it. *laughs*. But IT HAPPENED! According to Mk, it was slow because my BONES ARE ACTUALLY GROWING! no. I din feel warmth... etc.. but it was just so simple. We were commenting on how we shld hv taken a before and after pic! *laughs*

Ask and it shall be given....
If the earthly father who is not perfect can give good gifts, how much more our Heavenly Father.

Its not 'spectacular'. But having experienced His goodness so tangibly... its just so different... He gave His word that He's going to grow me... He did, literally, physically. He's also grown me so much in other sense, which I'll blog abt later. Now going to prepare to go school to settle an... not too pleasant issue. But I believe He is with me and that He will settle it for me....

Praise be to God.

Fact vs Truth

Yest's sharing during tuesdies was abt Fact vs. Truth.

In short, Fact, is something that's tangible. You don't need faith to see fact. Fact can make us fear and withdraw.

Truth, on the other hand, it requires faith. Truth centers around the Jesus and His work on the cross.

"Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, 'You are truly My disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'.

It takes revelation from God to see the truth. It also takes time to wait upon the Lord and the step of faith. Focus on Jesus, and the truth will set us free.

Of dresses....

This is a very 'shallow' entry. lol. I did a major tidying up of my wardrobe today. Simply bursting to the seams. Yet, I still do not have enuff space. After tidying up... here are my clothes....





I have two of these drawers for stuff I wear at home...





Those in the ironing basket in which I cant fit into my wardrobe...





Another drawer of tshirts...





My main wardrobe. Do not be deceived... Those hanging there are so tight its very hard to put in or take out any clothes. And those folded ones, there's another set behind those in front...





THese are the remaining I really do not noe where to place. SO they are on my piano stool...
And these don't include a bag of woolen clothing and pants i'm placing behind my bedroom door... and those church youth camp tshirts i've collected over years at G's place. If she asks me to bring them home I'm dead.

And today... went to Leez's place to discuss trip class stuff... and ended up with another bag of clothes.... OOPS....

and of dressing up....

well... its sort of the vacations... so i'm more dressed up than usual whenever i go out. and i like dressing up (including sporty attire). it makes me feel happy.

i rem when i was going out w stv, my colleauges commented that i dress up more.. i was like 'rubbish. i've always dressed up like that... u were just not conscious abt it. i dress for myself. to make myself happy'. den they thot abt it and agreed...

after clearing my wardrobe... i realize... hey! i'd better wear even more of these stuff and experiment with them.

on the way for my meeting today, i was also thinking... my bond's ending. more footloose. no idea when God is gonna say 'ur time here is up. time to go to other places (where i cant dress fancifully like here)'. it could be any time from 6 mths later. makes me tink... I'd better make use of this time left to dress up as much as i wan!!! before i dun get to!!

and yeah. i take pride in it. i hv fun w it. oh yeah... i'm tinking of wearing another long skirt as a tube dress w a belt tmrw... lol. but den again, w the new additions... hmm... maybe i shld wear the short dress over jeans... hek hek hek... y do i hv a feeling i'll be late for svs tmrw? :P

and of being seen 'dressed up'

something shallow today happened that made me happy for a while.

i was at clementi. was gonna get some flowers for a sista. ended up stuck there for a while waiting for another fren. tt's another story.

as i was walking w the nice bunch of red roses (did i ever mention tt i love frowers?? lol), suddenly a taller!! lady ran towards me from the back.

taller lady: excuse me..
tall me: yes? (suspicious, like wat do u wan?)
taller lady: i'm korean..
tall me: *tink* (ah..yah... so?)
taller lady: are you singaporean?
tall me: urm... yes...
now we are joined by a shorter lady.
shorter lady: (something like that, cannot rem details) oh... we are from korea and we just had an event that uses models. so we saw that you are very tall.. and was tinking next time when we have another event we can contact you?
tall me: i'm not that tall (in the modelling line, i'm short lor)
taller lady: how tall are you?
tall me: 1.72m
taller lady: oh.. u look tall
tall me: urm.. cos i'm wearing these *shows wedges*
taller lady: how old are you?
tall me: *revealed my age* (all women wat.. so its ok)
taller lday: you look young
tall me: THANK YOU! *grinning from ear to ear*

so anywayz, i did leave my contact. real a not i dun care. tt's just life. but it made me happier in a shallow manner for a while. lol

the last time someone appraoched me was couple of mths ago in town. was w stv then. well, but tt sort, we suspect is want you to just go, pay a sum of money for a portfolio tt sorta thing. anywayz, i din get to talk that time cos stv did all the talking. so basically he just told them we'll contact them if we wan to, leaving me to tink at the side 'hello??? she's asking me?? u neva even ask my opinion?!?!' but its ok... den i can accept it... life's like that...

the last last time.. was even further ago... was like... before i went to cambodia, so that was 1999? 2000?

well.... 'perks' of being tall...

today's entries are totally shallow and bimbotic. but its ok. doesn't hurt... one day i'll look back at these entries and laff... tt's more impt... ke ke ke....

Preparation for the trip has been painful...

literally.....

we had been meeting over the past two weekends for dance practices. Last week, we had two sessons on worship and this week, I had three sessions. One to accompany HD for the dance worship as she's missed the previous weekend, and two to learn the hip-hop piece.

For the two weeks, moving around has been a series of 'ow...'s, 'aw...s'. Sitting down... ouch... moving down the stairs/steps... yeouch.... In short, my thighs feel like a ton of lead. Ended up with bruised knees, back, and 'tail-bone'. I even had a swell at the side of my spine... Blame it on my not-so-proportionate skeletal structure.

Meanwhile, my wardrobe also suffered a casualty. My white cotton pants splitted while I was doing the hip hop practice. How pathetic. Hek.

ALl in all, it was quite 'successful', for someone like me who can't differentiate between the left and the right. Cognitively, yes. But there's just a shortage of nerves that connects this to my body. The signals just don't get sent. My instructor laughs at me, but its alright. Its all kewl.

Meanwhile, am reading the book 'The Air I Breathe' about worship. We might be working on the theme of heart of worship in one of the bible classes. We'll see....

XT's journey with Abba, Jesus, Friend

I had to prepare a testimony for my trip to Kalimantan. I've been procrastinating like crazy. Just like the work review, I don't sit down and get it down til its the night before the deadline. Or the day itself. *laughs* Kindof long. Well, we are told to prepared for 5 - 10 mins! So here it is....

Hello there. My name is Sheryl. Meaning ‘beloved’. I am going to share with you my journey with the One who calls me His beloved. Its not spectacular, but its beautiful. I will begin with the hymn titled “Blessed Assurance” that pretty much sums up the love story that I’m going to share with you.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

I grew up in a Christian family. In other words, my parents are Christians and I went to church every week without fail as a child. There, I learnt about God. I learnt about Jesus. I learnt about the bible, the stories in the bible, pretty much what you do when you come to the training center.

Jesus has been a Friend to me as early as I can remember. He sits by my bed each night, and I talk to Him. I knew He is God. And the BIGGEST and the MIGHTIEST Person in the world. I trusted Him, even when my relationship with Him was so elementary.

Two incidents as a child I remembered clearly. Once, at the age of less than 8, one of my eye started swelling. It was in the night. In those days, clinics close early. My father did not earn much. We couldn’t afford to have a house call, unless it was really serious. It could be an allergy. But as a child, I knew not what was going on, except for the discomfort, and possibility that I could go blind. Well, I was a kid! As I laid on the bed in the dark, I spoke to God. That’s called praying. So I started talking to Jesus. I told Him, God, I know You are Almighty. You are Healer. You can raise the dead. Jesus, please make my eyes recover. And made my eyes recovered He did. The swell went down and I told my parents about my prayer. Jesus, Jehovah Rapha. He showed me He is the Healer.

Another time, my mom dropped a small part of her earring just as we were leaving for a dinner. It was a very small piece and hard to locate. She quickly engaged the help of her little ones to look for it. As we searched and scrutinized the floor, I prayed to God. I said “Jesus, please open my eyes and illuminate Your light on what we are looking for”. In a while, I spotted the little piece, before my other siblings. I told my mom about it.

Some people might discount these as trivial, and of no significance. But it meant a lot to me as a child. In my faith journey, that is to continue over the years to come till today, and the days to come, till I breathe my last.

To be specific, those incidents happen even though I do not even know if I could be considered a ‘true blue saved Christian’. Being born in a Christian family, knowing the bible stories well, knowing the model answers to the ‘christian’ and biblical questions during Sunday School classes, going to church weekly, being the ‘model’ Sunday school kid, does not save me. It is having the relationship with God that matters. It is accepting Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord of my life that matters. Just calling Him Savior does not suffice. He has called us to journey with Him in an intimate relationship to know Him as our Lover, to follow Him to be like Him, to be His disciples.

I ‘formally’ raised my hands to receive Jesus as my Savior and Lord at the age of 11 in a religious class in school. I continued to seek Him as much as possible. I can’t say daily, because we all fall behind at times (but He is faithful). Nothing much has changed. God is still God. I continued to journey with Him. Served Him in church and in school. Then at the age of about 18, God revealed to me something rather suddenly. (He likes to surprise us.) It was a revelation that: God is MY God, and not MY PARENTS’ God. For many years while walking with Him, I haven’t realized that He is MY God.

What am I getting at here?

Firstly, even when we are blind and not known Him as who He really is, He still cares for us. And if we seek, we will find. If we knock, He will open. If we ask, He will add. Before I ‘formally’ acknowledged Him, when I asked sincerely, He listens.

The second one applies to those who are brought up in a Christian family. Jesus is YOUR personal God. He cannot be your parents’ God. You have to know Him for yourself. The relationship has to be unique between you and Him and no one else. When you develop this relationship, you know what? You do not know when exactly you are saved. But, you are saved. Period. Its like when you start walking in the forest in the night. Its dark. Eventually, day time comes. Still, its dark because the canopy cuts out most of the light. You do not know when daylight starts. But you know that when you get out of the forest, there will be light. (Is this confusing? Lol)

The journey does not end when you know that you are saved. The journey has just begun. What is this journey about?

This is a journey of love, of faith and of revelation.

The journey is not smooth sailing. I don’t pray to Him every day in all the days. There were days I do not read the bible. There were days when He seemed far away. He was never far. But my heart could be distracted, grown cold. I could not feel Him. I could not hear Him. In those days, it was miserable. Why? The heart knows, that I cannot live without Him. I might try. I might try to do my things, things that give me pleasure for that moment. But I was miserable because I’ve turned away from Him. The heart missed the fellowship with the One its grown to love. Not something we might be able to feel. This ‘love’. But the heart was created to love Him.

So, how does this journey work for me? The basic people always say is: set aside time to pray to Him daily; set aside time to read His word daily; set aside time to listen to Him daily. Indeed.
It’s not just setting aside time. It is also as simple as keeping your mind and heart connected to Him by talking to Him wherever, whenever, whatever.
I wake up in the morning saying ‘Good morning Daddy’, whatever mood I’m in. I talk to Him on the bus. I talk to Him while waiting for the bus, even when I’ve missed it. I talk to Him in Singapore. I talk to Him when I’m on the mountains when I went to Nepal. I tell Him, its so BEAUTIFUL! I talk to Him when I go diving in the sea. I tell Him, its so AWESOME! You are so creative. I talk to Him when I’m here with You in Kalimantan. I ask Him, what do You want me to see? I talk to Him when I need Him. Wherever, whenever, whatever.

And this journey is beautiful. Because as you embark on it, keeping your mind and heart connected to Him, and to seek Him, He will show you more and more about Himself. In the first two incidents I spoke about earlier, He showed me that He is the Healer. He showed me that He is the Helper.

Just more incidents, big and small, He reveals more of who He is personally to me.

I remember when I was in Chiangmai in Thailand. I wandered into the outskirts of the main town looking for two museums on my last day there. When it was getting to late afternoon, I had to try to get back to the main town so that I could catch my train to another city Bangkok. But I could not get any vehicle to stop for me for quite some time. It was worrying! A single young gal, out in the suburb, who cannot speak the language, the sky darkening, it was potentially worrying. There was fear in me. As I walked in the direction leading towards the main town, I prayed in my heart. I asked Him for His protection and provision of a vehicle to bring me back. In a while, I managed to hail down a little taxi-truck. The driver only knew how to get to the main town. But he did not know how to go to the hostel that I wanted to go to. But he agreed to take me. And guess what? I did not even have to bargain for a low fare. He offered me a low fare! By the grace of God, and by turning the rudimentary map in all directions, we managed to get me back in time. He is God the Protector and Jehovah Jireh, God the Provider.

Another ‘incident’. I was in a relationship earlier this year. Throughout that season, He taught me not to just put my attention on the relationship or the guy, but to keep my eyes on Him. (See, when a lot of us young people get into a relationship, we lose our focus on God). Whenever I was disappointed with things that happened, I realized, hey, with Jesus, this can never happen because He is perfect. He is Jesus, the Perfect Lover.

The most recent revelation of His attribute that He is showing me is that He is the most Creative Artist at work. When I considered the ecosystem, how He has made things move in sync., when I considered out of NOTHING, He created the earth, human, this thing we called love, that we all can’t fuly comprehend, His Plan of redemption. Who would come up with these from NOTHING? And as I sat in His presence lately a couple of times, He tells me ‘Come, My beloved. Sit beside Me here. Look, look at what I am painting…’ And I see Him coloring on the canvas… Swipes of paint.. colors… So beautiful. He showed me that He’s coloring the world He has created, He’s coloring my life, and He’s coloring the lives of all His children, meaning each one of you…

This is my journey, and my love story with my Lord Jesus. He calls us to walk in a relationship with Him. He calls us to know Him.

I am thankful and amazed of how He calls me into this journey with Him. Its not always easy.  But I guarantee, it’s the most beautiful thing that can happen, because this is what He has created us for: To journey with Him, to know Him, to love Him, and through that, glorify Him.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

All glory to Him. Amen.

sing over the nations....

I attended the worship session led by Bob Fitts yesterday, "Take My Healing to the Nations". It was fun time. The songs were so sweet and intimate. Pity I'm bad remembering melodies and lyrics. Yeah, I know. I'm a teacher, a Music teacher somemore. But I just cant't remember details. I just know that it was nice to just talk to God.

Worship is more than singing. Its a lifestyle we always say. To live a life wholly devoted to Christ. Worship, should lead to the desire to see all the nations, tribes and tongues bow before the Holy One in worship. Singing over the nations.... Exactly how? I'm not sure... SOmething to ponder about....

Meanwhile, I'm going w shrn later to shop for trackshoes and a pouch/haversack later at QW. Finally... a new pair of running shoes... *grins* Well, need to work out the testimonies by today actually.. but its just hard to get started.... argh....

new 'routine' in my life...

i've always had the routine of ironing my clothes every sat morn. its usually an 1 - 1.5hr affair. So whenever i need my clothes, i can just wear them straight from the wardrobe. in other words, i can (mostly) leave my place at a short notice when necessary.

of late, the volume of clothes in my wardrobe just keeps on increasing... (i cant help it!)... until... its too packed (reason-not-excuse: my wardrobe is really small, for a gal). Its always been packed. But of late, its so packed that, whatever clothes i hang in, just gets crumpled.

after a week of having to re-iron my clothes before i leave my place, i've decided not to iron my clothes every sat anymore. i'll just decide wat i wanna wear... iron them... and wear them there and then...

The plus is.. i've got a new iron i'm still hving the novelty of using it. plus... sat's like... more relaxed. the minus... i tend to be late for my appointments now.. *laughs* not extremely late. but not punctual. well, it takes time for adjustments!

IN any case, thats just some thing tt has changed in my daily / weekly routine. most of rthe rest, pretty stays the same..

gallavanting giraffe....

been running ard w hosts of activities, which i'm not complaining...

start from last sat. played for a wedding in church. rushed down to town to meet sis n two nephews for lunch. rushed to bishan for a talk. hung out w EC to watch stupid moving Sinking of Japan. SHe says we can teach through misconceptions... my gawd.

sun... service. den a quick lunch w P. sat in some sisters' talk @ vivocity. bought a new iron there too. reached home 12am.

mon.. invigilation. went back to sch to take guit gals. ended up w some budget mess.. sheesh...

tues... went sch stupidly. den went tuesdies @ nite. finally i get to stay late for prayer. reached home 12nish.

wed...went sch for wk review meeting. who noes, my RO was too busy, in the end neva meet. SIGH. went home w headache. rested. den went for meeting for kalimantan prep. had supper. i finally had my HOKKIEN MEE!!

Thurs... went sch... went invigilation... went town to bring my frens from Thai ard @ clarke quay.

Fri... went bouna vista for a ceremony, which neva took place cos of my booboo again. went ana's shop. hung out. lunch, shopped a bit. went back. rested a bit. went to museum w fel n her amx colleague clarke, who was a little hassle. but.. well.. lets me nice... we den went to aisha's farewell party @ her plce. was nice. lez, dav, mtt, grt, grcie, culln were tehre. heard certain things tt weren't too pleasant, but i've moved on. so its fine.

sat.. later... will be bringing kids for perf. den going to haz's plce for makan. prob hanging out w my Thai frens n EC again.

tt sums up my week... i'm tired.... SOW.... argh...