In The End, It's Worth It

School has been taking a toil on me. But by the grace of God, everything's under control.

For the past weeks... its been three key words circumscribing my life.
1. Waiting.
2. Test.
3. Faith.

All three intricably linked to each other. It aches to be waiting all the time. Often the question "Lord, what's going on?" surfaces, when I look at events. Its hard not to receive a direct answer, except, "Wait."

Waiting for the unknown. Waiting about my future. Wait.

SOmetimes, I fear that while waiting (for exactly what is to come I have absolutely no idea), I might just get distracted while I enjoy things I enjoy doing. Sat, a sis said something that made so much sense. Other than teaching us to trust Him while waiting, not revealing now, also means God wants us to focus on doing well what we are tasked with now. ANd when the next revelation is given, we don't have to fret about not being able to undertake the calling/task, or that we will not have desire/passion for that. Den, we will have them.

I've been put through an 'interesting' test that makes me keep looking upwards and asking 'Daddy, what in heaven are You up to? What kindof strange test is this? Its not the usual 'suffering' etc. What kind of test is this?' I asked HD the same question two nights ago. She told me "its a test for you to trust in God, and to trust in His timing". wow... Even if the test is 'weird', indeed.. it is to teach me to trust in Him.

Growing in faith is not a one-off thing. After this season of waiting, there will be more to come. And then, I bet I'll look up to heaven and ask "Urm, now what?"

But one thing I know... as these phrases I've read from rhema aptly puts it "God orchestrated the whole thing" and "And the reason is simple: God knows that somewhere down the line He'll be able to use all that painful stuff to bring your life into focus and accomplish His purposes. With God it's never too late!"

So, its waiting again. It doesn't feel the most comfy... it aches... but its sweet too... to look to Him each time and to know that He's in charge, to know that I'm sitting in His presence, to know that He knows and He loves and He cares....

God intended it for good. - Genesis 50:20 NIV

Oh, btw, update about my jazz endeavors. Went for two sessions. Been practising my piano almost daily (this haven't happened since 10 yrs back after I completed my Grade 8!) Learnt "Dream a little dream of me" and working on "The way you look tonight". Still pretty clueless. Hehz