3 weeks into 2006...

I've finally posted again. :)

Yes, been busy. There are occasions when I do have a couple of minutes in front of my PC to blog, however, somehow its tough to blog given just a couple of minutes. Hvn't been home much. After late days at work, had been busy with meetings, dinners or practices. Maybe I'm too much a 'feel' person. I'll need the 'feel' to blog. ANd finally, its not exactly here. But the 'no-feel' is not present. :)

Yet, I have no idea where to begin. This year has come quickly. School has been managable thus far. Only getting busier with each day. With what? An interesting class whose interesting characters I've grown a special affinity to. Although, when it means I've grown to love them, it also means, each encouragement means something, but each disappointment also means a lot. Everyday, new things (its plural) happen. Its only three weeks, but I've really learnt what it means to entrust all to Him and not to worry. I don't worry for my gals (not yet!) BUt I must admit I do not really know how to handle situations extremely well. Just relying on Him day by day, praying that they will grow in maturity, they will grow to know him, and I will grow with them through this year. Other stuff I'm busy in school, PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS... Am I a project coordinator or a teacher? Good gracious. The most ironic part is, the computer jinx and IT idiot I am have sort of become the 'gadget-woman' of my department. I even just had a two-hour course with one of my project group gals in which I taught them how to use softwares and hardwares (which I learnt how to use on Friday during a training). I almost fainted of laughter (inside myself) as I stood in front of the lab using the computer to show them the steps using words like 'browser... click on this... that...' I seriously dunno what God is up to man. lol Just fortunate heavy marking is not in yet. Starting tomorrow. HA. So meantime, just keeping my cool being a mother and project co-ordinator.

Frens... I witnessed a brother's marriage during the weekend. It was one of the 'coolest' wedding I've been to. Nope, nothing 'interesting'. In fact, its so simple you hardly have those surprise items etc. But seeing this brother who has been so faithful to God through all these years, seeing how God in return showed Himself to be faithful... its is so touching really! I'm not even close to him, but i was close to tearing during the service when I sensed his gratefulness and God's faithfulness. Did baking once with Ana. :) My dear ex-cookie expert cant even use her new oven. lol. But we baked decent.

Really, so many things happening (not SPECTACULAR) but many things.. I don't noe what to write. Perhaps the only thing constant (almost) would be through these times, I'm learning to rely on Him and to trust in Him. When work presses in, handling lives comes in, managing my time and frenshipts, I'm really learning to rely on Him. My prayer is to be able to hear Him, see the way He sees, and have the grace and wisdom to glorify His name where He has placed me. I know it sounds general, but tt's generally my life now. :)

Oh oh, and I've 'sort-of' started running again. Can't confirm if i've really started. *laughs* Cos its only been a week. Hope to keep it on...

3 weeks into 2006... I still miss diving. I still miss the beautiful times volunteering. But I'm so looking forward to the things ahead, knowing that He's ahead too... :)

BTW, vani, I'm sorry, I've lost ur blog addy. Can you pls send it to me again? Also, has the great reveal occurred yet? ;)

"kodak" moments of 2006

Day 4 of 2006. Here are some of the memorable bits / bits worth talking about:

0000am, 01012006
I was 'stuck' in a fren's fren's car. We were supposed to go watch fireworks somewhere, but somehow due to heavy traffic and bad timing, we were stuck on the road in between the padang and the court. Its not too bad cos we still get to watch the fireworks, only the lower portions got blocked. Still, some are so large and spectacular, i cld still see them in full view and go 'wow'. What made this moment a 'kodak' moment is to hear some of my Thai frens' voice over the fon. I called them at midnight, wishing them a happy new year, when its still new year's eve at their end. And everyone I knew from the shop happened to be together then and I spoke to my DM there as well. The feeling was so warm... looking at the fireworks.. hearing their voice... so excited. Man, that really made that moment special.

Still on friends...
I met up w the fren who 'dropped' me last year on NYE for dinner. It was nice. We caught up. Even though I'm cautious abt not committing fully into this r/s the way I did then, it was still nice to have a 'close' to that strange episode that left me bewildered, disappointed, sad and to some extent angry.
Another dear thing is i got to talk to someone i was really close to years ago. Strange how relationships regress / progress. Its really comforting to be able to have both parties just opening up and talking, as in, just talk the way we are without having to consider too many things.

Others...
Don't wanna talk too much about school. Its really challenging. But I'm constantly reminding myself that I am going to look forward to relying more on God, to see how He works in the many challenging issues and tasks I'm assigned. All in all, I'm feeling real strange teaching. Guess its been months since I stood in front of a class and teach proper. Not used to it. Sometimes, I'm not too aware of what's going on, but just going through the motion. Of course, I attribute that to a large extent the fact that I hvn't been well. All the coughing is really making pretty stoned and tired. Really hate that feeling. Cant wait to be well and alert in class.

Long-sighted giraffe
Just came back from a checkup for my lasik in the evening. Thot this would be the final consultation. But NO.... according to my doc, my left eye is over-corrected by 100 degrees. Its not a lot, but that explains why my left eye feels 'stupid' or 'retarded'. Also, when I'm tired, my left eye's vision does blur. Well, also cant see clearly when I read the papers. Now I know the reason why. I'm not upset. Never regretted the procedure. But its not something anyone wans to go through again. But in two months, if the next review shows the same eye degree, I might have to do an 'enhancement' to 'correct' this 'overcorrection'. Eeks! Meanwhile, I"ll just have to leave with it, who noes i might just get used to this 'stupid-eye' feeling.

Resolves...
Doesn't come under 'kodak'moments. Does it matter? *laughs*
1. Do my rescue diving course. (failed in 2005, possibly in 2006 too)
2. Still under consideration: Get my driving license? (probably fat hope)
3. urm... ....
Well, lets' just say I've given up with coming up with new year resolutions. Just hopes here and there... and that's pretty much it. :) Life's easier that way.

Typical colors and pictures along the road - colors of reconstruction


My 'bungalow' - its a quarter of that building. hehz

THAIKEA - another of TVC's project

Scenery from Boat yard - TVC's another project

Police boat that got beached 1km in from the coast

Tap Tawan team @ our communal table. Think the animals are under the table. :)

On truck going to work

First septic tank i dug

Beginning stage

Wall coming to a completion

Laying the last brick of my wall

End-product of each house of my project


Sunset @ Nang THong Beach

Viewpoint of Ko Similan

Ko Similan's beach

From the viewpoint on Ko Similan

Addicted to nitrox

Another pair of trusty shoes I left behind

Weeks ago....

Five weeks ago Saturday, I was at the dentist, yet to pack my stuff.
Four weeks ago Saturday, I was on the dive boat. At this hour, I'd probably just did my first dive at the Similans.
Three weeks ago, I was on my way leaving Khao Sok National Park.
Two weeks ago, I was on my way leaving Khao Lak, where I left part of my heart in.
One week ago, somewhere in Singapore, I can't really be bothered to know what happened then.

The entry about my trip was long overdue. Not because I'm busy. But simply, I do not know where to begin. People ask me how the trip was, there is too much to say. The only word that I could use, despite its lack of substance to describe everything is 'Awesome'.

Memorial bits include the daily cold showers in the early morn and late evenings, the wonderful people I've met in my project, doing the basics for the people there, the parties at night, the beautiful dive sites and great dive people I've met, some impromptu things that happen when u travel, the simple routine every day, good and bad things I've seen and learnt about human ....

The simple routine....
We work on weekdays. Life is pretty straightforward. Wake up at 7.30 Cold shower. Change. Sunblock. Tell my two pigtail. Pack. Leave my place at 8.15. Reach Nang Thong supermkt at 8.30. Say hi to my teammates and get a yoghurt. Get picked up on our truck and drive to work. Work is the only things tt's not routine as you never know what you'll be assigned to do, and well, things just don't go the way they should. SOmetimes, just a lot of waiting. No electricity. No water. Power tools fail. Something's missing. Typical. :) First thing at work site, go to tool shed and pack whatever we need for our tasks assigned. Lunch at 12-ish with the rest at our table. Usual cat/dog/chicken/pig fights to entertain us during meal times. Continue work. Pack up. Keep tools at tool shed. Take the truck back. Silly conversations on the truck. Back at my place, cold shower again. Wash my work clothes (I only have 2 sets I wear on alternate working days). Meet for dinner. A couple of nights a week there may be activities. Sleep.

My teammates....
People from all over the world, all ages, different experiences, different personalities. One thing great though is, everyone's real. Here, no one needs to be nice for any motives. They are just nice. It makes my heart so warm to work with them. I miss them all. I could just sit here and type and cry at the same time thinking of the times spent with them. Special friends I'm met include Kara, Kate and Sukhy.

Diving....
Is awesome. I went there the first weekend break. Perfect weather. Sites are awesome. MANY MANY things to see. Met cute people. Quirky tho. Usual asses. Also met nice folks. Kara, Kate and I managed to have the boat to ourselves after the day-trippers left. Our two dive guides then brought us to Ko Similan's viewpoint for a couple of hours while the boat went to stock up freshwater from a waterfall nearby. We talked. about many things. Happy stories and sad stories of the tsunami experienced by our guides themselves who were there during that fateful day. Starry night. We even had dolphins circling our boat all nite. My dive instructors told us that has neva happened before. I guess we just have loads of flying fish ard our boat for the dolphins to hunt. Its awesome!!!! A whole school of them, seven inclusive of two baby dolphines.... aw..... My guide tells me I'm a good diver. SO HAPPY!! :) I went on a second liveaboard on the last 2 days of my trip in Khao Lak. This time, I was alone as Kara and Kate have left. Weather was cloudy. No sun. :( Strong widns and hugh waves. Neva dived in such big waves before. But I'm glad I took the challenge. I'm much more confident now. The captain of the boat later hand-signed to me 'big waves... u dive... u good...' lol. Whatever conditions, diving in the Similans is still amazing. :)

Sotong...
I've been eating like squid everyday... Phad Thai with squid. Noodle soup with squid. ... ... I LOVE SQUID and they are so affordable there!!! :P

Squid-fishing
My team had the opportunity to go squid-fishing one afternn with the villagers. We knocked off 2 hours earlier and followed them to the beach nearby and saw how they fished for squid. Tools: just a twig with little crab meat at the end poked into it as bait and a sharp metal rod to poke them in their holes one we've lured them out enough. Our catch, ten plus of us, was... 2 tentacles. LOL. PATHETIC!!!

Impromtu event 1
During the second weekend, Kara, Kate, EC and myself decided to go to Khao Sok National Park, about 70km away for tubing (that's sitting on a rubber type - for mine, just sinking into it rather, cos its too huge!!) down the river for the day and return to Khao Lak. But thanks to the previous night's hangover, plus the fact that the journey took 2.5 hours instead of the 1 hour we expected, we arrived there at about 3.30pm, only to realize that the last bus leaves there for Khao Lak at 5pm!! So, only in shorts, tank top and my swimwear, with nothing else except a waterbottle and some cash, WE WERE STUCK AT THE COLD PARK FOR THE NIGHT!! Went tubing anywayz. Got pants and tshirt for the night. But its an 'ulu' place. So, watever patterned clothes, we just grab, as long as we can keep warm for the night. lol

Impromptu Event 2
The false alarm! On the last day of work, there was a short siren followed by a short announcement in Thai. My Thai teammate looked worried. We asked her what it was and she said it said 'big waves'. She tried to contact our Center for more information, but no one was really sure except people from our other projects were evacuated into higher grounds as well. So anyway, we did evacuate to higher grounds. No one knew what was going on, as there was no prior information that there was going to be a drill. Later, we realized, the technician in Bangkok pressed the button by mistake when the drill was supposed to be the following day. MY GOSH! I had to go back and knock down one brick I just laid as I did not have time to set it straight before we left the site, and the cement had set, the crooked brick. GOSH! Irritating (its a lot of work!). But iwasn't alone, Sukhy was complaining too. *laughs* When I'm home and recounted this story, someone asked me how I felt then. Honestly, I did not know how I was supposed to feel. When we were evacuating, I wasn't worried because I knew it takes time for tsunami waves to travel, and as long as there was prior warning, there would be sufficient time. But I was also feeling.. strange... Another tsunami, even with warning, would still mean... deaths.... I hated that part.... And then, I wasn't sure if I want to hear any more deaths. There's been enough. Too many lives have been taken. Too many families wrecked and separated. sighz...

Work there...
Two days of literal shitholes and weeks of brick laying and occasional foundation setting. Shitholes are 2m deep holes dug from the ground. When digging them, you get wet and dirty from groundwater that keeps flowing in despite using a pump and bucketing them out manually. Our project manager promised us no poop with his fingers crossed. We found something and retained it for his view. Kara went 'it looks like poop, it smells like poop, it is poop'. Andy, our project manager used a stick, poking the stuff and scrutinizing it went 'it looks like poop, it smells like poop.... its probably poop.' That was the end of our shithole job. lol

Reconstruction....
can take place very quickly if resources are available and if they have an incentive to. First day I reached Khao Lak, the bus stopped us like....in the middle of nowhere... literally. The entire 'road' was simply... sand and gravel!!! First week I was there... tarring of the road took place. Second work, they built a road divider. Overnight, trees were tranplanted into the road divider. Walkpaths at the sides were being tiled. Third week, lampposts on road divider. Road lanes were marked out. By the the end of third week when I was leaving, the road ... was... amazing. Comparable to Singapore's road that sort of thing. Reason? The anniversary is coming... Everyday from the second week onwards, new shops open. The 'in the middle of nowhere' i stepped into suddenly became a developed tourist destination. My question though is, why so late? Money turns the world around doesn't it?

I cannot continue typing anymore. There's just too much. :) Brings back such good memories I may start to feel blue again! :) One thing tho I've learnt, when I'm there, I enjoy it, appreciate the time. Now that its 'over', I am not going to be upset that my 'happy' time is over. But rather, I'm happy I was there, my life has truly been enriched.

one word: Awesome.

dentist visit costs me a BOMB...

but nvm. tom morn i'll be gone from singapore. if you want to know what i'm up to, you can refer to www.tsunamivolunteer.net

dun miss me. i'll try to update wats been happening here. depending on the cost of internet services (and actually, more imptly, the availability of it).

See ya... in a .... while... :)

i have a 'i'm attached' look.

At sushi tei during a rush rush lunch (we kidnapped MsG's car at 2.30 as sushi tei closes at 3 and drove round the sch to hv our sashimi salad), we were just talking.

Colleague S asked Colleague T wat kind of guy she's interested in and she will help her look out for that sort. So colleague T went down her list. So i questioned Collegue S "hey wat abt me? hello? i noe u longer u noe?" just to disturb her.

Colleague S proceeded to say this phrase that was so familiar to me, heard from different parties in my life 'Oh, you look like you are attached. a.k.a 'you have the attached look'. i was like....not again. Colleauge T den agreed.

Define the attached look, i demanded. T said... its the outgoing, confidence that makes pple tink i'm attached and not interested / need someone else?!?!?!

I'm like. Ok. that does it. I'm gonna blog this crap. Colleague S recommended me a Nike t-shirt that reads 'i'm available'. lol. But i tink, i'm happy sticking to my Nike singlet that goes 'i eat watever i want to eat'. yum yum.

Speaking of which, having some dull ache at my right jaw. cant eat properly. sigh. will see a dentist (finally!) before i fly off on sunday. cant risk dying of toothache in thailand. and yeah, its unfair. i take care of my teeth. but its all in the genes. darn.

blessed blue bimbo

Life have been fairly bleah bleah over the week. Over the past 24 X 7 hours, what sums up my bleah bleah life?

Taking ice-cream for breakfast every morning before going to work.

Usual. Meeting. SOW. Meeting. SOW. Meeting. SOW. and watever other paperwork.

Met ana twice actually this week. She's gonna make me a wrapdress. :) We did something 'notti' on friday. ah ha ha. but it was fun. we had some bimbotic conversations. two of which i cld sum up as: if i had got braces done, like a boob job and a lipo round my hips, i cld be a model. AH HA HA.and oh, if i wear my loop earrings with a bustier dress she made, i cld end up looking like SPG. lol. ok. bimbo moments.

Kena 'forced' to a family 'outing'. My consolation is definitely my two nephews. OMG. They are so adorable, esp the elder one... every time i see his face on my mobile fon, my heart just melts.... sure the best way to beat the blues. look at my mobile. :)

Just went for a CCCCC today. CCCCC = Communicating Christ Cross-Culturally Course. Honestly, it was bleah. The only thing that was useful last like the final 30 mins when i had a brief on XXXXX. CCCCC comprises of concepts i've learnt over the years in various stages of my education life: communication, culture. CCCCC just ended up... being a combination of those two tog. Nonetheless, it was not bad. I just wldn't sign up for it ever again.

Perhaps the most 'exciting' thing that happened was my dinner just now, where i had Ms Ethopia-Universe sitting beside me. Cool eh? Actually, its not that exciting lah. But she's really nice and frenly.

The most 'meaningful' time i had was my slow walk w mom to ntuc area to hunt for wrapping paper. Man, its hard to find wrapping paper nowadays. In the slow walk,we just chitchatted and sorts. Also commenting on how the landscape of the ntuc area where i grew up in has changed. The old 'traditional' shops that were there... are now gone, cldn't survive the tough compeition of the world now. It was pretty sad. I mean, i felt sad for these pple.. cos these little shops.. added to the memories that made me who i am. HAIZ.

Current State: sometimes bimbotic, sometimes blessed, sometimes blue

mache.suntec.or.heeren.

met up w dive gang yest, after a long while. nice to catch up. usual. booboo. was pretty late cos i spend my afternn w ana. and before i left, she insisted on dolling me up putting on makeup for me just for the fun of it. but it was fun, havn't done that in years.

anywayz, i arrived at hmv, an hour late (its ok, diver's time are pretty flexible, except when underwater). called GR

me: "its crowded here. do i hv to join the queue?"
GR: "no, just tell them u hv a table inside."
me: "where are you?"
GR: "just in front of the rosti section"

got to the rosti section

me: "cant find you. where are you?"
GR: "here here. right in front. dun see u."
*sense of foreboding*
me: "which mache are you in?"
GR: "suntec"
me: "WL, i'm in hmv. ok. be there in 30mins"

Sigh. But all in all, good week catching up. Monday was work lunch. Tues was CG. Wed met my Di and crashed in the worship prac followed by a long nite supper w SS, P n mommy. Thurs, tink i chilled@home. Fri had dinner w HH n her family. sat met divers.(sandfly was present. she talked to me as per norm, as if nothing had occurred. so i just left the matter as that. afterall, wat's the point? i'm a talker. but sometimes if talking doesn't help, den so be it.) today had hari raya lunch at haz's place.

Been quite busy running abt the place and procrastinating with regards to work. progress been very slow. but need to buck up. loads of things to be settled before i leave. and many more appointments to come. AH... KILL THE PROCRASTINATOR!!!!

*btw, thnx jas for making a point to inform me abt apprentice. silly me went to check the results online on tues, only to realize later that the results are not out on tv!!! argh. but anuywayz, the stronger contestant i felt win. :)

HOW COULD I!!! SUCH AN IDIOT!!!

i JUST realized that I MISSED THE FINALE FOR APPRENTICE!!!

drats man. i've been like watching this series for like months. And this is like the only show i really actually catch. JUST WAITING for the cose to see who wins and guess wat? i completely forgot. As i was brushing my teeth just now, i was still tinking, oi. .. like sunday i neba watch apprentice. the last time i watched as a while ago.. but no leh, i neva miss.

idiot i am. yesterday, sunday which did not feel like a sunday cos i brought my kids for performance at the national library, den rushed to pick Fel from the airport. by the time i got home, it was ten. meaning I CLD HV CAUGHT THE SHOW!!! but all the rushing abt made me lose track of time. it was so hard to rem it was sun thro'out the day once i left church. MAN!!! this really stinks. :(

Very upset.

Catch up

I've been making an effort to meet up with my frens now that I can wake up slightly later for school (and this week's public holidays help). Inspired to treasure the relationships and people that have come into my life over the many years and what better time than now.

Earlier this week, I met up with C and Aggie. Tonight, met up with Ah Tong, Chee and Joan. 2 1/2 years ago, our paths crossed. Tong, Chee and myself were doing contract teaching, while Joan was doing her practicum. Today, all of us are dispersed in the different schools (none of us ended up in the school we met. How ironic). It was a good nite of laughter, provided by the wit of Chee, supported by Tong. Chee was the most 'linguistically-challenged' amongst us all. I remember the times Tong and I helped him to prepare for his EPT. REmembered teaching him how to pronounce 'zero'. Yet, it was also him, despite his smaller vocabulary stock who made us laugh. Chee also injected loads of positivism in the way he felt we should take life.

Overall, it was a light-hearted and pleasant session where those involved (who happen to be educators) chose not to grumble or whine about their lives (in school), but rather talk about how blessed we are.

Sweet.

Girl Power

had a gathering of old gals - C, Aggie n myself - of ten years on the beach last nite. while sipping our drinks and picking on the fingerfood, C said her Dad asked why we did not plan to stayover at her place for the nite.

over the past ten years, from teens to adulthood, through times of laughter, sadness, encouragement, disappointment with each other, we had stayed over at C's place many times. All the usual gals' night of chattering, fighting for space on the one bed, racking of her kitchen for midnight snack, endless giggling, poking fun at each other's crushes of yond... C is getting married next year. The family will be moving out in two months. Where we shared our special moments, soon they will no longer be ours.

I told C I thot she's busy so I did not ask tho the thot did come to my mind. So at that moment, we decided to stay over nite... very likely, the last time we'll ever do that.

As usual, we did the raking of her wardrobe for change of clothes. Shoved each other for some room on the bed. Racked her kitchen and the fridge. Spent some time watching tv. Laughed. Giggled. Talked (yest nite's topic included sleep paralysis and sleep... urm.. another sleep disorder condition we all were suffering from). The same way we did for the many years. The only difference - we were ten years older, and we lack the stamina to last much later into the night. By 2am, the other two gals were pretty gone. I managed to make them hang on watching tv and eat icecream til about 3am. Then, we all concuzzed.

Slept on the makeshift beds her dad prepared for us (even before we reached her place). An inflatable bed and another, well... sort of mat? Everything was laid out so nicely with pillows and blankets. Even when we left this morning, we met her dad on the gate while he was driving in and he asked if we were coming back for lunch. Her dad, despite our age, always make us feel like we are back to being little girls. How sweet...

In any case, we just heard in the morning that there was a warehouse sale at the Expo. We decided to go. I underwent my retail therapy. Adding on to the previous trophies (of wet suit, watches, skirts, shoes over the past month), THREE bags, THREE sets of lingerie, and one top. I MUST STOP SHOPPING!!!! (This excludes the one more skirt I bought whle I was in Geylang w Haz). I'm so gone. I must so stop spending!!! No more highclass food... No more shopping... ARGH...

Oh and one thing I've learnt: I will never ever shop in warehouse sale EVER AGAIN!! LIke this is my first experience, and we spent over an hour queuing!!! NEVER EVER!!!

SO much for coming home last nite, waking up early this morn to do work. HA. What a joke. So am I going to start work soon? ... Well, I really need to catch fortywinks from sleep deprivation and tink i do need to go for CG later. SHEESH. Whatever. Enjoy while I can. No point thinking of work when I'm enjoying. That will come later. AH HA HA HA.... zzzzz.....

yeah, i shld be typing away on my school work

but i went to check out AG's blog and came up with this.



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

that woman is so artistic my goodness, God isn't fair. *laughs*

I don't want to work anymore!!!

plans for nov/dec vacation

i hvn't updated this here tho some pple are oredi aware.

nope, i wldn't be heading to india. EC and i hv decided to go to Thailand instead. we will be joining a local volunteer center that is working on the rebuilding of the lives of those affected by the tsunami which hit last year, on my birthday. a year has passed. many pple ask me, huh? why are you going there? but really, it takes time for communities to be rebuilt. wat am i gonna do there? i hv no idea. i hope *fingers cramped from crossing* that they wouldn't make me teach. maybe picking up litter, *laughs*, maybe painting, maybe teaching, maybe diving ;). Honestly, i hv no idea. all i noe is, as a volunteer, i have availed my time. its not wat i wanna do, its wats needed there.

is it a pity to give up india now that i've actualy found a companion to go with me? it wasn't an easy decision. but the way i look at it: i have heaven ahead where i tink i can do a lot of nice things. but in heaven, i will not have the blessed opportunity to be God's hands to bless. This, I can now do on earth. Is it worth it? I dunno. Is He pleased? I hope so.

in any case, if you would like to contribute in monetary terms (i've written in to enquire what they want... old clothes etc etc... but they cited financial support), i can be your 'tranferer' to transport your contribution for their works there to rebuild lives. u can pass me your contribution if you trust me. :)

meanwhile, i just realize i'd better start bucking up and get my school admin and planning work started. if not, i'll really be crushed by the paper mountain. *laughs*

great ideas

i realize i do hv some good ideas pertaining to work... can possible amount to big stuff.. have some contacts....

unfortunately, i also realize i lack the courage and confidence that i can pull those things through. hence, the ideas neva got put to use. i mean, such a BOOBOO person, how wld i noe i wldn't create a booboo if i decide to embark on these bigger things? i oredi booboo on small things i've set out to do... sometimes even if its not my fault, still i dun carry out a good job. of course, partly cos of my incompetency.

sigh. wats the use of having ideas when you cant carry them?

on the brighter side, fieldwork is finally possibly formally introduced into my school. maybe the small lichen research plus some psyching done to my boss did help. we are considering doing proper field stuff for the entire level next year. i'm supposed to conduct a recce and briefing for my colleauges next year too before we set off for this attempt. but whether things will turn out that way, and whether i wldn't mess things up.... we'll see lor...

all over the place...

last thursday, was in arab street w a bunch of colleauges. it was KUEH KUEH GALORE!!! i was so happy eating all the weird kueh kuehs. but alas, ended up with LS....

on sat, went to jb w EC. bought like FOUR pairs of shoes. we took it slow. stuck to only one place. so it wasn't as tiring. ate my ayam kuleg. ha ha ha

tis afternn, went to little india w haz to get my brows threaded and bought TWO BIG skirts. u noe lah, my obsession with big long skirts.

in case anyone thinks i'm very free, i cannot be bothered to explain my case. go think watever you wan, pple who always just happily think that teachers are free in the afternoons, free during exams, free after exams, free for all students' vacations.

Next entry: Two questions tt's tickling my brains.

Talks of earthquakes and tsunamis in Singapore

A group of geographer met up and discussed some updates from researches about the possibility of tsunami hitting Singapore. Much as many think we are safe from tsunami or earthquakes, who can be entirely sure?

The question posed would be, if a tsunami hits Singapore as suggested by a researcher, where would be the safest place in Singapore? While high-rise buildings found all over may be a refuge from the tall waves, the structure of the buildings may not be able to withstand the impacts of the waves, especially if the waves are amplified by the narrow channel along the Straits of Malacca.

The geographers' only choice (not that it was fantastic, but it was the best bet) was Bukit Timah hill. Afterall, its a lump of granite, stronger than the man-made concrete.

So I've resolved to work very very very hard to earn my million bucks to buy a piece of land at Bukit Timah, hmm, make it a piece of landed property just beside Bukit Timah HILL. Of course, I have to train to run up the hill, quick enough too.

the kueh lapis geography teacher

Teacher is an unglamorous job. Exciting things do happen, but nothing hip or glamorous. Sometimes I do look at myself and wonder what happened to me such that I am so unhip, uncool, and unglamorous. Worse when I end up spending more than half my time dealing with admin stuff at the expense of doing what I'm 'paid' or passionate about doing - developing the lives.

Yet, these couple of days, there are small things that reward me.

1. I was entering my lift after work and out came two of the gals I used to teach in MPSS more than two years ago. Immediately, they greeted me!! By the correct surname immediately!! I was like, WOW.

2. I got down the bus couple of nites ago and from the back, someone called me. I turned back to see another students from MPSS. Its not the first time we ended up in the same bus and walked back togehter to our flat. But its nice. He was in Sec 2 then. Now, he will be taking his O levels. We chatted and he told me he wanted to be a tamil language teacher.

3. I had a splitting headache dealing with the GIS project. Sent the gals to collect the data the second time today, only to have to deal with technical problems while they were away. Not the first time I was stuck for hours dealing with this software. Til now, the problem is not resolved. But when I saw how they learnt new things and the amazement on their faces (only to a certain extent lah), I'm glad they were able to learn something useful and applicable to life, out of the curriculum.

4. I just came home from a nite class with the current Sec 4s I taught Geography to last year. I thought they wouldn't ask me questions and would direct their queries to their current Geog teacher. To my surprise, we clicked back to when I left them. Some of them even told me they remembered my kueh lapis analogy in plate tectonics and weathering. I did not use this analogy this year. But really, am surprised it stuck with them. One even said she chose to study plate tectonics (which was one of the most challenging topics in Phy Geog) because of the kueh lapis. lol. Maybe I should use it next year again.
It was so pleasant, the couple of hours which extended later than the time scheduled passed so quickly. I'm like, hey, finally I'm doing TEACHING today! Beyond the filling in of forms, etc. etc. etc. It was comforting to see how they have come so far (urm, but still have more to catch up for their Os). I spend the last portion trying to inspire them with pictures I've taken and showing them the relevance of things happening to what they are studying, beyond the memory of facts from our txtbook author MC.

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm doing the right thing 'playing' with them just to inspire them to learn and experience new things instead of focussing on examination skills. I mean, I do do the latter, but see, I could have spent more time doing that rite? But yet, I cannot bear the thought of not exciting them about the many things in life. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know. Only time will tell.

Sandman

I looked at the coat of sand that has dried and lightly stuck on my feet. This look... reminds me of a person I met when I was little - younger than 6.

We were on the bus on the way to a bungalow for my maternal's family chalet. Somewhere in the north/east of Singapore, we transfered onto an old SBS shuttle bus.

I was sitting near the front of the bus, where there were two rows of seats facing each other. Apparently, the bus was travelling along the beach (I couldn't see the beach, well, by deduction). At a quiet stop, one man board the bus and sat on the row of seats facing me. I looked at him. I was shocked. He looked like some weird person with sand coated like all over him, even on his forehead. He was carrying a crew cut, and some of the sand were like falling off him as and when. Strangely, this strange being was eating a brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread. He looked scary, the Sandman. He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled and offered me his brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread after looking at me (probably?) stare at him. I was frightened and shook my head.

Perspective of sandman has changed as life moves on with new episodes of experiences for me. My guess now, Sandman was probably a teenager or even like army boy who got saboe-ed by his pals with 'mua-chee'. Like any usual being, sandy, he made his way home on public transport while munching on his food. (It was ok to eat on buses previously.) Sandman saw a young (cute?? actually 'gong-looking') girl staring at him and out of goodwill and well soft spots for kids?? offered his food.

Over twenty years has passed. I wonder where Sandman is. I wonder who Sandman is. In a weird sense, as I'm thinking of Sandman when I associated the coat of sand on my feet, there is only ONE Being in this whole wide world who knows the whereabouts of this Sandman. Of course, I'm sure Sandman do not remember this episode.

This episode strangely surfaced from my memory archives during my walk on Siloso beach today with Fel and her friend when we went for the Jazz by the Beach in Sentosa.

His Love Never Fails

Its hard to be 'joyful' when things just seem to go wrong despite the efforts one puts in. Rem the field collection we did on Teachers' Day? The data... was.... gone.... GONE..... A mth ago, brought guitar gals out for performance. Accoustics was bad..... BAD..... Tho my sis was getting married next year, just need to tahan half a year more... but... no.. the plan was different..... DIFFERENT..... Teachers' Day supposed to be the time u noe whether u hv made impact in kids' lives rite? but... it seems i haven't.... haveN"T....

And I'm supposed to say God is good. I mean, I'm His mouthpiece etc. right? And He will bless me so I can be a blessing rite?

It has been a tough couple of months. I hv been struggling to be a 'victorious' christian trusting Him. Yeah, I mean, of course I trust Him. After all, wat can go so wrong in the perspective of eternity?

Many things I desire, which are good,which are theoretically 'pleasing' in His sight. But yet... it wasn't enuff.

After the most recent episode of the disappearing data, honestly, I dunno wat He is up to. Hving to break the news to my boss, and worse, to the kids who went under the hot sun w me... was .....

Then, when i went for CG (after months, and i almost din make it again cos of the terrible episode), God revealed to me that... these things happened so I know how much He loves me and His love will neva fail me. How? I dunno. But I know and am reminded that indeed, all that I need is His unfailing love.

In any case, so amazingly, my gals took it very positivel when i broke the news to them. In fact, even tho i gave them the option of taking another teams' data (outside our vicinity) to work with, they chose to collect the data all over again, unanimously. I learnt grace. I learnt how sometimes, we just need to be more positive and b so hard on ourselves. But, i was really really encouraged, meaning, i shld get them something nice to affirm th em ey? *laughs*

His love neva fails... .... ...

10 Ways to avoid becoming a missionary

1. Ignore Jesus' request in John 4:35
that we take a long hard look at the fields. Seeing the needs of people can be depressing and very unsettling. It could lead to genuine missionary concern.(John 4:35 "Do you not say, `Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest."

2. Focus all your energies on socially legitimate targets.
Go after a bigger salary. Make your primary focus a job promotion, a bigger home, a more luxurious car, or future financial security. Along the way, run up some big credit card debts.

3. Get married to somebody who thinks the "Great Commission" is what your employer gives you after you make a big sale.
After marriage, plunge into the socially accepted norm of settling down, establishing a career and raising a family.

4. Stay away from missionaries.
Their testimonies can be disturbing. The situations they describe will distract you from embracing whole-heartedly the materialistic lifestyle of your home country.

5. If you happen to think about missions, restrict your attention to countries where it's impossible to openly do missionary work.
Think only about North Korea, Saudi Arabia, China and other closed countries. Forget the vast areas of our globe open to missionaries. Never, never listen to talk about creative access countries.

6. Think how bad a missionary you would be based on your own past failures.
It is unreasonable to expect you will ever be any better. Don't even think about Moses , David, Jonah, Peter or Mark, all of whom overcame failures.

7. Always imagine missionaries as talented, super-spiritual people who stand on lofty pedestals.
Maintaining this image of missionaries will heighten your own sense of inadequacy. Thinking that God does not use ordinary people as missionaries will smother any guilt you may feel about refusing to even listen for a call from God.

8. Agree with the people who tell you that you are indispensable where you are.
Listen when they tell you that your local church or home country can't do without you.

9. Worry incessantly about money.

10. If you still feel you must go, go out right away without any preparation or training. You'll soon be home again and no one can ever blame you for not trying!

adventure@hantu

0810 Arrived at RSYC by cab.

0830 Met the rest and we all split into 2 grps for 2 sites.

0930 At hantu reef. Saw a OWD course going on. And all joked how there would be no fish to record today cos all the fish will be frightened away.

1000+ Tape-layers descended, followed by fish 15 mins later. Inverts (my buddy n i) supposed to follow 15 mins later, but buddy did not hv mask, so hv to wait for tape-layers to surface to lend her mask. But ended up, we din get to dive at the beginning because.......

A CONVECTION RAIN CAME!!!
Geography lesson: Prior to rain, VERY STRONG drafts of wind. Rain is of high intensity (ouch) and short duration lasting between 1 - 2 hours.

What happened for us was very strong surface (and reported in the shallow waters we were dealing with as well) currents. Our little boat started to shift closer and closer to the breakwaters and we were abt to hit it. had to drag one fish-gal who lost her buddy out so the boatman can start the engine to move the boat before we hit the breakwaters. I saw with my own eyes a tree from the island break its trunk and fell into the sea. Anywayz, a huge HUGE barge was also drifting towards us and the boatman wanted us to get the rest out of water (LIKE WE CAN CONTACT THEM?!?) because it would be dangerous for them if the barge did drift any closer. Cant raff the engine to signal to them cos we need it to keep us away from the breakwater, so i resorted to the second (not too effective, in fact, not effective, just try lah) method of recalling the pple. Knocking metal to the ladder. Anywayz, it was rocky, painful (attack from the raindrops). F9inally, we got all of them up. I got totally wet, my wet suit's first saturation is rain water and not sea water. And ha, the rain subsided after quite a while, but within the 1 - 2 hours time frame. Next qns: to abort or not abort survey? Decision: Not.

1300+ I was cold n shivering even before i was in water. ANywayz, lost buddy once. Overweight. Too small BC. My BC cant inflate. @#$#&*(@ A pair of divers reeled up the first transect making my buddy n i lost for a while. Vis wasn't too bad for hantu. ave about 1.5m. Of course, when silt is stirred up, vis is 0.00m. Not bad lah.

1430 Finished survey. Got up. Had lunch. Served up brownie and fruits. lol. Waiting for bentic to surface.

1545 Left site. But we were heading further from mainland. reason: boatman went further to chekc on another boat which was grounded (hit coral). It was tilting pretty badly. Poor boatman gotta wait till high tide. And worse, a TANKER got grounded too. Many bigger boats (than ours) were like trying to drag it or something like tat.

1630 Arrived back at RSYC. Unpacked. Showered. Came home.

Wash gear Wash gear Wash gear.

Its a long entry. I noe its boring. But hey, now i can print this and stick it in my log book! dun hv to write again. lol

Meanwhile, marking starts tom. So will prob MIA for a while.

TiS d sEaSoN 2 b mArKiNg fA La lA La lA La lA La la.....

HA HA HA

i spent a bomb today.

bought a wet suit, a dress watch and a sports watch all in a day!

wet suit - black w some red trimmings here and there. its a cool wet suit. pity i become a mish mash mismatch of colors with my so-far blue and yellow combi of fins, mask, etc. No choice. I need my wet suit by tom, and its really nicely priced and the cut is nice. oh well, consolation: whichever buddy i hv will recognize me from a hundred other divers in the water.

dress watch - bought a dkny watch. crazy to spend the bomb. but tink its time i invest in a proper watch.

sports watch - always wanted one which has stopwatch function so i dun hv to rely on my ipod or mobile to check how much time i took to complete my run.

in case u tink i'm anyhow spending my money, tt's not true. my 'last' watch died on me during the week. i had to borrow a watch from a colleague for the rest of the week because i hv no time to get a watch. pathetic rite? from someone who use to wear watches as her accessory. oh well. now i dun hv to anymore. 2 is enuff. of course i wldn't mind the cheaper cute ones too still. ;)

Timing - Who decides the very moment the first drop of rain falls in a storm?

I got to leave school early this afternoon. The sky was dark and had been threatening to rain since late morning. Being the Geog teacher, I had been 'analyzing' and trying to guess when rain will fall - predicting it to be in the afternoon, definitely today.

As I was leaving the school, was thinking whether or not to bring the BIG umbrella. By 'calculation', based on the way the clouds look, they'd hold a while more. I was probably gonna reach home JUST before the rain pours or the rain would fall just MIN(s) before I reach home. To bring or not to bring. Decision: Not.

On the bus, still pretty sunny, with the dark clouds looming nonetheless. When I was within 1 km from my place (but still 'circling' around my neighborhood cos of the bus route), it was like... quick quick bussie, anytime will rain. Strangely, the bus keeps hitting the red lights (which I know would 'jeopardize' my hope in reaching my flat dry).

"Trapped" in the bus, I was thinking, WHO really decides on the VERY MINUTE the first drop of rain, then the second, and the third, then the downpour to fall? - Esp in times when we are at the 'critical threhold' where either you just make it dry, or end up very drenched, just affected by those very minutes - traffic lights / passengers alighting/boarding.

So many rains a day in so many places. WHO presses the 'fall' button? The world may boast its technological advances to precision in timing in setting off fireworks during countdowns / celebrations, in sending the murderous H-bomb that kill in 000s, all at the touch of a button. But who can control the very thing that affects our lives daily? Not us, even with our 'fantastic' technology. The world may boast its technological advances in modifying the very element I'm talking about - rain, through seeding. But we can only modifying, subjected to natural limitations such as humidity and pressure. We can't just shift it to any place we want it to fall.

Its just amazing how despite our 'achievements', the simple rain that falls each time can remind us of how great our Creator Abba is. He is the One who decides on each small storm's beginning and end. I'm not even talking about huge storms that have been grabbing headlines lately.

Why am I even blogging about this? No, bong, its not cause I think too much. I thot I was a little cuckoo to read so much into it earlier. But in evening, human fears strike again. I worry about my future. I linger through memories of decisions made, some of which I 'regret' in my human nature but yet have to trust God that that is what pleases Him. Then I realize, I'm not thinking too much. "I hold everything in place. I am in control of every single timing." That's what He's saying.

I pray, that I will trust my faithful Father.

If anyone is still interested if I'm caught in the rain? I was ONE minute behind. So was caught in a moderately heavy rain. But one minute after I stepped into my flat buidling, the moment I stepped out of the lift, it was raining very heavily. Kindof in between ey? ;)

Where will you be in December?

I was so happy that I've found someone to go with me to India!!! YES!!! can you believe it?

But now, our plans might shift. What's the plan? Need to work it out first. But its a hard decision to make. Stay tuned.

Oh yeah, but where will YOU be in December? At least, where do you think you will be? Then I can plot our where my pals will be on the map. :D

nursing

spending my weekend just resting

spent most of yest afternn in bed cos wasn't feeling well. EC managed to get me out for some fresh air. but she said i looked like crap. well, i felt like crap. like 50 year old woman. lol. thnx for being patient when i'm so full of crap yest. lol

today, getting out of house to church was a challenge again. impending flu coming up. but told myself must go to church. den end up? CM sunday. Honestly, when i see the kids, and worse, the parents, they really frighten me!! oops. :P

hopefully tom will feel better. haiz..... la la la la.... i'm bored.... feeling old... lol

bandaged...

since i'm on the topic of footwear, here's my 'injuired' shoe while i was in kunming. (yeah, all my footwear gave way there) and its final resting plce was in a 3-star hotel in Kunming city, together with my faithful sandals. They have served me well.



Oh yeah, and tt's wat is good abt taking first aid course and a first aid pouch w u wherever u go. LOL

Before & After...

First one taken in Ang Snoul, Cambodia, en route to river near the orphanage w kids in June 2004. Second one taken in Xundian, Kunming, China, on the last visit to the Pri school when we bid them farewell, June 2005. Left it behind in China, never to see it thereafter. Dun ask me y i take pics of my sandals (esp the first pic). I dunno. lol

Its been more than a week since i last blogged. where hv i been? wat hv i done? still in singapore (duh) and largely busy with work (reads: setting of examination papers).

since d last entry, most of my time had been spent setting the papers, day and nite, in and out of school. Finally submitted them. Den was busy with meetings. Only til Friday evening was i finally and suddenly free from it all - at least for this weekend.

so friday nite, went to new frens' plce to chill. there was a gathering of 2 swiss, 1 german, 1 'half-malay;half-chinese;half-indonesian;half-singaporean' (or so she claims, but tt totals up to 2 rite? :P), and 7 other singaporeans (pure? how i noe?). it was supposedly a pasta dinner. but turned out to be more a 'suppertime' drinks cum food prepared by our swiss pals and local delights bought by us. A bizarre mix of mooncakes (traditional pastry type, colored skin type, walnut type), alcohol (tequila, vodka, jap rice wine only found in okinawa they claim, cheap thai whisky), pasta (with three types of sauces); otah, choc cake, fried champedak, ... .... .... i almost cldn't make it for this gathering cos was exhausted from week. but was gald i made it. sitting round the table with nice breeze, great food and good company... was great.

saturday was largely... sleep.... mooncake... sleep... toast.... sleep... was catching up on lack of sleep from fri's late rendevous and from the week in general. in total, my waking hours was like abt 9??? lol. so was too stoned to do anything or meet anyone.

so today, not so stoned anymore. but despite the sleep last nite, still sleepy. must be the weather. in fact, i was caught dozing off standing while waiting for AO to pass me something. playing for service wasn't too fantastic cos i was too stoned to b alert (glad i was on piano and not KB). so was sermon time. so is it now. must b the weather. oh. did i oreid type that? lol. i'm going to sleep again now... nites....

btw, eyes recovering fine. eyes still adjusting to fine prints. dry sometimes, but very managable. best part, no need to take out lenses or wash (i hardly do tt anyway :P) after long day out. like can just shower and sink into bed. :D speaking of bed..... ..... .....

goodbye specky... ...

Specs.... they have been with me for close to 2 decades. Started with a pink plastic frame, then a smaller maroon one, den another pink one which in Sec sch they thot it was too 'hip' and wanted me to change new specs during spotcheck?!?! den i moved on into metal frames. black. gold. silver. blue. den it was back to my current 'hip' blue specky u either love or hate.

tis week, i hv ditched specs by undergoing lasik. mon was a breeze. eye just took a longer time to adjust and stabilize. for today for the second eye however, i realized i had taken the first one's blessedness for granted. it was like there waws something gritty stuck in my eye ALL DAY LONG and i ws tearing like no ppl's business. P says tt's cos everyone knew abt my mon procedure and prayed for it but for todays, no one was informed so they din pray. lol. still, thanks mom, dad, mommy, P, KN, SR, AO and all others who prayed for muaz. It was a comfort knowing that i'm covered not only by the love of Daddy but also of you pple.

Anywayz, how was the procedure like? Well, just not something i'd like to go through again. Mon's was smoother than today's. In fact, procedure was delayed today due to some unforeseen backlog. So ended up having to bring my mom out of the center for lunch (with a dilated pupil!! that was crazy!) Just din feel that good during the procedure itself and after tt. Discomfort all the way in the afternn into the evening. Decided to go down for worship prac tonite, just to play flute. Strangely, after i left my place, the eye slowly got better. and its realy pretty decent comfort wise now. God works ey?

anywayz, vision is still blur. will take time to stabilize. and only after this den did i realize that my left eye's degree is almost DOUBLE that of my right eye's. no wonder i get so disoriented when i dun hv my specky. whichever the case... i've ditched my specky for now. For how long? I dunno. Maybe until age catches up.. that ... is another story for another time.

sunrise or sunset?

Imaged uploaded is a sunrise during the reefwalk weeks ago. Rare to catch a nice sunrise. Sunsets usually work better. A gal gave me a card for Teachers' Day asking 'do u see a sunrise or sunset?' I like sunsets more. But i tink i shld see more sunrise? lol

Wats been up:

1. SCALP BURN!!!

2. Teachers' Day was so-so. Sad tt despite all the hard work into my CCA, my efforts were not appreciated.

3. Spent Teachers' Day bringing kids out to log data. Hot hot hot.

4. Kids out for performance at CS today. It was.... sigh... disappointing due to poor acoustics. Gals cant be heard. They were good, but cant be heard and cant hear each other so cldn't play as a group. Now, they feel lousy. SIGH.

5. Lasik is coming up on Mon. Had been specky these few days. Still dun hv mom's support. But i'm going ahead.

6. Currently its really just sigh. The only good news :) is my dear EC can go and take her OWD oredi!!! After one long year gal! So happy for u. Lets hit the water tog. For u, i'll go down the water once more tis yr. :)

simple prayer answered

the sky is still holding! despite how according to 'nature', there was no rain. we completed our data collation. Just over 200 trees recorded. I'm so dying... lol...

My Daddy heard my prayer! Thank You Dad!

Rain rain go away

Dear Daddy

My gals and I are going to collect field data using the GPS system tomorrow. We have no other slots to do it.

The weather forecast says its likely to rain in the east and partial cloudy in the central. I dunno if we are considered east or central. There are no sight of stars tonite (clouds).

Dear Daddy, please blow the clouds away and hold the rain til after 2pm. I can only ask this of You and no one else.

A simple little prayer of someone learning to pray with simple faith.

In Jesus name Amen

hitting the lows after the high

It was an interesting dive trip. Was away for the Project AWARE - Reef Check survey over the weekend. Even before I left the country excited things oredi happened.

Pre-trip:
Divers to meet at 7pm. But the school function started at 7pm. So I was expected to be late. JK was aware tt I'll leave sch at 8.10pm and fly to his dive shop. But there was a change of plan....

When I got up the cab and gave him the directions, the cab driver was SO BLUR. So I attempted to call JK to get even more detailed directions.

JK: Where are you?
ST: In a cab
JK: Where exactly?
ST: SG area
JK: Get down the cab
ST: huh?!?
JK: We're going to your school to pick you.
ST: ?!? Where are you now?
JK: Outside your sch. Where exactly are you? Stop wherever you are.
ST: Near the stadium........ .... more exchanges on location .... .... mess... ....
ST: I din noe you were coming
JK: I tried to call you. But you did not pick up.
ST: I was in a service cant pick up.
JK: You shldn't even hv .... aiya, watever.
ST: Anyway, my mobile din even register your call.
JK: No reception den. Are you at the ... .... I'm at the ... ...
ST: I dun see the van/
JK: We are in a car.
ST: black color car? I'm behind the car's junction...
..... ..... ST ran to the car 100m away in her pants and heels...

In the car... after the brief greeting formalities...
ST: Did you bring my stuff?
JK: Yeah.
ST turned back and saw her gear bag.
ST: Did you bring my red haversack?
JK: @#$^&*@ JK called a couple of ppl... confirmed ST's haversack was in shop. JK instructed JL to drive back to shop....

Throughout the trip:
Company wasn't fantastic. Pple pretty exclusive. Cos the pple oredi knew each other from their YEP trip or were from the shop, my buddy and i mostly talked to each other, ate aside from others, or i just walked by the beach myself. (They were not terribly exclusive.) But its ok. I understd and am not upset. Enjoyed the quiet moments anywayz. :) I"m hear for the dive, to try out something new, and tt's enough. GOod company is a bonus.

Dives:
Different from the usual. INstead of moving ard, movementw as very restricted. There was a lot of focus on the demarcated area. So the scope of visual was limited, but intense. Never had I scrutinized rocks or corals that closely. Did fish and bentic survey. Fish survey was boring... and cold... Bentic was challenging but more fun, especially the snapping and reeling back of tapes and pegs. Was having fun with my new accessories - slate, rattler/shaker cum pointer, and my black gloves. Love the gloves. lol.

I did not participate in the nite dive. first time i said no to a dive. primary reason - i was tired and not feeling too good - bad state to dive. secondary reasons - the company wasn't good to dive w, and of course, JK made it clear tt he did not really welcome non-staff to dive, but asked out of courtesy?!?!

Only leisure dive on Sunday morn was like.... sososososo... y? cos i got a fairly new DMT. He's a nice chap. But still fairly inexperienced. I'm not extremely good in directions,but thot the route he took was weird. My buddy (who's a freelance instructor confirmed my view, tho she said she kept quiet out of respect for the dive leader) Anywayz, he took us across loads of currents. Most of the time I just stayed real low to reduce the influence of the currents and at times while waiting for him to figure out exactly where we are heading i just find a rock or depression to hid in from the currents (learnt from previous trips. lol). I tink i spotted more interesting stuff than he did!

Final dive was a cleanup dive. It was the battle between the genders of who's gonna pick up more crap from the sea. And guess wat? We won hands down. We managed TWO FULL mesh bags of crap including fishing nets, lines, plastic bag, satay stick, glove, .... as well as an ANCHOR!!!. The boys? A mesh bag hardly full. lol. It was fun lookng for crap and manuevering abt to pick them up esp with some requiring some untangling from the reefs etc.

All in all, this was a VERY DIFFERENT trip from all the previous. It wasn't 'fun'. Different company. Different perspective under water. But I appreciated it just as much. Meanwhile, feeling very sian from the low after the high nitrox.... lol.... BLEAH.

Fast updates

Today went with the kids from COSI to the zoo... in heels... with my makeup... in black... See, i did not expect to join them. but got roped in last minute after playing for church service. at the zoo, we were stuck in the rain for an hour. my heels were soaked. i was exhasuted. but spent good time, esp with Sophuan, the girl i met during my last trip jun last year. some rude youths from church were present, but mostly i ignored them. other than that... it was great with the kids. they got excited over the rain and the (i dunno wat name) fruit that dropped onto the ground more than over the animals. i bet they've seen more than we did. and yes, i saw my cousins, the giraffe. and giraffe comes from the phrase 'very fast moving camel and leopard'. go figure.

will be super busy next week. many events. most exciting one: my training for a conservation dive next weekend. mon, tues and thurs nite i will be away for 3 hours each for the training. this is on top of my other school meetings and trainings which ends at 6pm on mon and thurs. my epms is due next mon. fri will be rushing from place to place... bringing kids to nus, den rush to a school function (grrr...) den RUSH for my dive trip. (supposed to report at 7.30pm, but sch only releasing me at 8.10, meaning the whole world - just the dive grp wld be waiting for me). so, i'm pretty dead next week. and the following. sometimes i really feel like drawying out of this trip, like frees up 3 nights, and entire weekend. hey, but told myself not to feel, JUST DO IT. bcos tt's wat i really wanna do.

ok. not too fast update done.

Rattana

Five years ago, I met her in my 3-mth stint in Cambodia. She was the daughter of Laundy. They were staying with us in my aparrment to take care of an infant.

Rattana, was a dark, 5-year old. Thin. Long limbs. Pretty curls. Big eyes. She was smart. What makes my heart each time was when she broke into her sweet smile and chuckle.

She would come into my room in the day. Sit beside me by the table while I prepare for the English classes. She would draw using the paper and pencil provided for her. Sometimes house, sometimes cat. I have a cat in my journal drawn by her on one of the occasions. My table always had some snacks, one of it was preserved fruits (long and squiggly type). I would feed her with those and each time we both put those into our mouths, we would cringe together. But the practice continued. She was a curious lad everready to learn new English words. I was folding away my laundry, and she would ask me what they were in English - skirt, shorts, shirt. We played lanterns during Mid-Autumn festival.

Two years later, I saw her in COSI. As usual, I carried her and piggy-backed her.. But she got heavier. One afternoon, while we were at the playground, she was sitting on my lap on a swing. Her dark palms on mine. And I thought to myself, one day, she will outgrow me. Her hands will grow bigger, she can't sit on my lap anymore.

Two days ago, I saw her in my church sanctuary. She was tall - at my chest. She's 12. Her hair was less wavy. But still the same sweet smile. She brightened my tough day.

That night, the memories came back so fresh to me. The smell of the dust in the evening air outside the MC in Cambodia, the touch of the dark hardwood study table I use each day in my room, my currently 5 years old notebook, the smell of the soaps I used, the golden sunsets, the feel of the tiled floors of the office on barefoot, the babies, the dusty sanctuary. That night, I remembered Cambodia the way I have not for a long long time.

I will be meeting her soon today with CP and OL. For her, I will make time. :)

Five dollars movie ticket... Is it for real?

Yeah it is! I watched it today. But spent another 5 on cab, thereby, making the price of watching the show equivalent to watching it elsewhere during weekends. lol

Where was it? PRINCESS at bedok! sounds dodgey? Its pretty decent actually. The tickets are printed using dot matrix printer... popcorns sold there cost SGD1.50, packed in the plastic containers u use to pack ur ice kachang and ice jelly.

cinema theatre itself gave me a feeling i've neva felt in a long time. Its not new, not as much cushion, but sufficiently comfortable. Best part, it wasn't full, less than 10 pple... and we bought our tix at 1515 hours, when the show was scheduled to start at 1515hrs... and it DID start by 1520 hours, cos... i dun rem seeing ANY commercials! nope. no farnie smell... farnie stains.. it was really decent.

The show was... hilarious... thoroughly enjoyed it. Given today's almost-real-life graphics, when the scene openned, i really forgot and thot it was an animation film. ONly to be reminded after the boy appeared that.. no, its not (even if computer graphics were applied). The way they put the makeup of the kids... Johny Depp, the bright colors... really made them look like animation many times. The line between the 'real' and the 'graphics' are is fine here, its different from the other films such as Star Wars or Titanic, etc... cos... the effect really adds and enhances the fantasy feeling. Brilliant.

I loved the little men, or was it man? same face, different roles. lol. i really wonder who that man is in real life, and how they even chose him for this role(s). Imagine urself holding that role, .... , .....

Anyways, the sound of the crunch each time a kid bites into the chocolate makes my knees go soft.... so i'm back to crunching chocs. managed to kick tt (therapuetic) habit for at abt 3 days.... but... after the show.. succumbbed back to the dark side......

in short, i loved the movie. its was more than the 'fun'. it was the fantasy-like journey u're brought into... and heartwarming bits abt family.. but humbug that. *laughs*

Anyhow, tix on weekdays cost SGD5 and on weekends SGD7.50. For the price, its really comparative to cineleisure where i watched bewitched last weekend. less cushee on the armrest. but like the one at cineleisure, no headrest. but cheaper. u take ur pick.

mind your own business

i was on my way back from the celebrations on the bus last nite. just as i was abt to get down from the 2nd deck of the bus to alight, i saw a 2-dollar note on the chair on the adjacent row behind me.

I thot for a moment and recalled a 50+ yr old man sitting there. He just got down a little before me, but was alighting at the same stop as me. I thot to myself, shld I bring the 2 bucks down for him? Well, its only 2 bucks. I dun wanna talk to anyone i dunno. Its only 2 bucks. No big deal.

*took two steps down the flight of stairs*

Thot again. Wow, in my mom's days, they would immediately rush down with the money and go 'hey you left your money behind'. Is this wat our system has taught us? To be 'tolerant' to the point of 'mind your own business - no matter wat?' Sad, but to some extent true.

*backtracked, picked up the purple note and went down the stairs*

"urm... you left this behind on the seat". Not a single word of thanks, we both alighted.

What is this society becoming?

You noe you are hooked on Bejeweled when

you look at your fren's face, and u want to arrange her nose upwards to be in line with her two eyes... ...

damn the sound effects. :P

Of Memories...

2. Fireworks

At 0000hr tis morn, while I was still working on my computer, i heard the sounds of fireworks booming away. But no, i cant see the fireworks. Why? typical high rised buildings.

20 years ago, when I was still in Pri sch, we would be able see most of the fireworks, at least half of the top of the fireworks from my living room when we look out into the corridor. The biggest and highest fireworks, yes, we can catch the full sight. If we really wanted to, we would go up to the 10th storey (i stay on the 9th) and catch the lights in its splendor.

Now, I can only hear the fireworks. I can't see the 'culprit' high rise, but am pretty sure they are the ones who are blocking me from it.

In any case, the mood of National Day is really here. Why? Early last morning, I have to lead in community singing... and rouse the girls to a 'high' singing... thereafter, brought some kids to practise community drumming. That was a torture. I ended up with a swollen head ready to explode from all the noise (bad accoustics that trap the sounds of drums of kids which were so not syncronised for at least 5 hours) and a pretty deaf pair of ears. By the time we got back to school, it was 9pm (spent 15 hours working), and I was totally exhasuted with the 'prep' for National Day. How can I not feel the mood? *laughs*

Of Memories...

1. Drinks during Chinese New Year

As far as I remembered, as a young kid 20 years ago, it was the glass-bottled F & N orange soft drinks. The bottle was unlike even the old glass bottled soft drinks in the other SEA countries we are familiar with. It had a straight narrow 'neck' and a straight wider 'body'.

A couple of years later, other colored soft drinks came into the picture. There were the colorful (red, green, orange, purple) FANTA (the red and green gone now), caffenited soft drinks (huge war between SARSI, PEPSI, COKE den, of which SARSI seemed to have vanished and I just realize today I cant find Pepsi original anymore), SPRITE, 7-Up.

Soon, the generation prefered 'healthier', 'non-carbonated' versions of drinks. In came the lemon tea (mostly Yeos, if I remember correctly). Today, many other teas entered the market... Green tea, green tea with jasmine, white tea (the latest, so haven't had that during chinese new year yet).

I wonder what's next. But one thing that seems to have survived all these 20 years, despite all the new drinks that have emerged (essentially simply water and sugar), the orange soft drink has remained.

I miss the old days.

Dear Abba

You said that my purpose here on earth is to glorify You - to be perfected into the image of Jesus Christ through worship, the offering of my life as a living sacrifice. The rest comes secondary to this divine purpose.

To be perfected into the image of Christ - love You commanded. The incomprehensiveness of the depth of the meaning of love. Love thy neighbors. Love thy enemies. Love them unconditionally. Above all, love You will all my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength, my will.

How to love You when all I'm doing is just holding on to the faith and the hope You have sowed in me ages ago? My Father, songs and words alone do You no justice. What is it I need to know You? To hear You?

Some say, our purpose is to be ready for heaven, meanwhile enjoy and to live happy as well. What is the definition of enjoy and to live happy?

What does it mean when it is said that I should seek You as a jewel? How do the rest of the other things - work, upgrading - come into the picture? How do they add up to Your big plan?

Abba, I wish I can hear You more clearly in this noise. I wish I can understand Your love more. I wish I could long for You and Your return more. I wish I can have a better idea of what is going on. Can I?

Your wondering child

black tie event

went for the black tie event.

God was good. y? i was so gonna be late cos i cldn't get cab for like half an hour. no point panicking, told myself. only prayed quietly for a cab. but still no cab. but there was a reason for that! see, wheni arrived at the function room, i just BUMPED straight into one of the other volunteer i noe. see, i dunno a lot of pple there. so its a GREAT thing to bump into her. and we stuck to each other. if i had a cab and reached on time (according to the invite) i'll be all by myself. speaking of His timing.

anywayz, guess wat?!?!? i've got like Song from song & kelly sitting with us at our table!!! plus a power 98 DJ. (i dunno who she is, cos tt's not my station). plus a yoga guru from India, and a couple who set up their own business in event management. COOL ey! i mean, here's an unglam teacher, with 'glam' pple like Song. He's decent to talk to. nice chap who was trying not to be bored. *laughs* all in all, it was a nice dinner, having acquainted with new pple like that.

i need to learn how to do nite makeup man. my usual makeup tricks are not enuff to get by more 'glam' nites. anyone expert? *laughs*

happy

brought my guitar gals to do community performance. language barrier... difficult for the kids. but i was pleaslantly surprised to hear from some tt they found the experience fruitful nonetheless. really happy.

tis yr's been gd. i get to get my dreams come true. brought kids overseas for community service and now my guit gals.

am looking at an end-aug dive trip tt has some conservational stuff invovled (if not, i'm getting pretty bored w the site). but... really depedns if i get the leave. *fingers-crossed* suuposed to hv some methodist trs gathering tt evening. hope they forget abt it and just sign my leave form.:P

am extremelt exhsausted. had been rushing from place to place... with kids.. or for church since yest morn. collapsing anymoremtn now. just thot i shld blog tt good stuff tt happened to my kids tis afternn. memorabile wat.

OHOH and i just got infvited for a black-tie eevent tom nite!! HOW HOW? i forgot how to dress up proeproly after all these ' i'm darn too tired to care abt how i look'. *panicks*

she aint my sis

just an alien from goodness noes wat planet. (at least i neva call her monster)

Today... ... ...

I got up at 4 plus am to reach sentosa to go to kusu for the reefwalk w TS & EC. It was a nice slow walk on the reeftop. Muddy. Saw interesting stuff, some i see in the sea. tho d colors cant match when i'm in the sea, its still beautiful. except the sun really zapped out the energy. not feeling well lately anywayz.

hung ard and got home in late afternn. tired and snoozed alittle. got up n watched the making of the island (wanna watch tt show!!) and starwars finally!

feeling alittle blue. maybe cos been tired physically. most prob cos i hvn't really been reading the word or praying.

getting tired of drifting ard. tis world is not my home, i'm just a passerby. how impt it is to rem tt thot. but being plugged into this world so real, with all the expectations from pple in all aspects... ... how easy it is to lose sight of the even more REAL, which, doesn't seem so obvious or clear now.

Is tis wat life is abt? Finding the REAL in the midst of the surrounding mounting pressures?

They say its all abt Jesus. Its just abt Jesus. Is it so simple to just focus on Him? How real is Jesus? I'm putting my faith in His name. But tt aint sufficient. Just aint sufficient. So wat? So how? .... .... ....

How real is Jesus to u?

Five years ago

25 July 2000, Tuesday, 0846hr
Day 43 in Cambodia

At LD's place having breakfast now. As usual, in the past 6 days, many things happened. I can cycle! At least balance, but still can't turn. :(

.... ... ... ...

Yest while we were going out for dinner with the field director, etc (whoever), supposed to wait for Js. Where we were supposed to wait for them, there were police doing inspection, along the road, doing body search, holding rifles. It was a little scary waiting there. Actually not scary, but you will feel concerned. Was praying half the time for safety...

In the meantime, saw a mother squatting by the side of a photo shop, with her baby asleep on the floor. I was commenting to AR abt d guy, in front of us who was munching on a 'nom-pang' (bread)that its prob his dinner, and how blessed we are. He was saying tong2 ren2 bu4 tong2 ming4. Which was absolutely true. Wat's d only diff? The diff is where you are born in. There are so many more out there. Am I just going to settle for wat i have while many others are out there suffering? What if Jesus had decided to stay in His own glorious heaven and not come down as a lowly baby?

Then practical thots come along. THots abt yah, spend a few yrs in d mission field, then wat? COmpetition in Spore wld have made me'obsolete'. Maybe work a few yrs, gather some experience as a safety net? Actually, in the first place, I have made education my safety net already. How many safety nets do I need? Isn't the Lord more than sufficient? ...
...

Yi-hee. yest AR & Vim/CO were saying they'll give me an "A" for my khmer considering d fact I was here for only 1 mth plus & without a teacher. But I know it is of an d from the Lord, with all the prayers. If not, dun tink i can move so quickly. :) Can get a little scary sometimes when emailing or wirting stuff, will tink of typing/writing d khmer words.

Sok Mean gave me a little heart which says Just for You on Sunday. So cute & so sweet. :) Chaya passed me foto we took tog. so nice of him to rem. Can still rem how he wanted the nice bkgrd behind us, then pose, then no negative!! hee hee. Received a little from .... yest. Very interesting letter. Shall end here. Tired already. :)

0916hr

going thro the motions....

been v tired over d week. so how i lived was just going thro the motions... moving from point a to b, going thro some usual motions, den from b to c.... while going thro these motions, some of the things which happened:

1. realization tt national day hol (for two days) are ruined. last min informed tt pple like me hv to accompnay kids to some 'do your community some good' performance over the national day eve and the PH itself. like FULL day stuff tt ends at nite. consolation, at least my kids were quite enthusiatic abt tt stuff... so its like more worthwhile burning the two days. just irritated abt the 'seemingly-efficient' 'high and mighty ones' who can only arrow and deprive their bonded slaves of their rest so LAST MINUTE.

2. surprised tt despite being tired and running thro the motions, i'm able to during a class itself come up w something fun for kids (cos they really look like they need to be kept them alive and awake). the method itself i thot was effective and fun in teaching the drawing of diagrams. so... wow. not going thro the motions afterall - during that session.

3. my PE boss told me she's excited abt speaking to my P abt introducing diving as an enrichment so we might have something interesting to get into media. and could be pushing for like overseas trip - more than wat i had been asking for - just a discovery session. but alas... P's been too busy to speak to her, and this boss is leavig soon..

4a. juz witnessed an old pal's wedding today. happy for him. :) at the same time, met up w some old jc frens. was feeling anti-social at first. later, circumstance forced me to open up and engage in some small talk for a while. all was good.

4b. cannot stand wat the pastor was speaking during the exhortation. being insensitive, and i tink biblically unsound, he said... pple 'pi4 xu1' (MUST/NEED TO) find a second half, pple 'pi4 xu1' leave parents and start a new family... com'on. its good for that to happen and i truly believe that. but doesn't mean if that doesn't happen it makes anyone incomplete. Apostle Paul spoke abt how if u dun hv the 'need/urge' to engage in this sortof commitment, den its better u stay that way to serve GOd better. everytime he went into the 'pi4 xu1' i just turned to my fren and gave her the... 'i'm so walking out of here' expression and we laughed. lol.
also... wat kind of analogy is 'marriage is like coffee. when u order coffee from coffee shop, u dun tell the person i wan coffee with sugar and milk. it comes with it. marriage of two persons is like the 'coffee with sugar and milk.. they are integrated together.'...... ...... ....... ...... lol

5. finally got my hands on starwars!!! AH HA HA HA. am gonna watch that soon. :)

6. another boo boo happened. but i cannot be bothered to expound on it.

7. brought gals sailing. a little disappointed i cldn't join them for the 7-session course cos of another project in aug. but had a really good time interacting with them during the process.

8. had a terrible dream tt kept me tired. i dreamt i was working til like 4am. and i was like... oh no have to get up at 5am, must try to work faster so i can sleep. and i finished my work at 4.45am. only 15 mins to sleep before getting up for school. it was then i woke up. as in really wake up. but the feeling is... i hvn't slept a wink, because the dream was so real. humbug.

meanwhile, i'm gonna go snooze n go for jazz by the beach tonite. FINALLY! :) still going thro the motions a bit...

caffienated giraffe

did not sleep last nite. because stupid me drank lodsa coke. bought 1.5l of coke on sat to satisfy my craving on fri nite. drank and darnk yest happily at nite, forgetting that... it... has.. loads... of... caffiene.

frustrating day. handling 'very-concerned' parent who doesn't consider the bigger picture, brining the matter up to my P and VP. so wasted time handling something which, cld be settled in a much shorter time if she had called me direct instead.

racial harmony day celebration in sch today. so i wore my sarong kebaya. FINALLY. so i've donned punjabi, cheongsam, sari, and sarong kebaya oredi. just finding a chance to wear my vietnamese ao yai i tailor made 5 years ago before i become too fat for it. (its tailormade see..)

and i just BOOed again. got the date i'm sending my gals to do community performance wrong. like i kept thinking i told the lady its 28th, but she was expecting us on 21st. @#$#&*(@ yeah. tink i've just created a new verb in vocabulary for pple like me. BOO - (v) doing something really stupid without knowing until its almost too late, or simply too late. typically an action carried out by scatterbrains.

just wrote a super long letter to starhub expressing my disappointment with the provider. was like irritated but hopeful6 they cld do something abt my situation last tues. was damn pissed off yesterday. called them up today. had a nice chap on d fon, nice, but cant do anything to help my situation. so i just shot a nice long letter to feedback how they will be losing a customer (in two years lah, cos i'm stuck) because of how the situation was dealt with.

tis week is gonna be a long one in whcih i will leave work late everyday. didn't start off rested or prepared for this week. but watever, things are not rosy, but they are not bad. so just live on... anywayz, its just temproal. there are more impt things.

and oh yes J, there's like NO DETAILS. because we only exchanged a couple of smses. and tt's like so enough to turn me super duper off, with the exception that it makes an interesting conversation topic w my pals and we can all laugh at it. u need strange things like that in life. :) and of course, ana felt REALLY BAD about it. *laughs* tt otta teach her a lesson to try to do things like that. *chuckles*

*waiting for bedtime to crash*

always look on the bright siiide of life... *whistle*

spent the ENTIRE day on course on a Saturday.

music course. looking on the bright side of life:
- someone told me someone said tt i'm hot. ah ha ha.
- i was on a super 'winning' streak. one of the activities - bingo. i had like a double bingo! and then, i 'won' a music activity book during a session from a 'lucky draw'. LN cldn't believe his luck, sitting beside me and watching me win all the stuff. *laughs*

well... but missed jazz by the beach. :( after a lot of 'misses' of pple who agreed to go w me, but pulled out like... one a week ago, another one two days ago, another one just today. was too tired to go alone. may try that next week.

meanwhile something REALLY interesting. Ana tried to hook me up like with her fren's son sort of thing. it hilarious. but i agreed to let her for the fun of it (more for HER fun cos she's been bugging me real long). i mean, absolutely NO OBLIGATIONS and no harm done. but this guy.. man he's a weirdo!! like among his first few sms-es were like... "are you a catholic?"; "did anyone mention to you that i'm a 'pious' catholic?"; "which church are you from?" MY GOSH!! U THINK WAT? I WAN TO MARRY YOU!?!? like or... I HAVE TO BE MS PERFECT? oh.. MS GODLY to be a fren? i mean... i understd when pple are concerned abt religion. hey i am too! but i dun go round telling pple i'm a 'staunch' christian and am only interested in like.. holy pple? wat is this? some holy moley thing? SPARE ME! BUT its really worth a laugh. :)

anywayz, sailing is struck off my list now because of other work commitments. so... not too bad. maybe i can finally slowly lose my tan before i get another one end of the year. :)

and cheers to all the weird, unattached pple.. and the hot ;) unattached pple... LOL.... sorriez... still amused. *chuckles*

happy auntie giraffe

after a long week, and long day today, i've called it quits and took a cab home as early as i could today. wat awaited me was something very pleasant.

BOTH my sisters and cutie nephews were home!!!! its the first time ever i see the two cuties together. first thing i did was to whip out the camera and started shooting them tog. heh. and i had fun w the elder one, who's only 1 year plus.

really nice.... :) but still exhausted. wld oredi b concuzzed an hour ago had it not been for those handsome boys... :)

At Looooooooong Last...

I went running!!!

It was the usual 3km run. But I took 3 minutes longer. Drats.

Den went to buy chocolate bar, wafers, choc chip cookies. Sadly, not for my consumption. Using it to teach weathering this week. Mua ha ha... how to teach weathering w that? Use ur imagination and try to guess. I might just pass u one choc chip cookie if u guess correctly. *laughs*

Hope i'll run again

Taken from June 30, 2005

The Power of a Transcendent Life
by Francis Frangipane
Frangipane Ministries, Inc.

There are a great many books written today about developing our
spiritual gifts or discovering our purpose . . . most of them are
absolutely worthy of our attention. Recognizing our gifts and being
trained to serve God in our individual calling is part of doing His
will. Yet, there is a deeper, more essential goal -- an objective that
is ultimately far more valuable both to God and ourselves. I am talking
about the genuine quest to possess the likeness of Christ.

To seek spiritual fulfillment
from "our ministry" or "gifting" is to walk a path that actually leads
away from the fulfillment.

A "calling" or task may be to serve as a pastor or teacher or a
housewife or in the marketplace, but regardless of my outward
responsibilities, my core destiny -- the reality that continues
unfolding within me regardless of outward circumstances -- is to
embrace a life "conformed to the image of [God's] Son."

You see, our destiny is not what we do for God, but who we become to
Him. As we reach for Christlikeness, our love for God becomes richer,
our witness to sinners more powerful, and our secret life holy. As we
seek conformity to Jesus, we discover that all our spiritual desires
are rooted and nourished by conformity to Him.

The fact that the gifts and calling of God operate somewhat independent
of our character tell us that God will use imperfect people. But we
still must beware. A day may come when we look to our gifts or ministry
and plead, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your
name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?" But
Christ will not have it.

Instead, He will utter those most terrible words, "I never knew you;
depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness" (Matt 7:21-23).

You see, our gifts are necessary and understanding our calling is
vital. Yet, attaining the nature of Christ is our destiny.

Beloved, as we approach the end of the age, a new priority is coming to
God's people: the summing up of "all things in Christ" (see Eph
1:9-10). Both our gifts and our calling must serve our destiny, which
is to reveal the nature of Christ. The focus that brings meaning and
fulfillment is that which works to conform us inwardly to Christ. Our
lives are to become "a fragrance of Christ to God" (2 Cor 2:15). Yes,
the path to Christlikeness is the way to transcendent life of God.

Transcendance between two countries...

i went shopping in jb... with my dad.... yeah. my dad. no one could make it down (it was a pretty last min decision). i was all ready to go on my own cos need to get some shoes. and since my dad also happen to be going, we decided to go tog. (note: my dad doesn't shop. his... the... asian... dad). in the end, he did his stuff, i did mine and we met up later. :)

anywayz,some interesting things:

1. I saw quite a lot of st. johns boys n gals selling flags. (not quite flags, just with boxes for u to donate money). interesting point: the location. they were standing just BESIDE all the little immigration booths for both the entry AND exit points. honestly, singapore will not agree to this COMPLETELY. i'm not for or against this. just an interesting note from a local (institutioned) educator's point of view.

2. why is it pple claim that our country is more efficient, but our immigration neva live up to that name? most of the time, if not always when i cross the borders, i usually end up taking a significantly longer time at our end... then the other end. i cld pass the immigration that quickly, only to find myself stuck in my homeland's fence. vice versa. today, on the bike, same thing, to and fro. well, it cld b the security thing, it cld also be there are less counters open at our end. watever it is, doesn't matter, just an observation. :)

3. while stuck with 99% of the gender with the XY chromosones just outside the road leading to the immigration booths, i saw an interesting conversation struck up when one guy (the DOM type of look) with another when the former's scoot cldn't start up. its interesting to feel the tension... the interflux of intense competition (trying to get next in line) and the slight wavers of human kindness (when u see pple smile, or simply show some nuances of expression overhearing that conversation).

4. Barney speaks Malay!! (in Giant supermart)... urm... pun intended. *laughs*

Ok. I'm pretty tired. along the way, i had the time to tink of the things that are in my portfolio in the weeks to come. *shuddrs*. but i will NOT WORK TODAY!!! and start mugging tom.. hehz....

oh, and i got 3 pairs of shoes and 3 tops (one from a Mango sale, which is definitely a more humanizing experience than that of singapore's!!)

Top 10 Yeahs & Bleahs of my Panasonic

Yeahs
1. I can fwd a sms to multiple recipients FOR THE FIRST TIME (i tink. will test the function out later).
2. its red.
3. the sms-ing keys are almost the same as that of samsung. so dun hv to encounter much changes in adapting than if i had changed to a nokia)
4. the alarm actually still works even if i turn off the fon!!! (unlike my previous samsung)
5. cooler game than samsung (if othello counts. we are talking abt RELATIVITY here)
6. its red
7. its one of the smaller fons ard in the mkt now. (fons are pretty huge now)
8. its got camera and recorder function, not like i use it. tink the mpix is small, if i'm not wrong.
9. dunno abt memory space. but quite big? (compared to old samsung again)
10. its red

bleahs
1. bleah ringtones
2. bleah msg tones
3. bleah and few choices of ring and msg tones
4. softest volume chosen is still pretty loud
5. no spare batt
6. u cannot find a contact no. easily. it only brings u to the first alphabet of the name, thereafter, happy scrolling
7. its not a clamshell
8. calender function sucks - u can record ur schedule. BUT it only shows the list of activities... and do not reflect the activities if u just scroll to the date itself. wats the point when u hv to check if u are free on THAT date?
9. its not a clamshell
10. and "BESTEST" of all best... its got jay chou's faces in some of the options for wallpaper.... SAVE ME!!!!

Still getting to noe my little red fren....

and of course, i still hvn't touched my work review and its so gonna be overdue by tom.....

i just finished a book in 4 hours...

thanks to EC who shoved Every Boy's One by Meg Cabot to me on Sun despite i telling her i wanna finish another book (which i did in 2 days)... i've been crazy....

anywayz, this book is not as interesting as the first one i read by Meg.... still entertaining.. and i can return it before its overdue and dear EC gets fined...

when actually I SHLD BE DOING MY WORK REVIEW cos its kindof overdue soon.. CHONG EC!!!!....

in any case, she just stopped me from watching CSI... lol.... siao cha bor.. and she's holding on the fon waiting for me to blog this now... ah ha ha ha....

we are both crazy....

change? experiment?

I just got a new mobile. Its a RED panasonic sliding fon. I've finally gotten my red fon. dun get me wrong. i love white fons. my previous 3 fons were white.. but somehow... they get yellowish and dun look as nice after a while. red.. is a nice change. i used to go with samsung... despite it failing me time and time again... but now decided to go with panasonic, because samsung just did not hv the clamsheel i've always adored since day 1, and sitll adore. and yes... speaking of clamshell... i told pple... i will neva get sliding... i stick to clamshell.. sadly there are no decent clamshells ard (nokia has improved on their clamshell.. but still too bulky.. and well.. its nokia)..... so... the next best is the red sliding.. .lol

i hope it works out. haven't tested the sound yet. shall wait till tom when its fully charged

in any case... took longer than expected to get the fon. thot i'll head home from parkway after church... but no.... ended up in PS.... thot i'll leave at 5 to catch Minority Report.. but no..... ended up getting EC's fon as well and watching War of the Worlds. Its scary and exciting at the begining.. but alas.... liek mr n mrs smith... enidng was..... lame....

anywayz, meet up with bui bui and EC for lunch... so was good... shopped for fon with EC. i came back with 2 and she with one.... darn tired now. trying to finish the book Backpack i started two nites ago.. before sch... i've been doing nothing but reading this book since i started... lol.... man.... must finish.. must finish.....

ok... enff updates.. hungry