Dive of the trip

Really exhausted now. But must blog tis most happening dive of the trip in...

Date: 13 Mar Site: Sugar Wreck
Time in: 1320hrs Time out: Approx 1430
Dive buddy: PL
Other dive mates: GR n EV
Divemaster: Yoe

Immediately after descend:
Visibility was about 1.5 - 2m. Meaning very bad. I lost my buddy immediately. Was left w GR n EV. We signaled to each other "where are the rest?" and shrugged shoulders with hands out in response "dunno". Hung ard descend point for half a min to wait and heard Yoe horn for us. But sound travels in all directions in liquid, so had no idea where he is. Suddenly he appeared w PL. And we proceeded w dive.

Approx 10mins into dive:
Was following Yoe closely cos of the low visibility. Occasionally checking on back for buddy. Just at the moment I did not check, Yoe signalled to me "where's ur buddy?" I turned back. Yellow cloudiness. All missing. (PL later told me she was playing w sea urchin w the rest, so got lost. lol) We backtracked quite a bit. Did the SOP. Search for a min den ascended to find them. After a while, saw them a distance away. They had to fight the currents to swim back to us. Poor pple. I was really glad i wasn't in their position.

We descended again.

Within 5 mins of descend
Yoe suddenly stopped turned back and blocked PL. A fishing line with many hooks was dropped right in front of him and us. We were too close. He took the line, tugged it (the person above was trying to pull it up, ha, thot it was big fish *laughs*) and snapped it. We went on with dive.

Next many minutes....
Saw many stuff... fish... corals... urchins... etc... nice dive site! And i made it a point to check on my buddy more often.

Last 5 mins
We were at abt 5 - 9 m depth. Abt time to do safety stop. I stopped checking on my buddy den cos... well... we were ending dive, and seriously at tt depth and good visibility, there was no reason how anyone could be missing! But... i was... wrong....
Yoe took up an urchin and played w it on his palm. I was looking at the urchin and all. Den decided to check on buddy. BUT THEY WERE NOT THERE!! Incredible. Yoe was also like... huh? So we looked ard tt area only (cos anywayz, everyone noes we were to end dive soon, so wldn't drift far). I spotted some bubbles, but those disappeared quickly. So we just did our safety stop, meanwhile i was playing w a batfish.

Ascended...
A distance away, i saw the rest of them climb up the boat. The boat came for us. We went up too...

The story behind why they got lost:
GR was v low on air again, so was sharing air w PL. So a bit like mahfan oredi. At this point, of all times, EV's mask strap gave way!!! So while using alternate air source, GR had to work on EV's mask while PL held on to the two of them. Finally they all ascended w EV like a blind person being led ard for that short while. LOL. And the farnie part was, both GR n PL thot EV was pulling a stunt when she turned to them w no mask! LOL. Absolutely hilarious. I missed the show. *chuckles*

We all concluded that must hv been d most happening dive of the trip. Pple got lost 3 times. We had a situation of guys going on alternate air source while leading a 'blind' diver ard. KE KE KE.

battered body

sun burnt from face to arms to legs... as in... really red and feeling quite raw.

rashes all over the body... arms and legs.... dunno where from. my guess... from the sea and showering with salt water all the 3 days as there's like no freshwater to shower in!!

bruises on both my arms.. and urm.. yah, legs also. from where? God noes.. prob from climbing up (actually i mean being hauled up onto) the speedboats from the sea.

cuts by corals on knees.... and abrasion on ankle cos of sand in booties....

battered... battered... battered...

narcosed giraffe

just reached home from perhentian.

'interesting' dives.

great dive sites.

saw many new things like anemones and corals i've neva seen before, fish like titan triggerfish, porcupine fish (the one in Shark's Tale that puffs up, razor fish, many many...

v. long journey.

nice local dive operator and DMs.

gotta noe PL

terrible food

very very very exhausting dives after dives.. such that the person-in-charge and a senior DM told us straight in our faces that we are crazy to try to clock so many dives in those hours.

no time to blog 'interesting' details cos got course tom morn... till nite... argh...

zzz... w wet hair...

long long long day

early in morn, last min call to tell me i hv to go sch on my own. by God's grace, i made it down in spite of late notice.

long day of many periods.

did marking.

did 2.4km run for the sch sports event. darn warm weather.

went for my first aid course.

darn tired now. but feeling pretty good...

long long long day

lesson observation is finally over today.... after much trauma. my performance was not up to my expectations. But will do. :)

met up w dive gang sat nite. tho things are not as 'simple' as previously, its nice to meet and talk abt simple things... :) getting pple who are concerned abt u, ur work... being caught up w each others' stories... always good to see my xiao mei, buddy, GR, LD n RG, ha ha.. esp the first two!

SYF coming up. Training intensifying. But half the time i still dunno wats going on.. worrying

starting my first aid course tom. hope i dun kill anyone...

still tinking abt tis thing called frenship. questioning the 'value/worth' of the so-called 'the times we've spent together in the past'. i used to treasure those and treasure old frenships. now i'm qnsing. does it matter? bcos it doesn't seem to matter for others. rediscovering.

looking forward to trip to perhentian tis weekend. been planning for it since end last yr when i looked at all the weekends. HA... its finally coming.

did my 2.4km run last wed. horrifying timing!! from 13+ mins mths ago, i degraded to 16 freaking plus mins!!! i'm a slow giraffe.

no input for now oredi. in a state of.... 'no feeling'. :) morning stressed... after observation was in cloud nine and very stimulated after the time w my extremely active class today... now.... emotions all expendited in the day... all gone.... :) looking fwd to meet my bed after watching desperate housewives.

the mouse escaped....

i did not even hear it drop... the apple mouse i was bringing home w the notebook for work. just checked the retail price of it... cost a freaky 50 bucks!

sigh... everyone in sch 'envys' me for hving the cool processor.. but alas.. the price that comes with it....

can anyone tell me where i can get a replacement mouse at a cheaper rate?

Current state: Cant be bothered to really think of loss - too tired.

Memory

1. CATS
Of all the musicals I've watched, either live performances or on computer, there is only one musical I can neva comprehend. And that is CATS. This thing about Jelico cat, a fat cat that looks like Moses, and the shabby cat which got to go out to 'outer space??'

Pardon my ignorance. I still dun understd the plot of the musical. *chuckles* Only thing I take back with that musical - the nice melody of Memory, and the inspiration of continuing with my ballet classes seeing the dancers.

2. Of NIE
I was on the cab going home from church this afternoon. Out of the blue, memory of times spent in NIE came to my mind. Tho everyone complains the course is... urm.... well.. I leave it to one's disgression, one thing for sure, we met nice people, frens we remember even tho we are all to busy to meet up. Those days spent... in NTU's canteen A ... in the computer lab queuing up to get a computer terminal... then, i wanted to be out quickly, to stop 'wasting' time and to meet real people, or at least do something for people. Now, i recollect the memory with a smile.

No, I do not intend to go back to NIE again. I dun prefer NIE days than now. Neither do I prefer these days to the NIE days. I'm just learning to appreciate them... as life goes on...

Current state: frying in hot weather, brain shutdown

proud of my gal

tis gal who encouraged me by stepping up to play guitar for morn devotion despite her nervousness.... who at a point wanted to give up....

she took the effort to prac d song w me yest.... to come early again to prac the song tis morn...

and she did very well ... *applause* *smiles* i'm proud of her, and i'm sure God is too.. because she chose to do it for Him.

first song she ever played for sch assembly was 'Find us Faithful'. May she be found faithful in these little things that she does, and may tis be the beginning of the beautiful journey she chooses to serve Him with music. i am sure this will come to pass.

Current activity: stoning and munching pineapple tarts.

of matchmaking

since friday, THREE pple told me they wanna matchmake me to some pple they noe. its not the first time pple try to matchmake me. But within four days??? different ppl just come along d way and express their concerns tis way... WAT'S GOING ON?!?

Fri, my dear bong srey LD went 'hey my sis asked if u interested in her colleauge (?? i cant rem wat the relationship is lah). he's a teacher, nice guy'.

Sun, ana used this question 'will u date a serious guy?' i went 'i dunno, it really dps. y?' she went ' oh, yest nite was out for wedding dinner. saw JMY's fren, he's tall. and i tink he's nice. but he's very serious...' and so.. it goes on....

TODAY!!! JUST.... my mom went 'u free for a chat?' i went 'well, i'm always busy. but if u wanna talk i'll talk w ya.' she went ' i have a fren.. who asked.... ' and it goes on....

i like to tink tt i dun portray myself as desperate. lol. i'd like to take it as a compliment tt frens only introduce other frens when they tink u are nice. *sweet smile*

its just farnie....

Current state: LOLROF & trying to get back to work.

This weekend....

I did quite a couple of things...

Fri afternn, met up w my bong sreys for coffee in town. LD was as bubbly as ever. :) We had a good time... catching up... talking abt end times.... My bongs encouraged me to pursue further studies... very inspiring to see them... :)

Sat was spent doing work in the day. Evening, met up w GR again! to catch Constantine. One of the comment someone gave me abt the show was "weird", and that it wldn't go down too well w Catholics. Well, i tink it doctrinely speaking (if there's such a term) it wldn't go down well w many religions. lol. but barring this, it is an interesting watch, with good sound & music effects. Bits of dark, despair, peppered with some dark humor. Some resemblance to Matrix, but, a notch higher (or maybe i just got bored of Matrix revolutions & reloaded). Watever it is, its nice to catch a movie that's not boring. :)

Sun. Church. It was a little long. :P But message was 'clean n clear'. Had lunch w Ana, Jmy, Kv & Jrmy. Its not a usual combi of pple tog. But its pretty nice. Been a while since i went out for lunch w old pals after church.

So on the overall i had a good weekend. *smile*

and i did not get to watch the movie...

went all the way to the cinema... and.... no tix!! thanks to GR who tinks tt THERE WILL BE SEATS cos its wed nite. anywayz, he got bashed up .... and i got a free meal. but stil... I DID NOT GET TO WATCH THE MOVIE!!

and i bought a glue gun. for wat? i was tinking wat to do with it on my way home, realized alas dun really noe wat to do w it. lol....

ah... i noe.... SHOOT GR!!!

i am encouraged....

by two of my gals. particularly encouraged because they were from my 'very challenging' class last year. the class tt seriously took up so much energy from me. the class notoriously known by teachers not teaching them. tis year, some of the gals started saying 'i miss you' or 'why are you not teaching us this year'. Some out of plain mischief (i'm sure), some sincerely (i'm sure too) [tho i still qns myself if i've done them any good teaching them english given i'm not trained to do it]. in any case, its been nice seeing them for music only so far. however, today God blessed me with a pleasant surprise to show me that, hey, He's at work.

During the last period I had for the day, these two gals after finishing music lesson came and tell me that they were interested in playing the guitar for morn devotion. See, I just challenged my guitar club gals yest to serve God and the sch in tis manner yest (urm, half thinking, they prob wldn't volunteer, i hv to noe them better and encourage 'forcefully'. Little did i expect them to step up... and from THAT class. These two gals have been nice all this while. But still, to expect gals from THAT class.... *smile* i pushed them further. when i knew they cld play other instruments, i challenged them to work on these instruments to play for chapel. they were apprehensive. so told them i'll train them tis year, next year den play, and they agreed!!! i was just like "oh my God, seriously..." it puts a smile on my face....

other than that.. the week has been work work work. Work is starting to pile up. Half the time i wonder if i can cope, or whether i'll screw up (yeah still tink tis way as and when). but like i say.. i tink too mych.. worry too much over things i can control THAT much...

so... just learning to appreciate the little things in life.. and to take things easie.r.. :) God is good. (its been a long time since i've said tis. i'm still using a lot of 'mind' and less 'heart' to say this... but more 'heart' than previously, bong)

Oh yeah, and i finally 'exercised' yest. How? By walking 1.5 hrs back home from sch. I'm not crazy. That's ME! mua ha ha...

Learning....

How to play mahjong

1. Get a patient tutor
2. Make sure this tutor is willing to teach for FREE (as in, not make u lose money)
3. First two rounds: Play with all tiles OPENED.
4. Get the poor tutor to explain as you play along.

I learnt how to play mahjong last nite. LOL.. oh maybe, in the wee early hours tis morn. Minus the gambling part, its fun because like dty-dti, requires wits. Under the tutelage of my mentors along the way, I managed to 'hu' two rounds (ha, tt's because I'm not the only learner there).

Generally fun because its still new. In case my mom hears abt me learning this game, let me make tis clear: I dun gamble! Am only willing to play with patient pple who urm, are out for fun, a little brain tweezing n no cash or 'rewards/punishments' etc. involved. *laughs*

The best I get out of it, at least now when I watch all the farnie dushen, duhor, duxia or watever, i noe wat they are doing (or do i?!?)

Current State: Fat like bah-kwah

of ECs

i just had a gd evening in EC (east coast) w EC. ha ha. lame, i noe. I usually hv gd times in EC. One of my fav spots. :)

it was surprisingly crowded, but bulk of the population there were non-chinese. they seem to b having such a good time out there, honestly, i'm pretty envious. wat is one thing we chinese lack compared to our frens of other ethnic races in sg? i'd tink its the family n/or community spirit.
DISCLAIMER: not all families, jus my ob. based on my family and those i've seen.

Lets just take my exp these two days n wat i see.

1. my experience on CNY's eve
knocked off home from work early. tried to help out, but wasn't of much help. :) finally dinner ready. sat down to eat quietly. my fav - steamboat. but i did not hv much to say (pple noeing me will go - r u kidding? nothing much to say? *laughs*) finish dinner, wash dishes. den watched a chinese show. at 10, adjourned into my bedroom to do my mails etc. read my bible. slept at 12ish. did not watch the CNY celeb tv show.

2. wat i saw at EC
COUNTLESS tents scattered all over, clothes hanging outside tents (they camping there for how many nites?!?). some kids sleeping in tents. cooking using mass tin. kids playing. adults sitting ard cooking or talking. one family even had a tv brought over!!! EC n i question how they get recept9ion. perhaps it was vcd they were watching, oh well, doesnt' matter.

I wish i get to do wat these pple are doing. tt's my dream kindof family. but alas... oh well... i suppose at tis moment its as good as it gets. :) muz b thankful.

meanwhile, EC n i continued w our ritual of getting drinks from 7-11/supermkts n sitting ard somewhere to talk. it was nice. sat on the sand in front of the waves, and nice starry nite tonite too! (in sg, its considered starry *chuckles*). talked abt many things. things i'm working on now in life, the future, school, our kids today, etc. it was nice just sitting there to chill. thanks EC for ur encouragement. yes, and i'm still laughing my head off at the "i cant imagine u holding a gal with one hand, and another guy beside u, and his face covered by a black dot cos i dunno who he'll be". *laughs* its a farnie pic. u're rite. neither can i.

wat hv come out of this? one more gd memory to add on to the list of memories i hv of east coast. looking at the stars i tell mayself not to be too myopic as well. the future holds the unknown. we all are uncertain and to some extent hold some fears, but i cannot allow the fear to overcome me. yes. its true. i admit it. i tink too much. nothing wrong w tinking. but certain things i tink.... do not quite add on to life. is it necessarily bad? perhaps not. but maybe i shld cut down on these 'philosopical' thots and work on wats there. :)

oh watever... which explains... the change of my blog title. :)

"when we're young we always think we know everything..
and when we get older, we always think we know nuthin"
(Js, 2005)

how much more true can tt get...

i'm good.

in case anyone thinks i'm depressed based on my previous post (or posts), let me clarify, i'm good. *laughs*

1. previous blog was just to straighten out my thots.

2. i only tend to blog things tt hit me more these days and

3. dun human beings rattle more abt negative things than positive?
it takes 1 bad experience for a person to make a complain, and about 1 out of 7 who had good experiences to make a compliment. so tis entry ... well... just to tally that out. *chuckles*

in actual fact, i'm better tis year than last yr. :) God has been patient with me. I noe there are pple who cared cos they prayed for me and reminded me to go to church or read my bible, 'non'-christian included.

i hv been very blessed tis yr. first, english was taken off my teaching load (and that means a LOT). i hv been assigned to a music group as CCA (rather than... urm.. the previous misfit, hee). i will prob b bringing my sch gals for international community service in june, which is wat i really really wanna do! in actual fact, i hv colleagues in sch asking me 'are you happier tis year?' apparently, they did see the difference. one of them even added i had a 'bounce' (literal, cos i bounce when i walk, lol) when i first came back from nepal. lol

all the above... blessings... but i suppose the most impt thing.... tt supercedes the above... wld be cos i hv decided to follow Jesus (again). nope, i'm not a siao onz christian, i'm not a super nice gal. but.... just to decide to follow Him, makes the difference and i noe there's nothing i need to be afraid of.

there are challenges. there are difficulties. my frens may hv left me. situation at home challenging. work.. challenging. my only prayer would be that... i'd learn to see and handle them the way, He wans me to.

so on the overall, i'm good. :)

making sense of the world ard me....

the past four hours has inflicted many emotions and thots, virtually on a rollercoaster ride, so much so that i'm totall confused now.

it was supposed to be a wonderful day. scheduled to meet my bong for breakfast, den a close (?) fren to watch a series... and perhaps hit the beach, or watever.

meet my bong i did. it was a good time sharing. i felt encouraged.

wat happened thereafter was a total nitemare. i was late. so my fren was totally pissed w me. there was some miscom involved, thanks to either my stupid fon or the service provider, probably the former. partly i lost track of time, so i did not respond in time. the afternn appointment was cancelled, by an sms. surprisingly, my stupid fon became super-efficient in delivery that msg to me. wat a cruel joke of life. its been murphy's law for me yesterday. looks like the law still holds on me today.

travelled home. trying to reconcile wat a christian way of handling daily issues like that should be.

made my way home anywayz. got back to.... thot of working on the 'awards' i wanted to make for my students, at least something constructive. before i cld do that... same old conflict w my @$&*#( sister. and i was insulted, again. tis time round, called 'deaf'. as if that wasn't enough, she got my mom into the picture and made me seem like a complete idiot. i was tempted to make a nasty response, but see there wasn't any point to it. just kept quiet, and let things be.

i must admit, i'm particularly emotional today. i'm just totally confused with watever had been happening lately.

*breathes in deeply* just trying to make sense of the world ard me now. *smile* bong says i tink too much. i think, its more like i feel too much. shites, i need to get out of this stupid emotional phase man. i'm tempted to give up and fall into the depths, but there are many more bigger and impt things out there to settle.

meanwhile, how did Christ tackle all these emotional crazes? or does He even go thro these? how do i look at things in life with His perspective?

Home early

today because i got so SO SO upset w two gals that i literally felt like slapping them and like @$&*#(8... so upset that i got a headache.... so hv to come home....

honestly, it wasn't worth being tis upset i admit. i dun even noe wat hv gotten over me. maybe just stressed. or took it upon myself too much. or expected too much from them. *chuckles* my colleagues told me it wasn't worth it, dun be bothered with them... that it was no point... over gals like them.... but.... i seirously tried.... i took time off for them....

frankly, it was easier to sign the papers for them and just release them. "Good riddance" was an adjective used by someone else. Yes, it was easier, but that wasn't the point! They have to learn for crying out loud... Maybe it is easier to just not care. My life will be MUCH EASIER.... less traumatic....

Watever. I shall continue to irritate them and myself. Will be meanie and carry out disciplinary action tom. If I have to become such a meanie to carry my message across, so be it.

Current state: VERY SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY Crossed

Of different professions...

Two professions came to my mind this two days as I look around me.

1. The Security Guard
Friday morn, I saw, the dark siluette of my sch's security guard at the gate, directing the gals to enter from the small gate instd of the one for the cars. I always enter by the other gate, so neva got to see him, or to notice his early-in-the-morn usual motions.

Friday afternn. I was busing home. Took a diff route. Passed by a condo. I saw a security guard sitting just outside the guardhouse on a stool.

I thot to myself, these pple, how are their jobs like? How do they pass their day? What goes through their minds each day as they go through the 'mundane?', 'fruitful?' hours.... mins.... secs...... Was this the job they really want to hold? If so, good. If not, why? Education? Age? given most of them are the retired pple....

2. The 'Pirates' in JB
I was in JB w a fren today (identity will not b disclosed given contents of tis entry). In our 'Katong' area, as expected, as we pass by these 'pirates' they will go 'Ms, wan to watch shows? Come tis way.. we have many shows.'

My fren had to buy dvds for my fren's fren. So we popped in some of these just to do some price comparisons. Much to our surprise, when we gave the name of the shows, they went 'Come inside here'. The door opens... and WOW! i mean... WOW! *laughs* {There's even a cam checking on activities outside} Tis repeats itself a second time at another shop. Did my fren manage to get the stuff? How wld I noe? I went to the bathroom.

We cont'd shopping. Suddenly, the shutters of ALL these 'pirates' shops are down. THey start sitting outside, talking on their mobiles. Business was as usual . They still ask passerbys the same qns. When anyone show interest, up goes the shutter. Prospective customers step in. Down comes the shutter. After some time, up goes the shutter. The customer/shopper exits. Down comes the shutter.

There was a sign on one of the shops saying.... Hiring employees. I wonder.... how are the lives of these 'pirates'?

As for me, I'm still a teacher, leaving my life. Monotonous at times, crazy at times, depressing at times, happy at times, contented at times...

How many possibilities and permutations of lives can there be out there? Only God knows.

My Color

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me!

post-26 December 2004

Humanity shows that it is still very much alive

People become more aware of what's outside their microenvironment

But... ...

Will people also become more indifferent to impacts of natural disasters in the future?

Would they need something of the same or greater magnitude, and visibility to move them?

Life Goes On.......

like it or not.....

i can only do watever i can. circumstances where there's nothing I can do, i can only lift up to my Abba in prayers and trust, at the same time archiving watever memories that might keep me stuck.

meanwhile, life goes on.... and i hv to focus on wat i can work on.... in Him i pray....

My God, what have I done?

An sms... and ends it all....

3 years of happiness, sadness, disappointments, fears, difficulties
of laughter, of tears, of marking, of taking turns to assure each other and all....

An sms... and ends it all....

My God, what have I done?

work reviews...

are headaches (literally) and an absolute waste of time!!!! *squeezes forehead*

Under the influence of drugs....

I'm awake for less than 8 hours today!!!!

Waking hours for today:
9.00 - 1030
2.00 - 4.45
6.30 til now

This is crazy! I'm a sleeping MONSTER!!!

I'm bored now. Have work, but can't do. Scared tonite cant sleep... *sob*

EC....

rem to do wat u supposed to do on sat.

entire nite was spent exploring one of the possibilities i might go for after my bond. the ENTIRE nite.. so much for bringing back work to do.. humbug....

An answer to my qns posted on 1st Jan

What was God's heart in view of the tsunami disaster?

I quote an extract from Chua, M.H.'s article "Where was God when the tsunamis hit?" on today's copy of the Straits Times, which I thot addressed my question aptly (and summed up watever responses i have heard from others):

"Bonhoeffer's famous line puts it thus:'Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of God at the hands of a godless world.'

To paraphrase that, I would say: Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of others in a world seemingly without God.

For it is only through man's compassion that God can be seen in suffering and tragedy."

And I learnt one thing - it takes the step of faith to accept this answer, and I pray those around me (you know who you are) will take this step.

Meet the Fockers

was hilarious.....

so was lame EC... ah ha ha....

Disturbing...

Got some cds from a class during music lesson. Requested for them to bring music of different genres to share just in case I still cant screen Les Mis.

Cld screen Les Mis in the end so told them I'll take a look at the cds and familiarize myself with the genres I'm not familiar with myself first before we hold a sharing at a later stage.

One set of CDs let me feeling disturbed. I shall not name the title, or the performer (s). The graphics in the set is disturbing. Shows a performer loading up his gun, after performance shot at audience. Shows injured... frightened..... and dead audience. Finally, the performer shot himself point blank (or at least it was suggested that happened).

These are things kids today are listening today. Maybe its artistic. Its definitely alternative, somehow. But .... wat is this reflecting?

Current state: perturbed

Highlights of d week....

1. wed - taking my first concrete step towards wat i'd like to do in my life. popped by an VNGO n had a short discussion w the wkers there. not bad.

2. wed - pink ipod arrived.

3. thur - took the wrong bus to sch. reached there on the DOT. journey there... panicky...

4. thur - had to fight for gals to get into guitar club. the process was.... chaotic n excruciating. at d same time, got thrown last min bombs of stuff to work on. almost like tsunami. it hits without warning. watever

5. fri - ana smsed last min to cancel dinner appt. my first rxn while in the staffroom "my fren just cancelled dinner appt... i hv no life". yup, fri nite stuck at home.

6. fri - two rebellious gals on the fon. u noe who u are. stop rebelling woman!

current state: alive, still hopeful, still dazed

Obsolete? Inefficient? Up to date?

my insurance agent just sent me a table calender and small planner....

Which blog title shld i adopt?
1. Obsolete
2. Inefficient
3. Up to date?

Man, i tink i need to sleep.. i'm starting to crack up....

It is confirmed.... ....

I have made order and paid for my new ipod PINK!! :)

Life has been 'good'. Been busy, but happily occupied, tho beginning to feel the toil.

Tis afternn was spent interviewing gals who wanted to join guitar club. I expected chaos.. but there wasn't. out of over 70 gals, i cld only choose 15. I felt bad for the others.. many others i wanna give chances to.. but alas... thanks to the quota or watever i was given, i cldn't... :( strangely, i thot no one was interested in GC cos it has not too gd a reputation in sch compared to the more 'high profile n goodie' music grps in sch. in any case, suddenly i was given so much 'power' in determining who gets to be in the cca they wan for the next 4 yrs.... and at the final stage while ranking the 15 names, its like... i hardly noe them.. just based on impression and description scribbled... i type their names.. hardly meant a thing to me... i suppose tt's when these gals' prayers come to work ey... hmmm...

life without teaching english is seriously.... happier...

anywayz.... i'm getting my new ipod.... i'm getting busy with school.. at the same time, EC n i r looking at getting busy doing volunteer work and getting service learning for our schools in place eventually.

tired... but fairly fulfilled... as for now... i refuse to do work... hehz....

Look ahead, XT, look ahead....

I revisited some of the things which happened last year.... I saw mistakes I've made... This time round, the mistakes came evidently, clearly to me... Do I regret my mistakes? I shouldn't. Because these mistakes are sort of blessings in disguise. But... I can't help feeling blue for that....

Things have been hectic this week, but overall I must say, there are many things I have before me... Things to look ahead to.... There's no room or time to look back, whine and get stuck... Move on XT.... *sigh*

Humbug....

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

New Year

Continuation of the attack of the pink... I just bidded for a pink ipod on ebay. I'm mad, yes, that's what doing SOW til this time of the nite does to one, it wipes out any form of sanity...

1st Jan started out with... no boom... no fireworks... felt really crappy by the time evening hits. did silly things like doing up my 2005 online calender... trying to nap... setting up my webcam (which still doesn't work.. *grumbles*).. just refusing to do wat is urgent.. my SOW and the like. lol. Thankfully, managed to get out at nite w EC n thamps. great to catch up before we all start going MIA hidden under piles of... watever... lol

1st Jan has past. I still have no new year resolution(s). I have slight inkling wat i wanna do in the long term after teaching, but cant see the way. After today, talking to thamps fren, i felt more hopeful. :) still no resolution, but at least a bitta direction. that's good i hope.

tink i can get up for church later? hmm... need another miracle like on the 26th. tis time, a bigger one.

current state: insane

PINK ATTACK!!!!!

I have no idea wat's gotten into me!! Suddenly I'm crazy about pink!!! I've just changed my online calender's color setting as well as my msn's windows' colors to PINK!!! PASTEL & SWEET PINK!!! If I am hardworking enough, i'd soon change my blogger settings to pink too.... wats come over me... gosh!

Questions beyond my comprehension

As the year come to a close, I am challenged with some things concerning the natural and yet not-so-natural world which I haven't found the answers to/resolve.

1. Natural - The Tsunami
I have always marvelled at the awesomeness of God whenever I get to see the handicraft of His hand. Tis year alone, I got to look under the sea, the tallest snow-capped mountains, slugs, and the familiar and new sights of flowers and trees I'm familiar with. The tsunami that just struck the coasts of many countries and islands, causing large scale devastations (an understatement of course!) Like the mountains and coral colony etc, it is natural. Can I say I'm awed by God? Perhaps,..., not really actually.... How are we supposed to look at God's glory in nature in this case? Its nature too... but..... I question at the same time, what is the Father's heart in relation to this matter? How does He look at this event when He allowed that to happen?

2. Natural and Not-so-natural
This is based on my interest on the infinite possibilities of life stirred up by a discussion (slight debate) with DR tis afternn. Its pretty complex and it'll be difficult for me to lay out the points and my final take but I shall make a feeble attempt to here.

Cosmology. According to DR, time is relative (and I agree to a pretty high extent). Each man is bound by time which offers infinite possibilities. That, I agree too. The way our lives take place are tightly woven into the cosmology, meaning, someone out there who's born at exactly the same time as I am have a similar cosmic, meaning, we will have similar occurances in different parts of the world. We might be doing similar things at this very moment, but bound by opportunities and situational factors and the infinity given by time, we might be doing different things, but at some other point of time, our lives will converge at certain crossroads and end up doing something similar.
I never believe in horoscopes because to me, it means that there are only 12 kinds of personalities in the world. At the same time, they serve more as entertainment and possibly self-fulfilling prophecies, consciously or subconsciously. However, the fact that even a machine can 'calculate' accurately (detailed) occurances in one's life {i cant argue spirits if predicted by fortune tellers} makes one wonder about cosmology. The fact that ancient civilizations spread across the earth evidence heavy influence (to the point of dependence) of cosmology surely meant there's something about it more than just useless calculations?

DR's propositions stop at... relativism. The stars sort of influence our path but time is infinite. Possibilities are infinite. But I cannot stop there, because, much as I like what relativism has to offer, there is the ABSOLUTE, who is the Truth, and that is God. I cannot stop at "everything's what you perceive it to be".

I do not claim to know this well. In fact, I'm fairly clueless. But what had been said holds some water based on historical and experiences of people. My take for now - perhaps cosmology does reflect our lives. It reflects but not control/bind our destiny. Because out there (beyond many's comprehension, mine only goes by faith) lies the One who controls the cosmology, the very path and site of each star. That's where the Absolute comes in. That's my take for now - till more is revealed. Like I will have the brains and time to tink further.

Anywayz, I have been mulling over these from 2004 into 2005. Its 12.03am now. Whoever's reading my contemplations and still awake, or lucid *chuckles* Merry new year!! lol... Why merry? I dunno... Blessed new year. :)

oh.... views on these are very appreciated. :)

I Want To Know You

Who are You
You who brought me out of darkness
Who are You
You who gave me life anew
Who are You
You give me freedom and hope in life
I want to know You

Who are You
You touched my soul each time I come
Who are You
You who healed my broken heart
Who are You I call on everyday You are there

Chorus 1:
Jesus, Father, Spirit
I want to know You
Savior, Abba, Counselor
I want to know You

Instrument Interlude

Chorus 2:
Jesus, Lamb of God, Lovely Kindness
You are my Lord

Bridge:
I want to know You
I want to know You Lord
Show me Your face

Chorus3:
Jesus, Father, Spirit
Show me Your face
I want to know You

This my prayer to You O Lord in the coming new year... Who are You?

gingerbread man

i am eating a gingerbread man now. its right leg. mua ha ha....

actually, its weird eating a gingerbread man!! G gave me one on my bday. its so cute, seriously.

i just decided to take it out to munch on. looking at it, i did not noe where to start from! so i started with the left arm. but after breaking it off, two things. one, it does not look cute anymore, in fact pathetic. two, its so weird to be eating a gingerbread man!! i mean, limbs are easier, how on earth does one go about eating its head?!?! so cruel!!!

or maybe, i just think too much...

Good news....

I'll be out of Eng for at least one semester... will be taking another level of Geog instead. :) Still hv to complete eng stuff for this year, but i'm happy enough.... now i dun hv to spend my time waiting ard for pple to be ready.... efficiency has been absent w those i've worked in.. so i'm really glad to move on to Geog. temporal, but good enough. :)

OPERATION CLEANUP

it was operation cleanup most of the day.... decided to clear up my place before new year comes (or work starts tom). see, i'm a sentimental junkie, pun intended for JUNK. i collect junk, like nice wedding invites, outdated presents from frens (2003 calender?!?), nice packagings of my previous mobiles and so forth.

today, i took out a trash bag and started trashing, things that i wldn't notice are gone after trashing. i'm still a sentimental junkie, so there are still things i ought to trash but have not done so. but fairly proud of my achievement compared to previous attempts. so now my room is a LITTLE roomier than previously... :) getting ready for new year!!

Mango sale.... ....

*SHIVERS*

was out w ana for the evening. accompanying her for the mango sale. we went to ALL FOUR outlets in orchard... (to tink i thot i missed out christmas in town, now, a tad overdose *chuckles*) see, i dun rush down to mango sale like many do. in fact, i avoid it. this had been my first mango sale and not many ahead. will only go down for pple worth my company for. :P

had dinner at OD and guess who i bumped into??? some of my music classmates!! after dinner w ana, joined the noise-producing-gang for a drink.. it was nice to catch up again.. to see each other freshened before most of us start our work again TOMORROW... bleah. *laughs*

anywayz, during dinner w ana, we had a good talk. its farnie actually. previously during our last outing, she was worried for me.. worried that i was having such a good time being single i'll neva wanna get settled down. after tonite, she understood that its not that i dun wanna get settled down. its just, i'm in no hurry (because, per-lease, how do you hurry tis kind of matter?) see, if there no one there, den enjoy life as it is!! if the rite person comes along, den i suppose u enjoy life in a different manner? the point is, i'm learning to appreciate whichever situation i'm in. but we also spoke deeper abt stuff, leaving me feel a little bruised. hehz... but tt's life lah huh? well, new year ahead, means new things ahead too. look ahead!! in any case, its always nice to catch up w ana.... maybe i shld just take her advice and 'jump'. lol

i'm still no fan of mango sales... it takes someone i treasure for me to go for them... *chuckles*

Current Mood: bruised

tis yr's Christmas and bday....

when i toucheddown on 23 nite, or i shld say when i got home on Christmas eve, i was like... Christmas, wat Christmas?

In any case, it had been 3 days jam packed with times spent with frens and i must say, as with last year, I am really thankful for my frens, and how God has been faithful despite my faithlessness and unfaithfulness.

24th evening met up w sandfly. found a nice and quiet place w good food. :)

Christmas... managed to 'drag' myself to church. 'drag' because i'm used to not waking early just to go to church. but i noe i have to go. :) it was nice meeting frens. had a short family dinner. after which, met up with my diving frens. they were so sweet, they actually waited til like 12 to wish me bday. by the time i got back it was like 3. but it was a good nite. as usual, they were trying to teach me the 'ways of politics in work'.... having to not only manage my students, but to 'manage my boss'. lol.. but tt'll b a challenge...

tis morn, somehow, i dunno, must b His divine grace, somehow i made it to church, albeit a little late. quite nice to catch up w ana a little. she gave me cookies!! man.. i'm suckered for cookies.. even w sorethroat.. i went on munching (urm, E, i've finished those u baked. :P) had lunch w P. we realized we prob hvn't met up for a meal for 2 years?!? evening met G for dinner. also been a long time since we met. at first were wandering round AIMLESSLY in orchard (yeah, i finally saw the christmassy orchard) til we were both sian but din say anything abt it. den ended up in M9 for dinner. i overate the dessert. :P evening was more subdued than usual, than our previous meetings. guess we've changed? but as i said gal, it not wat we do but the company tt matters. thanks. :)

all in all, i had a good time meeting up w pple... i tink i've put on a couple of pounds... told myself its the festive season plus my bday so can indulge... but urm.. tink i'd better stop man.

oh, guess wat? i got something from my christmas wish list!!! i mean, i wrote it down for fun, not expecting anyone to get the stuff.. seriously, but E got me a dive sausage!!! thanks!!! i'll definitely learn to launch it during my next dive! :)

as i've mentioned to a couple of frens, i'm thankful for the trip. it was a good break, and a badly needed one as some of u oredi noe. :) my prayer was to see God during the trip, and He answered my prayer, in a subtle manner. i still dunno wat holds ahead, wat challenges i might face, how i might respond to them, victorious or defeated, but i noe one thing, that is that He is faithful, and unchanging, and also thank you to all who have been praying for me.

Current mood: Bliss

Of Nepal... Chapter Two

1. Of checkpoints

Level of security at checkpoints intensified with each day I'm there. Has gotta do with the Maoist movement. We got stuck in Pokhara an extra day cos the maoist declared 2-day strike, roads were closed. When we travelled back to Kathmandu a day later than scheduled, we got stuck mid-way cos apparently 10km ahead, was a clash between the maoist n the army!! a bus was bombed.. saw the bombed out bus and another bombed out depression on the road (the day earlier) later when we were finally allowed to pass hours later. BUT I DIGRESS.... lol... see... checkpoints are everywhere... in the beginning, at checkpoints, the army police merely popped in his head into our vehicle and inspect the passengers... Later part of my trip after the insurgence, all the locals who were travelling would have to get down their bus/whichver vehicles and have their baggage searched, followed by a body search. I am not talking abt major airport baggage search. its just any other road... but yes, there are these searches.... and i've neva gone thro such thorough search in airports before... at the airport... i was frisked thrice! (the last one just before we board the plane on the apron!)...had my hand carry thoroughly searched as well!! i was ticklish.. so the security officer who frisked me the second time round at the apron area recognized me. once she saw me.. she laughed... *chuckles*

2. Of simplicity and choices

On the mountains, life is simple. You reach your destination for the day, either relax (if early) or just have your dinner. The sun sets at 5.30pm. Thereafter, there'll be nothing to do. I try to read in my room by the candle, until the cold forces me to stop reading as even my gloved fingers are frozen stiff. Choice of food? Not much. But I liked that. When we finished the trek, back in more 'civilized' areas, I was suddenly slapped with choices... so many choices!! Choice of food... choice of activity... choice of which shop to go into.... choice of what to buy.... Suddenly I was at a loss.... confused... :) I miss my simple life... :)

3. Of sherpas and others

Clearing a misconception. People think that all mountain guides are sherpas. They are not. Sherpa is just an ethnic group. Perhaps why pple mistakenly relate guides/porters with sherpas has got to do with the first man who mounted Mt Everest Sir Edmund Hillary did it with a sherpa? But no, they can include other ethnic groups as well. :) Malang, my mountain guide for example is a Tamang. My two nice porters, Puchong and Nima, however, are sherpas.

4. Of traversing the mountains

According to Lonely Planet (i cannot locate the page), trekking in most mountains means going round the mountain and up. In Nepal however, trekking in the mountains, means trekking UP and DOWN the mountains, LITERALLY. To get to the other side, means I have to go all the way down, and then up. I have no idea how many mountains we've gone up and down. But the most testing one was on Day 2 of trek, from Pottana, 1900m, we went down to approx a 1000m high valley, followed by a seemingly endless ascend (may i emphasize, steep) to approx 2000m peak for rest. I was just glad that wasn't repeated everyday of the trek. *laughs*

5. Of a modern & strong Nepali lady

I met this lady..She's 28, but has seen more than enough of the ugly world a 28-year-old should have seen. At 15, she was married as her husband threatened to kill her parents. Given that her husband was of a lower caste than her, she was ousted out of the house. Now, she's divorced, with two children. Husband used to beat her up, and now has a new wife. She cldn't return home. Worked hard for her children. Just embarked on a new form of 'employment' selling tibetan jewelry so that she can be home at nite for children. Still, inexperience and the fact tt she's sincere and not a tibetan, its difficult in this line. All she wanted, was good education for her children. She may come from the village, not be educated, etc. But the way I see it, the way I hear her, she is definitely a modern, strong and beautify lady...

6. My name is not called 'pen'.

Kids in the village are used to trekkers giving them pencils, pens, chocolates, sweets... so it is not uncommon to have kids passing by greeting you 'Namaste pen?'
'Nameste sweet?'..... I din like wat i see... seriously... wat have we done to kids? anyhow, i only gave away pencils to those who did not ask for it, those who are sincere is just greeting. ... but den again, am i going to be a guilty culprit causing this one child i've given a pencil start going 'Namaste pen?'... i hope not... :(

Of Nepal....

1. Of rapids & drains

We did rafting across rapids. Highest grade was 3+, so no big deal. Out of curiousity, i asked my guide cum instructor whether he knew how rapids were formed. I would teach my students that rapids are resultant features from presence of riverbeds with bands of rocks with different resistance. (or something like that, cant phrase it correctly now). He's answer was interesting.... Using limited amt of vocab, he explained to me that... underneath the river are drains.... Same concept, different expression. :)

2. Of hills & mountains

We started our trek at about 1500m. Technically speaking, we are oredi on mountains. I stood amazed at the endless mountain ranges as far as my eyes can see... my guide Malang pointed out to us when i referred to those ahead of me as mountains... 'Those are not mountains, they are JUST HILLS." To them, mountains would encompass big buddies like Everest, Daulakiri, etc, snowcapped ones.. the rest... could be 3000m in height, etc, but they are only hills in comparison to those rising above 6000m. In sch, i teach my kids, hills are 600m and below, mountains above 600m. Den again, wat gives me the right to tell my guide that he is wrong? He is more right than anyone of us given the context of where he comes from.... where 2000m highlands are considered midgits.... :)

3. Of the smell.... of smoke..

I realized that in Nepal, whether you are in the city, or the mountains, you will smell smoky (as long as there is 'civilization' or, presence of human). However, smokiness can be differentiated as well. In city, the smokey smell comes from incense... offered in temples... in small worship corners dedicated to their gods along the streets.. everywhere... or worse, cremation... (i witnessed one, it wasn't pleasant, more thots abt it later).... In the hills, smoke comes from burnt firewood.. for warmth.. for cooking... Wherever I got, I smell of smoke... but I'll definitely prefer the latter over the former for obvious reasons....

4. Of Karmasutra

This is a joke. I mean, a sad joke lah. At Dubar Square, our self-declared guide Toya was pointing out to the roof of one of the temples (out of the many in that small area!! very bizarre area!!), saying, if you note, underneath that carving is the carving of karmasutra.... I looked hard... very hard.... Looking for something 'sutra-like'. Sutra to me is like.. scriptures? Am i wrong? I DUNNO!! Anyhow, I cldn't find any inscriptions etc.. and i looked REALLY hard.. and I asked him... "Wat's karmasutra?" My travelmate was shocked! Both of them were embarassed... more for me than anyone else.... *chuckles* But hell, I REALLY DUNNO WAT IT WAS!!! only heard of makan sutra wat... so karmasutra shhld be something like karma-sutra (scripture for karma/doing good?) Oh watever. i noe wat it is now.. *laughs*

Many many more thots but I'm way too tired to post for now... Overall, its been a good trip... Amongst the many things, the mountains are my favorite!! :) Still loading up my fotos, will take days to get things done (if i can even find time to!!) Those interetsed in seeing the pics, email me. :)

You are 53% Capricorn

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Nepal.... here i come!!!!

I cant believe my wish had come true.... Unbelievable!!! Din realize that its reality until a couple of hours ago when on my way to change currency... in approx 16 hours.... i will touchdown!! The feeling is quite strange actually. the last time i was away for over a week was last year in Thailand... strangely, i'm gonna miss my frens!!! weird isn't it? always thot i've wanted to be away... but when its here, its so surreal. *laughs*

wat will i come back w? .... ... ....

in any case, final packing done. uploaded fotos n cleared my flashcard, charged the batts, test-walked GR's army boots and it failed the test inflicting blisters, meaning... its trackshoes for trekking...

NEPAL HERE I COME!!!!

Current State: Esctatic

here... and... there.....

a short continuation of yest's blog... in any case, cos of the late nite, EC n i did not manage to run at 6am as we wanted to (well we slept at 4am after watching Finding Nemo while drinking Corona w lemon we bought from Carrefour. It was a chill out and watever rubbish goes nite. lol). The funniest part was, we did not even hear the alarm go off!!! Suddenly, it was bright, i saw her at the door look at me asking 'guess wats the time now??' *laughs* late enough for me to jump out of bed, washup and get out so she wldn't b late for her meeting. anyhow, i was so dazed i wore my running shorts the front at the back! *laughs* and did not even realize it!! walking ard in the house until she burst out laughing... :) man.....

anyhow.... skip watever happened yest since (i baked!! ah ha ha) ... it was late nite again... nonetheless, i managed to get up early enough to meet my godbrother for breakfast. it was a good breakfast as we shared abt our lives here and there. i was encouraged. as usual, i am reminded that i need to tidy up my messy life... and my hope is... by next year... because, i can see the next year a better year, if i stop procrasinating, nuahing (according to bong's words) and 'rebelling'. have been in silent rebellion for too long. the road ahead though, is uncertain... and difficult...

FINALLY got down to my packing and more or less completed. just need to get some cash n change currency and i'm almost there.... actually... by the time i'm back.. the holidays would have ended.... how fast.... *sighz* wat on earth do i wan in my life?

Current state: Sleepy

Date: 7 Dec 2004
Time: 9:56am
Venue: Clinic in Tampines

Waiting for my turn to see the doctor. This is the ‘da-pai’ doctor where you have to wait for hours, which explains why I’m doing my blog here and now.

Finally, I’ve compiled PART of the Eng SOW, while waiting for the doc. This is seriously the best that I can do for now, the rest have to wait til I’m back from Nepal.

Super-duper sleepy now. Just trying to stay awake til I reach home later. *laughs* Yesterday was an amazing day. Was supposed to meet up w JT, my godbrother for dinner, but plans were changed when I realized that I seriously had a lot of things to do for my Nepal trip.

Checklist:
Take foto
Buy stuff for the children there
Clear my memory card n charge my camera batt.
Get extra batts for torch.
Change currency for visa.
Get book and boots from GR.
PACK!

In any case, I was supposed to go and collect my air tix etc yesterday at Chinatown. Managed to drag EC to accompany me down. It was actually more for us to catch up cos we had been running around such that our schedules did not allow for us to meet, so this was the one slot where both of us are in town and sort of available. After meeting up with her for a while at the agency, I sort of know that, hey, just two hours are not gonna be enough. We’ll somehow just stick around for hours. Plus the fact that I realized that I’m SUPER ILL-PREPARED for the trip in terms of the things I need to get, I had to call up JT and arrange for another time instead.

EC and I then planned to get my stuff, go for a run… dinner… Later the plan was changed to get stuff, dinner…. Go my place to collect my stuff and run in east coast in the nite, and I’ll stayover… but by the time I tried out all the little beanie for my head, gloves etc etc.. (totally exhausted!!) and reached my place…. It was like 11 plus!! So no running. We were exhausted… but managed to make our way to her place. Hey, bus 10 and 14 resumed its route on nicol highway. Cool!

Oops… my turn to see doc.. she’s fast today… laterz….

Last 42 hours.....

Many things happened..... but too long for me to expound... so in summary.....

Sat
got up at 6 plus to go for run at east coast w AG. Did my 5km, and that boy... he merely walked.....

rushed down for KY's wedding's 'worship prac'. was a little cheezed off. first i had to be there like 2 hours before that... not to prac only 3 songs.. but... to pray... i noe where he was coming from.. but given my present current state... oh... spare me...

rushed down for KY's wedding dinner. hardly got time to take breather. got like &*^@& to find myself alloted an... interesting.... table. AD was very sweet n swopped seats w me so i cld sit w my 'sisters'...

during the dinner.. i did some 'pao tai' to meet my dive buddies who were just across the road at forum hving a feast!!! some of them were 'shocked' to see me dressed up... see... u dun dress up when u go diving.. lol... after the wedding dinner we cont' to hang out..

RG's car tyre was kindof flat so we drove to a kiosk (SPC - they are bad!!! trust me!!) to pump in some air. den we figured there must be a pinhole which is pretty serious cos it went flat shortly after we pumped it.. so decided to change tyre. bad mistake, cos we did it on a very gentle slope... the jet got deformed halfway, the car almost toppled over!! *shivers* we tried to get help from the kiosk.. they gave lame replies.... called 24-hr mechanic, he said he'll take 45 mins to get there (he was in punggol, and we.. in holland v)... so the car was like tilting precariously .... held by the deformed jet, half out of alignment tyre... and the grace of God.... thankfully a pickup drove in.. we borrowed a 'power jet' from them... and changed the tyre.. *phew*

later had a chill session at CC at liang seah str where we just talked and talked. it was nice cos we started talking abt wat we thot of each other.. it wasn't a 'praise pple session'... we just told each other the good and bad impressions we hv of each other.. nice.... :)

hit the bed at abt 4am... got up next morn at like close to noon!!! :P

Sun
Din go church... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Got up. Read papers.... read book..... slept again!!!

Spent most of day sleeping.... got up... did some touch up to my SOW and sent to my geog HOD. Eng SOW still stuck... its a long story.. basically i just hv to tink how to draft a 'nice' letter to my eng HOD to explain to her i cant get it to her til... urm... when i'm back from nepal... *SIGH*

went airport to collect something from SND. it was nice.. as was all my trips to the airport.. brightens up my mood.... yeah.. this weird thing abt the airport... :) did i ever mention i hv a fetish for airports and planes? *laughs*

went downtown to meet sandfly n GR. chatted... bitched... gossipped... updated.... before we split out ways to go for our various activities ahead - npcc training camp (sandfly), NZ (GR), Nepal (me)......

last 42 hours... oops.. i tink more than a summary oredi. hehz.

Things I learnt today... (since my waking hours)

1. Never change a tyre on a slope.

2. People think that I am a 'strong' woman.

3. I stand by my frens, but can indulge in them too much.

Three main things I've learnt on an eventful day. But its too long for me to blog tonite. Shall update later..... Meanwhile, need to catch some snooze....

share.....

computer dummy needs help....

me tinking of displaying the books n cds tt i own (not tt they are fantastic) on a webpage or something like that linked to my blog so can lend to pple.. IF they wan (cos i dunno wat to do w them after i've read the books/ripped the cds!!)

any smarties can tell me how to do it?

twisted.....

yeah... again.....wat else?.... my ankle... *sighz*

my ankle gave way when i went running the evening before... it was okiez den.... i suppose i've forgotten that the effects will only surface a day or two later... its not painful.... but certainly aching and kindof 'out of alignment' when i walk... not good for trip ahead... but guess i'll just hv to be more careful...

spent the entire day reading... sleeping.... the latter took up half of the day... *laughs*

its back to school again tom... got Eng meeting tom morn... yeah.. eng again... in any case, i have yet to find out how to get to the new holding school!!! tom just hantum.... lol.... hmm.... better wear ankle guard n my track shoes jic........

HMV....

Without fail, every time i drop by HMV, i will spend... *sighz* And I just bought another set of CDs... oredi had to restrain to prevent myself from buying another two!!! Anywayz, I'm enjoying myself listening to it now. Its quite nice... Exotic Moods - Chill Out Sessions From the Far East featuring Buddha Bar and the likes. Question I'm asking myself though.. these pieces are a little 'religious'... so .... not sure whether its 'safe' to listen to them.. but i like.... :-S In any case, must seriously stay away from HMV!!! I'm broke!!

Woke up extremely late tis morn!!! at like 1030?? but its good.. rare that i can wake up late.. as in.. my body clock allows me to wake up late.. spent the afternoon finishing up my geog SOW *smug smile*, ironing my mountain of clothes (yeah.. trust me.. a LOT of clothes).... and guess wat?!? I cooked fish and vege to eat for lunch!!!! HA HA.. pple who noe me noes 1. i eat junk... 2. i'm so lazy i cant even be bothered to go downstairs to buy food, or cook maggi mee just eat biscuits.. dunno wat got into me... 3. i'm so out of touch with cooking.. i was like looking at the fish fillet and wondering wat to do w it...so cooked it two ways.... one, pan fried w butter, salt n crushed pepper, two, microwave w salt n crushed pepper... lol... Anyone wans to give me some advice on how to cook them properly??? But they turned out decent enuff.. at least for me!! *laughs*

Umizaru is a nice movie... we all enjoyed it... given tt we all dive, we found the show engaging cos we can somehow identify w it....

Supper was good... now we wanna start a business to sell bra... ah ha ha ha.... but it'll b fun to work on something... doesnt hv to be braaaaa..... :-P

Hmm..... i really quite like this cd... in fact, more than SMOMA.... maybe its my mood... maybe... its really this nice...light.... relaxed....clear yet mystic.... feeling the songs give me... hmmmm....


Current piece playing: Lotus Flower by Deep River Corp

Interesting day i heard interesting things....

spent the entire afternoon working on my geog SOW... as in, ENTIRE afternoon... aim to finish it tomorrow.. *fingers-crosed*

supposed to go wheelock in the evening for a workshop on imovie... but they were so unprofessional... cancelled the wksshop without informing us!! fortunately my colleague called up and informed me. so changed my plan to meet GR tt early to collect the Left Behind series books from him.. while waiting for him to decide where to go for dinner, i got bored and decided to go running... stamina down all the way.. *sighz*

anywayz, he remembered that there was a chalet booked by EW and so we might as well pop by. waited a while and got a lift from RG to changi. supposed to wait for KR cos she said she'd arrive at 12... little did we noe that.. the wait... ... was till 2!!! gosh..

in any case, had interesting conversations.

first with EW's sis, EV, who was my practicum mate, finally got to see her little baby!! :) It was nice to catch up... she also kena hv to teach eng next year.. poor gal. but her baby was so adorable!!! only 3 months.. but strong!!

den, guess wat? AG Tan was there too!!! We were shocked to see each other.. how many years had it been? She's still the same.. always give the 'scared' look whenever she talks to me.. *chuckles* we used to play in the youth band before, i was like the da jie last time, but my my, she's grown up to become a young lady!! and i must say, very sensible lady.. good.. :) i asked her for a walk to the little playground nearby and we sat to chat. a little awkward actually.. but it was interesting.. after chatting for a while.. she made the comment that.. i seem more 'leng' (cold) now... i was like.. huh? 'leng' as in to people? to things in life? she said 'spiritually'.... sadly, i noe wat she said was absolutely true. who i was years ago when we were together is different from who i am... it wasn't a revelation.. but it was 'surprising' that from a short conversation, it was so evident to her.... *sighz* move on.....

third 'interesting' conversations will of course b with the dive gang... as usual... crap and not so crap. it seems like the 'group dynamics' have changed. as usual, i am having a fun time sitting there watching and observing the changes in interaction patterns as people begin to know each other more (or realize that they dun) and as familiarity starts to change how people value others... unpleasantries start to surface. I'm not saying that's bad. i tink its perfectly natural... but it was interesting to observe since i've been around since the 'beginning' when the group 'formed'. wish i cld expound more on my observation.. but tt'll only get too personal. *laughs*

finally, en route home when RG was sending LDV n me back, we were tlaking abt the schs we attended. as usual, RG thot i was from a gals sch (as many pple thot). but the interesting part was, when he heard tt i was from nus, he was surprised cos he thot i studied overseas... *laughs* another interesting perception others have of me... :)

in any case, its late... and in order to finish my SOW tom.. plus go watch the jap movie.. i'd better hit the sack!! interesting nite.......

The Incredibles.... A**

Absolutely hilarious movie. Brought out much laughter from the a little blue me. Kids, couples n families ard me were laughing away too... Laughing together w others added on to the fun. :)

Did my full payment for trip to Nepal. It is finalized!! :) I am coming...

In Orchard today, the atmosphere of christmas is so evident. The lights... the crowd... the little stalls set up. But usually, the mood doesn't fully set in until you hear carols... I had the full package tonight while passing by the street for a couple of minutes. I miss the 'christmas-es' I've spent as a kid... with my family... as a teenager... with my church youth... I wonder what this coming christmas holds in store...

Just finished the second book of the Left Behind series - Tribulation Force. Book is getting exciting... Cant wait to get hold of the next one!! Currently working on The Song-Writers Idea Book (shuttering between tis and Lonely Planet - Nepal). Its interesting to consider how personality type and brain dominance affects the creativity process and types of lyrics/songs produced. More comments on that at a later stage.

GOOD GRACIOUS!!! Just checked my fon bills.... WAT ON EARTH HV I BEEN UP TO!?!? Double the subscription charge?!?! I must stop talking on the fon!!! DRATS!!

meanwhile... SOW SOW SOW SOW SOW.....

blah blah blah

Rough session for worship today. The sound was horrible.... Someone's effects just went 'out-of-control' creating so much feedback I gave up. I thot one of us overplayed.... P tinks its band leadership probm... spoke to S briefly while he was giving me ride home... how to broach topics like this to pple sometimes? *sigh* anywayz, i was just glad its over....

While out to buy book on guitar n Le Mis dvd for music lessons next yr, i chanced upon tis CD, SMOMA - Songs to Remember... cost a bomb.... but it really sounded good lah... at least the pieces they were playing.. now listening to it, doesn't sound as fantastic. *laughs* You've gotta hear it G, u might like it, well, i mean the pieces i heard while i was browsing in the shop.

Almost bought the le mis dvd... except .... IT WAS SO EXPENSIVE!!! and i was worried the sch wldn't reinburse me... so smsed my 'head'... and to my surprise... i might not b teaching that level!!! *grumble* i neva noe wats going on... wasted so much time thinking.. *sighz*

Highlight of the day: 'bumped' into my student from MPSS on my bus home. I was reading my book. Usually, students wld just take the chance to 'slip by'.... *chuckles* but he actually called me!!! We chatted for the rest of the journey home. It was very pleasant. Taught him geography last yr, 2C1, the talkative class. *laughs* come to tink of it, do 'miss' them a bit. :) I was shocked after we alighted to realize that he was leaving in the same block as I am!!! but he only moved here a week ago, so... *laughs* but it was nice...

December is coming... GB camp over, school planning retreat over.... only left with the SOWs and prep for next year... I'm beginning to feel more relaxed, more human... *laughs* Time to clear up the mess of and in my life (literally and figuratively) before the next craze wave hits...

i wanna watch The Incredibles!!!

What is the meaning of life?

What is the purpose of your living?

F

That's the overall grade I have awarded the trip.... Grade F for the hotel service, Grade F for hotel facilities and maintenance, Grade F for the guide, Grade F for the food....

If this was ever my first trip to Malaysia, I bet you I will never ever step into the country again. Don't get me wrong, Malaysia has a lot to offer, everything just went WRONG this trip.

When I was just commenting to my colleagues, EH asked "I thot you are very rugged sort?"

My respond - Expectations are different.

She replied "Oh, so you have high expectations..."

My respond - No, expecting water supply in a 3* hotel is not high expectation, expecting the food not to be chao sng or not cooked properly is not high expecation, expecting my keycard to work is not high expectation, and this list goes on....

Most of us were SO EXCEEDINLY GLAD to be back home in Singapore, one of the rare times I miss my motherland when I'm away. Din help most of us were sick during the retreat. In any case, in view of Teach Less Learn More (TLLM) initiative by our boss, THIS is a good retreat cum NE lesson.... Good gracious...

I'm going melaka...

its been a while since i've updated my blog... a couple of days ago decided to just browse thro my blog to see wat i've gone thro tis year.. .man.. its a LOT!! thanks to AO who 'inspired' me to go browse my blog, now i'm 'inspired' to start updating it again, so tt when i take time to browse thro again.. i'll rem so many things i often forget... :)

in any case, leaving for melaka in abt 7 hours time.. nope not for leisure.. but for sch planning sessions... just go lor.. but looking forward to my nepal trip in dec.... keeping tis short.. til i'm back... :)

meanwhile... GB camp's over, invigilation's over, packing is done... tt's wat ive been up to.. okie.z. everything is in a mess.. cos my brains in a mess now too.. i need to concuzz........

in the time of pain....

literal pain that is.. to the point i was lying on the bathroom floor.... yeah gross...

but when i was on the floor.. wat was going thro my mind? there wasn't anything i cld tink of... wat had been bothering me for weeks.. or months? at least.. cumulated and exploded over the last few days... suddenly those did not matter anymore.

i was just trapped.... in the bathroom... all by myself... was too weak to call sandfly i was supposed to meet... too weak to get up and out to get panadol and rest on bed instead... just feeling the pain... the only good thing that was there... that i knew.. was tt... i was 'all by myself' with God.... and He was the only One i cld call out to... tink was there for a good half an hour.. *laughs* (yeah, i laugh NOW)...

finally manage to stagger out... seeing black spots all over.. grabbed some panadol... and plopped myself on bed... managed to call sandfly (thankfully her's was the last no. i dialled cos i cln't bring myself to find anyone's name to call)... got her to pray for me.. ...

still feeling weak... but the time when i was all alone in the bathroom.. it was terrible.. but... it was special... i was forced into a situation where i was alone... and can look to none.. but on Him....

in any case, my christmas wish still remains the same. still dunno wats going on... ... ... ... ... just thot i shld record tt special moment.. which i still dunno the purpose of...

My Christmas wish list...

1. dive sausage
2. wet suit
3. camera casing for underwater photography
4. snockel
5. mastering treading water
6. taking my first aid course
7. a long long trip or dive dive dive
8. having the SOWs completed
9. not having to teach English
10. gloves
11. a room of my own
12. my room cleaned up... somehow
13. all my old friendships rekindled
14. knowing wat my future holds
15. brains... i feel stupid n incapable in this competitive world
16. be a lounge pianist
17. end of 3-yr bond
18. freedom... (from what?)
19. noe wats going on in my life now

20. GOD

Somehow, i noe... all the things in the wish list... amounts to nothing... until i get the last one.... and somehow... all the 19 items... doesn't matter... or will be dealt with... once... i'm dealt w by #20..... when will that be?

Space on bus - A geographical study of personality n experiences on spatial preferences ... (Part II)

Thank you pple for ur contributions....

This leads me to the next question... Does where one sit on the bus reflect one's personality? I'm sure it reflects experiences.. as evidenced by some of ur comments... but how abt personality????

Aisle seat means??
Window seat?
Front?
Back?

I like to think that a character study can be made on these preferences... then again,.... i might just be too simple-minded... *chuckles*

Post your comments...

If you board an empty bus (single deck), where would you sit?

Front? Middle? Back? Last row? 'Window seat'? 'Aisle seat'? By the door? ??...???....???

Where?

A quiet dive trip...

Yup. Finally I'm updating on my dive trip last weekend. Thot I'd better do this before I decide not to do it when the buzz of school work pours in...

Generally, a quiet dive trip compared to all my previous trips. Its a small group I'm diving with. Went w my fellow musical geographer as my buddy, she's good company, a v independent buddy.... except... AH HA HA HA... a bit difficult to wake her up!! :P (dun whack me thampies :P) Got to know some really 'ordinary' folks... as in.. they are not 'glamourous'.... 'strikingly good looking' .... 'loud'.... 'extremely funny'..... but they make good company... very good company... :) ... making this a very pleasant trip... farnie how I was so pissed w the instructor in the beginning...

Highlights of the trip:
1. Getting to know Mohammark, David, Stephanie... ...
2. I know what it means to be frozen STIFF. I've always been frozen, but to be stiff (muscles and joints...) .. first time I've ever experienced it... Man I'm gonna bring sleeping bags to all my dive trips from henceforth.
2. Best night dive ever... I touched the cat shark!!! Ah ha ha ha
3. Monsoon's coming in. So new learning challenge this trip is to 'fight' current.
4. This really really adorable little boy. I think he's about 5 years old? I was walking on the beach (yeah, i actually have the time to do that! :) ) and he was near me... Was just standing there... watching him play... He started with a broken piece of styrofoam box.. went to a 'gully' carved out on the sand by water flowing out of the sand (due to a high water table - or so Thampies n I hypothesized)... Steph n Thampies then came along and sort of played with him (sort of because he was so oblivious to wat/who's ard him) Then he started using a half coconut shell (with a hole in the center) to play w the 'gully'... After that, he managed to find an empty metal can.. and played with it.. After a while, he's gotten a little 'kitchen' of his one.. *chucklez*.. When we left for lunch, he was still sitting by/in the 'gully' by himself... oblivious to all... self absorbed in his little world... How nice... I dunno.. the sight of him playing... happily... with no cares or worries... with the minimum, making use of watever that is available... it tugs something in my heart... *smile*
5. I was Mohammark's jinx. First I slipped at the dive platform and my tank fell on his toe. Then, I accidentally turned off his air... :-P

It was a different experience... And on the overall, tho I laugh less, it was good... :) Makes me wanna get really serious into diving and move on to rescue. :P

Money sunk into the deep blue....

Okiez... won't write abt my trip as yet... Just making a calculation of how much I've spent on diving alone since June...

OWD course (Jun) - $430
AOWD course (Sept) - $420
Leisure dive (Oct) - $320
Leisure dive (Nov) - $265
Gears - $240
Misc - $ 50
=======================
Total $ 1725


OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!

Life.....

I'm going for my dive tom. Was excited and happy for the past few days.. until 5 hours ago....

What have I been up to these while? Thinking about a lot of things... Thankfully nothing emotional... Just a lot of things to work out n check out ... Nepal, SOWs, getting my scuba gear etc.

Had been invigilating for this week... its..... BORING. *yawnz* The way I look at it, it pays for my dive gear... to keep myself from going insane. 1 1/2 more weeks of that to go...

Decided finally that... I'd after all not go to Nepal. Reason: I have no time. I have to work on the many SOWs for the different levels of music and for geography. I wanna be prepared for the next year so that I can focus on other matters rather than preparation. Strangely, the reason had nothing to do with safety of trekking alone in Nepal. Call me stubborn.. whatever.. sigh.. the lonely planet has gone to waste... for now.

Considering if I should take up a classical Indian music class... considering whether I shld pick up the sitar, tabla, or flute. But I shall wait til next year's schedule.

Spent a bomb today on my dive gear. Got my mask, weight belt, booties, fins and mesh bag. It feels FANTASTIC to own my own mesh bag of equipment!!! Sense of.. achievement.. ah ha... was happy.. and excited.. until...

I had to drop by the dive shop last minute due to some silly screwups they had in order to try my wet suit, BC n reg. Sandfly n I got cheezed off after we overheard a rude comment the instructor made. I wasn't angry angry... but pissed off... and all I could think about w. r. t. that instructor is... F*** OFF!! (sorry. I was really pissed). He even asked whether I wanted to bring the rented equipments home and bring it tom with me.. i'm like "wat the.... hello..." In any case, he asked me whether it was the first time I was diving w them. I replied yes, having to bit my tongue so hard in case 'and the last time too' slipped out of my tongue. Now I dun look forward to seeing that @$#&* (i ran out of vocab word to describe him, more like i cannot be bothered to think which category he comes under) during the dive... I mean... I am trying to put this away from my mind so I can enjoy my dive... We'll see...

Haven't packed. Too tired to pack. TOm will be a day of meetings... and i hope i can make it back in time to pack!!!

Meanwhile, I hate the way I do things sometimes. I dunno... usual... I noe wat is missing in my life... and I noe why I'm feeling the way I am. I've tried... Maybe not hard enough? I don't know. Why is there such a big dicotomy between a 'spiritual christian' and a 'worldly christian'? Meanwhile, I'm having 'fun' partly.. while it 'sucks' partly...

Booboo strikes again...

Got my dates mixed up.. went for the wrong module for training.. instead of going for mangrove n data mgmt.. ended up in intro for field techniques for Pri sch... *laughs* *cries*

still looking for travel buddy to nepal... :(

Time well spent...

just came back from dessert w G after the church's anniversary service... we got pretty cheezed off w the servers in a parti coffee place in taka... that we were on the verge of blowing up at them....

we were talking abt the company of pple we have been hanging out with in our own lives... and realized that there are things we need to work on... :) in any case, i'm glad tt i'm beginning to spend time with impt pple rather than laughing my evenings away....

need to lose some pounds.. hv been eating a lot... btw, din get to jog in east coast.. as anticipated... it rained...

just realized i'm not only computer-jinxed.. i'm also blog-jinxed!! this is the THIRD time i'm entering this entry.. and i'm trying to stay patient... well.. to play safe i was advised to copy and paste... and while i was blocking out the words... before i cld click on ctrl-C, the entire entry DISAPPEARED!!! not once, but TWICE!!! *faints*... *patience.. patience*... blog-jinxed....

lately, hv been reflecting and searching abt my purpose n direction in life... find myself torn between... living for the moment and enjoying life... vs.. living my life in view of eternity.... well... the fact tt i'm starting to struggle may signify that i'm moving (in the rite direction i hope!!).. i can only pray for God's mercy...

Chilling....

Did not go out tonite... supposed to go out.. but it rained... tom hv to be up early for GB (meaning... nitelife is quite curtailed)... etc etc.. so decided to just stay home.. rot.. chill.. whichever..

Spent a little time talking abt the weirdest topic w Js *laughs* and my canoeing buddy.. dive fren... and another fren... its nice.. not doing much... have been a little more laidback these few days... cos school load slowed a little these few days.. next weeks will be more hectic again... :)

I hope to run in east coast tom. Its been a long time since i've run there... the last i ran there was months ago, before May!! either with EC or DR, i can't rem who. Tom, if i get to run (if it doesn't rain, that is), i'll be running alone. I haven't run in east coast alone for a long long long long time.. but i tink it would be nice.. :) some time alone... I hope it doesn't rain tom....

East Coast...

Who have been my running buddies in East Coast...
lets see.. I started w G, den there was J, Chee and Tong, there was EC, there was DR...

What have I done there before?
There was a camp for the Methodist Primary school kids i was helping out when in sec sch at the PA campsite where in the middle of the nite a storm brew and tore down some tents... caused blackout from the lightnings.. causing us to evacaute our tents...
There were the numerous bbq sessions held in during secondary school days...
Did my rubbish field studies for NIE geog module....
A place I've 'dated' a couple of guys.... hmm.. usually ending up watching planes
Attempted learning cycling (of which i failed, only to master the skill in cambodia)..
Of course there were the twice a year family outings as a pri sch kid.. i'd bring my little green pail... my sis wld bring her bigger red pail... :) I would pick shells.. bring them home to wash and keep.. mom will bring her fried beehoon...
the chatting w all my different running buddies.. all sorts of topics...
Oh.. not forgetting the couple of sunrise services, one of which we were caught in a heavy rain...

've seen many more beautiful beaches outside singapore. Krabi, AoNang, Raley, Tioman, Dayang, (just some i rem off hand)... but... when in singapore... east coast.. is a place i like to be... many memories.. it was flooded on my 21st bday cos of dunno wat increase in sea level/tide!! okiez.. tt's not part of my memory.. *laughs*... but east coast.. seeing families... seeing the not so nice horizon, sand, sea... just.. nice... and peaceful..... (other than when i'm cycling!!)

Corny...

This was supposed to be yesterday's post. But due to the #@#^&**, I am attempting to post it again... but.... much will be lost as i will not repeat watever i've typed yesterday. I'm just gonna enter the most... 'interesting' thing which happened.

Early in the morning, i brought a book down for silent reading during assembly. HOwever, straight after flag raising before i got a chance to read the book, two gals came with another gal who had swollen eyes and running nose. I got swollen eyes when i was younger once, and it was due to allergy, so i thot it cld probably be that. so i brought her to the office, called her parents, signed for her the sick bay form etc etc... den went upstairs.. went to the restroom and suddenly it occurred to me that i hv left the book on the teachers' bench. so i went down to check whether it was still there.. it wasn't... i asked the teachers who were ard then, they din take it up for me. One relief teacher (WPP's wife!!) was sweet enough to bring me down to show me where the lost n found box was.. but it wasnt there. i was feeling quite upset and more sian than any other thing cos the book wasn't mine - borrowed it from EW. So i told some of my colleagues tt i felt very sian cos i lost a book which wasn't mine.... so SLN asked me... 'What's the title of the book?"

I thot for a while and went... 'urm.. its very ironic... the title is LEFT BEHIND'.... all my colleagues laughed.. i mean.. how corny can it get? LEFT BEHIND got left behind?!?! So given the book talks abt tribulation n rapture, one teacher commented.... it will be back .. i mean.. alrite.. corny... okiez not very farnie on blog.. but when the conversations were on.. it was.. realyl hilarious lor.. in a corny manner. fortunate thing is i checked the lost n found box again a couple of hours later.. and it was left there... thankfully....

other than that. .in short.. wat else got erased? oh... promotional meetings (which i din noe was held on tt day!!)... i was appalled to discover the kind of thigns and decisions made behind closed doors.. other than tt.. met up w sandfly for the first time in town NOT WORKING!!! ah ha ha...

okiez.. watever.. i'm tired again.. man.. i really shld do something abt my 'sleeping requirements'. i'm losing out in waking hours because i need 8 hours of sleep.. irritating....

and of course.. before i post this entry.. i'm gonna do a copy and paste JIC!!!

Frustrated....

This entry was supposedly titled Corny.. supposed to be farnie.. but not anymore... because after typing a long entry, blogspot just somehow... did not upload my entry.. and... LOST IT!!!!

ARGH!!!! so now i'm frustrated.. from farnie to frustrated.. #$*#&*(

I suck......

I have been a bad friend.. or I haven't been a fren...???

I've been spending a lot of time with my friends, doing a lot of things together... movies, JB, marking, dinner, etc etc... Sometimes I spend time with my frens on the pretext that i'm accompanying them... listening to them and trying encourage them... BUT... it seems to me tt... wat i hv offered them is.. just material things tt i can afford... time.... words... company....

One of a social theory says tt... we give out as much in relationships based on wat we expect/perceive to receive. As i gave, i gained company as well, acceptance, listening ears from others... Is that all that i am? this selfish brat i am? i suck.... when did i realize tt?

Friday nite... I was out marking w sandfly. she told me she had actually paid for a 'fortune telling session'... which would take like 1.5 hours so i was supposed to wait for her (well.. it took THREE long hours in the end...) but the point was tt.. i told her i'll go to the shop w her and i'll do my marking while waiting for her. she was worried i'll be uncomfy there noeing my stand on these things.. but i told her doesn't matter. i'll do my work...

den when she went in for the session, i was on the outer area of the shop marking.. while marking.. a thot came to me... i shld b praying for her... wat did i do? i thot "God, pls take care of her huh?" and...... i went back to my marking...... there.... was my fren.... and here i was... den yest nite when i was on the fon w her.. we were sharing out troubles etc.. and she said actually when she was in the room, two things went thro her mind. one of which was: is sheryl praying for me outside?

i suck... sigh....

wat do i offer my frens? my new frens of late? company.. laughter... just as they offer me the same... but have i more to offer them? I hv the biggest and best thing to offer - God.. but... where have i done that? maybe its gotta do w my own struggle to find my place back in Daddy's arms... but.. yet ... and for my old frens.. so many of them.. hv i even been in contact with them? have i cared abt how they have been? NO!!! ... I SUCK!!

Dedicated to all the markers...

Deck the desks with piles of papers

Falalalala Lalalala

Tis the season to be marking

Falalalala Lalalala

To my dear pals marking out there

Falala Lalala Lalala

We are in this mess together

FALALALALA LAAAAAA LAAAAA LAAAAAA LAAAAAAA....

laaaaaaa......... si...........

I got up early than usual... thanks to the extra lassi i went for last nite... ah ha ha.. but better early.. than during invigilation!!! So i'm thankful to God for that... *hehz*

Yesterday went out w the dive grp to hv curry at racecourse road.... been wanting to try curries at racecourse... finally... our dear fren RG ordered a tad too much... and ended up... well.... i was trying to serve out all the fish in the curry so it wldn't go to waste. heh....

there was a 'second round' for ktv... i'm not a ktv person.. sometimes go for company.. but yest nite.. was not in ktv mood AT ALL... but in a sense dun wanna be 'shao xing' so just tagged along for a while... at least i hv my buddy LN to talk to me... so it wasn't too bad....

Feeling for now.... bleah.... also dunno y.... actually i tink i noe y... *laughs* but bleah den bleah lor... life goes on doesnt it?

Meanwhile.... wat shall i do today? its friday!!! mark.... :-S

Sleep deprived and narcosed and pleasantly dreamy....

too tired to blog.. to many things to blog.. in short, refer to Esther's blog. MUA HA HA HA.

Other little things in the dive:
1. I had FOUR buddies this trip.. good gracious..
2. CORAL SPAWNING!!! can u believe such luck? but also mean v low visibility of abt 4m n weird white stuff sticking on us.
3. I am a fairly decent 'hoverer' now. mua ha ha. next skill to work on: finning
4. I dropped my no. of weights (thanks to some inconsiderate person who took my weights from my weight belt. blessing in disguise. ah ha)
5. I touched a frenly turtle!!! Its crazy... lol
6. Finally got to see closeup the infamous moray eel the whole world has seen.
7. Got dumped into the sea even tho i cant tread water.. *grumble*

Great company. Great food. But it means... weird to be back in a 'different' world teaching in less than 8 hours after arriving back at newton. *laughs*

Hugs n kisses to lovely gals like Es, Sandfly, Kris, Ln, EV... not forgetting my fav boys like J, EW, LDV (quite a mouthful to pronounce), RG (who offered to mark my papers during dive).