Musician's Prayer

God, please bless my music
That it might glorify Your name
May using it to serve You
Always be my aim.

Let it be a witness
To Your majesty and love,
And remind us that You're watching
From Your throne.

May others see Your beauty
In every note they hear,
And when they hear my music
May they feel Your presence near.

Oh Lord,I ask for guidance
In everything I do
And pray You'll make my music
An instrument for You.
Amen.

Ramona K. Cecil

kiss me honey honey kiss me....

Honey has been known for its healing properties for thousands of years - the Ancient Greeks used it, and so have many other peoples through the ages.
Even up to the second world war, honey was being used for its antibacterial properties in treating wounds...

(BBC News)

Other possible uses for honey I've learnt:
- helps alleviate diaheara and constipation (depends on temp of water)
- detoxifies disgestive system
- conditioning skin and hair
- soothes sore throat

I've been drinking loads of honey from Mon - Wed... WHy? Major loss of voice. My msn nick has been "tao-sa voice giraffe" and "sexy-voice giraffe" this week. *laughs* It was a mistake.... Halfway thro lunch one day, suddenly, maybe bathroom call... out of the blue.. den i realize.. must be the honey... AND worse...

Just yest, I looked into the mirror in the morn and *gasp* pimples! pimples! everywhere... over the day it got WORSE. even now... i was wondering y at first when SUDDENLY it DAWNED on me... its the DETOXIFYING property of honey... humbug..... i'm off honey today.... *grumbles*

Meanwhile, getting hooked on Camel Natural Cocktail Mix (Fribre Rich & No Salt Added, No cholestrol n Trans Fat free) and RollGold Pretezels... *grins*

Moonlighting...

This morn, for my sch's event, I had to do prelude with another gal. So was just whacking the piano. A little stressful, cos u noe... if u slip, pple might complain... and expectations from others are high (they seem to tink i'm really good)... so i just 'played safe', nothing too experimental.

got a lift from TBK to ard my place. she made an interesting comment. she asked me y i did not consider moonlighting and playing for lounges...

i was like 'do u noe one of my ambitions is to be a lounge pianist?!?! but sadly, i'm not quite up to standard. not enough training, exposure, experience and technical expertise'.

TBK was very encouraging. i was a little inspired... to go collate a few repetoires... but alas... other than the above factors, sg's mkt is too small to offer such opportunities.... maybe the day may come... perhaps... perhaps...

Meanwhile, i always let my frens noe (if u dunno, here's the announcement) that i can play for free for u guys/gals if u happen to wan a pianist for ur wedding @ the hotel during cocktail receptions. (urm... but dun expect pro stuff).

Ah ha ha... and tmrw, will b the sch dinner. haiz.. i hvn't gotten the selection of songs for the first dish, and the backgrd music yet.. sighz...

Other random events/thots:

- i realize i'm not as strong as i thot to be. moving on isn't tt easy. ana laffed at me when she read that comment on msn. she said we always think we are strong... but when its time... we realize we aint...

- went to watch the movie (some dupree show) w ag. it was farnie. we went little india b4 tt for threading and i got a new basket bag for myself ag promise to decorate for me. :) after the show, we popped by this fashion n i bought myself a haltor-like pokka dot dress.. retro baby...

- my other ambitions.. other than being a lounge pianist - journalist (which obvsiouly i cant make it.. check out my language) and humanitarian aid worker.

- i'd prob be going to kalimantan first 2 weeks of dec for a mission trip and india w ag n jj end of dec. nothing concrete yet. but planning.. AWESOME.

- jazz by the beach is back again... any one intersted for next and next next sat?

- humanities challenge.. is not even in a mess.. because we hvn't even gotten down to do the stuff.. and guess when it is? yeah.. MONDAY. freak.

- i'm fighting virus now...

- i'm thankful for all the pple ard me supporting me,... being there for me... ana, G, js, FL, ag, haz, shrn, ts, AO and all my msn khakis...

Imagine Me Without You - Jaci Velasquez

A song EC got for me - http://www.musicmorpher.com/music-store/imagine-me-without-you.htm

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

it is over....

moving on in life again... its strange to call it a new season... but i've gotta move on. gonna be a little weird cos i've made adjustments in my life for the other person... given up some of my interest... no time for running.... SUDDENLY i hv all these time back.... not tt i dun hv things in wk to stress over.. a LOT... but still.... still need to find some reorientation....

moving on...

get ur flags rite!!

some info snippet on Ch8, talking abt the children's day in other countries... when talking abt the countries' children's day, they showed the flags in the background.... jap... korea.... but when they were talking abt 'ge-lun-bi-ya', which sounds like columbia to me, they showed cambodia's flag.... wats going on? some QC pls....

freaking mobile bomb!

my mobile bills came up to almost seventy bucks! more than twice my usual amount! GOSH!

sept hols

has been awesome.

dive trip was interesting. saw HUGE moray, HUGE turtle, cuttlefish squirt ink, nurse sharks, pretty nudibranches, HUGE bumpheads, set fish free from abandoned fish trap, got lost w buddy n did our safety stop the primitive manner going 'one thousand two thousand three thousand...' til 3 mins, played with curious nemo (one just kept coming towards me - my mask n let me play with it), long and cold night dive. i'm sure i saw more things but forgot. tis is the first time i dun really log my dives properly. as in the way i usually journal. maybe there're just too much i no longer rem the details. but tis trip, i noticed the different colors and textures of the corals more than usual. awesome.

once again, we had pretty good company. somehow we just stay @ the immigration for long periods of time. en route to tioman, at the immigration, one gal realized she brought her old expired passport. we waited 1.5 hrs @ the checkpoint for her to cab home for it. luckily someone brought uno. so we played it, tekaning mohammark @ the same time, who kept waiting to play intercept like a little boy. when coming back, got stuck again cos we had 2 jap gals doing their owd w us. due to the imf, security in checking the foreigners' passports was tighter. after we cleared immigration and customs, we actually waited 45 mins before they cleared.

all in all, it was a good trip. minus the rocky boat @ night (hard to sleep), and the COLD water. water was colder than usual, made every dive more tiring. tink body compensating the loss of heat. and made every dive something one must psych oneself up before taking the stride.

on mon, went to sis's place to play w nephews. fun. took DN out to ntuc to shop. he's so adorable in the stroller.

tues, went town to help sis get her cosmetics while bringing JS with us. He actually slept in my arms while waiting for the salesperson test out the stuff on my sis's face. kewl. we went for tea at cedele, and had great time talking. i had great fun, fellowship and counsel from my wise sis.

wed. went jb w haz. we basically shopped, chilled, feasted and splurged. i got a pair of wedges, 3 tops, a pair of three-quarter slacks and a bag. we ate and ate. hungry or not. but it was great great fun. :) supposed to stay over, but din come to pass cos we cldn't get the hotel we wanted.

thurs (today). met stv for lunch, show - singapore dreaming and jalan. show's not bad. quite sad actually, but v real. typical pressurizing life here. poor stv was pretty sick so yeah, now i'm home, resting as well.

tmrw.... work... will be bringing kids out for perf. hv to start preparing for next wk's work. sigh.. i wish the hols neva end. i wish i can dive and dive and dive and dive. lol. as usual, en route there, i wasn't excited. i thot i had lost interest in diving. but NOooo... now when i'm back.. ah ha ha ha.... i wanna go dive again. but in warmer waters lah. lol.

anywyz, its been a fruitful hol. i cant believe so many days hv passed cos its so eventful. i'm really happy and grateful for the qlty time spent w pple i value. diving w sandfly, time w mom, nephews, sis, haz, stv. :) simply thankful.

so many things happening i dunno where to begin...

when do i noe its time i go for a hair cut?
1. last dec, when my sis who JUST gave birth (within 24 hours) saw me, of which her first words were 'your hair looks very dry, you should go cut it'.
2. within the last two weeks, two grps of students over separate occasions went:
kids: ms so-and-so, your hair is so long, why don't you go cut it?
me: i want to! but i have no time.
kids: we'll cut it for you! for free!
me: urm... no....
kids: now your hair so long like go for advertisement (i take that as joke, because my hair is dry).

anywayz, FINALLY, i just had a hair cut. like layered off almost half. ok that's too much. easily a third of my hair. now it just feels so light. shiok. much shorter. :)

Sept holidays are coming. Just last year during the same period of time i did my lasik! tis sept, i'll be diving w sandfly! :) and going to KL for two days w haz. awesome. totally looking fwd to it.

so wat else has happened?
my dear bro P got married. their wedding service was 2 hrs long, the longest i've ever attended. dinner was the latest, which started at 9pm and ended, hmm... close to 12am. *laughs* they've got a hilarious video clip presentation during dinner.

hvn't been exercising.. sigh.. but snacking a lot... double sigh...

cant say life hsn't been 'interesting'. i've just entered a new season of life, which to me, is actually a faith journey. it hasn't been smooth all the way. but i'm learning.

i just got 'chosen' to go for the trs' day rally tmrw. *grumbles* an evening gone. luckily i've gotten shrn to go w.

actually doesn't seem like so many things now. well, i'm waiting for project runway now!! wonder who'd win. santino must not win. i'm rooting for chloe! :)

women - stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

This is about three women.

ST can't take spicy food. When in Thailand, day after day, she attempts to order the papaya salad, 'mai-pad' (non-spicy). Day after day, the papaya salad that was served.... STILL TOO SPICY. EC only laughs at her stubbornness.

GW is allegic to fish, and fish cake (and otah, get the pic?). Few days ago during her visit to sg, she took fish cake. Ended up itching all over. EC n ST brought her for katong laksa today. She ate up the fish cake in the laksa and stubbornly ate the otah claiming that there's also otah in thailand. Minutes later, she started scratching herself.

EC laughed at ST and GW at their stubbornness. But she's no exception. While shopping for stuff for GW to bring home, EC bought dried mangoes. Mangoes in vinegar gives her rashes she calls continents. Dried mangoes are only slightly better. Just need a larger dosage to trigger the formation of continents. EC stubbornly bought the dried mangoes. ST and GW had to help her finish eating while walking.

WOMEN... stupidly stubborn or stubbornly stupid?

an eventful day

national day celebration in school
as per the past 2 yrs, i hv to lead community singing. the one in the parade was tough. imagine singing to the empty basketball court, with the students in classrooms behind u, far ahead of u and one corner of the basketball court. u get the point? a bit like gotai like that. lol
concert was much easier. how so? the gals were oredi so high so its not tough. i'm the sort who feeds on the atmosphere, so i was pretty high myself. lol. it's a 'virtuous' cycle. i can like shout to make it higher. feed on the atmosphere, get higher.. and so forth. after tt, pple dun believe i was nervous and hving cold feet before i went on stage. SERIOUSLY i was. but it was farnie. when we were abt to finish the list of songs to bring the mood to a climax, a note came to us. 'sing another song, food not here yet'. and we just got scraps of paper everytime a song was about to end. sing this. sing that. the climax was just up and down cos they were just trying to get the song tracks at the other end, and tes n i just had to stand there and look happy and cont as if nothing had happened. it felt like there's a war going on there, but we just have to look happy and good. AH HA HA HA.
anywayz, ag n haz dressed me up. it was fun. i got my white pants, and a white top tini gave cndy and cndy gave me long ago, which i chunked into my drawer until the nite before i suddenly recalled, hey.. there's this white top.... ag supplied me with her cute red belt, earrings and choker. haz got me orchid clips and did my hair. it was fun! i felt loved.... *sobs*
i was really happy not from pple's feedback tt the singing was fun for the kids. but shrn came to me and say that my class, like MY CLASS, the nonchalant ones, were the first to stand up during the community singing! and they were the ones who shouted encore. i din noe who were the ones who shouted 'go ms soandso' but... to hear that my class was supportive... i was so happy.

Sec 4 farewell @ EC
the pits were much further than expected. i bladed there w NR and a kid. the rest cycled. man, we had to pass by the killer slopes @ lagoon. i wanted to sit there and die. lol. but managed it. the farewell was fun. could hv improvements definitely. but not bad lah.

worship prac
and guess wat? i'm gonna do backup tis week. lol. they caled me last min when i was oredi out w my kids. short of singers. so i just went ok. kindof regretted a bit when i realized its TWO services. cos it was last min, i din hv stuff to change into. fortunately, haz bladed by the bbq pits later half. and just trying my luck i asked her 'u got extra top?' SHE DID. a tad small for me, but at lesat its clean for me to wash up and change into before i went for the prac. nice... got an unexpected note from a fren while i was @ HC's place washing up... but due to rush, cldn't tackle the issue. but good, cos not a good time to tackle it. prac ended EARLY. like at 10.10. WOW.

anywayz, it was really eventful. haiz... now just happy i can rest... but of course, i hv two weeks worth of ironing to do given i was busy the last two weekends. eeks...

fireworks....

i used to catch 'live' fireworks from my flat since young every national day. but usually i see 'half' the fireworks due to flats blocking. apparently, buildings get higher, so i dun even see a third of them now.

tis year however, i've gotten 'pretty close' to 'live fireworks' over three occasions so far.

1. new year's day
that was fun. i remembered. w AO n his pal, on the road @ cityhall area, stuck on the road w pple wathcing fireworks too... and on the fon w aom and tik etc.

2. closing of national arts fest
i did not expect fireworks. it was @ CCK. there was a nice performance by a spanish grp. i've neva been THIS CLOSE to fireworks EVER BEFORE! awesome.

3. today, during intermission of the concert, fireworks! i happened to be out w EC n Kaew when suddenly 'BOOM!" it all begun. it was a disappointing start. i thot it was crap.. but it progressed, WOW. pity i missed quite a bit cos of the trees. but for those high enuff.. man, they've really gotten new stuff this yr for NDP. i saw @ least 4 new differen ttypes! awersome

meanwhile, the scab on my knee kindof accidentally got brushed off. man... scar. drats. CONCERT IS OVER! and i'm seriously relieved. there's still the NDP. but i dun care.. i'm just gonna chill tmrw. bringing kaew out.

there was a 'split second' thing that happened yest when i went to watch a musical @ stvn's sch. ha ha.. LL asked me to pray for a sign. AH HA HA...

tired.....

wat a day....

woke up from an exhausted week. ag texted me for lunch @ arab str. so thot i might as well bake for her, ana and fel when i go for jazz tonite. so baked.

went to arab str to hv a nice lunch w ag. i bought a really pretty dress! ag and ana says it was a steal at 20 bucks. but i paid almost that amount for a matching belt. LOL. so much for a steal. but i love it and look fwd to putting it on, after ana does some magic to make it fit me better.

met fel and hmd @ sentosa. fel n i went for a dip in the dirty sg waters. i cant believe i actually went into it. but nonetheless, who cares, as long as it feels good.

jazz tonite was horrid. it wasn't jazz. it was more blues and rock. they said its funk. i dun tink so. the 'lead' singer was omigosh.. in my words a tree trunk. total eyesore. i thot he was a poser. i mean, music-wise they are seriously not bad. but lack showmanship, particularly the tree trunk. i'm not sure if he tink he's cool that way... but its just hard to enjoy a performance when u look and right at centre stage is someone who cant literally MOVE to the groove.

anywayz, there's only so much blues that one can take in a day. it just sounds the same after a while (unless u hv a super zhai band). so hmd, fel n i decided to go to the musical fountain halfway thro the jazz perf. (we got inspired after we spoke to two american tourists and suggested they visited the fountain.) fel broke her slippers. so, to show wat frenship is all abt, hdm n i decided to go ard w her barefooted. so, without our slippers, we went to the carpark (i cldn't help leaping as if i was doing ballet. everytime i go barefooted, i just feel like dancing. cant help it!)

waited for the bus to sentosa. stv just arrived. but we left him @ the terrace w the kids he brought along. board the bus. an indian fatherly guy (with his family) saw us barefooted as we squeezed up the bus excitedly. i was trying to capture our feet on my camerafon. and he laffed a bit. we were happy he laffed. lightens up the mood. everyone's relaxed n happy. when we reached the musical fountain, the driver announced 'ferry terminal, musical fount...'. spontaneously, fel, hmd n myself just went 'YAY'. so the driver responded with '... fountain, YAY'. lol everyone on the bus laffed. it was nice...

like kids, we ran all the way to the fountain. it feels nice. with the breeze, nite time, open skies, stars, little lights, fountains along the way, we just ran... and laffed... ran and laffed... as if that place was our secret garden... and the musical fountain did not disappoint us. the entire mix of being barefooted, two pony tails, fantasy and magic music plot of the fountain, and the physical landscape... totally made me feel like a kid all over again!

den we squeezed on another bus and went back to siloso beach to meet stv n his kids. had to endure more of those music again. finally... we made our way out of the magic island....

BOOBOO... usual... i see one thing.. my brain thinks of another thing. i misread teh bus no. got up the wrong bus. instead of taking the highway, i ended up touring sg's town area. man..... it totally doubled the time taken to go home. but i'm grateful at least the wrong bus i took do take me somewhere near my home, rather than somewhere i'm totally lost. so it cld hv been worse. BUT... when i reached where i shld alight, I MISSED THE STOP. tell me abt booboo.. when it rains, it pours... and at the same time on the bus, my mom called and we had a sort of 'argument' which left me just frustrated. anywayz, i decided to walk home from the wrong busstop. it was a about 25 mins walk.. but i did it nonetheless. ( i just walked from geylang to stadium waterfront yest cos i lost my way again. wats wrong w me).

so now i'm home... tired... tired from chilling.. gd gracious.. but i'm happy i had a day off... before... AH HEK HEK HEK.. dun wanna tink....

princess of a magical island...

"barefooted, we roamed our little island, venturing into the little discovered nooks and corners. the sensations from the different textures of the ground makes me start going into hops, twists and turns, prancing and dancing ard like a ballerina. we took the bus, filled with people from different walks of life, and brought some cheer to them with our own from the sense of being free to express ourselves. that, brought a smile to myself everytime i tink of the smiles we brought. we arrived at a place where i recall, yet unfamiliar from distance in time. it was quiet. it was grand with carefully crafted symmetry, pillars and fountains. we ran, and ran, towards the unseen ahead, which we knew promises us more magic. running fwd and upwards in the cool, with darkness interspersed with beautifully-liting, we reached where we noe we will gasp with more wonder. the swaying strings of water dancing to the beat of the music, fireballs hurled into the sky, and the colors of a fantasy island, i found myself truly feeling like a princess of a magical island..."

YOYO

1. emotional yoyo
taking my form class is liken playing with the emotional yoyo. one day they are up, next day they are down. being complete human, i cant say i'm not affected by their mood swings. stepping into class n u can sense the 'qi'. the last i wrote abt my gals, they encourage me. since then, major downswings hv occurred, completely draining me of my emotions and energy. each time one hits me like this morn, i am so reminded that i have to be strong within, if not, i cannot help them. in their instability, they require stability and i hv to be one of those. of course, i am reminded too that this strength and peace can only come from Him.

2. mental yoyo
work is just so.... multi-faceted. it is so totally true that there's not one day in a teacher's life that is boring. Within a split second (ok, that's exagerating), within mins, at the 'call of the bell', 'call of the student', 'call from the office', etc. etc., suddenly you change your role completely., have to switch one's brains from one mode to another. Just today, i juggled between marking for a couple of mins, dealing with a discipline case, running the concert rehearsal, counselling, teaching geog, teaching music, tackling colleagues and a DEMANDING instructor.... that doesn't include having to draw from scratch a stage layout, take the contractor's measuring tape and measuring out the school hall, and directing gals to tape out an imagery stage on the floor yest. doesn't include being the 'judge' in auditions for dsa i was like informed real last min. and the list goes on. in a snap of one's fingers, you just hv to change ur mode. sometimes it works. sometimes, it still doesn't work.

3. personality yoyo
ok... i tink i'm a super candid person. a 'real' person. tt's something i pride myself in. tho... i tink sometimes i do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut and hold back some of my outbursts of emotions and actions. BUT... in sch, i can suddenly become a task-oriented person. i'm a v pple-person. hate taking charge. hate running stuff. but if i hv to do it, i realized i 'yoyo' to become this authoritative person. totally drains me out. but yeah.... tt's wat happens in sch... tt's wat happened today. can u imagine me trying to organize a bunch of over 200 kids today and tackle a DEMANDING instructor? sometimes u just gotta be mean.

just totally exhasuted.... waiting for sept to come... no. just waiting for the next two weeks or so to pass.

i hope the wound on my knee doesn't leave a scar... eeks....

lakeside house does not hv the most original plot, but nice nonetheless....

i must watch my choc. intake.

i tink chloe's great. santino should be voted out.

yoyo...

another tsunami....

it just neva ends does it....

in any case, wats been happening tt i can rem offhand....

ok... there's js's bday party @ mos... like 2 sats ago? had to wear pink.... put in so much effort to get pink stuff... onli to be greeted by a 'marginal pass'. wah rau... but on the whole, i had some fun. sandra was so sweet to accompny me... ended up @ her place to watch soccer. ok.. tt was the plan.. but we ended up sleeping during halftime (and the action only began the 2nd half.. darn)... had a nice chat b4 i went to church the next morn... yeah i managed to wakie for church... but nice chat...

spent my last weekend totally sick. sick starting fri morn. condition aggravated in the pm. by the time i got home from work @ 7pm, i was so down i was in bed by 7.30. hopeful me stil hope to recover by 9.30pm to get up to go for churhc's overnite prayer watch. of course cldn't get up lah. but had to drag myself up @ 6am the next morn to bring my kids for CIP. once they set up their stalls, settled in properly, i went home man... slept again... or TRIED to. strangely, tired as one may be, its difficult to sleep. managed to recover well enuff for jazz by the beach in the evening w mlvn. the rest of the gang all played me out... sighz...

church on sun was led by the youth. must say i'm impressed... they really hv the heart of worship. awesome. but to stay on for the 3rd service was too challenging for me. i was just exhasuted, despite all the sleep i've been getting over the previoius two days. and i wanted to recover properly before week starts... so went home... but somehow got lured to watch pirateds of the carribean after i saw the making of the movie on tv. so got stv to go watch the show w me. its simply hilarious... but while watching the show, engrossed in the fairytale world with adventures, white sand, emerald waters, highlands, waterfalls... etc, i recalled that in less than 12 hours i'll be in school.. OMIGOSH... two worlds apart...

nv has been trying to get the oldies from church youth to meet up @ our old hangout CC. looking fwd to it, tt's IF we can actually all make it at the same time... seems like a challange now... speaking of which, wed prac with some of the oldies was great... there was adr, KY, NV... really like back to the old days.. i see the pwpt presenation by the FL on sun, reminds me of wat we've gone thro in the past... seriously... i cant help *wow*ing at how much energy we used to hv... wat the kids hv now... awesome power man.... now... ah ha h aha.... once i dun hv enuff sleep... i'm down... sighz....

alrite... jsut some random thots and anyhow typing... because.. i dunno wat i'm tinking anymore..

anywayz, jazz by the beach again this sat. band: walking on waters.... who's gonna b there?

He can use my boo boo....

Its a crazy thing... but I did it anyway.

I just left tuesdies earlier at 1030pm so i can come home early to sleep. but ALAS! no cab! they are all on call. I thot soccer season was over, so i shldn't hv a prob getting a cab.. but no... soccer season is over, cab fares have been raised, i still cant get a cab. i was walking ard al the junections and different sides of the road.. man...

so... den later there was two angmos in front of me walking... they den crossed over to the other side of the road. and they managed to get a cab! but see.. the cab stopped.. and they walked away... the cab moved away and stopped. so i thot they din wan the cab anymore.... so i ran across the road, (dun care of how i look or cars anymore, i just wanted to get home.) got in the cab and told the driver where to head. cab driver turned back and said that angmo is taking the cab. den the door opened and the angmo was like... i'm still taking this cab.. i was like... OOPS... so i got out of cab and apologized and explained i thot they were leaving. he said he was saying bye to his fren and signaled the cab to wait. cab moved fwd cos he was at some road junection or watever...

but the angmo was realy a gentleman i must say. he asked me where i was heading and since both of us were heading east, we shared the cab, and i'll drop off first. there was awkward silence @ first. so i spoke to the driver and asked abt how getting cabs at that time would usually b like to gauge better for next time. cab driver was nice and started talking to me. it wasn't long before the angmo joined in the conversation of how it was tough getting cabs, and how according to the driver,some pple try to cheat the cab drivers on call. angmo even told us wat he did during the soccer finals. he cldn't get a cab for over an hour. in the end he stopped one on call and offered extra ten bucks. the cab driver accepted and called his regular to say he'll be 20 mins late... lol angmo claims he felt bad.. but hey.. more htan an hour of waiting?

anywayz, that ws that. paid for my cab after a messy discussion w the cab driver and angmo how we shld split tis. angmo offered to pay.. but i rejected because he oredi did me a favor. so anywayz... it was kindof crazy... but hey... i tink if everyone were nicer in life, society would be a better place.

anywayz.... when i reached home i realized something.... it seemed like a big boo boo on my part. thanks to the graciousness of angmo.. i din hv to suffer as much. BUT i recalled.. while waiting 'hopelessly' for a cab, i prayed in my heart for a cab. it would be like 'super lucky' or a 'miracle' if there was a cab. but i prayed in my heart for a cab....

God provides in strange and unexpected manners.. the way He did this time.. and I also learnt.... that He can use my boo boo... well... i'm a boo boo queen... sometimes i fear doing big things cos i'm afraqid of screwing things up... but this was just a small reminder that Hey God can use my boo boo! how? i dunno yet.. anywayz. i goota sleep man.. laterz..

i feel blessed....

small things make me feel that i'm blessed...

1. i baked cookies for my class for youth day. i tink they liked it. at least they say it smells good. lol. even adr waited for me to finish CT w the rest to collec tthem from me. i'm beginning to see some pple change... not drastically... but still... just the small smiles... just saying they'll try (one or two of them do)... even when they give crap reasons when i get them to do stuff... even when talking to them seems like hitting blank walls during the MM but yet at the end, by God's grace all turned out gd for them and i felt like a proud mommy...

2. spoke to srl after CT yest. just gave her advice... based on my life experience. to see her try to internalize wat i've told her... and appreciating the advice... it makes me feel i hv a purpose in sch.... more than just paper.. awards.. paer.. event...

3. on my way back today (one of those great 'lottery' days i get to leave early), cs came and talk to me @ the busstop. its like... HUH? kids avoid us. and i hvn't taught her for 1yr. only music. her class has always been a challenge. she came and asked me y i wasn't teaching them music anymore. and i just had a simple conversation w her. but it was very very nice...

i feel so blessed because suddenly, out of the silly frenzy of school events, i find these small episodes of time with people so precious, so meaningful. THey may not be long. They may not be life changing. THey may not be huge. but they meant something. these things make me find joy in my job... thank you Jesus.

have been so busy running all over in life. i'm talking abt more than just work. i am learning... to be myself again... to be who i was... when people mattered a lot more to me... when i was sure of myself... when i used to noe my gifts and strengths... when i knew wat my focus was... except i cant be myself totally the way i was in the past. like pple do change... so... finding myself in the new self... watever that means... lol

back to the old days of cassette tape...

it was a surprise find. i was packing my stuff yesterday and came across a couple of cassette tapes, long before CDs were the mainstay. i found a favorite tape of mine called We Draw Near, by Hosanna Music, worship leader Marty Nystrom.

today, i just realized that my the vcd player in my mom's room plays cassette tapes. talk about old school! i had a pleasant time singing along that particular one which i bought at least 5 years ago. its still my favorite. songs offer nothing 'cool'. simple, but .... its all about Him.....

i enjoyed the time... going back to the simple. remembering that all these are just temporal... our job.. is to seek, wait, glorify Him... living it out in the hectic world is a challenge. but hey, whoever said its easy?

anywayz, here's one of the songs. not my most fav from the tape. but a gd start to the beginning of school again.

Rest In Your Love
Gary Sadler

Chorus:
I will rest in Your love
Put my trust in Your goodness
And set my thoughts on peaceful things above
I will cast away my cares
And find my joy in Your presence
I will rest, I will rest
In Your love

Whom shall I fear
Why should I worry
Your grace is enough for my need
Your joy is my strength
Your peace is my shelter
You faithfully watch over me

All of my doubts
All of my striving
By faith I lay down at Your Throne
Your Word is my shield
Your Spirit my power
You tenderly care for Your own

I will rest
I will rest
In Your love

living it out to the fullest....

i've been hving fun tis week.... its quite a week.... living it out to the fullest b4 the imminent crazy work begins...

sunday - cheryl's wedding
ana n i were out the entire day... somehow, we were suddenly roped in to become the sisters... the 'highlight' of the event was how ana n i were so super hungry as we did not hv time to eat sufficiently. so while waiting w cheryl in the hotel room, we were eyeing the truffles so so so badly... we even went down to the lobby, in the hope of finding some food to buy. to our dismay, no food's for sale. in the end, i just eyed the fruit basket, went to cheryl and asked:
xt: cheryl, do you like bananas? (easiest to consume wat!)
cheryl: xt, wat are u tinking.... *suspicious look*
xt: *innocent look* no.. do you like bananas?
ana: cheryl, its xt. she wldn't tink of that sort of thing.
xt: we are really hungry, can we have the banana?
ana and i just shared the fruit... we took alternate bites, and before you noe it, its gone. pretty hilarious.

mon - ana's 'THE' shoe got chewed
planned to pack my plce and work in sch. but cos of ana's crisis, changed plan. packed my plce a lit'l and went down town to see wat we can do w the pair of shoes. bought a pair of jeans and a little pouch @ the same time. well... no more shopping soon anywayz... so spend while i can? :P

tues - sch & tuesdies
was in sch the entire day working on the exam paper. sigh. so much bad log. but i shant tink abt it til mon. aha! had dinner w HC n her hubby. almost did not make it for tuesdies. but did not regret it. it was good.. presence of God always there... only, i'm the one who falls short. went home feeling happy for a while.

wed - run, acsi,
had an early morn run. brought gals to acsi for exchange prog. got a little unhappy abt something. but its trivial and over. left slightly earlier. wat i did thereafter... i can't rem.

thurs - acsi, hosp, mos
in acsi again. went for my final eye check-up appt. according to doc, i've gotten zero degrees on both eyes. but sadly, 50 degrees of astig for both too. still.. its better than lenses. watched stepford wives on dvd. crap show. nicole kidman is gorgeous! was pretty tired so almost pulled out of dinner n mos w fel. but i din wanna 'fly plane' as much as i cld... so since she'd rather i skipped dinner n met her later (which wasn't my pref), i did it her way. was in mos w tes, fel, and some new 'frens'. it was interesting. not my type of music, but after i got bored sitting ard, i joined them dancing. js brought me ard the plce. wasn't as big as i thot it was. den again, wat do i noe abt clubs? *laughs* i was so dazed i even forgot to introduce him as my fren, and left w him for a while, leaving fel freaked out and according to her, praying in tongues for me. it was hilarious. along the way, mom got real pissed off w me. she got freaked out by my dad who frightened her, tinking i was in trouble cos i did not pick up my mobile when she called. (like i cldn't hear my fon!) anywayz, we settled the issue the next morn. when'll she let me grow up? sigh. had an interesting online conversation w js after i got home. he got me tinking if i shld start the penguin affair. but i tink not.... i can't handle it, n i noe. *laughs*

fri - slept in, close of arts fest perf by spanish grp @ CCK, world cup, supper w tuesdies @ holland v.
i was only supposed to go CCK. its really far! further than jurong! but i thot, heck, i must make full use ot the time left. after the the perf, by default i ended up @ mg's place watching soccer. tunisia vs ukraine. i dun understd the rules of the game, except when the ball passes the goal post into the net, its goal. i hv no idea why sometimes its still a no goal even when the above condition's met. they call it offside. watever. but i cld tell that the game was slow, and pretty boring. a lot of free kicks and yellow cards apparently. 'it was played @ pedestrain's pace', aptly put by the commentator. we had wings, crackers, choc, and osim i-squeeze to add on to the game. *laughs* somehow, i managed to by default go to holland v for supper. (well, i din wanna get home too, cos my sis was staying over.. so...) supper was gd. met up w pple i hvn't met in a while from tues, ken n kel. gd catching up. met quite a no. of few folks too... like hnh, trc, stv... got home late enuff not to c my sis awake. :P gd evening.

sat - major cleanup of wardrobe n table, tea w bong srey CL, run, baked brownie for tom's dive, major blogging to rem a gd week passed by...
CL smsed me in the morn to ask if i was free for tea. PERFECT day. any earlier, i'm not ard. any later, i'll be busy. PERFECT. we had great conversation over tea n supermkt shopping. spending time w her, talking to her, reminds me that there's a bigger real world out there. puts my feet back on the ground... where many other pple make their living... put their feet down on as well. i was hving fun in my life. not wrong. just that, occasionally, i do need someone in the field out there to remind me, there's a real world out there, in need of those who would go. besides the diving, suppers, deadlines, fellowship, catching up... came back for a late run. thot i'll run in case i prob hv no more time to run next week on.

tmrw - doing a reefcheck dive. feeling kindof lazy now. well... but i tink it'll change tom... my last event before..... argh....

i only ask for grace, for wisdom and for strength in the coming weeks.... that i will also be a source of grace, wisdom and strength for others... so they may see Him....