There will be sightings of giraffe

in China from 31 May to 10 Jun 2005.

Go figure.

after wastage of many man-hours and countless of trees cut down for watever proposals

transport fares will rise as EXPECTED. Y kill those poor trees in the name of 'welfare' and 'justice'?

trying to blog....

currently distracted by a couple of frens msning... BUT I WANNA BLOG THIS ONE badly.. b4 the craze which has oredi started intensifies.

wat more am i gonna blog abt but my DIVE TRIP!!! *chuckles*

SOP: meet fri 7.30pm, reach mersing 12am, boat ride to dayang/aur ETA 5/6am.

This trip: meet fri 7.30pm, reach mersing 12.30am, stuck in mersing till 6am, approx arrival in aur 11+am.

WAT HAPPENED?!? silly 'resort' owner did not fix the small boat transfer out of mersing... w low tide, means we ALL GOT STUCK for hours. sleeping at the open jetty, with cold hard chairs (not to mention dirty) and MOZZIES... is difficult. no, cut out the sleeping part. boat ride was one of the more comfy cos it wasn't too cold and i had space (dirty) to sleep. in any case, cos of the late arrival, we missed one morning dive and power nap. waited till 1 plus for first dive. in any case, while waiting got to break d ice w 4 new pals playing pictionary.

first dive was uneventful. second dive was cut short by heavy rain. nite dive was cancelled cos of rain. so we lost out on two dives.

Day two: second dive an the pinnacle was worth all the missed out dives and crap. simply BEAUTIFUL!!! but surface currents were horrendous. we practically dragged ourselves down using the bouyline instead of free descend. by the time i hit the bottom, i've used up quite a bit of air. BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

Things i tried out tis trip: new accomodation, cutting down the number of weights to 2 (not a very good idea), launching the sausage (yeah E, i used it three times!!! but only 1/3 or 1/2 inflated. lol. but i did it myself!!)

Its farnie how in the beginning of my dive trips i'm not excited and in fact question why on earth i like to dive and 'suffer' the journey there when i'm not that comfy in water.. etc. but after meeting new pple... getting to noe them better... spending time interacting... looking at nature.. the horizon... under the sea... the sense of weightlessness (when i'm more in control) i noe y i go diving... tho i'm quite sure the next time round i'm on my way to the next dive, i'll question myself again.

all in all.. it was a good dive. superduper bruised. took pictures of bruises. looks like CSI pics. wld hv loaded them here if i knew how to. lol. mohamark had fun poking my bruises (EVEN IN THE SEA!!!) TM said i dun hv to worry abt taking bus home cos i hv loads of 'gor-kard jit-kor' (fifty-cents & one dolar coins). my gosh... 16 on left leg, 8 on right leg, NONE on right hand, and 2 on left hand of various sizes. quite a sight. *laughs*

meanwhile.... i'm glad i made it home safely. haven't gotten time to rest. still wldn't hv. so looking forward to break after i'm back from china. :)

ENFP

i noe i'm supposed to be in bed soon. i noe i hv yet to pack my bag for the camp tom morn. but i cant help doing this instead. mua ha ha. looks like i outta change my profession.

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #4 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #5 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

What's Your Personality Type?

yeah i did it again

i just successfully shouted at my sis to f***off. No i'm not proud of it. But neither am i ashamed of it. Because I'm just damn pissed off. and i'm damn pissed with her stupid bf for making her decide to stay here instead of the damn big place she has in my eldest sister's place. say should stay as a family? my foot! if stay as a family den stop doing unreasonable things.

bong, tis is something you will never ever understd. u did not understd the foreboding feeling you noe things WILL happen. either a matter of days, or in this case, close to immediately. thanks for understanding E.

actually tis is stupid. i kindof expected it. Tuesday, the CG was speaking abt how God works for the good of all He loves through difficulties and suffering. Some may question: you call this suffering compared to the many others out there? Ok, call me immature, call me very selfcentered, but yes, this is suffering to me. and this is a thorn in my flesh.

Oh God, I seriously need Your grace. Daddy, I'm sorry for my selfcenteredness and I noe You are in charge. I dunno how I'm gonna go thro these days. Moving out - is but an escape You are not pleased with. Staying put - yet being bonded by the sense of foreboding and dread of home is not what You ask of me either. Help me to glorify You. Remind me of Jesus I pray.

Meanwhile, I'm about to leave for my dive trip. I was angry with my mom just now because I partly blame her for how things have turned out all these years in relation to this matter. But yet I love her and dun wanna hurt her the way I noe i had.

Crap. God help me.

of nostalgia... of solitude...

juz back from meeting for kunming trip when i realized... my 'beloved' sis has moved back. she was away for a couple of weeks cos my mom went to stay over w my eldest sis. oh.. the peace and solitude.... now that she's back... Grace oh Grace

kept wondering if i made a mistake deciding to go on a dive tis weekend cos of wats coming up in next couple days and weeks. but now that she's back, yeah, not bad an idea.

will b away tom. back on mon nite. den tues will be off for full day CIP w kids. wed - fri will b out for camp and watchnite duties for the kids. sat will be full day in sch to meet parents, followed by meeting for kunming. and i'm leaving tues.

will hardly be home. maybe not so bad afterall...

man i'll miss the peace.

i'm an old woman...

my body has worn out after months of not running. FINALLY got to run today. man, it was tough. engine was totally like rusty and all. but thankfully i finished my 3+km in decent time.

suddenly recalled running the cambodia w some of the boys last year. man tt was fun. yeah, and no, i wldn't b heading for cambodia tis jun. wanted to. but just too busy to attend the meetings.... well.. i'll just send my baby boy there w the team den.... God doesn't tink its time for me, and so shall it be.

i hv decided to take up an offer by an NGO to help facilitate their volunteers. thot for over a week. actually still not sure, but decide to just take it on and see how....

meanwhile, sch is getting really tough. i'm so caught up w admin, prep for all the upcoming events... my teaching has suffered.. alas....

now still decideing whether or not to go for dive tis weekend. would like to hv a break, but afraid things might crop up....

old woman signing off.

major damage control

my boss for the kunming trip misintepreted my committee members' words and first thing in d morn i was gently confronted with something. Was a little upset. but its okiez. things do happen. words do get perceived differently. not much damage control i can do.

i looked forward to bringing my guitar girls out for the concert tonite. then as i was trying to do my bit on the 'can't do much damage control' for the previous thing, realized that i've gotten the venue for tonite's concert wrong. it was my oversight. most students have left school by then. i called my assisting teacher and we spent the next couple of hours calling them up. it was tough. i half wanted to strangle myself for wanting to bring them out, though i noe that was stupid. had to 'assure' some very 'concerned' parents as there are a couple of gals whom they themselves cannot contact. assured them i will pick them from the first venue personally and send them to the correct venue. managed to get all but three. everyone asked me to pray. i did, silently and quickly in my heart cos i dun hv time to pause to do a 'proper prayer'. whether it 'works' or not, i went on.

5.55pm. 5 mins before i was going to step out of my house to go to the wrong venue to pick the 'uncontacted gals', one called. phew. I just needed to reach one of the other two - they were together. i told God, i'll try till 6pm. By 6pm i finally got respond from one of their mobile but it was picked up. i prayed. bcos i'm so much closer now. 6.01, the fon got thro. i was saved the trip to the wrong venue.

not sure if i'll hear from parents. but i thank God for bringing someone (seroiusly out of the blue) who brought to my attention this matter. and i thank God He got the two gals for me. I thank God the gals enjoyed themselves and are hopefully inspired. and i thank God its over for tonite.

meanwhile, no talking shop tonite.

the 'too many things happening' equation

Too many things happening = no time to blog these things.

anywayz i wanna watch Kingdom of Heaven. anyone interested?

Friday has been announced to be a day off for my school bcos of the good results from SYF and success of the concert friday nite. P tinks trs n students hv worked hard n done well so declaring a day off.

strangely, teachers themselves while happy, are half frustrated by this proposal and kindof made noise... me included. our scheduled tests have been disrupted, situation not helped by the fact all CA marks hv to be entered next week itself (means marking, plus keying in, plus checking of grades.. is gonna b crazy)

wats wrong w us? day off also complain.. geesh....

did an approx 16km hike from bukit timah to mandai tis morn. ended later than expected cos the person who was supposed to guide us came late. end now... crazily marking.

1. S3 Test 4 (done)
2. S2 Test 3 (done)
3. S2 Files
4. S3 Files
5. S3 graded assignment (done)
5. Key in grades and get kids to verify
6. for concert excursion for guitar gals - transport, forms, payment (done)
7. for excursion for geog students to watch nile river movie - confirmation w other teachers on dates, get parent helpers, forms, payment, consent forms
8. kunming trip - kids for vaccination, first aid list, log list, list for kids, go thro proposal by various committees (prog booklet, cultural prog), liaise w another org for a presentation come friday
9. go thro proposal by guitar com for get tog session
10. contact my sugar baby regarding cambodia (done)
11. prep for S2 lesson
12. Prep for S3 lesson
13. meet the director from YC (done)
14. arrangement for CIP trip for my guitar gals
15. check the guitar inventory

I tink tt's all... i hope... *fingers-crossed* oh, and of course, to visit my nephew again... hopefully tis week. possible? *sighz*

AND btw, my elder sis is PREGNANT again. i hope for a gal tis time. hek hek hek

You Belong in London A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

r u kidding? london's is really not on my list. maybe i just hv wrong perception of d place. hey and watever happened to the choice of font for blogger? now i'm stuck w huge words... *grumbles*

He who cares for and feeds the sparrows

is the Alpha and Omega.
is the Creator of heaven and the earth.
is faithful from before I was born through each breathe I take.
is faithful to accomplish every good thing He has already begun.

That, is something I have learnt and relearnt all my life.
That, would be something my gals have learnt a little through a major disappointment at tis time of their lives.

Wednesday, eve of SYF for guitar, 6.30pm, on bus 158 enroute home
Looked out of window and saw some sparrows hopping by the road at d traffic light. Wondered how it'd feel to hold one of them. Small, warm, full of life. Looked at their 'fake' camoflauge eye and the real eyes. Thot of how if my Abba provides for these little creatures, how much more would He provide for me (us - the guitar gals).

Thursday, 6.15am, on bus to school.
Started to rain. I thot 'surely God tis cant be Your showers of mercy rite?' When the bus reached another location, we moved out of the rain zone and I'm like.. hee.. thank You. So its not showers of mercy. (wondering whether i wan showers of mercy or not, because i have no brolly w muaz!) When bus moves on, it POURED and the song i HAPPENED to (or maybe, it wasn't happened to) listen was "open the floodgates of heaven let it rain". I'm like... OMIGOD... You serious God? but i've got no brolly. *laughs* in any case, God told me He's gonna bless and provided for me at the same time - when my next bus came, the rain stopped!!! My instructor got a verse too "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us" 1 John 5:14,15

Thursday 12.30pm, Auditorium, SCH
Announced that my girls were awarded a silver. Girls were extremely upset (understatement). It was prep-talk from auditorium, out of auditorium, back in school. All the rousing them up, then preptalking them over the week had completely drained me. But still, as i told the gals, the LORD has d best for us, just we dunno wat it is then.

Friday 8.30pm, School
Girls finished their 2nd performance for the day. Over the day, they learnt much, they experienced much. They learnt wat it meant to truly enjoy music. They learnt wat it meant to perform. They had fun. THey learnt wat disappointment is. I hope they learnt what it means to give thanks in times of disappoinment.

Now, i'm gonna leave school. rest time. Amen to He who cares for and feeds the sparrows.

bohemian vs power suit

My style of dressing: Bohemian

That has been confirmed by a couple of pple... ana, pple for the tues CG, and just today, my colleagues HZ n TS mentioned tt again. While its a style i'm proud of and luv, there are times i lust for the power suits.

Components of the power suit: makeup, nail polish, groomed brows, heels, jacket, tailored pants/snugly fitted skirts, DARK.

i luv the power combi too but alas, my profession does not allow me to don that without attempting suicide. there are times i wish i cld wear something tt makes me not look so 'unpro' when i teach, but under practical circumstances, i cant. walking from block to block (reads: changi to jurong), 'entertaining' and 'performing' in classrooms of soaring temperatures... means under the power suit, i'll either suffer heatstroke, tortured knees, kua-li face, or all of the above. G was appalled with her question "u mean u dun even put on a little bit of makeup?" *sighz*

meanwhile, i luv my boho dressing. simple, comfy n fuss-free... makes me who i am. *chuckles* but the lust for power suits still lingers....

of taxi-drivers

there has so far only been 3 occasions when i refused to thank the taxi-drivers b4 i get off the cabs.

1. a seemingly drunk? not too alert? senile? driver.
that was totally nitemare leaving my legs jelly upon arrival back home. experience written down somewhere in blog last year.

2. he went on as many highways as possible before getting me home.
tt was just last tues after CG. was rushing to get home. got cab from tanjong pagar. i cant rem wat the route shld b, but am absolutely sure he took d wrong oneSS. He took ECP (which is not exactly rite oredi), nvm. he exited near beach rd (when he shld hv done either a fort road or katong one), nvm. went into beach rd and turned into nicol highway (when he cld hv headed straight into lavender/kallang).nvm. from nicol highway he exited from geylang (when he cld hv done a paya lebar).... i was too tired so i only realized the wrong turns after they were made. thankfully he was a reckless driver. so i did not get home too late.

3. he drove at a freaking snail's pace.
i cld hv taken a bus. might hv taken d same amt of time at a fraction of the cost. got lift from mommy n cabbing from ard her place. tis old man, the meter barely moved beyond 40km/hr. thankfully d distance was not too long... if not, i cld hv died....

ask me to choose between driver #3 (slow driver does not mean safe driver) and a typical cabby (reads: reckless speeder).... gimme the latter. *laughs*

cloud gazing

i brought one class cloud gazing to show them wat cumulonimbus clouds really looked like. syllabus has changed such tt tt's d only cloud they learn abt. anywayz,tt day was perfect for cloud gazing. clouds appeared in their various stages of formation into a towering giant cauliflower. told them how i used to 'smoke' my frens telling them whether a heavy rain will ensue within a day based on the shape & height of the cumu clouds. fri told them either fri nite or sat heavy rain... and it rained heavy alrite last nite.

when i told them abt d rain i was tinking, oh no, but God tom we are gonna watch movies openair... rain can rain rite time? it rained close to the time movies were to b screened. but just before tt. so by the time movies were due to roll, rain had stopped. when i told FL abt the heavy rain, i wasn't extremely worried cos i knew rains from cumu clouds only last short while - 1 or 2 hours at most. talk abt how God really works in the physical laws of nature. lol...

but i did not leave the nite feeling happy.... i felt blue. hv some inkling idea wat caused the blueness, but they are many small issues which i hv chosen to brood on. so move on. wat helps me move on... the reminder that i'm just a passerby...

"All these faithful ones ........ saw it all from a distance and welcomed the promises of God. They agreed that they were no more than foreigners and nomads here on earth. And obviously people who talk like that are looking forward to a country they can call their own. .... But they were looking for a better plce, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a heavenly city for them" Heb 11: 13 - 16

Yeah. Been reading Hebrews. Its a great book to start one from the beginning to looking to the end. Meanwhile integrating this book into the fast-paced life constantly filled with urgent matters to look into is a challenge.

Truly humbled

I do not even noe where to begin.

No, I haven't been like really 'passionate' or 'on' or 'super-duper-filled-with-the-Holy-Spirit' sort of thing. But big things the Lord has revealed to me in small matters.

He has called me for a purpose. I am created to worship Him. I am called to be an extension of His hand. He will empower me for His purpose. He has won the battle and I enjoy His victory.

I had been living a defeated life. I think little of myself, in the area of work esp. (well, nothing wrong with that. i am little but He is big). I have allowed the 'mini-me' to shadow my big Dad. I hv allowed the spirit of delay to hold me back.

No longer so. Thro small things, my gracious and faithful Dad has shown me big things. mini-me doesn't matter. Daddy will pave the way and use mini-me. In fact, within the past 5 days He has chosen me to put into His jigsaw, little pieces into place. He brought a seeker for me to speak to, He put gals who wanted to noe more abt Christianity for me to spend time with, He brought gals from my class to approach me to pray, He made me lead a short worship. I'm not boasting, for I have nothing to boast about. I am humbled by how even tho i'm really truly so unworthy, so 'not ready', so 'not on fire'... all He asks is obedience... and He will empower for His kingdom. I am truly humbled.

My prayer is Father, unveil my eyes to see You, my ears to hear You. May my eyes never depart from You, my heart always close to Yours. Teach my Your heart, Your will, Your word. I claim Your promise You have spoken in Hebrews that You will reveal Your word in the minds and hearts of Your children. Give me the strength to carry forth Your tasks to love, the wisdom to know how to love, and Jesus' heart. Amen.

Term 2 Week 3

Monday
NAFTA day for the kids. Spent d entire afternn timing shuttle run. different perspective being the timer. I finally bought a new bible. After giving away the small one to my trek guide in nepal, i hv been surviving w tis really old big bible. i noe all bibles are the same, but d feel is different. it din feel so 'special' or 'personal'. So invested in one. Not cheap. but an investment. metal cased NLT.

Tuesday
Meetings day. Staff meeting followed by meeting for china trip in jun followed by d CG. Was late and left early. Exhausted.

Wednesday
Went for a session in another sec sch in the afternn and rushed for worship prac. pretty fun prac.

Thursday
Uneventful day which was good. needed the rest.

Friday
had lunch out at parkway w the trainee and contract teachers. bought a workbag. totally zonked out for the week. struggled to keep awake til ten and concuzzed.

Saturday
morn spent ironing away. afternn spent baking. evening at fort canning for ballet under the stars. it was like picnic style. me like it. later hung out w FL and her fren. its farnie how i ended up explaining stuff abt Christ. I mean... i'm like... me? its been a long long long time.

Sunday
Tough worship sessions. very sleepy cos got home late yest nite, plus mozzie attack. so cldn't sleep. song service somemore. so no w i'm gonne hit the sack

woke up late

and almost missed service or attended another church's service.

in d end went for service late. for once, in a long while, i was able to concentrate on d sermon.

nonetheless, i'm no saint still. i still cannot stand my sister. (refraining from use of word 'detest'). patience tested.

back to school... back to marking.. .haiz.... i hope i dun screw up.

Music playing... inside my room... while raining cool outside...

Its been an eventful week. Some highlights:

1. I passed my First Aid test on Thursday night.
The test took longer than usual becoz the examiner whom the entire class couldn't stand deliberately tested us on things we weren't taught! And he was a mean old man who thot the world of himself. In any case, we did not end w a happy note cos just as we were leaving one lady lost her HP. it was apparently stolen. the irritating examiner did nothing to help. he just let pple from other class walk out. only our class were nice enuff to stay. stuck there for longer than expected. but still... i passed.. and i even aced my class for the theory section!

Really thank God. Farnie as in, in this 'small matter' of first aid, my impression is i need to do my part in studying. but pple ard me keep telling me... PRAY... yeah.. of course pray, but i need to do my part too dun i?

2. Put to use my first aid knowledge the following day.
msged SHR to tell her i passed. she was farnie. out of humor, she replied 'yeah, tom u r ready to save lives in the sports meet'. urm... 'prophecy'... *laughs* i ended up doin bandage for a colleauge and helped her cos she was feeling faint. i mean i actualyl noewat to do!! i do feel gd tt i was able to not just feel concern.. but also noe wat to do...

3. some of my guitar club gals are actually afraid of me!
*laughs* they dun dare to hand in forms to me when late. wld rather pass to the other tr. MUA HA HA. FINALLY! some kids afraid of me! sadistic rite? actually happy studnets afraid of me. ke ke ke. but i do need that my gosh! if only more are afraid. *chuckles*

4. Tuesday CG
It was nice. haven't worshipped w pple like tt for a while, just sitting on the floor in a circle... w only guit accomp. reminds me of my CF and church youth days. praying tog in smaller grps gave me a strange familiar but yet unfamiliar feeling. but timing is not very ideal cos they end very late. and anywayz, i'm still not sure. need to ask Him whether this is the grp.

5. Fri
Yest was mad. Had Sports Day after which rushed gals for a prac in the SCH. just being in the venue itself made them tense and they cldn't perform up to std. worrying. currently not gold std. i wld give them a silver. but we hv the hope of achieving gold. 1. they can perform if we cont to push for the last 3 weeks. 2. we hv the grace of God. He noes wats best.

Den rushed for massage w HZL we had been planning long long ago.. and overdue for a month. thereafter, we had dinner at kfc. we spoke openly abt our religions. she listend to me talk abt my exp in Christianity. i listened to her and her views abt Islam. in fact, she told me she was glad one of her class gals received Christ cos she tinks pple need religion. But God, how do i do my part as a fren of hers?

6. Meanwhile, gonna b really busy w many things due soon. and we are just starting our plans for the kunming trip in 10 weeks. only had our first meeting yest! gosh...

So tt's enuff update. hv to move on to work oredi. :)