they say they'll make it hell for me... I will try to bring my bit of heaven to them....

Remedy 1 with food did not help. Got me sick instead. *chuckle*
Remedy 2 with sleep did not help. Cos it came too late. lol

This is not a remedy... Or is it? oh, watever. This is what I have made up my mind to do yesterday. I can either lament, whine, grumble, pity myself about it; blame it on students and wonder about the perceived maliciousness of students; adopt a defensive approach and just go to school, prepare lessons and get them over and done with (meaning, forget about motivating them and finding new strategies since it doesn't seem to be worthwhile), or I shall continue to choose to consider the well-being of the entire class and not 'condemn' them to be unworthy of my efforts and heart. I have chosen the latter.

See, technically,it is the same thing. I'll still have to turn up in class, and teach. However, it is entirely different right from the root of teaching. I have chosen this path because I want to make a difference, however small. If I'd continue to delve in my own feelings, there is no way I can do what I started out wanting to do. I'm glad I did that. Even though I saw many blank pages in the test today (with students honestly confessing to me they did not study when probed), I saw smiles and guilty faces (for handing in the blank sheets). The situation is probably not as bad as it seems to be... I still have no idea how to motivate them. Frankly, if I were in their positions, I see no point in studying about oil palm!! I can only do my best to show them that learning does matter... that values do matter... that... i do not discriminate/pick on them (like some may perceive me to).... question now is, how else to bring my bit of heaven to them? in so little time too?

I dunno wat i'm talking about oredi. lol... but i'm glad i made the choice to try to bring my bit of heaven to them... its either that.. or me really living in the 'hell' they wanna make for me... i dun tink i'm stoopid... lol.. so of course its heaven. :) and I think my Daddy up there is happy too... *smile*