All music teachers can sing?!?!

thurs thot i really wanted to take time to go out in the evening, since for the previous consecutive days had spent my 'days' in school.. so asked J to go and try to con some pple out for a movie, since he's always in a movie mood and since he was trying to 'hoax' G n I into watching w him on mon. lol. he managed to con quite a fair bit of pple!! i only got sandfly. *laughs* watched irobot. at first did not tink much of it before. but its really pretty good. compared to AI.. which is.. crap. oh.. but before that.. in sch i was considering if i shld leave earlier n do my work at home. before i cld muse over that, i was 'reminded' that i'm down for the NDP concert rehearsal cos i'm doing community singing w another teacher?!?!? okiez lor.. so .... ended up spending the entire afternn on tt... yeah.. its been meetings til like 5ish 6 since tues. and one more tom... *faints* all the markings and lesson preps stuck... :(

Friday, which was just. went to support PW for her Amadeus Choral Society's tenth anniversary concert at VCH. SOngs were great.. love some bits... except.. dun quite like one of her pianists.. he's... hmm... well... overplayed for one song.. so i thot. overall it was quite enjoyable. the later part of the evening was a little more... hmm.. lets say got me on my nerves a bit... to noe.... ask... *laughs* cos like i've advised my students in my form class.... dun post too much in blog. ;)

tom another day of meeting. PBL. bleah. more 'problems'. lol. after tt will be rushing down to meet VN to get sari from her.. to wear for community singing on fri's ND celebration. cant believe it. a year ago, i was awaken in my hostel by a teacher singing all the national day songs in the sch across the road... SF told me.. next yr ur turn.. she's rite. *faints* y do they assume all music teachers can sing? its pretty amusing....  

 

Someone sent to 'lift me up' again.

I tink its amazing. This entry follows one I did about a month ago (?) on how God always provide people to give me rides/lifts.. to and/or fro NTU, to PYSS. Just during the musical last Friday, I was going for the soundcheck straight after school. The CMS sent me there because I was playing for her. Den she found out where I stayed and realized that we stay very close together, so she offered to give me rides to school for most part of the week!! When term just started, I was thinking, 'hmm, God has always sent people to bless me in this particular manner. It seems like this time round, dun have... a bitta sad. *chuckles*' But i noe that He is Jehovah Jireh. Not that I expect Him to continually provide for me in this manner. Deep in my heart, I noe that He is more than sufficient. These are the additional blessings, they are not key. They are privileges, not because I deserve it, but because He loves me, and is faithful. Yet, He does not have any need to prove that. So I left it as it is.. knowing that.. He is good. And that is sufficient. One month has passed since school term opened. And now in His time, He has blessed me once again in this manner. Its really amazing somemore. Hence... God always sends someone to 'lift me up'. Thank you Daddy.

Had cell session with some gals in my class. This session is much more encouraging than the previous two that I have a couple of weeks ago. The gals were more open and shared. They actually gave thanks!! Praise God. It was encouraging to see that they were listening, to hear them sharing, and willing to pray when asked to (well, with a little of the.. 'dun wans'.. but they did not display real resistance to it). I shared on 'words'. Whether wat comes of our mouth is positive or negative. THe effects of these words on ourselves.. on others.. and on how we display Christ... Speaking positive.. I speak positive in front of my students.. as far as possible.. but behind.. in my own life... hmmm.. lets just say.. sometimes when pple ask me how things are.. i'd rather say.. dun talk abt it... *smile*

the stress has shown evidently on my face. so evident that the music instructor who popped by after his classes to pass me the prize cheque, he actually commented tt i look bad and need to sleep, relax n chill.... sigh... i also wan to... but how does one define relaxation? when i got 'dragged out' to chill w JK and G on monday, is that considered relaxing? bcos when we go out, we get tired physically too.. so wat is relaxing? lol... these two nites.. i cldnt do work at home.. just stoning ard.. is tt considered relaxing? i still feel tired. i tried reading christian literature and the word. generally good.. but ... something is missing.. wat is it?

Maintenance Mode

Wanted a nice, slow n quiet monday nite. Got dragged out by JK n G. Ended up at East Coast having a drink. Yeah. Weird. Its mon nite. Was commenting to G, we are really relaxing ey... monday nite at the beach.. lol

Long meeting on Tues. So ... nite was burnt stoning.

Another long meeting today. so now struggling to keep awake. Today started becoming the 'mean' teacher. Made some of my gals stay back.. because they are just not handing in their work. soft approach is now over. but den.. some gals still disappeared.. *faints* i'm so exhasuted trying to keep track.. as usual, its english. watever.

NOw struggling to keep awake. COs it seems sad if i go to bed now. only 9.40! but.. dun tink i can take it soon...

As Shrewd as a serpent, as Innocent as a lamb...

What is a suitable verb to describe a giraffe eating?

Wanted to put on my msn... 'blue giraffe hunting for food'.. den realized giraffes DUN hunt.... and hence the quest for the suitable verb...

1. Feeding
EC says it sounds like someone feeding the young of a giraffe. OUT
2. Grazing
Grazing is good for grass... but leaves on the branches? NEXT

3. Munching
The best of all three entries... and hence

bLuE gIrAfFe mUnChIng!!

Entire day and nite out w my gals...

after the many practices... the ITMAP (some IT midi) competition has finally arrived. spent the entire day right into the night w them cos soundcheck was in the afternn, and competition at nite. thot cld do some marking in between.. but no.. ended up bringing the gals out for dinner at orchard and buying food for them in case they get hungry during the competition. G says i'm like her old sch teacher, like auntie, carry food ard for students.. oh watever.. i've degraded to the 'auntie' status... does it matter? not to me lah.. at least i'm not at the stage where i'll boil barley drink for them. *laughs*

we got second runner-up. the way i look at it.. it is nothing more but only thro God's grace. seriously. We fumbled... i saw a better grp.. yet we won. what else could explain it? either God's grace.. or.. powerplay, a.k.a. politics. i chose to see it as the former. the gals learnt some lessons... but there might be something else we might need to address.. but tt... i'll wait for more details... (and i thot its all ended. *laughs*)

now? exhasuted. laterz got my canoeing test.. so better koonz soon.. zzzzz.z....

Equinox is so-so... 7/10
I got a little 'higher' than usual... cos the drink was bigger than usual (of course it supposedly cost more than usual) and i drank it up faster than usual (cos G was hungry)

Indochine was not bad. 8/10
Salad was pretty decent.
Tom yam soup was... lets put it this way. salt is cheap.
Servers? Boy, they need to work on their English. Either G did not understand wat one of them was trying to say, or, the other one simply... contradicted himself in wat he was trying to bring across. 

Under 30 minutes in the school musical... x/10
lets just say that i beta not say too much here.

Gmail.com... 6.5/10
When I'm exhausted waiting to check my mail now , server down really doesn't help.

Does that sum up my day? Not quite. But, I think that's good enough.

Steady-states...

When disruption is imposed on an ecology in equilibrium, the ecology will change from the initial steady-state to a new steady-state over time. Between these two steady-states, there exist two timeframes known as reaction time and relaxation time (Gregory, K.J., 2000). The condition of the new steady-state is dependent on antecedent factors of the ecology and what occurred during the reaction time.

Life is simply that of moving from one steady-state to another. To grow, to mature, one has to learn. Through disequilibriums. Reaction time is the tough time. Still in one now. When will I arrive at the next steady-state? Yet, no steady-state is... permanent... they are all but passing, transient periods. THe antecedent factors? My anchor and faith in Christ. What happens during the reaction time? We'll see... *laughs*

i've just 'wasted' the food mommy painstakingly cooked for muaz...  boo hoo hoo...

I was tired... feeling a little blue in school....
 
en route home, i had a short conversation with a music student at the bus stop and on the bus... it was nice.

King Arthur...

yeah... me gonna watch movie finally again!!! waiting for my fren to pick me now.. so spending the few 'unconstructive' minutes blogging... boring? yeah i noe.. who cares...
 
did my 3 class for canoeing. G cldn't make it. Anywayz, i tink that gal will be bored lah. *chuckles* it was okiez today. the weather was kinder to us... i sillily volunteered to do capsize for the H-rescue... in the end, ended up stuck in the water for very long.. because we kept drifting towards oasis while they were trying to fix up my canoe... so i had to swim here and there.. all the time.. by the time they were ready for me to mount the canoe in water, i was exhasuted. almost unable to climb up!! perhaps this time round we were not learning 'new' skills, i did tink abt work sometimes during the course, unlike the first two sessions where i was so occupied work was out of my mind...
 
yesterday was a killer day at work... all the way to six-ish... still getting a little blue occasionally.. but at the end of the day, i just need to learn to give thanks and trust in the Lord... *smile*.. trying trying... :)
 
in any case, it was good to see some of my nie music frens yest during the music sharing session in the morn. i was feeling a little tired.. exhasuted.. demoralized in the morn. but seeing their faces made me smile again... i was 'rejuvenated' a little. seeing the music curriculum and facilities in the holding sch for the session inspired me a little. but thereafter when i returned to sch, i was reminded of the practicalities.. seeing the 'hall' we have for music... and looking at my table.. the english workload and all... sighz....  but den again, its good to see my nie frens. :) they sortof 'sympathized' me.. but yet, they were encouraging... :) nice to see pple out of school!! lol oh of course, i did my infamous 'booboo' trick again.. I WENT TO THE WRONG SCHOOL FOR THE SHARING SESSION!!! was oredi like 20 mins late when i arrived at pasir ris sec cos i lost my way. reaching there, i went to the general office to ask where the session was held.. they were like...'there's no session'.. oops.. called my fren and realize it was held in pasir ris CRES sec.. sighz... but its okiez.. things like this remind me that i'm me... :) unique and booboo... lol later afternn brought my gals for their prac ... i was EXHAUSTED... it was nice that at least my gals like to talk to me.. the only thing is that.. i'm so exhasuted... i feel like i'm of limited encouragement when they did not too well at a portion.... sighz.... i need duracell man....
 
hmm... my fren is late!!! argh!! but i'm not complaining.. at least got car.. lol....
 
 
 
 
 

Term 3 Week 3

Started off this week with a fair bit of energy. Now? Almost completely drained... Had been 'out' almost all the evenings, so that's pretty good. It makes me feel 'satisfied' to have a 'life'. But I do not know how long I can sustain this, given that, I have just broken my rule not to bring marking home to do.
 
Mon - met up with old college fren for dessert downstairs my place. i was too lazy to go further than that. *chuckles*
 
Tues - met up with Sandly n Jacki at Jacki's shop. Sandfly was supposed to pay up and go for dinner. We ended up hanging ard a bit.. and at the end of it all, got dragged to some silly karaoke thing. Bleah. We were the two 'early birds' who were pretty concussed by ten and had to leave by eleven.
 
Wed - met up w Dawn, TC and June to discuss Dawn n TC's wedding. ended up talking quite a bit abt diving, the kind of company those pple are, and trying to convince TC to try diving for Dawn's sake. Den went for worship practise because I haven't touched my flute for months!! Realised.. I am back to square one!! No more breathe control, my embochure gone.. *sighz* Was thoroughly exhausted halfway thro the practise. Even questioned why I even decided to crash the practise. Also made me question how able I am to survive future practises, esp when I'm on keyboard.
 
Thurs - It was supposedly a night of rest. Ended up doing my work review. Cos if not, work elsewhere would be piling up. Did 4.5km run. Great because since my hand surgery in Apr, I haven't gone beyond 3km. So it was an achievement.
 
Fri - Supposed to send sandfly off for her trip to Dayang. But later figured out its pretty silly so decided to rest at home. Aggie called me out last minute, so we ended up at Blue Note. Pretty decent place. Less 'showy' than Harry's. Band play was pretty interesting, pity I was seated too far away from the band, and that I was kindof too tired to really care. And finally after a break from blogging, I just realize blogger has come up with more user-frenly interface that requires less knowledge of html script!! Well, like I can be bothered. lol
 
Its gonna be busy busy busy... I'm thoroughly exhausted. Sometimes I feel that the 'caring staff culture' is putting on pressure on me. There will be expectations that I also go along with the 'we are one big family' mentality. Which is not bad, except, sometimes this expectation just makes one feel additional pressure? Teaching English and being assigned a uniform group (a very on one!!) is also making me blue sometimes. I know I'm supposed to take them up with joy... try..... ing..... Is teaching really for me? Or at least, is teaching in the MOE system really for me? lol... watever....

the long and short of it all....

1. today was not a bad day... not eventful.. more like peaceful... maybe cos i din teach english today. lol. tink also partly cos i've kindof made some kindof of arrangements (to stay in sch til 6 to do marking, no marking at home!! only prep etc.. but NO MARKING!)

2. cookie passed on yest. feeling sad? not really. sadly, too occupied to feel sad. wat in this world is happening to pple and emotions? no wonder pple getting less feeling each day w all the pressures mounting.

3. canoeing yesterday was fun. capsize drill (ha, i was the first to do it and reach the shore.. get to watch everyone struggle back.. mua ha ha)

4. tanned and fattened.

5. starting on the book on joshua. since my gb gals are doing it for the bible quiz, i might as well just work on that book. hope to read a chpt a day. ambitious? lol... i'll try.

6. its been nice meeting pple... just tt i cldn't be bothered w updating...
met sandfly on fri for dinner, G on sat for lunch (yeah.. she 'took me out for an excursion' in between my work in school for GB in the morning, and music competition prac in late afternoon), canoeing course on sun,...

okiez. i'm bored.

NEIL ANDERSON'S DAILY IN CHRIST
from Freedom in Christ Ministries

July 10

SECURITY IN ETERNITY

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my
rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my
salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2).

The key to experiencing security in your life is to depend on
things that are eternal, not temporal. Christians often feel
insecure because they are depending on temporal things they have
no right or ability to control. For example, some people rely on
their money for material security instead of relying on God's
promise to supply all our needs. The safest place to keep money a
few years ago was a savings and loan institution. But many have
failed and the security people had placed in them was shattered.
Only eternal investments are secure.

I believe God is shaking the foundations of the world. Natural
disasters are on the increase, kingdoms are being toppled,
political boundaries are being redrawn, and anarchy reigns in
many poor countries. Scripture warns us that such conditions
would precede the second coming of Christ (Matthew 24). This
shouldn't alarm us; we should be excited. Christ's return will be
the day of the church for those who have stored up treasures in
heaven (Matthew 6:19-21).

Security only comes from relating to that which is anchored in
eternity. Jesus said that we have eternal life and that no one
can snatch us out of His hand (John 10:27-29). Paul declared that
nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ (Romans
8:35-39) and that we are sealed in Him by the Holy Spirit
(Ephesians 1:13, 14). How much more secure can you get than that?
When your ultimate trust is in temporal values and relationships,
you are always subject to insecurity because these things are
subject to failure and can be lost. The greatest sense of
security you can experience is the byproduct of taking a firm
grip on values and relationships which will endure as long as God
Himself.

Lord, my Rock, thank You for the peace and security that comes
from trusting in You instead of temporal values.

My time on earth... ... ...

It does not belong to me. Its a privilege given to me to use it according to His purpose... ...

English..... teacher.....

yes... unfortunately (at least based on my current myopic view, oh watever), i am an English teacher. not just this year... but "as long as you are teaching in PL, you will be an English teacher", so my supervisor who happens to be the english HOD said...

when i heard that... my heart... sank.... it really did... i was to the point of tears.. but i noe i cldn't let them out. HC was telling me i cld request to the HOD at the end of the year not to take English... but no, i dun even have to wait til then, she 'as-a-matter-of-factly' revealed to me during my briefing that.. tt's my... 'fate'... ALTHO!! one strange thing happened the moment I walked out from the brief meeting with her. the thot came to me that 'i can do it. i must take things easy... circumstances will rise, but i must ride over it.... in this case.... i must be professional....' and of course at the end of the thot was 'just three years, and i'll be out of PL. dun blame me'. lol

i cld hv continued to dwell in the pits... brood over it... blame the P and VP who interviewed me earlier who did not sound me out on this (cos if they did, no way am i coming in!! serious!)... but does it matter? will it help? it had been my resolution recently to take things easy... and I'm thankful to God that He has carried me out of this emotional pit (for today at least!! lol)

of course, it helps to think on the brighter side of things. firstly, english is such a marketable subject. whoever wans music or geog tuition.. now? ha... i can earn bucks man!! lol... jokes aside (becos i've stopped taking tuition, cos i tink i need time to spend money and not just earn).. i realize tt this might open doors for me shld i wanna teach overseas in the future. at least, i have the qualification as being an experienced english teacher? i dunno... just.. tinking 'brighter'....

alright. enough about school. there are many things to say... but tt's not all to my life.. *chuckles* but den leh.. now i'm a geography, english and music teacher... speaking of which... i need to go prac my harmonica oredi. yeah.. cos me teaching harmonica.. and i dunno how to play.. mua ha ha ha...

Daddy's Love Laws....

1. "I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3

2. "Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old
enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered
your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant
with you, decalres the Sovereign Lord, and you became Mine."
Ezekiel 15:5

3. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into
our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
Romans 5:5

4. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were sinners,
Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

5. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, netierh height nor
depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from
the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

6. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

7. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be
called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a

Murphy's love laws

All the good ones are taken.

If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.

Sent by Van Den Bossche Jochen

long long long long day...

i dun even noe y i'm posting this in the middle of the nite when i'm so dying to sleep....

went for my canoe course early this morn... thot i'll get majorly lost.. but strangely... its pretty easy to find. the only thing abt getting up this early is... i was still dreaming of a dive trip!!! getting changed and all.. when my HP sounded the alarm... @#*$(&* in any case.. canoeing.. well.. its okiez. at the beginning part when the instructor was giving instructions on how to oar to move in different directions.. i was like.. a little worried.. cos it sounded so technical!! yeah.. and anything technical makes me feel completely baffled.. but after getting on the water.. its really managable... minus... i got really toasted!!! its strange how i dun get so toasted in cambodia over 5 days, and how i din get even so tan when i spent hours on the upper deck suntanning during my dive trip.. but withihn the short 3 hours span, i got so dark!! drats.. the ugly tanlines formed by the life jacket.. *&(*&#$@ wasted all my hard work tanning in tioman.

asked G to come ove rmy place for a shower.. turns out... we talked to sandfly over msn while she's over.. so somehow.. we were all going out for dinner?!?!?! (to think that i intended to do some work today!!) so for dinner we went.. at the steamboat bbq place at marina south. ate a lot. sandfly was funny.. she will just take all the food we dumped back at her (when she dump at us) without any argument!! ha ha... now i've found the rite person to dump food on. lol.. bumped into someone i din really wanna see.. or someone i wasn't quite ready to see.. but it was alrite.. very managable.

J was asking for company to watch spiderman II. but i just watched it on fri.. so after consulting the papers borrowed from the steamboat place.. we realized there weren't really any good time slots.. so decided to give it a miss.. and go for tea at hotel rendevous coffee club instead (since we all need some camomile to help us sleep better). but there, it was like last order time. they were closing in 30 mins.. so decided to go mr beans which is 24-7. having sat down, we were informed tea will take longer to be served BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH POTS!! hence the debate of whether or not they were professional enough to do that.. G and sandfly said they shld say they needed time to brew the tea to be professional. me on the other hand, wld rather they tell the truth... no wonder i can't make it out in the coporate world? lol...hmm.. tt itself is another thing to ponder abt by itself. when im less braindead. J saw the Kbox sign just opp and wanted to go sing. so we cancelled the order for tea.. and accompanied him there.. i was just... stoning.. tired from the day's activity... mentally, physically.. and challenged emotionally... so tt was tt...

just came home. tink i shld sleep soon.. TOM MUST WORK!!! tt's it. zzz...

sometimes blue.... sometimes fulfilled..

i started the day in school in the morning feeling down... sianz... bleah.... the thot of the long day and many crazy periods.

as i stepped into the class.. slowly i regained my composture and interaction with students left me feeling a quiet sense of joy... but... VERY EXHAUSTING still..

this has been typical of how i've felt for the past few days... and i believe for at least the next one week to come.

i just met a fren for movie and supper tonite. just to chill out. this is a fren whom i look up to in a certain aspect. he is one who is very busy, but yet does not get uptight, and take things easy (as in.. the outlook in life). this is something i learnt in my diving trip too. to work hard and to play hard. sometimes it gets difficult esp when i get uptight easily abt things (just look at this week!!). but slowly, i hope to learn to 'take things easy' and not to 'kill' myself over work. the work will be there. actually i am fairly fortunate esp since i am very certain that the work is purposeful and that God has placed me in this position. sometimes.. i just get self-centered.. i just lose faith.. and hence the uptightness etc... my resolution for this rest of this year.. will be to learn to do my best in my work.. remembering that it is God that i shld please... and that when work pours in, i shld have faith, look to the cross rather than to myself....

yupz yupz... my resolution for the year. guess this is a trial i'm being put thro ey? *smilez* trying... trying....