Downing a load of pineapple tarts while typing this....

have been feeling a cocktail of bleah, bored, sianz, sad, sighz, since afternoon. No, its not PMS. Its way too early for that to set in.

Possible reasons? Lets see....
1. School's starting, so no more 'freedom' I get to enjoy
2. Some silly things happening in school plus the pressure that i dunno wat to teach/stuff to prepare
3. Frustration over a relationship
4. the lack of 'adrenaline-inducing' activities i've been used to for the past month.

All these added up.... yup, the perfect cocktail of emotions. Surely there's a better way of looking at things. Yes there is. Its just that I'm not looking at things the right perspective at the moment. I'm getting a little 'used' to my current lifestyle. Nothing wrong with my lifestyle. Except, it is how i value things in my lifestyle tt's where the problem lies. Its been a lot of doing and doing and doing. One thing after another. Good things have happened. I had lotsa fun. I learnt lotsa new things. I've stepped up to the challenges i've set for myself. But perhaps, there has been too much 'I' in the picture. Perhaps why I'm feeling this way has been because i'm too focused on 'I'. There are many more important things out there.. many more important people out there.. ONE most important focus, my ABBA, all of which had been hidden beneath the 'I'. Does it mean that I wldn't feel watever I'm feeling now if this 'I' be hidden behind the cross? *ponders* I suppose I wld still feel the cocktail, except, i'll be able to handle them in a constructive manner? *ponders*

In any case, I got some stuff done today. Sent out two out of the three emails I wanted to. Did my geog pwpt n worksheets. Finally the frustration, boredness and angst got into me in the afternoon decided to pay sandfly a visit at the orchid country club where she's having her staff retreat. she almost fly me kite when i reach AMK. Nonetheless, i went there and waited for her... in her room.. listening to some MP3 and reading my national geography (first time i flipped open the jun issue!!). Thankfully, the quiet time away from home, in the 'hotel-room' setting was good to give me a feeling of being away from it all... we had a long conversation at the pool thereafter with her fren Nancy as well.. Talked abt relationships... talked abt guys who can't commit... talked abt school... talked abt diving.... it was nice to be out.... however... the cab fare wasn't a joke. cos it was late plus the place was ulu... had to call in a cab. i am 24 bucks poorer.... no kidding!!!

now just tired... tom hv to bring students out for the prac again. the instructor did get back to me. in a diplomatic fashion as well... communication is key... tt's one of my belief in life.. and i'm glad its present in this case. :)

end of boring blog... maybe its time i work on my 'I'.... sighz...