have been smiling quite a bit....

unconsciously...

i hv pple ard me telling me that i look happier. one even said i glow. :)

since the past couple of days, i've still have the mixed feelings, which i believe will conti for a while more. when pple online greet me and ask how i am, i dun even noe how to respond to that.

moments where its difficult to let go... e.g. when i helped colleagues with some IT related stuff.. its like.. hey i've got them going.. e.g. during the dept meeting when i no longer see my name attached to class, the project i'm down for put down as KIV, hearing another colleague anchoring the level for the subject, it was like... ouch...

but... there are some little things that God has shown me bit by bit that hey its all good... and His plan is good...

e.g. God brought in a teacher so much more experienced in Geog tis yr. He also brought in another teacher so much more experienced and capable in music tis yr as well.

besides the restlessness in my heart, suddenly there are more options opened before me, tho none concrete, but these options had neva been so stood out so clearly before, all within this period of time.

and when i looked at the deployment (which the sch at first mentioned tt my departure midyr will cause in conveniences), i realized it served the kids and staff well as well. my 4NA class will have a much more experienced teacher to carry them thro. a gap has been created for one of my colleague to move to upper sec which served her well for her career prospects esp in the current situation. only LL complains tt God doesn't seem to hv shown a 'replacement' for me in the OCIP component YET. but as we spoke today, and as we had a break during staff meeting, we both came upon another colleauge... who seems to show some potential....

i neva knew that things would fall into place so nicely even for teh school. the Lord provides. the Lord takes for pple to move on. tho now.... wat next is still the qns... tho i'm learning to just wait and trust.

meanwhile, i might be bloggin a little more often again. LOL

moving on....

finally... the sch has 'released' me....

its been a tough week since mon... hving to speak to figures of authority... and things did not go as i intended... someone revealed my plans somewhat prematurely, the pple whom i'd like to inform personally got wind of my decision before i spoke. it wasn't ideal. but the LORD is in control.

negotiations started taking place... i was sort of asked to 'justify' my decision... which did not seem to satisfy the pple... i was 'questioned' to the point when i started to doubt my own decision.. i started to doubt if that was really what GOd is revealing...

it wasn't an easy period... when i thot things were 'settled' on mon, new stuff cropped up on wed... it was discouraging... but on hindsight, the matter that cropped up on wed... was the one that allowed the full release... God has the best plan... and He's showing it by revealing bit by bit. if nuthin happened on wed, den i'd hv to make do with the 'second-best' based on the talks on mon. if only we have faith... the faith journey is slowly but evidently unfolding as i start to take the first step. when i worry how i shld speak with wisdom, He has oredi 'fought the batter for me' and paved the way. I previously questioned if I was on the right track.. this was a sign that... yup....

PJ asked wat my emotions are the moment i got the news tt i was 'released'. first... FREEDOM... den... almost immediately the feeling tt followed was a sense of loss as well.. it is official. it is confirmed. there's no turning back. i'd be packing my table real soon... putting away all that i've gathered... the experiences, the accomplishments, the possibilities in this place, the security...

but i wan to learn to trust in Him. He has shown Himself to be faithful so evidently even when i had so little faith. Yest, i wondered how i cld get thro this... and tis morn.. i din even hv to do much... except to pray.. not that i 'felt strong faith'... but He is faithful...

moving on....

something i've wanted to do since young....

ok.. its not major major!! like a 'dream'... not that major. but since young, i always wanted to raise the flag up the flagpole. Its always the prefects who do it. i even used thread and put a knot (liken the flag) and pull it on my door's grille when young... sang the anthem, and 'raised' the knot...

finally... couple of days ago... i raised a real flag up a real flag pole... and took it down too during the S3 camp. Ah ha ha... childish... but hey... FINALLY ok! :)

the camp was good in a sense.. (other than the nice sea breeze and waves and horizon and aeroplanes...) in the sense that... it made it very clear that... i've had enough.. and its time to move on... and move on... i will.. small steps have been taken here and there. tmrw will be one of the bigger steps... *jitters*

my tuition kid...

likes me.... so does her mom... :) tt's wat the mom said lah....

tis is kewl...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

intense two weeks....

finally over!

within a span of two weeks, i had above the markings, vetting of papers and prep of lessons:
- lesson observation
- coaching for SYF
- SYF and experiencing the disappointment and pulling myself up to encourage my gals
- set two common test papers
- prep for the kaleidoscope
-THE kaleidoscope itself

was practically out every night these two weeks for sending a loved one off, piano classes, kairos course, met an acquaintace to share experience abt teaching (tt dude is considering getting in), attending a wake, the concert.... of course, jazz by the beach & jazz @ d powerhouse last couple of sats (my form of chilling and life!)

FINALLY, offloaded!

THere had been encouragements.... heard from a kalimantan teammate who knew a gal from my class... apparently i'm quite a 'clown' and entertainer in class with my lame jokes and big actions (sometimes i feel like i'm in a talk show).
Encouragement by my guit gals who wanna really have plans (plus, i'm so proud of them when i saw them really perform during the competition & the concert... it actually makes it hard to let go...)

This two weeks... i also saw some of my loved ones (most from the kalimantan team) 'move' into a new season in their walk with God in the journey of life...
- leezi leaving SG for dubai
- Eug leaving SG for canada
- some others moving on... either to another country, or into freelance, or getting married...
i always find it so amazing how God brought this group of 'strangers' tog and now, after developing the fellowship, moving on into different journeys, knowing that we have each other behind us, supporting us spiritually when needed, because we've walked through the crossroads with each other, within that short time span since we went for the trip in dec last yr.... it also reminds me of how, as His disciples, we are really called to the ends of the earth into His purpose, but yet held together by the same Father in heaven when we look up into the sky, when we just sit in silence before Him.

ALong the way, there are pple who reminded me that faith is really not seeing where the next step is, but to noe Who to put my next step in. its something i can't completely understd... but who does? Now that the intensity is over, i no longer have reasons or 'excuses' not to sit down, and be decisive... it really gets more difficult to step out of my comfort zone, to step out in faith... with each passing day...and i'm not even talking abt months.. i'm talking about DAYS! with each event happening where i am, it gets more difficult to step out... and den i'll qns myself, am i supposed to step out? that's the quesiton i cannot escape in the week to come, and i must not escape in the week to come...

its been quite a rabbling here... but its also been quite a month... just that there aint much time to write... many things have happened thro the month... but wat is a month in view of eternity? :) wat are these but for us to learn to cling on to Him and prepare for the Kingdom....

meanwhile, my mobile has officially kaka-ed.... had to borrow colleague's one yest for the concert. i need to get one today. considering getting a razor... and my voice is gone, had been gone since wed and i hope it'll be back... cos its so tough going for services being unable to sing... :(

i'm done for now.... still hv much work to do.. but for this morn and early afternoon, i'm done for now...

i was talking to ts and realized...

that... i hvn't dived for over half a year!!
tink i'd better get wet before i lose my gills...

today i managed to get my student moving...

and to know what it means to enjoy a piece of song....

2 weeks before SYF, many sessions of 'talking to myself' trying to bring across the importance of body movements in music... and it hit blank faces and return...

today, after i 'forced' the gals to do 'standard movements' first to get them used to the idea of movements, then encouraging them to develop their own, in the 3 intense hours spent with them... i saw for the first time, them moving in their own accord (not all, but sufficient nos.), and feeling the intensity of the three latin pieces...

i felt... so... well... i cant find a word to express that... but it was priceless... nuthin could replace wat a teacher longs for... not the performance grade, not the no. of surveys drawn out, or filled in, or collated, but the 'oooh....' from the kids, the 'phew' or 'ah...' of release after the intensity of the songs...... the realization of this new knowledge, this new skill, or simply this new level of understanding and experiencing music... it is.... truly priceless.... i'm a happy gal tonight....

of course, i also feel a sense of nostalgia... because one noes tis is something that i must treasure... something precious this seaason....

performing for the Most High

i had the honor of the Most High to be my audience yesterday, my sole audience.

as written for a couple of times already, one of my dream profession is to be a lounge pianist. and i noe that that doesn't mean i get to play my favorite pieces, or to pple who would really listen to the music...

yesterday, i realize, i had the full attention of the I AM as i played. it was as if i was on a stage, with spotlight shining from above onto the piano where I was playing... and i looked up... and i saw... the Most High looking down at me performing for Him, for Him alone... i have no idea what i was playing... what chord progressions i was playing, becaues it doesnt even matter to me anymore. but it must have been one of the most beautiful that had ever flowed out from my being...

i'm not sure... but i tink... other than His full attention, i tink He was also moved with me. Ok, more like He moved my heart. i tink He is pleased, and that He liked the music that flowed out.

Oh what honor.... to tink that i've missed this for all these years.... Oh such honor.... thank You Bapa.

a reality check....

i thot i'd need to blog this, because of its significance. something tt i meant to blog a week ago when it occurred.

i thank God for the talent (or gift?) or music. pple ard me have expressed how much they like my music, or inspired to learn the piano, or impressed, or how they like my touch, etc. etc. Whilst one may think that I'm boasting here, I'm not. I'm just acknowledge the talent God has given me to invest, the gift He has given to me which i treasure a lot.

to think that i almost gave up music in my life about 3 years ago. when arrangement class in my teaching college which makes us 'dissect' an arrangement into parts and analyze the piece in a cognitive fashion, plus juggling stress in the new school environment... i wanted to just limit music in my life to "step into the classroom and teach quavers and crotchets'. of course, God's grace is sufficient. He sent ppl into my life to remind me tt it is a gift.

of late, my passion for music has been re-ignited, through the strangest means, only God can concoct. the reality check bit: while pple give me a lot of affirmation abt the music i play, after my piano tr knew how serious i was abt music, he told me in the most direct and undiplomatic fashion... 'you noe.. the way you play... is... ... very rough."

POW! that was like slap in my face. afterall, its been a long long time since someone has 'corrected' me on my music. but i really really appreciated the fact that finally, there's also someone who can teach me more... to be better. it took sometime to swallow that initial impact... but i'm glad i can improve.... :) in a sense, i guess the 'roughness' has to do with the fact that, i'm not the most 'comfy' or 'confident' in jazz, hence just whacking. like steven taught us 'if you are not sure, den play louder.' I guess not. lol. tis week, my tr says i'm not 'rough' anymore... but 'too careful'. lol. well, it takes time to get adjusted.

its time for a reality check... :)

Keeping the dream alive

Performer: Freiheit (1989)

Tonight the rain is falling
Full of memories, of people and places
and while the past is calling,
in my fantasy I remember their faces.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

I hear myself recalling,
things you said to me the night it all started.
And still the rain is falling,
makes me feel the way I felt when we parted.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
No need to hide, no need to run,
'cause all the answers come one by one.

The hopes we had were much too high,
way out of reach but we have to try.
No need to hide, no need to run,
'cause all the answers come one by one.

The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

The game will never be over
because we're keepin' the dream alive.

The game will never be over...

What Is Education For?

A recommended reading for educators.

(An extract from Six myths about the foundations of modern education, and six new principles to replace them by David Orr, One of the articles in The Learning Revolution (IC#27) Winter 1991, Page 52 Copyright (c)1991, 1996 by Context Institute)

About:
We are accustomed to thinking of learning as good in and of itself. But as environmental educator David Orr reminds us, our education up till now has in some ways created a monster.

Extracts:

"...many things on which your future health and prosperity depend are in dire jeopardy: climate stability, the resilience and productivity of natural systems, the beauty of the natural world, and biological diversity. It is worth noting that this is not the work of ignorant people. It is, rather, largely the result of work by people with BAs, BSs, LLBs, MBAs, and PhDs."

Referring to the educated Germans and Holocaust:
"What was wrong with their education? In Wiesel's words: "It emphasized theories instead of values, concepts rather than human beings, abstraction rather than consciousness, answers instead of questions, ideology and efficiency rather than conscience."

"education is no guarantee of decency, prudence, or wisdom. More of the same kind of education will only compound our problems. This is not an argument for ignorance, but rather a statement that the worth of education must now be measured against the standards of decency and human survival - the issues now looming so large before us in the decade of the 1990s and beyond. It is not education that will save us, but education of a certain kind."

The six myths modern education's foundations are enshrined in:
1. ignorance is a solvable problem
2. with enough knowledge and technology we can manage planet Earth
3. knowledge is increasing and by implication human goodness
4. higher education is that we can adequately restore that which we have dismantled
5. the purpose of education is that of giving you the means for upward mobility and success
6. our culture represents the pinnacle of human achievement: we alone are modern, technological, and developed

Six principles to rethink education:
1. all education is environmental education
2. the concept of paideia: The goal of education is not mastery of subject matter, but of one's person
3. knowledge carries with it the responsibility to see that it is well used in the world
4. we cannot say that we know something until we understand the effects of this knowledge on real people and their communities
5. importance of "minute particulars" and the power of examples over words
6. the way learning occurs is as important as the content of particular courses

Full article can be found on "http://www.eart-h.com/text/educate.htm"

So the question now, is not "What is education?" Rather, it is "What is education for?"

How do we achieve the ideal? Can we? I always think we have fallen. As long as we are on earth, we can only do our best. I can only do my best as an educator. But how much can I really do? Can only take encourage from principle #5, the power of examples over words. Maybe only a few impacted, nonetheless, it begins from there.

In The End, It's Worth It

School has been taking a toil on me. But by the grace of God, everything's under control.

For the past weeks... its been three key words circumscribing my life.
1. Waiting.
2. Test.
3. Faith.

All three intricably linked to each other. It aches to be waiting all the time. Often the question "Lord, what's going on?" surfaces, when I look at events. Its hard not to receive a direct answer, except, "Wait."

Waiting for the unknown. Waiting about my future. Wait.

SOmetimes, I fear that while waiting (for exactly what is to come I have absolutely no idea), I might just get distracted while I enjoy things I enjoy doing. Sat, a sis said something that made so much sense. Other than teaching us to trust Him while waiting, not revealing now, also means God wants us to focus on doing well what we are tasked with now. ANd when the next revelation is given, we don't have to fret about not being able to undertake the calling/task, or that we will not have desire/passion for that. Den, we will have them.

I've been put through an 'interesting' test that makes me keep looking upwards and asking 'Daddy, what in heaven are You up to? What kindof strange test is this? Its not the usual 'suffering' etc. What kind of test is this?' I asked HD the same question two nights ago. She told me "its a test for you to trust in God, and to trust in His timing". wow... Even if the test is 'weird', indeed.. it is to teach me to trust in Him.

Growing in faith is not a one-off thing. After this season of waiting, there will be more to come. And then, I bet I'll look up to heaven and ask "Urm, now what?"

But one thing I know... as these phrases I've read from rhema aptly puts it "God orchestrated the whole thing" and "And the reason is simple: God knows that somewhere down the line He'll be able to use all that painful stuff to bring your life into focus and accomplish His purposes. With God it's never too late!"

So, its waiting again. It doesn't feel the most comfy... it aches... but its sweet too... to look to Him each time and to know that He's in charge, to know that I'm sitting in His presence, to know that He knows and He loves and He cares....

God intended it for good. - Genesis 50:20 NIV

Oh, btw, update about my jazz endeavors. Went for two sessions. Been practising my piano almost daily (this haven't happened since 10 yrs back after I completed my Grade 8!) Learnt "Dream a little dream of me" and working on "The way you look tonight". Still pretty clueless. Hehz

my personal collection..

today, i happen to talk to my bro EG and realized tt he likes jazz too, so tt boy was just asking abt my collection... so it might seem like i'm really free to type out my collection.. but hey, why not... keeping stock too (well, those I can find...).. ha ha... hard to classify some of them.. but i'll try... so here's for you bro...

Jazz
Jazz Moods (Disc 1 & 2) --> MY FIRST JAZZ CDS!
The Black Box Jazz (Disc 1 - 4)
Pure Bossa Nova
Jazz in the City 2 (Disc 1 & 2)
Pink Champagne (Disc 1 & 2)
Sympathique - Pink Martini
The Prewar Vocal Jazz Sotry (Disc 1 & 2) - Best of Jazz Records
A Declaration of Love with Jazz
Mystery Lady (Songs of Billie Holiday) - Etta James
Duke Ellington - 1952 - 1960 - Columbia Jazz
The Best of Earl Klugh
Here's to You, Charlie Borwn: 50 Great Years! - David Benoit
More Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps (Disc 1 & 2)
My Girl Josephine - Fat Domino
SaxEmble
The Fantasy Band
A Smooth Jazz Christmas - Dave Koz & Friends
Christmas Memories

World/Ethnic/Fusion/Lounge/Chill
Indian Dream (World Peace through World Music) - Emam & Friends
Bombay Lounge
Heritage (Folk Melodies of India)
West Meets East: The Historic Shankar/Menuhin Sessions - Ravi Shankar / Sir Yehudi Menuhin
Himalayan Melodies of Nepal (Sarangi) - Gaurab Music
Folk Roots - Kutumba (Nepali)
Gending-Gending Instrumental (Indonesian)
Instrumental Campursari Karya Legendaris (Indonesian)
Songs to Remember (A Jazzy Experience) - SMOMA
Making Music - Zakir Hussain
Putumayo Presents: Euro Lounge
Tantra Lounge Exotice Indian Electronica
Cocktail Nights 3 (Poolside Vibe)
Exotic Moods (Chill Out Sessions from the Far East)
- CD1 - The Mystical Lounge
- CD2 - The Sunset Lounge
- CD3 - The Late Night Lounge
Dream - Buddha Bar III
Joy - Buddha Bar III
Dancing with the Lion - Andreas Vollenweider


Christian
Worship Sampler 2 - Christ for the Nations Institute
Chosen from the Nations - Live worship from Stoneleigh International Bible Week 2000
Shout to the Lord 2000 - Hillsongs
Touching Heaven Changing Earth - Hillsongs
For All You've Done (Disc 1 & 2)- Hillsongs
Hope (Disc 1 & 2) - Hillsongs
Blessed - Hillsongs
Ultimate - Hillsongs
Worship - Michael W Smith
Rescue (Live Worship) - Newsong
Jerusalem Arise - Paul Wilbur
Lion Of Judah - Paul Wilbur
Shalom Jerusalem - Paul Wilbur
Lounge Worship 2
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever (Disc 1 & 2) - Worship togethercom
Our God Reigns - Bob Kilpatrick & Friends
Winds of Worship 7 - Vineyard Music
Now Is The Time: Live At Willow Creek, Chicago, U.S.A. - Delirious
I Will Sing - Don Moen
Unspeakable Joy IV
Christian Love Songs (Piano Solos) - David Hamilton
I Love You Lord/Instrumental Praise (Violin and Oboe with Full Orchestra)
Heavenly Melody Instrumental 3 - ORTV
Decide - Freedom House
Still on the Journey - Sweet Honey in the Rock


Others
All-Time Greatest Movies Instrumentals (Disc 1 - 3)
Golden Greats: Golden Songs from Stage and Screen (Disc 1 - 3) - Frank Sinatra
Les Misérables (Disc 1 & 2)
Moulin Rouge
Maksim the piano player
Super Hits 1993 - 2003 (Disc 1 & 2)
Talk on Corners (Disc 1 & 2) - The Corrs
Borrowed Heavens - The Corrs
Non-stop Christmas Disco Medley
24 Disney Christmas Favorites
Carols by Candlelight
THe Little Drummer Boy
The Golden Collection of Richard Clayderman
Tchaikovsky the Masterpieces
Singing in English Can be Fun
singapore '98 festival of songs

inspired... by my kids....

i rem starting off the year (not too long ago still) wishing to be inspired so that i can be an inspiration for my kids...

it hasn't been an easy start. i rem being totally upset on the first day of school, being thrown an unexpected piece of news of having to teach two new levels (the very next day), and not having a most conducive physically environment to conduct my teaching... it upsetted me because, out of the little time left after all the other extra responsilibities, i really wanted to teach. to inspire learning. and i wasn't able to do that properly (at that point of time). for that day, i wanted to give up teaching. i wanted to move on, since i thot i cldn't even do the minimum.

things hv settled for the better. donch hv the most conducive environment, but its good enuff. someone told me on day 1, 'use ur personality to teach'. cant do that for long. :) but things have settled. but i wasn't too inspired thereafter.

along the way however, while expecting other sources of inspiration, God brought along another source of inspiration i did not expect. my very own kids i taught last year, my geog students and my form class.

i got a note from a gal i taught last year and carried out a crazy field project with. it was stressful but fun. she said they only expressed their gratitude now, because they were afraid of being taught of as 'buttering up' to me last year. for the hard work i put in, i taught i've wasted my time. but now, i realized, truly the gals learnt and were inspired.

got other gal who smsed me saying the class missed me. some other gals asked me couple of times why i wasn't teaching them anymore.

this morn, my very own ex-form class... with one of a very interesting gal, who told my colleague that she missed me. later when i met her and another ex-form class student, they both told me in the usual 'i-talk-to-you-like-i-don't-care-if-you-are-my-teacher' manner that, they knew that although i scolded them often, i cared for them. lol. they rem my scoldings. *smile*

this is not a 'i'm here to feel good and think that i'm good' entry. but its just a testimony of how God reveals Himself to me, and how He uses me to touch lives. Sometimes (esp last year) when I read inspirational quotes on how teachers touch lives without knowing, i balk and went 'yeah right, whatever'. today, i still have the 'yeah, right, watever' attitude towards that. nonetheless, i've been encouraged by these students who intentionally or unintentionally, inspired me to go on, to impart the passion for life, and to see the world in a different light.

i will go on.... with Christ....

jazz jazz jazz....

i've finally signed up for my jazz classes! :) Been getting contacts and called up a few places/pple. It wasn't as easy as i thot it wld be. the music schs dun hv evening slots. All taken up. Was going to do it with a more 'pro' and costly teacher (which I only intend to get at later stage), until this morn, out of the blue, i read yest's Life! section and saw a 'dodgey' music school i've neva heard before. checked outthe website and called up to check who the teachers are. pretty decent. and they've got decent evening slots for me!

so made my way down to register. and i'm starting class THIS THURSDAY!! really really excited. apparently my teacher-to-be played for some reputable hotels for many years. so, i'm really really excited!! :)

was at jazz@southbridge yest w AO. planned to go to blujazz cafe. but there weren't enuff seats during to drizzle. but i was glad i was at j@SB. cos they will be moving downstairs on mon, with dining facilities and all. but... that feel... that i have for j@SB since yonds ago... will no longer be there... so i'm glad to be there for the last time, the way its been.

ok... i've been talking a lot abt jazz these while. (but tt's cos... its something exciting i'm embarking on!!) what other good things hv happened?
1. my pc's cd-player is working!! thanks for CL for putting a new cd-reader (watever u call it) into my pc. so now, i can start ripping all the new cds i've bought over the past few mths and enjoy them on my pc and my ipod! hurray!
2. wld like to tink my guit skills hv improved. foudn a kewl set of guit chords w pretty nice voicings online. thnx to LY for the guit. its so accessible now! :) dun tink i shld get a guit casing. cos tt'll make reaching for it less 'easy' and i might not fiddle w it as oft. hehz.
3. new timetable. which is 'interesting'. used to end lessons at 4.10. followed by meetings. now i dun end at 4.10 anymore. which is GREAT! and tues, i only hv ONE period that starts at 2pm. lol. can i sleep in? but of course have to pay the price on thurs n fri when i have 8 - 40mins periods. but i'm not complaining.
4. my form class. poles apart from 06 form class. i'm not saying it was bad last year. but it was really really draining last year. i've learnt much and i'm thankful. its nice to have a change for some recharging at the same time too.

had loads of meetings the past 2 wks since sch started. norm time of reaching home... sevenish (and tt's cos i take cabs home). after the meetings, also noe there are A LOT of things ahead. but i'm leaving a period at a time (not even a day at a time anymore). am still tinking of taking the reefcheck refresher course (over five weeks and two weekend dives) and kairos course. ha. i'm ambitious. but one period at a time.... :P

til we meet again, stvn, HC and family...

just came back from the airport. sent stvn, HC and family off. migrating to melbourne. over the past two years, they have shown me so much love in practical ways. stvn's commitment to the worship team and his heart for worship will be something i'll always rem. God has called them away for His purpose.

its difficult to let go, of these people whom I've gotten to noe and work with in His kingdom. but i thank GOd for their season in sg, the season we've all spent tog.

til we meet again, may the Lord bless and keep you, stvn, HC and your two princesses...

dream... dream... dream....

yest... was at Balaclava w Stvn, PJ n TS... and one of the songs was on living out ur dreams... life is so short... and i'm glad i hv my dreams, my dream jobs... and so here they are:

1. travel journalist
which i obviously cant make it owing to a lack of vocabulary and poor grammar structure, etc. get the pic?

2. humanitarian aid worker / community devt co-ord / teaching in a developing country / the like (not in sg)
i suppose its not time yet.

3. lounge pianist
i'm taking up the first step. i just spent a like 80 bucks on a fake book! intending to take up jazz lessons. got some contacts. BUT i realize, to take the first step to CALL UP to enquire can be quite daunting. because that's really putting in the first step and committing somewhat! because, i'll be talking to a real person abt it! so... hvn't gathered enough courage to dial the numbers yet.. soon... soon... i aim to do it by next weekend.

4. flight attendant
i just realized tt the cut off age has increased! which means I'm still eligible! if i cant be a travelogue writer and travel for free, this comes the closest? :P

Anywayz, I'm really really excited that I have actually chosen to pursue one of my dreams a little more seriously. Nevermind if I don't really get to be a lounge pianist. BUt for a long while, I'm finally working on something I really really wanna do. :)

Meanwhile, its keeping my focus on God... and praying for wisdom and grace that I might be an inspiration. Am hardly inspired by thephysical things happening around me. WIll need supernatural inspiration. :)

dream... dream... dream....

living out my dreams... bit by bit...

2007 - A new year of adventures and possibilities!

2006 has been a very fruitful year. Just the month of Dec has been POW for me. And I'm really thankful to my Abba for growing me. Even as I was reflecting while journalling en route to Delhi, I realized how He has been growing me, showing me more of Him, drawing me to a more intimate relationship with Him over the year to prepare me for greater things ahead, in this new year. What? I hv no idea yet.

So wats been up for the past month, and what for 2007?

For the couple of days i'm in town while not in Indonesia/India, been hanging out a lot w the kalimantan troopers. hehz. It was great fellowship. Been hanging out real late, even for the past few nights (movie marathon @ leez, crashed jd's party, watchnight svs), so really dunno how i'm gonna wake up early tmrw onwards!

Saw the sch calendar for next yr. Really dunno how i'm gonna survive, w the new tasks added onto my plate as well. PLus the stuff tt i'm considering taking up (ref below). But I'm really gonna trust in Him for the strength cos I noe, there are more things to come, and growing in faith does come w stretching. Not gonna be easy, but i'm gonna trust.

So, what are some stuff tt i'd like to do for 2007?
1. my bond's ending in july! opens up every possibility. i'm leaving everything open. perhaps conti teaching. perhaps take time off to wk in some other cty. i dunno. only God noes.

2. kairos course. its 'suicidal' to take up this course. takes plce in mar/apr, when i'll be crazy prepg for syf and the concert. but... i shall trust...

3. jazz piano! JJ really inspired me to take it up. as previously mentioned, one of my dream ambitions is to be a lounge pianist. but neva thot i was gd enuff. (still dun tink so). but sometimes, i do hv to work on something, something I'm really interested in and not just brush it asie simply because of my own inadequacies. So it shall be my new next challenge (after diving) for next yr! But for now, i need to find a teacher. Any contacts anyone?

2007, a new yr of adventures w Him. :) Its not gonna b smoooth sailing, but it'll b good. thank You Daddy. :)

Day 7 - and still counting

India has been incredulous!If anyone asks me how my trip was, I wldn't even noe where to begin! It is definitely not the place for the faint-hearted, if you decide to do it the 'free and easy, on your own' style.


This is really not a chill vacation. Imight probably return more exhuasted than when I left. Here, its so stimuating. Everything on the street is demanding my attention. The colors, the sounds, the movements, the contrasts of wealth and diversity of things happening... Physically, I've been on the move. Mentally, I've been challenged. Need to start to sl owdown (which is almost imposible here).

For the past 4 days, we spent 2 days with BJ and her family. So for a while,my guard was down. It was n ice to be around people you can trust. I take back what I said inmy earlier entrythat India's nottoo bad a place in terms of safety. One really h a s to be on his toes all the time. No wonder BJ's family(locals) were worried for us to be on our own. Pple are out for your money and physically ifthey can. After all the encounters, my mantra for this trip is "Trust no one". One really dunno whlo's sincere and who's not.

We went to Agra to se the taj mahal o n fri only torealise thta its closed. The red fort was closed too by the tim ewe reached the place. SO,for 4 hrs of traqvelling to Agra from Delhi, we did not see wat we expect4ed tosee. In any case, we will be taking a 6 hrs drive to agra againtmrw from jaipul the crazytown i'm in now to spend ourchrimstasthere.

Yest, we arrivedat Jaipul. If anyone thinks that Delhi is bad, Delhi's only an ORIENTATION to INCREDIBLE India! It wascrazy. horse carraiges, camel carts, rickshaws, tuktuks, minivans, buses of al assortments, bikes, death-defying pedestrains (we have joinedthe ranks), bicycles, etc all on the same street! Of course, tere are a million things going on atthe same time... guys trying to entice you (harass actually, iwas physically harrased by a 5 yr old boy! til i gave him a loujd 'hey' followed by a teacher-stare), guys using the 'public bathrooms - a.k.a walls', vendors peddilng ALL SORTS of goods (brushes, metal utensils, bags , spices, jewelry, shoes, etc.), pple making candies, touts trying to sell their ware etc.. all going on simultaneously. If Kalimantan was surreal, this beats it all hands -down.
Well, I'velearnt much. Its just hard to imagine whn I'm back in the classroom treaching, these scenes still exist constantly here. I ask God where is my place in this crazy world (not India per se) and just wait and see. :)

Meanwhile, will be traveli ng back to Agra tmrw to seethe Taj Mahal and the Red Fort. Its prettykewl. Taj Mahal either on CHristmas or my bday. Den it'll be back to Delhi and then home.

I do look forward to home just as much as i find India fascinating. One has to move on... in order for more 'adventures' to come. Asking the Lord for new inspiration in teaching, so taht I can hopefully inspire my kids too. :)

Signing off for now... Apologies f or bad typing. Keys are stiff, and the spacebar is constantly stuck. *laughs* That's what I call 'character'. Afterall, I'm in India. ;)