3 weeks into 2006...

I've finally posted again. :)

Yes, been busy. There are occasions when I do have a couple of minutes in front of my PC to blog, however, somehow its tough to blog given just a couple of minutes. Hvn't been home much. After late days at work, had been busy with meetings, dinners or practices. Maybe I'm too much a 'feel' person. I'll need the 'feel' to blog. ANd finally, its not exactly here. But the 'no-feel' is not present. :)

Yet, I have no idea where to begin. This year has come quickly. School has been managable thus far. Only getting busier with each day. With what? An interesting class whose interesting characters I've grown a special affinity to. Although, when it means I've grown to love them, it also means, each encouragement means something, but each disappointment also means a lot. Everyday, new things (its plural) happen. Its only three weeks, but I've really learnt what it means to entrust all to Him and not to worry. I don't worry for my gals (not yet!) BUt I must admit I do not really know how to handle situations extremely well. Just relying on Him day by day, praying that they will grow in maturity, they will grow to know him, and I will grow with them through this year. Other stuff I'm busy in school, PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS... Am I a project coordinator or a teacher? Good gracious. The most ironic part is, the computer jinx and IT idiot I am have sort of become the 'gadget-woman' of my department. I even just had a two-hour course with one of my project group gals in which I taught them how to use softwares and hardwares (which I learnt how to use on Friday during a training). I almost fainted of laughter (inside myself) as I stood in front of the lab using the computer to show them the steps using words like 'browser... click on this... that...' I seriously dunno what God is up to man. lol Just fortunate heavy marking is not in yet. Starting tomorrow. HA. So meantime, just keeping my cool being a mother and project co-ordinator.

Frens... I witnessed a brother's marriage during the weekend. It was one of the 'coolest' wedding I've been to. Nope, nothing 'interesting'. In fact, its so simple you hardly have those surprise items etc. But seeing this brother who has been so faithful to God through all these years, seeing how God in return showed Himself to be faithful... its is so touching really! I'm not even close to him, but i was close to tearing during the service when I sensed his gratefulness and God's faithfulness. Did baking once with Ana. :) My dear ex-cookie expert cant even use her new oven. lol. But we baked decent.

Really, so many things happening (not SPECTACULAR) but many things.. I don't noe what to write. Perhaps the only thing constant (almost) would be through these times, I'm learning to rely on Him and to trust in Him. When work presses in, handling lives comes in, managing my time and frenshipts, I'm really learning to rely on Him. My prayer is to be able to hear Him, see the way He sees, and have the grace and wisdom to glorify His name where He has placed me. I know it sounds general, but tt's generally my life now. :)

Oh oh, and I've 'sort-of' started running again. Can't confirm if i've really started. *laughs* Cos its only been a week. Hope to keep it on...

3 weeks into 2006... I still miss diving. I still miss the beautiful times volunteering. But I'm so looking forward to the things ahead, knowing that He's ahead too... :)

BTW, vani, I'm sorry, I've lost ur blog addy. Can you pls send it to me again? Also, has the great reveal occurred yet? ;)

"kodak" moments of 2006

Day 4 of 2006. Here are some of the memorable bits / bits worth talking about:

0000am, 01012006
I was 'stuck' in a fren's fren's car. We were supposed to go watch fireworks somewhere, but somehow due to heavy traffic and bad timing, we were stuck on the road in between the padang and the court. Its not too bad cos we still get to watch the fireworks, only the lower portions got blocked. Still, some are so large and spectacular, i cld still see them in full view and go 'wow'. What made this moment a 'kodak' moment is to hear some of my Thai frens' voice over the fon. I called them at midnight, wishing them a happy new year, when its still new year's eve at their end. And everyone I knew from the shop happened to be together then and I spoke to my DM there as well. The feeling was so warm... looking at the fireworks.. hearing their voice... so excited. Man, that really made that moment special.

Still on friends...
I met up w the fren who 'dropped' me last year on NYE for dinner. It was nice. We caught up. Even though I'm cautious abt not committing fully into this r/s the way I did then, it was still nice to have a 'close' to that strange episode that left me bewildered, disappointed, sad and to some extent angry.
Another dear thing is i got to talk to someone i was really close to years ago. Strange how relationships regress / progress. Its really comforting to be able to have both parties just opening up and talking, as in, just talk the way we are without having to consider too many things.

Others...
Don't wanna talk too much about school. Its really challenging. But I'm constantly reminding myself that I am going to look forward to relying more on God, to see how He works in the many challenging issues and tasks I'm assigned. All in all, I'm feeling real strange teaching. Guess its been months since I stood in front of a class and teach proper. Not used to it. Sometimes, I'm not too aware of what's going on, but just going through the motion. Of course, I attribute that to a large extent the fact that I hvn't been well. All the coughing is really making pretty stoned and tired. Really hate that feeling. Cant wait to be well and alert in class.

Long-sighted giraffe
Just came back from a checkup for my lasik in the evening. Thot this would be the final consultation. But NO.... according to my doc, my left eye is over-corrected by 100 degrees. Its not a lot, but that explains why my left eye feels 'stupid' or 'retarded'. Also, when I'm tired, my left eye's vision does blur. Well, also cant see clearly when I read the papers. Now I know the reason why. I'm not upset. Never regretted the procedure. But its not something anyone wans to go through again. But in two months, if the next review shows the same eye degree, I might have to do an 'enhancement' to 'correct' this 'overcorrection'. Eeks! Meanwhile, I"ll just have to leave with it, who noes i might just get used to this 'stupid-eye' feeling.

Resolves...
Doesn't come under 'kodak'moments. Does it matter? *laughs*
1. Do my rescue diving course. (failed in 2005, possibly in 2006 too)
2. Still under consideration: Get my driving license? (probably fat hope)
3. urm... ....
Well, lets' just say I've given up with coming up with new year resolutions. Just hopes here and there... and that's pretty much it. :) Life's easier that way.

Typical colors and pictures along the road - colors of reconstruction


My 'bungalow' - its a quarter of that building. hehz

THAIKEA - another of TVC's project

Scenery from Boat yard - TVC's another project

Police boat that got beached 1km in from the coast

Tap Tawan team @ our communal table. Think the animals are under the table. :)

On truck going to work

First septic tank i dug

Beginning stage

Wall coming to a completion

Laying the last brick of my wall

End-product of each house of my project


Sunset @ Nang THong Beach

Viewpoint of Ko Similan

Ko Similan's beach

From the viewpoint on Ko Similan

Addicted to nitrox

Another pair of trusty shoes I left behind

Weeks ago....

Five weeks ago Saturday, I was at the dentist, yet to pack my stuff.
Four weeks ago Saturday, I was on the dive boat. At this hour, I'd probably just did my first dive at the Similans.
Three weeks ago, I was on my way leaving Khao Sok National Park.
Two weeks ago, I was on my way leaving Khao Lak, where I left part of my heart in.
One week ago, somewhere in Singapore, I can't really be bothered to know what happened then.

The entry about my trip was long overdue. Not because I'm busy. But simply, I do not know where to begin. People ask me how the trip was, there is too much to say. The only word that I could use, despite its lack of substance to describe everything is 'Awesome'.

Memorial bits include the daily cold showers in the early morn and late evenings, the wonderful people I've met in my project, doing the basics for the people there, the parties at night, the beautiful dive sites and great dive people I've met, some impromptu things that happen when u travel, the simple routine every day, good and bad things I've seen and learnt about human ....

The simple routine....
We work on weekdays. Life is pretty straightforward. Wake up at 7.30 Cold shower. Change. Sunblock. Tell my two pigtail. Pack. Leave my place at 8.15. Reach Nang Thong supermkt at 8.30. Say hi to my teammates and get a yoghurt. Get picked up on our truck and drive to work. Work is the only things tt's not routine as you never know what you'll be assigned to do, and well, things just don't go the way they should. SOmetimes, just a lot of waiting. No electricity. No water. Power tools fail. Something's missing. Typical. :) First thing at work site, go to tool shed and pack whatever we need for our tasks assigned. Lunch at 12-ish with the rest at our table. Usual cat/dog/chicken/pig fights to entertain us during meal times. Continue work. Pack up. Keep tools at tool shed. Take the truck back. Silly conversations on the truck. Back at my place, cold shower again. Wash my work clothes (I only have 2 sets I wear on alternate working days). Meet for dinner. A couple of nights a week there may be activities. Sleep.

My teammates....
People from all over the world, all ages, different experiences, different personalities. One thing great though is, everyone's real. Here, no one needs to be nice for any motives. They are just nice. It makes my heart so warm to work with them. I miss them all. I could just sit here and type and cry at the same time thinking of the times spent with them. Special friends I'm met include Kara, Kate and Sukhy.

Diving....
Is awesome. I went there the first weekend break. Perfect weather. Sites are awesome. MANY MANY things to see. Met cute people. Quirky tho. Usual asses. Also met nice folks. Kara, Kate and I managed to have the boat to ourselves after the day-trippers left. Our two dive guides then brought us to Ko Similan's viewpoint for a couple of hours while the boat went to stock up freshwater from a waterfall nearby. We talked. about many things. Happy stories and sad stories of the tsunami experienced by our guides themselves who were there during that fateful day. Starry night. We even had dolphins circling our boat all nite. My dive instructors told us that has neva happened before. I guess we just have loads of flying fish ard our boat for the dolphins to hunt. Its awesome!!!! A whole school of them, seven inclusive of two baby dolphines.... aw..... My guide tells me I'm a good diver. SO HAPPY!! :) I went on a second liveaboard on the last 2 days of my trip in Khao Lak. This time, I was alone as Kara and Kate have left. Weather was cloudy. No sun. :( Strong widns and hugh waves. Neva dived in such big waves before. But I'm glad I took the challenge. I'm much more confident now. The captain of the boat later hand-signed to me 'big waves... u dive... u good...' lol. Whatever conditions, diving in the Similans is still amazing. :)

Sotong...
I've been eating like squid everyday... Phad Thai with squid. Noodle soup with squid. ... ... I LOVE SQUID and they are so affordable there!!! :P

Squid-fishing
My team had the opportunity to go squid-fishing one afternn with the villagers. We knocked off 2 hours earlier and followed them to the beach nearby and saw how they fished for squid. Tools: just a twig with little crab meat at the end poked into it as bait and a sharp metal rod to poke them in their holes one we've lured them out enough. Our catch, ten plus of us, was... 2 tentacles. LOL. PATHETIC!!!

Impromtu event 1
During the second weekend, Kara, Kate, EC and myself decided to go to Khao Sok National Park, about 70km away for tubing (that's sitting on a rubber type - for mine, just sinking into it rather, cos its too huge!!) down the river for the day and return to Khao Lak. But thanks to the previous night's hangover, plus the fact that the journey took 2.5 hours instead of the 1 hour we expected, we arrived there at about 3.30pm, only to realize that the last bus leaves there for Khao Lak at 5pm!! So, only in shorts, tank top and my swimwear, with nothing else except a waterbottle and some cash, WE WERE STUCK AT THE COLD PARK FOR THE NIGHT!! Went tubing anywayz. Got pants and tshirt for the night. But its an 'ulu' place. So, watever patterned clothes, we just grab, as long as we can keep warm for the night. lol

Impromptu Event 2
The false alarm! On the last day of work, there was a short siren followed by a short announcement in Thai. My Thai teammate looked worried. We asked her what it was and she said it said 'big waves'. She tried to contact our Center for more information, but no one was really sure except people from our other projects were evacuated into higher grounds as well. So anyway, we did evacuate to higher grounds. No one knew what was going on, as there was no prior information that there was going to be a drill. Later, we realized, the technician in Bangkok pressed the button by mistake when the drill was supposed to be the following day. MY GOSH! I had to go back and knock down one brick I just laid as I did not have time to set it straight before we left the site, and the cement had set, the crooked brick. GOSH! Irritating (its a lot of work!). But iwasn't alone, Sukhy was complaining too. *laughs* When I'm home and recounted this story, someone asked me how I felt then. Honestly, I did not know how I was supposed to feel. When we were evacuating, I wasn't worried because I knew it takes time for tsunami waves to travel, and as long as there was prior warning, there would be sufficient time. But I was also feeling.. strange... Another tsunami, even with warning, would still mean... deaths.... I hated that part.... And then, I wasn't sure if I want to hear any more deaths. There's been enough. Too many lives have been taken. Too many families wrecked and separated. sighz...

Work there...
Two days of literal shitholes and weeks of brick laying and occasional foundation setting. Shitholes are 2m deep holes dug from the ground. When digging them, you get wet and dirty from groundwater that keeps flowing in despite using a pump and bucketing them out manually. Our project manager promised us no poop with his fingers crossed. We found something and retained it for his view. Kara went 'it looks like poop, it smells like poop, it is poop'. Andy, our project manager used a stick, poking the stuff and scrutinizing it went 'it looks like poop, it smells like poop.... its probably poop.' That was the end of our shithole job. lol

Reconstruction....
can take place very quickly if resources are available and if they have an incentive to. First day I reached Khao Lak, the bus stopped us like....in the middle of nowhere... literally. The entire 'road' was simply... sand and gravel!!! First week I was there... tarring of the road took place. Second work, they built a road divider. Overnight, trees were tranplanted into the road divider. Walkpaths at the sides were being tiled. Third week, lampposts on road divider. Road lanes were marked out. By the the end of third week when I was leaving, the road ... was... amazing. Comparable to Singapore's road that sort of thing. Reason? The anniversary is coming... Everyday from the second week onwards, new shops open. The 'in the middle of nowhere' i stepped into suddenly became a developed tourist destination. My question though is, why so late? Money turns the world around doesn't it?

I cannot continue typing anymore. There's just too much. :) Brings back such good memories I may start to feel blue again! :) One thing tho I've learnt, when I'm there, I enjoy it, appreciate the time. Now that its 'over', I am not going to be upset that my 'happy' time is over. But rather, I'm happy I was there, my life has truly been enriched.

one word: Awesome.

dentist visit costs me a BOMB...

but nvm. tom morn i'll be gone from singapore. if you want to know what i'm up to, you can refer to www.tsunamivolunteer.net

dun miss me. i'll try to update wats been happening here. depending on the cost of internet services (and actually, more imptly, the availability of it).

See ya... in a .... while... :)

i have a 'i'm attached' look.

At sushi tei during a rush rush lunch (we kidnapped MsG's car at 2.30 as sushi tei closes at 3 and drove round the sch to hv our sashimi salad), we were just talking.

Colleague S asked Colleague T wat kind of guy she's interested in and she will help her look out for that sort. So colleague T went down her list. So i questioned Collegue S "hey wat abt me? hello? i noe u longer u noe?" just to disturb her.

Colleague S proceeded to say this phrase that was so familiar to me, heard from different parties in my life 'Oh, you look like you are attached. a.k.a 'you have the attached look'. i was like....not again. Colleauge T den agreed.

Define the attached look, i demanded. T said... its the outgoing, confidence that makes pple tink i'm attached and not interested / need someone else?!?!?!

I'm like. Ok. that does it. I'm gonna blog this crap. Colleague S recommended me a Nike t-shirt that reads 'i'm available'. lol. But i tink, i'm happy sticking to my Nike singlet that goes 'i eat watever i want to eat'. yum yum.

Speaking of which, having some dull ache at my right jaw. cant eat properly. sigh. will see a dentist (finally!) before i fly off on sunday. cant risk dying of toothache in thailand. and yeah, its unfair. i take care of my teeth. but its all in the genes. darn.

blessed blue bimbo

Life have been fairly bleah bleah over the week. Over the past 24 X 7 hours, what sums up my bleah bleah life?

Taking ice-cream for breakfast every morning before going to work.

Usual. Meeting. SOW. Meeting. SOW. Meeting. SOW. and watever other paperwork.

Met ana twice actually this week. She's gonna make me a wrapdress. :) We did something 'notti' on friday. ah ha ha. but it was fun. we had some bimbotic conversations. two of which i cld sum up as: if i had got braces done, like a boob job and a lipo round my hips, i cld be a model. AH HA HA.and oh, if i wear my loop earrings with a bustier dress she made, i cld end up looking like SPG. lol. ok. bimbo moments.

Kena 'forced' to a family 'outing'. My consolation is definitely my two nephews. OMG. They are so adorable, esp the elder one... every time i see his face on my mobile fon, my heart just melts.... sure the best way to beat the blues. look at my mobile. :)

Just went for a CCCCC today. CCCCC = Communicating Christ Cross-Culturally Course. Honestly, it was bleah. The only thing that was useful last like the final 30 mins when i had a brief on XXXXX. CCCCC comprises of concepts i've learnt over the years in various stages of my education life: communication, culture. CCCCC just ended up... being a combination of those two tog. Nonetheless, it was not bad. I just wldn't sign up for it ever again.

Perhaps the most 'exciting' thing that happened was my dinner just now, where i had Ms Ethopia-Universe sitting beside me. Cool eh? Actually, its not that exciting lah. But she's really nice and frenly.

The most 'meaningful' time i had was my slow walk w mom to ntuc area to hunt for wrapping paper. Man, its hard to find wrapping paper nowadays. In the slow walk,we just chitchatted and sorts. Also commenting on how the landscape of the ntuc area where i grew up in has changed. The old 'traditional' shops that were there... are now gone, cldn't survive the tough compeition of the world now. It was pretty sad. I mean, i felt sad for these pple.. cos these little shops.. added to the memories that made me who i am. HAIZ.

Current State: sometimes bimbotic, sometimes blessed, sometimes blue

mache.suntec.or.heeren.

met up w dive gang yest, after a long while. nice to catch up. usual. booboo. was pretty late cos i spend my afternn w ana. and before i left, she insisted on dolling me up putting on makeup for me just for the fun of it. but it was fun, havn't done that in years.

anywayz, i arrived at hmv, an hour late (its ok, diver's time are pretty flexible, except when underwater). called GR

me: "its crowded here. do i hv to join the queue?"
GR: "no, just tell them u hv a table inside."
me: "where are you?"
GR: "just in front of the rosti section"

got to the rosti section

me: "cant find you. where are you?"
GR: "here here. right in front. dun see u."
*sense of foreboding*
me: "which mache are you in?"
GR: "suntec"
me: "WL, i'm in hmv. ok. be there in 30mins"

Sigh. But all in all, good week catching up. Monday was work lunch. Tues was CG. Wed met my Di and crashed in the worship prac followed by a long nite supper w SS, P n mommy. Thurs, tink i chilled@home. Fri had dinner w HH n her family. sat met divers.(sandfly was present. she talked to me as per norm, as if nothing had occurred. so i just left the matter as that. afterall, wat's the point? i'm a talker. but sometimes if talking doesn't help, den so be it.) today had hari raya lunch at haz's place.

Been quite busy running abt the place and procrastinating with regards to work. progress been very slow. but need to buck up. loads of things to be settled before i leave. and many more appointments to come. AH... KILL THE PROCRASTINATOR!!!!

*btw, thnx jas for making a point to inform me abt apprentice. silly me went to check the results online on tues, only to realize later that the results are not out on tv!!! argh. but anuywayz, the stronger contestant i felt win. :)

HOW COULD I!!! SUCH AN IDIOT!!!

i JUST realized that I MISSED THE FINALE FOR APPRENTICE!!!

drats man. i've been like watching this series for like months. And this is like the only show i really actually catch. JUST WAITING for the cose to see who wins and guess wat? i completely forgot. As i was brushing my teeth just now, i was still tinking, oi. .. like sunday i neba watch apprentice. the last time i watched as a while ago.. but no leh, i neva miss.

idiot i am. yesterday, sunday which did not feel like a sunday cos i brought my kids for performance at the national library, den rushed to pick Fel from the airport. by the time i got home, it was ten. meaning I CLD HV CAUGHT THE SHOW!!! but all the rushing abt made me lose track of time. it was so hard to rem it was sun thro'out the day once i left church. MAN!!! this really stinks. :(

Very upset.

Catch up

I've been making an effort to meet up with my frens now that I can wake up slightly later for school (and this week's public holidays help). Inspired to treasure the relationships and people that have come into my life over the many years and what better time than now.

Earlier this week, I met up with C and Aggie. Tonight, met up with Ah Tong, Chee and Joan. 2 1/2 years ago, our paths crossed. Tong, Chee and myself were doing contract teaching, while Joan was doing her practicum. Today, all of us are dispersed in the different schools (none of us ended up in the school we met. How ironic). It was a good nite of laughter, provided by the wit of Chee, supported by Tong. Chee was the most 'linguistically-challenged' amongst us all. I remember the times Tong and I helped him to prepare for his EPT. REmembered teaching him how to pronounce 'zero'. Yet, it was also him, despite his smaller vocabulary stock who made us laugh. Chee also injected loads of positivism in the way he felt we should take life.

Overall, it was a light-hearted and pleasant session where those involved (who happen to be educators) chose not to grumble or whine about their lives (in school), but rather talk about how blessed we are.

Sweet.

Girl Power

had a gathering of old gals - C, Aggie n myself - of ten years on the beach last nite. while sipping our drinks and picking on the fingerfood, C said her Dad asked why we did not plan to stayover at her place for the nite.

over the past ten years, from teens to adulthood, through times of laughter, sadness, encouragement, disappointment with each other, we had stayed over at C's place many times. All the usual gals' night of chattering, fighting for space on the one bed, racking of her kitchen for midnight snack, endless giggling, poking fun at each other's crushes of yond... C is getting married next year. The family will be moving out in two months. Where we shared our special moments, soon they will no longer be ours.

I told C I thot she's busy so I did not ask tho the thot did come to my mind. So at that moment, we decided to stay over nite... very likely, the last time we'll ever do that.

As usual, we did the raking of her wardrobe for change of clothes. Shoved each other for some room on the bed. Racked her kitchen and the fridge. Spent some time watching tv. Laughed. Giggled. Talked (yest nite's topic included sleep paralysis and sleep... urm.. another sleep disorder condition we all were suffering from). The same way we did for the many years. The only difference - we were ten years older, and we lack the stamina to last much later into the night. By 2am, the other two gals were pretty gone. I managed to make them hang on watching tv and eat icecream til about 3am. Then, we all concuzzed.

Slept on the makeshift beds her dad prepared for us (even before we reached her place). An inflatable bed and another, well... sort of mat? Everything was laid out so nicely with pillows and blankets. Even when we left this morning, we met her dad on the gate while he was driving in and he asked if we were coming back for lunch. Her dad, despite our age, always make us feel like we are back to being little girls. How sweet...

In any case, we just heard in the morning that there was a warehouse sale at the Expo. We decided to go. I underwent my retail therapy. Adding on to the previous trophies (of wet suit, watches, skirts, shoes over the past month), THREE bags, THREE sets of lingerie, and one top. I MUST STOP SHOPPING!!!! (This excludes the one more skirt I bought whle I was in Geylang w Haz). I'm so gone. I must so stop spending!!! No more highclass food... No more shopping... ARGH...

Oh and one thing I've learnt: I will never ever shop in warehouse sale EVER AGAIN!! LIke this is my first experience, and we spent over an hour queuing!!! NEVER EVER!!!

SO much for coming home last nite, waking up early this morn to do work. HA. What a joke. So am I going to start work soon? ... Well, I really need to catch fortywinks from sleep deprivation and tink i do need to go for CG later. SHEESH. Whatever. Enjoy while I can. No point thinking of work when I'm enjoying. That will come later. AH HA HA HA.... zzzzz.....

yeah, i shld be typing away on my school work

but i went to check out AG's blog and came up with this.



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

that woman is so artistic my goodness, God isn't fair. *laughs*

I don't want to work anymore!!!

plans for nov/dec vacation

i hvn't updated this here tho some pple are oredi aware.

nope, i wldn't be heading to india. EC and i hv decided to go to Thailand instead. we will be joining a local volunteer center that is working on the rebuilding of the lives of those affected by the tsunami which hit last year, on my birthday. a year has passed. many pple ask me, huh? why are you going there? but really, it takes time for communities to be rebuilt. wat am i gonna do there? i hv no idea. i hope *fingers cramped from crossing* that they wouldn't make me teach. maybe picking up litter, *laughs*, maybe painting, maybe teaching, maybe diving ;). Honestly, i hv no idea. all i noe is, as a volunteer, i have availed my time. its not wat i wanna do, its wats needed there.

is it a pity to give up india now that i've actualy found a companion to go with me? it wasn't an easy decision. but the way i look at it: i have heaven ahead where i tink i can do a lot of nice things. but in heaven, i will not have the blessed opportunity to be God's hands to bless. This, I can now do on earth. Is it worth it? I dunno. Is He pleased? I hope so.

in any case, if you would like to contribute in monetary terms (i've written in to enquire what they want... old clothes etc etc... but they cited financial support), i can be your 'tranferer' to transport your contribution for their works there to rebuild lives. u can pass me your contribution if you trust me. :)

meanwhile, i just realize i'd better start bucking up and get my school admin and planning work started. if not, i'll really be crushed by the paper mountain. *laughs*

great ideas

i realize i do hv some good ideas pertaining to work... can possible amount to big stuff.. have some contacts....

unfortunately, i also realize i lack the courage and confidence that i can pull those things through. hence, the ideas neva got put to use. i mean, such a BOOBOO person, how wld i noe i wldn't create a booboo if i decide to embark on these bigger things? i oredi booboo on small things i've set out to do... sometimes even if its not my fault, still i dun carry out a good job. of course, partly cos of my incompetency.

sigh. wats the use of having ideas when you cant carry them?

on the brighter side, fieldwork is finally possibly formally introduced into my school. maybe the small lichen research plus some psyching done to my boss did help. we are considering doing proper field stuff for the entire level next year. i'm supposed to conduct a recce and briefing for my colleauges next year too before we set off for this attempt. but whether things will turn out that way, and whether i wldn't mess things up.... we'll see lor...

all over the place...

last thursday, was in arab street w a bunch of colleauges. it was KUEH KUEH GALORE!!! i was so happy eating all the weird kueh kuehs. but alas, ended up with LS....

on sat, went to jb w EC. bought like FOUR pairs of shoes. we took it slow. stuck to only one place. so it wasn't as tiring. ate my ayam kuleg. ha ha ha

tis afternn, went to little india w haz to get my brows threaded and bought TWO BIG skirts. u noe lah, my obsession with big long skirts.

in case anyone thinks i'm very free, i cannot be bothered to explain my case. go think watever you wan, pple who always just happily think that teachers are free in the afternoons, free during exams, free after exams, free for all students' vacations.

Next entry: Two questions tt's tickling my brains.

Talks of earthquakes and tsunamis in Singapore

A group of geographer met up and discussed some updates from researches about the possibility of tsunami hitting Singapore. Much as many think we are safe from tsunami or earthquakes, who can be entirely sure?

The question posed would be, if a tsunami hits Singapore as suggested by a researcher, where would be the safest place in Singapore? While high-rise buildings found all over may be a refuge from the tall waves, the structure of the buildings may not be able to withstand the impacts of the waves, especially if the waves are amplified by the narrow channel along the Straits of Malacca.

The geographers' only choice (not that it was fantastic, but it was the best bet) was Bukit Timah hill. Afterall, its a lump of granite, stronger than the man-made concrete.

So I've resolved to work very very very hard to earn my million bucks to buy a piece of land at Bukit Timah, hmm, make it a piece of landed property just beside Bukit Timah HILL. Of course, I have to train to run up the hill, quick enough too.

the kueh lapis geography teacher

Teacher is an unglamorous job. Exciting things do happen, but nothing hip or glamorous. Sometimes I do look at myself and wonder what happened to me such that I am so unhip, uncool, and unglamorous. Worse when I end up spending more than half my time dealing with admin stuff at the expense of doing what I'm 'paid' or passionate about doing - developing the lives.

Yet, these couple of days, there are small things that reward me.

1. I was entering my lift after work and out came two of the gals I used to teach in MPSS more than two years ago. Immediately, they greeted me!! By the correct surname immediately!! I was like, WOW.

2. I got down the bus couple of nites ago and from the back, someone called me. I turned back to see another students from MPSS. Its not the first time we ended up in the same bus and walked back togehter to our flat. But its nice. He was in Sec 2 then. Now, he will be taking his O levels. We chatted and he told me he wanted to be a tamil language teacher.

3. I had a splitting headache dealing with the GIS project. Sent the gals to collect the data the second time today, only to have to deal with technical problems while they were away. Not the first time I was stuck for hours dealing with this software. Til now, the problem is not resolved. But when I saw how they learnt new things and the amazement on their faces (only to a certain extent lah), I'm glad they were able to learn something useful and applicable to life, out of the curriculum.

4. I just came home from a nite class with the current Sec 4s I taught Geography to last year. I thought they wouldn't ask me questions and would direct their queries to their current Geog teacher. To my surprise, we clicked back to when I left them. Some of them even told me they remembered my kueh lapis analogy in plate tectonics and weathering. I did not use this analogy this year. But really, am surprised it stuck with them. One even said she chose to study plate tectonics (which was one of the most challenging topics in Phy Geog) because of the kueh lapis. lol. Maybe I should use it next year again.
It was so pleasant, the couple of hours which extended later than the time scheduled passed so quickly. I'm like, hey, finally I'm doing TEACHING today! Beyond the filling in of forms, etc. etc. etc. It was comforting to see how they have come so far (urm, but still have more to catch up for their Os). I spend the last portion trying to inspire them with pictures I've taken and showing them the relevance of things happening to what they are studying, beyond the memory of facts from our txtbook author MC.

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm doing the right thing 'playing' with them just to inspire them to learn and experience new things instead of focussing on examination skills. I mean, I do do the latter, but see, I could have spent more time doing that rite? But yet, I cannot bear the thought of not exciting them about the many things in life. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know. Only time will tell.

Sandman

I looked at the coat of sand that has dried and lightly stuck on my feet. This look... reminds me of a person I met when I was little - younger than 6.

We were on the bus on the way to a bungalow for my maternal's family chalet. Somewhere in the north/east of Singapore, we transfered onto an old SBS shuttle bus.

I was sitting near the front of the bus, where there were two rows of seats facing each other. Apparently, the bus was travelling along the beach (I couldn't see the beach, well, by deduction). At a quiet stop, one man board the bus and sat on the row of seats facing me. I looked at him. I was shocked. He looked like some weird person with sand coated like all over him, even on his forehead. He was carrying a crew cut, and some of the sand were like falling off him as and when. Strangely, this strange being was eating a brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread. He looked scary, the Sandman. He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled and offered me his brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread after looking at me (probably?) stare at him. I was frightened and shook my head.

Perspective of sandman has changed as life moves on with new episodes of experiences for me. My guess now, Sandman was probably a teenager or even like army boy who got saboe-ed by his pals with 'mua-chee'. Like any usual being, sandy, he made his way home on public transport while munching on his food. (It was ok to eat on buses previously.) Sandman saw a young (cute?? actually 'gong-looking') girl staring at him and out of goodwill and well soft spots for kids?? offered his food.

Over twenty years has passed. I wonder where Sandman is. I wonder who Sandman is. In a weird sense, as I'm thinking of Sandman when I associated the coat of sand on my feet, there is only ONE Being in this whole wide world who knows the whereabouts of this Sandman. Of course, I'm sure Sandman do not remember this episode.

This episode strangely surfaced from my memory archives during my walk on Siloso beach today with Fel and her friend when we went for the Jazz by the Beach in Sentosa.

His Love Never Fails

Its hard to be 'joyful' when things just seem to go wrong despite the efforts one puts in. Rem the field collection we did on Teachers' Day? The data... was.... gone.... GONE..... A mth ago, brought guitar gals out for performance. Accoustics was bad..... BAD..... Tho my sis was getting married next year, just need to tahan half a year more... but... no.. the plan was different..... DIFFERENT..... Teachers' Day supposed to be the time u noe whether u hv made impact in kids' lives rite? but... it seems i haven't.... haveN"T....

And I'm supposed to say God is good. I mean, I'm His mouthpiece etc. right? And He will bless me so I can be a blessing rite?

It has been a tough couple of months. I hv been struggling to be a 'victorious' christian trusting Him. Yeah, I mean, of course I trust Him. After all, wat can go so wrong in the perspective of eternity?

Many things I desire, which are good,which are theoretically 'pleasing' in His sight. But yet... it wasn't enuff.

After the most recent episode of the disappearing data, honestly, I dunno wat He is up to. Hving to break the news to my boss, and worse, to the kids who went under the hot sun w me... was .....

Then, when i went for CG (after months, and i almost din make it again cos of the terrible episode), God revealed to me that... these things happened so I know how much He loves me and His love will neva fail me. How? I dunno. But I know and am reminded that indeed, all that I need is His unfailing love.

In any case, so amazingly, my gals took it very positivel when i broke the news to them. In fact, even tho i gave them the option of taking another teams' data (outside our vicinity) to work with, they chose to collect the data all over again, unanimously. I learnt grace. I learnt how sometimes, we just need to be more positive and b so hard on ourselves. But, i was really really encouraged, meaning, i shld get them something nice to affirm th em ey? *laughs*

His love neva fails... .... ...

10 Ways to avoid becoming a missionary

1. Ignore Jesus' request in John 4:35
that we take a long hard look at the fields. Seeing the needs of people can be depressing and very unsettling. It could lead to genuine missionary concern.(John 4:35 "Do you not say, `Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest."

2. Focus all your energies on socially legitimate targets.
Go after a bigger salary. Make your primary focus a job promotion, a bigger home, a more luxurious car, or future financial security. Along the way, run up some big credit card debts.

3. Get married to somebody who thinks the "Great Commission" is what your employer gives you after you make a big sale.
After marriage, plunge into the socially accepted norm of settling down, establishing a career and raising a family.

4. Stay away from missionaries.
Their testimonies can be disturbing. The situations they describe will distract you from embracing whole-heartedly the materialistic lifestyle of your home country.

5. If you happen to think about missions, restrict your attention to countries where it's impossible to openly do missionary work.
Think only about North Korea, Saudi Arabia, China and other closed countries. Forget the vast areas of our globe open to missionaries. Never, never listen to talk about creative access countries.

6. Think how bad a missionary you would be based on your own past failures.
It is unreasonable to expect you will ever be any better. Don't even think about Moses , David, Jonah, Peter or Mark, all of whom overcame failures.

7. Always imagine missionaries as talented, super-spiritual people who stand on lofty pedestals.
Maintaining this image of missionaries will heighten your own sense of inadequacy. Thinking that God does not use ordinary people as missionaries will smother any guilt you may feel about refusing to even listen for a call from God.

8. Agree with the people who tell you that you are indispensable where you are.
Listen when they tell you that your local church or home country can't do without you.

9. Worry incessantly about money.

10. If you still feel you must go, go out right away without any preparation or training. You'll soon be home again and no one can ever blame you for not trying!