Dear Daddy
My gals and I are going to collect field data using the GPS system tomorrow. We have no other slots to do it.
The weather forecast says its likely to rain in the east and partial cloudy in the central. I dunno if we are considered east or central. There are no sight of stars tonite (clouds).
Dear Daddy, please blow the clouds away and hold the rain til after 2pm. I can only ask this of You and no one else.
A simple little prayer of someone learning to pray with simple faith.
In Jesus name Amen
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Monday, August 29, 2005
hitting the lows after the high
It was an interesting dive trip. Was away for the Project AWARE - Reef Check survey over the weekend. Even before I left the country excited things oredi happened.
Pre-trip:
Divers to meet at 7pm. But the school function started at 7pm. So I was expected to be late. JK was aware tt I'll leave sch at 8.10pm and fly to his dive shop. But there was a change of plan....
When I got up the cab and gave him the directions, the cab driver was SO BLUR. So I attempted to call JK to get even more detailed directions.
JK: Where are you?
ST: In a cab
JK: Where exactly?
ST: SG area
JK: Get down the cab
ST: huh?!?
JK: We're going to your school to pick you.
ST: ?!? Where are you now?
JK: Outside your sch. Where exactly are you? Stop wherever you are.
ST: Near the stadium........ .... more exchanges on location .... .... mess... ....
ST: I din noe you were coming
JK: I tried to call you. But you did not pick up.
ST: I was in a service cant pick up.
JK: You shldn't even hv .... aiya, watever.
ST: Anyway, my mobile din even register your call.
JK: No reception den. Are you at the ... .... I'm at the ... ...
ST: I dun see the van/
JK: We are in a car.
ST: black color car? I'm behind the car's junction...
..... ..... ST ran to the car 100m away in her pants and heels...
In the car... after the brief greeting formalities...
ST: Did you bring my stuff?
JK: Yeah.
ST turned back and saw her gear bag.
ST: Did you bring my red haversack?
JK: @#$^&*@ JK called a couple of ppl... confirmed ST's haversack was in shop. JK instructed JL to drive back to shop....
Throughout the trip:
Company wasn't fantastic. Pple pretty exclusive. Cos the pple oredi knew each other from their YEP trip or were from the shop, my buddy and i mostly talked to each other, ate aside from others, or i just walked by the beach myself. (They were not terribly exclusive.) But its ok. I understd and am not upset. Enjoyed the quiet moments anywayz. :) I"m hear for the dive, to try out something new, and tt's enough. GOod company is a bonus.
Dives:
Different from the usual. INstead of moving ard, movementw as very restricted. There was a lot of focus on the demarcated area. So the scope of visual was limited, but intense. Never had I scrutinized rocks or corals that closely. Did fish and bentic survey. Fish survey was boring... and cold... Bentic was challenging but more fun, especially the snapping and reeling back of tapes and pegs. Was having fun with my new accessories - slate, rattler/shaker cum pointer, and my black gloves. Love the gloves. lol.
I did not participate in the nite dive. first time i said no to a dive. primary reason - i was tired and not feeling too good - bad state to dive. secondary reasons - the company wasn't good to dive w, and of course, JK made it clear tt he did not really welcome non-staff to dive, but asked out of courtesy?!?!
Only leisure dive on Sunday morn was like.... sososososo... y? cos i got a fairly new DMT. He's a nice chap. But still fairly inexperienced. I'm not extremely good in directions,but thot the route he took was weird. My buddy (who's a freelance instructor confirmed my view, tho she said she kept quiet out of respect for the dive leader) Anywayz, he took us across loads of currents. Most of the time I just stayed real low to reduce the influence of the currents and at times while waiting for him to figure out exactly where we are heading i just find a rock or depression to hid in from the currents (learnt from previous trips. lol). I tink i spotted more interesting stuff than he did!
Final dive was a cleanup dive. It was the battle between the genders of who's gonna pick up more crap from the sea. And guess wat? We won hands down. We managed TWO FULL mesh bags of crap including fishing nets, lines, plastic bag, satay stick, glove, .... as well as an ANCHOR!!!. The boys? A mesh bag hardly full. lol. It was fun lookng for crap and manuevering abt to pick them up esp with some requiring some untangling from the reefs etc.
All in all, this was a VERY DIFFERENT trip from all the previous. It wasn't 'fun'. Different company. Different perspective under water. But I appreciated it just as much. Meanwhile, feeling very sian from the low after the high nitrox.... lol.... BLEAH.
Pre-trip:
Divers to meet at 7pm. But the school function started at 7pm. So I was expected to be late. JK was aware tt I'll leave sch at 8.10pm and fly to his dive shop. But there was a change of plan....
When I got up the cab and gave him the directions, the cab driver was SO BLUR. So I attempted to call JK to get even more detailed directions.
JK: Where are you?
ST: In a cab
JK: Where exactly?
ST: SG area
JK: Get down the cab
ST: huh?!?
JK: We're going to your school to pick you.
ST: ?!? Where are you now?
JK: Outside your sch. Where exactly are you? Stop wherever you are.
ST: Near the stadium........ .... more exchanges on location .... .... mess... ....
ST: I din noe you were coming
JK: I tried to call you. But you did not pick up.
ST: I was in a service cant pick up.
JK: You shldn't even hv .... aiya, watever.
ST: Anyway, my mobile din even register your call.
JK: No reception den. Are you at the ... .... I'm at the ... ...
ST: I dun see the van/
JK: We are in a car.
ST: black color car? I'm behind the car's junction...
..... ..... ST ran to the car 100m away in her pants and heels...
In the car... after the brief greeting formalities...
ST: Did you bring my stuff?
JK: Yeah.
ST turned back and saw her gear bag.
ST: Did you bring my red haversack?
JK: @#$^&*@ JK called a couple of ppl... confirmed ST's haversack was in shop. JK instructed JL to drive back to shop....
Throughout the trip:
Company wasn't fantastic. Pple pretty exclusive. Cos the pple oredi knew each other from their YEP trip or were from the shop, my buddy and i mostly talked to each other, ate aside from others, or i just walked by the beach myself. (They were not terribly exclusive.) But its ok. I understd and am not upset. Enjoyed the quiet moments anywayz. :) I"m hear for the dive, to try out something new, and tt's enough. GOod company is a bonus.
Dives:
Different from the usual. INstead of moving ard, movementw as very restricted. There was a lot of focus on the demarcated area. So the scope of visual was limited, but intense. Never had I scrutinized rocks or corals that closely. Did fish and bentic survey. Fish survey was boring... and cold... Bentic was challenging but more fun, especially the snapping and reeling back of tapes and pegs. Was having fun with my new accessories - slate, rattler/shaker cum pointer, and my black gloves. Love the gloves. lol.
I did not participate in the nite dive. first time i said no to a dive. primary reason - i was tired and not feeling too good - bad state to dive. secondary reasons - the company wasn't good to dive w, and of course, JK made it clear tt he did not really welcome non-staff to dive, but asked out of courtesy?!?!
Only leisure dive on Sunday morn was like.... sososososo... y? cos i got a fairly new DMT. He's a nice chap. But still fairly inexperienced. I'm not extremely good in directions,but thot the route he took was weird. My buddy (who's a freelance instructor confirmed my view, tho she said she kept quiet out of respect for the dive leader) Anywayz, he took us across loads of currents. Most of the time I just stayed real low to reduce the influence of the currents and at times while waiting for him to figure out exactly where we are heading i just find a rock or depression to hid in from the currents (learnt from previous trips. lol). I tink i spotted more interesting stuff than he did!
Final dive was a cleanup dive. It was the battle between the genders of who's gonna pick up more crap from the sea. And guess wat? We won hands down. We managed TWO FULL mesh bags of crap including fishing nets, lines, plastic bag, satay stick, glove, .... as well as an ANCHOR!!!. The boys? A mesh bag hardly full. lol. It was fun lookng for crap and manuevering abt to pick them up esp with some requiring some untangling from the reefs etc.
All in all, this was a VERY DIFFERENT trip from all the previous. It wasn't 'fun'. Different company. Different perspective under water. But I appreciated it just as much. Meanwhile, feeling very sian from the low after the high nitrox.... lol.... BLEAH.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Fast updates
Today went with the kids from COSI to the zoo... in heels... with my makeup... in black... See, i did not expect to join them. but got roped in last minute after playing for church service. at the zoo, we were stuck in the rain for an hour. my heels were soaked. i was exhasuted. but spent good time, esp with Sophuan, the girl i met during my last trip jun last year. some rude youths from church were present, but mostly i ignored them. other than that... it was great with the kids. they got excited over the rain and the (i dunno wat name) fruit that dropped onto the ground more than over the animals. i bet they've seen more than we did. and yes, i saw my cousins, the giraffe. and giraffe comes from the phrase 'very fast moving camel and leopard'. go figure.
will be super busy next week. many events. most exciting one: my training for a conservation dive next weekend. mon, tues and thurs nite i will be away for 3 hours each for the training. this is on top of my other school meetings and trainings which ends at 6pm on mon and thurs. my epms is due next mon. fri will be rushing from place to place... bringing kids to nus, den rush to a school function (grrr...) den RUSH for my dive trip. (supposed to report at 7.30pm, but sch only releasing me at 8.10, meaning the whole world - just the dive grp wld be waiting for me). so, i'm pretty dead next week. and the following. sometimes i really feel like drawying out of this trip, like frees up 3 nights, and entire weekend. hey, but told myself not to feel, JUST DO IT. bcos tt's wat i really wanna do.
ok. not too fast update done.
will be super busy next week. many events. most exciting one: my training for a conservation dive next weekend. mon, tues and thurs nite i will be away for 3 hours each for the training. this is on top of my other school meetings and trainings which ends at 6pm on mon and thurs. my epms is due next mon. fri will be rushing from place to place... bringing kids to nus, den rush to a school function (grrr...) den RUSH for my dive trip. (supposed to report at 7.30pm, but sch only releasing me at 8.10, meaning the whole world - just the dive grp wld be waiting for me). so, i'm pretty dead next week. and the following. sometimes i really feel like drawying out of this trip, like frees up 3 nights, and entire weekend. hey, but told myself not to feel, JUST DO IT. bcos tt's wat i really wanna do.
ok. not too fast update done.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Rattana
Five years ago, I met her in my 3-mth stint in Cambodia. She was the daughter of Laundy. They were staying with us in my aparrment to take care of an infant.
Rattana, was a dark, 5-year old. Thin. Long limbs. Pretty curls. Big eyes. She was smart. What makes my heart each time was when she broke into her sweet smile and chuckle.
She would come into my room in the day. Sit beside me by the table while I prepare for the English classes. She would draw using the paper and pencil provided for her. Sometimes house, sometimes cat. I have a cat in my journal drawn by her on one of the occasions. My table always had some snacks, one of it was preserved fruits (long and squiggly type). I would feed her with those and each time we both put those into our mouths, we would cringe together. But the practice continued. She was a curious lad everready to learn new English words. I was folding away my laundry, and she would ask me what they were in English - skirt, shorts, shirt. We played lanterns during Mid-Autumn festival.
Two years later, I saw her in COSI. As usual, I carried her and piggy-backed her.. But she got heavier. One afternoon, while we were at the playground, she was sitting on my lap on a swing. Her dark palms on mine. And I thought to myself, one day, she will outgrow me. Her hands will grow bigger, she can't sit on my lap anymore.
Two days ago, I saw her in my church sanctuary. She was tall - at my chest. She's 12. Her hair was less wavy. But still the same sweet smile. She brightened my tough day.
That night, the memories came back so fresh to me. The smell of the dust in the evening air outside the MC in Cambodia, the touch of the dark hardwood study table I use each day in my room, my currently 5 years old notebook, the smell of the soaps I used, the golden sunsets, the feel of the tiled floors of the office on barefoot, the babies, the dusty sanctuary. That night, I remembered Cambodia the way I have not for a long long time.
I will be meeting her soon today with CP and OL. For her, I will make time. :)
Rattana, was a dark, 5-year old. Thin. Long limbs. Pretty curls. Big eyes. She was smart. What makes my heart each time was when she broke into her sweet smile and chuckle.
She would come into my room in the day. Sit beside me by the table while I prepare for the English classes. She would draw using the paper and pencil provided for her. Sometimes house, sometimes cat. I have a cat in my journal drawn by her on one of the occasions. My table always had some snacks, one of it was preserved fruits (long and squiggly type). I would feed her with those and each time we both put those into our mouths, we would cringe together. But the practice continued. She was a curious lad everready to learn new English words. I was folding away my laundry, and she would ask me what they were in English - skirt, shorts, shirt. We played lanterns during Mid-Autumn festival.
Two years later, I saw her in COSI. As usual, I carried her and piggy-backed her.. But she got heavier. One afternoon, while we were at the playground, she was sitting on my lap on a swing. Her dark palms on mine. And I thought to myself, one day, she will outgrow me. Her hands will grow bigger, she can't sit on my lap anymore.
Two days ago, I saw her in my church sanctuary. She was tall - at my chest. She's 12. Her hair was less wavy. But still the same sweet smile. She brightened my tough day.
That night, the memories came back so fresh to me. The smell of the dust in the evening air outside the MC in Cambodia, the touch of the dark hardwood study table I use each day in my room, my currently 5 years old notebook, the smell of the soaps I used, the golden sunsets, the feel of the tiled floors of the office on barefoot, the babies, the dusty sanctuary. That night, I remembered Cambodia the way I have not for a long long time.
I will be meeting her soon today with CP and OL. For her, I will make time. :)
Monday, August 15, 2005
Five dollars movie ticket... Is it for real?
Yeah it is! I watched it today. But spent another 5 on cab, thereby, making the price of watching the show equivalent to watching it elsewhere during weekends. lol
Where was it? PRINCESS at bedok! sounds dodgey? Its pretty decent actually. The tickets are printed using dot matrix printer... popcorns sold there cost SGD1.50, packed in the plastic containers u use to pack ur ice kachang and ice jelly.
cinema theatre itself gave me a feeling i've neva felt in a long time. Its not new, not as much cushion, but sufficiently comfortable. Best part, it wasn't full, less than 10 pple... and we bought our tix at 1515 hours, when the show was scheduled to start at 1515hrs... and it DID start by 1520 hours, cos... i dun rem seeing ANY commercials! nope. no farnie smell... farnie stains.. it was really decent.
The show was... hilarious... thoroughly enjoyed it. Given today's almost-real-life graphics, when the scene openned, i really forgot and thot it was an animation film. ONly to be reminded after the boy appeared that.. no, its not (even if computer graphics were applied). The way they put the makeup of the kids... Johny Depp, the bright colors... really made them look like animation many times. The line between the 'real' and the 'graphics' are is fine here, its different from the other films such as Star Wars or Titanic, etc... cos... the effect really adds and enhances the fantasy feeling. Brilliant.
I loved the little men, or was it man? same face, different roles. lol. i really wonder who that man is in real life, and how they even chose him for this role(s). Imagine urself holding that role, .... , .....
Anyways, the sound of the crunch each time a kid bites into the chocolate makes my knees go soft.... so i'm back to crunching chocs. managed to kick tt (therapuetic) habit for at abt 3 days.... but... after the show.. succumbbed back to the dark side......
in short, i loved the movie. its was more than the 'fun'. it was the fantasy-like journey u're brought into... and heartwarming bits abt family.. but humbug that. *laughs*
Anyhow, tix on weekdays cost SGD5 and on weekends SGD7.50. For the price, its really comparative to cineleisure where i watched bewitched last weekend. less cushee on the armrest. but like the one at cineleisure, no headrest. but cheaper. u take ur pick.
Where was it? PRINCESS at bedok! sounds dodgey? Its pretty decent actually. The tickets are printed using dot matrix printer... popcorns sold there cost SGD1.50, packed in the plastic containers u use to pack ur ice kachang and ice jelly.
cinema theatre itself gave me a feeling i've neva felt in a long time. Its not new, not as much cushion, but sufficiently comfortable. Best part, it wasn't full, less than 10 pple... and we bought our tix at 1515 hours, when the show was scheduled to start at 1515hrs... and it DID start by 1520 hours, cos... i dun rem seeing ANY commercials! nope. no farnie smell... farnie stains.. it was really decent.
The show was... hilarious... thoroughly enjoyed it. Given today's almost-real-life graphics, when the scene openned, i really forgot and thot it was an animation film. ONly to be reminded after the boy appeared that.. no, its not (even if computer graphics were applied). The way they put the makeup of the kids... Johny Depp, the bright colors... really made them look like animation many times. The line between the 'real' and the 'graphics' are is fine here, its different from the other films such as Star Wars or Titanic, etc... cos... the effect really adds and enhances the fantasy feeling. Brilliant.
I loved the little men, or was it man? same face, different roles. lol. i really wonder who that man is in real life, and how they even chose him for this role(s). Imagine urself holding that role, .... , .....
Anyways, the sound of the crunch each time a kid bites into the chocolate makes my knees go soft.... so i'm back to crunching chocs. managed to kick tt (therapuetic) habit for at abt 3 days.... but... after the show.. succumbbed back to the dark side......
in short, i loved the movie. its was more than the 'fun'. it was the fantasy-like journey u're brought into... and heartwarming bits abt family.. but humbug that. *laughs*
Anyhow, tix on weekdays cost SGD5 and on weekends SGD7.50. For the price, its really comparative to cineleisure where i watched bewitched last weekend. less cushee on the armrest. but like the one at cineleisure, no headrest. but cheaper. u take ur pick.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
mind your own business
i was on my way back from the celebrations on the bus last nite. just as i was abt to get down from the 2nd deck of the bus to alight, i saw a 2-dollar note on the chair on the adjacent row behind me.
I thot for a moment and recalled a 50+ yr old man sitting there. He just got down a little before me, but was alighting at the same stop as me. I thot to myself, shld I bring the 2 bucks down for him? Well, its only 2 bucks. I dun wanna talk to anyone i dunno. Its only 2 bucks. No big deal.
*took two steps down the flight of stairs*
Thot again. Wow, in my mom's days, they would immediately rush down with the money and go 'hey you left your money behind'. Is this wat our system has taught us? To be 'tolerant' to the point of 'mind your own business - no matter wat?' Sad, but to some extent true.
*backtracked, picked up the purple note and went down the stairs*
"urm... you left this behind on the seat". Not a single word of thanks, we both alighted.
What is this society becoming?
I thot for a moment and recalled a 50+ yr old man sitting there. He just got down a little before me, but was alighting at the same stop as me. I thot to myself, shld I bring the 2 bucks down for him? Well, its only 2 bucks. I dun wanna talk to anyone i dunno. Its only 2 bucks. No big deal.
*took two steps down the flight of stairs*
Thot again. Wow, in my mom's days, they would immediately rush down with the money and go 'hey you left your money behind'. Is this wat our system has taught us? To be 'tolerant' to the point of 'mind your own business - no matter wat?' Sad, but to some extent true.
*backtracked, picked up the purple note and went down the stairs*
"urm... you left this behind on the seat". Not a single word of thanks, we both alighted.
What is this society becoming?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
You noe you are hooked on Bejeweled when
you look at your fren's face, and u want to arrange her nose upwards to be in line with her two eyes... ...
damn the sound effects. :P
damn the sound effects. :P
Of Memories...
2. Fireworks
At 0000hr tis morn, while I was still working on my computer, i heard the sounds of fireworks booming away. But no, i cant see the fireworks. Why? typical high rised buildings.
20 years ago, when I was still in Pri sch, we would be able see most of the fireworks, at least half of the top of the fireworks from my living room when we look out into the corridor. The biggest and highest fireworks, yes, we can catch the full sight. If we really wanted to, we would go up to the 10th storey (i stay on the 9th) and catch the lights in its splendor.
Now, I can only hear the fireworks. I can't see the 'culprit' high rise, but am pretty sure they are the ones who are blocking me from it.
In any case, the mood of National Day is really here. Why? Early last morning, I have to lead in community singing... and rouse the girls to a 'high' singing... thereafter, brought some kids to practise community drumming. That was a torture. I ended up with a swollen head ready to explode from all the noise (bad accoustics that trap the sounds of drums of kids which were so not syncronised for at least 5 hours) and a pretty deaf pair of ears. By the time we got back to school, it was 9pm (spent 15 hours working), and I was totally exhasuted with the 'prep' for National Day. How can I not feel the mood? *laughs*
At 0000hr tis morn, while I was still working on my computer, i heard the sounds of fireworks booming away. But no, i cant see the fireworks. Why? typical high rised buildings.
20 years ago, when I was still in Pri sch, we would be able see most of the fireworks, at least half of the top of the fireworks from my living room when we look out into the corridor. The biggest and highest fireworks, yes, we can catch the full sight. If we really wanted to, we would go up to the 10th storey (i stay on the 9th) and catch the lights in its splendor.
Now, I can only hear the fireworks. I can't see the 'culprit' high rise, but am pretty sure they are the ones who are blocking me from it.
In any case, the mood of National Day is really here. Why? Early last morning, I have to lead in community singing... and rouse the girls to a 'high' singing... thereafter, brought some kids to practise community drumming. That was a torture. I ended up with a swollen head ready to explode from all the noise (bad accoustics that trap the sounds of drums of kids which were so not syncronised for at least 5 hours) and a pretty deaf pair of ears. By the time we got back to school, it was 9pm (spent 15 hours working), and I was totally exhasuted with the 'prep' for National Day. How can I not feel the mood? *laughs*
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Of Memories...
1. Drinks during Chinese New Year
As far as I remembered, as a young kid 20 years ago, it was the glass-bottled F & N orange soft drinks. The bottle was unlike even the old glass bottled soft drinks in the other SEA countries we are familiar with. It had a straight narrow 'neck' and a straight wider 'body'.
A couple of years later, other colored soft drinks came into the picture. There were the colorful (red, green, orange, purple) FANTA (the red and green gone now), caffenited soft drinks (huge war between SARSI, PEPSI, COKE den, of which SARSI seemed to have vanished and I just realize today I cant find Pepsi original anymore), SPRITE, 7-Up.
Soon, the generation prefered 'healthier', 'non-carbonated' versions of drinks. In came the lemon tea (mostly Yeos, if I remember correctly). Today, many other teas entered the market... Green tea, green tea with jasmine, white tea (the latest, so haven't had that during chinese new year yet).
I wonder what's next. But one thing that seems to have survived all these 20 years, despite all the new drinks that have emerged (essentially simply water and sugar), the orange soft drink has remained.
I miss the old days.
As far as I remembered, as a young kid 20 years ago, it was the glass-bottled F & N orange soft drinks. The bottle was unlike even the old glass bottled soft drinks in the other SEA countries we are familiar with. It had a straight narrow 'neck' and a straight wider 'body'.
A couple of years later, other colored soft drinks came into the picture. There were the colorful (red, green, orange, purple) FANTA (the red and green gone now), caffenited soft drinks (huge war between SARSI, PEPSI, COKE den, of which SARSI seemed to have vanished and I just realize today I cant find Pepsi original anymore), SPRITE, 7-Up.
Soon, the generation prefered 'healthier', 'non-carbonated' versions of drinks. In came the lemon tea (mostly Yeos, if I remember correctly). Today, many other teas entered the market... Green tea, green tea with jasmine, white tea (the latest, so haven't had that during chinese new year yet).
I wonder what's next. But one thing that seems to have survived all these 20 years, despite all the new drinks that have emerged (essentially simply water and sugar), the orange soft drink has remained.
I miss the old days.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Dear Abba
You said that my purpose here on earth is to glorify You - to be perfected into the image of Jesus Christ through worship, the offering of my life as a living sacrifice. The rest comes secondary to this divine purpose.
To be perfected into the image of Christ - love You commanded. The incomprehensiveness of the depth of the meaning of love. Love thy neighbors. Love thy enemies. Love them unconditionally. Above all, love You will all my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength, my will.
How to love You when all I'm doing is just holding on to the faith and the hope You have sowed in me ages ago? My Father, songs and words alone do You no justice. What is it I need to know You? To hear You?
Some say, our purpose is to be ready for heaven, meanwhile enjoy and to live happy as well. What is the definition of enjoy and to live happy?
What does it mean when it is said that I should seek You as a jewel? How do the rest of the other things - work, upgrading - come into the picture? How do they add up to Your big plan?
Abba, I wish I can hear You more clearly in this noise. I wish I can understand Your love more. I wish I could long for You and Your return more. I wish I can have a better idea of what is going on. Can I?
Your wondering child
To be perfected into the image of Christ - love You commanded. The incomprehensiveness of the depth of the meaning of love. Love thy neighbors. Love thy enemies. Love them unconditionally. Above all, love You will all my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength, my will.
How to love You when all I'm doing is just holding on to the faith and the hope You have sowed in me ages ago? My Father, songs and words alone do You no justice. What is it I need to know You? To hear You?
Some say, our purpose is to be ready for heaven, meanwhile enjoy and to live happy as well. What is the definition of enjoy and to live happy?
What does it mean when it is said that I should seek You as a jewel? How do the rest of the other things - work, upgrading - come into the picture? How do they add up to Your big plan?
Abba, I wish I can hear You more clearly in this noise. I wish I can understand Your love more. I wish I could long for You and Your return more. I wish I can have a better idea of what is going on. Can I?
Your wondering child
Saturday, July 30, 2005
black tie event
went for the black tie event.
God was good. y? i was so gonna be late cos i cldn't get cab for like half an hour. no point panicking, told myself. only prayed quietly for a cab. but still no cab. but there was a reason for that! see, wheni arrived at the function room, i just BUMPED straight into one of the other volunteer i noe. see, i dunno a lot of pple there. so its a GREAT thing to bump into her. and we stuck to each other. if i had a cab and reached on time (according to the invite) i'll be all by myself. speaking of His timing.
anywayz, guess wat?!?!? i've got like Song from song & kelly sitting with us at our table!!! plus a power 98 DJ. (i dunno who she is, cos tt's not my station). plus a yoga guru from India, and a couple who set up their own business in event management. COOL ey! i mean, here's an unglam teacher, with 'glam' pple like Song. He's decent to talk to. nice chap who was trying not to be bored. *laughs* all in all, it was a nice dinner, having acquainted with new pple like that.
i need to learn how to do nite makeup man. my usual makeup tricks are not enuff to get by more 'glam' nites. anyone expert? *laughs*
God was good. y? i was so gonna be late cos i cldn't get cab for like half an hour. no point panicking, told myself. only prayed quietly for a cab. but still no cab. but there was a reason for that! see, wheni arrived at the function room, i just BUMPED straight into one of the other volunteer i noe. see, i dunno a lot of pple there. so its a GREAT thing to bump into her. and we stuck to each other. if i had a cab and reached on time (according to the invite) i'll be all by myself. speaking of His timing.
anywayz, guess wat?!?!? i've got like Song from song & kelly sitting with us at our table!!! plus a power 98 DJ. (i dunno who she is, cos tt's not my station). plus a yoga guru from India, and a couple who set up their own business in event management. COOL ey! i mean, here's an unglam teacher, with 'glam' pple like Song. He's decent to talk to. nice chap who was trying not to be bored. *laughs* all in all, it was a nice dinner, having acquainted with new pple like that.
i need to learn how to do nite makeup man. my usual makeup tricks are not enuff to get by more 'glam' nites. anyone expert? *laughs*
Thursday, July 28, 2005
happy
brought my guitar gals to do community performance. language barrier... difficult for the kids. but i was pleaslantly surprised to hear from some tt they found the experience fruitful nonetheless. really happy.
tis yr's been gd. i get to get my dreams come true. brought kids overseas for community service and now my guit gals.
am looking at an end-aug dive trip tt has some conservational stuff invovled (if not, i'm getting pretty bored w the site). but... really depedns if i get the leave. *fingers-crossed* suuposed to hv some methodist trs gathering tt evening. hope they forget abt it and just sign my leave form.:P
am extremelt exhsausted. had been rushing from place to place... with kids.. or for church since yest morn. collapsing anymoremtn now. just thot i shld blog tt good stuff tt happened to my kids tis afternn. memorabile wat.
OHOH and i just got infvited for a black-tie eevent tom nite!! HOW HOW? i forgot how to dress up proeproly after all these ' i'm darn too tired to care abt how i look'. *panicks*
tis yr's been gd. i get to get my dreams come true. brought kids overseas for community service and now my guit gals.
am looking at an end-aug dive trip tt has some conservational stuff invovled (if not, i'm getting pretty bored w the site). but... really depedns if i get the leave. *fingers-crossed* suuposed to hv some methodist trs gathering tt evening. hope they forget abt it and just sign my leave form.:P
am extremelt exhsausted. had been rushing from place to place... with kids.. or for church since yest morn. collapsing anymoremtn now. just thot i shld blog tt good stuff tt happened to my kids tis afternn. memorabile wat.
OHOH and i just got infvited for a black-tie eevent tom nite!! HOW HOW? i forgot how to dress up proeproly after all these ' i'm darn too tired to care abt how i look'. *panicks*
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Today... ... ...
I got up at 4 plus am to reach sentosa to go to kusu for the reefwalk w TS & EC. It was a nice slow walk on the reeftop. Muddy. Saw interesting stuff, some i see in the sea. tho d colors cant match when i'm in the sea, its still beautiful. except the sun really zapped out the energy. not feeling well lately anywayz.
hung ard and got home in late afternn. tired and snoozed alittle. got up n watched the making of the island (wanna watch tt show!!) and starwars finally!
feeling alittle blue. maybe cos been tired physically. most prob cos i hvn't really been reading the word or praying.
getting tired of drifting ard. tis world is not my home, i'm just a passerby. how impt it is to rem tt thot. but being plugged into this world so real, with all the expectations from pple in all aspects... ... how easy it is to lose sight of the even more REAL, which, doesn't seem so obvious or clear now.
Is tis wat life is abt? Finding the REAL in the midst of the surrounding mounting pressures?
They say its all abt Jesus. Its just abt Jesus. Is it so simple to just focus on Him? How real is Jesus? I'm putting my faith in His name. But tt aint sufficient. Just aint sufficient. So wat? So how? .... .... ....
How real is Jesus to u?
hung ard and got home in late afternn. tired and snoozed alittle. got up n watched the making of the island (wanna watch tt show!!) and starwars finally!
feeling alittle blue. maybe cos been tired physically. most prob cos i hvn't really been reading the word or praying.
getting tired of drifting ard. tis world is not my home, i'm just a passerby. how impt it is to rem tt thot. but being plugged into this world so real, with all the expectations from pple in all aspects... ... how easy it is to lose sight of the even more REAL, which, doesn't seem so obvious or clear now.
Is tis wat life is abt? Finding the REAL in the midst of the surrounding mounting pressures?
They say its all abt Jesus. Its just abt Jesus. Is it so simple to just focus on Him? How real is Jesus? I'm putting my faith in His name. But tt aint sufficient. Just aint sufficient. So wat? So how? .... .... ....
How real is Jesus to u?
Five years ago
25 July 2000, Tuesday, 0846hr
Day 43 in Cambodia
At LD's place having breakfast now. As usual, in the past 6 days, many things happened. I can cycle! At least balance, but still can't turn. :(
.... ... ... ...
Yest while we were going out for dinner with the field director, etc (whoever), supposed to wait for Js. Where we were supposed to wait for them, there were police doing inspection, along the road, doing body search, holding rifles. It was a little scary waiting there. Actually not scary, but you will feel concerned. Was praying half the time for safety...
In the meantime, saw a mother squatting by the side of a photo shop, with her baby asleep on the floor. I was commenting to AR abt d guy, in front of us who was munching on a 'nom-pang' (bread)that its prob his dinner, and how blessed we are. He was saying tong2 ren2 bu4 tong2 ming4. Which was absolutely true. Wat's d only diff? The diff is where you are born in. There are so many more out there. Am I just going to settle for wat i have while many others are out there suffering? What if Jesus had decided to stay in His own glorious heaven and not come down as a lowly baby?
Then practical thots come along. THots abt yah, spend a few yrs in d mission field, then wat? COmpetition in Spore wld have made me'obsolete'. Maybe work a few yrs, gather some experience as a safety net? Actually, in the first place, I have made education my safety net already. How many safety nets do I need? Isn't the Lord more than sufficient? ...
...
Yi-hee. yest AR & Vim/CO were saying they'll give me an "A" for my khmer considering d fact I was here for only 1 mth plus & without a teacher. But I know it is of an d from the Lord, with all the prayers. If not, dun tink i can move so quickly. :) Can get a little scary sometimes when emailing or wirting stuff, will tink of typing/writing d khmer words.
Sok Mean gave me a little heart which says Just for You on Sunday. So cute & so sweet. :) Chaya passed me foto we took tog. so nice of him to rem. Can still rem how he wanted the nice bkgrd behind us, then pose, then no negative!! hee hee. Received a little from .... yest. Very interesting letter. Shall end here. Tired already. :)
0916hr
Day 43 in Cambodia
At LD's place having breakfast now. As usual, in the past 6 days, many things happened. I can cycle! At least balance, but still can't turn. :(
.... ... ... ...
Yest while we were going out for dinner with the field director, etc (whoever), supposed to wait for Js. Where we were supposed to wait for them, there were police doing inspection, along the road, doing body search, holding rifles. It was a little scary waiting there. Actually not scary, but you will feel concerned. Was praying half the time for safety...
In the meantime, saw a mother squatting by the side of a photo shop, with her baby asleep on the floor. I was commenting to AR abt d guy, in front of us who was munching on a 'nom-pang' (bread)that its prob his dinner, and how blessed we are. He was saying tong2 ren2 bu4 tong2 ming4. Which was absolutely true. Wat's d only diff? The diff is where you are born in. There are so many more out there. Am I just going to settle for wat i have while many others are out there suffering? What if Jesus had decided to stay in His own glorious heaven and not come down as a lowly baby?
Then practical thots come along. THots abt yah, spend a few yrs in d mission field, then wat? COmpetition in Spore wld have made me'obsolete'. Maybe work a few yrs, gather some experience as a safety net? Actually, in the first place, I have made education my safety net already. How many safety nets do I need? Isn't the Lord more than sufficient? ...
...
Yi-hee. yest AR & Vim/CO were saying they'll give me an "A" for my khmer considering d fact I was here for only 1 mth plus & without a teacher. But I know it is of an d from the Lord, with all the prayers. If not, dun tink i can move so quickly. :) Can get a little scary sometimes when emailing or wirting stuff, will tink of typing/writing d khmer words.
Sok Mean gave me a little heart which says Just for You on Sunday. So cute & so sweet. :) Chaya passed me foto we took tog. so nice of him to rem. Can still rem how he wanted the nice bkgrd behind us, then pose, then no negative!! hee hee. Received a little from .... yest. Very interesting letter. Shall end here. Tired already. :)
0916hr
Saturday, July 23, 2005
going thro the motions....
been v tired over d week. so how i lived was just going thro the motions... moving from point a to b, going thro some usual motions, den from b to c.... while going thro these motions, some of the things which happened:
1. realization tt national day hol (for two days) are ruined. last min informed tt pple like me hv to accompnay kids to some 'do your community some good' performance over the national day eve and the PH itself. like FULL day stuff tt ends at nite. consolation, at least my kids were quite enthusiatic abt tt stuff... so its like more worthwhile burning the two days. just irritated abt the 'seemingly-efficient' 'high and mighty ones' who can only arrow and deprive their bonded slaves of their rest so LAST MINUTE.
2. surprised tt despite being tired and running thro the motions, i'm able to during a class itself come up w something fun for kids (cos they really look like they need to be kept them alive and awake). the method itself i thot was effective and fun in teaching the drawing of diagrams. so... wow. not going thro the motions afterall - during that session.
3. my PE boss told me she's excited abt speaking to my P abt introducing diving as an enrichment so we might have something interesting to get into media. and could be pushing for like overseas trip - more than wat i had been asking for - just a discovery session. but alas... P's been too busy to speak to her, and this boss is leavig soon..
4a. juz witnessed an old pal's wedding today. happy for him. :) at the same time, met up w some old jc frens. was feeling anti-social at first. later, circumstance forced me to open up and engage in some small talk for a while. all was good.
4b. cannot stand wat the pastor was speaking during the exhortation. being insensitive, and i tink biblically unsound, he said... pple 'pi4 xu1' (MUST/NEED TO) find a second half, pple 'pi4 xu1' leave parents and start a new family... com'on. its good for that to happen and i truly believe that. but doesn't mean if that doesn't happen it makes anyone incomplete. Apostle Paul spoke abt how if u dun hv the 'need/urge' to engage in this sortof commitment, den its better u stay that way to serve GOd better. everytime he went into the 'pi4 xu1' i just turned to my fren and gave her the... 'i'm so walking out of here' expression and we laughed. lol.
also... wat kind of analogy is 'marriage is like coffee. when u order coffee from coffee shop, u dun tell the person i wan coffee with sugar and milk. it comes with it. marriage of two persons is like the 'coffee with sugar and milk.. they are integrated together.'...... ...... ....... ...... lol
5. finally got my hands on starwars!!! AH HA HA HA. am gonna watch that soon. :)
6. another boo boo happened. but i cannot be bothered to expound on it.
7. brought gals sailing. a little disappointed i cldn't join them for the 7-session course cos of another project in aug. but had a really good time interacting with them during the process.
8. had a terrible dream tt kept me tired. i dreamt i was working til like 4am. and i was like... oh no have to get up at 5am, must try to work faster so i can sleep. and i finished my work at 4.45am. only 15 mins to sleep before getting up for school. it was then i woke up. as in really wake up. but the feeling is... i hvn't slept a wink, because the dream was so real. humbug.
meanwhile, i'm gonna go snooze n go for jazz by the beach tonite. FINALLY! :) still going thro the motions a bit...
1. realization tt national day hol (for two days) are ruined. last min informed tt pple like me hv to accompnay kids to some 'do your community some good' performance over the national day eve and the PH itself. like FULL day stuff tt ends at nite. consolation, at least my kids were quite enthusiatic abt tt stuff... so its like more worthwhile burning the two days. just irritated abt the 'seemingly-efficient' 'high and mighty ones' who can only arrow and deprive their bonded slaves of their rest so LAST MINUTE.
2. surprised tt despite being tired and running thro the motions, i'm able to during a class itself come up w something fun for kids (cos they really look like they need to be kept them alive and awake). the method itself i thot was effective and fun in teaching the drawing of diagrams. so... wow. not going thro the motions afterall - during that session.
3. my PE boss told me she's excited abt speaking to my P abt introducing diving as an enrichment so we might have something interesting to get into media. and could be pushing for like overseas trip - more than wat i had been asking for - just a discovery session. but alas... P's been too busy to speak to her, and this boss is leavig soon..
4a. juz witnessed an old pal's wedding today. happy for him. :) at the same time, met up w some old jc frens. was feeling anti-social at first. later, circumstance forced me to open up and engage in some small talk for a while. all was good.
4b. cannot stand wat the pastor was speaking during the exhortation. being insensitive, and i tink biblically unsound, he said... pple 'pi4 xu1' (MUST/NEED TO) find a second half, pple 'pi4 xu1' leave parents and start a new family... com'on. its good for that to happen and i truly believe that. but doesn't mean if that doesn't happen it makes anyone incomplete. Apostle Paul spoke abt how if u dun hv the 'need/urge' to engage in this sortof commitment, den its better u stay that way to serve GOd better. everytime he went into the 'pi4 xu1' i just turned to my fren and gave her the... 'i'm so walking out of here' expression and we laughed. lol.
also... wat kind of analogy is 'marriage is like coffee. when u order coffee from coffee shop, u dun tell the person i wan coffee with sugar and milk. it comes with it. marriage of two persons is like the 'coffee with sugar and milk.. they are integrated together.'...... ...... ....... ...... lol
5. finally got my hands on starwars!!! AH HA HA HA. am gonna watch that soon. :)
6. another boo boo happened. but i cannot be bothered to expound on it.
7. brought gals sailing. a little disappointed i cldn't join them for the 7-session course cos of another project in aug. but had a really good time interacting with them during the process.
8. had a terrible dream tt kept me tired. i dreamt i was working til like 4am. and i was like... oh no have to get up at 5am, must try to work faster so i can sleep. and i finished my work at 4.45am. only 15 mins to sleep before getting up for school. it was then i woke up. as in really wake up. but the feeling is... i hvn't slept a wink, because the dream was so real. humbug.
meanwhile, i'm gonna go snooze n go for jazz by the beach tonite. FINALLY! :) still going thro the motions a bit...
Monday, July 18, 2005
caffienated giraffe
did not sleep last nite. because stupid me drank lodsa coke. bought 1.5l of coke on sat to satisfy my craving on fri nite. drank and darnk yest happily at nite, forgetting that... it... has.. loads... of... caffiene.
frustrating day. handling 'very-concerned' parent who doesn't consider the bigger picture, brining the matter up to my P and VP. so wasted time handling something which, cld be settled in a much shorter time if she had called me direct instead.
racial harmony day celebration in sch today. so i wore my sarong kebaya. FINALLY. so i've donned punjabi, cheongsam, sari, and sarong kebaya oredi. just finding a chance to wear my vietnamese ao yai i tailor made 5 years ago before i become too fat for it. (its tailormade see..)
and i just BOOed again. got the date i'm sending my gals to do community performance wrong. like i kept thinking i told the lady its 28th, but she was expecting us on 21st. @#$#&*(@ yeah. tink i've just created a new verb in vocabulary for pple like me. BOO - (v) doing something really stupid without knowing until its almost too late, or simply too late. typically an action carried out by scatterbrains.
just wrote a super long letter to starhub expressing my disappointment with the provider. was like irritated but hopeful6 they cld do something abt my situation last tues. was damn pissed off yesterday. called them up today. had a nice chap on d fon, nice, but cant do anything to help my situation. so i just shot a nice long letter to feedback how they will be losing a customer (in two years lah, cos i'm stuck) because of how the situation was dealt with.
tis week is gonna be a long one in whcih i will leave work late everyday. didn't start off rested or prepared for this week. but watever, things are not rosy, but they are not bad. so just live on... anywayz, its just temproal. there are more impt things.
and oh yes J, there's like NO DETAILS. because we only exchanged a couple of smses. and tt's like so enough to turn me super duper off, with the exception that it makes an interesting conversation topic w my pals and we can all laugh at it. u need strange things like that in life. :) and of course, ana felt REALLY BAD about it. *laughs* tt otta teach her a lesson to try to do things like that. *chuckles*
*waiting for bedtime to crash*
frustrating day. handling 'very-concerned' parent who doesn't consider the bigger picture, brining the matter up to my P and VP. so wasted time handling something which, cld be settled in a much shorter time if she had called me direct instead.
racial harmony day celebration in sch today. so i wore my sarong kebaya. FINALLY. so i've donned punjabi, cheongsam, sari, and sarong kebaya oredi. just finding a chance to wear my vietnamese ao yai i tailor made 5 years ago before i become too fat for it. (its tailormade see..)
and i just BOOed again. got the date i'm sending my gals to do community performance wrong. like i kept thinking i told the lady its 28th, but she was expecting us on 21st. @#$#&*(@ yeah. tink i've just created a new verb in vocabulary for pple like me. BOO - (v) doing something really stupid without knowing until its almost too late, or simply too late. typically an action carried out by scatterbrains.
just wrote a super long letter to starhub expressing my disappointment with the provider. was like irritated but hopeful6 they cld do something abt my situation last tues. was damn pissed off yesterday. called them up today. had a nice chap on d fon, nice, but cant do anything to help my situation. so i just shot a nice long letter to feedback how they will be losing a customer (in two years lah, cos i'm stuck) because of how the situation was dealt with.
tis week is gonna be a long one in whcih i will leave work late everyday. didn't start off rested or prepared for this week. but watever, things are not rosy, but they are not bad. so just live on... anywayz, its just temproal. there are more impt things.
and oh yes J, there's like NO DETAILS. because we only exchanged a couple of smses. and tt's like so enough to turn me super duper off, with the exception that it makes an interesting conversation topic w my pals and we can all laugh at it. u need strange things like that in life. :) and of course, ana felt REALLY BAD about it. *laughs* tt otta teach her a lesson to try to do things like that. *chuckles*
*waiting for bedtime to crash*
Saturday, July 16, 2005
always look on the bright siiide of life... *whistle*
spent the ENTIRE day on course on a Saturday.
music course. looking on the bright side of life:
- someone told me someone said tt i'm hot. ah ha ha.
- i was on a super 'winning' streak. one of the activities - bingo. i had like a double bingo! and then, i 'won' a music activity book during a session from a 'lucky draw'. LN cldn't believe his luck, sitting beside me and watching me win all the stuff. *laughs*
well... but missed jazz by the beach. :( after a lot of 'misses' of pple who agreed to go w me, but pulled out like... one a week ago, another one two days ago, another one just today. was too tired to go alone. may try that next week.
meanwhile something REALLY interesting. Ana tried to hook me up like with her fren's son sort of thing. it hilarious. but i agreed to let her for the fun of it (more for HER fun cos she's been bugging me real long). i mean, absolutely NO OBLIGATIONS and no harm done. but this guy.. man he's a weirdo!! like among his first few sms-es were like... "are you a catholic?"; "did anyone mention to you that i'm a 'pious' catholic?"; "which church are you from?" MY GOSH!! U THINK WAT? I WAN TO MARRY YOU!?!? like or... I HAVE TO BE MS PERFECT? oh.. MS GODLY to be a fren? i mean... i understd when pple are concerned abt religion. hey i am too! but i dun go round telling pple i'm a 'staunch' christian and am only interested in like.. holy pple? wat is this? some holy moley thing? SPARE ME! BUT its really worth a laugh. :)
anywayz, sailing is struck off my list now because of other work commitments. so... not too bad. maybe i can finally slowly lose my tan before i get another one end of the year. :)
and cheers to all the weird, unattached pple.. and the hot ;) unattached pple... LOL.... sorriez... still amused. *chuckles*
music course. looking on the bright side of life:
- someone told me someone said tt i'm hot. ah ha ha.
- i was on a super 'winning' streak. one of the activities - bingo. i had like a double bingo! and then, i 'won' a music activity book during a session from a 'lucky draw'. LN cldn't believe his luck, sitting beside me and watching me win all the stuff. *laughs*
well... but missed jazz by the beach. :( after a lot of 'misses' of pple who agreed to go w me, but pulled out like... one a week ago, another one two days ago, another one just today. was too tired to go alone. may try that next week.
meanwhile something REALLY interesting. Ana tried to hook me up like with her fren's son sort of thing. it hilarious. but i agreed to let her for the fun of it (more for HER fun cos she's been bugging me real long). i mean, absolutely NO OBLIGATIONS and no harm done. but this guy.. man he's a weirdo!! like among his first few sms-es were like... "are you a catholic?"; "did anyone mention to you that i'm a 'pious' catholic?"; "which church are you from?" MY GOSH!! U THINK WAT? I WAN TO MARRY YOU!?!? like or... I HAVE TO BE MS PERFECT? oh.. MS GODLY to be a fren? i mean... i understd when pple are concerned abt religion. hey i am too! but i dun go round telling pple i'm a 'staunch' christian and am only interested in like.. holy pple? wat is this? some holy moley thing? SPARE ME! BUT its really worth a laugh. :)
anywayz, sailing is struck off my list now because of other work commitments. so... not too bad. maybe i can finally slowly lose my tan before i get another one end of the year. :)
and cheers to all the weird, unattached pple.. and the hot ;) unattached pple... LOL.... sorriez... still amused. *chuckles*
Friday, July 15, 2005
happy auntie giraffe
after a long week, and long day today, i've called it quits and took a cab home as early as i could today. wat awaited me was something very pleasant.
BOTH my sisters and cutie nephews were home!!!! its the first time ever i see the two cuties together. first thing i did was to whip out the camera and started shooting them tog. heh. and i had fun w the elder one, who's only 1 year plus.
really nice.... :) but still exhausted. wld oredi b concuzzed an hour ago had it not been for those handsome boys... :)
BOTH my sisters and cutie nephews were home!!!! its the first time ever i see the two cuties together. first thing i did was to whip out the camera and started shooting them tog. heh. and i had fun w the elder one, who's only 1 year plus.
really nice.... :) but still exhausted. wld oredi b concuzzed an hour ago had it not been for those handsome boys... :)
Monday, July 11, 2005
At Looooooooong Last...
I went running!!!
It was the usual 3km run. But I took 3 minutes longer. Drats.
Den went to buy chocolate bar, wafers, choc chip cookies. Sadly, not for my consumption. Using it to teach weathering this week. Mua ha ha... how to teach weathering w that? Use ur imagination and try to guess. I might just pass u one choc chip cookie if u guess correctly. *laughs*
Hope i'll run again
It was the usual 3km run. But I took 3 minutes longer. Drats.
Den went to buy chocolate bar, wafers, choc chip cookies. Sadly, not for my consumption. Using it to teach weathering this week. Mua ha ha... how to teach weathering w that? Use ur imagination and try to guess. I might just pass u one choc chip cookie if u guess correctly. *laughs*
Hope i'll run again
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