am really glad I spent time to really entrust my observation to the LORD. it wasn't the perfect session. students were just being themselves, not a bit nicer... strange they dunno how to wise-up. that surprised me, but that doesn't meani expect them to behave better for my sake. in any case, i taught the way i usually would.... admonishing where neccesary, giving them a break where i deem fit... ignoring my lesson plan. maybe that did help me score some points... so the assessments....
planning - B
developing the lesson - C
Communicating - B
Managing - B
Evaluating - C
Demonstrating professional qualities - A
quite a bit of hiccups occured RIGHT BEFORE THE LESSON!!! thank God He provided just enough resources such that i can progress with the lesson. it must have been a funny sight for my sup tho, to see me running in and out like 'an ant in hot pot'. he provided me with many constructive feedback.. and that's good.. appreciated his feedback.... but guess what? HE WANS TO OBSERVIE MY MUSIC CLASS NEXT!!!! i'm dead.... soooooo deaad.. everyone noes music classes are..... one word to describe... CHAOS!!!! *faint* aiya... not gonna think abt it now.. :)
now i can start working on my lessons tom... lol.....
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
I look to the hills... where does my help come from....
my help comes from the LORD, Maker of heaven and earth.....
i cannot stay silent anymore. because i have to face whatever i have to... not because i have no choice... but because i noe this is part and parcel of what the LORD has put in my life. There will be many trials, and tests, and difficult times (or so i define them)... but that doesn't mean I'll have to fear and suffer before each one of them... because I have a God who is far greater than all these, who has already planned such that all these will be meaningful and purposeful.
i do not do my best for my nie sup. i do not perform for him. rather, i do this for God and for the students, so that they can understand... so that they can learn... why do they need to learn market gardening for? i have no idea.... but at least they can learn to appreciate what they eat around them.. and of course, all the skills involved in learning to classify and evaluate, etc... this is what i have to impart to the students, not for my sup to see how capable (or boo boo) i am, but so the students can develop... somehow...
the calm before the storm? it is still the calm.... the storm? well, whatever the storm, I know my God is walking beside me, even in the sea where waves rise, He will still hold my hand.. if only i have faith and not doubt..... if only I look to Him and not the waves..... :)
i cannot stay silent anymore. because i have to face whatever i have to... not because i have no choice... but because i noe this is part and parcel of what the LORD has put in my life. There will be many trials, and tests, and difficult times (or so i define them)... but that doesn't mean I'll have to fear and suffer before each one of them... because I have a God who is far greater than all these, who has already planned such that all these will be meaningful and purposeful.
i do not do my best for my nie sup. i do not perform for him. rather, i do this for God and for the students, so that they can understand... so that they can learn... why do they need to learn market gardening for? i have no idea.... but at least they can learn to appreciate what they eat around them.. and of course, all the skills involved in learning to classify and evaluate, etc... this is what i have to impart to the students, not for my sup to see how capable (or boo boo) i am, but so the students can develop... somehow...
the calm before the storm? it is still the calm.... the storm? well, whatever the storm, I know my God is walking beside me, even in the sea where waves rise, He will still hold my hand.. if only i have faith and not doubt..... if only I look to Him and not the waves..... :)
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
the calm before the storm........
nothing much to write because i dun wanna think about how i am feeling about the upcoming observation by my nie sup tom......
Monday, March 29, 2004
Anchor points of my life..
following up on my reflections on 27 Mar, Sat on RIDDING ON HURRICANES....
Five of my anchor points i'll like to rem when hurricanes strike... Knowing that:
1. my God is sovereign and in control of all things. After all, He created all things.
2. my God is faithful as 'testified' by all creation (including the gross sea slugs in Ubin).
3. there is a purpose for my life (and in teaching now).
4. I have a reason to smile because He is with me in all circumstances.
5. my life is not a measure/account of success and failures, but of knowing Him more with each experience.....
Five of my anchor points i'll like to rem when hurricanes strike... Knowing that:
1. my God is sovereign and in control of all things. After all, He created all things.
2. my God is faithful as 'testified' by all creation (including the gross sea slugs in Ubin).
3. there is a purpose for my life (and in teaching now).
4. I have a reason to smile because He is with me in all circumstances.
5. my life is not a measure/account of success and failures, but of knowing Him more with each experience.....
Sunday, March 28, 2004
and they shall be called.......
keiki and cookie. :)
yupz. those are the names of my terrapins. those little rascals. :) always trying to climb out. i'm a little worried though. they don't seem to be eating!! :( i hope its only temporal...
it was church... service was pretty good.. i had to learn to trust in God during worship even with what i'll be facing this coming week.. i'm learning and reminding myself to look at the hurricanes in life as something He uses to teach and train me.. afterall, teaching is a training ground for me...
on my way home, i bought SO MUCH junk food.. to accompany me while i work in the afternoon... yeah.. i noe i said i'll trust in God.. but still... when i'm stressed... i feast on junk!! lol... there were like wat? 2 big packs of sweets, 1 big pack of nuts, the biggest pack of M&Ms around... and well, i got some grapefruit and vege as well... BUT.... they are not for me.. lol...these healthy stuff are for tom's illustration of market gardening!! lol.... i'm still munching on the nuts now.. heh heh heh... *burp* oops... ha ha ha
came back and spent four full hours in front of my comp just doing my work!! at least.. i've completed 90 percent. will complete the rest later at ten.. ke ke... procrastination.. went for my run after that. completed about 5km... timing improved compared to the last round.. i tink its really the weather... :)
watched a bitta tv just now w mommy.. hvn't really watched tv in a while.. no more stamina.. the show is quite nice.. its still screening now... but just no stamina.. tho i wanna noe how the show went.. i just can't sit in front of the tv now to continue the show.. lol... i'm too addicted to my internet!! ha ha... see lah.. another thesis topic: 'The social psychology of a person in the Internet world and in the real world - one or binary ?'...
yupz. those are the names of my terrapins. those little rascals. :) always trying to climb out. i'm a little worried though. they don't seem to be eating!! :( i hope its only temporal...
it was church... service was pretty good.. i had to learn to trust in God during worship even with what i'll be facing this coming week.. i'm learning and reminding myself to look at the hurricanes in life as something He uses to teach and train me.. afterall, teaching is a training ground for me...
on my way home, i bought SO MUCH junk food.. to accompany me while i work in the afternoon... yeah.. i noe i said i'll trust in God.. but still... when i'm stressed... i feast on junk!! lol... there were like wat? 2 big packs of sweets, 1 big pack of nuts, the biggest pack of M&Ms around... and well, i got some grapefruit and vege as well... BUT.... they are not for me.. lol...these healthy stuff are for tom's illustration of market gardening!! lol.... i'm still munching on the nuts now.. heh heh heh... *burp* oops... ha ha ha
came back and spent four full hours in front of my comp just doing my work!! at least.. i've completed 90 percent. will complete the rest later at ten.. ke ke... procrastination.. went for my run after that. completed about 5km... timing improved compared to the last round.. i tink its really the weather... :)
watched a bitta tv just now w mommy.. hvn't really watched tv in a while.. no more stamina.. the show is quite nice.. its still screening now... but just no stamina.. tho i wanna noe how the show went.. i just can't sit in front of the tv now to continue the show.. lol... i'm too addicted to my internet!! ha ha... see lah.. another thesis topic: 'The social psychology of a person in the Internet world and in the real world - one or binary ?'...
Quote of the day.......
"our relationship is more than market gardening...." (Ting, 2004)
*chuckle* spoke to EC all night yesterday. really enjoyed our conversation. she's really someone God has blessed me with. :) we started off talking about market gardening... tt's been the case for the last couple of weeks.. nothing but MG. so after i a while i just told her, lets talk abt something else to catch up.. after all "our relationship is more than market gardening". lol.... we both laughed at the statement.. lol.. well, i mean it!! thank you gal. :) u mean a lot to me!! i'm still amazed by how we got to noe each other on the 23 Dec!!! lol let's hope i can stick to what we've both agreed on... i will bug you when i feel..... hmmm..... ke ke ke ke...
Friendships built online? A boon or a bane? Both I would like to say, having conversations with my frens, sharing resources, sharing out lives with how we laughed, cried, fumed, pondered that day while working at the same time, having 'meet' new pple online, with new opportunities to be a blessing (hopefully)..... but it can be the other way where... sometimes i get distracted from my work, because people mean a lot to me and i will make it a point to talk to them, to hear them, and basically to hold a decent conversation.... with the people i do not know in my 'real' life, it becomes a little more tricky... as some of these people are more ... hm.... can i say 'attention seeking'? dun understand that i'm doing my work at the same time. unfortunately, some of the 'motives' of these people arenot what i would consider the most 'ideal' for me to wanna be too frenly lest they think i'm 'leading them on'.... still, i'm not giving up on knowing new pple online, because i tink it is a channel in which i can be a blessing... somehow... and that has happened before ( i hope!!! lol) but the fact that the bane exists just means... i'll have to be more careful.... :)
if i get to do a thesis again, it'll definitely be on the online community... 'the sociology of the pseudo community on the internet".. well something along that line... *chuckle*
*chuckle* spoke to EC all night yesterday. really enjoyed our conversation. she's really someone God has blessed me with. :) we started off talking about market gardening... tt's been the case for the last couple of weeks.. nothing but MG. so after i a while i just told her, lets talk abt something else to catch up.. after all "our relationship is more than market gardening". lol.... we both laughed at the statement.. lol.. well, i mean it!! thank you gal. :) u mean a lot to me!! i'm still amazed by how we got to noe each other on the 23 Dec!!! lol let's hope i can stick to what we've both agreed on... i will bug you when i feel..... hmmm..... ke ke ke ke...
Friendships built online? A boon or a bane? Both I would like to say, having conversations with my frens, sharing resources, sharing out lives with how we laughed, cried, fumed, pondered that day while working at the same time, having 'meet' new pple online, with new opportunities to be a blessing (hopefully)..... but it can be the other way where... sometimes i get distracted from my work, because people mean a lot to me and i will make it a point to talk to them, to hear them, and basically to hold a decent conversation.... with the people i do not know in my 'real' life, it becomes a little more tricky... as some of these people are more ... hm.... can i say 'attention seeking'? dun understand that i'm doing my work at the same time. unfortunately, some of the 'motives' of these people arenot what i would consider the most 'ideal' for me to wanna be too frenly lest they think i'm 'leading them on'.... still, i'm not giving up on knowing new pple online, because i tink it is a channel in which i can be a blessing... somehow... and that has happened before ( i hope!!! lol) but the fact that the bane exists just means... i'll have to be more careful.... :)
if i get to do a thesis again, it'll definitely be on the online community... 'the sociology of the pseudo community on the internet".. well something along that line... *chuckle*
its 1am... and i'm trying to find names for my terrapins.... lol
okiez... some possible ones....
Keiki ('child' in Hawaiian)
Cookie (goes with Keiki)
Pucca (cartoon character suggested by EC)
Nani ('beautiful and pretty' in Hawaiian)
Nano (goes with Nani, suggested by EC again)
Boo boo (because i always make booboos.. sigh)
Maka ('favorite one' in Hawaiian)
Srela ('love' in khmer)
EC has just suggested Shalom... but i said no... because that's reserved for my daughter, if i have one... ha ha ha ha....
anymore suggestions? or vote? i noe who u are... my readers.... dun make me bug you all to vote.. ha ha ha ha....
Keiki ('child' in Hawaiian)
Cookie (goes with Keiki)
Pucca (cartoon character suggested by EC)
Nani ('beautiful and pretty' in Hawaiian)
Nano (goes with Nani, suggested by EC again)
Boo boo (because i always make booboos.. sigh)
Maka ('favorite one' in Hawaiian)
Srela ('love' in khmer)
EC has just suggested Shalom... but i said no... because that's reserved for my daughter, if i have one... ha ha ha ha....
anymore suggestions? or vote? i noe who u are... my readers.... dun make me bug you all to vote.. ha ha ha ha....
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Riding the hurricanes of my life....
Got up late today ... even so... i was still exhausted... napped again and got up in the afternoon.. feeling utterly depressed... aimless.... blue.... life becomes a chore.... everyday just thinking about school... about the upcoming observation in which i have nothing interesting to present.... about how i must harden my heart against a particular issue so that i can break free and continue with life rather than stay stuck in this muddy mess i've created for myself... yet the thot of having to be tough with myself on this matter kills me... y is life so difficult?
Ha ha.. below is what I've just read which hopefully can carry me through... Readers of my blog alike, either you bear with me... or I hope you be encouraged by what I have here. My personal reflections... i try to apply myself too....
Hurricane Warnings.....
Just read Heb 12:2-13. Apparently, there is a reason/purpose for whatever I'm going through in life... the point is.... I need to be able to view them in the right perspective....
1. What shld I do to avoid growing weary or losing heart in the face of personal hurricanes?
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith, ...... , consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Heb 12: 2 -3
2. I 'lose heart' because of hardships. God sometimes makes use of these hardships...
"because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.." Heb 12:6
3. God's ultimate purpose in allowing 'hurricane's in my life"
"... but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness..." Heb 12:10
4. How do I feel about these hardship?
"no discipline seems pleasant at that time, but painful..." Heb 2:11
5. But there will be benefits reaped from these....
"... it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it..." Heb 12:11
6. Whats the point of it all?
"Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees" (v12)... "fix our eyes on Jesus" (v2) because.... it is for my good and now I still dunno what it is.. but... it will be...
Now, there seems little more light shed on how my life has been? It seems 'complexified' because I allowed my emotions to whirl into the mess... if only I can look to the correct perspective... Easier said than done... but... I will have to try... My next question, what are my personal anchor points? *ponder* Need more pondering... Oh God, help me please.....
Gonna start to prepare to go for the ML youth... I'm gonna be late for the makan session. lol.. but i'd rather spend time considering here important things... if not, how am i supposed to see the gals? :)
riding the hurricanes of my life.... .... ..... hurricanes are but transient... the level of destruction depends on a person's readiness and knowledge of how to handle it.... where am i now? *ponder*
Ha ha.. below is what I've just read which hopefully can carry me through... Readers of my blog alike, either you bear with me... or I hope you be encouraged by what I have here. My personal reflections... i try to apply myself too....
Hurricane Warnings.....
Just read Heb 12:2-13. Apparently, there is a reason/purpose for whatever I'm going through in life... the point is.... I need to be able to view them in the right perspective....
1. What shld I do to avoid growing weary or losing heart in the face of personal hurricanes?
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith, ...... , consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Heb 12: 2 -3
2. I 'lose heart' because of hardships. God sometimes makes use of these hardships...
"because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.." Heb 12:6
3. God's ultimate purpose in allowing 'hurricane's in my life"
"... but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness..." Heb 12:10
4. How do I feel about these hardship?
"no discipline seems pleasant at that time, but painful..." Heb 2:11
5. But there will be benefits reaped from these....
"... it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it..." Heb 12:11
6. Whats the point of it all?
"Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees" (v12)... "fix our eyes on Jesus" (v2) because.... it is for my good and now I still dunno what it is.. but... it will be...
Now, there seems little more light shed on how my life has been? It seems 'complexified' because I allowed my emotions to whirl into the mess... if only I can look to the correct perspective... Easier said than done... but... I will have to try... My next question, what are my personal anchor points? *ponder* Need more pondering... Oh God, help me please.....
Gonna start to prepare to go for the ML youth... I'm gonna be late for the makan session. lol.. but i'd rather spend time considering here important things... if not, how am i supposed to see the gals? :)
riding the hurricanes of my life.... .... ..... hurricanes are but transient... the level of destruction depends on a person's readiness and knowledge of how to handle it.... where am i now? *ponder*
its been a long long day....
started day at 6 as per normal. got extra relief duties thanks to my CT who volunteered me for an extra one!! met a challenging kid first thing in the morn when i caught hold of him before i entered my relief class. he ran off during my music lesson the other day when i sent him out to stand cos he was very disruptive. this boy really has an attitude.. he can stand in front of me and still think that he did nothing wrong!! giving me that $%&*^ look and insisting that he doesn't know the reason why i sent him out the other day. this boy.. a really tough nut to crack. nah.. not gonna talk abt him.... sorry to say.. he's not worth upseting my day....
went to 312 to go thro their common test paper. they got on pretty well with me today, except.... still a little rebellious and mischevious... but i tink i managed to win some of the gals.. so that's not too bad. one of the boys told me outside the classroom after class that 'the class will be fine with u after a few weeks lah.......' BUT I AINT GOTTEN A FEW WEEKS!!! nonetheless.. its an improvement and i thank God for that.
Contact time til 5. hung ard bedok interchange while waiting to go for my ballet class. bought THREE dresses in a go!! i tink i must be mad...
Ballet class was exceptionally tiring today. I think tt's cos i started off tired myself. every min dragged by.. i felt like i was taking my driving lesson.. tick tock tick tock... so slow.... i was feeling so lethagic throughout the two hours... this is the last lesson of this level... i'm still considering if i shld continue next week onwards with the next level which lasts 12 weeks. Ballet will do my good i figure... all the stretching and time off to do brainless things... but its really tiring... esp having to set aside the end of a day to travel down to do it.. doesn't help.... its really quite physically demanding!!! sometimes i do dread certain sets of sequences cos they are really tough and painful!!! lol... but.. somehow.. ballet trains my discipline.. and hopefully one day helps me in my balancing!! To continue or not to continue... sigh....
After ballet, went with SJ my ballet fren to a place near mph to have a little wine and some finger-food.... its a really nice place to sit down and talk. PRetty quiet... fairly decent music.. nice ambience.. really perfect for catching up... now i've found a new haunt besides coffee club. :) We had a really nice talk... almost two hours i tink.. Was just sharing with SJ abt some of the problems or knots i'm facing or struggling in my life now... she's a really nice listener.. sigh.... but no matter how much i tell her, i'll have to face up to the problem myself and be tough to myself now so as not to suffer later... i noe that..... i'm good with rationales i think... but..... its easier said than done... *sigh*
now i'm really exhausted... physically, mentally, emotionally, and perhaps spiritually too... life isn't as simple as when i was a kid.... :) it gets more complex by the day.... or did i just 'complexify' it myself?
went to 312 to go thro their common test paper. they got on pretty well with me today, except.... still a little rebellious and mischevious... but i tink i managed to win some of the gals.. so that's not too bad. one of the boys told me outside the classroom after class that 'the class will be fine with u after a few weeks lah.......' BUT I AINT GOTTEN A FEW WEEKS!!! nonetheless.. its an improvement and i thank God for that.
Contact time til 5. hung ard bedok interchange while waiting to go for my ballet class. bought THREE dresses in a go!! i tink i must be mad...
Ballet class was exceptionally tiring today. I think tt's cos i started off tired myself. every min dragged by.. i felt like i was taking my driving lesson.. tick tock tick tock... so slow.... i was feeling so lethagic throughout the two hours... this is the last lesson of this level... i'm still considering if i shld continue next week onwards with the next level which lasts 12 weeks. Ballet will do my good i figure... all the stretching and time off to do brainless things... but its really tiring... esp having to set aside the end of a day to travel down to do it.. doesn't help.... its really quite physically demanding!!! sometimes i do dread certain sets of sequences cos they are really tough and painful!!! lol... but.. somehow.. ballet trains my discipline.. and hopefully one day helps me in my balancing!! To continue or not to continue... sigh....
After ballet, went with SJ my ballet fren to a place near mph to have a little wine and some finger-food.... its a really nice place to sit down and talk. PRetty quiet... fairly decent music.. nice ambience.. really perfect for catching up... now i've found a new haunt besides coffee club. :) We had a really nice talk... almost two hours i tink.. Was just sharing with SJ abt some of the problems or knots i'm facing or struggling in my life now... she's a really nice listener.. sigh.... but no matter how much i tell her, i'll have to face up to the problem myself and be tough to myself now so as not to suffer later... i noe that..... i'm good with rationales i think... but..... its easier said than done... *sigh*
now i'm really exhausted... physically, mentally, emotionally, and perhaps spiritually too... life isn't as simple as when i was a kid.... :) it gets more complex by the day.... or did i just 'complexify' it myself?
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Suggestions for my terrapins' names....
So far, we've got:
Terra and Pin;
Pepsi and Cola.
Well, should I say I have very 'creative' frens or what? Hey, give me something nice can? *chuckle*
Finished my run again. But this time round, much shorter, about 3.6km. Couldn't move myself today. Wonder whether its because of the weather (haven't run in higher temperatures for a while), or whether its because I did not warm up properly (but then again, I never do warm ups. lol)
I think I need more discipline. Somehow, my friends in other schools seem to be slogging harder than me. And I'm still in this stubborn mode of: I refuse to put up a show. Sigh.... Will I change my mind now that the day my supervisor is coming is drawing near? I really don't know.
It funny how my online fren could tell the difference that I was trying not to be stressed out just now. See, usually I'll be quite depressed and demoralized. But today I can actually ask him to look at the brighter side of things.. lol... its sad cos people are beginning to see a 'half-glass empty' me developing... i hope this wouldn't last.....
Supposed to meet G at Lion City Hotel to try out the Coffeehouse for dinner. But that gal, called to say she'll be late. I don't think I can 'dong' til that late. So we've decided that she'll come over my place and have my mom's curry. Yummy... I love curry. ke ke ke....
And EC, I haven't heard from you in a while. I know you will read my blog someday. :) Hope all is well with your formal observation today. Must take care okiez? If not I'll really call your place and tell your mommy!!!
I hope I can get some work done tonight... gosh.....
Terra and Pin;
Pepsi and Cola.
Well, should I say I have very 'creative' frens or what? Hey, give me something nice can? *chuckle*
Finished my run again. But this time round, much shorter, about 3.6km. Couldn't move myself today. Wonder whether its because of the weather (haven't run in higher temperatures for a while), or whether its because I did not warm up properly (but then again, I never do warm ups. lol)
I think I need more discipline. Somehow, my friends in other schools seem to be slogging harder than me. And I'm still in this stubborn mode of: I refuse to put up a show. Sigh.... Will I change my mind now that the day my supervisor is coming is drawing near? I really don't know.
It funny how my online fren could tell the difference that I was trying not to be stressed out just now. See, usually I'll be quite depressed and demoralized. But today I can actually ask him to look at the brighter side of things.. lol... its sad cos people are beginning to see a 'half-glass empty' me developing... i hope this wouldn't last.....
Supposed to meet G at Lion City Hotel to try out the Coffeehouse for dinner. But that gal, called to say she'll be late. I don't think I can 'dong' til that late. So we've decided that she'll come over my place and have my mom's curry. Yummy... I love curry. ke ke ke....
And EC, I haven't heard from you in a while. I know you will read my blog someday. :) Hope all is well with your formal observation today. Must take care okiez? If not I'll really call your place and tell your mommy!!!
I hope I can get some work done tonight... gosh.....
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
What shall I name my terrapins?
Guess what? I just got two terrapins from my brother this evening!!! I've been wanting to get them.... but jst never got down to doing it. My brother's really nice. He probably thinks I need something alive to look at and take my mind off practicum? *chuckle* When I first saw them, I was so excited and happy!! THey were so adorable!! so full of life!!! but then... after a while.. i got a bit... worried.. lol... To me, i'm like.. huh? i'm gonna take care of these two small little lives? Can I take good care of them? Sure, i chose terrapins over other pets because they are the easiest to manage, and for those who've been to my place, they noe that space is a scarcity in my home. So terrapins are perfect. But suddenly to have two tiny lives entrusted into my hands.. i went.... *shiver*... ke ke ke... Well, I noe i'm probably thinking too much into it... maybe this just reflects how self-centered and engrossed I have been with my own pathetic life that i can't bring myself to think beyond this!!! Gosh!! God have mercy on me..........
Yeah, and the question stays..... what shall i name my terrapins? *grin*
Yeah, and the question stays..... what shall i name my terrapins? *grin*
Hic Hic Hic
Its funny how even my CT knew my observation with my NIE sup is today instead of next week. *chuckle* my CT was very nice about it when I asked her when she wanted to do her first formal ob with me, so she say might as well make it today... and she was like... 'dun tink abt it.. and get ur composure rite...' when i showed her my worried look when i informed her about my NIE sup. My fellow trainee colleagues couldn't believe what i've just done.... *sigh*
Hiccups during my class where my CT is doing the observation. Can you believe it? FOUR a/c power point sockets, and according to my AVA rep of the class, none has been activated for use?!?! Gosh!!! I was in a bit of shock as I required the power supply to run my notebook... well, finally things got going when the rep went to borrow a multipurpse plug while i struggle to teach with the whiteboard initially. Resultant feedback from my CT: you move around too much when you teach, trying to set up the notebook etc.... at first i thot i messed it up, but she gave constructive feedback and i was quite relieved.... i'm not too sure what would have happened if it was my nie sup instead!!! gosh...
Had indian rojak with my frens in school today. It is rare for me to join them cos i dun usually eat in school. either too engrossed with work.. or too grossed out by the food there. *chuckle* must save money to pay the additional income tax mah... ;) actually the reason why i joined them today.. was more because i was feeling really stressed... see, when i'm stressed,... i..... just... eat without using my brains.. just like wat i did after i received my sup's call yest.... time to eat and eat.... but its nice to join them i realizre... can't imagine how they can have lunch in that canteen everyday!!!! well, den again, i'm the oddball who doesn't do that.. lol
2 1/2 weeks into the school.... and what kind of teacher have i portrayed myself to be? a smiley, can't control the class, whom i can be cheeky with and challenge, and if anything happens, she'll just shout at me CHER.... not quite something i wanted to bring myself across as... but apparently., that is the case now. let's hope this can help me build the RITE kind of rapport for the next few weeks? *fingers-crossed* meanwhile, i will have to think how to put up a show for my NIE sup... sighz...
Hiccups during my class where my CT is doing the observation. Can you believe it? FOUR a/c power point sockets, and according to my AVA rep of the class, none has been activated for use?!?! Gosh!!! I was in a bit of shock as I required the power supply to run my notebook... well, finally things got going when the rep went to borrow a multipurpse plug while i struggle to teach with the whiteboard initially. Resultant feedback from my CT: you move around too much when you teach, trying to set up the notebook etc.... at first i thot i messed it up, but she gave constructive feedback and i was quite relieved.... i'm not too sure what would have happened if it was my nie sup instead!!! gosh...
Had indian rojak with my frens in school today. It is rare for me to join them cos i dun usually eat in school. either too engrossed with work.. or too grossed out by the food there. *chuckle* must save money to pay the additional income tax mah... ;) actually the reason why i joined them today.. was more because i was feeling really stressed... see, when i'm stressed,... i..... just... eat without using my brains.. just like wat i did after i received my sup's call yest.... time to eat and eat.... but its nice to join them i realizre... can't imagine how they can have lunch in that canteen everyday!!!! well, den again, i'm the oddball who doesn't do that.. lol
2 1/2 weeks into the school.... and what kind of teacher have i portrayed myself to be? a smiley, can't control the class, whom i can be cheeky with and challenge, and if anything happens, she'll just shout at me CHER.... not quite something i wanted to bring myself across as... but apparently., that is the case now. let's hope this can help me build the RITE kind of rapport for the next few weeks? *fingers-crossed* meanwhile, i will have to think how to put up a show for my NIE sup... sighz...
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
SUPER DUPER BIG BOO BOO!!!! ARGH!!!
omigosh!!! i can't believe it... guess wat? was happy after my 5 km run.. chatting w my pastor over the msn... when... MY SUP CALLED AND SAID MY OBSERVATION IS TOM!!!!! AND I THOT IT WAS NEXT WEEK!!!! told him i'll call him back.. checked and realized it really was my mistake!!!! he was quite nice abt it.. said ws surprised he din receive my lesson plan(due 48 hrs before the observation)... so we are gonna make it next wed instead.. and he said 'its ur last chance!!!!' *faint* wats wrong w me....
the ironic part is that.. tom's lesson is the 'best' for observation... there's gonna be group discussion, powerpoint presentation, and crossword puzzle i'm gonna come up with tonight.. .. *faint*
WATS WRONG W ME?!?!?!?
the ironic part is that.. tom's lesson is the 'best' for observation... there's gonna be group discussion, powerpoint presentation, and crossword puzzle i'm gonna come up with tonight.. .. *faint*
WATS WRONG W ME?!?!?!?
cup noodles curry flavor...
yupz.. tt's wat i'm having now while typing my blog. just heard from lene today. apparently she read my blog (i wonder who told her i started blogging) and texted me about running. it is really good to hear from her again.. now that everyone's so busy with their own practicum.. anytime gal, i'm always game for a run. :) just ring me okiez? ;)
sitting so comfortably in my shorts and having some warm cup noodles. lol.. nope. i have work to do.. its just that i tink i'm developing a bad habit of working at home!!! the way i look at it.. might as well enjoy working in the comforts of my home while i can before real teaching hits.
did the first music lesson using my own plan ever. it turned out.... interesting. *chuckle* well, see, i'm so used to students coming in late, and being very very noisy, and me shouting all the time, that when today's class is fairly well-behaved, i was in a state of shock!!! lol... i almost even dismissed doing the rules and expectations of teh students part cos, they are... well-behaved i din see the need to!! anywayz, i couldn't play the original version of the "flight of the bumble bee" for the students for contrast w the maksim's version, cos apparently, the recorder cldn't read my disk... :( dunno how tom leh like that... fortunately the students were quite forgiving as they just waited for us to get the recorder fixed up. thank God.... i dunno wat to expect for the noisier classes.... see how lah. *chuckle* i hope the music arrangement will get down well with these kids.
its funny how when EL came down to look for me, she was saying that i look so busy.. just like wat GB always tell her... 'that busy lady'... *chuckle* i din noe i look so hardworking!!! ke ke ke... well, doesnt' matter. as long as i pass.. it all doesn't matter.
sigh.. the school is still imposing the additional income tax on us. how terrible. how can they force us to pay and pay, absorb and absorb for the school building fund? goodness, teachers are there to teach and develop students, not to sell fun fair tickets, failure of which we have to fork out FIFTY BUCKS!!! and that is exclusive of the compulsory tix we had to pay for on the first day of school .. for a .... ******** musicla we had to watch... do they think we are made of money? i call it additional income tax.... now that i'm reminded i've yet to file my IR8A form yet....
alrite... now that i'm happy and full..... time to resume work?? nah... lol...
sitting so comfortably in my shorts and having some warm cup noodles. lol.. nope. i have work to do.. its just that i tink i'm developing a bad habit of working at home!!! the way i look at it.. might as well enjoy working in the comforts of my home while i can before real teaching hits.
did the first music lesson using my own plan ever. it turned out.... interesting. *chuckle* well, see, i'm so used to students coming in late, and being very very noisy, and me shouting all the time, that when today's class is fairly well-behaved, i was in a state of shock!!! lol... i almost even dismissed doing the rules and expectations of teh students part cos, they are... well-behaved i din see the need to!! anywayz, i couldn't play the original version of the "flight of the bumble bee" for the students for contrast w the maksim's version, cos apparently, the recorder cldn't read my disk... :( dunno how tom leh like that... fortunately the students were quite forgiving as they just waited for us to get the recorder fixed up. thank God.... i dunno wat to expect for the noisier classes.... see how lah. *chuckle* i hope the music arrangement will get down well with these kids.
its funny how when EL came down to look for me, she was saying that i look so busy.. just like wat GB always tell her... 'that busy lady'... *chuckle* i din noe i look so hardworking!!! ke ke ke... well, doesnt' matter. as long as i pass.. it all doesn't matter.
sigh.. the school is still imposing the additional income tax on us. how terrible. how can they force us to pay and pay, absorb and absorb for the school building fund? goodness, teachers are there to teach and develop students, not to sell fun fair tickets, failure of which we have to fork out FIFTY BUCKS!!! and that is exclusive of the compulsory tix we had to pay for on the first day of school .. for a .... ******** musicla we had to watch... do they think we are made of money? i call it additional income tax.... now that i'm reminded i've yet to file my IR8A form yet....
alrite... now that i'm happy and full..... time to resume work?? nah... lol...
Monday, March 22, 2004
I Will Survive.... NO!!! I Will Conquer!!! Mua Ha Ha
Just made a boo boo that's y now stuck here with nothing much to do... Hey, i'm a busy gal, just that its no point starting up my notebook (it takes like 5 mins to boot up? and about 3 mins to shutdown?) when the next class is in 30 minutes time.
Today morning with 312 turned out better than I expected. Well, maybe not that... I knew it would turn out well because I've entrusted the matter to God oredi... But it was my heart which was still jittery. In fact, I couldn't sleep last night!!! By 3am, I was still wide awake!!! I think that could partially be attributed to the run earlier on as my body was still pretty alert... Still, it was tough lying in bed trying to sleep when one noes s/he has to be up early for a 'challenging' day. Back to 312. My CT was very kind to me as she was telling me things will turn out fine and told the class that they should respect me. The roleplay I tried to get my class to do turned out to be a flop!!! cos the students... were just too shy to read.. HA... shld let YZO try it with that class, den he'll noe many of his plans are not workable in real life. lol... I thk i managed to win over (a bit only lah) one of the gals who was giving me trouble on fri. They say these people have bad memories... when it comes to this event, i certainly hpe so.
My relief class with 303 turned out fine too. a little rowdy tho, but well.. sigh.. i just dunno how to manage ... and my classes always end up that way. *chuckle* gonna start using the 'raise my hand and the rest follows suit til all keeps quiet'... but dunno if its really gonna work. i hate doing this kindof thing.. but if it works, who cares.. lol... Third class with 311 turned out fine. My CT is okiez with me with the exception that she says i might be a little soft. ME SOFT?!?!?! gosh... the over half a year in nie really toned down my voice? i tink i'll invest in those little speakers this time round before i end up being a loudmouth wherever i go when i was teaching in MPSS previously.. typical occupation hazard. lol...
Gotta go work on my music plan!!! la la la la la....
Today morning with 312 turned out better than I expected. Well, maybe not that... I knew it would turn out well because I've entrusted the matter to God oredi... But it was my heart which was still jittery. In fact, I couldn't sleep last night!!! By 3am, I was still wide awake!!! I think that could partially be attributed to the run earlier on as my body was still pretty alert... Still, it was tough lying in bed trying to sleep when one noes s/he has to be up early for a 'challenging' day. Back to 312. My CT was very kind to me as she was telling me things will turn out fine and told the class that they should respect me. The roleplay I tried to get my class to do turned out to be a flop!!! cos the students... were just too shy to read.. HA... shld let YZO try it with that class, den he'll noe many of his plans are not workable in real life. lol... I thk i managed to win over (a bit only lah) one of the gals who was giving me trouble on fri. They say these people have bad memories... when it comes to this event, i certainly hpe so.
My relief class with 303 turned out fine too. a little rowdy tho, but well.. sigh.. i just dunno how to manage ... and my classes always end up that way. *chuckle* gonna start using the 'raise my hand and the rest follows suit til all keeps quiet'... but dunno if its really gonna work. i hate doing this kindof thing.. but if it works, who cares.. lol... Third class with 311 turned out fine. My CT is okiez with me with the exception that she says i might be a little soft. ME SOFT?!?!?! gosh... the over half a year in nie really toned down my voice? i tink i'll invest in those little speakers this time round before i end up being a loudmouth wherever i go when i was teaching in MPSS previously.. typical occupation hazard. lol...
Gotta go work on my music plan!!! la la la la la....
Sunday, March 21, 2004
What a wonderful day....
just came back from my run at macritche with DR. we did about 4.8km today.. but its wasn't in a stretch cos it was pouring.. by the time we hit the course outside the forested trail along the expressway, it was really pouring with thunder and all.. so we had to take shelter at one of the busstops for about ten minutes. when the lightnings start to 'slow' down in frequency, we continued in the rain.. it was okiez.. just not as shiok i did not finish the entire run in one shot.
after run, we went to yishun to have dinner at crystal jade. its really funny cos when we were almost done, there was this little gal, about three four years old, from the other table who ... i dunno.. all i did was to *wink* at her... AND SHE KEPT COMING OVER OUR SIDE... to play with me!!! it was realyl funny cos DR was quite freaked out... but i was just 'entertaining' her... she's really adorable.. i mean.. where do u find such frenly children in singapore today? we just made faces at each other until, her family members made a move, just before us.. *chuckle* i din noe kids like me.. ke ke ke ke.. but it was funny...
when i just got online not too long ago, i saw one of my online frens whom i've invited to my church. AL has been to my church for the third time today. he's looking for a church... i was pleasantly surprised when i checked with him and he said he wanna check out our CG!!! i mean, i invited him knowing he was seeking, but i din expect him to be seriously considering our church!! he seems like he's really eager to start over again and serve.. and it would be wonderful knowing my church is really short of male mentors for the kids!!! lol.... but... i dun wanna jump the gun. anywayz, i was particularly encouraged when he said that he liked the atmosphere of my church this morn... and that he was ministered to by God... i mean.. i'm just really encouraged. Well, have to make an arrangement so he can have a short chat with my pastor... :) ah.... i feel so blessed... because.. ha ha.. i feel like God is using me in some way too!! ke ke ke...
well... its coming to ten soon.. still a little jittery about school tom....a little.... but yet am at peace too... :) noeing that.... hey, my God is far greater.... and He desires good things for my students too.... :) almost packed for tom.. i'll be carrying so many bags to sch tom... gosh... must rem to bring my cup noodles.. ke ke ke ke k.....
after run, we went to yishun to have dinner at crystal jade. its really funny cos when we were almost done, there was this little gal, about three four years old, from the other table who ... i dunno.. all i did was to *wink* at her... AND SHE KEPT COMING OVER OUR SIDE... to play with me!!! it was realyl funny cos DR was quite freaked out... but i was just 'entertaining' her... she's really adorable.. i mean.. where do u find such frenly children in singapore today? we just made faces at each other until, her family members made a move, just before us.. *chuckle* i din noe kids like me.. ke ke ke ke.. but it was funny...
when i just got online not too long ago, i saw one of my online frens whom i've invited to my church. AL has been to my church for the third time today. he's looking for a church... i was pleasantly surprised when i checked with him and he said he wanna check out our CG!!! i mean, i invited him knowing he was seeking, but i din expect him to be seriously considering our church!! he seems like he's really eager to start over again and serve.. and it would be wonderful knowing my church is really short of male mentors for the kids!!! lol.... but... i dun wanna jump the gun. anywayz, i was particularly encouraged when he said that he liked the atmosphere of my church this morn... and that he was ministered to by God... i mean.. i'm just really encouraged. Well, have to make an arrangement so he can have a short chat with my pastor... :) ah.... i feel so blessed... because.. ha ha.. i feel like God is using me in some way too!! ke ke ke...
well... its coming to ten soon.. still a little jittery about school tom....a little.... but yet am at peace too... :) noeing that.... hey, my God is far greater.... and He desires good things for my students too.... :) almost packed for tom.. i'll be carrying so many bags to sch tom... gosh... must rem to bring my cup noodles.. ke ke ke ke k.....
another nitemare.....
i told myself i will trust in God for school in this coming week... and i am going to.. :) just that my dream doesn't help!!! lol
this time round, i dreamt of 312, the class which gave me problem on friday. it was..... CHAOS!!! much worse than the other day.. suddenly, there were TWO classrooms... and to get them to go to the main one was... ARGH!!!.... sent quarter of the class out cos they were taking.. way too long even with warning... den my TWO CTs came in... and even with them around, we cldn't control the class. I was using transparencies to teach, but I DUNNO WAT I WAS TRYING TO TEACH!!! i dun even noe wat it was i wrote on the tranparencies!!! CHAOS!!! now... still feeling the 'after-effects' of the chaotic turmoil in my mind.... but my heart is unchagned. I shall and I will trust in the Lord... because He has put me there to help the students. I dunno how... but I will just let Him do it. :)
service was good.... we prayed for europe. its amazing how a continent can change so much over time. That's pretty much for today. Eat crap food. Cup noodles for breakfast and fish fillet for lunch. OH ONE THING NEVER TO DO!!! is NEVA NEVA NEVA MICROWAVE the fish fillets!!!! u MUST FRY THEM!!! just a moment of laziness resulted in.... bleah lunch. lol... church... lunch.... preparation of powerpoint for class tom... tt's abt it....
now waiting for DR to come pick me to go for a run at macritchie. its threatening to rain... i hope it doesn't!!! *fingers-crossed* afterall, i've neva run at macrtichie before, and the last thing i really need is... rain.. lol.... hopefully i can finish the course. heard its 4.8km... with the slopes and all. i suck at running at places i'm not familiar with.. i hope i can finish it!!!
this time round, i dreamt of 312, the class which gave me problem on friday. it was..... CHAOS!!! much worse than the other day.. suddenly, there were TWO classrooms... and to get them to go to the main one was... ARGH!!!.... sent quarter of the class out cos they were taking.. way too long even with warning... den my TWO CTs came in... and even with them around, we cldn't control the class. I was using transparencies to teach, but I DUNNO WAT I WAS TRYING TO TEACH!!! i dun even noe wat it was i wrote on the tranparencies!!! CHAOS!!! now... still feeling the 'after-effects' of the chaotic turmoil in my mind.... but my heart is unchagned. I shall and I will trust in the Lord... because He has put me there to help the students. I dunno how... but I will just let Him do it. :)
service was good.... we prayed for europe. its amazing how a continent can change so much over time. That's pretty much for today. Eat crap food. Cup noodles for breakfast and fish fillet for lunch. OH ONE THING NEVER TO DO!!! is NEVA NEVA NEVA MICROWAVE the fish fillets!!!! u MUST FRY THEM!!! just a moment of laziness resulted in.... bleah lunch. lol... church... lunch.... preparation of powerpoint for class tom... tt's abt it....
now waiting for DR to come pick me to go for a run at macritchie. its threatening to rain... i hope it doesn't!!! *fingers-crossed* afterall, i've neva run at macrtichie before, and the last thing i really need is... rain.. lol.... hopefully i can finish the course. heard its 4.8km... with the slopes and all. i suck at running at places i'm not familiar with.. i hope i can finish it!!!
i dunno wat i'm doing...
now my pc doesn't crash... but it hangs... at perpectually any program i use... mmjb, msn, netscape, IE, nero burner... lol.... dunno which is worse?? it got so bad for a while.. i was just staring at the screen cos the only thing that could work and was working was the transferring of files via msn. i was transferring this majorly huge file to EC so cant quit the program to reboot.. and gosh... i cld only stare at the screen and wait for the file to finish the transfer.... wat a way to spend sat nite...
just downloading and TRYING to sort out many files... all the powerpoint files... i'm getting so confused. maybe i shld hire someone to file and manage all my folders and documents.. i mean.. the soft copies.. any takers? ;)
until now i still dunno wat i'm doing. topic we had for ML with the gals today was one noeing and doing the will of God... but... i cannot let go of wat i'm holding on to now.. which maybe explains y i'm so crappy of late. *chuckle* maybe i do noe wat i'm doing... but maybe i noe what i SHLD be doing.. aiya.. watever... time to hit the sack and not tink so much.. afterall.. the tomorrow worry for itself... *sigh*
just downloading and TRYING to sort out many files... all the powerpoint files... i'm getting so confused. maybe i shld hire someone to file and manage all my folders and documents.. i mean.. the soft copies.. any takers? ;)
until now i still dunno wat i'm doing. topic we had for ML with the gals today was one noeing and doing the will of God... but... i cannot let go of wat i'm holding on to now.. which maybe explains y i'm so crappy of late. *chuckle* maybe i do noe wat i'm doing... but maybe i noe what i SHLD be doing.. aiya.. watever... time to hit the sack and not tink so much.. afterall.. the tomorrow worry for itself... *sigh*
Saturday, March 20, 2004
its a mad rush.....
finally, i got to get back my pc from sim lim. did that in the morn... the guy there told me its the drivers and bios problem.. watever those mean.. all i wan is a stable system.. tt's all... :)
next stop, to S and HQ's wedding. The two of them had been tog for 8 long years!! since we were in jc!! usually i'll be overjoyed to witness the holy matrimony of my frens. but somehow... well, i am still happy for them, to watch them make the solemn vows before God... yet.... i question what on earth marriage is all about. it was my ambition to be a good wife and mother when i was young *blush*... *chuckle*... but today, i'm question this thing called marriage. suddenly, i dun understd y pple wanna get married. its so much work... so much sacrifice... loss of independence and 'freedom'... so much accountability... i tink i'm getting a little confused about the world's definition of marriage and what its supposed to be? maybe its the guys i've been in contact with... but i can't bring myself to believe in this sort of binding love now. *chuckle* still.. i'm happy for them.... to find this lasting love til the end of their lives... blessed by God and to be blessing to others...
it was to the ML youth meeting then. Three of my gals were away cos of camp or school. Well, combined the grp with Pamy's. At the end of the discussions, we broke into our smaller groups to share. I must say, every time i drag my feet to the meetings.... esp on sat afternoons, so so precious... but i always leave the meetings feeling happy... and proud of them. :) this week was no exception.. .:) so fairly :) now... maybe its their young but innocent passion to want to know God more... I tink with age, sometimes there are so many more distractions, so many more 'strings-attached' to our relationships to God... i dunno... but its good to see the childlike passion.... :) no wonder Jesus said the children will enter His kingdom... because.. all they see... is God... all they wan.. is God...
so finally its back home.. fixing up the comp... and here i am.... next after i post this is to TEST the system.. to see if that guy really did wat he should.. *fingers-crossed* and yeah.. i have to do something about being so 'addicted' to the internet. i have become so dependent to it.. spending way too much time in front of it!! it is a good tool to build relationships and care for my frens.. but... hmm... i tink its affecting me adversely a little oredi.. esp whenever i come online hoping to see some frens online.. only disappointed when they are not ard... die lah die lah...
next stop, to S and HQ's wedding. The two of them had been tog for 8 long years!! since we were in jc!! usually i'll be overjoyed to witness the holy matrimony of my frens. but somehow... well, i am still happy for them, to watch them make the solemn vows before God... yet.... i question what on earth marriage is all about. it was my ambition to be a good wife and mother when i was young *blush*... *chuckle*... but today, i'm question this thing called marriage. suddenly, i dun understd y pple wanna get married. its so much work... so much sacrifice... loss of independence and 'freedom'... so much accountability... i tink i'm getting a little confused about the world's definition of marriage and what its supposed to be? maybe its the guys i've been in contact with... but i can't bring myself to believe in this sort of binding love now. *chuckle* still.. i'm happy for them.... to find this lasting love til the end of their lives... blessed by God and to be blessing to others...
it was to the ML youth meeting then. Three of my gals were away cos of camp or school. Well, combined the grp with Pamy's. At the end of the discussions, we broke into our smaller groups to share. I must say, every time i drag my feet to the meetings.... esp on sat afternoons, so so precious... but i always leave the meetings feeling happy... and proud of them. :) this week was no exception.. .:) so fairly :) now... maybe its their young but innocent passion to want to know God more... I tink with age, sometimes there are so many more distractions, so many more 'strings-attached' to our relationships to God... i dunno... but its good to see the childlike passion.... :) no wonder Jesus said the children will enter His kingdom... because.. all they see... is God... all they wan.. is God...
so finally its back home.. fixing up the comp... and here i am.... next after i post this is to TEST the system.. to see if that guy really did wat he should.. *fingers-crossed* and yeah.. i have to do something about being so 'addicted' to the internet. i have become so dependent to it.. spending way too much time in front of it!! it is a good tool to build relationships and care for my frens.. but... hmm... i tink its affecting me adversely a little oredi.. esp whenever i come online hoping to see some frens online.. only disappointed when they are not ard... die lah die lah...
Friday, March 19, 2004
Edgy Rock....
its about boo boo... about being short tempered... and about rocks today.....
Boo boo - Got awakened early in the morn at 7nish by PW. Apparently I sent her TWO instead of THREE SS lesson plans because of some mix-up cos I was doing my work on two comps. I was like 'die.. my PC is in sim lim..'.. meaning.. either i backedup my data in floppy.. or... just have to do it up again within half an hour before she leaves for school to hand it in... by God's grace... IT WAS IN MY FLOPPY!!! cldn't have imagined wat i'll have done if it wasn't in floppy.... Boo Boo....
Short-tempered - I'm an evil gal today. dunno wat got into me. went to school to print out worksheets for mon's class. supposed to meet EC, PW and Goh to go to ubin. but cos of some holdup in nie.. i was stuck in pingyi waiting for them... I just got so short-tempered.. so irritated... and poor PW and EC got it from me.. when its so obviously not their fault... :( watever got into me i also do not noe... *sighz* truly sorrie PW and EC... pls forgive me okiez? :-/ until now, i still can't explain why i felt that way... and why i behaved in that manner... i forgot to take my pill yest, but that's not supposed to make me crazy today rite? *chuckle* *sighz*
Rocks - Met PW, EC and Goh at simpang for lunch before adjourning to Ubin to look at rocks. Got some funny stories abt our dear tutors in nie.. like YZO and KL.... of course I got to hear about my pastor's notti stories... ;) LOL apparently someone was notti enuff to drop orange hard on sime river causing a splash?? or... someone simply forgot his geog concepts... *chuckle*
in ubin, it was dogs, mozzies, dogs and mozzies... we were like scratching away cos of the mozzie bites... and to make it worse, the sight of the 'sea-slugs' made me feel itchy ALL OVER.... so disgusting... i mean.. ecosystem is beautiful the way God created it.. but the sight of those slimey stuff were like... *bleah*... *chuckle*... but somehow.. they all are so 'at home' there... living their little lives there... where only my Daddy up there noes what they are up to every single moment .... like... imagine.. even as the waves crash against the rocks now in the dark ... only Daddy noes what those slimey stuff are doing.. crawling away.... hmm... *ponder* Anywayz, it was rocks, pot holes, sheets of exfoliation and we spotted a tombolo too!!! nice birdies... forgotten mangroves.... upright yet isolated rock crops... cracked up rocks from daily 'special treatment' from all around..... the world is so HUGE.... if we consider all these small little things' existence... whether or not we are aware of it... they quietly and not exactly quietly declare the awesomeness of their Creator.... how we are 'poorer' than these little creatures and things....
back in mainland, it was KFC... and now... some nice quiet moments with no one else at home.. *smile* life goes on.... i hope i can say life goes on looking at this from the perspective that i have an Almighty God and Father who created what I've just seen... and what i do not see but i noe is praising His greatness with their mere existence... only then i noe life will be more 'bearable' and less scary... if only.....
finally gonna get my PC back... once i find time to go down to sim lim... and den school starts.... *sigh* hmm.... gotta look at things from the rite perspective!!!!!
Boo boo - Got awakened early in the morn at 7nish by PW. Apparently I sent her TWO instead of THREE SS lesson plans because of some mix-up cos I was doing my work on two comps. I was like 'die.. my PC is in sim lim..'.. meaning.. either i backedup my data in floppy.. or... just have to do it up again within half an hour before she leaves for school to hand it in... by God's grace... IT WAS IN MY FLOPPY!!! cldn't have imagined wat i'll have done if it wasn't in floppy.... Boo Boo....
Short-tempered - I'm an evil gal today. dunno wat got into me. went to school to print out worksheets for mon's class. supposed to meet EC, PW and Goh to go to ubin. but cos of some holdup in nie.. i was stuck in pingyi waiting for them... I just got so short-tempered.. so irritated... and poor PW and EC got it from me.. when its so obviously not their fault... :( watever got into me i also do not noe... *sighz* truly sorrie PW and EC... pls forgive me okiez? :-/ until now, i still can't explain why i felt that way... and why i behaved in that manner... i forgot to take my pill yest, but that's not supposed to make me crazy today rite? *chuckle* *sighz*
Rocks - Met PW, EC and Goh at simpang for lunch before adjourning to Ubin to look at rocks. Got some funny stories abt our dear tutors in nie.. like YZO and KL.... of course I got to hear about my pastor's notti stories... ;) LOL apparently someone was notti enuff to drop orange hard on sime river causing a splash?? or... someone simply forgot his geog concepts... *chuckle*
in ubin, it was dogs, mozzies, dogs and mozzies... we were like scratching away cos of the mozzie bites... and to make it worse, the sight of the 'sea-slugs' made me feel itchy ALL OVER.... so disgusting... i mean.. ecosystem is beautiful the way God created it.. but the sight of those slimey stuff were like... *bleah*... *chuckle*... but somehow.. they all are so 'at home' there... living their little lives there... where only my Daddy up there noes what they are up to every single moment .... like... imagine.. even as the waves crash against the rocks now in the dark ... only Daddy noes what those slimey stuff are doing.. crawling away.... hmm... *ponder* Anywayz, it was rocks, pot holes, sheets of exfoliation and we spotted a tombolo too!!! nice birdies... forgotten mangroves.... upright yet isolated rock crops... cracked up rocks from daily 'special treatment' from all around..... the world is so HUGE.... if we consider all these small little things' existence... whether or not we are aware of it... they quietly and not exactly quietly declare the awesomeness of their Creator.... how we are 'poorer' than these little creatures and things....
back in mainland, it was KFC... and now... some nice quiet moments with no one else at home.. *smile* life goes on.... i hope i can say life goes on looking at this from the perspective that i have an Almighty God and Father who created what I've just seen... and what i do not see but i noe is praising His greatness with their mere existence... only then i noe life will be more 'bearable' and less scary... if only.....
finally gonna get my PC back... once i find time to go down to sim lim... and den school starts.... *sigh* hmm.... gotta look at things from the rite perspective!!!!!
Thursday, March 18, 2004
What is my aim in life?
A fren posed me this question yesterday. He asked me "What is your aim in life?"....
I like to say "it is to glorify God... that is my chief purpose in life." Sometimes though, there are just so many distractions... so... many... at this point in my life for example, i don't noe how i'm glorifying God.. in fact, i must say that i'm not even making an effort to... am just living from day to day... assignment after assignmnet... meetings after meetings.. Glorifying God is THRO all these... but .... no.... i haven't... :(
Went for a jog after chicken curry for dinner. (I cooked it again!! this time finally i'm satisfied with the final product!! ha ha)... it was a bad idea.. i knew it was a bad idea even before i started.. but... sometimes human are just so good at deceiving ourselves.. to throw out rational thots and be stubborn ... thro self-deception doing what is not... wise.. *chuckle*.. that's me...
BUT, the run was good (not physically-wise... lol)..was tinking quite a bit during my run. (rather than staying in front of the comp all the time talking to pple, fixing my blog site or checking emails.. or typing lesson plans!! ) How do I glorify God? i asked myself.. by loving people... then i asked... what is love? can anyone really define wat is love? so many people are seeking for love.. all kinds of love.. for affection.. for attnetion... but at the end of the day.. wat is love? why do people want love? is it because it is woven into our DNA genetically? is it because we are self-centered and want love? how do we love people? i noe the 'theologically-sound' answer would be that people want love because the Creator is love.. and He had created human to love and be loved. How do we love? By pouring out our lives to love others with Christ's love... but sometimes.. applying it to the world doesnt' seem so easy.. when one has to struggle with meeting the demands in life and fighting the self-centredness to care for oneself... now i question... why do i care for my frens? why do i care for my students, my nie frens, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my pastors, my family and simply.. people... who do i do that? how do i fail in doing that? (i noe the answer... when i'm not in the Vine.. *sigh*)
Back to the run... outside my thoughts. It was good because I bumped into some of my MPSS students, and they chose to call me!!! These were from my notorious Sec 1F and 1G classes... out of which I did not teach a single thing in my 6 months with them during music class!! I remember SF too. I think she hated me in the beginning.. or at least.. she was an attitude gal!! now they are really nice.. i wonder whether its because i have stopped teaching them.. *chuckle* i really wonder wat good i've done in their lives... *ponder* but being able to be acknowledged as their ex-teacher and not have them hide away from me certainly made my day!! Gave me a bit of spur to teach the Sec 3 classes who are giving my problems in PY. .. but of course.. realistically speaking.. i still ahve to ask... how......?
Well... enough of rattle. dun even noe wat i just talked about.. just some random thots... so what is my aim in life? i still like to say "to glorify God"... am i doing anything to achieve this aim of my life? ...... ...... ..... .... ...... .....
Back to lesson plans for monday.....
I like to say "it is to glorify God... that is my chief purpose in life." Sometimes though, there are just so many distractions... so... many... at this point in my life for example, i don't noe how i'm glorifying God.. in fact, i must say that i'm not even making an effort to... am just living from day to day... assignment after assignmnet... meetings after meetings.. Glorifying God is THRO all these... but .... no.... i haven't... :(
Went for a jog after chicken curry for dinner. (I cooked it again!! this time finally i'm satisfied with the final product!! ha ha)... it was a bad idea.. i knew it was a bad idea even before i started.. but... sometimes human are just so good at deceiving ourselves.. to throw out rational thots and be stubborn ... thro self-deception doing what is not... wise.. *chuckle*.. that's me...
BUT, the run was good (not physically-wise... lol)..was tinking quite a bit during my run. (rather than staying in front of the comp all the time talking to pple, fixing my blog site or checking emails.. or typing lesson plans!! ) How do I glorify God? i asked myself.. by loving people... then i asked... what is love? can anyone really define wat is love? so many people are seeking for love.. all kinds of love.. for affection.. for attnetion... but at the end of the day.. wat is love? why do people want love? is it because it is woven into our DNA genetically? is it because we are self-centered and want love? how do we love people? i noe the 'theologically-sound' answer would be that people want love because the Creator is love.. and He had created human to love and be loved. How do we love? By pouring out our lives to love others with Christ's love... but sometimes.. applying it to the world doesnt' seem so easy.. when one has to struggle with meeting the demands in life and fighting the self-centredness to care for oneself... now i question... why do i care for my frens? why do i care for my students, my nie frens, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my pastors, my family and simply.. people... who do i do that? how do i fail in doing that? (i noe the answer... when i'm not in the Vine.. *sigh*)
Back to the run... outside my thoughts. It was good because I bumped into some of my MPSS students, and they chose to call me!!! These were from my notorious Sec 1F and 1G classes... out of which I did not teach a single thing in my 6 months with them during music class!! I remember SF too. I think she hated me in the beginning.. or at least.. she was an attitude gal!! now they are really nice.. i wonder whether its because i have stopped teaching them.. *chuckle* i really wonder wat good i've done in their lives... *ponder* but being able to be acknowledged as their ex-teacher and not have them hide away from me certainly made my day!! Gave me a bit of spur to teach the Sec 3 classes who are giving my problems in PY. .. but of course.. realistically speaking.. i still ahve to ask... how......?
Well... enough of rattle. dun even noe wat i just talked about.. just some random thots... so what is my aim in life? i still like to say "to glorify God"... am i doing anything to achieve this aim of my life? ...... ...... ..... .... ...... .....
Back to lesson plans for monday.....
I had a dream.......
and it was a nightmare.... *shivers*
I dreamt that I was to take Sec 311 for a class at 9am where I will be observed by my CT. At 7+, 8, she was telling me strictly that I have to pass her the lesson plan... I dunno why in my dream (who ever noes why) I went home and took a nap, getting up at like 8.45am.. (dreams neva make logical sense do they? bet the mathematics function of the brains simply shutdown...) After looking at my timetable.. i go... ARGH!!!! need to washup... change and cab to school.. even so... i can't make it... :( My first observation and I mess it up like that? Gosh.... Just glad I'm out of the dream... but... :( nonetheless.. made me realize how stressed I am over the practicum. I guess the fact that I've finished my section on Social Studies just transferred my brain energy to the next concern... *sighz*
I dreamt that I was to take Sec 311 for a class at 9am where I will be observed by my CT. At 7+, 8, she was telling me strictly that I have to pass her the lesson plan... I dunno why in my dream (who ever noes why) I went home and took a nap, getting up at like 8.45am.. (dreams neva make logical sense do they? bet the mathematics function of the brains simply shutdown...) After looking at my timetable.. i go... ARGH!!!! need to washup... change and cab to school.. even so... i can't make it... :( My first observation and I mess it up like that? Gosh.... Just glad I'm out of the dream... but... :( nonetheless.. made me realize how stressed I am over the practicum. I guess the fact that I've finished my section on Social Studies just transferred my brain energy to the next concern... *sighz*
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Icecream Brownies Gin Kebab Vodka Chicken Wings Beer Agar2 Fishballs Beehoon Friedrice Currypuffs Spaghetti Sushi Popcorns Sausages & Pasta .....
Just came back from music gathering ten pounds heavier!!! LOL. food was good... musicians can certainly cook... what is much better was the company... it was good to see everyone again. the only thing i miss about nie ---- my frens.... my music class.. and my geog class. It was fun making fun of our tutors and their distinctive features. :) miss the guys... wonder when the next round is.. if there ever will be.. *sighz*
it was food food food... laughter laughter and laughter... laughing with and laughing at each other (esp the video of the concert we held last day in nie!!). strangely, no one got drunk with all the vodka, beer and gin brought for potluck?!?!
was saying haven't touched my music instruments for a while.. ha.. i touched PW's piano today... 5 mins.. nonetheless.. it was good.. :) LN says i shld play the piano to entertain my students.. den they will noe i have 'stuff' and respect me.. *chuckle* hmm... *deep in thoughts*
the 'funniest' part was when i was sitting around with some of them... talking.. chatting over food.. when it dawned on me... for the first time in this holiday am i really having a 'life'... or at least really taking a break off to enjoy people, to enjoy something!! :) it was good.. am glad ... i feel normal. lol.. except for the two 'conferences' i had with PW and STL during the gathering in the computer room to get some of the social studies things settled. still.. it was good....
alrite... ten pounds heavier... (yeah, i noe i'm exagerating... do i care?) i'm not sure how i'm gonna manage to force myself for a run later.. half praying it might rain.. den i have the perfect excuse not to run and blame myself... ke ke ke....
i miss my pals....... :(
it was food food food... laughter laughter and laughter... laughing with and laughing at each other (esp the video of the concert we held last day in nie!!). strangely, no one got drunk with all the vodka, beer and gin brought for potluck?!?!
was saying haven't touched my music instruments for a while.. ha.. i touched PW's piano today... 5 mins.. nonetheless.. it was good.. :) LN says i shld play the piano to entertain my students.. den they will noe i have 'stuff' and respect me.. *chuckle* hmm... *deep in thoughts*
the 'funniest' part was when i was sitting around with some of them... talking.. chatting over food.. when it dawned on me... for the first time in this holiday am i really having a 'life'... or at least really taking a break off to enjoy people, to enjoy something!! :) it was good.. am glad ... i feel normal. lol.. except for the two 'conferences' i had with PW and STL during the gathering in the computer room to get some of the social studies things settled. still.. it was good....
alrite... ten pounds heavier... (yeah, i noe i'm exagerating... do i care?) i'm not sure how i'm gonna manage to force myself for a run later.. half praying it might rain.. den i have the perfect excuse not to run and blame myself... ke ke ke....
i miss my pals....... :(
Its 9.56 in the morning... what have I been doing?
so.....cial..... star..... dis...... *chuckle*
at least thankfully, i'm moving according to schedule (actually, a little behind, but at least I'm quite certain I can finish it the day before the deadline and not last minute.).... Just need a lit'l more discipline and I'll be done sooooon......
Had to get up real early at 8 plus (early??? yes!!! if i slept late) just to make sure I get to buy my favorite fish balls for the potluck later. Wanted to cook up something, but realized I do not have the energy..and that.. there would be too much food later anywayz.... so fishballs are good... fishballs are tasty... fishballs are easy to transport... fishballs are.... just 10 mins walk to the market... LOL
Can't wait to try ST's "ham and dunno what roll" she's making because of my request. ha ha.. I feel so pampered... Thank you mommy ST. :) Can't wait to see my la la la music group soon... well.. its NIE people again.. but then again, its not social studies... ke ke.... hmm... let me just go steal a bit more fishballs to makan before the bring the rest over... .... .... ... ...
*yeah i know. Its shallow xt... nothing enlightening... nothing inspiring... ke ke... shallow xt....*
at least thankfully, i'm moving according to schedule (actually, a little behind, but at least I'm quite certain I can finish it the day before the deadline and not last minute.).... Just need a lit'l more discipline and I'll be done sooooon......
Had to get up real early at 8 plus (early??? yes!!! if i slept late) just to make sure I get to buy my favorite fish balls for the potluck later. Wanted to cook up something, but realized I do not have the energy..and that.. there would be too much food later anywayz.... so fishballs are good... fishballs are tasty... fishballs are easy to transport... fishballs are.... just 10 mins walk to the market... LOL
Can't wait to try ST's "ham and dunno what roll" she's making because of my request. ha ha.. I feel so pampered... Thank you mommy ST. :) Can't wait to see my la la la music group soon... well.. its NIE people again.. but then again, its not social studies... ke ke.... hmm... let me just go steal a bit more fishballs to makan before the bring the rest over... .... .... ... ...
*yeah i know. Its shallow xt... nothing enlightening... nothing inspiring... ke ke... shallow xt....*
Does social studies improve my social life???
NO IT DOESN'T!!! with the exception of hanging around with (in real person or online) people who are just as stressed... who talks nothing but the jargons like LORMS, sources, lesson plans, SBQs, SEQs, what have you.. or have nots at tis point of time. *chuckle*
I told myself I should put some time aside to reflect and to tink. But alas, i was right!!! Life still centers around social studies and my computer!! Was at Sim Lim with P this afternoon to check up on my PC. Unfortunately, the boys there were too busy with assembling, so I have to leave the 'center' of my life there.. with them.. *sob sob*... thankfully, by God's grace, I still have my Old Faithful, 4.5 yrs old notebook going slowly along with me. *chuckle*
Was telling EC there is nothing interesting to update my blog with.. really nothing. Haven't touched all my music instruments for quite a while, haven't even met up with people who are 'non-related' to work... hmmm... on second thoughts,... have... but running doesn't count rite EC? ;) I WANNA GO RUNNING TOM!!!! dunno when i can do my 9km like i did on Sun with DR.
Okiez.. end of boring life. Back to more searching of sources for EC. *chuckle*
I told myself I should put some time aside to reflect and to tink. But alas, i was right!!! Life still centers around social studies and my computer!! Was at Sim Lim with P this afternoon to check up on my PC. Unfortunately, the boys there were too busy with assembling, so I have to leave the 'center' of my life there.. with them.. *sob sob*... thankfully, by God's grace, I still have my Old Faithful, 4.5 yrs old notebook going slowly along with me. *chuckle*
Was telling EC there is nothing interesting to update my blog with.. really nothing. Haven't touched all my music instruments for quite a while, haven't even met up with people who are 'non-related' to work... hmmm... on second thoughts,... have... but running doesn't count rite EC? ;) I WANNA GO RUNNING TOM!!!! dunno when i can do my 9km like i did on Sun with DR.
Okiez.. end of boring life. Back to more searching of sources for EC. *chuckle*
Monday, March 15, 2004
Life centers around SOCIAL STUDIES today!!! that's not a good thing. spent like the entire day at PW's place with STL doing up the assignment due soon...... we practically went bonkers trying to squeeze out boring questions and.. lorms.. watever that means.
I'd like to think I have time to spend some quiet moments alone.. and with God... just to reflect on the bigger meaning in life, away from social studies, lessons on monday, when and how to get my computer fixed... But it seems so... difficult.... so, what is life about? Silly question to ask... but at this moment, i may be a little confused. *chuckle* I hope it'll sound better tom... though i have an inkling feeling i'll talk about more social studies and computer tom. ke ke ke...
I'd like to think I have time to spend some quiet moments alone.. and with God... just to reflect on the bigger meaning in life, away from social studies, lessons on monday, when and how to get my computer fixed... But it seems so... difficult.... so, what is life about? Silly question to ask... but at this moment, i may be a little confused. *chuckle* I hope it'll sound better tom... though i have an inkling feeling i'll talk about more social studies and computer tom. ke ke ke...
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