so many things happening i dunno where to begin...

when do i noe its time i go for a hair cut?
1. last dec, when my sis who JUST gave birth (within 24 hours) saw me, of which her first words were 'your hair looks very dry, you should go cut it'.
2. within the last two weeks, two grps of students over separate occasions went:
kids: ms so-and-so, your hair is so long, why don't you go cut it?
me: i want to! but i have no time.
kids: we'll cut it for you! for free!
me: urm... no....
kids: now your hair so long like go for advertisement (i take that as joke, because my hair is dry).

anywayz, FINALLY, i just had a hair cut. like layered off almost half. ok that's too much. easily a third of my hair. now it just feels so light. shiok. much shorter. :)

Sept holidays are coming. Just last year during the same period of time i did my lasik! tis sept, i'll be diving w sandfly! :) and going to KL for two days w haz. awesome. totally looking fwd to it.

so wat else has happened?
my dear bro P got married. their wedding service was 2 hrs long, the longest i've ever attended. dinner was the latest, which started at 9pm and ended, hmm... close to 12am. *laughs* they've got a hilarious video clip presentation during dinner.

hvn't been exercising.. sigh.. but snacking a lot... double sigh...

cant say life hsn't been 'interesting'. i've just entered a new season of life, which to me, is actually a faith journey. it hasn't been smooth all the way. but i'm learning.

i just got 'chosen' to go for the trs' day rally tmrw. *grumbles* an evening gone. luckily i've gotten shrn to go w.

actually doesn't seem like so many things now. well, i'm waiting for project runway now!! wonder who'd win. santino must not win. i'm rooting for chloe! :)

women - stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

This is about three women.

ST can't take spicy food. When in Thailand, day after day, she attempts to order the papaya salad, 'mai-pad' (non-spicy). Day after day, the papaya salad that was served.... STILL TOO SPICY. EC only laughs at her stubbornness.

GW is allegic to fish, and fish cake (and otah, get the pic?). Few days ago during her visit to sg, she took fish cake. Ended up itching all over. EC n ST brought her for katong laksa today. She ate up the fish cake in the laksa and stubbornly ate the otah claiming that there's also otah in thailand. Minutes later, she started scratching herself.

EC laughed at ST and GW at their stubbornness. But she's no exception. While shopping for stuff for GW to bring home, EC bought dried mangoes. Mangoes in vinegar gives her rashes she calls continents. Dried mangoes are only slightly better. Just need a larger dosage to trigger the formation of continents. EC stubbornly bought the dried mangoes. ST and GW had to help her finish eating while walking.

WOMEN... stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

an eventful day

national day celebration in school
as per the past 2 yrs, i hv to lead community singing. the one in the parade was tough. imagine singing to the empty basketball court, with the students in classrooms behind u, far ahead of u and one corner of the basketball court. u get the point? a bit like gotai like that. lol
concert was much easier. how so? the gals were oredi so high so its not tough. i'm the sort who feeds on the atmosphere, so i was pretty high myself. lol. it's a 'virtuous' cycle. i can like shout to make it higher. feed on the atmosphere, get higher.. and so forth. after tt, pple dun believe i was nervous and hving cold feet before i went on stage. SERIOUSLY i was. but it was farnie. when we were abt to finish the list of songs to bring the mood to a climax, a note came to us. 'sing another song, food not here yet'. and we just got scraps of paper everytime a song was about to end. sing this. sing that. the climax was just up and down cos they were just trying to get the song tracks at the other end, and tes n i just had to stand there and look happy and cont as if nothing had happened. it felt like there's a war going on there, but we just have to look happy and good. AH HA HA HA.
anywayz, ag n haz dressed me up. it was fun. i got my white pants, and a white top tini gave cndy and cndy gave me long ago, which i chunked into my drawer until the nite before i suddenly recalled, hey.. there's this white top.... ag supplied me with her cute red belt, earrings and choker. haz got me orchid clips and did my hair. it was fun! i felt loved.... *sobs*
i was really happy not from pple's feedback tt the singing was fun for the kids. but shrn came to me and say that my class, like MY CLASS, the nonchalant ones, were the first to stand up during the community singing! and they were the ones who shouted encore. i din noe who were the ones who shouted 'go ms soandso' but... to hear that my class was supportive... i was so happy.

Sec 4 farewell @ EC
the pits were much further than expected. i bladed there w NR and a kid. the rest cycled. man, we had to pass by the killer slopes @ lagoon. i wanted to sit there and die. lol. but managed it. the farewell was fun. could hv improvements definitely. but not bad lah.

worship prac
and guess wat? i'm gonna do backup tis week. lol. they caled me last min when i was oredi out w my kids. short of singers. so i just went ok. kindof regretted a bit when i realized its TWO services. cos it was last min, i din hv stuff to change into. fortunately, haz bladed by the bbq pits later half. and just trying my luck i asked her 'u got extra top?' SHE DID. a tad small for me, but at lesat its clean for me to wash up and change into before i went for the prac. nice... got an unexpected note from a fren while i was @ HC's place washing up... but due to rush, cldn't tackle the issue. but good, cos not a good time to tackle it. prac ended EARLY. like at 10.10. WOW.

anywayz, it was really eventful. haiz... now just happy i can rest... but of course, i hv two weeks worth of ironing to do given i was busy the last two weekends. eeks...

fireworks....

i used to catch 'live' fireworks from my flat since young every national day. but usually i see 'half' the fireworks due to flats blocking. apparently, buildings get higher, so i dun even see a third of them now.

tis year however, i've gotten 'pretty close' to 'live fireworks' over three occasions so far.

1. new year's day
that was fun. i remembered. w AO n his pal, on the road @ cityhall area, stuck on the road w pple wathcing fireworks too... and on the fon w aom and tik etc.

2. closing of national arts fest
i did not expect fireworks. it was @ CCK. there was a nice performance by a spanish grp. i've neva been THIS CLOSE to fireworks EVER BEFORE! awesome.

3. today, during intermission of the concert, fireworks! i happened to be out w EC n Kaew when suddenly 'BOOM!" it all begun. it was a disappointing start. i thot it was crap.. but it progressed, WOW. pity i missed quite a bit cos of the trees. but for those high enuff.. man, they've really gotten new stuff this yr for NDP. i saw @ least 4 new differen ttypes! awersome

meanwhile, the scab on my knee kindof accidentally got brushed off. man... scar. drats. CONCERT IS OVER! and i'm seriously relieved. there's still the NDP. but i dun care.. i'm just gonna chill tmrw. bringing kaew out.

there was a 'split second' thing that happened yest when i went to watch a musical @ stvn's sch. ha ha.. LL asked me to pray for a sign. AH HA HA...

tired.....

wat a day....

woke up from an exhausted week. ag texted me for lunch @ arab str. so thot i might as well bake for her, ana and fel when i go for jazz tonite. so baked.

went to arab str to hv a nice lunch w ag. i bought a really pretty dress! ag and ana says it was a steal at 20 bucks. but i paid almost that amount for a matching belt. LOL. so much for a steal. but i love it and look fwd to putting it on, after ana does some magic to make it fit me better.

met fel and hmd @ sentosa. fel n i went for a dip in the dirty sg waters. i cant believe i actually went into it. but nonetheless, who cares, as long as it feels good.

jazz tonite was horrid. it wasn't jazz. it was more blues and rock. they said its funk. i dun tink so. the 'lead' singer was omigosh.. in my words a tree trunk. total eyesore. i thot he was a poser. i mean, music-wise they are seriously not bad. but lack showmanship, particularly the tree trunk. i'm not sure if he tink he's cool that way... but its just hard to enjoy a performance when u look and right at centre stage is someone who cant literally MOVE to the groove.

anywayz, there's only so much blues that one can take in a day. it just sounds the same after a while (unless u hv a super zhai band). so hmd, fel n i decided to go to the musical fountain halfway thro the jazz perf. (we got inspired after we spoke to two american tourists and suggested they visited the fountain.) fel broke her slippers. so, to show wat frenship is all abt, hdm n i decided to go ard w her barefooted. so, without our slippers, we went to the carpark (i cldn't help leaping as if i was doing ballet. everytime i go barefooted, i just feel like dancing. cant help it!)

waited for the bus to sentosa. stv just arrived. but we left him @ the terrace w the kids he brought along. board the bus. an indian fatherly guy (with his family) saw us barefooted as we squeezed up the bus excitedly. i was trying to capture our feet on my camerafon. and he laffed a bit. we were happy he laffed. lightens up the mood. everyone's relaxed n happy. when we reached the musical fountain, the driver announced 'ferry terminal, musical fount...'. spontaneously, fel, hmd n myself just went 'YAY'. so the driver responded with '... fountain, YAY'. lol everyone on the bus laffed. it was nice...

like kids, we ran all the way to the fountain. it feels nice. with the breeze, nite time, open skies, stars, little lights, fountains along the way, we just ran... and laffed... ran and laffed... as if that place was our secret garden... and the musical fountain did not disappoint us. the entire mix of being barefooted, two pony tails, fantasy and magic music plot of the fountain, and the physical landscape... totally made me feel like a kid all over again!

den we squeezed on another bus and went back to siloso beach to meet stv n his kids. had to endure more of those music again. finally... we made our way out of the magic island....

BOOBOO... usual... i see one thing.. my brain thinks of another thing. i misread teh bus no. got up the wrong bus. instead of taking the highway, i ended up touring sg's town area. man..... it totally doubled the time taken to go home. but i'm grateful at least the wrong bus i took do take me somewhere near my home, rather than somewhere i'm totally lost. so it cld hv been worse. BUT... when i reached where i shld alight, I MISSED THE STOP. tell me abt booboo.. when it rains, it pours... and at the same time on the bus, my mom called and we had a sort of 'argument' which left me just frustrated. anywayz, i decided to walk home from the wrong busstop. it was a about 25 mins walk.. but i did it nonetheless. ( i just walked from geylang to stadium waterfront yest cos i lost my way again. wats wrong w me).

so now i'm home... tired... tired from chilling.. gd gracious.. but i'm happy i had a day off... before... AH HEK HEK HEK.. dun wanna tink....

princess of a magical island...

"barefooted, we roamed our little island, venturing into the little discovered nooks and corners. the sensations from the different textures of the ground makes me start going into hops, twists and turns, prancing and dancing ard like a ballerina. we took the bus, filled with people from different walks of life, and brought some cheer to them with our own from the sense of being free to express ourselves. that, brought a smile to myself everytime i tink of the smiles we brought. we arrived at a place where i recall, yet unfamiliar from distance in time. it was quiet. it was grand with carefully crafted symmetry, pillars and fountains. we ran, and ran, towards the unseen ahead, which we knew promises us more magic. running fwd and upwards in the cool, with darkness interspersed with beautifully-liting, we reached where we noe we will gasp with more wonder. the swaying strings of water dancing to the beat of the music, fireballs hurled into the sky, and the colors of a fantasy island, i found myself truly feeling like a princess of a magical island..."

YOYO

1. emotional yoyo
taking my form class is liken playing with the emotional yoyo. one day they are up, next day they are down. being complete human, i cant say i'm not affected by their mood swings. stepping into class n u can sense the 'qi'. the last i wrote abt my gals, they encourage me. since then, major downswings hv occurred, completely draining me of my emotions and energy. each time one hits me like this morn, i am so reminded that i have to be strong within, if not, i cannot help them. in their instability, they require stability and i hv to be one of those. of course, i am reminded too that this strength and peace can only come from Him.

2. mental yoyo
work is just so.... multi-faceted. it is so totally true that there's not one day in a teacher's life that is boring. Within a split second (ok, that's exagerating), within mins, at the 'call of the bell', 'call of the student', 'call from the office', etc. etc., suddenly you change your role completely., have to switch one's brains from one mode to another. Just today, i juggled between marking for a couple of mins, dealing with a discipline case, running the concert rehearsal, counselling, teaching geog, teaching music, tackling colleagues and a DEMANDING instructor.... that doesn't include having to draw from scratch a stage layout, take the contractor's measuring tape and measuring out the school hall, and directing gals to tape out an imagery stage on the floor yest. doesn't include being the 'judge' in auditions for dsa i was like informed real last min. and the list goes on. in a snap of one's fingers, you just hv to change ur mode. sometimes it works. sometimes, it still doesn't work.

3. personality yoyo
ok... i tink i'm a super candid person. a 'real' person. tt's something i pride myself in. tho... i tink sometimes i do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut and hold back some of my outbursts of emotions and actions. BUT... in sch, i can suddenly become a task-oriented person. i'm a v pple-person. hate taking charge. hate running stuff. but if i hv to do it, i realized i 'yoyo' to become this authoritative person. totally drains me out. but yeah.... tt's wat happens in sch... tt's wat happened today. can u imagine me trying to organize a bunch of over 200 kids today and tackle a DEMANDING instructor? sometimes u just gotta be mean.

just totally exhasuted.... waiting for sept to come... no. just waiting for the next two weeks or so to pass.

i hope the wound on my knee doesn't leave a scar... eeks....

lakeside house does not hv the most original plot, but nice nonetheless....

i must watch my choc. intake.

i tink chloe's great. santino should be voted out.

yoyo...

another tsunami....

it just neva ends does it....

in any case, wats been happening tt i can rem offhand....

ok... there's js's bday party @ mos... like 2 sats ago? had to wear pink.... put in so much effort to get pink stuff... onli to be greeted by a 'marginal pass'. wah rau... but on the whole, i had some fun. sandra was so sweet to accompny me... ended up @ her place to watch soccer. ok.. tt was the plan.. but we ended up sleeping during halftime (and the action only began the 2nd half.. darn)... had a nice chat b4 i went to church the next morn... yeah i managed to wakie for church... but nice chat...

spent my last weekend totally sick. sick starting fri morn. condition aggravated in the pm. by the time i got home from work @ 7pm, i was so down i was in bed by 7.30. hopeful me stil hope to recover by 9.30pm to get up to go for churhc's overnite prayer watch. of course cldn't get up lah. but had to drag myself up @ 6am the next morn to bring my kids for CIP. once they set up their stalls, settled in properly, i went home man... slept again... or TRIED to. strangely, tired as one may be, its difficult to sleep. managed to recover well enuff for jazz by the beach in the evening w mlvn. the rest of the gang all played me out... sighz...

church on sun was led by the youth. must say i'm impressed... they really hv the heart of worship. awesome. but to stay on for the 3rd service was too challenging for me. i was just exhasuted, despite all the sleep i've been getting over the previoius two days. and i wanted to recover properly before week starts... so went home... but somehow got lured to watch pirateds of the carribean after i saw the making of the movie on tv. so got stv to go watch the show w me. its simply hilarious... but while watching the show, engrossed in the fairytale world with adventures, white sand, emerald waters, highlands, waterfalls... etc, i recalled that in less than 12 hours i'll be in school.. OMIGOSH... two worlds apart...

nv has been trying to get the oldies from church youth to meet up @ our old hangout CC. looking fwd to it, tt's IF we can actually all make it at the same time... seems like a challange now... speaking of which, wed prac with some of the oldies was great... there was adr, KY, NV... really like back to the old days.. i see the pwpt presenation by the FL on sun, reminds me of wat we've gone thro in the past... seriously... i cant help *wow*ing at how much energy we used to hv... wat the kids hv now... awesome power man.... now... ah ha h aha.... once i dun hv enuff sleep... i'm down... sighz....

alrite... jsut some random thots and anyhow typing... because.. i dunno wat i'm tinking anymore..

anywayz, jazz by the beach again this sat. band: walking on waters.... who's gonna b there?

He can use my boo boo....

Its a crazy thing... but I did it anyway.

I just left tuesdies earlier at 1030pm so i can come home early to sleep. but ALAS! no cab! they are all on call. I thot soccer season was over, so i shldn't hv a prob getting a cab.. but no... soccer season is over, cab fares have been raised, i still cant get a cab. i was walking ard al the junections and different sides of the road.. man...

so... den later there was two angmos in front of me walking... they den crossed over to the other side of the road. and they managed to get a cab! but see.. the cab stopped.. and they walked away... the cab moved away and stopped. so i thot they din wan the cab anymore.... so i ran across the road, (dun care of how i look or cars anymore, i just wanted to get home.) got in the cab and told the driver where to head. cab driver turned back and said that angmo is taking the cab. den the door opened and the angmo was like... i'm still taking this cab.. i was like... OOPS... so i got out of cab and apologized and explained i thot they were leaving. he said he was saying bye to his fren and signaled the cab to wait. cab moved fwd cos he was at some road junection or watever...

but the angmo was realy a gentleman i must say. he asked me where i was heading and since both of us were heading east, we shared the cab, and i'll drop off first. there was awkward silence @ first. so i spoke to the driver and asked abt how getting cabs at that time would usually b like to gauge better for next time. cab driver was nice and started talking to me. it wasn't long before the angmo joined in the conversation of how it was tough getting cabs, and how according to the driver,some pple try to cheat the cab drivers on call. angmo even told us wat he did during the soccer finals. he cldn't get a cab for over an hour. in the end he stopped one on call and offered extra ten bucks. the cab driver accepted and called his regular to say he'll be 20 mins late... lol angmo claims he felt bad.. but hey.. more htan an hour of waiting?

anywayz, that ws that. paid for my cab after a messy discussion w the cab driver and angmo how we shld split tis. angmo offered to pay.. but i rejected because he oredi did me a favor. so anywayz... it was kindof crazy... but hey... i tink if everyone were nicer in life, society would be a better place.

anywayz.... when i reached home i realized something.... it seemed like a big boo boo on my part. thanks to the graciousness of angmo.. i din hv to suffer as much. BUT i recalled.. while waiting 'hopelessly' for a cab, i prayed in my heart for a cab. it would be like 'super lucky' or a 'miracle' if there was a cab. but i prayed in my heart for a cab....

God provides in strange and unexpected manners.. the way He did this time.. and I also learnt.... that He can use my boo boo... well... i'm a boo boo queen... sometimes i fear doing big things cos i'm afraqid of screwing things up... but this was just a small reminder that Hey God can use my boo boo! how? i dunno yet.. anywayz. i goota sleep man.. laterz..

i feel blessed....

small things make me feel that i'm blessed...

1. i baked cookies for my class for youth day. i tink they liked it. at least they say it smells good. lol. even adr waited for me to finish CT w the rest to collec tthem from me. i'm beginning to see some pple change... not drastically... but still... just the small smiles... just saying they'll try (one or two of them do)... even when they give crap reasons when i get them to do stuff... even when talking to them seems like hitting blank walls during the MM but yet at the end, by God's grace all turned out gd for them and i felt like a proud mommy...

2. spoke to srl after CT yest. just gave her advice... based on my life experience. to see her try to internalize wat i've told her... and appreciating the advice... it makes me feel i hv a purpose in sch.... more than just paper.. awards.. paer.. event...

3. on my way back today (one of those great 'lottery' days i get to leave early), cs came and talk to me @ the busstop. its like... HUH? kids avoid us. and i hvn't taught her for 1yr. only music. her class has always been a challenge. she came and asked me y i wasn't teaching them music anymore. and i just had a simple conversation w her. but it was very very nice...

i feel so blessed because suddenly, out of the silly frenzy of school events, i find these small episodes of time with people so precious, so meaningful. THey may not be long. They may not be life changing. THey may not be huge. but they meant something. these things make me find joy in my job... thank you Jesus.

have been so busy running all over in life. i'm talking abt more than just work. i am learning... to be myself again... to be who i was... when people mattered a lot more to me... when i was sure of myself... when i used to noe my gifts and strengths... when i knew wat my focus was... except i cant be myself totally the way i was in the past. like pple do change... so... finding myself in the new self... watever that means... lol

back to the old days of cassette tape...

it was a surprise find. i was packing my stuff yesterday and came across a couple of cassette tapes, long before CDs were the mainstay. i found a favorite tape of mine called We Draw Near, by Hosanna Music, worship leader Marty Nystrom.

today, i just realized that my the vcd player in my mom's room plays cassette tapes. talk about old school! i had a pleasant time singing along that particular one which i bought at least 5 years ago. its still my favorite. songs offer nothing 'cool'. simple, but .... its all about Him.....

i enjoyed the time... going back to the simple. remembering that all these are just temporal... our job.. is to seek, wait, glorify Him... living it out in the hectic world is a challenge. but hey, whoever said its easy?

anywayz, here's one of the songs. not my most fav from the tape. but a gd start to the beginning of school again.

Rest In Your Love
Gary Sadler

Chorus:
I will rest in Your love
Put my trust in Your goodness
And set my thoughts on peaceful things above
I will cast away my cares
And find my joy in Your presence
I will rest, I will rest
In Your love

Whom shall I fear
Why should I worry
Your grace is enough for my need
Your joy is my strength
Your peace is my shelter
You faithfully watch over me

All of my doubts
All of my striving
By faith I lay down at Your Throne
Your Word is my shield
Your Spirit my power
You tenderly care for Your own

I will rest
I will rest
In Your love

living it out to the fullest....

i've been hving fun tis week.... its quite a week.... living it out to the fullest b4 the imminent crazy work begins...

sunday - cheryl's wedding
ana n i were out the entire day... somehow, we were suddenly roped in to become the sisters... the 'highlight' of the event was how ana n i were so super hungry as we did not hv time to eat sufficiently. so while waiting w cheryl in the hotel room, we were eyeing the truffles so so so badly... we even went down to the lobby, in the hope of finding some food to buy. to our dismay, no food's for sale. in the end, i just eyed the fruit basket, went to cheryl and asked:
xt: cheryl, do you like bananas? (easiest to consume wat!)
cheryl: xt, wat are u tinking.... *suspicious look*
xt: *innocent look* no.. do you like bananas?
ana: cheryl, its xt. she wldn't tink of that sort of thing.
xt: we are really hungry, can we have the banana?
ana and i just shared the fruit... we took alternate bites, and before you noe it, its gone. pretty hilarious.

mon - ana's 'THE' shoe got chewed
planned to pack my plce and work in sch. but cos of ana's crisis, changed plan. packed my plce a lit'l and went down town to see wat we can do w the pair of shoes. bought a pair of jeans and a little pouch @ the same time. well... no more shopping soon anywayz... so spend while i can? :P

tues - sch & tuesdies
was in sch the entire day working on the exam paper. sigh. so much bad log. but i shant tink abt it til mon. aha! had dinner w HC n her hubby. almost did not make it for tuesdies. but did not regret it. it was good.. presence of God always there... only, i'm the one who falls short. went home feeling happy for a while.

wed - run, acsi,
had an early morn run. brought gals to acsi for exchange prog. got a little unhappy abt something. but its trivial and over. left slightly earlier. wat i did thereafter... i can't rem.

thurs - acsi, hosp, mos
in acsi again. went for my final eye check-up appt. according to doc, i've gotten zero degrees on both eyes. but sadly, 50 degrees of astig for both too. still.. its better than lenses. watched stepford wives on dvd. crap show. nicole kidman is gorgeous! was pretty tired so almost pulled out of dinner n mos w fel. but i din wanna 'fly plane' as much as i cld... so since she'd rather i skipped dinner n met her later (which wasn't my pref), i did it her way. was in mos w tes, fel, and some new 'frens'. it was interesting. not my type of music, but after i got bored sitting ard, i joined them dancing. js brought me ard the plce. wasn't as big as i thot it was. den again, wat do i noe abt clubs? *laughs* i was so dazed i even forgot to introduce him as my fren, and left w him for a while, leaving fel freaked out and according to her, praying in tongues for me. it was hilarious. along the way, mom got real pissed off w me. she got freaked out by my dad who frightened her, tinking i was in trouble cos i did not pick up my mobile when she called. (like i cldn't hear my fon!) anywayz, we settled the issue the next morn. when'll she let me grow up? sigh. had an interesting online conversation w js after i got home. he got me tinking if i shld start the penguin affair. but i tink not.... i can't handle it, n i noe. *laughs*

fri - slept in, close of arts fest perf by spanish grp @ CCK, world cup, supper w tuesdies @ holland v.
i was only supposed to go CCK. its really far! further than jurong! but i thot, heck, i must make full use ot the time left. after the the perf, by default i ended up @ mg's place watching soccer. tunisia vs ukraine. i dun understd the rules of the game, except when the ball passes the goal post into the net, its goal. i hv no idea why sometimes its still a no goal even when the above condition's met. they call it offside. watever. but i cld tell that the game was slow, and pretty boring. a lot of free kicks and yellow cards apparently. 'it was played @ pedestrain's pace', aptly put by the commentator. we had wings, crackers, choc, and osim i-squeeze to add on to the game. *laughs* somehow, i managed to by default go to holland v for supper. (well, i din wanna get home too, cos my sis was staying over.. so...) supper was gd. met up w pple i hvn't met in a while from tues, ken n kel. gd catching up. met quite a no. of few folks too... like hnh, trc, stv... got home late enuff not to c my sis awake. :P gd evening.

sat - major cleanup of wardrobe n table, tea w bong srey CL, run, baked brownie for tom's dive, major blogging to rem a gd week passed by...
CL smsed me in the morn to ask if i was free for tea. PERFECT day. any earlier, i'm not ard. any later, i'll be busy. PERFECT. we had great conversation over tea n supermkt shopping. spending time w her, talking to her, reminds me that there's a bigger real world out there. puts my feet back on the ground... where many other pple make their living... put their feet down on as well. i was hving fun in my life. not wrong. just that, occasionally, i do need someone in the field out there to remind me, there's a real world out there, in need of those who would go. besides the diving, suppers, deadlines, fellowship, catching up... came back for a late run. thot i'll run in case i prob hv no more time to run next week on.

tmrw - doing a reefcheck dive. feeling kindof lazy now. well... but i tink it'll change tom... my last event before..... argh....

i only ask for grace, for wisdom and for strength in the coming weeks.... that i will also be a source of grace, wisdom and strength for others... so they may see Him....

salang... sea... sand... sun... snockel....ssssssss.....

i wanted to blog this last week, but neva got to do it. abt to give up, but got the motivation from ag's sms just now, which says that she's gonna blog it. indeed... must blog gd stuff b4 i forget.

effectively we were in salang for only 1.5 days. But i've gotten my fair share of the sun, the sand, the sea, snockeling, and sotong. and the most exciting thing is I CAN NOW SNOCKEL WITHOUT A LIFE JACKET! To some, its trivial. But to me, that is really an achievement that left me beaming with joy in the sea while i was there. :) I'm still beaming when i think of it. Thnx to ag for being there, esp in the beginning. Its great to hv someone beside me when i'm so like... scared....

snockelling is an entirely different experience from diving, though i must say diving does make snockelling less uncomfy for me because i'm used to breatching with my mouth and dealing with my mask. when we are sufficiently near the corals, snockelling is as beautiful as diving. only when the water is deeper do i wish i cld just go nearer and below the little crevices to see what hides beneath. the sense of snockelling without the life jacket is LIBERATING! for the first time, i also heard the crunching sounds whenever the bigger parrot fishes bits into the corals. we saw quite some interesting things. file fish, sea cucumber, urchins, sea grapes, some weird looking fish, hardly any soft coral tho. the excitement of being able to snockel without a life jacket make me for once, not crave for compressed air while walking pass the dive shops or dive boats. *laughs* but i don't know how long this would last...

in one of our trips, i was pretty pissed off with this particular father tho. the family of 4 went on the boat trip to 3 snockel sites with us. it was great for the father to bring his kids out at a younger age (upper pri and sec) and expose them to the beautiful sea (well, i'm only aware of corals in my 20s! wat we learnt in sec geog doesn't count). HOWEVER, he picked up corals for his daughter. i din wanna tell him its not right in front of his kids. but i'm pissed. i just looked at the coral unhappily. so irritated.... no wonder the poor corals are suffering.... ggrrrr.....

noteworthy of mentioning... 1. we saw pple squid fishing @ the jetty at nite.. i saw how the squid caught changed colors! wow.... 2. delicious seafood.. i recommend the one at some indras thing... good and cheap... 3. the weirdo who kindof followed us... freaky. we bumped into him 3 times... at the different ends of salang.. ag was so freaked out she started laffing n told me to shout @ him.. i'm like... shout wat? lol

Anywayz, here's the itinerary:
THurs
0600am, Queens Street
Met up w Ag, Yy to take SJB (S$2.40) to Larkin.
0740, Larkin.
BOught 0830 bus tix (Ringgit 8)to Mersing and had a Mackies breakies.
0845, depart from Larkin to Mersing
1030, Mersing
Arrived at jetty and bought 1100am bluewater ferry tix (Ringgit 70)for tioman.
1400am, Salang
Went to the place (Indas something) ag booked for accomodation (70 ringgits per nite for 4 beds, AC, attached bathroom), checked in, lunch.
1600 n beyond...
we were snockelling
TIming has been perfect so far. and ag said... when everything's smooth, somethings will crop up.. and that happened for dinner...
Cnat rem the timing, but we waited like 1.5 hours for dinner.. .the servers completely pissed us off. the worse thing was, there was no one to complain to. no boss... everyone just shifts the blame ard.. irritating... anywayz, we took the extra pc of grilled potato and fed the fish @ the jetty. in ag's words 'it gives new meaning to fish n chips'. lol
2300, i'm in bed...

fri
0800 woke up, breakfast (i had half boiled eggs, banana pancake and some shake.. pig rite?)
09++ went to the little hut we signed up for our snockel trip (ringgits 50)
1030 depart salang for coral island
snockeled @ 3 reefs... cant rem the first, long beach for second and genting for 3rd or was it 1st?
1330 came back to salang, feeling a bitta sick. the last site was horrid the waves. how can anyone snockel there decently.
washed up til abt 1500
lunch... some spicy noodles.. :(
1600 nap.. i really needed the nap.. the sun and the waves from the 3rd site...
1700 hv to struggle out of bed for the final round of snockeling. after all, we've traveled so far and so long... and we fed the fish w leftover biscuits
den.. it was shower... seafood dinner (we paid ringgits 87 for 2 squids - 14; 2 slices of mackeral; and 2 crabs - 10 per pc)... a walk by the beach, by the jetty, watch pple squid fishing... we stopped by a little 'hut' for shakes and beer... an angmoh couple there just commented how they just got their dinner after an hour.. gosh... typical it seems...
2300.. i'm in bed again...

fri
0600 rise n shine
0645 had super cheap breakfast (curry puffs and kuey kueys going at an ave of 3 pcs for a ringgit, and mee goreng n nasi lemak @ 1 ringgit per pax)
0730 boarded ferry back to mersing
abt 1000... got stranded near mersing cos of low tide. they finally brought in transfers.. whcih were super overloaded, and i dun even get to sit... and halfway, the water flooded the floor of the boat, and my pack got wet! *grrr*
1100.... looking for tix back to sg. took a cab at 120 ringgits back to city square.
1300... arrivd @ city square. had lunch @ secret recipe. walked ard...
1500... left jb
and cabbed home...

tht was a super long entry.. i tink shld help me rem enuff lah.. plus with all the pretty pics ag took.. good lah. :)

10 years later....

i'm still an ENFP. 10 yrs ago, did the test in church. 10 years later today, did the same test @ home... still an ENFP. still scoring high on 'F' component. i was surprised den to be high on 'F'. now.. its just... aiya... *yawn*

Your Type is
ENFP
Strength of the preferences %
Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving

33 50 75 33

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:
moderately expressed extrovert

moderately expressed intuitive personality

distinctively expressed feeling personality

moderately expressed perceiving personality

Meanwhile, i'm going to tioman TOMORROW! like TOMORROW! and yes. I've packed. first time i packed being vain, like consider wat outfits i wanna wear rather than the usual sphagetti and shorts.. tis is a REAL HOLIDAY! but i'll be back soon.. until den....

meet kai...

my new pet. :) Kai means "the sea" in hawaiian. Strange my pets seem to end up with hawaiian names. took over an hour to get her online, its crazy. Gotta thnk CL for helping me get the html scripts right. *laughs*

just came back from camp on sat. sessions were good. God is good. the rest... hmm... ok lah. words that came to me were 'purity', 'fellowship' and 'prayer'. yest morn, i just learnt wat it was to hav nothing... suddenly, really nothing, but to worship Him all the same.

spent yest setting exam paper. got real disappointed yest when i realized that one of the events for collecting data i wanted to volunteer for clashed with my class's CIP trip. Really really disappointed. but life goes on.

spent tis morn clearing all my paper, letters from all over that i've been putting aside. as long as i clear my bills, the remaining paper just end up on my desk. took over an hour to clear the paper. crazy. i'm suddenly getting obsessed abt cleairng my things. now i wanna just go on.. clear the clothes... clean my table.... tidy my shelves... and so forth.. pity no time cos am going out w ana later, and wanna try to bake before tt.

am excited abt my REAL holiday break this coming thurs. am going to tioman w AG n her ex-student. its a short trip. but @ least a trip out.

meanwhile, just taking a day at a time and learning to be thankful and joyful for wat i hv.... haiz....

back from dayang.. w sandfly bites n rash threatening to return...

its an unforgettable trip.. because its a stressful trip... w some highlights and lowdims...

i was totally sleep deprived prior to tis trip. (pple who noe me noes i cant live if i dun get enuff sleep). thurs evening, went for my pool session (kindof traumatized) n rushed to my students' chalet and ended up staying over cos it was v late. cldn't sleep the entire nite tink cos i was like tensed after the pool. next morn, luckily my RO allowed me to cancel my appointment w her cos i seriously needed to rest, but still i cldn't sleep. was stone... and temp was a little higher den usual. anywayz, i made my way out... for the trip in the evening nonetheless.

Highlight 1: Company was great...
after i got to noe them. many ex-GMers.. its farnie how we make up @ least 1/2 the grp. some nice frenly gals to hang out w. once i got to noe the gals better, immediately i told them i was super nervous.. and they thot i looked 'zhai' (first impression). HA. pretend only. i was so scared i wanted to just go home on my way to the shop.

HIghlight 2: den i realized i wasn't the only one doing the rescue! :) Another guy, QY, my mom's fren's son was doing it too. small world ey... so anywayz we proceeded.

Low dim 1: The boat was ultra slow despite its 'turbo' engine..
and got lost. we arrived dayang @ 6.30am. means less time to rest b4 the first dive. also, d boat was so rocky, i was up all nite again. 2nd nite of deprived sleep. but we count ourselves fortunate it wasn't raining. given the design og d tiny boat, we'll be dead if it was raining.

Lowdim 2: i was so tensed
i did not enjoy almost all the dives. nothing was nice to see. nothing wows me. i cldn't even descend. that was like super crap.

Highlight/Lowdim: one of the rescue dives...
cldn't descend. ha ha. so QY got tt guy. n was made to tow him round the boat while giving rescue breaths. poor boy. i wld hv sunk.

HIghlight/Lowdim: one of the rescue dives...
it was my turn. i just got out of the bathroom when QY became 'panicky' i was in self denial and i asked him 'r u serious?' lol. tt is not wat one is supposed to do lah! the farnie thing tt got EVERYONE on the boat and the instructor in the water laughing their guts out: during my 2nd attempt to throw QY a flotation device, it so accurately hit him on his head, creating a 'boing' sound and bouncing back (that's wat they told me. i dunno!) imagine, the way to save a panick diver is to hit him unconscious first. AH HA HA. kidding. but its farnie. it'll be remembered 10 yrs down d road if/when anyone of us bump into each other during any dives. its classic.
so i tink iw as nervous again, cldn't descent when he sunk. anywayz, got him up. and suay suay, while trying to tow him n do the rescue breathing, one of my fins threatened to like drop out. sheesh. anywayz, thankfully it remained in position despite the strap coming off. but there was less effectiveness cos i din wan it to drop. i'm dead it it drops. almost died at the end of the tow when i hv to keep ourselves afloat. but Jk was like v encouraging @ the side n so were the 'audience' on the boat. survived.

Highlight 3:
skipped the nite dive for a nice slow dinner. but we waited an hour for dinner. still it was nice to just chill by the beach w some real jokers ard entertaining us.

Lowdim 3: i felt so yuan wang
the dm dropped my tank accidentally when i was on the 2nd deck. those on eht 2nd deck w me were like... OH NO... HER TANK DROPPED and sounds like the reg is dead. but iwas like dead certain i secured my tank. so i felt super suay, cos if a tank dropped, no one will believe u secured it. (and we were previously warned by Jk to secure it, becos we had no extra reg). so i went down, and saw Jk's face. super blk. He was tinking wat to do, so i din wanna disturb him to tell him i secured my tank. thot i'll let him noe later. but i felt so upset cos i thot he was angry tt i almost din wanna dive. there was a change in plan n i felt like my suayness like made everyone suay. but the pple who were on the 2nd deck w me who were not aware of wat really happened were really sweet n tried to like make me laff when the rest went to dive first. i was so upset throout tt dive.. so later during bf, i was like so upset my other gal pals were like wat happened... so i told them i felt v yuan wang. tt's when they told me wat exactly happened... MAN.....

the rest... were usual... or off the usual.. but too lazy to blog. anywayz entry is getting too long.

meanwhile, i finally got to sleep last nite...but sandfly bites kept me awake (just a little bit) and my rash.. oh... pls dun return...

and life goes on.. its time to work...

can bear read the papers anymore

i always tell my kids to read the papers. to noe wats going on. to understd the world better rather than from the textbook.

earthquakes. tsunami. earthquakes. floods. typhoons. hurricanes. volcano eruption.

they just kept repeating themselves. death tolls rising. international aid poured in. but death tolls continue to rise. pple continue to suffer. y? poor infrastructure. bottleneck on the mgmt part.

after reading case after case just over the past 1.5 years, i cldn't bring myself to read yet another of these again this morn. without looking at the headlines, i noe wat is to be expected. death toll. homeless pple. pple with no food. aid available but inaccessible. hungry people. families torn apart due to death. can bear read anymore.

suddenly i wished i took up the medical profession and got more interested in science in my sec / college days. those days, i neva knew where my passion lies. who'd want a teacher at these scenes? like hello? teach wat teach? suddenly i wished i learnt more crisis management stuff.

den again, i do realize after my crash course reading for my rescue dive course from last night til this pm that... i cant do medical stuff. just to rem four terms on lung overexpansion.. like .. erm.. air embolism, some mediasta... some... stra... i dunno wat... and some... pnuem... something... see u get the point. but but... i make good assistant and support! ah ha! maybe i shld be a nurse!

sigh... but seriously, i wished i was there... and in the position to help. sadly.... for now, i'm just gonna stay away from the papers to a while. i hope it wldn't be too long tho.. cant avoid it forever...

remember my dear keiki

two years since the passing on of my dear keiki
the dark green cookie-sized shell
the hyperactivity and constant attempts to climb as high as possible
will be remembered
how it made me smile
i wonder if its in heaven
is there a heaven for animals?
they say animals have no spirits
hence no heaven
i don't know
but keiki has been in my life
at least it'll be in my memory
for now, til the day i lose my memories too...

of rash... passport... kim chi... rescue or not...

rash is mostly gone. not visible only. just taking care and beingmore careful over the affected area. *happy*

passport collected yest... my old trusty passport i'd been proud of has expired... its really w sadness tt i hold my new passport... gone are the precious marks of the places i've been to. no. the new passport will not be filled with the marks of special moments i had... trips to msia w my entire family (now all over the plce)... my first virgin flight.. trip to cambodia... my 3 months there... my first and subsequent dive trips... mountains of the himalayas... mountains of thailand... checkpoints by land between thailand and cambodia, vietnam and cambodia... my first backpack trip to southern thailand following the amazing race season 2's route, trips i had w my honors classmate... jb shopping trips w EC, w G, w dive gang on different occasions... first trip to developed cty aussie... learning how to bring kids to china... learning myself while spending time in khaolak some of these changed my life (diving n cambodia), others enriched my life, without those, i am not who i am now.... i'm sure the new passport will have in it new marks of adventures ahead, but i shall hold dear that old trusty one, in which, keeps the traces of my life...

kim chi... yest was the first time i tried korean food. decided to go for the seafood kimchi vermicilli. the dish looks ferociously spicy from the display pic. being the stubborn me, who just wanna try it, decided to go for it, much to the bemusement of ana. it took me an hour to eat up 2thirds of wats in the bowl. some tears and a fat tongue (i mean, it felt fat). ana was just bemused and resisting telling me 'huo gai' (u asked for it). i stubbornly finished as much as i cld. the way i look at it... at least i've tried it... i wldn't try it again. but i've got a try that's good enough (than just a mouthful). that's me. just wanna try. even if i'm suffering or incapable... stubborn... which comes to the next item: rescue dive course. to take or not to take?

this is the only weekend i can make it. if not, i tink i really shld give up oredi (it was my resolution to takeit up last yer). but suddenly i'm feeling really apprehensive because of the fact tt i'm not v strong and i cant tread water properly.... so this one's.... still a question mark.

rashed...

i'm on steroids... so i shld be able to run faster now...

lol.... aiya, went to see my skin doc for 2nd opinion lah. that doc is so famous i queued up for like more than two hours. by the time i got home (by cab ok) it was close to midnite. wat an expensive fieldtrip.

so anywayz, the amazing thing was... i dunno if it was the cream she gave me or the oral medication... the rash did not bother me anymore immediately like TODAY MORNING ONWARDS! no more sudden 'uprisings'... i'm just glad cos its like super irritating. to tink that i thot can 'act cool' and 'self-control', can tahan the itchy. crap..... my mom had to hold on to my hands to stop myself from scratching.. ah ha ha...

school has been difficult. i seriously need a break. just 3 more days.... 3 long days.. but nonetheless... 3 more days.....

who said diving is relaxing?

just had a very very exhausting trip... no thanks to the currents. *laughs*

pulau semakau, reef check. met up @ keppel marina, loaded up and we set off. it was nice on the overall. visibility was 1.5m at its best. i saw crabs, butterfly fish, 3 nudibranch (white w purple linings), 3 other usual nudibranch. Cant rem wat else i saw. The first dive was my record, 1hr 18mins. Second dive was darn tiring cos of currents. i really almost cldn't make it back to the boat... in any case, the amazing ting was.... I DIN GET THE HIGH TIDE... usually i'm like need the bathroom 40mins into the dive.. today was like.. miraculous!! but also good, if on the second dive i need to go, i'm so dead. i took at least 5 mins finning underwater against current to get back to bouy and at LEAST another 5 mins (maybe 10?) on the surface somewhat against current again to get back to the boat which was darn far away. if i kena high tide, i'd rather die... but generally nice company... away...


Passport update:
they finally called late PM on fri to say my passport appln prob got lost in the mail. i'm tinking... it took u 3 days and 2 calls? not v efficient.

Rash update:
Its ok in the day. But gets real real real itchy in the middle of last nite and now... i wonder y. even the oral medication to stop the itch took long to work. and supposed to last 24 hrs. i took one last nite @ 2am. its itching again now!

Meanwhile hving this 'arguement' w my mom. Thot finally when the smallest one is married we all can move on.. but nooooo... my mom cant. so i'm still living under her shadows... i was super super super pissed... this time w my mom... enough is enough....

itchy itchy scratchy scratchy down my backside... oh... no more calamine lotion...

i finally went to c the doc. i suppose the rash was more stubborn than i was.

in any case, it was hilarious to see how when pple talk to me, ask about my rash, i c their eyes looking @ it... and unconsciously started to scratch themselves.. REALLY! hilarious... and there are those who said it gave them the goosebumps... in any case, some simply teased me abt it....

meanwhile, i'm going diving tis sun... doing the survey dive for reefcheck. i asked the doc whether it was okiez... he gave me the 'are you sure look?' anywayz, he said it might leave behind a mark like pigmentation.. tt's a darn huge one lor... *sobs*

my passport has yet to arrive. i've called up twice... but no news... drats....

rash is spreading....

the rash has spread from forearm, to lower part of the arm. do you call that the lowarm? backarm? ah ha ha.... mom's freaking out. but i'm too darn tired to be bothered to see the doc. after all i JUST got home, and hv to do all the remarsk for the report card. do i look like i can be bothered w my hand?

But i thot rashes will just go away in a day? dunno lah... i'm dying... 8 more teaching days before term closes... argh...

meanwhile, still no news of my passport. how how? i dun wanna be grounded here in JUN!!! argh...

i look like shit today

4 days ago, i said that to AG during a meeting.

today, it was her turn to return me the 'favor'.

I looked like shit today, and I feel real real real exhausted.

In a sense, it was a tough day. Brought kids out for the first session of the field work in Labrador. Its quite a breakthrough for our dept, and its something I've always wanted to expose students to. But i ended up doing stuff I wasn't planning to do. At the same time, some silly rash on my right forearm is killing me. I've tried tiger balm, calamine lotion, slapping it, scorching it with real hot water, but its still itching like man as i'm typing away.

Came back, received disappointing news about the behavior of my class. No matter how many times i've heard things like that, i am still not immuned to feeling lousy abt it. Bad news abt one student's act i'll hv to settle tom.

Den, the parent i was supposed to meet did not show up. Much MUCH effort was put in for this meeting. seriously, isn't it taken for granted that parents love their offspring? den again, looking at abuse cases, perhaps not. i wonder, how is it some parents can die for their kids while others don't care a darn for theirs?

well, but i'm thankful for other things here and there. aom. i just thot of her, emailed her yest, but mail bounced back. today, surprisingly i saw her online! for the first timE! it was the first time she tried and i happened to be online too! really happy to chat with her. hopefull i'll get to meet her when i go to khao lak again in nov. she said she'll try to find me at nam kem... but we'll see.. but that made my tough day a little sweeter.

down the memory lane...

1 year ago on 13 May:
i was irritated w some gals from my kunming grp who made me misunderstood by the tr-i/c
i did major damage control cos i gave the wrong location for the concert i was bringing my guitar gals to

2 year ago on 12 May and 14 May:
i was still dealing with the penguin and giraffe issue
my dear keiki n cookie were still alive, and i loved watching them
i went to jb w EC, but too tired ended up watching TROY
looking for a digital camera
stuck in all the boring nie talks
sent in my resignation letter to moe n signed on as an aided staff

how time flies....

i did get to east coast afterall....

it was supposed to b a simple day: go buy keyboards for the sch in town; head back home to change; go to east coast to blade.

but no... it became an 'events'ful day.... it was fun... just that my physical body just wasn't up to it. the actual day:

went to town to find keyboards n lunch w AO.
went home. but when i just reached my mrt station, AG smsed me to say we'll go for dinner instd of blade cos its raining. i called her back, telling her I JUST CAME BACK FROM TOWN... anywayz, we decided to go for dinner in 'near town' and hang out @ the cafe just beside ana's shop!
so it was a gd chance for me to accompany ana, cos she did say she wan company in the morn, just that i cldn't fit that extra slot in in my original plan.
i RETRACED the route back to town... it was crazy... like merry-go-round... hung out w ana while working on correspondence for my keyboards, went to some shops @ arab street w her to get materials and SNACKS!
met AG in the evening for an egyptian dinner... food was great! and we roamed ard arab str. I loved that place... really make me tell myself there's no way i shld get myself stuck in sg in jun. I MUST LEAVE THE COUNTRY FOR A VACATION!
we went to the cafe... it was an interesting place. i like it. tink i'll hang out there next time... interesting decor, v. reasonable prices, cosy setup, and best, not crowded! which cafe in sg is not crowded n noisy on a weekend nite? TN joined us... hung out till 11.
time to go home. but on the way to the busstop, i managed to be 'kidnapped' by TN to watch her bf perform at east coast. that was crazy. by the time i got home.... it was wat? close to 1 am. lol

so i did get to east coast after all, just 5 hours later than earlier planned, and doing a completely different thing.

for todya, i'm just gonna chill @ home.. or ana's plc later. but i neeeeeed tooooo chiiiiiilllllllll.....

Tap Tawan (Mission Accomplished)

I just received an update post from my project manager in Thailand.

Tap Tawan, the project I was on for 3 weeks last year, has finally been completed on 27 April 2006.

Photographs of the team and all @ work brought back fond memories I could tear.

Here's the photo site of THAT particular 'house' I spent most of my time working on:
http://chaggar.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album09
I came in in the middle, after foundations have been laid. I laid bricks. Its so nice to finally see the 'almost finished' product that has been worked on since I left. *sigh* Its a happy sigh.

Meanwhile, i've started learning Thai. Like real. Only one phrase this morning "pen yang-nga barng". The intonations are driving me crazy.

After a million hassles of drafting out two detailed proposals about bringing students overseas for their CIP (Batam - which did not see the light, no one read it cos it was shelved when the 2nd opening arose); and the second (Khao Lak, in Sept - I was 'forced' to draft it out of diplomay). In any case, its pretty decided that we will be setting off in November, back to Khao Lak, Nam Kem, further from my previous area, but one of the worst hit areas. Means I can't get to catch up with my friends there. But still, I'm glad... I can be out there... doing something again...

mai-pen-rai..... mai-pen-rai....

things i think to make me feel happy...

i dunno if its my profession. people outside my profession thinks i'm quite 'negative', much as i'm irritated, suggest i go out with frens (like i do but i dun hv too much energy and time), i go on vacation (well, i wish i could), go dating (i'm like ?!? not smart... u dun go dating to feel positive), tink positive.... and the list goes on. Thank you for ur concerns, but honestly, sometimes, i hvn't said anything that means that i'm depressed, so dun just assume tt i'm negative simply because i'm facing up to facts. and the worse thing, pls stop trying to dish out with SOLUTIONS! I'm not upset with life, so get on... i tink only pple in my line really understds.... sigh...

in any case, to please these pple, yes there are things i think about that makes me smile....
1. time spent with my nephew DN. he's such a darling i'm absolutely in love with him. :) the way he calls me ahyi, and speaks to me in his strange language, run around unstably, kisses & hugs.... OMIGOSH!
2. memory images of the beautiful things i see under the sea, esp nice memories of times spent in the similans under the water and above water by the viewing point!
3. some of the rocky paths when i'm in nepal
4. times i spent in Aussie many years ago, in the cool weather, long walks the blue mountains, there was a little cute gal we met @ a playground in the blue mountains, the seafood platter, the absolutely cold cruise ride, the farnie 'face mask' session in the hotel room w G

I like to think i've spelt time doing these beautiful things.... it makes the mundane and unmeaningful more bearable.

i love the new cadbury family bar..

it comes with MORE NUTS now!!! YES!

but why do the mint version cost so much more? Easily 25% more...

perceptions after GE....

1. Opposition party did not win in my estate. Closer margin though. Strange though that, every time when the results that an opposition has won a seat, I hear cheers... the way I hear them when I was a kid when SG scored a goal against Msian States in the Malaysia Cup.

2. Media seems to give the impression that people choose the parties based on what the parties can do for the constituency or ward. But I believe its more than that, based on casual conversations with pple of sorts.

3. Following pt. 2, supporters of the opposition parties are more vocal than supporters of the main government. Or maybe, its just my circle.

3. Media seems to be on one of the party's side. Apparently, the academia they've invited for interviews also seems to be so.

4. Margins are closer for losses by the opposition wards, but wider in wards that have been won. Is this saying something? BUt if we follow what the invited interviewed academia say, i guess not.

Meanwhile, its still stability. Which is good. At the same time, think may need to get ready for more price increases.

truth undermined...

First, the Da Vinci Code.

Now, the gospel of Judas Iscariot.

What next?

.com

just wondering if it would be more apt to end our nation's official websites with a .com or .sg ....

my new shoes....

IT TORE! BROKE! I only wore it TWICE. ANd today, the second I wore it, it broke even before 7.30am!!!

in GENERAL

the rich is getting richer

the poor getting poorer

those in-between (where i belong) are just working our asses off, trying to make a 'decent living', to hit the 'minimum standard of living' as propaganded by the rich as decent.

Don't tell me education can take a person out of a poverty cycle. Perhaps, only to join the ranks of the in-between, still working off our asses.

I'm just glad its a temporal world.

Battered-soles Shopaholic

I did some major shopping just now. Did not plan to spend so much but i did. My 'trophies' are:

1 pair of white shades from Topshop
1 pair of turtle-shell shades from Forever 21
1 pair of super high (3") black heels from Charles & Keith
1 pair of white flats from U.R.S
1 black spaghetti top from Metro
1 white tube from Metro.

Hmm.. i just realize things come in pairs... 2 pairs of shades, 2 pairs of shoes, 2 tops. And colors.. mostly one white one black? lol. What's w me.

Biggest mistake was to wear heels today. Planned to wear flats. But just before I left my place, I realized I cldn't fold up my long jeans. Din hv time to change my outfit, so changed my footwear. Which was bad idea. Now I understand what people say when they say 'my feet are killing me'. My feet were killing me. I come home with a super battered pair of soles.

ANd tis time round, how did I get out of my mom seeing my purchases? I asked her if there was dinner. She went into kitchen to check. I ran in with my bags and put them under their bed. Later, I transfered them to my room when she was heating the food up in the kitchen. AH HA HA HA. OH NO... am i really turning into a shopaholic?

Meanwhile, this weekend was good. I was really rested from since weeks ago, esp yest. Spent the day ironing my clothes, baking, snacking, tv, eating, sleeping..... I love public holidays. Work's gotta start tom. But at least, I've had a real break and I'm real happy. Except my feet are really really aching.... :(

Is that all there is to life?

I'm fine. I'm not upset. I'm not down. Life is just moving, not smoothly, no one's life is, but ok. Can manage. Work's work. Takes up most of my time, but that's that. Learnt to be detached somewhat. Health, not fantastic, but no major problems. But is that all there is to life?

I'm a horrid horrid christian.

I still cant stand my sister. I had a 'breeze' for a month when she's away at my other sister's place. No territorial battles. I get to sleep with ventilation, in peace. No worries about being late in the morning cos there's someone stuck in the toilet bowl reading the papers. Its all ending tonight. She's back. I don't know how to call her my sister. Her presence just bothers me. Day or night. As long as she's there. I'm not even indifferent to her. I don't like her. I'm not sure if I hate her. But I don't care about her existence. Its better if she doesn't exist in my life. Is that hatred already?

Sunday service. I was so horridly late. I arrived at the portion they were about to end the singing portion of worship. People were standing, praying, and praying, and praying. I just stood there, hoping that they can quickly finish that bit, so I can sit down, and talk to ana beside me. I wasn't paying attention during sermon. I turned up for church just because I should?

I've stopped praying for my gals. I've stopped praying for many things. I've stopped praying. During a gals' meeting last weekend, I felt no excitement even tho the other ladies were to excited sharing about His goodness in their lives, learning from the HIllsongs conference CD. I was just thinking 'what on earth am i doing here? i could be elsewhere. why am i here? to catch up with friends? because i should because there's a need for fellowship?' i felt hypocritical (do i?) when i prayed in our smaller groups. I was sincere when i prayed for the other two gals, but i had no choice, its weird to be quiet throughout prayer time. i was sincere, but, yet, i felt weird praying.

i tried singing along with CDs. to be 'inspired'. but no.

ok. don't tell me that i'm doing too much using my own human efforts. its not me. its Him. I know that. But then, so how then?

i noe there's more to life than this. i noe i'm like real horrid. but its so hard to move on. i've tried. but ... somehow i'm back to square one. perhaps i do need some group accountability thing. but, well, see, there's like no difference when i was in the gals' meeting during the weekend. i was excited about the prospects of living a victorious life in Him. Knowing Him. Being His channel of blessing. but i'm so so so so far from that.

i don't know what i'm ranting. beause, i'm just moving and moving along in life. but i knoe there is more. but i don't know how to get there. period.

2 weeks update

1. spent a week sick and recuperating.
2. now have 'slightly longer than usual' filed nails. its a 'once-in-a-year' look on my hands because its rare i dun destroy my nails from the fact tt i'm a keyboardist. tis two weeks not playing in church, so... hmm...
3. been blading the past 3 sats. i'm so slow, little children jog faster than me blade my hardest.
4. lesson ob tis thurs. really sianz. procrastinated the preparation... lesson plan prep etc. for very long. today, finally got the bulk of it done. still need revision of plan tom.
5. i carried all four nephews in one afternn last sunday. :) no. 2's first yr bday & no. 4's full mth. i love the no. 1. *aw.....* my sis says i shld consider teaching in church children ministry. gimme a break. i'm afraid of kids, esp when there's a bunch of them. its just diff when it comes to my no. 1 - 4... aww.....
6. in general, been busy. hvn't really been catching up w pple. so... just waiting for lesson ob to be over tis thurs and see how lah...

i remembered the first interview i had after my uni graduation... the management asked me "so what is your biggest weakness?"

"indecisiveness" i replied. "i am good with coming up with all the pros and cons... consider both sides well. but at the end of the day, i cant decide"

big mistake. that, is not a 'weakness' easily accepted in such organizations, in the corporate world in general. i did not get the job.

i always thought i was indecisive. i had been indecisive most parts of my life. y? couple reasons, which i'm not going into today.

today, i realized... i am not longer indecisive. i can still come up with pros and cons, but i have learnt to be decisive.

in this camp, there are occasions, i realized i had been decisive. these decisions weren't forced (the way i usually dun like to do things, but still do them anyway because i noe those were the right things to do). naturally, i made the decisions. decisions that i believe based on my professional knowledge and experience, was the best for the students. in one occasion, doubt was cast by a particular someone. but i neva doubted the decision i made. i was just glad when i received the full support from the rest of my colleauges. when i realize that owhile in the cab on my way home, i sudenly realized that i had been decisive of late.

how did that happen? i hv no idea. perhaps i have learnt and chosen to take up responsibilities unlike how i preferred not to previously. perhaps with maturity and experiences i've watched how good decisions were made and learnt how to make them too.

this camp, i learnt more abt myself.

on the sideline, the key presentation for LSP is over today. I'm really proud of my gals, esp those who really put in the effort and perservered. their commitment and perseverance, which finally paid off today, made me feel its all worth it. once again, i'm inspired... :)

the ironies of life...

i've been moving about quite a bit....

packing should be a piece of cake....

last nov, i did my packing in less than 2 hours, on the eve of my 21-day trip to thailand.

last month, i did my packing in 30 mins for the weekend dive trip.

tis evening, i did my packing for the 3-day camp tom. Should be a piece of cake. I started packing at 5.30. I just finished packing. Or, almost finished.

More than 3 hours....

How did that happen?

Lack of motivation... Man... Suddenly, picking the pieces of clothings were like.... packing them in were like....

Not bringing a lot of things. LIke my iPOd. because i wasn't thinking properly, so i prob have too much clothing, so no space. do i care? no. i just pack them in. lol

i NEED MOTIVATION..... ..... ..... ....

helpless... pathetic...

mom hvn't been home for a week. she's away @ sis's plce taking care of my new nephew. will be so for at least another week i tink. dad just left yest evening for qing ming in msia. leaving me... all by myself... while i enjoy the solitude, esp when my youngest sis went to my sis's plce (ventilation @ nite!!!), i realized something (other than hving to wash my own clothes)...

i miss mom's food. i mean, its so much more healthier than watever's outside. just came back from the supermart as the fridge is like... empty? realized i cant live on my speciality - maggi mee + extra stuff. to my horror, i realized i cant cook to save myself!! (maggi mee doesn't count cos 90% of urbanites can cook maggi decently, so its nothing great).

browsing thro the fish section and i'm like.. ey.. wat is tis fish? how to cook? skip. tis fish... urm... give it a miss too. meat? Oh, that's worse. i so cannot cook meat.

ok ok, den i thot again. its not tt bad. i can cook vege. urm.. hantum sort. only because i hantum eat. but if i hv a family in the future how? sure die one. its also an irony my ex-cg members used to tink i can cook. i tink cooking is really a skill tt can be forgotten without practise.

but den, i also realize: its tough to cook for an individual. like cook for a group, its so much easier. curry, mixed vege, etc. etc. but for an individual? no wonder they say its not economical to cook for like one or two persons. No wonder singapore's food industry is doing so well.

perhaps i shld be 'glad' i'll be away in camp for three days next week... food will be provided. lol. ok... just comforting myself. i hope i dun hv to sleep in a tent. (i dun mind sleeping in tents, just not when i'm working.)

so anyhow, here's wat i ended up with in my ntuc plastic bag:
1 can of creamed corn
1 can of natas de coco
1 pack of corn (2 piecies) - i dunno y i bought so much corn
1 1.5l bottle of diet coke
1 packet of tao gua (2 pieces)

bizarre rite? well, as long as i can eat can oredi. i miss mommy's food... *sob*

i am a project manager

so many projects i wonder if i teach or wat....

there's the LSP, the NSWP, the IDPW, and now crafting the proposal for a CIP trip to Batam this coming Sept. LSP and NSWP is like really taking a LOT of time. The only reward tt makes it worthwhile, at the end of the day, students do learn more than wats in the syllabus, and seriously, they learn how to observe the environment and do research. Plus, I do enjoy the time with my gals (most of the time, not always lah). Well, I'm totally satisfied with that.

Hardly been home last couple of days. wed nite stayed over at HC's plce after prac. Easier to go sch the following morn. Who noes, the v set of stuff i brought to sch cos i stayed over (toiletries n sleeping stuff) came in useful on thurs. NSWP project's report from students was... urm... can be much better. and the deadline was friday!!! so told them we had to work harder tt evening. started meeting them during my CCA, and we continued working into the nite and MW's plce. so gd to hv my stay over stuff. Thank God for her helping out, if not, i'll be totally dead. Really appreciate an extra advisor, who's so much more senior and motherly than i am. we finished at abt 3.30am. i got home by 4am. got up by 6am to go to sch, to oversee the completion of NSWP report, the discussion for LSP, and vet 3 classes worth of IDPW's brief proposals before they set off for their IDPW action. That morn, was... a continuation of all hell's break lose. Strangely tho, i was alert and not as stoned as i expected myself to be. usually, when i dun hv enuff sleep (like anything less than 6), i'm like a stone, or walking time-bomb - short tempered. But no, friday was a miracle. I was nice, not as stoned... tho i tink i look bad according to my colleagues. its like.. duh... 2 hrs of sleep.

got home finally for a short nap (sadly too tired til cant nap) and forced myself out to meet old pals, Ag n C. Nice dinner n chat, and finally SLEEP!!

other than tt, the past weeks just getting tired w my class. i like them a lot. just dunno how to motivate them, so quite tiring. just collecting forms for camp, encouraging parents to let them go to camp, took up much of my time, much much less time to prepare sch work. but on friday morn, i must say... i was so touched i almost cried. been trying to get them to do something for Kindness Week, but things just moved very slowly. after a crazy day on thurs, followed by crazy nite and 2 hours sleep, when i reached sch on fri morn, as i approahced the staff room, my gals were giving out the cookies they baked for their teachers that morn. i was so so so so so so so so touched... that i really almost cried. its like... i also cannot describe that feeling lah.

TODAY:
i did 2 hours of blading. Mackies to Fort rd and back. NOT BAD EY! den travelled 1.5hrs to see my youngest nephew for the first time! he's another cute chap, slimmer and better tempered than his elder bro, who's well, still v much a baby.

Wldn't b home much in the coming week still. S3's camp. Will be in a super ulu part of singapore for 3 days. den finally, will rush w the gals for the LSP sharing (which marks the end of the project!!) den sun, my guit gals will be performing @ bedok reservoir. oh... i wan my holidays!!

Now, i just wanna go back to sleep again. i hvn't recovered from the sleep deprivation... nitesy....

My Brains

You have the unusual talent of being equally good at both mathematical and verbal skills. That, paired with your thirst to learn through experience, makes you an Inventive Inquisitor.

Your strength lies in the methodology you have naturally adopted to understand the world. Basically, you have perfected "learning through living." You have a unique ability to teach others by taking them through actual experiences. Your talents come in handy especially when confronted with unfamiliar or unproven situations. Most people search their brains for previously stored information that might help in a given situation. You, however, take things as they come and see things as they are. You are a great improviser and are probably open to an unusual amount of change

Another Inventive Inquisitor who demonstrates this very point was Ben Franklin. He suspected that lightning was a naturally occurring electrical current and realized he was correct once he conducted his famous kite-flying experiment on a stormy night. This is the type of novel approach that keeps your perspective fresh. Chances are, it has also helped you develop an unusually worldly sense of things. You use your inherent wisdom to branch out from what others too quickly assume to be the most "rational" solutions. This talent enables you to approach things creatively instead of following the rigid paths of life.

Great Jobs For You
Because of the way you process information, these are just some of the many careers in which you could excel:
Crisis Manager
Think Tank Consultant
Campaign Manager
Inventor
Creative Director
Teacher / Leader

Some of Your Greatest Talents
You've got tons of strengths. It wouldn't surprise us if you:
Spearhead new projects
Experiment without being discouraged
See the big picture
Teach or guide
Do work that is "hands-on" or has practical application

Based on the results of your test, Tickle divided your scores into four distinguishable dimensions — mathematical intelligence, visual-spatial intelligence, linguistic intelligence and logic intelligence.

Here's how each of your intelligence scores break down:
1. Mathematical Intelligence
You scored in the 80th percentile on the mathematical intelligence scale.This means that you scored higher than 70% - 80% of people who took the test and that 20% - 30% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.

Your mathematical intelligence score represents your combined ability to reason and calculate. You scored relatively high, which means you're probably the one your friends look to when splitting the lunch bill or calculating your waitresses' tip. You may or may not be known as a math whiz, but number crunching might come a little easier to you than it does others.

2. Visual-Spatial Intelligence
You scored in the 60th percentile on the visual-spatial intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 50% - 60% of people who took the test and that 40% - 50% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.

The visual-spatial component of intelligence measures your ability to extract a visual pattern and from that envision what should come next in a sequence. Your score was relatively high, which could mean that you're the one navigating the map when you're on an outing with friends. You have, in some capacity, an ability to think in pictures. Maybe this strength comes out in subtle ways, like how you play chess or form metaphors.

3.Your Linguistic Intelligence
You scored in the 80th percentile on the linguistic intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 70% - 80% of people who took the test and that 20% - 30% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.

Linguistic abilities include reading, writing and communicating with words. Tickle's test measures knowledge of vocabulary, ease in completing word analogies and the ability to think critically about a statement based on its semantic structure. Your score was relatively high, which could mean you know your way around a bookstore and maybe like to bandy about the occasional 25-cent word to impress friends.

4. Logical Intelligence
You scored in the 100th percentile on the logical intelligence scale.
This means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.

Tickle's logical intelligence questions assess your ability to think things through. The questions determine the extent to which you use reasoning and logic to determine the best solution to a problem. Your logic score was relatively high, which could mean that when the car breaks down, your friends look to you to help figure out not only what's wrong, but how to fix it and how you're going to get to the next gas station.

i miss being away....

its been a week since i left for my dive.. and i'm still thinking abt it! Think i just thoroughly love the getaway... now its gotten me like 'gian' for the next dive. tho not sure when that would be, completely.

wed went for course in the morn only to realize my boss had withdrawn us from the course. so i travelled all the way to the west in the early morn, stayed for abt two hours, and left halfway. dropped by ana's place and we played more silly tickle.com quiz stuff. she refused to do the classic IQ test quiz. *laughs* met my old sec fren for lunch and went home to crash before worship prac in the nite.

thurs, went running in east coast w haz n tes. Supposed to be blading, but cos i just had my lasik on mon, so decided to cut the risk and just run. it was like real hot, running at 10am onwards. Did from just before mackies to the jetty and back. quite happy lah. 'showered' in the public shower in east coast in my shorts and tank top. it was quite farnie. hung ard w haz ALL DAY! both of us thot we'll be home early, but no, we left parkway at abt 5 plus, after spending the entire afternn there for lunch and shopping! Bought like bronze belt, gold color shoes and a super short skirt lor (which i really dunno when i'll get to wear it. i mean, my teenage students wear those. if i wasn't a teacher, i'd have worn those. guess they'll only come out when i'm diving or overseas tt sorta thing).

today... omigosh, spend from 8am - 3pm at bukit timah w my gals. we took temp readings for a project at 8.30, 1 and 3pm. In between, made the gals do sketching, counting, and like slash thro the places we were going to take the temp readings. And since we had like between 9.30 - 1pm free in between the reading periods, we 'trekked' up to the summit. Deliberately chose the Rock Path cos its got a little interesting climbing bit. THe rest are... well, i'm like tour guide like that lor. Showing them stuff here and there. In between breaks, we also went to the playground. That was pretty fun. Lunch, walked out to beauty world, in the hot hot sun. Man, in short its DARN TIRING. Just glad to be chilling @ homne. gonna concuss soon.

tom going to the cuban all-star putumaya party. :) BUt tink need to get some work going... so... buaz holidays.... MISS YA!!

ok... i was bored....

The Classic IQ Test
What's Your IQ?

Your IQ score is 124
Your Intellectual Type is Inventive Inquisitor. You have the unusual distinction of being equally good at math and verbal skills. This means you are a creative thinker and are uniquely good at teaching others through experiences. You are also a great improviser and very good at handling change.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/uiq/index-pop.jsp?sid=1443&supp=728x90_IQ_picto_1_nobord&z=

holiday@tioman

diving was good. Not the best I've been to, obviously, but good enough to make me happy to get a break.

tis trip, it was much more comfy becoz unlike the usual, i do actually hv a place to sleep in on the boat en route to tioman. also, we arrived earlier, at about 3.30 instead of the usual 5am. on top of that, both morns, we got up late and started diving late. so, i did get sufficient sleep during tis trip, which is nice. lol.

being spoilt by the beautiful sites in the similans, sites were boring at first. but two were my fav. in one of it, its got beautiful beautiful corals. we even found like many nursing sharks! i tink i'm getting a little better at spotting things. hek hek hek. tink some of the dives cld hv been better/more interesting, but cos the experienced instructor got 'boated' due to some booboos along the way, we kind of have to make do with less experienced DMs who can spot things, just not as much, esp during nite dive. :) but all in all, i'm happy, so doean't matter.

i thot i'll neva really go back to tioman/dayang to dive again. but after the trip, i do realize the feeling's different from diving in thailand. thailand's real nice and comfy. like no need to travel like siao like this. but trips like these, are like real short getaways from work, so its different lor.

ok lah. nothing much to blog abt also.

lasik enhancement yesterday was like... like that lor... had to go thro the traumatizing ordeal again. tis time round, i'm a little myopic, for now, at least tt's wat the eye doc says. so we'll see how lah... anywayz, i'm gonna miss a survey dive at pulau jong tis weekend cos of the lasik. and i cant go blading tis week cos of the lasik too. sigh.

this is pretty kewl...

help me out here
http://kevan.org/jorahi?name=gniteux

i'm sorry. i tried to make this a link. but spent too long.. and it still didnt work. pls copy and paste. *grin*

its been a while...

so many things to blog. but many of them... have since passed by and gone pretty much forgotten or less significant than the very moment i was going thro them. trying to jolt back some items in my memory:

1. went blading twice. the first time was on vday... my school declared a sch hol because of gd O level results. went w some colleagues. i was nicked the 'screamer' because i practically screamed from the beginning til the end. "i cant stand up" "don't leave me" "don't go" "don't go so far" and of course, the usual "aaaaaaaaaaaah". second time was the following tuesday. went w tes after a long staff meeting. it was like 7-nish by the time we started blading. got a pretty aweful cut on my palm, but has fairly much recovered by now.

2. i did my 2.4km run last tues for some sch health thing. improved by abt 30odd seconds compared to last year. 14mins 18secs. not my best. but certainly one of the best since i started growing taller and heavier 10 yrs ago.

3. tis is a juicy one. but sad one too. met someone over a dinner and got 'crushed'. meaning i had a like crush on this person! stuff like this happens pretty rare and long in-between. the irony is, when i'm interested in someone, i suddenly become like this stupid, quiet, 'hv no mind of her own' gal instead of the like blabbermouth i usually am. EC somewhat laffed at me. she said, if i wasn't interested, i wld hv like just talked to him, got his no., contacted him as fren. but precisely cos i'm interested, SIGHZ!!! WHY? wat on earth is wrong with me? if it'd happened to someone else, i'd advice "call him and see how. get to noe him as fren and see how lah. happen happen. dun happen dun happen". But sigh sigh... when it comes to myself, the usual brave, adventurous, social blabbermouth just decide to retreat to one corner and sulk that nothig's happening. SHEESH. IDIOT ME!

4. apparently got pretty stressed of how my church band wans me to be a band leader i like dreamt last nite! that i totally screwed up one worship session because like i was made to start the songs and i only prac the nite before w the band and i dun rem the song. the two most talented 'leaders' of the band were there.. and i so completely messed things up. lol

5. School holidays coming. Not exactly have a full one week off, but at least 3 days off. anywayz here's the plan for the coming week or so:
this wed - fri --> on full day course
fri - sun --> going diving. hope to rush back in time on sun for my class's gathering (but unlikely)
mon --> going for my lasik correction
tues --> nothing so far. :)
wed & thurs --> full day course
fri --> bringing some kids out to bukit timah nature reserve for an entire day to collect data for project.
sat --> mosiac's cuban putomaya band
sun --> playing for service

Hmm.... that's just somethings i can rem. the rest of the 'significant' things (esp with my class) just becomes insignificant the next day cos new things arise. *laughs*

Anyhow... that's that... meanwhile... getting fat.....

I have no idea wat on earth this... just like thamps

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

Shopoholic giraffe strikes again!!

I bought a pair of blades yesterday. COst me like 210 bucks. And nope, my mom has not seen it yet. Hid it under her bed with my dive gear. lol. Oh no, I justread this week's papers. There was an article on shopaholics. One of the symptoms is that... they tend to hide their purchases. I've been hiding my purchases from last week at Ana's place for a while before I chose to bring them back on a day when mom wldn't see my buys. And now again.. EEKS!

Meanwhile, went for tuesdies gathering yesterday. Thot it was a ladies' meeting. But later realized the guys were meeting there too. Just in another room. But I was shocked to see the guys at the apartment in the first place. Luckily I did not bring my swimming gear to swim. lol. SHY wat...

CHecked out substation w tes, AO and AO's fren (whose chinese name i cant rem. usual) Generaly nice place to chill. Tho cocktail's standard was not too great.

And... Tues is a school hol for me!!! Sch did well enough to declare a sch hol!! YEAH! (i brawfed some of my frens saying tt sch decided to encourage their staff to celebrate a good vday in response to the pro-family directives from the govt. lol) No lah. But it'll be a good day to catch up on work. Makes me feel particularly relaxed and happy this weekend. :)

she sell seashells on the seashore

ok. its official.

I LOVE SEASHELLS!!!

Everytime i look at seashells.... Those on my bedside.... Those that had been strung into bracelets... Those that had been strung into necklace (which i wore as an anklet instead)... Ah.. I feel so happy...

Shells are perhaps the closest reminder of God's creation to me in this small, hectic urban life. Some of those I look at are picked up with I was at East coast as a primary school kid. I cant recognize which ones exactly. BUt I know the two pieces with barnacles at my bedside are amongst those I've picked up more than a decade ago. There was a small 3cm stick of coral I picked up when I backpacked to the Southern THailand Islands in 2001. (No, you are not supposed to pick up corals. But then, i seriously had no idea what a coral was.) THere was a piece EC picked for me from Samui. THere was quite a collection from my recent trip to khaolak. Some picked up by myself, a couple by EC, most of them, by this lady massuer I went to, who passed me an entire bag of shells when she saw the few shells I picked up and tied in a plastic bag on my sling.

When I see the shells, i try to think.. calcium carbonate. They used to be homes.. and protection to different types of animals. Clams, barnacles, cowries, and the many that I cannot identify. Eventually when the residents in these shells perish, hermit crabs might have taken refuge in them (i rem my Mr Shy!! EC and I released on Nang Thong beach. Wat an adventure it had travelling from Tap Tawan beach, to the tiled toilet in Phu Khao Lak, before hitting the strong waves of Nang Thong beach). Some of the lives... of the shells i hold in my hand... have come and gone, more than 10 years ago... Leaving behind a skeleton.. we call.. shells... But they have experienced tides... beautiful fishes... coral... YOu never know where they've been to. For some pieces. Yes. For others (that necklace, my elder sister got from Papua New Guinea I think), i have no idea. But guess wat? My Abba knows each of they stories!

I have a fetish for airports and planes (ok, this is random). But I have a greater fetish for shells. Sadly, i'm not exactly doing the right thing. See, whenever one picks up a shell, we are reducing the potential homestay of a hermitcrab in search of a new home. But... I just love them so much I can't resist. So much for conserving the environment. Surely there are enough shells to go round? :P At least shells are hardly a currency now, making them less in deamdn?

In any case, I have a fetish for shells. Because, the fact that they are skeletons... beautiful remains... beautiful memories.... beautiful evidence.... beautiful testimony of His greatness and awesomeness....

I wanna live in a shell castle... ah ha ha ha...

*Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea*

Mmm mmmm....

Oh yeah... i wonder how Mr Shy is doing now. Wat do u tink EC? God, only You noe!

shopaholic giraffe

i've been shopping....

Tuesday.... while waiting for farewell tea in town, went shopping and bought a Yen top from Robinsons, and another top from warehouse.

Wednesday.... went shopping w ana after work.... ended up with a new pair of shoes and a bag from Isetan.

Today.... after lunch after church, thot i'll go home. but ended up hving to help use my card pay for stuff for a person leaving for studies abroad. so hung ard a bit w ana.... ended up... buying another top from topshop!!!

I'm like.... NOT GOOD!!!

Doesn't help ana passed me two books on wednesday, shopaholic abroad and shopaholic ties the knot. I finished the first book on friday nite itself (too stressed to work) and not I'm halfway thro the second book. OMIGOSH. this is bad.. this is bad.. i seriously need to get started on preparing next week's work...

been feasting... so pretty... hmm... rounded now.... even mom's complaining... but hvn't gotten chance to exercise cos i hvn't been well. i noe tt's wat i said at the beginnning of the year. But well... i'm not sick sick... but just everytime by the end of the week on fridays... i'll just start getting the 'onset of cold' attack... :( i hope this stops soon...

meanwhile,... , i'm still pretty much living one day at a tmie. :) keeps me sane....

3 weeks into 2006...

I've finally posted again. :)

Yes, been busy. There are occasions when I do have a couple of minutes in front of my PC to blog, however, somehow its tough to blog given just a couple of minutes. Hvn't been home much. After late days at work, had been busy with meetings, dinners or practices. Maybe I'm too much a 'feel' person. I'll need the 'feel' to blog. ANd finally, its not exactly here. But the 'no-feel' is not present. :)

Yet, I have no idea where to begin. This year has come quickly. School has been managable thus far. Only getting busier with each day. With what? An interesting class whose interesting characters I've grown a special affinity to. Although, when it means I've grown to love them, it also means, each encouragement means something, but each disappointment also means a lot. Everyday, new things (its plural) happen. Its only three weeks, but I've really learnt what it means to entrust all to Him and not to worry. I don't worry for my gals (not yet!) BUt I must admit I do not really know how to handle situations extremely well. Just relying on Him day by day, praying that they will grow in maturity, they will grow to know him, and I will grow with them through this year. Other stuff I'm busy in school, PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS... Am I a project coordinator or a teacher? Good gracious. The most ironic part is, the computer jinx and IT idiot I am have sort of become the 'gadget-woman' of my department. I even just had a two-hour course with one of my project group gals in which I taught them how to use softwares and hardwares (which I learnt how to use on Friday during a training). I almost fainted of laughter (inside myself) as I stood in front of the lab using the computer to show them the steps using words like 'browser... click on this... that...' I seriously dunno what God is up to man. lol Just fortunate heavy marking is not in yet. Starting tomorrow. HA. So meantime, just keeping my cool being a mother and project co-ordinator.

Frens... I witnessed a brother's marriage during the weekend. It was one of the 'coolest' wedding I've been to. Nope, nothing 'interesting'. In fact, its so simple you hardly have those surprise items etc. But seeing this brother who has been so faithful to God through all these years, seeing how God in return showed Himself to be faithful... its is so touching really! I'm not even close to him, but i was close to tearing during the service when I sensed his gratefulness and God's faithfulness. Did baking once with Ana. :) My dear ex-cookie expert cant even use her new oven. lol. But we baked decent.

Really, so many things happening (not SPECTACULAR) but many things.. I don't noe what to write. Perhaps the only thing constant (almost) would be through these times, I'm learning to rely on Him and to trust in Him. When work presses in, handling lives comes in, managing my time and frenshipts, I'm really learning to rely on Him. My prayer is to be able to hear Him, see the way He sees, and have the grace and wisdom to glorify His name where He has placed me. I know it sounds general, but tt's generally my life now. :)

Oh oh, and I've 'sort-of' started running again. Can't confirm if i've really started. *laughs* Cos its only been a week. Hope to keep it on...

3 weeks into 2006... I still miss diving. I still miss the beautiful times volunteering. But I'm so looking forward to the things ahead, knowing that He's ahead too... :)

BTW, vani, I'm sorry, I've lost ur blog addy. Can you pls send it to me again? Also, has the great reveal occurred yet? ;)

"kodak" moments of 2006

Day 4 of 2006. Here are some of the memorable bits / bits worth talking about:

0000am, 01012006
I was 'stuck' in a fren's fren's car. We were supposed to go watch fireworks somewhere, but somehow due to heavy traffic and bad timing, we were stuck on the road in between the padang and the court. Its not too bad cos we still get to watch the fireworks, only the lower portions got blocked. Still, some are so large and spectacular, i cld still see them in full view and go 'wow'. What made this moment a 'kodak' moment is to hear some of my Thai frens' voice over the fon. I called them at midnight, wishing them a happy new year, when its still new year's eve at their end. And everyone I knew from the shop happened to be together then and I spoke to my DM there as well. The feeling was so warm... looking at the fireworks.. hearing their voice... so excited. Man, that really made that moment special.

Still on friends...
I met up w the fren who 'dropped' me last year on NYE for dinner. It was nice. We caught up. Even though I'm cautious abt not committing fully into this r/s the way I did then, it was still nice to have a 'close' to that strange episode that left me bewildered, disappointed, sad and to some extent angry.
Another dear thing is i got to talk to someone i was really close to years ago. Strange how relationships regress / progress. Its really comforting to be able to have both parties just opening up and talking, as in, just talk the way we are without having to consider too many things.

Others...
Don't wanna talk too much about school. Its really challenging. But I'm constantly reminding myself that I am going to look forward to relying more on God, to see how He works in the many challenging issues and tasks I'm assigned. All in all, I'm feeling real strange teaching. Guess its been months since I stood in front of a class and teach proper. Not used to it. Sometimes, I'm not too aware of what's going on, but just going through the motion. Of course, I attribute that to a large extent the fact that I hvn't been well. All the coughing is really making pretty stoned and tired. Really hate that feeling. Cant wait to be well and alert in class.

Long-sighted giraffe
Just came back from a checkup for my lasik in the evening. Thot this would be the final consultation. But NO.... according to my doc, my left eye is over-corrected by 100 degrees. Its not a lot, but that explains why my left eye feels 'stupid' or 'retarded'. Also, when I'm tired, my left eye's vision does blur. Well, also cant see clearly when I read the papers. Now I know the reason why. I'm not upset. Never regretted the procedure. But its not something anyone wans to go through again. But in two months, if the next review shows the same eye degree, I might have to do an 'enhancement' to 'correct' this 'overcorrection'. Eeks! Meanwhile, I"ll just have to leave with it, who noes i might just get used to this 'stupid-eye' feeling.

Resolves...
Doesn't come under 'kodak'moments. Does it matter? *laughs*
1. Do my rescue diving course. (failed in 2005, possibly in 2006 too)
2. Still under consideration: Get my driving license? (probably fat hope)
3. urm... ....
Well, lets' just say I've given up with coming up with new year resolutions. Just hopes here and there... and that's pretty much it. :) Life's easier that way.