can bear read the papers anymore

i always tell my kids to read the papers. to noe wats going on. to understd the world better rather than from the textbook.

earthquakes. tsunami. earthquakes. floods. typhoons. hurricanes. volcano eruption.

they just kept repeating themselves. death tolls rising. international aid poured in. but death tolls continue to rise. pple continue to suffer. y? poor infrastructure. bottleneck on the mgmt part.

after reading case after case just over the past 1.5 years, i cldn't bring myself to read yet another of these again this morn. without looking at the headlines, i noe wat is to be expected. death toll. homeless pple. pple with no food. aid available but inaccessible. hungry people. families torn apart due to death. can bear read anymore.

suddenly i wished i took up the medical profession and got more interested in science in my sec / college days. those days, i neva knew where my passion lies. who'd want a teacher at these scenes? like hello? teach wat teach? suddenly i wished i learnt more crisis management stuff.

den again, i do realize after my crash course reading for my rescue dive course from last night til this pm that... i cant do medical stuff. just to rem four terms on lung overexpansion.. like .. erm.. air embolism, some mediasta... some... stra... i dunno wat... and some... pnuem... something... see u get the point. but but... i make good assistant and support! ah ha! maybe i shld be a nurse!

sigh... but seriously, i wished i was there... and in the position to help. sadly.... for now, i'm just gonna stay away from the papers to a while. i hope it wldn't be too long tho.. cant avoid it forever...

remember my dear keiki

two years since the passing on of my dear keiki
the dark green cookie-sized shell
the hyperactivity and constant attempts to climb as high as possible
will be remembered
how it made me smile
i wonder if its in heaven
is there a heaven for animals?
they say animals have no spirits
hence no heaven
i don't know
but keiki has been in my life
at least it'll be in my memory
for now, til the day i lose my memories too...

of rash... passport... kim chi... rescue or not...

rash is mostly gone. not visible only. just taking care and beingmore careful over the affected area. *happy*

passport collected yest... my old trusty passport i'd been proud of has expired... its really w sadness tt i hold my new passport... gone are the precious marks of the places i've been to. no. the new passport will not be filled with the marks of special moments i had... trips to msia w my entire family (now all over the plce)... my first virgin flight.. trip to cambodia... my 3 months there... my first and subsequent dive trips... mountains of the himalayas... mountains of thailand... checkpoints by land between thailand and cambodia, vietnam and cambodia... my first backpack trip to southern thailand following the amazing race season 2's route, trips i had w my honors classmate... jb shopping trips w EC, w G, w dive gang on different occasions... first trip to developed cty aussie... learning how to bring kids to china... learning myself while spending time in khaolak some of these changed my life (diving n cambodia), others enriched my life, without those, i am not who i am now.... i'm sure the new passport will have in it new marks of adventures ahead, but i shall hold dear that old trusty one, in which, keeps the traces of my life...

kim chi... yest was the first time i tried korean food. decided to go for the seafood kimchi vermicilli. the dish looks ferociously spicy from the display pic. being the stubborn me, who just wanna try it, decided to go for it, much to the bemusement of ana. it took me an hour to eat up 2thirds of wats in the bowl. some tears and a fat tongue (i mean, it felt fat). ana was just bemused and resisting telling me 'huo gai' (u asked for it). i stubbornly finished as much as i cld. the way i look at it... at least i've tried it... i wldn't try it again. but i've got a try that's good enough (than just a mouthful). that's me. just wanna try. even if i'm suffering or incapable... stubborn... which comes to the next item: rescue dive course. to take or not to take?

this is the only weekend i can make it. if not, i tink i really shld give up oredi (it was my resolution to takeit up last yer). but suddenly i'm feeling really apprehensive because of the fact tt i'm not v strong and i cant tread water properly.... so this one's.... still a question mark.

rashed...

i'm on steroids... so i shld be able to run faster now...

lol.... aiya, went to see my skin doc for 2nd opinion lah. that doc is so famous i queued up for like more than two hours. by the time i got home (by cab ok) it was close to midnite. wat an expensive fieldtrip.

so anywayz, the amazing thing was... i dunno if it was the cream she gave me or the oral medication... the rash did not bother me anymore immediately like TODAY MORNING ONWARDS! no more sudden 'uprisings'... i'm just glad cos its like super irritating. to tink that i thot can 'act cool' and 'self-control', can tahan the itchy. crap..... my mom had to hold on to my hands to stop myself from scratching.. ah ha ha...

school has been difficult. i seriously need a break. just 3 more days.... 3 long days.. but nonetheless... 3 more days.....

who said diving is relaxing?

just had a very very exhausting trip... no thanks to the currents. *laughs*

pulau semakau, reef check. met up @ keppel marina, loaded up and we set off. it was nice on the overall. visibility was 1.5m at its best. i saw crabs, butterfly fish, 3 nudibranch (white w purple linings), 3 other usual nudibranch. Cant rem wat else i saw. The first dive was my record, 1hr 18mins. Second dive was darn tiring cos of currents. i really almost cldn't make it back to the boat... in any case, the amazing ting was.... I DIN GET THE HIGH TIDE... usually i'm like need the bathroom 40mins into the dive.. today was like.. miraculous!! but also good, if on the second dive i need to go, i'm so dead. i took at least 5 mins finning underwater against current to get back to bouy and at LEAST another 5 mins (maybe 10?) on the surface somewhat against current again to get back to the boat which was darn far away. if i kena high tide, i'd rather die... but generally nice company... away...


Passport update:
they finally called late PM on fri to say my passport appln prob got lost in the mail. i'm tinking... it took u 3 days and 2 calls? not v efficient.

Rash update:
Its ok in the day. But gets real real real itchy in the middle of last nite and now... i wonder y. even the oral medication to stop the itch took long to work. and supposed to last 24 hrs. i took one last nite @ 2am. its itching again now!

Meanwhile hving this 'arguement' w my mom. Thot finally when the smallest one is married we all can move on.. but nooooo... my mom cant. so i'm still living under her shadows... i was super super super pissed... this time w my mom... enough is enough....

itchy itchy scratchy scratchy down my backside... oh... no more calamine lotion...

i finally went to c the doc. i suppose the rash was more stubborn than i was.

in any case, it was hilarious to see how when pple talk to me, ask about my rash, i c their eyes looking @ it... and unconsciously started to scratch themselves.. REALLY! hilarious... and there are those who said it gave them the goosebumps... in any case, some simply teased me abt it....

meanwhile, i'm going diving tis sun... doing the survey dive for reefcheck. i asked the doc whether it was okiez... he gave me the 'are you sure look?' anywayz, he said it might leave behind a mark like pigmentation.. tt's a darn huge one lor... *sobs*

my passport has yet to arrive. i've called up twice... but no news... drats....

rash is spreading....

the rash has spread from forearm, to lower part of the arm. do you call that the lowarm? backarm? ah ha ha.... mom's freaking out. but i'm too darn tired to be bothered to see the doc. after all i JUST got home, and hv to do all the remarsk for the report card. do i look like i can be bothered w my hand?

But i thot rashes will just go away in a day? dunno lah... i'm dying... 8 more teaching days before term closes... argh...

meanwhile, still no news of my passport. how how? i dun wanna be grounded here in JUN!!! argh...

i look like shit today

4 days ago, i said that to AG during a meeting.

today, it was her turn to return me the 'favor'.

I looked like shit today, and I feel real real real exhausted.

In a sense, it was a tough day. Brought kids out for the first session of the field work in Labrador. Its quite a breakthrough for our dept, and its something I've always wanted to expose students to. But i ended up doing stuff I wasn't planning to do. At the same time, some silly rash on my right forearm is killing me. I've tried tiger balm, calamine lotion, slapping it, scorching it with real hot water, but its still itching like man as i'm typing away.

Came back, received disappointing news about the behavior of my class. No matter how many times i've heard things like that, i am still not immuned to feeling lousy abt it. Bad news abt one student's act i'll hv to settle tom.

Den, the parent i was supposed to meet did not show up. Much MUCH effort was put in for this meeting. seriously, isn't it taken for granted that parents love their offspring? den again, looking at abuse cases, perhaps not. i wonder, how is it some parents can die for their kids while others don't care a darn for theirs?

well, but i'm thankful for other things here and there. aom. i just thot of her, emailed her yest, but mail bounced back. today, surprisingly i saw her online! for the first timE! it was the first time she tried and i happened to be online too! really happy to chat with her. hopefull i'll get to meet her when i go to khao lak again in nov. she said she'll try to find me at nam kem... but we'll see.. but that made my tough day a little sweeter.

down the memory lane...

1 year ago on 13 May:
i was irritated w some gals from my kunming grp who made me misunderstood by the tr-i/c
i did major damage control cos i gave the wrong location for the concert i was bringing my guitar gals to

2 year ago on 12 May and 14 May:
i was still dealing with the penguin and giraffe issue
my dear keiki n cookie were still alive, and i loved watching them
i went to jb w EC, but too tired ended up watching TROY
looking for a digital camera
stuck in all the boring nie talks
sent in my resignation letter to moe n signed on as an aided staff

how time flies....

i did get to east coast afterall....

it was supposed to b a simple day: go buy keyboards for the sch in town; head back home to change; go to east coast to blade.

but no... it became an 'events'ful day.... it was fun... just that my physical body just wasn't up to it. the actual day:

went to town to find keyboards n lunch w AO.
went home. but when i just reached my mrt station, AG smsed me to say we'll go for dinner instd of blade cos its raining. i called her back, telling her I JUST CAME BACK FROM TOWN... anywayz, we decided to go for dinner in 'near town' and hang out @ the cafe just beside ana's shop!
so it was a gd chance for me to accompany ana, cos she did say she wan company in the morn, just that i cldn't fit that extra slot in in my original plan.
i RETRACED the route back to town... it was crazy... like merry-go-round... hung out w ana while working on correspondence for my keyboards, went to some shops @ arab street w her to get materials and SNACKS!
met AG in the evening for an egyptian dinner... food was great! and we roamed ard arab str. I loved that place... really make me tell myself there's no way i shld get myself stuck in sg in jun. I MUST LEAVE THE COUNTRY FOR A VACATION!
we went to the cafe... it was an interesting place. i like it. tink i'll hang out there next time... interesting decor, v. reasonable prices, cosy setup, and best, not crowded! which cafe in sg is not crowded n noisy on a weekend nite? TN joined us... hung out till 11.
time to go home. but on the way to the busstop, i managed to be 'kidnapped' by TN to watch her bf perform at east coast. that was crazy. by the time i got home.... it was wat? close to 1 am. lol

so i did get to east coast after all, just 5 hours later than earlier planned, and doing a completely different thing.

for todya, i'm just gonna chill @ home.. or ana's plc later. but i neeeeeed tooooo chiiiiiilllllllll.....

Tap Tawan (Mission Accomplished)

I just received an update post from my project manager in Thailand.

Tap Tawan, the project I was on for 3 weeks last year, has finally been completed on 27 April 2006.

Photographs of the team and all @ work brought back fond memories I could tear.

Here's the photo site of THAT particular 'house' I spent most of my time working on:
http://chaggar.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album09
I came in in the middle, after foundations have been laid. I laid bricks. Its so nice to finally see the 'almost finished' product that has been worked on since I left. *sigh* Its a happy sigh.

Meanwhile, i've started learning Thai. Like real. Only one phrase this morning "pen yang-nga barng". The intonations are driving me crazy.

After a million hassles of drafting out two detailed proposals about bringing students overseas for their CIP (Batam - which did not see the light, no one read it cos it was shelved when the 2nd opening arose); and the second (Khao Lak, in Sept - I was 'forced' to draft it out of diplomay). In any case, its pretty decided that we will be setting off in November, back to Khao Lak, Nam Kem, further from my previous area, but one of the worst hit areas. Means I can't get to catch up with my friends there. But still, I'm glad... I can be out there... doing something again...

mai-pen-rai..... mai-pen-rai....

things i think to make me feel happy...

i dunno if its my profession. people outside my profession thinks i'm quite 'negative', much as i'm irritated, suggest i go out with frens (like i do but i dun hv too much energy and time), i go on vacation (well, i wish i could), go dating (i'm like ?!? not smart... u dun go dating to feel positive), tink positive.... and the list goes on. Thank you for ur concerns, but honestly, sometimes, i hvn't said anything that means that i'm depressed, so dun just assume tt i'm negative simply because i'm facing up to facts. and the worse thing, pls stop trying to dish out with SOLUTIONS! I'm not upset with life, so get on... i tink only pple in my line really understds.... sigh...

in any case, to please these pple, yes there are things i think about that makes me smile....
1. time spent with my nephew DN. he's such a darling i'm absolutely in love with him. :) the way he calls me ahyi, and speaks to me in his strange language, run around unstably, kisses & hugs.... OMIGOSH!
2. memory images of the beautiful things i see under the sea, esp nice memories of times spent in the similans under the water and above water by the viewing point!
3. some of the rocky paths when i'm in nepal
4. times i spent in Aussie many years ago, in the cool weather, long walks the blue mountains, there was a little cute gal we met @ a playground in the blue mountains, the seafood platter, the absolutely cold cruise ride, the farnie 'face mask' session in the hotel room w G

I like to think i've spelt time doing these beautiful things.... it makes the mundane and unmeaningful more bearable.

i love the new cadbury family bar..

it comes with MORE NUTS now!!! YES!

but why do the mint version cost so much more? Easily 25% more...

perceptions after GE....

1. Opposition party did not win in my estate. Closer margin though. Strange though that, every time when the results that an opposition has won a seat, I hear cheers... the way I hear them when I was a kid when SG scored a goal against Msian States in the Malaysia Cup.

2. Media seems to give the impression that people choose the parties based on what the parties can do for the constituency or ward. But I believe its more than that, based on casual conversations with pple of sorts.

3. Following pt. 2, supporters of the opposition parties are more vocal than supporters of the main government. Or maybe, its just my circle.

3. Media seems to be on one of the party's side. Apparently, the academia they've invited for interviews also seems to be so.

4. Margins are closer for losses by the opposition wards, but wider in wards that have been won. Is this saying something? BUt if we follow what the invited interviewed academia say, i guess not.

Meanwhile, its still stability. Which is good. At the same time, think may need to get ready for more price increases.

truth undermined...

First, the Da Vinci Code.

Now, the gospel of Judas Iscariot.

What next?

.com

just wondering if it would be more apt to end our nation's official websites with a .com or .sg ....

my new shoes....

IT TORE! BROKE! I only wore it TWICE. ANd today, the second I wore it, it broke even before 7.30am!!!

in GENERAL

the rich is getting richer

the poor getting poorer

those in-between (where i belong) are just working our asses off, trying to make a 'decent living', to hit the 'minimum standard of living' as propaganded by the rich as decent.

Don't tell me education can take a person out of a poverty cycle. Perhaps, only to join the ranks of the in-between, still working off our asses.

I'm just glad its a temporal world.