L.O.V.E

Nope, not the song by Frank Sinatra (which is supposedly up on my site, but has disappeared since... whenever...)

Attitude in life has gotta change. During convocation, I was talking to thamps, telling her that at that moment my attitude was the 'Just do it' which accounts for my msn nick... dun feel.. dun even tink too much, just do it! It is 'emotionless', nonchalant, deviod of feelings for my students.. but at least i'll survive at that moment. Either that, or fall into depression... Both of us agreed it cannot be the long term solution, but at this phase, out of the two, 'Just do it' is the more feasible one.

I am thankful that God, being a faithful and God of grace is slowly changing my heart. Slowly, a third 'alternative' has emerged.. and that is to look at life in totality again, and not to look at things in a myopic manner. Well, more like a heart change. I knew these things earlier.. but my heart was... cold.. hardened... deaf... blind.. watever.. Many things that have overwhelmed me are but.. temporal and small things in comparison to the many other important things God intends. He has reminded me again.. to LOVE.

How do i noe? I dunno. lol. But this morn just before church, i dunno wat made me smsed a close fren.. telling her tt she's got a fren in me. well, i SINCERELY meant it. strangely, that made me feel 'good' inside. many frens have been encouraging me. i hvn't been encouraging pple for long. den it occurred to me... that He wans me to love... well, apparently today's sermon happened to affirm that.

I wanted to love.. I wanted to love my students.. but I did not know how to. Honestly, I still dunno how to. But I am trusting Him to teach me to. I'm just allowing Him to do it at this moment. Sometimes my heart still quivers at the thot of the week coming up.. facing the students.. worse! having an observation for ENGLISH class?!? but... are those really THAT important to Him?

People are asking who i wanna love... at least those who just saw my new msn nick saying 'giraffe wans to love'. All i can say is.. 'people in general'. my frens, my students.. and even the challenging ones.. the teachers.

well... the week going to begin again. much tasks. (much because uncountable. mua ha ha.. english tr. :-P) i'm sure i'll waver.. but by the grace of God, may He help me love.. just as He loved...