XT's journey with Abba, Jesus, Friend

I had to prepare a testimony for my trip to Kalimantan. I've been procrastinating like crazy. Just like the work review, I don't sit down and get it down til its the night before the deadline. Or the day itself. *laughs* Kindof long. Well, we are told to prepared for 5 - 10 mins! So here it is....

Hello there. My name is Sheryl. Meaning ‘beloved’. I am going to share with you my journey with the One who calls me His beloved. Its not spectacular, but its beautiful. I will begin with the hymn titled “Blessed Assurance” that pretty much sums up the love story that I’m going to share with you.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

I grew up in a Christian family. In other words, my parents are Christians and I went to church every week without fail as a child. There, I learnt about God. I learnt about Jesus. I learnt about the bible, the stories in the bible, pretty much what you do when you come to the training center.

Jesus has been a Friend to me as early as I can remember. He sits by my bed each night, and I talk to Him. I knew He is God. And the BIGGEST and the MIGHTIEST Person in the world. I trusted Him, even when my relationship with Him was so elementary.

Two incidents as a child I remembered clearly. Once, at the age of less than 8, one of my eye started swelling. It was in the night. In those days, clinics close early. My father did not earn much. We couldn’t afford to have a house call, unless it was really serious. It could be an allergy. But as a child, I knew not what was going on, except for the discomfort, and possibility that I could go blind. Well, I was a kid! As I laid on the bed in the dark, I spoke to God. That’s called praying. So I started talking to Jesus. I told Him, God, I know You are Almighty. You are Healer. You can raise the dead. Jesus, please make my eyes recover. And made my eyes recovered He did. The swell went down and I told my parents about my prayer. Jesus, Jehovah Rapha. He showed me He is the Healer.

Another time, my mom dropped a small part of her earring just as we were leaving for a dinner. It was a very small piece and hard to locate. She quickly engaged the help of her little ones to look for it. As we searched and scrutinized the floor, I prayed to God. I said “Jesus, please open my eyes and illuminate Your light on what we are looking for”. In a while, I spotted the little piece, before my other siblings. I told my mom about it.

Some people might discount these as trivial, and of no significance. But it meant a lot to me as a child. In my faith journey, that is to continue over the years to come till today, and the days to come, till I breathe my last.

To be specific, those incidents happen even though I do not even know if I could be considered a ‘true blue saved Christian’. Being born in a Christian family, knowing the bible stories well, knowing the model answers to the ‘christian’ and biblical questions during Sunday School classes, going to church weekly, being the ‘model’ Sunday school kid, does not save me. It is having the relationship with God that matters. It is accepting Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord of my life that matters. Just calling Him Savior does not suffice. He has called us to journey with Him in an intimate relationship to know Him as our Lover, to follow Him to be like Him, to be His disciples.

I ‘formally’ raised my hands to receive Jesus as my Savior and Lord at the age of 11 in a religious class in school. I continued to seek Him as much as possible. I can’t say daily, because we all fall behind at times (but He is faithful). Nothing much has changed. God is still God. I continued to journey with Him. Served Him in church and in school. Then at the age of about 18, God revealed to me something rather suddenly. (He likes to surprise us.) It was a revelation that: God is MY God, and not MY PARENTS’ God. For many years while walking with Him, I haven’t realized that He is MY God.

What am I getting at here?

Firstly, even when we are blind and not known Him as who He really is, He still cares for us. And if we seek, we will find. If we knock, He will open. If we ask, He will add. Before I ‘formally’ acknowledged Him, when I asked sincerely, He listens.

The second one applies to those who are brought up in a Christian family. Jesus is YOUR personal God. He cannot be your parents’ God. You have to know Him for yourself. The relationship has to be unique between you and Him and no one else. When you develop this relationship, you know what? You do not know when exactly you are saved. But, you are saved. Period. Its like when you start walking in the forest in the night. Its dark. Eventually, day time comes. Still, its dark because the canopy cuts out most of the light. You do not know when daylight starts. But you know that when you get out of the forest, there will be light. (Is this confusing? Lol)

The journey does not end when you know that you are saved. The journey has just begun. What is this journey about?

This is a journey of love, of faith and of revelation.

The journey is not smooth sailing. I don’t pray to Him every day in all the days. There were days I do not read the bible. There were days when He seemed far away. He was never far. But my heart could be distracted, grown cold. I could not feel Him. I could not hear Him. In those days, it was miserable. Why? The heart knows, that I cannot live without Him. I might try. I might try to do my things, things that give me pleasure for that moment. But I was miserable because I’ve turned away from Him. The heart missed the fellowship with the One its grown to love. Not something we might be able to feel. This ‘love’. But the heart was created to love Him.

So, how does this journey work for me? The basic people always say is: set aside time to pray to Him daily; set aside time to read His word daily; set aside time to listen to Him daily. Indeed.
It’s not just setting aside time. It is also as simple as keeping your mind and heart connected to Him by talking to Him wherever, whenever, whatever.
I wake up in the morning saying ‘Good morning Daddy’, whatever mood I’m in. I talk to Him on the bus. I talk to Him while waiting for the bus, even when I’ve missed it. I talk to Him in Singapore. I talk to Him when I’m on the mountains when I went to Nepal. I tell Him, its so BEAUTIFUL! I talk to Him when I go diving in the sea. I tell Him, its so AWESOME! You are so creative. I talk to Him when I’m here with You in Kalimantan. I ask Him, what do You want me to see? I talk to Him when I need Him. Wherever, whenever, whatever.

And this journey is beautiful. Because as you embark on it, keeping your mind and heart connected to Him, and to seek Him, He will show you more and more about Himself. In the first two incidents I spoke about earlier, He showed me that He is the Healer. He showed me that He is the Helper.

Just more incidents, big and small, He reveals more of who He is personally to me.

I remember when I was in Chiangmai in Thailand. I wandered into the outskirts of the main town looking for two museums on my last day there. When it was getting to late afternoon, I had to try to get back to the main town so that I could catch my train to another city Bangkok. But I could not get any vehicle to stop for me for quite some time. It was worrying! A single young gal, out in the suburb, who cannot speak the language, the sky darkening, it was potentially worrying. There was fear in me. As I walked in the direction leading towards the main town, I prayed in my heart. I asked Him for His protection and provision of a vehicle to bring me back. In a while, I managed to hail down a little taxi-truck. The driver only knew how to get to the main town. But he did not know how to go to the hostel that I wanted to go to. But he agreed to take me. And guess what? I did not even have to bargain for a low fare. He offered me a low fare! By the grace of God, and by turning the rudimentary map in all directions, we managed to get me back in time. He is God the Protector and Jehovah Jireh, God the Provider.

Another ‘incident’. I was in a relationship earlier this year. Throughout that season, He taught me not to just put my attention on the relationship or the guy, but to keep my eyes on Him. (See, when a lot of us young people get into a relationship, we lose our focus on God). Whenever I was disappointed with things that happened, I realized, hey, with Jesus, this can never happen because He is perfect. He is Jesus, the Perfect Lover.

The most recent revelation of His attribute that He is showing me is that He is the most Creative Artist at work. When I considered the ecosystem, how He has made things move in sync., when I considered out of NOTHING, He created the earth, human, this thing we called love, that we all can’t fuly comprehend, His Plan of redemption. Who would come up with these from NOTHING? And as I sat in His presence lately a couple of times, He tells me ‘Come, My beloved. Sit beside Me here. Look, look at what I am painting…’ And I see Him coloring on the canvas… Swipes of paint.. colors… So beautiful. He showed me that He’s coloring the world He has created, He’s coloring my life, and He’s coloring the lives of all His children, meaning each one of you…

This is my journey, and my love story with my Lord Jesus. He calls us to walk in a relationship with Him. He calls us to know Him.

I am thankful and amazed of how He calls me into this journey with Him. Its not always easy.  But I guarantee, it’s the most beautiful thing that can happen, because this is what He has created us for: To journey with Him, to know Him, to love Him, and through that, glorify Him.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

All glory to Him. Amen.