Sunday, March 25, 2007

performing for the Most High

i had the honor of the Most High to be my audience yesterday, my sole audience.

as written for a couple of times already, one of my dream profession is to be a lounge pianist. and i noe that that doesn't mean i get to play my favorite pieces, or to pple who would really listen to the music...

yesterday, i realize, i had the full attention of the I AM as i played. it was as if i was on a stage, with spotlight shining from above onto the piano where I was playing... and i looked up... and i saw... the Most High looking down at me performing for Him, for Him alone... i have no idea what i was playing... what chord progressions i was playing, becaues it doesnt even matter to me anymore. but it must have been one of the most beautiful that had ever flowed out from my being...

i'm not sure... but i tink... other than His full attention, i tink He was also moved with me. Ok, more like He moved my heart. i tink He is pleased, and that He liked the music that flowed out.

Oh what honor.... to tink that i've missed this for all these years.... Oh such honor.... thank You Bapa.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

a reality check....

i thot i'd need to blog this, because of its significance. something tt i meant to blog a week ago when it occurred.

i thank God for the talent (or gift?) or music. pple ard me have expressed how much they like my music, or inspired to learn the piano, or impressed, or how they like my touch, etc. etc. Whilst one may think that I'm boasting here, I'm not. I'm just acknowledge the talent God has given me to invest, the gift He has given to me which i treasure a lot.

to think that i almost gave up music in my life about 3 years ago. when arrangement class in my teaching college which makes us 'dissect' an arrangement into parts and analyze the piece in a cognitive fashion, plus juggling stress in the new school environment... i wanted to just limit music in my life to "step into the classroom and teach quavers and crotchets'. of course, God's grace is sufficient. He sent ppl into my life to remind me tt it is a gift.

of late, my passion for music has been re-ignited, through the strangest means, only God can concoct. the reality check bit: while pple give me a lot of affirmation abt the music i play, after my piano tr knew how serious i was abt music, he told me in the most direct and undiplomatic fashion... 'you noe.. the way you play... is... ... very rough."

POW! that was like slap in my face. afterall, its been a long long time since someone has 'corrected' me on my music. but i really really appreciated the fact that finally, there's also someone who can teach me more... to be better. it took sometime to swallow that initial impact... but i'm glad i can improve.... :) in a sense, i guess the 'roughness' has to do with the fact that, i'm not the most 'comfy' or 'confident' in jazz, hence just whacking. like steven taught us 'if you are not sure, den play louder.' I guess not. lol. tis week, my tr says i'm not 'rough' anymore... but 'too careful'. lol. well, it takes time to get adjusted.

its time for a reality check... :)

Monday, February 26, 2007

Keeping the dream alive

Performer: Freiheit (1989)

Tonight the rain is falling
Full of memories, of people and places
and while the past is calling,
in my fantasy I remember their faces.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

I hear myself recalling,
things you said to me the night it all started.
And still the rain is falling,
makes me feel the way I felt when we parted.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
No need to hide, no need to run,
'cause all the answers come one by one.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
No need to hide, no need to run,
'cause all the answers come one by one.

The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

The game will never be over...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

What Is Education For?

A recommended reading for educators.

(An extract from Six myths about the foundations of modern education, and six new principles to replace them by David Orr, One of the articles in The Learning Revolution (IC#27) Winter 1991, Page 52 Copyright (c)1991, 1996 by Context Institute)

About:
We are accustomed to thinking of learning as good in and of itself. But as environmental educator David Orr reminds us, our education up till now has in some ways created a monster.

Extracts:

"...many things on which your future health and prosperity depend are in dire jeopardy: climate stability, the resilience and productivity of natural systems, the beauty of the natural world, and biological diversity. It is worth noting that this is not the work of ignorant people. It is, rather, largely the result of work by people with BAs, BSs, LLBs, MBAs, and PhDs."

Referring to the educated Germans and Holocaust:
"What was wrong with their education? In Wiesel's words: "It emphasized theories instead of values, concepts rather than human beings, abstraction rather than consciousness, answers instead of questions, ideology and efficiency rather than conscience."

"education is no guarantee of decency, prudence, or wisdom. More of the same kind of education will only compound our problems. This is not an argument for ignorance, but rather a statement that the worth of education must now be measured against the standards of decency and human survival - the issues now looming so large before us in the decade of the 1990s and beyond. It is not education that will save us, but education of a certain kind."

The six myths modern education's foundations are enshrined in:
1. ignorance is a solvable problem
2. with enough knowledge and technology we can manage planet Earth
3. knowledge is increasing and by implication human goodness
4. higher education is that we can adequately restore that which we have dismantled
5. the purpose of education is that of giving you the means for upward mobility and success
6. our culture represents the pinnacle of human achievement: we alone are modern, technological, and developed

Six principles to rethink education:
1. all education is environmental education
2. the concept of paideia: The goal of education is not mastery of subject matter, but of one's person
3. knowledge carries with it the responsibility to see that it is well used in the world
4. we cannot say that we know something until we understand the effects of this knowledge on real people and their communities
5. importance of "minute particulars" and the power of examples over words
6. the way learning occurs is as important as the content of particular courses

Full article can be found on "http://www.eart-h.com/text/educate.htm"

So the question now, is not "What is education?" Rather, it is "What is education for?"

How do we achieve the ideal? Can we? I always think we have fallen. As long as we are on earth, we can only do our best. I can only do my best as an educator. But how much can I really do? Can only take encourage from principle #5, the power of examples over words. Maybe only a few impacted, nonetheless, it begins from there.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

In The End, It's Worth It

School has been taking a toil on me. But by the grace of God, everything's under control.

For the past weeks... its been three key words circumscribing my life.
1. Waiting.
2. Test.
3. Faith.

All three intricably linked to each other. It aches to be waiting all the time. Often the question "Lord, what's going on?" surfaces, when I look at events. Its hard not to receive a direct answer, except, "Wait."

Waiting for the unknown. Waiting about my future. Wait.

SOmetimes, I fear that while waiting (for exactly what is to come I have absolutely no idea), I might just get distracted while I enjoy things I enjoy doing. Sat, a sis said something that made so much sense. Other than teaching us to trust Him while waiting, not revealing now, also means God wants us to focus on doing well what we are tasked with now. ANd when the next revelation is given, we don't have to fret about not being able to undertake the calling/task, or that we will not have desire/passion for that. Den, we will have them.

I've been put through an 'interesting' test that makes me keep looking upwards and asking 'Daddy, what in heaven are You up to? What kindof strange test is this? Its not the usual 'suffering' etc. What kind of test is this?' I asked HD the same question two nights ago. She told me "its a test for you to trust in God, and to trust in His timing". wow... Even if the test is 'weird', indeed.. it is to teach me to trust in Him.

Growing in faith is not a one-off thing. After this season of waiting, there will be more to come. And then, I bet I'll look up to heaven and ask "Urm, now what?"

But one thing I know... as these phrases I've read from rhema aptly puts it "God orchestrated the whole thing" and "And the reason is simple: God knows that somewhere down the line He'll be able to use all that painful stuff to bring your life into focus and accomplish His purposes. With God it's never too late!"

So, its waiting again. It doesn't feel the most comfy... it aches... but its sweet too... to look to Him each time and to know that He's in charge, to know that I'm sitting in His presence, to know that He knows and He loves and He cares....

God intended it for good. - Genesis 50:20 NIV

Oh, btw, update about my jazz endeavors. Went for two sessions. Been practising my piano almost daily (this haven't happened since 10 yrs back after I completed my Grade 8!) Learnt "Dream a little dream of me" and working on "The way you look tonight". Still pretty clueless. Hehz

Monday, January 22, 2007

my personal collection..

today, i happen to talk to my bro EG and realized tt he likes jazz too, so tt boy was just asking abt my collection... so it might seem like i'm really free to type out my collection.. but hey, why not... keeping stock too (well, those I can find...).. ha ha... hard to classify some of them.. but i'll try... so here's for you bro...

Jazz
Jazz Moods (Disc 1 & 2) --> MY FIRST JAZZ CDS!
The Black Box Jazz (Disc 1 - 4)
Pure Bossa Nova
Jazz in the City 2 (Disc 1 & 2)
Pink Champagne (Disc 1 & 2)
Sympathique - Pink Martini
The Prewar Vocal Jazz Sotry (Disc 1 & 2) - Best of Jazz Records
A Declaration of Love with Jazz
Mystery Lady (Songs of Billie Holiday) - Etta James
Duke Ellington - 1952 - 1960 - Columbia Jazz
The Best of Earl Klugh
Here's to You, Charlie Borwn: 50 Great Years! - David Benoit
More Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps (Disc 1 & 2)
My Girl Josephine - Fat Domino
SaxEmble
The Fantasy Band
A Smooth Jazz Christmas - Dave Koz & Friends
Christmas Memories


World/Ethnic/Fusion/Lounge/Chill
Indian Dream (World Peace through World Music) - Emam & Friends
Bombay Lounge
Heritage (Folk Melodies of India)
West Meets East: The Historic Shankar/Menuhin Sessions - Ravi Shankar / Sir Yehudi Menuhin
Himalayan Melodies of Nepal (Sarangi) - Gaurab Music
Folk Roots - Kutumba (Nepali)
Gending-Gending Instrumental (Indonesian)
Instrumental Campursari Karya Legendaris (Indonesian)
Songs to Remember (A Jazzy Experience) - SMOMA
Making Music - Zakir Hussain
Putumayo Presents: Euro Lounge
Tantra Lounge Exotice Indian Electronica
Cocktail Nights 3 (Poolside Vibe)
Exotic Moods (Chill Out Sessions from the Far East)
- CD1 - The Mystical Lounge
- CD2 - The Sunset Lounge
- CD3 - The Late Night Lounge
Dream - Buddha Bar III
Joy - Buddha Bar III
Dancing with the Lion - Andreas Vollenweider



Christian
Worship Sampler 2 - Christ for the Nations Institute
Chosen from the Nations - Live worship from Stoneleigh International Bible Week 2000
Shout to the Lord 2000 - Hillsongs
Touching Heaven Changing Earth - Hillsongs
For All You've Done (Disc 1 & 2)- Hillsongs
Hope (Disc 1 & 2) - Hillsongs
Blessed - Hillsongs
Ultimate - Hillsongs
Worship - Michael W Smith
Rescue (Live Worship) - Newsong
Jerusalem Arise - Paul Wilbur
Lion Of Judah - Paul Wilbur
Shalom Jerusalem - Paul Wilbur
Lounge Worship 2
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever (Disc 1 & 2) - Worship togethercom
Our God Reigns - Bob Kilpatrick & Friends
Winds of Worship 7 - Vineyard Music
Now Is The Time: Live At Willow Creek, Chicago, U.S.A. - Delirious
I Will Sing - Don Moen
Unspeakable Joy IV
Christian Love Songs (Piano Solos) - David Hamilton
I Love You Lord/Instrumental Praise (Violin and Oboe with Full Orchestra)
Heavenly Melody Instrumental 3 - ORTV
Decide - Freedom House
Still on the Journey - Sweet Honey in the Rock



Others
All-Time Greatest Movies Instrumentals (Disc 1 - 3)
Golden Greats: Golden Songs from Stage and Screen (Disc 1 - 3) - Frank Sinatra
Les Misérables (Disc 1 & 2)
Moulin Rouge
Maksim the piano player
Super Hits 1993 - 2003 (Disc 1 & 2)
Talk on Corners (Disc 1 & 2) - The Corrs
Borrowed Heavens - The Corrs
Non-stop Christmas Disco Medley
24 Disney Christmas Favorites
Carols by Candlelight
THe Little Drummer Boy
The Golden Collection of Richard Clayderman
Tchaikovsky the Masterpieces
Singing in English Can be Fun
singapore '98 festival of songs

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

inspired... by my kids....



i rem starting off the year (not too long ago still) wishing to be inspired so that i can be an inspiration for my kids...

it hasn't been an easy start. i rem being totally upset on the first day of school, being thrown an unexpected piece of news of having to teach two new levels (the very next day), and not having a most conducive physically environment to conduct my teaching... it upsetted me because, out of the little time left after all the other extra responsilibities, i really wanted to teach. to inspire learning. and i wasn't able to do that properly (at that point of time). for that day, i wanted to give up teaching. i wanted to move on, since i thot i cldn't even do the minimum.

things hv settled for the better. donch hv the most conducive environment, but its good enuff. someone told me on day 1, 'use ur personality to teach'. cant do that for long. :) but things have settled. but i wasn't too inspired thereafter.

along the way however, while expecting other sources of inspiration, God brought along another source of inspiration i did not expect. my very own kids i taught last year, my geog students and my form class.

i got a note from a gal i taught last year and carried out a crazy field project with. it was stressful but fun. she said they only expressed their gratitude now, because they were afraid of being taught of as 'buttering up' to me last year. for the hard work i put in, i taught i've wasted my time. but now, i realized, truly the gals learnt and were inspired.

got other gal who smsed me saying the class missed me. some other gals asked me couple of times why i wasn't teaching them anymore.

this morn, my very own ex-form class... with one of a very interesting gal, who told my colleague that she missed me. later when i met her and another ex-form class student, they both told me in the usual 'i-talk-to-you-like-i-don't-care-if-you-are-my-teacher' manner that, they knew that although i scolded them often, i cared for them. lol. they rem my scoldings. *smile*

this is not a 'i'm here to feel good and think that i'm good' entry. but its just a testimony of how God reveals Himself to me, and how He uses me to touch lives. Sometimes (esp last year) when I read inspirational quotes on how teachers touch lives without knowing, i balk and went 'yeah right, whatever'. today, i still have the 'yeah, right, watever' attitude towards that. nonetheless, i've been encouraged by these students who intentionally or unintentionally, inspired me to go on, to impart the passion for life, and to see the world in a different light.

i will go on.... with Christ....

Saturday, January 13, 2007

jazz jazz jazz....

i've finally signed up for my jazz classes! :) Been getting contacts and called up a few places/pple. It wasn't as easy as i thot it wld be. the music schs dun hv evening slots. All taken up. Was going to do it with a more 'pro' and costly teacher (which I only intend to get at later stage), until this morn, out of the blue, i read yest's Life! section and saw a 'dodgey' music school i've neva heard before. checked outthe website and called up to check who the teachers are. pretty decent. and they've got decent evening slots for me!

so made my way down to register. and i'm starting class THIS THURSDAY!! really really excited. apparently my teacher-to-be played for some reputable hotels for many years. so, i'm really really excited!! :)

was at jazz@southbridge yest w AO. planned to go to blujazz cafe. but there weren't enuff seats during to drizzle. but i was glad i was at j@SB. cos they will be moving downstairs on mon, with dining facilities and all. but... that feel... that i have for j@SB since yonds ago... will no longer be there... so i'm glad to be there for the last time, the way its been.

ok... i've been talking a lot abt jazz these while. (but tt's cos... its something exciting i'm embarking on!!) what other good things hv happened?
1. my pc's cd-player is working!! thanks for CL for putting a new cd-reader (watever u call it) into my pc. so now, i can start ripping all the new cds i've bought over the past few mths and enjoy them on my pc and my ipod! hurray!
2. wld like to tink my guit skills hv improved. foudn a kewl set of guit chords w pretty nice voicings online. thnx to LY for the guit. its so accessible now! :) dun tink i shld get a guit casing. cos tt'll make reaching for it less 'easy' and i might not fiddle w it as oft. hehz.
3. new timetable. which is 'interesting'. used to end lessons at 4.10. followed by meetings. now i dun end at 4.10 anymore. which is GREAT! and tues, i only hv ONE period that starts at 2pm. lol. can i sleep in? but of course have to pay the price on thurs n fri when i have 8 - 40mins periods. but i'm not complaining.
4. my form class. poles apart from 06 form class. i'm not saying it was bad last year. but it was really really draining last year. i've learnt much and i'm thankful. its nice to have a change for some recharging at the same time too.

had loads of meetings the past 2 wks since sch started. norm time of reaching home... sevenish (and tt's cos i take cabs home). after the meetings, also noe there are A LOT of things ahead. but i'm leaving a period at a time (not even a day at a time anymore). am still tinking of taking the reefcheck refresher course (over five weeks and two weekend dives) and kairos course. ha. i'm ambitious. but one period at a time.... :P

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

til we meet again, stvn, HC and family...

just came back from the airport. sent stvn, HC and family off. migrating to melbourne. over the past two years, they have shown me so much love in practical ways. stvn's commitment to the worship team and his heart for worship will be something i'll always rem. God has called them away for His purpose.

its difficult to let go, of these people whom I've gotten to noe and work with in His kingdom. but i thank GOd for their season in sg, the season we've all spent tog.

til we meet again, may the Lord bless and keep you, stvn, HC and your two princesses...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

dream... dream... dream....

yest... was at Balaclava w Stvn, PJ n TS... and one of the songs was on living out ur dreams... life is so short... and i'm glad i hv my dreams, my dream jobs... and so here they are:

1. travel journalist
which i obviously cant make it owing to a lack of vocabulary and poor grammar structure, etc. get the pic?

2. humanitarian aid worker / community devt co-ord / teaching in a developing country / the like (not in sg)
i suppose its not time yet.

3. lounge pianist
i'm taking up the first step. i just spent a like 80 bucks on a fake book! intending to take up jazz lessons. got some contacts. BUT i realize, to take the first step to CALL UP to enquire can be quite daunting. because that's really putting in the first step and committing somewhat! because, i'll be talking to a real person abt it! so... hvn't gathered enough courage to dial the numbers yet.. soon... soon... i aim to do it by next weekend.

4. flight attendant
i just realized tt the cut off age has increased! which means I'm still eligible! if i cant be a travelogue writer and travel for free, this comes the closest? :P

Anywayz, I'm really really excited that I have actually chosen to pursue one of my dreams a little more seriously. Nevermind if I don't really get to be a lounge pianist. BUt for a long while, I'm finally working on something I really really wanna do. :)

Meanwhile, its keeping my focus on God... and praying for wisdom and grace that I might be an inspiration. Am hardly inspired by thephysical things happening around me. WIll need supernatural inspiration. :)

dream... dream... dream....

living out my dreams... bit by bit...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

2007 - A new year of adventures and possibilities!

2006 has been a very fruitful year. Just the month of Dec has been POW for me. And I'm really thankful to my Abba for growing me. Even as I was reflecting while journalling en route to Delhi, I realized how He has been growing me, showing me more of Him, drawing me to a more intimate relationship with Him over the year to prepare me for greater things ahead, in this new year. What? I hv no idea yet.

So wats been up for the past month, and what for 2007?

For the couple of days i'm in town while not in Indonesia/India, been hanging out a lot w the kalimantan troopers. hehz. It was great fellowship. Been hanging out real late, even for the past few nights (movie marathon @ leez, crashed jd's party, watchnight svs), so really dunno how i'm gonna wake up early tmrw onwards!

Saw the sch calendar for next yr. Really dunno how i'm gonna survive, w the new tasks added onto my plate as well. PLus the stuff tt i'm considering taking up (ref below). But I'm really gonna trust in Him for the strength cos I noe, there are more things to come, and growing in faith does come w stretching. Not gonna be easy, but i'm gonna trust.

So, what are some stuff tt i'd like to do for 2007?
1. my bond's ending in july! opens up every possibility. i'm leaving everything open. perhaps conti teaching. perhaps take time off to wk in some other cty. i dunno. only God noes.

2. kairos course. its 'suicidal' to take up this course. takes plce in mar/apr, when i'll be crazy prepg for syf and the concert. but... i shall trust...

3. jazz piano! JJ really inspired me to take it up. as previously mentioned, one of my dream ambitions is to be a lounge pianist. but neva thot i was gd enuff. (still dun tink so). but sometimes, i do hv to work on something, something I'm really interested in and not just brush it asie simply because of my own inadequacies. So it shall be my new next challenge (after diving) for next yr! But for now, i need to find a teacher. Any contacts anyone?

2007, a new yr of adventures w Him. :) Its not gonna b smoooth sailing, but it'll b good. thank You Daddy. :)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Day 7 - and still counting

India has been incredulous!If anyone asks me how my trip was, I wldn't even noe where to begin! It is definitely not the place for the faint-hearted, if you decide to do it the 'free and easy, on your own' style.


This is really not a chill vacation. Imight probably return more exhuasted than when I left. Here, its so stimuating. Everything on the street is demanding my attention. The colors, the sounds, the movements, the contrasts of wealth and diversity of things happening... Physically, I've been on the move. Mentally, I've been challenged. Need to start to sl owdown (which is almost imposible here).

For the past 4 days, we spent 2 days with BJ and her family. So for a while,my guard was down. It was n ice to be around people you can trust. I take back what I said inmy earlier entrythat India's nottoo bad a place in terms of safety. One really h a s to be on his toes all the time. No wonder BJ's family(locals) were worried for us to be on our own. Pple are out for your money and physically ifthey can. After all the encounters, my mantra for this trip is "Trust no one". One really dunno whlo's sincere and who's not.

We went to Agra to se the taj mahal o n fri only torealise thta its closed. The red fort was closed too by the tim ewe reached the place. SO,for 4 hrs of traqvelling to Agra from Delhi, we did not see wat we expect4ed tosee. In any case, we will be taking a 6 hrs drive to agra againtmrw from jaipul the crazytown i'm in now to spend ourchrimstasthere.

Yest, we arrivedat Jaipul. If anyone thinks that Delhi is bad, Delhi's only an ORIENTATION to INCREDIBLE India! It wascrazy. horse carraiges, camel carts, rickshaws, tuktuks, minivans, buses of al assortments, bikes, death-defying pedestrains (we have joinedthe ranks), bicycles, etc all on the same street! Of course, tere are a million things going on atthe same time... guys trying to entice you (harass actually, iwas physically harrased by a 5 yr old boy! til i gave him a loujd 'hey' followed by a teacher-stare), guys using the 'public bathrooms - a.k.a walls', vendors peddilng ALL SORTS of goods (brushes, metal utensils, bags , spices, jewelry, shoes, etc.), pple making candies, touts trying to sell their ware etc.. all going on simultaneously. If Kalimantan was surreal, this beats it all hands -down.
Well, I'velearnt much. Its just hard to imagine whn I'm back in the classroom treaching, these scenes still exist constantly here. I ask God where is my place in this crazy world (not India per se) and just wait and see. :)

Meanwhile, will be traveli ng back to Agra tmrw to seethe Taj Mahal and the Red Fort. Its prettykewl. Taj Mahal either on CHristmas or my bday. Den it'll be back to Delhi and then home.

I do look forward to home just as much as i find India fascinating. One has to move on... in order for more 'adventures' to come. Asking the Lord for new inspiration in teaching, so taht I can hopefully inspire my kids too. :)

Signing off for now... Apologies f or bad typing. Keys are stiff, and the spacebar is constantly stuck. *laughs* That's what I call 'character'. Afterall, I'm in India. ;)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

day 3 - and still more adventures...

Ok. Today, my blog entry will have less typo-errors, as I've finally secured a proper internet place, with an hour to use, unlike the previous nights.

Prior to my trip, someone asked 'you are looking for adventures?' i replied 'no. i'm not going to go round looking for adventures, but if they come along the way, i'll ride on them.' actually, as long as we are on journey with God, life will be full of adventures! *chuckles*

today, JJ and i decided to spend the day venturing without a guide like yesterday. but while looking for breakfast, don't ask me how, but we ended up in the travel office again having breakfast! Of course, they tried to do hard selling for us to engage their services for today and the trip out of delhi. finally, we managed to 'break loose' from their persistence and went off on a motor-rickshaw (the equivalent to the tuk-tuk in thailand). First stop: National Museum.

We spent freaking 5 hours in the museum! We already spent a fair amt of time in other museums and memorials yesterday, so i told JJ, i love museums, but i tink its enough for the trip! :) There was much to see, archaelogy, musical instruments, buddhist arts, miniature paintings, etc. But there were so so so many paintings and statues of the hindu and buddhist gods, that i really ask God "Where are you in the lives of these people, who have crafted these, truly believing in the things that they are (re)"creating"."

But the ADVENTURE OF THE DAY occurs when we were finally leaving the museum. DUe to confusion that arose when we entered the musuem in the morn (there was a coachful of Chinese-Hk/Twnese entering the same time as us), we left our bags outside at the instruction of... i don't even know who - a worker from the museum or the grp's tour guide. When we left the museum, of course lah, our bags were no longer there. JJ and my cameras were in our bags as we couldn't bring them into the musuem. We got a 'reprimanding' from the lady security officer at the entrance when we tried to engage their assistance. So we got sent from one office to another. But the miracle was: WE GOT OUR BAGS BACK! Imagine: India, bags left OUTSIDE in public, for FIVE HOURS. ANywayz, we both prayed quietly throughout the entire process and truly, God protected us. It was quite an interesting adventure, not that i'll wanna go through it again. :)

Next stop was Dili Hardt. I have no idea where it was. Suggested by JJ's frens to visit. We took THE PUBLIC BUS!! Fare was really 'reasonably'-priced. And ride was... interesting. yo've read it before in guidebooks. crowded, mostly males... jst cramped. i stood like 'superman' with both arms forward and up holding on to whatever strucutre i could hold on for support. but unlike what the guidebooks said, we (female travelers) weren't really harassed physically in crowded bus. my bus driver quarrelled with some passengers right before me... so it was interesting...

Dili Hardt wasn't a touristy place. ended up in a wet market which was like WOW. fish, live poultry (including turkey!!), etc. Took a motor rickshaw to parhargarj, a backpacker's area ( i love this place!) , where i'm using the Internet at a cheaper rate now, and later I'll be going back to connaught later. less lively, but oh well, at least i've got accomodation.

Tomorrow, AG will be joining us. SO the dynamics is gonna change, but nonetheless fun! :)

As to the questions that i've been musing over yesterday:
How is Jesus different from the other gods or the philosophies that the 'wise/enlightened' offer?
1. Jesus is real, a historical figure. SOme religions are more 'mythology' and 'philosophy' rather than really based on history.
2. Jesus is Savior. No other religions/wise/enlightened men claims that they save.
3. Jesus is relational. We have a relationship with our Lord even to this day through the Spirit and in days to come. ONly in Him is there true hope and certainty of being in His presence for eternity.

SO, anywayz, even though i thought i was on a vacation to just chill, it hasn't been that simple. Its been pretty intense on my little brain, but God has chosen to reveal more of HImself to me, so that's realy kewl. Anywayz, my one hour is almost up. and I'd better go.....

THank you Daddy,Abba,Bapa!!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

day 2

i dun usually blog my trips so often. but.. india is just full of stuff.. if i dun.. i'll forget.

anywyz, more observtions:

1. india is not as chaotic as how ple imagined it to be. its not as dangerous as well.

2. where are the ladies? u see men everywhere.. and few women. yest, we went into a pastry shop and guess wat? there wasn't a SINGLE female in there. we were the only 2 females! today, we found out from our driver for the day that tt's cos 80% of workforce in delhi are men. tt explains.

Other things today:

1. felt how its like to be walking 'exhibits'. was at red fort. there was many school kids. some excursion. when they saw jj and i... they started looking at us.. talking and laffing/smiling. guess chinese gals are not usual there... so... as we walked on, we just et looks and sniggers and comments... at a point of time, the kids even started shaking our hands and say 'hello'.... like some weird things they wana rem for.

2. gandhi-fied... went to quite a few memorials and musuems on gandhi and his family. many thots... philosophical, intellectual and all... visit to a temple to. exhasuted with many questions in my mind.. lookng at these pple's 'realities', comparin gandhi and Christ, comparing the hindu god and Christ, comparing the social and economic disparities.... and at the end of all the qns, my main qns is: What is it that Christ has to offer that the other (relgions/gods/philosopies) do not offer?

Monday, December 18, 2006

Day 1 in New Delhi

Yes. I am finally in India! One of the countries I've always wanted to visit. Its hard to believe I'm here, and it takes some time to adjust because of the rush from church to packing to kalimantan debrief yest and early flight tis morn.

The time now in India is 7.06pm, 2.5 hrs behind sg. I begun my trip at 6.30am SGT after being awaken by my mom at 4.30am SGT, sleeing at 1am last night. So i'm pretty zonked out now. 5 hours 45 mins flight.

India's interesting. We are staying in a guest house at connaught area. Just spent the afternoon waiting.. to clear immigratio.... waiting... for pre-paid taxi. We are tahnkful to be able to find acomodatio, because that was our concern. We hvn't goten accommodation settled before we came. So thank pple who have prayed for us, ad God too.

Guys in delhi are quite 'frenly'. This silly guy at the airport counter. i went to buy a bottle of mineral water. he gave me change that's short of 100 rupee. So i told hi... and he said.. sorry.. not enuff sleep. i said.. its k. next thing... oh... u look very sweet... ca we be frens? OF COURSE NOT!

Discovered.. that along the streets in New Delhi, the walls are just... the gents. You ca just walk alog the street and see guys facing the walls.. and a foul smell.. gosh.

Being in Delhi is like... being immersed into a sea of pple. Pple pple pple everywhere. And vehicles... and none-stop honkings.... Pple are just vying for your attention.

We had KFC for dinner. The servins are smaller. Ad they dun cost much cheaper. We haven't foud the cheap places to eat yet. Hopfully will find those soon.

THere is no supermarket. We were directed to a place.. ad only found that there was a Shankar market... which is... nt a supermarket. THey have 'emporium' which is like our old emporiums back at home with many small shops. But nothing that resembles supermaket. There goes my snacks and chocolates.

Anywayz, those are just random ramblings. I'm slowly etting the hang of crossing the busy roads 'my way' like the road belongs to me. tmrw's gonna be an exciting day. gonna tour ard the city. tonight just gonna go chill, read, ad pray ... and experience the 'beauty of waiting'.

Friday, December 15, 2006

The beauty of waiting....

thank You Abba Father... even though its difficult... thank You.

Just Wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and You tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no', to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learnt of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
so I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.. for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said,"I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know wthat I give, and I save, for a start,
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late inot the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
from an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in teim you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late
My most precious answer of all is still... WAIT".

Friday, December 01, 2006

excited.....

we are finally going to kalimantan!
leaving in a while.
I'm excited that i dunno wat to blog now.
jitters....
EEKS!

But I'm sure God will teach us loads of things...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

my bones still grew at my age!

I shant disclose my age here. A bitta sensitive. *heks*

People know me as this talk gal with fairly long legs. (My mom always complain that I'm disproportionate, long legs, short body, but hey, I'm not complaining. ;)) But not many people know that my legs are (WERE!) of inequal lengths.

My left leg is an inch shorter than my right. I only realize that abt a decade ago. Those era, like to wear long boot-cut jeans. After a while, on my fav jeans, I noticed, that the left bottom of the jeans is frayed, but not the right side. And this is a repeated observation for my long pants and jeans. I don't have a scientific mind. But started wondering why. So came up with 'hypothesis'. NO lah. started thinking why. So I got my mom to measure my legs and true enuff, my left leg was shorter. Perhaps that's the reason why I walk with a bounce, to compensate this.

Anywayz, I've grown 'resigned' to this status. I mean, life functions as per normal rite? Only according to my physiotherapist, I might get backaches when I grow older. SO when I read abt Mk's 'adventures' in PHP, healing the sick, backaches, growing legs, etc. I'm like "God, that's not fair. WHy to the people in PHP but not me?" Inside me, I did not dare to ask actually. I fear 'rejection'. LIke quite malu... and like... maybe I don't hv enough faith. tt sort of thing.

Yesterday, God planted Mk and HD there for a purpose. At the end of tuesdies when HD and i were leaving, we saw Mk outside the room. He's preaching next wk (but we cant make it cos of the Kalimantan trip). So I just mentioned in passing that 'hey i've got a shorter leg'. I dunno y i did that. I wanted to be made 'whole'. but same thing, there was hesitation. Tt's y i said, God placed HD there.. who encouraged me... and was with me throughout.

It did not take sweat, or shouting, or repeated prayer. Mk just uttered a prayer.. and we waited.. and waited.. the process was so slow u cant see it, unless u tape it and fast fwd it. *laughs*. But IT HAPPENED! According to Mk, it was slow because my BONES ARE ACTUALLY GROWING! no. I din feel warmth... etc.. but it was just so simple. We were commenting on how we shld hv taken a before and after pic! *laughs*

Ask and it shall be given....
If the earthly father who is not perfect can give good gifts, how much more our Heavenly Father.

Its not 'spectacular'. But having experienced His goodness so tangibly... its just so different... He gave His word that He's going to grow me... He did, literally, physically. He's also grown me so much in other sense, which I'll blog abt later. Now going to prepare to go school to settle an... not too pleasant issue. But I believe He is with me and that He will settle it for me....

Praise be to God.

Fact vs Truth

Yest's sharing during tuesdies was abt Fact vs. Truth.

In short, Fact, is something that's tangible. You don't need faith to see fact. Fact can make us fear and withdraw.

Truth, on the other hand, it requires faith. Truth centers around the Jesus and His work on the cross.

"Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, 'You are truly My disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'.

It takes revelation from God to see the truth. It also takes time to wait upon the Lord and the step of faith. Focus on Jesus, and the truth will set us free.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Of dresses....

This is a very 'shallow' entry. lol. I did a major tidying up of my wardrobe today. Simply bursting to the seams. Yet, I still do not have enuff space. After tidying up... here are my clothes....





I have two of these drawers for stuff I wear at home...





Those in the ironing basket in which I cant fit into my wardrobe...





Another drawer of tshirts...





My main wardrobe. Do not be deceived... Those hanging there are so tight its very hard to put in or take out any clothes. And those folded ones, there's another set behind those in front...





THese are the remaining I really do not noe where to place. SO they are on my piano stool...
And these don't include a bag of woolen clothing and pants i'm placing behind my bedroom door... and those church youth camp tshirts i've collected over years at G's place. If she asks me to bring them home I'm dead.

And today... went to Leez's place to discuss trip class stuff... and ended up with another bag of clothes.... OOPS....

and of dressing up....

well... its sort of the vacations... so i'm more dressed up than usual whenever i go out. and i like dressing up (including sporty attire). it makes me feel happy.

i rem when i was going out w stv, my colleauges commented that i dress up more.. i was like 'rubbish. i've always dressed up like that... u were just not conscious abt it. i dress for myself. to make myself happy'. den they thot abt it and agreed...

after clearing my wardrobe... i realize... hey! i'd better wear even more of these stuff and experiment with them.

on the way for my meeting today, i was also thinking... my bond's ending. more footloose. no idea when God is gonna say 'ur time here is up. time to go to other places (where i cant dress fancifully like here)'. it could be any time from 6 mths later. makes me tink... I'd better make use of this time left to dress up as much as i wan!!! before i dun get to!!

and yeah. i take pride in it. i hv fun w it. oh yeah... i'm tinking of wearing another long skirt as a tube dress w a belt tmrw... lol. but den again, w the new additions... hmm... maybe i shld wear the short dress over jeans... hek hek hek... y do i hv a feeling i'll be late for svs tmrw? :P

and of being seen 'dressed up'

something shallow today happened that made me happy for a while.

i was at clementi. was gonna get some flowers for a sista. ended up stuck there for a while waiting for another fren. tt's another story.

as i was walking w the nice bunch of red roses (did i ever mention tt i love frowers?? lol), suddenly a taller!! lady ran towards me from the back.

taller lady: excuse me..
tall me: yes? (suspicious, like wat do u wan?)
taller lady: i'm korean..
tall me: *tink* (ah..yah... so?)
taller lady: are you singaporean?
tall me: urm... yes...
now we are joined by a shorter lady.
shorter lady: (something like that, cannot rem details) oh... we are from korea and we just had an event that uses models. so we saw that you are very tall.. and was tinking next time when we have another event we can contact you?
tall me: i'm not that tall (in the modelling line, i'm short lor)
taller lady: how tall are you?
tall me: 1.72m
taller lady: oh.. u look tall
tall me: urm.. cos i'm wearing these *shows wedges*
taller lady: how old are you?
tall me: *revealed my age* (all women wat.. so its ok)
taller lday: you look young
tall me: THANK YOU! *grinning from ear to ear*

so anywayz, i did leave my contact. real a not i dun care. tt's just life. but it made me happier in a shallow manner for a while. lol

the last time someone appraoched me was couple of mths ago in town. was w stv then. well, but tt sort, we suspect is want you to just go, pay a sum of money for a portfolio tt sorta thing. anywayz, i din get to talk that time cos stv did all the talking. so basically he just told them we'll contact them if we wan to, leaving me to tink at the side 'hello??? she's asking me?? u neva even ask my opinion?!?!' but its ok... den i can accept it... life's like that...

the last last time.. was even further ago... was like... before i went to cambodia, so that was 1999? 2000?

well.... 'perks' of being tall...

today's entries are totally shallow and bimbotic. but its ok. doesn't hurt... one day i'll look back at these entries and laff... tt's more impt... ke ke ke....

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Preparation for the trip has been painful...

literally.....

we had been meeting over the past two weekends for dance practices. Last week, we had two sessons on worship and this week, I had three sessions. One to accompany HD for the dance worship as she's missed the previous weekend, and two to learn the hip-hop piece.

For the two weeks, moving around has been a series of 'ow...'s, 'aw...s'. Sitting down... ouch... moving down the stairs/steps... yeouch.... In short, my thighs feel like a ton of lead. Ended up with bruised knees, back, and 'tail-bone'. I even had a swell at the side of my spine... Blame it on my not-so-proportionate skeletal structure.

Meanwhile, my wardrobe also suffered a casualty. My white cotton pants splitted while I was doing the hip hop practice. How pathetic. Hek.

ALl in all, it was quite 'successful', for someone like me who can't differentiate between the left and the right. Cognitively, yes. But there's just a shortage of nerves that connects this to my body. The signals just don't get sent. My instructor laughs at me, but its alright. Its all kewl.

Meanwhile, am reading the book 'The Air I Breathe' about worship. We might be working on the theme of heart of worship in one of the bible classes. We'll see....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

XT's journey with Abba, Jesus, Friend

I had to prepare a testimony for my trip to Kalimantan. I've been procrastinating like crazy. Just like the work review, I don't sit down and get it down til its the night before the deadline. Or the day itself. *laughs* Kindof long. Well, we are told to prepared for 5 - 10 mins! So here it is....

Hello there. My name is Sheryl. Meaning ‘beloved’. I am going to share with you my journey with the One who calls me His beloved. Its not spectacular, but its beautiful. I will begin with the hymn titled “Blessed Assurance” that pretty much sums up the love story that I’m going to share with you.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

I grew up in a Christian family. In other words, my parents are Christians and I went to church every week without fail as a child. There, I learnt about God. I learnt about Jesus. I learnt about the bible, the stories in the bible, pretty much what you do when you come to the training center.

Jesus has been a Friend to me as early as I can remember. He sits by my bed each night, and I talk to Him. I knew He is God. And the BIGGEST and the MIGHTIEST Person in the world. I trusted Him, even when my relationship with Him was so elementary.

Two incidents as a child I remembered clearly. Once, at the age of less than 8, one of my eye started swelling. It was in the night. In those days, clinics close early. My father did not earn much. We couldn’t afford to have a house call, unless it was really serious. It could be an allergy. But as a child, I knew not what was going on, except for the discomfort, and possibility that I could go blind. Well, I was a kid! As I laid on the bed in the dark, I spoke to God. That’s called praying. So I started talking to Jesus. I told Him, God, I know You are Almighty. You are Healer. You can raise the dead. Jesus, please make my eyes recover. And made my eyes recovered He did. The swell went down and I told my parents about my prayer. Jesus, Jehovah Rapha. He showed me He is the Healer.

Another time, my mom dropped a small part of her earring just as we were leaving for a dinner. It was a very small piece and hard to locate. She quickly engaged the help of her little ones to look for it. As we searched and scrutinized the floor, I prayed to God. I said “Jesus, please open my eyes and illuminate Your light on what we are looking for”. In a while, I spotted the little piece, before my other siblings. I told my mom about it.

Some people might discount these as trivial, and of no significance. But it meant a lot to me as a child. In my faith journey, that is to continue over the years to come till today, and the days to come, till I breathe my last.

To be specific, those incidents happen even though I do not even know if I could be considered a ‘true blue saved Christian’. Being born in a Christian family, knowing the bible stories well, knowing the model answers to the ‘christian’ and biblical questions during Sunday School classes, going to church weekly, being the ‘model’ Sunday school kid, does not save me. It is having the relationship with God that matters. It is accepting Jesus Christ as the Savior and Lord of my life that matters. Just calling Him Savior does not suffice. He has called us to journey with Him in an intimate relationship to know Him as our Lover, to follow Him to be like Him, to be His disciples.

I ‘formally’ raised my hands to receive Jesus as my Savior and Lord at the age of 11 in a religious class in school. I continued to seek Him as much as possible. I can’t say daily, because we all fall behind at times (but He is faithful). Nothing much has changed. God is still God. I continued to journey with Him. Served Him in church and in school. Then at the age of about 18, God revealed to me something rather suddenly. (He likes to surprise us.) It was a revelation that: God is MY God, and not MY PARENTS’ God. For many years while walking with Him, I haven’t realized that He is MY God.

What am I getting at here?

Firstly, even when we are blind and not known Him as who He really is, He still cares for us. And if we seek, we will find. If we knock, He will open. If we ask, He will add. Before I ‘formally’ acknowledged Him, when I asked sincerely, He listens.

The second one applies to those who are brought up in a Christian family. Jesus is YOUR personal God. He cannot be your parents’ God. You have to know Him for yourself. The relationship has to be unique between you and Him and no one else. When you develop this relationship, you know what? You do not know when exactly you are saved. But, you are saved. Period. Its like when you start walking in the forest in the night. Its dark. Eventually, day time comes. Still, its dark because the canopy cuts out most of the light. You do not know when daylight starts. But you know that when you get out of the forest, there will be light. (Is this confusing? Lol)

The journey does not end when you know that you are saved. The journey has just begun. What is this journey about?

This is a journey of love, of faith and of revelation.

The journey is not smooth sailing. I don’t pray to Him every day in all the days. There were days I do not read the bible. There were days when He seemed far away. He was never far. But my heart could be distracted, grown cold. I could not feel Him. I could not hear Him. In those days, it was miserable. Why? The heart knows, that I cannot live without Him. I might try. I might try to do my things, things that give me pleasure for that moment. But I was miserable because I’ve turned away from Him. The heart missed the fellowship with the One its grown to love. Not something we might be able to feel. This ‘love’. But the heart was created to love Him.

So, how does this journey work for me? The basic people always say is: set aside time to pray to Him daily; set aside time to read His word daily; set aside time to listen to Him daily. Indeed.
It’s not just setting aside time. It is also as simple as keeping your mind and heart connected to Him by talking to Him wherever, whenever, whatever.
I wake up in the morning saying ‘Good morning Daddy’, whatever mood I’m in. I talk to Him on the bus. I talk to Him while waiting for the bus, even when I’ve missed it. I talk to Him in Singapore. I talk to Him when I’m on the mountains when I went to Nepal. I tell Him, its so BEAUTIFUL! I talk to Him when I go diving in the sea. I tell Him, its so AWESOME! You are so creative. I talk to Him when I’m here with You in Kalimantan. I ask Him, what do You want me to see? I talk to Him when I need Him. Wherever, whenever, whatever.

And this journey is beautiful. Because as you embark on it, keeping your mind and heart connected to Him, and to seek Him, He will show you more and more about Himself. In the first two incidents I spoke about earlier, He showed me that He is the Healer. He showed me that He is the Helper.

Just more incidents, big and small, He reveals more of who He is personally to me.

I remember when I was in Chiangmai in Thailand. I wandered into the outskirts of the main town looking for two museums on my last day there. When it was getting to late afternoon, I had to try to get back to the main town so that I could catch my train to another city Bangkok. But I could not get any vehicle to stop for me for quite some time. It was worrying! A single young gal, out in the suburb, who cannot speak the language, the sky darkening, it was potentially worrying. There was fear in me. As I walked in the direction leading towards the main town, I prayed in my heart. I asked Him for His protection and provision of a vehicle to bring me back. In a while, I managed to hail down a little taxi-truck. The driver only knew how to get to the main town. But he did not know how to go to the hostel that I wanted to go to. But he agreed to take me. And guess what? I did not even have to bargain for a low fare. He offered me a low fare! By the grace of God, and by turning the rudimentary map in all directions, we managed to get me back in time. He is God the Protector and Jehovah Jireh, God the Provider.

Another ‘incident’. I was in a relationship earlier this year. Throughout that season, He taught me not to just put my attention on the relationship or the guy, but to keep my eyes on Him. (See, when a lot of us young people get into a relationship, we lose our focus on God). Whenever I was disappointed with things that happened, I realized, hey, with Jesus, this can never happen because He is perfect. He is Jesus, the Perfect Lover.

The most recent revelation of His attribute that He is showing me is that He is the most Creative Artist at work. When I considered the ecosystem, how He has made things move in sync., when I considered out of NOTHING, He created the earth, human, this thing we called love, that we all can’t fuly comprehend, His Plan of redemption. Who would come up with these from NOTHING? And as I sat in His presence lately a couple of times, He tells me ‘Come, My beloved. Sit beside Me here. Look, look at what I am painting…’ And I see Him coloring on the canvas… Swipes of paint.. colors… So beautiful. He showed me that He’s coloring the world He has created, He’s coloring my life, and He’s coloring the lives of all His children, meaning each one of you…

This is my journey, and my love story with my Lord Jesus. He calls us to walk in a relationship with Him. He calls us to know Him.

I am thankful and amazed of how He calls me into this journey with Him. Its not always easy.  But I guarantee, it’s the most beautiful thing that can happen, because this is what He has created us for: To journey with Him, to know Him, to love Him, and through that, glorify Him.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long (Repeat)

All glory to Him. Amen.

sing over the nations....

I attended the worship session led by Bob Fitts yesterday, "Take My Healing to the Nations". It was fun time. The songs were so sweet and intimate. Pity I'm bad remembering melodies and lyrics. Yeah, I know. I'm a teacher, a Music teacher somemore. But I just cant't remember details. I just know that it was nice to just talk to God.

Worship is more than singing. Its a lifestyle we always say. To live a life wholly devoted to Christ. Worship, should lead to the desire to see all the nations, tribes and tongues bow before the Holy One in worship. Singing over the nations.... Exactly how? I'm not sure... SOmething to ponder about....

Meanwhile, I'm going w shrn later to shop for trackshoes and a pouch/haversack later at QW. Finally... a new pair of running shoes... *grins* Well, need to work out the testimonies by today actually.. but its just hard to get started.... argh....

Saturday, November 04, 2006

new 'routine' in my life...

i've always had the routine of ironing my clothes every sat morn. its usually an 1 - 1.5hr affair. So whenever i need my clothes, i can just wear them straight from the wardrobe. in other words, i can (mostly) leave my place at a short notice when necessary.

of late, the volume of clothes in my wardrobe just keeps on increasing... (i cant help it!)... until... its too packed (reason-not-excuse: my wardrobe is really small, for a gal). Its always been packed. But of late, its so packed that, whatever clothes i hang in, just gets crumpled.

after a week of having to re-iron my clothes before i leave my place, i've decided not to iron my clothes every sat anymore. i'll just decide wat i wanna wear... iron them... and wear them there and then...

The plus is.. i've got a new iron i'm still hving the novelty of using it. plus... sat's like... more relaxed. the minus... i tend to be late for my appointments now.. *laughs* not extremely late. but not punctual. well, it takes time for adjustments!

IN any case, thats just some thing tt has changed in my daily / weekly routine. most of rthe rest, pretty stays the same..

gallavanting giraffe....

been running ard w hosts of activities, which i'm not complaining...

start from last sat. played for a wedding in church. rushed down to town to meet sis n two nephews for lunch. rushed to bishan for a talk. hung out w EC to watch stupid moving Sinking of Japan. SHe says we can teach through misconceptions... my gawd.

sun... service. den a quick lunch w P. sat in some sisters' talk @ vivocity. bought a new iron there too. reached home 12am.

mon.. invigilation. went back to sch to take guit gals. ended up w some budget mess.. sheesh...

tues... went sch stupidly. den went tuesdies @ nite. finally i get to stay late for prayer. reached home 12nish.

wed...went sch for wk review meeting. who noes, my RO was too busy, in the end neva meet. SIGH. went home w headache. rested. den went for meeting for kalimantan prep. had supper. i finally had my HOKKIEN MEE!!

Thurs... went sch... went invigilation... went town to bring my frens from Thai ard @ clarke quay.

Fri... went bouna vista for a ceremony, which neva took place cos of my booboo again. went ana's shop. hung out. lunch, shopped a bit. went back. rested a bit. went to museum w fel n her amx colleague clarke, who was a little hassle. but.. well.. lets me nice... we den went to aisha's farewell party @ her plce. was nice. lez, dav, mtt, grt, grcie, culln were tehre. heard certain things tt weren't too pleasant, but i've moved on. so its fine.

sat.. later... will be bringing kids for perf. den going to haz's plce for makan. prob hanging out w my Thai frens n EC again.

tt sums up my week... i'm tired.... SOW.... argh...

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Musician's Prayer

God, please bless my music
That it might glorify Your name
May using it to serve You
Always be my aim.

Let it be a witness
To Your majesty and love,
And remind us that You're watching
From Your throne.

May others see Your beauty
In every note they hear,
And when they hear my music
May they feel Your presence near.

Oh Lord,I ask for guidance
In everything I do
And pray You'll make my music
An instrument for You.
Amen.

Ramona K. Cecil

Friday, October 20, 2006

kiss me honey honey kiss me....

Honey has been known for its healing properties for thousands of years - the Ancient Greeks used it, and so have many other peoples through the ages.
Even up to the second world war, honey was being used for its antibacterial properties in treating wounds...


(BBC News)

Other possible uses for honey I've learnt:
- helps alleviate diaheara and constipation (depends on temp of water)
- detoxifies disgestive system
- conditioning skin and hair
- soothes sore throat

I've been drinking loads of honey from Mon - Wed... WHy? Major loss of voice. My msn nick has been "tao-sa voice giraffe" and "sexy-voice giraffe" this week. *laughs* It was a mistake.... Halfway thro lunch one day, suddenly, maybe bathroom call... out of the blue.. den i realize.. must be the honey... AND worse...

Just yest, I looked into the mirror in the morn and *gasp* pimples! pimples! everywhere... over the day it got WORSE. even now... i was wondering y at first when SUDDENLY it DAWNED on me... its the DETOXIFYING property of honey... humbug..... i'm off honey today.... *grumbles*

Meanwhile, getting hooked on Camel Natural Cocktail Mix (Fribre Rich & No Salt Added, No cholestrol n Trans Fat free) and RollGold Pretezels... *grins*

Friday, October 13, 2006

Moonlighting...

This morn, for my sch's event, I had to do prelude with another gal. So was just whacking the piano. A little stressful, cos u noe... if u slip, pple might complain... and expectations from others are high (they seem to tink i'm really good)... so i just 'played safe', nothing too experimental.

got a lift from TBK to ard my place. she made an interesting comment. she asked me y i did not consider moonlighting and playing for lounges...

i was like 'do u noe one of my ambitions is to be a lounge pianist?!?! but sadly, i'm not quite up to standard. not enough training, exposure, experience and technical expertise'.

TBK was very encouraging. i was a little inspired... to go collate a few repetoires... but alas... other than the above factors, sg's mkt is too small to offer such opportunities.... maybe the day may come... perhaps... perhaps...

Meanwhile, i always let my frens noe (if u dunno, here's the announcement) that i can play for free for u guys/gals if u happen to wan a pianist for ur wedding @ the hotel during cocktail receptions. (urm... but dun expect pro stuff).

Ah ha ha... and tmrw, will b the sch dinner. haiz.. i hvn't gotten the selection of songs for the first dish, and the backgrd music yet.. sighz...

Other random events/thots:

- i realize i'm not as strong as i thot to be. moving on isn't tt easy. ana laffed at me when she read that comment on msn. she said we always think we are strong... but when its time... we realize we aint...

- went to watch the movie (some dupree show) w ag. it was farnie. we went little india b4 tt for threading and i got a new basket bag for myself ag promise to decorate for me. :) after the show, we popped by this fashion n i bought myself a haltor-like pokka dot dress.. retro baby...

- my other ambitions.. other than being a lounge pianist - journalist (which obvsiouly i cant make it.. check out my language) and humanitarian aid worker.

- i'd prob be going to kalimantan first 2 weeks of dec for a mission trip and india w ag n jj end of dec. nothing concrete yet. but planning.. AWESOME.

- jazz by the beach is back again... any one intersted for next and next next sat?

- humanities challenge.. is not even in a mess.. because we hvn't even gotten down to do the stuff.. and guess when it is? yeah.. MONDAY. freak.

- i'm fighting virus now...

- i'm thankful for all the pple ard me supporting me,... being there for me... ana, G, js, FL, ag, haz, shrn, ts, AO and all my msn khakis...

Friday, October 06, 2006

Imagine Me Without You - Jaci Velasquez

A song EC got for me - http://www.musicmorpher.com/music-store/imagine-me-without-you.htm

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

Thursday, October 05, 2006

it is over....

moving on in life again... its strange to call it a new season... but i've gotta move on. gonna be a little weird cos i've made adjustments in my life for the other person... given up some of my interest... no time for running.... SUDDENLY i hv all these time back.... not tt i dun hv things in wk to stress over.. a LOT... but still.... still need to find some reorientation....

moving on...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

get ur flags rite!!

some info snippet on Ch8, talking abt the children's day in other countries... when talking abt the countries' children's day, they showed the flags in the background.... jap... korea.... but when they were talking abt 'ge-lun-bi-ya', which sounds like columbia to me, they showed cambodia's flag.... wats going on? some QC pls....

Monday, September 18, 2006

freaking mobile bomb!

my mobile bills came up to almost seventy bucks! more than twice my usual amount! GOSH!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

sept hols

has been awesome.

dive trip was interesting. saw HUGE moray, HUGE turtle, cuttlefish squirt ink, nurse sharks, pretty nudibranches, HUGE bumpheads, set fish free from abandoned fish trap, got lost w buddy n did our safety stop the primitive manner going 'one thousand two thousand three thousand...' til 3 mins, played with curious nemo (one just kept coming towards me - my mask n let me play with it), long and cold night dive. i'm sure i saw more things but forgot. tis is the first time i dun really log my dives properly. as in the way i usually journal. maybe there're just too much i no longer rem the details. but tis trip, i noticed the different colors and textures of the corals more than usual. awesome.

once again, we had pretty good company. somehow we just stay @ the immigration for long periods of time. en route to tioman, at the immigration, one gal realized she brought her old expired passport. we waited 1.5 hrs @ the checkpoint for her to cab home for it. luckily someone brought uno. so we played it, tekaning mohammark @ the same time, who kept waiting to play intercept like a little boy. when coming back, got stuck again cos we had 2 jap gals doing their owd w us. due to the imf, security in checking the foreigners' passports was tighter. after we cleared immigration and customs, we actually waited 45 mins before they cleared.

all in all, it was a good trip. minus the rocky boat @ night (hard to sleep), and the COLD water. water was colder than usual, made every dive more tiring. tink body compensating the loss of heat. and made every dive something one must psych oneself up before taking the stride.

on mon, went to sis's place to play w nephews. fun. took DN out to ntuc to shop. he's so adorable in the stroller.

tues, went town to help sis get her cosmetics while bringing JS with us. He actually slept in my arms while waiting for the salesperson test out the stuff on my sis's face. kewl. we went for tea at cedele, and had great time talking. i had great fun, fellowship and counsel from my wise sis.

wed. went jb w haz. we basically shopped, chilled, feasted and splurged. i got a pair of wedges, 3 tops, a pair of three-quarter slacks and a bag. we ate and ate. hungry or not. but it was great great fun. :) supposed to stay over, but din come to pass cos we cldn't get the hotel we wanted.

thurs (today). met stv for lunch, show - singapore dreaming and jalan. show's not bad. quite sad actually, but v real. typical pressurizing life here. poor stv was pretty sick so yeah, now i'm home, resting as well.

tmrw.... work... will be bringing kids out for perf. hv to start preparing for next wk's work. sigh.. i wish the hols neva end. i wish i can dive and dive and dive and dive. lol. as usual, en route there, i wasn't excited. i thot i had lost interest in diving. but NOooo... now when i'm back.. ah ha ha ha.... i wanna go dive again. but in warmer waters lah. lol.

anywyz, its been a fruitful hol. i cant believe so many days hv passed cos its so eventful. i'm really happy and grateful for the qlty time spent w pple i value. diving w sandfly, time w mom, nephews, sis, haz, stv. :) simply thankful.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

so many things happening i dunno where to begin...

when do i noe its time i go for a hair cut?
1. last dec, when my sis who JUST gave birth (within 24 hours) saw me, of which her first words were 'your hair looks very dry, you should go cut it'.
2. within the last two weeks, two grps of students over separate occasions went:
kids: ms so-and-so, your hair is so long, why don't you go cut it?
me: i want to! but i have no time.
kids: we'll cut it for you! for free!
me: urm... no....
kids: now your hair so long like go for advertisement (i take that as joke, because my hair is dry).

anywayz, FINALLY, i just had a hair cut. like layered off almost half. ok that's too much. easily a third of my hair. now it just feels so light. shiok. much shorter. :)

Sept holidays are coming. Just last year during the same period of time i did my lasik! tis sept, i'll be diving w sandfly! :) and going to KL for two days w haz. awesome. totally looking fwd to it.

so wat else has happened?
my dear bro P got married. their wedding service was 2 hrs long, the longest i've ever attended. dinner was the latest, which started at 9pm and ended, hmm... close to 12am. *laughs* they've got a hilarious video clip presentation during dinner.

hvn't been exercising.. sigh.. but snacking a lot... double sigh...

cant say life hsn't been 'interesting'. i've just entered a new season of life, which to me, is actually a faith journey. it hasn't been smooth all the way. but i'm learning.

i just got 'chosen' to go for the trs' day rally tmrw. *grumbles* an evening gone. luckily i've gotten shrn to go w.

actually doesn't seem like so many things now. well, i'm waiting for project runway now!! wonder who'd win. santino must not win. i'm rooting for chloe! :)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

women - stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

This is about three women.

ST can't take spicy food. When in Thailand, day after day, she attempts to order the papaya salad, 'mai-pad' (non-spicy). Day after day, the papaya salad that was served.... STILL TOO SPICY. EC only laughs at her stubbornness.

GW is allegic to fish, and fish cake (and otah, get the pic?). Few days ago during her visit to sg, she took fish cake. Ended up itching all over. EC n ST brought her for katong laksa today. She ate up the fish cake in the laksa and stubbornly ate the otah claiming that there's also otah in thailand. Minutes later, she started scratching herself.

EC laughed at ST and GW at their stubbornness. But she's no exception. While shopping for stuff for GW to bring home, EC bought dried mangoes. Mangoes in vinegar gives her rashes she calls continents. Dried mangoes are only slightly better. Just need a larger dosage to trigger the formation of continents. EC stubbornly bought the dried mangoes. ST and GW had to help her finish eating while walking.

WOMEN... stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

an eventful day

national day celebration in school
as per the past 2 yrs, i hv to lead community singing. the one in the parade was tough. imagine singing to the empty basketball court, with the students in classrooms behind u, far ahead of u and one corner of the basketball court. u get the point? a bit like gotai like that. lol
concert was much easier. how so? the gals were oredi so high so its not tough. i'm the sort who feeds on the atmosphere, so i was pretty high myself. lol. it's a 'virtuous' cycle. i can like shout to make it higher. feed on the atmosphere, get higher.. and so forth. after tt, pple dun believe i was nervous and hving cold feet before i went on stage. SERIOUSLY i was. but it was farnie. when we were abt to finish the list of songs to bring the mood to a climax, a note came to us. 'sing another song, food not here yet'. and we just got scraps of paper everytime a song was about to end. sing this. sing that. the climax was just up and down cos they were just trying to get the song tracks at the other end, and tes n i just had to stand there and look happy and cont as if nothing had happened. it felt like there's a war going on there, but we just have to look happy and good. AH HA HA HA.
anywayz, ag n haz dressed me up. it was fun. i got my white pants, and a white top tini gave cndy and cndy gave me long ago, which i chunked into my drawer until the nite before i suddenly recalled, hey.. there's this white top.... ag supplied me with her cute red belt, earrings and choker. haz got me orchid clips and did my hair. it was fun! i felt loved.... *sobs*
i was really happy not from pple's feedback tt the singing was fun for the kids. but shrn came to me and say that my class, like MY CLASS, the nonchalant ones, were the first to stand up during the community singing! and they were the ones who shouted encore. i din noe who were the ones who shouted 'go ms soandso' but... to hear that my class was supportive... i was so happy.

Sec 4 farewell @ EC
the pits were much further than expected. i bladed there w NR and a kid. the rest cycled. man, we had to pass by the killer slopes @ lagoon. i wanted to sit there and die. lol. but managed it. the farewell was fun. could hv improvements definitely. but not bad lah.

worship prac
and guess wat? i'm gonna do backup tis week. lol. they caled me last min when i was oredi out w my kids. short of singers. so i just went ok. kindof regretted a bit when i realized its TWO services. cos it was last min, i din hv stuff to change into. fortunately, haz bladed by the bbq pits later half. and just trying my luck i asked her 'u got extra top?' SHE DID. a tad small for me, but at lesat its clean for me to wash up and change into before i went for the prac. nice... got an unexpected note from a fren while i was @ HC's place washing up... but due to rush, cldn't tackle the issue. but good, cos not a good time to tackle it. prac ended EARLY. like at 10.10. WOW.

anywayz, it was really eventful. haiz... now just happy i can rest... but of course, i hv two weeks worth of ironing to do given i was busy the last two weekends. eeks...

Saturday, August 05, 2006

fireworks....

i used to catch 'live' fireworks from my flat since young every national day. but usually i see 'half' the fireworks due to flats blocking. apparently, buildings get higher, so i dun even see a third of them now.

tis year however, i've gotten 'pretty close' to 'live fireworks' over three occasions so far.

1. new year's day
that was fun. i remembered. w AO n his pal, on the road @ cityhall area, stuck on the road w pple wathcing fireworks too... and on the fon w aom and tik etc.

2. closing of national arts fest
i did not expect fireworks. it was @ CCK. there was a nice performance by a spanish grp. i've neva been THIS CLOSE to fireworks EVER BEFORE! awesome.

3. today, during intermission of the concert, fireworks! i happened to be out w EC n Kaew when suddenly 'BOOM!" it all begun. it was a disappointing start. i thot it was crap.. but it progressed, WOW. pity i missed quite a bit cos of the trees. but for those high enuff.. man, they've really gotten new stuff this yr for NDP. i saw @ least 4 new differen ttypes! awersome

meanwhile, the scab on my knee kindof accidentally got brushed off. man... scar. drats. CONCERT IS OVER! and i'm seriously relieved. there's still the NDP. but i dun care.. i'm just gonna chill tmrw. bringing kaew out.

there was a 'split second' thing that happened yest when i went to watch a musical @ stvn's sch. ha ha.. LL asked me to pray for a sign. AH HA HA...

tired.....

Saturday, July 29, 2006

wat a day....

woke up from an exhausted week. ag texted me for lunch @ arab str. so thot i might as well bake for her, ana and fel when i go for jazz tonite. so baked.

went to arab str to hv a nice lunch w ag. i bought a really pretty dress! ag and ana says it was a steal at 20 bucks. but i paid almost that amount for a matching belt. LOL. so much for a steal. but i love it and look fwd to putting it on, after ana does some magic to make it fit me better.

met fel and hmd @ sentosa. fel n i went for a dip in the dirty sg waters. i cant believe i actually went into it. but nonetheless, who cares, as long as it feels good.

jazz tonite was horrid. it wasn't jazz. it was more blues and rock. they said its funk. i dun tink so. the 'lead' singer was omigosh.. in my words a tree trunk. total eyesore. i thot he was a poser. i mean, music-wise they are seriously not bad. but lack showmanship, particularly the tree trunk. i'm not sure if he tink he's cool that way... but its just hard to enjoy a performance when u look and right at centre stage is someone who cant literally MOVE to the groove.

anywayz, there's only so much blues that one can take in a day. it just sounds the same after a while (unless u hv a super zhai band). so hmd, fel n i decided to go to the musical fountain halfway thro the jazz perf. (we got inspired after we spoke to two american tourists and suggested they visited the fountain.) fel broke her slippers. so, to show wat frenship is all abt, hdm n i decided to go ard w her barefooted. so, without our slippers, we went to the carpark (i cldn't help leaping as if i was doing ballet. everytime i go barefooted, i just feel like dancing. cant help it!)

waited for the bus to sentosa. stv just arrived. but we left him @ the terrace w the kids he brought along. board the bus. an indian fatherly guy (with his family) saw us barefooted as we squeezed up the bus excitedly. i was trying to capture our feet on my camerafon. and he laffed a bit. we were happy he laffed. lightens up the mood. everyone's relaxed n happy. when we reached the musical fountain, the driver announced 'ferry terminal, musical fount...'. spontaneously, fel, hmd n myself just went 'YAY'. so the driver responded with '... fountain, YAY'. lol everyone on the bus laffed. it was nice...

like kids, we ran all the way to the fountain. it feels nice. with the breeze, nite time, open skies, stars, little lights, fountains along the way, we just ran... and laffed... ran and laffed... as if that place was our secret garden... and the musical fountain did not disappoint us. the entire mix of being barefooted, two pony tails, fantasy and magic music plot of the fountain, and the physical landscape... totally made me feel like a kid all over again!

den we squeezed on another bus and went back to siloso beach to meet stv n his kids. had to endure more of those music again. finally... we made our way out of the magic island....

BOOBOO... usual... i see one thing.. my brain thinks of another thing. i misread teh bus no. got up the wrong bus. instead of taking the highway, i ended up touring sg's town area. man..... it totally doubled the time taken to go home. but i'm grateful at least the wrong bus i took do take me somewhere near my home, rather than somewhere i'm totally lost. so it cld hv been worse. BUT... when i reached where i shld alight, I MISSED THE STOP. tell me abt booboo.. when it rains, it pours... and at the same time on the bus, my mom called and we had a sort of 'argument' which left me just frustrated. anywayz, i decided to walk home from the wrong busstop. it was a about 25 mins walk.. but i did it nonetheless. ( i just walked from geylang to stadium waterfront yest cos i lost my way again. wats wrong w me).

so now i'm home... tired... tired from chilling.. gd gracious.. but i'm happy i had a day off... before... AH HEK HEK HEK.. dun wanna tink....

princess of a magical island...

"barefooted, we roamed our little island, venturing into the little discovered nooks and corners. the sensations from the different textures of the ground makes me start going into hops, twists and turns, prancing and dancing ard like a ballerina. we took the bus, filled with people from different walks of life, and brought some cheer to them with our own from the sense of being free to express ourselves. that, brought a smile to myself everytime i tink of the smiles we brought. we arrived at a place where i recall, yet unfamiliar from distance in time. it was quiet. it was grand with carefully crafted symmetry, pillars and fountains. we ran, and ran, towards the unseen ahead, which we knew promises us more magic. running fwd and upwards in the cool, with darkness interspersed with beautifully-liting, we reached where we noe we will gasp with more wonder. the swaying strings of water dancing to the beat of the music, fireballs hurled into the sky, and the colors of a fantasy island, i found myself truly feeling like a princess of a magical island..."

Friday, July 28, 2006

YOYO

1. emotional yoyo
taking my form class is liken playing with the emotional yoyo. one day they are up, next day they are down. being complete human, i cant say i'm not affected by their mood swings. stepping into class n u can sense the 'qi'. the last i wrote abt my gals, they encourage me. since then, major downswings hv occurred, completely draining me of my emotions and energy. each time one hits me like this morn, i am so reminded that i have to be strong within, if not, i cannot help them. in their instability, they require stability and i hv to be one of those. of course, i am reminded too that this strength and peace can only come from Him.

2. mental yoyo
work is just so.... multi-faceted. it is so totally true that there's not one day in a teacher's life that is boring. Within a split second (ok, that's exagerating), within mins, at the 'call of the bell', 'call of the student', 'call from the office', etc. etc., suddenly you change your role completely., have to switch one's brains from one mode to another. Just today, i juggled between marking for a couple of mins, dealing with a discipline case, running the concert rehearsal, counselling, teaching geog, teaching music, tackling colleagues and a DEMANDING instructor.... that doesn't include having to draw from scratch a stage layout, take the contractor's measuring tape and measuring out the school hall, and directing gals to tape out an imagery stage on the floor yest. doesn't include being the 'judge' in auditions for dsa i was like informed real last min. and the list goes on. in a snap of one's fingers, you just hv to change ur mode. sometimes it works. sometimes, it still doesn't work.

3. personality yoyo
ok... i tink i'm a super candid person. a 'real' person. tt's something i pride myself in. tho... i tink sometimes i do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut and hold back some of my outbursts of emotions and actions. BUT... in sch, i can suddenly become a task-oriented person. i'm a v pple-person. hate taking charge. hate running stuff. but if i hv to do it, i realized i 'yoyo' to become this authoritative person. totally drains me out. but yeah.... tt's wat happens in sch... tt's wat happened today. can u imagine me trying to organize a bunch of over 200 kids today and tackle a DEMANDING instructor? sometimes u just gotta be mean.

just totally exhasuted.... waiting for sept to come... no. just waiting for the next two weeks or so to pass.

i hope the wound on my knee doesn't leave a scar... eeks....

lakeside house does not hv the most original plot, but nice nonetheless....

i must watch my choc. intake.

i tink chloe's great. santino should be voted out.

yoyo...

Monday, July 17, 2006

another tsunami....

it just neva ends does it....

in any case, wats been happening tt i can rem offhand....

ok... there's js's bday party @ mos... like 2 sats ago? had to wear pink.... put in so much effort to get pink stuff... onli to be greeted by a 'marginal pass'. wah rau... but on the whole, i had some fun. sandra was so sweet to accompny me... ended up @ her place to watch soccer. ok.. tt was the plan.. but we ended up sleeping during halftime (and the action only began the 2nd half.. darn)... had a nice chat b4 i went to church the next morn... yeah i managed to wakie for church... but nice chat...

spent my last weekend totally sick. sick starting fri morn. condition aggravated in the pm. by the time i got home from work @ 7pm, i was so down i was in bed by 7.30. hopeful me stil hope to recover by 9.30pm to get up to go for churhc's overnite prayer watch. of course cldn't get up lah. but had to drag myself up @ 6am the next morn to bring my kids for CIP. once they set up their stalls, settled in properly, i went home man... slept again... or TRIED to. strangely, tired as one may be, its difficult to sleep. managed to recover well enuff for jazz by the beach in the evening w mlvn. the rest of the gang all played me out... sighz...

church on sun was led by the youth. must say i'm impressed... they really hv the heart of worship. awesome. but to stay on for the 3rd service was too challenging for me. i was just exhasuted, despite all the sleep i've been getting over the previoius two days. and i wanted to recover properly before week starts... so went home... but somehow got lured to watch pirateds of the carribean after i saw the making of the movie on tv. so got stv to go watch the show w me. its simply hilarious... but while watching the show, engrossed in the fairytale world with adventures, white sand, emerald waters, highlands, waterfalls... etc, i recalled that in less than 12 hours i'll be in school.. OMIGOSH... two worlds apart...

nv has been trying to get the oldies from church youth to meet up @ our old hangout CC. looking fwd to it, tt's IF we can actually all make it at the same time... seems like a challange now... speaking of which, wed prac with some of the oldies was great... there was adr, KY, NV... really like back to the old days.. i see the pwpt presenation by the FL on sun, reminds me of wat we've gone thro in the past... seriously... i cant help *wow*ing at how much energy we used to hv... wat the kids hv now... awesome power man.... now... ah ha h aha.... once i dun hv enuff sleep... i'm down... sighz....

alrite... jsut some random thots and anyhow typing... because.. i dunno wat i'm tinking anymore..

anywayz, jazz by the beach again this sat. band: walking on waters.... who's gonna b there?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

He can use my boo boo....

Its a crazy thing... but I did it anyway.

I just left tuesdies earlier at 1030pm so i can come home early to sleep. but ALAS! no cab! they are all on call. I thot soccer season was over, so i shldn't hv a prob getting a cab.. but no... soccer season is over, cab fares have been raised, i still cant get a cab. i was walking ard al the junections and different sides of the road.. man...

so... den later there was two angmos in front of me walking... they den crossed over to the other side of the road. and they managed to get a cab! but see.. the cab stopped.. and they walked away... the cab moved away and stopped. so i thot they din wan the cab anymore.... so i ran across the road, (dun care of how i look or cars anymore, i just wanted to get home.) got in the cab and told the driver where to head. cab driver turned back and said that angmo is taking the cab. den the door opened and the angmo was like... i'm still taking this cab.. i was like... OOPS... so i got out of cab and apologized and explained i thot they were leaving. he said he was saying bye to his fren and signaled the cab to wait. cab moved fwd cos he was at some road junection or watever...

but the angmo was realy a gentleman i must say. he asked me where i was heading and since both of us were heading east, we shared the cab, and i'll drop off first. there was awkward silence @ first. so i spoke to the driver and asked abt how getting cabs at that time would usually b like to gauge better for next time. cab driver was nice and started talking to me. it wasn't long before the angmo joined in the conversation of how it was tough getting cabs, and how according to the driver,some pple try to cheat the cab drivers on call. angmo even told us wat he did during the soccer finals. he cldn't get a cab for over an hour. in the end he stopped one on call and offered extra ten bucks. the cab driver accepted and called his regular to say he'll be 20 mins late... lol angmo claims he felt bad.. but hey.. more htan an hour of waiting?

anywayz, that ws that. paid for my cab after a messy discussion w the cab driver and angmo how we shld split tis. angmo offered to pay.. but i rejected because he oredi did me a favor. so anywayz... it was kindof crazy... but hey... i tink if everyone were nicer in life, society would be a better place.

anywayz.... when i reached home i realized something.... it seemed like a big boo boo on my part. thanks to the graciousness of angmo.. i din hv to suffer as much. BUT i recalled.. while waiting 'hopelessly' for a cab, i prayed in my heart for a cab. it would be like 'super lucky' or a 'miracle' if there was a cab. but i prayed in my heart for a cab....

God provides in strange and unexpected manners.. the way He did this time.. and I also learnt.... that He can use my boo boo... well... i'm a boo boo queen... sometimes i fear doing big things cos i'm afraqid of screwing things up... but this was just a small reminder that Hey God can use my boo boo! how? i dunno yet.. anywayz. i goota sleep man.. laterz..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

i feel blessed....

small things make me feel that i'm blessed...

1. i baked cookies for my class for youth day. i tink they liked it. at least they say it smells good. lol. even adr waited for me to finish CT w the rest to collec tthem from me. i'm beginning to see some pple change... not drastically... but still... just the small smiles... just saying they'll try (one or two of them do)... even when they give crap reasons when i get them to do stuff... even when talking to them seems like hitting blank walls during the MM but yet at the end, by God's grace all turned out gd for them and i felt like a proud mommy...

2. spoke to srl after CT yest. just gave her advice... based on my life experience. to see her try to internalize wat i've told her... and appreciating the advice... it makes me feel i hv a purpose in sch.... more than just paper.. awards.. paer.. event...

3. on my way back today (one of those great 'lottery' days i get to leave early), cs came and talk to me @ the busstop. its like... HUH? kids avoid us. and i hvn't taught her for 1yr. only music. her class has always been a challenge. she came and asked me y i wasn't teaching them music anymore. and i just had a simple conversation w her. but it was very very nice...

i feel so blessed because suddenly, out of the silly frenzy of school events, i find these small episodes of time with people so precious, so meaningful. THey may not be long. They may not be life changing. THey may not be huge. but they meant something. these things make me find joy in my job... thank you Jesus.

have been so busy running all over in life. i'm talking abt more than just work. i am learning... to be myself again... to be who i was... when people mattered a lot more to me... when i was sure of myself... when i used to noe my gifts and strengths... when i knew wat my focus was... except i cant be myself totally the way i was in the past. like pple do change... so... finding myself in the new self... watever that means... lol