is the Alpha and Omega.
is the Creator of heaven and the earth.
is faithful from before I was born through each breathe I take.
is faithful to accomplish every good thing He has already begun.
That, is something I have learnt and relearnt all my life.
That, would be something my gals have learnt a little through a major disappointment at tis time of their lives.
Wednesday, eve of SYF for guitar, 6.30pm, on bus 158 enroute home
Looked out of window and saw some sparrows hopping by the road at d traffic light. Wondered how it'd feel to hold one of them. Small, warm, full of life. Looked at their 'fake' camoflauge eye and the real eyes. Thot of how if my Abba provides for these little creatures, how much more would He provide for me (us - the guitar gals).
Thursday, 6.15am, on bus to school.
Started to rain. I thot 'surely God tis cant be Your showers of mercy rite?' When the bus reached another location, we moved out of the rain zone and I'm like.. hee.. thank You. So its not showers of mercy. (wondering whether i wan showers of mercy or not, because i have no brolly w muaz!) When bus moves on, it POURED and the song i HAPPENED to (or maybe, it wasn't happened to) listen was "open the floodgates of heaven let it rain". I'm like... OMIGOD... You serious God? but i've got no brolly. *laughs* in any case, God told me He's gonna bless and provided for me at the same time - when my next bus came, the rain stopped!!! My instructor got a verse too "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us" 1 John 5:14,15
Thursday 12.30pm, Auditorium, SCH
Announced that my girls were awarded a silver. Girls were extremely upset (understatement). It was prep-talk from auditorium, out of auditorium, back in school. All the rousing them up, then preptalking them over the week had completely drained me. But still, as i told the gals, the LORD has d best for us, just we dunno wat it is then.
Friday 8.30pm, School
Girls finished their 2nd performance for the day. Over the day, they learnt much, they experienced much. They learnt wat it meant to truly enjoy music. They learnt wat it meant to perform. They had fun. THey learnt wat disappointment is. I hope they learnt what it means to give thanks in times of disappoinment.
Now, i'm gonna leave school. rest time. Amen to He who cares for and feeds the sparrows.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
bohemian vs power suit
My style of dressing: Bohemian
That has been confirmed by a couple of pple... ana, pple for the tues CG, and just today, my colleagues HZ n TS mentioned tt again. While its a style i'm proud of and luv, there are times i lust for the power suits.
Components of the power suit: makeup, nail polish, groomed brows, heels, jacket, tailored pants/snugly fitted skirts, DARK.
i luv the power combi too but alas, my profession does not allow me to don that without attempting suicide. there are times i wish i cld wear something tt makes me not look so 'unpro' when i teach, but under practical circumstances, i cant. walking from block to block (reads: changi to jurong), 'entertaining' and 'performing' in classrooms of soaring temperatures... means under the power suit, i'll either suffer heatstroke, tortured knees, kua-li face, or all of the above. G was appalled with her question "u mean u dun even put on a little bit of makeup?" *sighz*
meanwhile, i luv my boho dressing. simple, comfy n fuss-free... makes me who i am. *chuckles* but the lust for power suits still lingers....
That has been confirmed by a couple of pple... ana, pple for the tues CG, and just today, my colleagues HZ n TS mentioned tt again. While its a style i'm proud of and luv, there are times i lust for the power suits.
Components of the power suit: makeup, nail polish, groomed brows, heels, jacket, tailored pants/snugly fitted skirts, DARK.
i luv the power combi too but alas, my profession does not allow me to don that without attempting suicide. there are times i wish i cld wear something tt makes me not look so 'unpro' when i teach, but under practical circumstances, i cant. walking from block to block (reads: changi to jurong), 'entertaining' and 'performing' in classrooms of soaring temperatures... means under the power suit, i'll either suffer heatstroke, tortured knees, kua-li face, or all of the above. G was appalled with her question "u mean u dun even put on a little bit of makeup?" *sighz*
meanwhile, i luv my boho dressing. simple, comfy n fuss-free... makes me who i am. *chuckles* but the lust for power suits still lingers....
Sunday, April 17, 2005
of taxi-drivers
there has so far only been 3 occasions when i refused to thank the taxi-drivers b4 i get off the cabs.
1. a seemingly drunk? not too alert? senile? driver.
that was totally nitemare leaving my legs jelly upon arrival back home. experience written down somewhere in blog last year.
2. he went on as many highways as possible before getting me home.
tt was just last tues after CG. was rushing to get home. got cab from tanjong pagar. i cant rem wat the route shld b, but am absolutely sure he took d wrong oneSS. He took ECP (which is not exactly rite oredi), nvm. he exited near beach rd (when he shld hv done either a fort road or katong one), nvm. went into beach rd and turned into nicol highway (when he cld hv headed straight into lavender/kallang).nvm. from nicol highway he exited from geylang (when he cld hv done a paya lebar).... i was too tired so i only realized the wrong turns after they were made. thankfully he was a reckless driver. so i did not get home too late.
3. he drove at a freaking snail's pace.
i cld hv taken a bus. might hv taken d same amt of time at a fraction of the cost. got lift from mommy n cabbing from ard her place. tis old man, the meter barely moved beyond 40km/hr. thankfully d distance was not too long... if not, i cld hv died....
ask me to choose between driver #3 (slow driver does not mean safe driver) and a typical cabby (reads: reckless speeder).... gimme the latter. *laughs*
1. a seemingly drunk? not too alert? senile? driver.
that was totally nitemare leaving my legs jelly upon arrival back home. experience written down somewhere in blog last year.
2. he went on as many highways as possible before getting me home.
tt was just last tues after CG. was rushing to get home. got cab from tanjong pagar. i cant rem wat the route shld b, but am absolutely sure he took d wrong oneSS. He took ECP (which is not exactly rite oredi), nvm. he exited near beach rd (when he shld hv done either a fort road or katong one), nvm. went into beach rd and turned into nicol highway (when he cld hv headed straight into lavender/kallang).nvm. from nicol highway he exited from geylang (when he cld hv done a paya lebar).... i was too tired so i only realized the wrong turns after they were made. thankfully he was a reckless driver. so i did not get home too late.
3. he drove at a freaking snail's pace.
i cld hv taken a bus. might hv taken d same amt of time at a fraction of the cost. got lift from mommy n cabbing from ard her place. tis old man, the meter barely moved beyond 40km/hr. thankfully d distance was not too long... if not, i cld hv died....
ask me to choose between driver #3 (slow driver does not mean safe driver) and a typical cabby (reads: reckless speeder).... gimme the latter. *laughs*
cloud gazing
i brought one class cloud gazing to show them wat cumulonimbus clouds really looked like. syllabus has changed such tt tt's d only cloud they learn abt. anywayz,tt day was perfect for cloud gazing. clouds appeared in their various stages of formation into a towering giant cauliflower. told them how i used to 'smoke' my frens telling them whether a heavy rain will ensue within a day based on the shape & height of the cumu clouds. fri told them either fri nite or sat heavy rain... and it rained heavy alrite last nite.
when i told them abt d rain i was tinking, oh no, but God tom we are gonna watch movies openair... rain can rain rite time? it rained close to the time movies were to b screened. but just before tt. so by the time movies were due to roll, rain had stopped. when i told FL abt the heavy rain, i wasn't extremely worried cos i knew rains from cumu clouds only last short while - 1 or 2 hours at most. talk abt how God really works in the physical laws of nature. lol...
but i did not leave the nite feeling happy.... i felt blue. hv some inkling idea wat caused the blueness, but they are many small issues which i hv chosen to brood on. so move on. wat helps me move on... the reminder that i'm just a passerby...
"All these faithful ones ........ saw it all from a distance and welcomed the promises of God. They agreed that they were no more than foreigners and nomads here on earth. And obviously people who talk like that are looking forward to a country they can call their own. .... But they were looking for a better plce, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a heavenly city for them" Heb 11: 13 - 16
Yeah. Been reading Hebrews. Its a great book to start one from the beginning to looking to the end. Meanwhile integrating this book into the fast-paced life constantly filled with urgent matters to look into is a challenge.
when i told them abt d rain i was tinking, oh no, but God tom we are gonna watch movies openair... rain can rain rite time? it rained close to the time movies were to b screened. but just before tt. so by the time movies were due to roll, rain had stopped. when i told FL abt the heavy rain, i wasn't extremely worried cos i knew rains from cumu clouds only last short while - 1 or 2 hours at most. talk abt how God really works in the physical laws of nature. lol...
but i did not leave the nite feeling happy.... i felt blue. hv some inkling idea wat caused the blueness, but they are many small issues which i hv chosen to brood on. so move on. wat helps me move on... the reminder that i'm just a passerby...
"All these faithful ones ........ saw it all from a distance and welcomed the promises of God. They agreed that they were no more than foreigners and nomads here on earth. And obviously people who talk like that are looking forward to a country they can call their own. .... But they were looking for a better plce, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a heavenly city for them" Heb 11: 13 - 16
Yeah. Been reading Hebrews. Its a great book to start one from the beginning to looking to the end. Meanwhile integrating this book into the fast-paced life constantly filled with urgent matters to look into is a challenge.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Truly humbled
I do not even noe where to begin.
No, I haven't been like really 'passionate' or 'on' or 'super-duper-filled-with-the-Holy-Spirit' sort of thing. But big things the Lord has revealed to me in small matters.
He has called me for a purpose. I am created to worship Him. I am called to be an extension of His hand. He will empower me for His purpose. He has won the battle and I enjoy His victory.
I had been living a defeated life. I think little of myself, in the area of work esp. (well, nothing wrong with that. i am little but He is big). I have allowed the 'mini-me' to shadow my big Dad. I hv allowed the spirit of delay to hold me back.
No longer so. Thro small things, my gracious and faithful Dad has shown me big things. mini-me doesn't matter. Daddy will pave the way and use mini-me. In fact, within the past 5 days He has chosen me to put into His jigsaw, little pieces into place. He brought a seeker for me to speak to, He put gals who wanted to noe more abt Christianity for me to spend time with, He brought gals from my class to approach me to pray, He made me lead a short worship. I'm not boasting, for I have nothing to boast about. I am humbled by how even tho i'm really truly so unworthy, so 'not ready', so 'not on fire'... all He asks is obedience... and He will empower for His kingdom. I am truly humbled.
My prayer is Father, unveil my eyes to see You, my ears to hear You. May my eyes never depart from You, my heart always close to Yours. Teach my Your heart, Your will, Your word. I claim Your promise You have spoken in Hebrews that You will reveal Your word in the minds and hearts of Your children. Give me the strength to carry forth Your tasks to love, the wisdom to know how to love, and Jesus' heart. Amen.
No, I haven't been like really 'passionate' or 'on' or 'super-duper-filled-with-the-Holy-Spirit' sort of thing. But big things the Lord has revealed to me in small matters.
He has called me for a purpose. I am created to worship Him. I am called to be an extension of His hand. He will empower me for His purpose. He has won the battle and I enjoy His victory.
I had been living a defeated life. I think little of myself, in the area of work esp. (well, nothing wrong with that. i am little but He is big). I have allowed the 'mini-me' to shadow my big Dad. I hv allowed the spirit of delay to hold me back.
No longer so. Thro small things, my gracious and faithful Dad has shown me big things. mini-me doesn't matter. Daddy will pave the way and use mini-me. In fact, within the past 5 days He has chosen me to put into His jigsaw, little pieces into place. He brought a seeker for me to speak to, He put gals who wanted to noe more abt Christianity for me to spend time with, He brought gals from my class to approach me to pray, He made me lead a short worship. I'm not boasting, for I have nothing to boast about. I am humbled by how even tho i'm really truly so unworthy, so 'not ready', so 'not on fire'... all He asks is obedience... and He will empower for His kingdom. I am truly humbled.
My prayer is Father, unveil my eyes to see You, my ears to hear You. May my eyes never depart from You, my heart always close to Yours. Teach my Your heart, Your will, Your word. I claim Your promise You have spoken in Hebrews that You will reveal Your word in the minds and hearts of Your children. Give me the strength to carry forth Your tasks to love, the wisdom to know how to love, and Jesus' heart. Amen.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Term 2 Week 3
Monday
NAFTA day for the kids. Spent d entire afternn timing shuttle run. different perspective being the timer. I finally bought a new bible. After giving away the small one to my trek guide in nepal, i hv been surviving w tis really old big bible. i noe all bibles are the same, but d feel is different. it din feel so 'special' or 'personal'. So invested in one. Not cheap. but an investment. metal cased NLT.
Tuesday
Meetings day. Staff meeting followed by meeting for china trip in jun followed by d CG. Was late and left early. Exhausted.
Wednesday
Went for a session in another sec sch in the afternn and rushed for worship prac. pretty fun prac.
Thursday
Uneventful day which was good. needed the rest.
Friday
had lunch out at parkway w the trainee and contract teachers. bought a workbag. totally zonked out for the week. struggled to keep awake til ten and concuzzed.
Saturday
morn spent ironing away. afternn spent baking. evening at fort canning for ballet under the stars. it was like picnic style. me like it. later hung out w FL and her fren. its farnie how i ended up explaining stuff abt Christ. I mean... i'm like... me? its been a long long long time.
Sunday
Tough worship sessions. very sleepy cos got home late yest nite, plus mozzie attack. so cldn't sleep. song service somemore. so no w i'm gonne hit the sack
NAFTA day for the kids. Spent d entire afternn timing shuttle run. different perspective being the timer. I finally bought a new bible. After giving away the small one to my trek guide in nepal, i hv been surviving w tis really old big bible. i noe all bibles are the same, but d feel is different. it din feel so 'special' or 'personal'. So invested in one. Not cheap. but an investment. metal cased NLT.
Tuesday
Meetings day. Staff meeting followed by meeting for china trip in jun followed by d CG. Was late and left early. Exhausted.
Wednesday
Went for a session in another sec sch in the afternn and rushed for worship prac. pretty fun prac.
Thursday
Uneventful day which was good. needed the rest.
Friday
had lunch out at parkway w the trainee and contract teachers. bought a workbag. totally zonked out for the week. struggled to keep awake til ten and concuzzed.
Saturday
morn spent ironing away. afternn spent baking. evening at fort canning for ballet under the stars. it was like picnic style. me like it. later hung out w FL and her fren. its farnie how i ended up explaining stuff abt Christ. I mean... i'm like... me? its been a long long long time.
Sunday
Tough worship sessions. very sleepy cos got home late yest nite, plus mozzie attack. so cldn't sleep. song service somemore. so no w i'm gonne hit the sack
Sunday, April 03, 2005
woke up late
and almost missed service or attended another church's service.
in d end went for service late. for once, in a long while, i was able to concentrate on d sermon.
nonetheless, i'm no saint still. i still cannot stand my sister. (refraining from use of word 'detest'). patience tested.
back to school... back to marking.. .haiz.... i hope i dun screw up.
in d end went for service late. for once, in a long while, i was able to concentrate on d sermon.
nonetheless, i'm no saint still. i still cannot stand my sister. (refraining from use of word 'detest'). patience tested.
back to school... back to marking.. .haiz.... i hope i dun screw up.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Music playing... inside my room... while raining cool outside...
Its been an eventful week. Some highlights:
1. I passed my First Aid test on Thursday night.
The test took longer than usual becoz the examiner whom the entire class couldn't stand deliberately tested us on things we weren't taught! And he was a mean old man who thot the world of himself. In any case, we did not end w a happy note cos just as we were leaving one lady lost her HP. it was apparently stolen. the irritating examiner did nothing to help. he just let pple from other class walk out. only our class were nice enuff to stay. stuck there for longer than expected. but still... i passed.. and i even aced my class for the theory section!
Really thank God. Farnie as in, in this 'small matter' of first aid, my impression is i need to do my part in studying. but pple ard me keep telling me... PRAY... yeah.. of course pray, but i need to do my part too dun i?
2. Put to use my first aid knowledge the following day.
msged SHR to tell her i passed. she was farnie. out of humor, she replied 'yeah, tom u r ready to save lives in the sports meet'. urm... 'prophecy'... *laughs* i ended up doin bandage for a colleauge and helped her cos she was feeling faint. i mean i actualyl noewat to do!! i do feel gd tt i was able to not just feel concern.. but also noe wat to do...
3. some of my guitar club gals are actually afraid of me!
*laughs* they dun dare to hand in forms to me when late. wld rather pass to the other tr. MUA HA HA. FINALLY! some kids afraid of me! sadistic rite? actually happy studnets afraid of me. ke ke ke. but i do need that my gosh! if only more are afraid. *chuckles*
4. Tuesday CG
It was nice. haven't worshipped w pple like tt for a while, just sitting on the floor in a circle... w only guit accomp. reminds me of my CF and church youth days. praying tog in smaller grps gave me a strange familiar but yet unfamiliar feeling. but timing is not very ideal cos they end very late. and anywayz, i'm still not sure. need to ask Him whether this is the grp.
5. Fri
Yest was mad. Had Sports Day after which rushed gals for a prac in the SCH. just being in the venue itself made them tense and they cldn't perform up to std. worrying. currently not gold std. i wld give them a silver. but we hv the hope of achieving gold. 1. they can perform if we cont to push for the last 3 weeks. 2. we hv the grace of God. He noes wats best.
Den rushed for massage w HZL we had been planning long long ago.. and overdue for a month. thereafter, we had dinner at kfc. we spoke openly abt our religions. she listend to me talk abt my exp in Christianity. i listened to her and her views abt Islam. in fact, she told me she was glad one of her class gals received Christ cos she tinks pple need religion. But God, how do i do my part as a fren of hers?
6. Meanwhile, gonna b really busy w many things due soon. and we are just starting our plans for the kunming trip in 10 weeks. only had our first meeting yest! gosh...
So tt's enuff update. hv to move on to work oredi. :)
1. I passed my First Aid test on Thursday night.
The test took longer than usual becoz the examiner whom the entire class couldn't stand deliberately tested us on things we weren't taught! And he was a mean old man who thot the world of himself. In any case, we did not end w a happy note cos just as we were leaving one lady lost her HP. it was apparently stolen. the irritating examiner did nothing to help. he just let pple from other class walk out. only our class were nice enuff to stay. stuck there for longer than expected. but still... i passed.. and i even aced my class for the theory section!
Really thank God. Farnie as in, in this 'small matter' of first aid, my impression is i need to do my part in studying. but pple ard me keep telling me... PRAY... yeah.. of course pray, but i need to do my part too dun i?
2. Put to use my first aid knowledge the following day.
msged SHR to tell her i passed. she was farnie. out of humor, she replied 'yeah, tom u r ready to save lives in the sports meet'. urm... 'prophecy'... *laughs* i ended up doin bandage for a colleauge and helped her cos she was feeling faint. i mean i actualyl noewat to do!! i do feel gd tt i was able to not just feel concern.. but also noe wat to do...
3. some of my guitar club gals are actually afraid of me!
*laughs* they dun dare to hand in forms to me when late. wld rather pass to the other tr. MUA HA HA. FINALLY! some kids afraid of me! sadistic rite? actually happy studnets afraid of me. ke ke ke. but i do need that my gosh! if only more are afraid. *chuckles*
4. Tuesday CG
It was nice. haven't worshipped w pple like tt for a while, just sitting on the floor in a circle... w only guit accomp. reminds me of my CF and church youth days. praying tog in smaller grps gave me a strange familiar but yet unfamiliar feeling. but timing is not very ideal cos they end very late. and anywayz, i'm still not sure. need to ask Him whether this is the grp.
5. Fri
Yest was mad. Had Sports Day after which rushed gals for a prac in the SCH. just being in the venue itself made them tense and they cldn't perform up to std. worrying. currently not gold std. i wld give them a silver. but we hv the hope of achieving gold. 1. they can perform if we cont to push for the last 3 weeks. 2. we hv the grace of God. He noes wats best.
Den rushed for massage w HZL we had been planning long long ago.. and overdue for a month. thereafter, we had dinner at kfc. we spoke openly abt our religions. she listend to me talk abt my exp in Christianity. i listened to her and her views abt Islam. in fact, she told me she was glad one of her class gals received Christ cos she tinks pple need religion. But God, how do i do my part as a fren of hers?
6. Meanwhile, gonna b really busy w many things due soon. and we are just starting our plans for the kunming trip in 10 weeks. only had our first meeting yest! gosh...
So tt's enuff update. hv to move on to work oredi. :)
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