today because i got so SO SO upset w two gals that i literally felt like slapping them and like @$&*#(8... so upset that i got a headache.... so hv to come home....
honestly, it wasn't worth being tis upset i admit. i dun even noe wat hv gotten over me. maybe just stressed. or took it upon myself too much. or expected too much from them. *chuckles* my colleagues told me it wasn't worth it, dun be bothered with them... that it was no point... over gals like them.... but.... i seirously tried.... i took time off for them....
frankly, it was easier to sign the papers for them and just release them. "Good riddance" was an adjective used by someone else. Yes, it was easier, but that wasn't the point! They have to learn for crying out loud... Maybe it is easier to just not care. My life will be MUCH EASIER.... less traumatic....
Watever. I shall continue to irritate them and myself. Will be meanie and carry out disciplinary action tom. If I have to become such a meanie to carry my message across, so be it.
Current state: VERY SUPER DUPER EXTREMELY Crossed
Monday, January 31, 2005
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Of different professions...
Two professions came to my mind this two days as I look around me.
1. The Security Guard
Friday morn, I saw, the dark siluette of my sch's security guard at the gate, directing the gals to enter from the small gate instd of the one for the cars. I always enter by the other gate, so neva got to see him, or to notice his early-in-the-morn usual motions.
Friday afternn. I was busing home. Took a diff route. Passed by a condo. I saw a security guard sitting just outside the guardhouse on a stool.
I thot to myself, these pple, how are their jobs like? How do they pass their day? What goes through their minds each day as they go through the 'mundane?', 'fruitful?' hours.... mins.... secs...... Was this the job they really want to hold? If so, good. If not, why? Education? Age? given most of them are the retired pple....
2. The 'Pirates' in JB
I was in JB w a fren today (identity will not b disclosed given contents of tis entry). In our 'Katong' area, as expected, as we pass by these 'pirates' they will go 'Ms, wan to watch shows? Come tis way.. we have many shows.'
My fren had to buy dvds for my fren's fren. So we popped in some of these just to do some price comparisons. Much to our surprise, when we gave the name of the shows, they went 'Come inside here'. The door opens... and WOW! i mean... WOW! *laughs* {There's even a cam checking on activities outside} Tis repeats itself a second time at another shop. Did my fren manage to get the stuff? How wld I noe? I went to the bathroom.
We cont'd shopping. Suddenly, the shutters of ALL these 'pirates' shops are down. THey start sitting outside, talking on their mobiles. Business was as usual . They still ask passerbys the same qns. When anyone show interest, up goes the shutter. Prospective customers step in. Down comes the shutter. After some time, up goes the shutter. The customer/shopper exits. Down comes the shutter.
There was a sign on one of the shops saying.... Hiring employees. I wonder.... how are the lives of these 'pirates'?
As for me, I'm still a teacher, leaving my life. Monotonous at times, crazy at times, depressing at times, happy at times, contented at times...
How many possibilities and permutations of lives can there be out there? Only God knows.
1. The Security Guard
Friday morn, I saw, the dark siluette of my sch's security guard at the gate, directing the gals to enter from the small gate instd of the one for the cars. I always enter by the other gate, so neva got to see him, or to notice his early-in-the-morn usual motions.
Friday afternn. I was busing home. Took a diff route. Passed by a condo. I saw a security guard sitting just outside the guardhouse on a stool.
I thot to myself, these pple, how are their jobs like? How do they pass their day? What goes through their minds each day as they go through the 'mundane?', 'fruitful?' hours.... mins.... secs...... Was this the job they really want to hold? If so, good. If not, why? Education? Age? given most of them are the retired pple....
2. The 'Pirates' in JB
I was in JB w a fren today (identity will not b disclosed given contents of tis entry). In our 'Katong' area, as expected, as we pass by these 'pirates' they will go 'Ms, wan to watch shows? Come tis way.. we have many shows.'
My fren had to buy dvds for my fren's fren. So we popped in some of these just to do some price comparisons. Much to our surprise, when we gave the name of the shows, they went 'Come inside here'. The door opens... and WOW! i mean... WOW! *laughs* {There's even a cam checking on activities outside} Tis repeats itself a second time at another shop. Did my fren manage to get the stuff? How wld I noe? I went to the bathroom.
We cont'd shopping. Suddenly, the shutters of ALL these 'pirates' shops are down. THey start sitting outside, talking on their mobiles. Business was as usual . They still ask passerbys the same qns. When anyone show interest, up goes the shutter. Prospective customers step in. Down comes the shutter. After some time, up goes the shutter. The customer/shopper exits. Down comes the shutter.
There was a sign on one of the shops saying.... Hiring employees. I wonder.... how are the lives of these 'pirates'?
As for me, I'm still a teacher, leaving my life. Monotonous at times, crazy at times, depressing at times, happy at times, contented at times...
How many possibilities and permutations of lives can there be out there? Only God knows.
My Color
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Tuesday, January 25, 2005
post-26 December 2004
Humanity shows that it is still very much alive
People become more aware of what's outside their microenvironment
But... ...
Will people also become more indifferent to impacts of natural disasters in the future?
Would they need something of the same or greater magnitude, and visibility to move them?
People become more aware of what's outside their microenvironment
But... ...
Will people also become more indifferent to impacts of natural disasters in the future?
Would they need something of the same or greater magnitude, and visibility to move them?
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Life Goes On.......
like it or not.....
i can only do watever i can. circumstances where there's nothing I can do, i can only lift up to my Abba in prayers and trust, at the same time archiving watever memories that might keep me stuck.
meanwhile, life goes on.... and i hv to focus on wat i can work on.... in Him i pray....
i can only do watever i can. circumstances where there's nothing I can do, i can only lift up to my Abba in prayers and trust, at the same time archiving watever memories that might keep me stuck.
meanwhile, life goes on.... and i hv to focus on wat i can work on.... in Him i pray....
Saturday, January 22, 2005
My God, what have I done?
An sms... and ends it all....
3 years of happiness, sadness, disappointments, fears, difficulties
of laughter, of tears, of marking, of taking turns to assure each other and all....
An sms... and ends it all....
My God, what have I done?
3 years of happiness, sadness, disappointments, fears, difficulties
of laughter, of tears, of marking, of taking turns to assure each other and all....
An sms... and ends it all....
My God, what have I done?
Friday, January 21, 2005
Under the influence of drugs....
I'm awake for less than 8 hours today!!!!
Waking hours for today:
9.00 - 1030
2.00 - 4.45
6.30 til now
This is crazy! I'm a sleeping MONSTER!!!
I'm bored now. Have work, but can't do. Scared tonite cant sleep... *sob*
Waking hours for today:
9.00 - 1030
2.00 - 4.45
6.30 til now
This is crazy! I'm a sleeping MONSTER!!!
I'm bored now. Have work, but can't do. Scared tonite cant sleep... *sob*
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Monday, January 17, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005
An answer to my qns posted on 1st Jan
What was God's heart in view of the tsunami disaster?
I quote an extract from Chua, M.H.'s article "Where was God when the tsunamis hit?" on today's copy of the Straits Times, which I thot addressed my question aptly (and summed up watever responses i have heard from others):
"Bonhoeffer's famous line puts it thus:'Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of God at the hands of a godless world.'
To paraphrase that, I would say: Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of others in a world seemingly without God.
For it is only through man's compassion that God can be seen in suffering and tragedy."
And I learnt one thing - it takes the step of faith to accept this answer, and I pray those around me (you know who you are) will take this step.
I quote an extract from Chua, M.H.'s article "Where was God when the tsunamis hit?" on today's copy of the Straits Times, which I thot addressed my question aptly (and summed up watever responses i have heard from others):
"Bonhoeffer's famous line puts it thus:'Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of God at the hands of a godless world.'
To paraphrase that, I would say: Man is challenged to participate in the sufferings of others in a world seemingly without God.
For it is only through man's compassion that God can be seen in suffering and tragedy."
And I learnt one thing - it takes the step of faith to accept this answer, and I pray those around me (you know who you are) will take this step.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Disturbing...
Got some cds from a class during music lesson. Requested for them to bring music of different genres to share just in case I still cant screen Les Mis.
Cld screen Les Mis in the end so told them I'll take a look at the cds and familiarize myself with the genres I'm not familiar with myself first before we hold a sharing at a later stage.
One set of CDs let me feeling disturbed. I shall not name the title, or the performer (s). The graphics in the set is disturbing. Shows a performer loading up his gun, after performance shot at audience. Shows injured... frightened..... and dead audience. Finally, the performer shot himself point blank (or at least it was suggested that happened).
These are things kids today are listening today. Maybe its artistic. Its definitely alternative, somehow. But .... wat is this reflecting?
Current state: perturbed
Cld screen Les Mis in the end so told them I'll take a look at the cds and familiarize myself with the genres I'm not familiar with myself first before we hold a sharing at a later stage.
One set of CDs let me feeling disturbed. I shall not name the title, or the performer (s). The graphics in the set is disturbing. Shows a performer loading up his gun, after performance shot at audience. Shows injured... frightened..... and dead audience. Finally, the performer shot himself point blank (or at least it was suggested that happened).
These are things kids today are listening today. Maybe its artistic. Its definitely alternative, somehow. But .... wat is this reflecting?
Current state: perturbed
Friday, January 14, 2005
Highlights of d week....
1. wed - taking my first concrete step towards wat i'd like to do in my life. popped by an VNGO n had a short discussion w the wkers there. not bad.
2. wed - pink ipod arrived.
3. thur - took the wrong bus to sch. reached there on the DOT. journey there... panicky...
4. thur - had to fight for gals to get into guitar club. the process was.... chaotic n excruciating. at d same time, got thrown last min bombs of stuff to work on. almost like tsunami. it hits without warning. watever
5. fri - ana smsed last min to cancel dinner appt. my first rxn while in the staffroom "my fren just cancelled dinner appt... i hv no life". yup, fri nite stuck at home.
6. fri - two rebellious gals on the fon. u noe who u are. stop rebelling woman!
current state: alive, still hopeful, still dazed
2. wed - pink ipod arrived.
3. thur - took the wrong bus to sch. reached there on the DOT. journey there... panicky...
4. thur - had to fight for gals to get into guitar club. the process was.... chaotic n excruciating. at d same time, got thrown last min bombs of stuff to work on. almost like tsunami. it hits without warning. watever
5. fri - ana smsed last min to cancel dinner appt. my first rxn while in the staffroom "my fren just cancelled dinner appt... i hv no life". yup, fri nite stuck at home.
6. fri - two rebellious gals on the fon. u noe who u are. stop rebelling woman!
current state: alive, still hopeful, still dazed
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Obsolete? Inefficient? Up to date?
my insurance agent just sent me a table calender and small planner....
Which blog title shld i adopt?
1. Obsolete
2. Inefficient
3. Up to date?
Man, i tink i need to sleep.. i'm starting to crack up....
Which blog title shld i adopt?
1. Obsolete
2. Inefficient
3. Up to date?
Man, i tink i need to sleep.. i'm starting to crack up....
It is confirmed.... ....
I have made order and paid for my new ipod PINK!! :)
Life has been 'good'. Been busy, but happily occupied, tho beginning to feel the toil.
Tis afternn was spent interviewing gals who wanted to join guitar club. I expected chaos.. but there wasn't. out of over 70 gals, i cld only choose 15. I felt bad for the others.. many others i wanna give chances to.. but alas... thanks to the quota or watever i was given, i cldn't... :( strangely, i thot no one was interested in GC cos it has not too gd a reputation in sch compared to the more 'high profile n goodie' music grps in sch. in any case, suddenly i was given so much 'power' in determining who gets to be in the cca they wan for the next 4 yrs.... and at the final stage while ranking the 15 names, its like... i hardly noe them.. just based on impression and description scribbled... i type their names.. hardly meant a thing to me... i suppose tt's when these gals' prayers come to work ey... hmmm...
life without teaching english is seriously.... happier...
anywayz.... i'm getting my new ipod.... i'm getting busy with school.. at the same time, EC n i r looking at getting busy doing volunteer work and getting service learning for our schools in place eventually.
tired... but fairly fulfilled... as for now... i refuse to do work... hehz....
Life has been 'good'. Been busy, but happily occupied, tho beginning to feel the toil.
Tis afternn was spent interviewing gals who wanted to join guitar club. I expected chaos.. but there wasn't. out of over 70 gals, i cld only choose 15. I felt bad for the others.. many others i wanna give chances to.. but alas... thanks to the quota or watever i was given, i cldn't... :( strangely, i thot no one was interested in GC cos it has not too gd a reputation in sch compared to the more 'high profile n goodie' music grps in sch. in any case, suddenly i was given so much 'power' in determining who gets to be in the cca they wan for the next 4 yrs.... and at the final stage while ranking the 15 names, its like... i hardly noe them.. just based on impression and description scribbled... i type their names.. hardly meant a thing to me... i suppose tt's when these gals' prayers come to work ey... hmmm...
life without teaching english is seriously.... happier...
anywayz.... i'm getting my new ipod.... i'm getting busy with school.. at the same time, EC n i r looking at getting busy doing volunteer work and getting service learning for our schools in place eventually.
tired... but fairly fulfilled... as for now... i refuse to do work... hehz....
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Look ahead, XT, look ahead....
I revisited some of the things which happened last year.... I saw mistakes I've made... This time round, the mistakes came evidently, clearly to me... Do I regret my mistakes? I shouldn't. Because these mistakes are sort of blessings in disguise. But... I can't help feeling blue for that....
Things have been hectic this week, but overall I must say, there are many things I have before me... Things to look ahead to.... There's no room or time to look back, whine and get stuck... Move on XT.... *sigh*
Things have been hectic this week, but overall I must say, there are many things I have before me... Things to look ahead to.... There's no room or time to look back, whine and get stuck... Move on XT.... *sigh*
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Humbug....
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
New Year
Continuation of the attack of the pink... I just bidded for a pink ipod on ebay. I'm mad, yes, that's what doing SOW til this time of the nite does to one, it wipes out any form of sanity...
1st Jan started out with... no boom... no fireworks... felt really crappy by the time evening hits. did silly things like doing up my 2005 online calender... trying to nap... setting up my webcam (which still doesn't work.. *grumbles*).. just refusing to do wat is urgent.. my SOW and the like. lol. Thankfully, managed to get out at nite w EC n thamps. great to catch up before we all start going MIA hidden under piles of... watever... lol
1st Jan has past. I still have no new year resolution(s). I have slight inkling wat i wanna do in the long term after teaching, but cant see the way. After today, talking to thamps fren, i felt more hopeful. :) still no resolution, but at least a bitta direction. that's good i hope.
tink i can get up for church later? hmm... need another miracle like on the 26th. tis time, a bigger one.
current state: insane
1st Jan started out with... no boom... no fireworks... felt really crappy by the time evening hits. did silly things like doing up my 2005 online calender... trying to nap... setting up my webcam (which still doesn't work.. *grumbles*).. just refusing to do wat is urgent.. my SOW and the like. lol. Thankfully, managed to get out at nite w EC n thamps. great to catch up before we all start going MIA hidden under piles of... watever... lol
1st Jan has past. I still have no new year resolution(s). I have slight inkling wat i wanna do in the long term after teaching, but cant see the way. After today, talking to thamps fren, i felt more hopeful. :) still no resolution, but at least a bitta direction. that's good i hope.
tink i can get up for church later? hmm... need another miracle like on the 26th. tis time, a bigger one.
current state: insane
Saturday, January 01, 2005
PINK ATTACK!!!!!
I have no idea wat's gotten into me!! Suddenly I'm crazy about pink!!! I've just changed my online calender's color setting as well as my msn's windows' colors to PINK!!! PASTEL & SWEET PINK!!! If I am hardworking enough, i'd soon change my blogger settings to pink too.... wats come over me... gosh!
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