Timing - Who decides the very moment the first drop of rain falls in a storm?

I got to leave school early this afternoon. The sky was dark and had been threatening to rain since late morning. Being the Geog teacher, I had been 'analyzing' and trying to guess when rain will fall - predicting it to be in the afternoon, definitely today.

As I was leaving the school, was thinking whether or not to bring the BIG umbrella. By 'calculation', based on the way the clouds look, they'd hold a while more. I was probably gonna reach home JUST before the rain pours or the rain would fall just MIN(s) before I reach home. To bring or not to bring. Decision: Not.

On the bus, still pretty sunny, with the dark clouds looming nonetheless. When I was within 1 km from my place (but still 'circling' around my neighborhood cos of the bus route), it was like... quick quick bussie, anytime will rain. Strangely, the bus keeps hitting the red lights (which I know would 'jeopardize' my hope in reaching my flat dry).

"Trapped" in the bus, I was thinking, WHO really decides on the VERY MINUTE the first drop of rain, then the second, and the third, then the downpour to fall? - Esp in times when we are at the 'critical threhold' where either you just make it dry, or end up very drenched, just affected by those very minutes - traffic lights / passengers alighting/boarding.

So many rains a day in so many places. WHO presses the 'fall' button? The world may boast its technological advances to precision in timing in setting off fireworks during countdowns / celebrations, in sending the murderous H-bomb that kill in 000s, all at the touch of a button. But who can control the very thing that affects our lives daily? Not us, even with our 'fantastic' technology. The world may boast its technological advances in modifying the very element I'm talking about - rain, through seeding. But we can only modifying, subjected to natural limitations such as humidity and pressure. We can't just shift it to any place we want it to fall.

Its just amazing how despite our 'achievements', the simple rain that falls each time can remind us of how great our Creator Abba is. He is the One who decides on each small storm's beginning and end. I'm not even talking about huge storms that have been grabbing headlines lately.

Why am I even blogging about this? No, bong, its not cause I think too much. I thot I was a little cuckoo to read so much into it earlier. But in evening, human fears strike again. I worry about my future. I linger through memories of decisions made, some of which I 'regret' in my human nature but yet have to trust God that that is what pleases Him. Then I realize, I'm not thinking too much. "I hold everything in place. I am in control of every single timing." That's what He's saying.

I pray, that I will trust my faithful Father.

If anyone is still interested if I'm caught in the rain? I was ONE minute behind. So was caught in a moderately heavy rain. But one minute after I stepped into my flat buidling, the moment I stepped out of the lift, it was raining very heavily. Kindof in between ey? ;)

Where will you be in December?

I was so happy that I've found someone to go with me to India!!! YES!!! can you believe it?

But now, our plans might shift. What's the plan? Need to work it out first. But its a hard decision to make. Stay tuned.

Oh yeah, but where will YOU be in December? At least, where do you think you will be? Then I can plot our where my pals will be on the map. :D

nursing

spending my weekend just resting

spent most of yest afternn in bed cos wasn't feeling well. EC managed to get me out for some fresh air. but she said i looked like crap. well, i felt like crap. like 50 year old woman. lol. thnx for being patient when i'm so full of crap yest. lol

today, getting out of house to church was a challenge again. impending flu coming up. but told myself must go to church. den end up? CM sunday. Honestly, when i see the kids, and worse, the parents, they really frighten me!! oops. :P

hopefully tom will feel better. haiz..... la la la la.... i'm bored.... feeling old... lol

bandaged...

since i'm on the topic of footwear, here's my 'injuired' shoe while i was in kunming. (yeah, all my footwear gave way there) and its final resting plce was in a 3-star hotel in Kunming city, together with my faithful sandals. They have served me well.



Oh yeah, and tt's wat is good abt taking first aid course and a first aid pouch w u wherever u go. LOL

Before & After...

First one taken in Ang Snoul, Cambodia, en route to river near the orphanage w kids in June 2004. Second one taken in Xundian, Kunming, China, on the last visit to the Pri school when we bid them farewell, June 2005. Left it behind in China, never to see it thereafter. Dun ask me y i take pics of my sandals (esp the first pic). I dunno. lol

Its been more than a week since i last blogged. where hv i been? wat hv i done? still in singapore (duh) and largely busy with work (reads: setting of examination papers).

since d last entry, most of my time had been spent setting the papers, day and nite, in and out of school. Finally submitted them. Den was busy with meetings. Only til Friday evening was i finally and suddenly free from it all - at least for this weekend.

so friday nite, went to new frens' plce to chill. there was a gathering of 2 swiss, 1 german, 1 'half-malay;half-chinese;half-indonesian;half-singaporean' (or so she claims, but tt totals up to 2 rite? :P), and 7 other singaporeans (pure? how i noe?). it was supposedly a pasta dinner. but turned out to be more a 'suppertime' drinks cum food prepared by our swiss pals and local delights bought by us. A bizarre mix of mooncakes (traditional pastry type, colored skin type, walnut type), alcohol (tequila, vodka, jap rice wine only found in okinawa they claim, cheap thai whisky), pasta (with three types of sauces); otah, choc cake, fried champedak, ... .... .... i almost cldn't make it for this gathering cos was exhausted from week. but was gald i made it. sitting round the table with nice breeze, great food and good company... was great.

saturday was largely... sleep.... mooncake... sleep... toast.... sleep... was catching up on lack of sleep from fri's late rendevous and from the week in general. in total, my waking hours was like abt 9??? lol. so was too stoned to do anything or meet anyone.

so today, not so stoned anymore. but despite the sleep last nite, still sleepy. must be the weather. in fact, i was caught dozing off standing while waiting for AO to pass me something. playing for service wasn't too fantastic cos i was too stoned to b alert (glad i was on piano and not KB). so was sermon time. so is it now. must b the weather. oh. did i oreid type that? lol. i'm going to sleep again now... nites....

btw, eyes recovering fine. eyes still adjusting to fine prints. dry sometimes, but very managable. best part, no need to take out lenses or wash (i hardly do tt anyway :P) after long day out. like can just shower and sink into bed. :D speaking of bed..... ..... .....

goodbye specky... ...

Specs.... they have been with me for close to 2 decades. Started with a pink plastic frame, then a smaller maroon one, den another pink one which in Sec sch they thot it was too 'hip' and wanted me to change new specs during spotcheck?!?! den i moved on into metal frames. black. gold. silver. blue. den it was back to my current 'hip' blue specky u either love or hate.

tis week, i hv ditched specs by undergoing lasik. mon was a breeze. eye just took a longer time to adjust and stabilize. for today for the second eye however, i realized i had taken the first one's blessedness for granted. it was like there waws something gritty stuck in my eye ALL DAY LONG and i ws tearing like no ppl's business. P says tt's cos everyone knew abt my mon procedure and prayed for it but for todays, no one was informed so they din pray. lol. still, thanks mom, dad, mommy, P, KN, SR, AO and all others who prayed for muaz. It was a comfort knowing that i'm covered not only by the love of Daddy but also of you pple.

Anywayz, how was the procedure like? Well, just not something i'd like to go through again. Mon's was smoother than today's. In fact, procedure was delayed today due to some unforeseen backlog. So ended up having to bring my mom out of the center for lunch (with a dilated pupil!! that was crazy!) Just din feel that good during the procedure itself and after tt. Discomfort all the way in the afternn into the evening. Decided to go down for worship prac tonite, just to play flute. Strangely, after i left my place, the eye slowly got better. and its realy pretty decent comfort wise now. God works ey?

anywayz, vision is still blur. will take time to stabilize. and only after this den did i realize that my left eye's degree is almost DOUBLE that of my right eye's. no wonder i get so disoriented when i dun hv my specky. whichever the case... i've ditched my specky for now. For how long? I dunno. Maybe until age catches up.. that ... is another story for another time.

sunrise or sunset?

Imaged uploaded is a sunrise during the reefwalk weeks ago. Rare to catch a nice sunrise. Sunsets usually work better. A gal gave me a card for Teachers' Day asking 'do u see a sunrise or sunset?' I like sunsets more. But i tink i shld see more sunrise? lol

Wats been up:

1. SCALP BURN!!!

2. Teachers' Day was so-so. Sad tt despite all the hard work into my CCA, my efforts were not appreciated.

3. Spent Teachers' Day bringing kids out to log data. Hot hot hot.

4. Kids out for performance at CS today. It was.... sigh... disappointing due to poor acoustics. Gals cant be heard. They were good, but cant be heard and cant hear each other so cldn't play as a group. Now, they feel lousy. SIGH.

5. Lasik is coming up on Mon. Had been specky these few days. Still dun hv mom's support. But i'm going ahead.

6. Currently its really just sigh. The only good news :) is my dear EC can go and take her OWD oredi!!! After one long year gal! So happy for u. Lets hit the water tog. For u, i'll go down the water once more tis yr. :)

simple prayer answered

the sky is still holding! despite how according to 'nature', there was no rain. we completed our data collation. Just over 200 trees recorded. I'm so dying... lol...

My Daddy heard my prayer! Thank You Dad!

Rain rain go away

Dear Daddy

My gals and I are going to collect field data using the GPS system tomorrow. We have no other slots to do it.

The weather forecast says its likely to rain in the east and partial cloudy in the central. I dunno if we are considered east or central. There are no sight of stars tonite (clouds).

Dear Daddy, please blow the clouds away and hold the rain til after 2pm. I can only ask this of You and no one else.

A simple little prayer of someone learning to pray with simple faith.

In Jesus name Amen

hitting the lows after the high

It was an interesting dive trip. Was away for the Project AWARE - Reef Check survey over the weekend. Even before I left the country excited things oredi happened.

Pre-trip:
Divers to meet at 7pm. But the school function started at 7pm. So I was expected to be late. JK was aware tt I'll leave sch at 8.10pm and fly to his dive shop. But there was a change of plan....

When I got up the cab and gave him the directions, the cab driver was SO BLUR. So I attempted to call JK to get even more detailed directions.

JK: Where are you?
ST: In a cab
JK: Where exactly?
ST: SG area
JK: Get down the cab
ST: huh?!?
JK: We're going to your school to pick you.
ST: ?!? Where are you now?
JK: Outside your sch. Where exactly are you? Stop wherever you are.
ST: Near the stadium........ .... more exchanges on location .... .... mess... ....
ST: I din noe you were coming
JK: I tried to call you. But you did not pick up.
ST: I was in a service cant pick up.
JK: You shldn't even hv .... aiya, watever.
ST: Anyway, my mobile din even register your call.
JK: No reception den. Are you at the ... .... I'm at the ... ...
ST: I dun see the van/
JK: We are in a car.
ST: black color car? I'm behind the car's junction...
..... ..... ST ran to the car 100m away in her pants and heels...

In the car... after the brief greeting formalities...
ST: Did you bring my stuff?
JK: Yeah.
ST turned back and saw her gear bag.
ST: Did you bring my red haversack?
JK: @#$^&*@ JK called a couple of ppl... confirmed ST's haversack was in shop. JK instructed JL to drive back to shop....

Throughout the trip:
Company wasn't fantastic. Pple pretty exclusive. Cos the pple oredi knew each other from their YEP trip or were from the shop, my buddy and i mostly talked to each other, ate aside from others, or i just walked by the beach myself. (They were not terribly exclusive.) But its ok. I understd and am not upset. Enjoyed the quiet moments anywayz. :) I"m hear for the dive, to try out something new, and tt's enough. GOod company is a bonus.

Dives:
Different from the usual. INstead of moving ard, movementw as very restricted. There was a lot of focus on the demarcated area. So the scope of visual was limited, but intense. Never had I scrutinized rocks or corals that closely. Did fish and bentic survey. Fish survey was boring... and cold... Bentic was challenging but more fun, especially the snapping and reeling back of tapes and pegs. Was having fun with my new accessories - slate, rattler/shaker cum pointer, and my black gloves. Love the gloves. lol.

I did not participate in the nite dive. first time i said no to a dive. primary reason - i was tired and not feeling too good - bad state to dive. secondary reasons - the company wasn't good to dive w, and of course, JK made it clear tt he did not really welcome non-staff to dive, but asked out of courtesy?!?!

Only leisure dive on Sunday morn was like.... sososososo... y? cos i got a fairly new DMT. He's a nice chap. But still fairly inexperienced. I'm not extremely good in directions,but thot the route he took was weird. My buddy (who's a freelance instructor confirmed my view, tho she said she kept quiet out of respect for the dive leader) Anywayz, he took us across loads of currents. Most of the time I just stayed real low to reduce the influence of the currents and at times while waiting for him to figure out exactly where we are heading i just find a rock or depression to hid in from the currents (learnt from previous trips. lol). I tink i spotted more interesting stuff than he did!

Final dive was a cleanup dive. It was the battle between the genders of who's gonna pick up more crap from the sea. And guess wat? We won hands down. We managed TWO FULL mesh bags of crap including fishing nets, lines, plastic bag, satay stick, glove, .... as well as an ANCHOR!!!. The boys? A mesh bag hardly full. lol. It was fun lookng for crap and manuevering abt to pick them up esp with some requiring some untangling from the reefs etc.

All in all, this was a VERY DIFFERENT trip from all the previous. It wasn't 'fun'. Different company. Different perspective under water. But I appreciated it just as much. Meanwhile, feeling very sian from the low after the high nitrox.... lol.... BLEAH.

Fast updates

Today went with the kids from COSI to the zoo... in heels... with my makeup... in black... See, i did not expect to join them. but got roped in last minute after playing for church service. at the zoo, we were stuck in the rain for an hour. my heels were soaked. i was exhasuted. but spent good time, esp with Sophuan, the girl i met during my last trip jun last year. some rude youths from church were present, but mostly i ignored them. other than that... it was great with the kids. they got excited over the rain and the (i dunno wat name) fruit that dropped onto the ground more than over the animals. i bet they've seen more than we did. and yes, i saw my cousins, the giraffe. and giraffe comes from the phrase 'very fast moving camel and leopard'. go figure.

will be super busy next week. many events. most exciting one: my training for a conservation dive next weekend. mon, tues and thurs nite i will be away for 3 hours each for the training. this is on top of my other school meetings and trainings which ends at 6pm on mon and thurs. my epms is due next mon. fri will be rushing from place to place... bringing kids to nus, den rush to a school function (grrr...) den RUSH for my dive trip. (supposed to report at 7.30pm, but sch only releasing me at 8.10, meaning the whole world - just the dive grp wld be waiting for me). so, i'm pretty dead next week. and the following. sometimes i really feel like drawying out of this trip, like frees up 3 nights, and entire weekend. hey, but told myself not to feel, JUST DO IT. bcos tt's wat i really wanna do.

ok. not too fast update done.

Rattana

Five years ago, I met her in my 3-mth stint in Cambodia. She was the daughter of Laundy. They were staying with us in my aparrment to take care of an infant.

Rattana, was a dark, 5-year old. Thin. Long limbs. Pretty curls. Big eyes. She was smart. What makes my heart each time was when she broke into her sweet smile and chuckle.

She would come into my room in the day. Sit beside me by the table while I prepare for the English classes. She would draw using the paper and pencil provided for her. Sometimes house, sometimes cat. I have a cat in my journal drawn by her on one of the occasions. My table always had some snacks, one of it was preserved fruits (long and squiggly type). I would feed her with those and each time we both put those into our mouths, we would cringe together. But the practice continued. She was a curious lad everready to learn new English words. I was folding away my laundry, and she would ask me what they were in English - skirt, shorts, shirt. We played lanterns during Mid-Autumn festival.

Two years later, I saw her in COSI. As usual, I carried her and piggy-backed her.. But she got heavier. One afternoon, while we were at the playground, she was sitting on my lap on a swing. Her dark palms on mine. And I thought to myself, one day, she will outgrow me. Her hands will grow bigger, she can't sit on my lap anymore.

Two days ago, I saw her in my church sanctuary. She was tall - at my chest. She's 12. Her hair was less wavy. But still the same sweet smile. She brightened my tough day.

That night, the memories came back so fresh to me. The smell of the dust in the evening air outside the MC in Cambodia, the touch of the dark hardwood study table I use each day in my room, my currently 5 years old notebook, the smell of the soaps I used, the golden sunsets, the feel of the tiled floors of the office on barefoot, the babies, the dusty sanctuary. That night, I remembered Cambodia the way I have not for a long long time.

I will be meeting her soon today with CP and OL. For her, I will make time. :)

Five dollars movie ticket... Is it for real?

Yeah it is! I watched it today. But spent another 5 on cab, thereby, making the price of watching the show equivalent to watching it elsewhere during weekends. lol

Where was it? PRINCESS at bedok! sounds dodgey? Its pretty decent actually. The tickets are printed using dot matrix printer... popcorns sold there cost SGD1.50, packed in the plastic containers u use to pack ur ice kachang and ice jelly.

cinema theatre itself gave me a feeling i've neva felt in a long time. Its not new, not as much cushion, but sufficiently comfortable. Best part, it wasn't full, less than 10 pple... and we bought our tix at 1515 hours, when the show was scheduled to start at 1515hrs... and it DID start by 1520 hours, cos... i dun rem seeing ANY commercials! nope. no farnie smell... farnie stains.. it was really decent.

The show was... hilarious... thoroughly enjoyed it. Given today's almost-real-life graphics, when the scene openned, i really forgot and thot it was an animation film. ONly to be reminded after the boy appeared that.. no, its not (even if computer graphics were applied). The way they put the makeup of the kids... Johny Depp, the bright colors... really made them look like animation many times. The line between the 'real' and the 'graphics' are is fine here, its different from the other films such as Star Wars or Titanic, etc... cos... the effect really adds and enhances the fantasy feeling. Brilliant.

I loved the little men, or was it man? same face, different roles. lol. i really wonder who that man is in real life, and how they even chose him for this role(s). Imagine urself holding that role, .... , .....

Anyways, the sound of the crunch each time a kid bites into the chocolate makes my knees go soft.... so i'm back to crunching chocs. managed to kick tt (therapuetic) habit for at abt 3 days.... but... after the show.. succumbbed back to the dark side......

in short, i loved the movie. its was more than the 'fun'. it was the fantasy-like journey u're brought into... and heartwarming bits abt family.. but humbug that. *laughs*

Anyhow, tix on weekdays cost SGD5 and on weekends SGD7.50. For the price, its really comparative to cineleisure where i watched bewitched last weekend. less cushee on the armrest. but like the one at cineleisure, no headrest. but cheaper. u take ur pick.

mind your own business

i was on my way back from the celebrations on the bus last nite. just as i was abt to get down from the 2nd deck of the bus to alight, i saw a 2-dollar note on the chair on the adjacent row behind me.

I thot for a moment and recalled a 50+ yr old man sitting there. He just got down a little before me, but was alighting at the same stop as me. I thot to myself, shld I bring the 2 bucks down for him? Well, its only 2 bucks. I dun wanna talk to anyone i dunno. Its only 2 bucks. No big deal.

*took two steps down the flight of stairs*

Thot again. Wow, in my mom's days, they would immediately rush down with the money and go 'hey you left your money behind'. Is this wat our system has taught us? To be 'tolerant' to the point of 'mind your own business - no matter wat?' Sad, but to some extent true.

*backtracked, picked up the purple note and went down the stairs*

"urm... you left this behind on the seat". Not a single word of thanks, we both alighted.

What is this society becoming?

You noe you are hooked on Bejeweled when

you look at your fren's face, and u want to arrange her nose upwards to be in line with her two eyes... ...

damn the sound effects. :P

Of Memories...

2. Fireworks

At 0000hr tis morn, while I was still working on my computer, i heard the sounds of fireworks booming away. But no, i cant see the fireworks. Why? typical high rised buildings.

20 years ago, when I was still in Pri sch, we would be able see most of the fireworks, at least half of the top of the fireworks from my living room when we look out into the corridor. The biggest and highest fireworks, yes, we can catch the full sight. If we really wanted to, we would go up to the 10th storey (i stay on the 9th) and catch the lights in its splendor.

Now, I can only hear the fireworks. I can't see the 'culprit' high rise, but am pretty sure they are the ones who are blocking me from it.

In any case, the mood of National Day is really here. Why? Early last morning, I have to lead in community singing... and rouse the girls to a 'high' singing... thereafter, brought some kids to practise community drumming. That was a torture. I ended up with a swollen head ready to explode from all the noise (bad accoustics that trap the sounds of drums of kids which were so not syncronised for at least 5 hours) and a pretty deaf pair of ears. By the time we got back to school, it was 9pm (spent 15 hours working), and I was totally exhasuted with the 'prep' for National Day. How can I not feel the mood? *laughs*

Of Memories...

1. Drinks during Chinese New Year

As far as I remembered, as a young kid 20 years ago, it was the glass-bottled F & N orange soft drinks. The bottle was unlike even the old glass bottled soft drinks in the other SEA countries we are familiar with. It had a straight narrow 'neck' and a straight wider 'body'.

A couple of years later, other colored soft drinks came into the picture. There were the colorful (red, green, orange, purple) FANTA (the red and green gone now), caffenited soft drinks (huge war between SARSI, PEPSI, COKE den, of which SARSI seemed to have vanished and I just realize today I cant find Pepsi original anymore), SPRITE, 7-Up.

Soon, the generation prefered 'healthier', 'non-carbonated' versions of drinks. In came the lemon tea (mostly Yeos, if I remember correctly). Today, many other teas entered the market... Green tea, green tea with jasmine, white tea (the latest, so haven't had that during chinese new year yet).

I wonder what's next. But one thing that seems to have survived all these 20 years, despite all the new drinks that have emerged (essentially simply water and sugar), the orange soft drink has remained.

I miss the old days.

Dear Abba

You said that my purpose here on earth is to glorify You - to be perfected into the image of Jesus Christ through worship, the offering of my life as a living sacrifice. The rest comes secondary to this divine purpose.

To be perfected into the image of Christ - love You commanded. The incomprehensiveness of the depth of the meaning of love. Love thy neighbors. Love thy enemies. Love them unconditionally. Above all, love You will all my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength, my will.

How to love You when all I'm doing is just holding on to the faith and the hope You have sowed in me ages ago? My Father, songs and words alone do You no justice. What is it I need to know You? To hear You?

Some say, our purpose is to be ready for heaven, meanwhile enjoy and to live happy as well. What is the definition of enjoy and to live happy?

What does it mean when it is said that I should seek You as a jewel? How do the rest of the other things - work, upgrading - come into the picture? How do they add up to Your big plan?

Abba, I wish I can hear You more clearly in this noise. I wish I can understand Your love more. I wish I could long for You and Your return more. I wish I can have a better idea of what is going on. Can I?

Your wondering child

black tie event

went for the black tie event.

God was good. y? i was so gonna be late cos i cldn't get cab for like half an hour. no point panicking, told myself. only prayed quietly for a cab. but still no cab. but there was a reason for that! see, wheni arrived at the function room, i just BUMPED straight into one of the other volunteer i noe. see, i dunno a lot of pple there. so its a GREAT thing to bump into her. and we stuck to each other. if i had a cab and reached on time (according to the invite) i'll be all by myself. speaking of His timing.

anywayz, guess wat?!?!? i've got like Song from song & kelly sitting with us at our table!!! plus a power 98 DJ. (i dunno who she is, cos tt's not my station). plus a yoga guru from India, and a couple who set up their own business in event management. COOL ey! i mean, here's an unglam teacher, with 'glam' pple like Song. He's decent to talk to. nice chap who was trying not to be bored. *laughs* all in all, it was a nice dinner, having acquainted with new pple like that.

i need to learn how to do nite makeup man. my usual makeup tricks are not enuff to get by more 'glam' nites. anyone expert? *laughs*