Life.....

I'm going for my dive tom. Was excited and happy for the past few days.. until 5 hours ago....

What have I been up to these while? Thinking about a lot of things... Thankfully nothing emotional... Just a lot of things to work out n check out ... Nepal, SOWs, getting my scuba gear etc.

Had been invigilating for this week... its..... BORING. *yawnz* The way I look at it, it pays for my dive gear... to keep myself from going insane. 1 1/2 more weeks of that to go...

Decided finally that... I'd after all not go to Nepal. Reason: I have no time. I have to work on the many SOWs for the different levels of music and for geography. I wanna be prepared for the next year so that I can focus on other matters rather than preparation. Strangely, the reason had nothing to do with safety of trekking alone in Nepal. Call me stubborn.. whatever.. sigh.. the lonely planet has gone to waste... for now.

Considering if I should take up a classical Indian music class... considering whether I shld pick up the sitar, tabla, or flute. But I shall wait til next year's schedule.

Spent a bomb today on my dive gear. Got my mask, weight belt, booties, fins and mesh bag. It feels FANTASTIC to own my own mesh bag of equipment!!! Sense of.. achievement.. ah ha... was happy.. and excited.. until...

I had to drop by the dive shop last minute due to some silly screwups they had in order to try my wet suit, BC n reg. Sandfly n I got cheezed off after we overheard a rude comment the instructor made. I wasn't angry angry... but pissed off... and all I could think about w. r. t. that instructor is... F*** OFF!! (sorry. I was really pissed). He even asked whether I wanted to bring the rented equipments home and bring it tom with me.. i'm like "wat the.... hello..." In any case, he asked me whether it was the first time I was diving w them. I replied yes, having to bit my tongue so hard in case 'and the last time too' slipped out of my tongue. Now I dun look forward to seeing that @$#&* (i ran out of vocab word to describe him, more like i cannot be bothered to think which category he comes under) during the dive... I mean... I am trying to put this away from my mind so I can enjoy my dive... We'll see...

Haven't packed. Too tired to pack. TOm will be a day of meetings... and i hope i can make it back in time to pack!!!

Meanwhile, I hate the way I do things sometimes. I dunno... usual... I noe wat is missing in my life... and I noe why I'm feeling the way I am. I've tried... Maybe not hard enough? I don't know. Why is there such a big dicotomy between a 'spiritual christian' and a 'worldly christian'? Meanwhile, I'm having 'fun' partly.. while it 'sucks' partly...