woke up from an exhausted week. ag texted me for lunch @ arab str. so thot i might as well bake for her, ana and fel when i go for jazz tonite. so baked.
went to arab str to hv a nice lunch w ag. i bought a really pretty dress! ag and ana says it was a steal at 20 bucks. but i paid almost that amount for a matching belt. LOL. so much for a steal. but i love it and look fwd to putting it on, after ana does some magic to make it fit me better.
met fel and hmd @ sentosa. fel n i went for a dip in the dirty sg waters. i cant believe i actually went into it. but nonetheless, who cares, as long as it feels good.
jazz tonite was horrid. it wasn't jazz. it was more blues and rock. they said its funk. i dun tink so. the 'lead' singer was omigosh.. in my words a tree trunk. total eyesore. i thot he was a poser. i mean, music-wise they are seriously not bad. but lack showmanship, particularly the tree trunk. i'm not sure if he tink he's cool that way... but its just hard to enjoy a performance when u look and right at centre stage is someone who cant literally MOVE to the groove.
anywayz, there's only so much blues that one can take in a day. it just sounds the same after a while (unless u hv a super zhai band). so hmd, fel n i decided to go to the musical fountain halfway thro the jazz perf. (we got inspired after we spoke to two american tourists and suggested they visited the fountain.) fel broke her slippers. so, to show wat frenship is all abt, hdm n i decided to go ard w her barefooted. so, without our slippers, we went to the carpark (i cldn't help leaping as if i was doing ballet. everytime i go barefooted, i just feel like dancing. cant help it!)
waited for the bus to sentosa. stv just arrived. but we left him @ the terrace w the kids he brought along. board the bus. an indian fatherly guy (with his family) saw us barefooted as we squeezed up the bus excitedly. i was trying to capture our feet on my camerafon. and he laffed a bit. we were happy he laffed. lightens up the mood. everyone's relaxed n happy. when we reached the musical fountain, the driver announced 'ferry terminal, musical fount...'. spontaneously, fel, hmd n myself just went 'YAY'. so the driver responded with '... fountain, YAY'. lol everyone on the bus laffed. it was nice...
like kids, we ran all the way to the fountain. it feels nice. with the breeze, nite time, open skies, stars, little lights, fountains along the way, we just ran... and laffed... ran and laffed... as if that place was our secret garden... and the musical fountain did not disappoint us. the entire mix of being barefooted, two pony tails, fantasy and magic music plot of the fountain, and the physical landscape... totally made me feel like a kid all over again!
den we squeezed on another bus and went back to siloso beach to meet stv n his kids. had to endure more of those music again. finally... we made our way out of the magic island....
BOOBOO... usual... i see one thing.. my brain thinks of another thing. i misread teh bus no. got up the wrong bus. instead of taking the highway, i ended up touring sg's town area. man..... it totally doubled the time taken to go home. but i'm grateful at least the wrong bus i took do take me somewhere near my home, rather than somewhere i'm totally lost. so it cld hv been worse. BUT... when i reached where i shld alight, I MISSED THE STOP. tell me abt booboo.. when it rains, it pours... and at the same time on the bus, my mom called and we had a sort of 'argument' which left me just frustrated. anywayz, i decided to walk home from the wrong busstop. it was a about 25 mins walk.. but i did it nonetheless. ( i just walked from geylang to stadium waterfront yest cos i lost my way again. wats wrong w me).
so now i'm home... tired... tired from chilling.. gd gracious.. but i'm happy i had a day off... before... AH HEK HEK HEK.. dun wanna tink....
Saturday, July 29, 2006
princess of a magical island...
"barefooted, we roamed our little island, venturing into the little discovered nooks and corners. the sensations from the different textures of the ground makes me start going into hops, twists and turns, prancing and dancing ard like a ballerina. we took the bus, filled with people from different walks of life, and brought some cheer to them with our own from the sense of being free to express ourselves. that, brought a smile to myself everytime i tink of the smiles we brought. we arrived at a place where i recall, yet unfamiliar from distance in time. it was quiet. it was grand with carefully crafted symmetry, pillars and fountains. we ran, and ran, towards the unseen ahead, which we knew promises us more magic. running fwd and upwards in the cool, with darkness interspersed with beautifully-liting, we reached where we noe we will gasp with more wonder. the swaying strings of water dancing to the beat of the music, fireballs hurled into the sky, and the colors of a fantasy island, i found myself truly feeling like a princess of a magical island..."
Friday, July 28, 2006
YOYO
1. emotional yoyo
taking my form class is liken playing with the emotional yoyo. one day they are up, next day they are down. being complete human, i cant say i'm not affected by their mood swings. stepping into class n u can sense the 'qi'. the last i wrote abt my gals, they encourage me. since then, major downswings hv occurred, completely draining me of my emotions and energy. each time one hits me like this morn, i am so reminded that i have to be strong within, if not, i cannot help them. in their instability, they require stability and i hv to be one of those. of course, i am reminded too that this strength and peace can only come from Him.
2. mental yoyo
work is just so.... multi-faceted. it is so totally true that there's not one day in a teacher's life that is boring. Within a split second (ok, that's exagerating), within mins, at the 'call of the bell', 'call of the student', 'call from the office', etc. etc., suddenly you change your role completely., have to switch one's brains from one mode to another. Just today, i juggled between marking for a couple of mins, dealing with a discipline case, running the concert rehearsal, counselling, teaching geog, teaching music, tackling colleagues and a DEMANDING instructor.... that doesn't include having to draw from scratch a stage layout, take the contractor's measuring tape and measuring out the school hall, and directing gals to tape out an imagery stage on the floor yest. doesn't include being the 'judge' in auditions for dsa i was like informed real last min. and the list goes on. in a snap of one's fingers, you just hv to change ur mode. sometimes it works. sometimes, it still doesn't work.
3. personality yoyo
ok... i tink i'm a super candid person. a 'real' person. tt's something i pride myself in. tho... i tink sometimes i do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut and hold back some of my outbursts of emotions and actions. BUT... in sch, i can suddenly become a task-oriented person. i'm a v pple-person. hate taking charge. hate running stuff. but if i hv to do it, i realized i 'yoyo' to become this authoritative person. totally drains me out. but yeah.... tt's wat happens in sch... tt's wat happened today. can u imagine me trying to organize a bunch of over 200 kids today and tackle a DEMANDING instructor? sometimes u just gotta be mean.
just totally exhasuted.... waiting for sept to come... no. just waiting for the next two weeks or so to pass.
i hope the wound on my knee doesn't leave a scar... eeks....
lakeside house does not hv the most original plot, but nice nonetheless....
i must watch my choc. intake.
i tink chloe's great. santino should be voted out.
yoyo...
taking my form class is liken playing with the emotional yoyo. one day they are up, next day they are down. being complete human, i cant say i'm not affected by their mood swings. stepping into class n u can sense the 'qi'. the last i wrote abt my gals, they encourage me. since then, major downswings hv occurred, completely draining me of my emotions and energy. each time one hits me like this morn, i am so reminded that i have to be strong within, if not, i cannot help them. in their instability, they require stability and i hv to be one of those. of course, i am reminded too that this strength and peace can only come from Him.
2. mental yoyo
work is just so.... multi-faceted. it is so totally true that there's not one day in a teacher's life that is boring. Within a split second (ok, that's exagerating), within mins, at the 'call of the bell', 'call of the student', 'call from the office', etc. etc., suddenly you change your role completely., have to switch one's brains from one mode to another. Just today, i juggled between marking for a couple of mins, dealing with a discipline case, running the concert rehearsal, counselling, teaching geog, teaching music, tackling colleagues and a DEMANDING instructor.... that doesn't include having to draw from scratch a stage layout, take the contractor's measuring tape and measuring out the school hall, and directing gals to tape out an imagery stage on the floor yest. doesn't include being the 'judge' in auditions for dsa i was like informed real last min. and the list goes on. in a snap of one's fingers, you just hv to change ur mode. sometimes it works. sometimes, it still doesn't work.
3. personality yoyo
ok... i tink i'm a super candid person. a 'real' person. tt's something i pride myself in. tho... i tink sometimes i do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut and hold back some of my outbursts of emotions and actions. BUT... in sch, i can suddenly become a task-oriented person. i'm a v pple-person. hate taking charge. hate running stuff. but if i hv to do it, i realized i 'yoyo' to become this authoritative person. totally drains me out. but yeah.... tt's wat happens in sch... tt's wat happened today. can u imagine me trying to organize a bunch of over 200 kids today and tackle a DEMANDING instructor? sometimes u just gotta be mean.
just totally exhasuted.... waiting for sept to come... no. just waiting for the next two weeks or so to pass.
i hope the wound on my knee doesn't leave a scar... eeks....
lakeside house does not hv the most original plot, but nice nonetheless....
i must watch my choc. intake.
i tink chloe's great. santino should be voted out.
yoyo...
Monday, July 17, 2006
another tsunami....
it just neva ends does it....
in any case, wats been happening tt i can rem offhand....
ok... there's js's bday party @ mos... like 2 sats ago? had to wear pink.... put in so much effort to get pink stuff... onli to be greeted by a 'marginal pass'. wah rau... but on the whole, i had some fun. sandra was so sweet to accompny me... ended up @ her place to watch soccer. ok.. tt was the plan.. but we ended up sleeping during halftime (and the action only began the 2nd half.. darn)... had a nice chat b4 i went to church the next morn... yeah i managed to wakie for church... but nice chat...
spent my last weekend totally sick. sick starting fri morn. condition aggravated in the pm. by the time i got home from work @ 7pm, i was so down i was in bed by 7.30. hopeful me stil hope to recover by 9.30pm to get up to go for churhc's overnite prayer watch. of course cldn't get up lah. but had to drag myself up @ 6am the next morn to bring my kids for CIP. once they set up their stalls, settled in properly, i went home man... slept again... or TRIED to. strangely, tired as one may be, its difficult to sleep. managed to recover well enuff for jazz by the beach in the evening w mlvn. the rest of the gang all played me out... sighz...
church on sun was led by the youth. must say i'm impressed... they really hv the heart of worship. awesome. but to stay on for the 3rd service was too challenging for me. i was just exhasuted, despite all the sleep i've been getting over the previoius two days. and i wanted to recover properly before week starts... so went home... but somehow got lured to watch pirateds of the carribean after i saw the making of the movie on tv. so got stv to go watch the show w me. its simply hilarious... but while watching the show, engrossed in the fairytale world with adventures, white sand, emerald waters, highlands, waterfalls... etc, i recalled that in less than 12 hours i'll be in school.. OMIGOSH... two worlds apart...
nv has been trying to get the oldies from church youth to meet up @ our old hangout CC. looking fwd to it, tt's IF we can actually all make it at the same time... seems like a challange now... speaking of which, wed prac with some of the oldies was great... there was adr, KY, NV... really like back to the old days.. i see the pwpt presenation by the FL on sun, reminds me of wat we've gone thro in the past... seriously... i cant help *wow*ing at how much energy we used to hv... wat the kids hv now... awesome power man.... now... ah ha h aha.... once i dun hv enuff sleep... i'm down... sighz....
alrite... jsut some random thots and anyhow typing... because.. i dunno wat i'm tinking anymore..
anywayz, jazz by the beach again this sat. band: walking on waters.... who's gonna b there?
in any case, wats been happening tt i can rem offhand....
ok... there's js's bday party @ mos... like 2 sats ago? had to wear pink.... put in so much effort to get pink stuff... onli to be greeted by a 'marginal pass'. wah rau... but on the whole, i had some fun. sandra was so sweet to accompny me... ended up @ her place to watch soccer. ok.. tt was the plan.. but we ended up sleeping during halftime (and the action only began the 2nd half.. darn)... had a nice chat b4 i went to church the next morn... yeah i managed to wakie for church... but nice chat...
spent my last weekend totally sick. sick starting fri morn. condition aggravated in the pm. by the time i got home from work @ 7pm, i was so down i was in bed by 7.30. hopeful me stil hope to recover by 9.30pm to get up to go for churhc's overnite prayer watch. of course cldn't get up lah. but had to drag myself up @ 6am the next morn to bring my kids for CIP. once they set up their stalls, settled in properly, i went home man... slept again... or TRIED to. strangely, tired as one may be, its difficult to sleep. managed to recover well enuff for jazz by the beach in the evening w mlvn. the rest of the gang all played me out... sighz...
church on sun was led by the youth. must say i'm impressed... they really hv the heart of worship. awesome. but to stay on for the 3rd service was too challenging for me. i was just exhasuted, despite all the sleep i've been getting over the previoius two days. and i wanted to recover properly before week starts... so went home... but somehow got lured to watch pirateds of the carribean after i saw the making of the movie on tv. so got stv to go watch the show w me. its simply hilarious... but while watching the show, engrossed in the fairytale world with adventures, white sand, emerald waters, highlands, waterfalls... etc, i recalled that in less than 12 hours i'll be in school.. OMIGOSH... two worlds apart...
nv has been trying to get the oldies from church youth to meet up @ our old hangout CC. looking fwd to it, tt's IF we can actually all make it at the same time... seems like a challange now... speaking of which, wed prac with some of the oldies was great... there was adr, KY, NV... really like back to the old days.. i see the pwpt presenation by the FL on sun, reminds me of wat we've gone thro in the past... seriously... i cant help *wow*ing at how much energy we used to hv... wat the kids hv now... awesome power man.... now... ah ha h aha.... once i dun hv enuff sleep... i'm down... sighz....
alrite... jsut some random thots and anyhow typing... because.. i dunno wat i'm tinking anymore..
anywayz, jazz by the beach again this sat. band: walking on waters.... who's gonna b there?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
He can use my boo boo....
Its a crazy thing... but I did it anyway.
I just left tuesdies earlier at 1030pm so i can come home early to sleep. but ALAS! no cab! they are all on call. I thot soccer season was over, so i shldn't hv a prob getting a cab.. but no... soccer season is over, cab fares have been raised, i still cant get a cab. i was walking ard al the junections and different sides of the road.. man...
so... den later there was two angmos in front of me walking... they den crossed over to the other side of the road. and they managed to get a cab! but see.. the cab stopped.. and they walked away... the cab moved away and stopped. so i thot they din wan the cab anymore.... so i ran across the road, (dun care of how i look or cars anymore, i just wanted to get home.) got in the cab and told the driver where to head. cab driver turned back and said that angmo is taking the cab. den the door opened and the angmo was like... i'm still taking this cab.. i was like... OOPS... so i got out of cab and apologized and explained i thot they were leaving. he said he was saying bye to his fren and signaled the cab to wait. cab moved fwd cos he was at some road junection or watever...
but the angmo was realy a gentleman i must say. he asked me where i was heading and since both of us were heading east, we shared the cab, and i'll drop off first. there was awkward silence @ first. so i spoke to the driver and asked abt how getting cabs at that time would usually b like to gauge better for next time. cab driver was nice and started talking to me. it wasn't long before the angmo joined in the conversation of how it was tough getting cabs, and how according to the driver,some pple try to cheat the cab drivers on call. angmo even told us wat he did during the soccer finals. he cldn't get a cab for over an hour. in the end he stopped one on call and offered extra ten bucks. the cab driver accepted and called his regular to say he'll be 20 mins late... lol angmo claims he felt bad.. but hey.. more htan an hour of waiting?
anywayz, that ws that. paid for my cab after a messy discussion w the cab driver and angmo how we shld split tis. angmo offered to pay.. but i rejected because he oredi did me a favor. so anywayz... it was kindof crazy... but hey... i tink if everyone were nicer in life, society would be a better place.
anywayz.... when i reached home i realized something.... it seemed like a big boo boo on my part. thanks to the graciousness of angmo.. i din hv to suffer as much. BUT i recalled.. while waiting 'hopelessly' for a cab, i prayed in my heart for a cab. it would be like 'super lucky' or a 'miracle' if there was a cab. but i prayed in my heart for a cab....
God provides in strange and unexpected manners.. the way He did this time.. and I also learnt.... that He can use my boo boo... well... i'm a boo boo queen... sometimes i fear doing big things cos i'm afraqid of screwing things up... but this was just a small reminder that Hey God can use my boo boo! how? i dunno yet.. anywayz. i goota sleep man.. laterz..
I just left tuesdies earlier at 1030pm so i can come home early to sleep. but ALAS! no cab! they are all on call. I thot soccer season was over, so i shldn't hv a prob getting a cab.. but no... soccer season is over, cab fares have been raised, i still cant get a cab. i was walking ard al the junections and different sides of the road.. man...
so... den later there was two angmos in front of me walking... they den crossed over to the other side of the road. and they managed to get a cab! but see.. the cab stopped.. and they walked away... the cab moved away and stopped. so i thot they din wan the cab anymore.... so i ran across the road, (dun care of how i look or cars anymore, i just wanted to get home.) got in the cab and told the driver where to head. cab driver turned back and said that angmo is taking the cab. den the door opened and the angmo was like... i'm still taking this cab.. i was like... OOPS... so i got out of cab and apologized and explained i thot they were leaving. he said he was saying bye to his fren and signaled the cab to wait. cab moved fwd cos he was at some road junection or watever...
but the angmo was realy a gentleman i must say. he asked me where i was heading and since both of us were heading east, we shared the cab, and i'll drop off first. there was awkward silence @ first. so i spoke to the driver and asked abt how getting cabs at that time would usually b like to gauge better for next time. cab driver was nice and started talking to me. it wasn't long before the angmo joined in the conversation of how it was tough getting cabs, and how according to the driver,some pple try to cheat the cab drivers on call. angmo even told us wat he did during the soccer finals. he cldn't get a cab for over an hour. in the end he stopped one on call and offered extra ten bucks. the cab driver accepted and called his regular to say he'll be 20 mins late... lol angmo claims he felt bad.. but hey.. more htan an hour of waiting?
anywayz, that ws that. paid for my cab after a messy discussion w the cab driver and angmo how we shld split tis. angmo offered to pay.. but i rejected because he oredi did me a favor. so anywayz... it was kindof crazy... but hey... i tink if everyone were nicer in life, society would be a better place.
anywayz.... when i reached home i realized something.... it seemed like a big boo boo on my part. thanks to the graciousness of angmo.. i din hv to suffer as much. BUT i recalled.. while waiting 'hopelessly' for a cab, i prayed in my heart for a cab. it would be like 'super lucky' or a 'miracle' if there was a cab. but i prayed in my heart for a cab....
God provides in strange and unexpected manners.. the way He did this time.. and I also learnt.... that He can use my boo boo... well... i'm a boo boo queen... sometimes i fear doing big things cos i'm afraqid of screwing things up... but this was just a small reminder that Hey God can use my boo boo! how? i dunno yet.. anywayz. i goota sleep man.. laterz..
Thursday, July 06, 2006
i feel blessed....
small things make me feel that i'm blessed...
1. i baked cookies for my class for youth day. i tink they liked it. at least they say it smells good. lol. even adr waited for me to finish CT w the rest to collec tthem from me. i'm beginning to see some pple change... not drastically... but still... just the small smiles... just saying they'll try (one or two of them do)... even when they give crap reasons when i get them to do stuff... even when talking to them seems like hitting blank walls during the MM but yet at the end, by God's grace all turned out gd for them and i felt like a proud mommy...
2. spoke to srl after CT yest. just gave her advice... based on my life experience. to see her try to internalize wat i've told her... and appreciating the advice... it makes me feel i hv a purpose in sch.... more than just paper.. awards.. paer.. event...
3. on my way back today (one of those great 'lottery' days i get to leave early), cs came and talk to me @ the busstop. its like... HUH? kids avoid us. and i hvn't taught her for 1yr. only music. her class has always been a challenge. she came and asked me y i wasn't teaching them music anymore. and i just had a simple conversation w her. but it was very very nice...
i feel so blessed because suddenly, out of the silly frenzy of school events, i find these small episodes of time with people so precious, so meaningful. THey may not be long. They may not be life changing. THey may not be huge. but they meant something. these things make me find joy in my job... thank you Jesus.
have been so busy running all over in life. i'm talking abt more than just work. i am learning... to be myself again... to be who i was... when people mattered a lot more to me... when i was sure of myself... when i used to noe my gifts and strengths... when i knew wat my focus was... except i cant be myself totally the way i was in the past. like pple do change... so... finding myself in the new self... watever that means... lol
1. i baked cookies for my class for youth day. i tink they liked it. at least they say it smells good. lol. even adr waited for me to finish CT w the rest to collec tthem from me. i'm beginning to see some pple change... not drastically... but still... just the small smiles... just saying they'll try (one or two of them do)... even when they give crap reasons when i get them to do stuff... even when talking to them seems like hitting blank walls during the MM but yet at the end, by God's grace all turned out gd for them and i felt like a proud mommy...
2. spoke to srl after CT yest. just gave her advice... based on my life experience. to see her try to internalize wat i've told her... and appreciating the advice... it makes me feel i hv a purpose in sch.... more than just paper.. awards.. paer.. event...
3. on my way back today (one of those great 'lottery' days i get to leave early), cs came and talk to me @ the busstop. its like... HUH? kids avoid us. and i hvn't taught her for 1yr. only music. her class has always been a challenge. she came and asked me y i wasn't teaching them music anymore. and i just had a simple conversation w her. but it was very very nice...
i feel so blessed because suddenly, out of the silly frenzy of school events, i find these small episodes of time with people so precious, so meaningful. THey may not be long. They may not be life changing. THey may not be huge. but they meant something. these things make me find joy in my job... thank you Jesus.
have been so busy running all over in life. i'm talking abt more than just work. i am learning... to be myself again... to be who i was... when people mattered a lot more to me... when i was sure of myself... when i used to noe my gifts and strengths... when i knew wat my focus was... except i cant be myself totally the way i was in the past. like pple do change... so... finding myself in the new self... watever that means... lol
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