yeah, i shld be typing away on my school work

but i went to check out AG's blog and came up with this.



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

that woman is so artistic my goodness, God isn't fair. *laughs*

I don't want to work anymore!!!

plans for nov/dec vacation

i hvn't updated this here tho some pple are oredi aware.

nope, i wldn't be heading to india. EC and i hv decided to go to Thailand instead. we will be joining a local volunteer center that is working on the rebuilding of the lives of those affected by the tsunami which hit last year, on my birthday. a year has passed. many pple ask me, huh? why are you going there? but really, it takes time for communities to be rebuilt. wat am i gonna do there? i hv no idea. i hope *fingers cramped from crossing* that they wouldn't make me teach. maybe picking up litter, *laughs*, maybe painting, maybe teaching, maybe diving ;). Honestly, i hv no idea. all i noe is, as a volunteer, i have availed my time. its not wat i wanna do, its wats needed there.

is it a pity to give up india now that i've actualy found a companion to go with me? it wasn't an easy decision. but the way i look at it: i have heaven ahead where i tink i can do a lot of nice things. but in heaven, i will not have the blessed opportunity to be God's hands to bless. This, I can now do on earth. Is it worth it? I dunno. Is He pleased? I hope so.

in any case, if you would like to contribute in monetary terms (i've written in to enquire what they want... old clothes etc etc... but they cited financial support), i can be your 'tranferer' to transport your contribution for their works there to rebuild lives. u can pass me your contribution if you trust me. :)

meanwhile, i just realize i'd better start bucking up and get my school admin and planning work started. if not, i'll really be crushed by the paper mountain. *laughs*

great ideas

i realize i do hv some good ideas pertaining to work... can possible amount to big stuff.. have some contacts....

unfortunately, i also realize i lack the courage and confidence that i can pull those things through. hence, the ideas neva got put to use. i mean, such a BOOBOO person, how wld i noe i wldn't create a booboo if i decide to embark on these bigger things? i oredi booboo on small things i've set out to do... sometimes even if its not my fault, still i dun carry out a good job. of course, partly cos of my incompetency.

sigh. wats the use of having ideas when you cant carry them?

on the brighter side, fieldwork is finally possibly formally introduced into my school. maybe the small lichen research plus some psyching done to my boss did help. we are considering doing proper field stuff for the entire level next year. i'm supposed to conduct a recce and briefing for my colleauges next year too before we set off for this attempt. but whether things will turn out that way, and whether i wldn't mess things up.... we'll see lor...

all over the place...

last thursday, was in arab street w a bunch of colleauges. it was KUEH KUEH GALORE!!! i was so happy eating all the weird kueh kuehs. but alas, ended up with LS....

on sat, went to jb w EC. bought like FOUR pairs of shoes. we took it slow. stuck to only one place. so it wasn't as tiring. ate my ayam kuleg. ha ha ha

tis afternn, went to little india w haz to get my brows threaded and bought TWO BIG skirts. u noe lah, my obsession with big long skirts.

in case anyone thinks i'm very free, i cannot be bothered to explain my case. go think watever you wan, pple who always just happily think that teachers are free in the afternoons, free during exams, free after exams, free for all students' vacations.

Next entry: Two questions tt's tickling my brains.

Talks of earthquakes and tsunamis in Singapore

A group of geographer met up and discussed some updates from researches about the possibility of tsunami hitting Singapore. Much as many think we are safe from tsunami or earthquakes, who can be entirely sure?

The question posed would be, if a tsunami hits Singapore as suggested by a researcher, where would be the safest place in Singapore? While high-rise buildings found all over may be a refuge from the tall waves, the structure of the buildings may not be able to withstand the impacts of the waves, especially if the waves are amplified by the narrow channel along the Straits of Malacca.

The geographers' only choice (not that it was fantastic, but it was the best bet) was Bukit Timah hill. Afterall, its a lump of granite, stronger than the man-made concrete.

So I've resolved to work very very very hard to earn my million bucks to buy a piece of land at Bukit Timah, hmm, make it a piece of landed property just beside Bukit Timah HILL. Of course, I have to train to run up the hill, quick enough too.

the kueh lapis geography teacher

Teacher is an unglamorous job. Exciting things do happen, but nothing hip or glamorous. Sometimes I do look at myself and wonder what happened to me such that I am so unhip, uncool, and unglamorous. Worse when I end up spending more than half my time dealing with admin stuff at the expense of doing what I'm 'paid' or passionate about doing - developing the lives.

Yet, these couple of days, there are small things that reward me.

1. I was entering my lift after work and out came two of the gals I used to teach in MPSS more than two years ago. Immediately, they greeted me!! By the correct surname immediately!! I was like, WOW.

2. I got down the bus couple of nites ago and from the back, someone called me. I turned back to see another students from MPSS. Its not the first time we ended up in the same bus and walked back togehter to our flat. But its nice. He was in Sec 2 then. Now, he will be taking his O levels. We chatted and he told me he wanted to be a tamil language teacher.

3. I had a splitting headache dealing with the GIS project. Sent the gals to collect the data the second time today, only to have to deal with technical problems while they were away. Not the first time I was stuck for hours dealing with this software. Til now, the problem is not resolved. But when I saw how they learnt new things and the amazement on their faces (only to a certain extent lah), I'm glad they were able to learn something useful and applicable to life, out of the curriculum.

4. I just came home from a nite class with the current Sec 4s I taught Geography to last year. I thought they wouldn't ask me questions and would direct their queries to their current Geog teacher. To my surprise, we clicked back to when I left them. Some of them even told me they remembered my kueh lapis analogy in plate tectonics and weathering. I did not use this analogy this year. But really, am surprised it stuck with them. One even said she chose to study plate tectonics (which was one of the most challenging topics in Phy Geog) because of the kueh lapis. lol. Maybe I should use it next year again.
It was so pleasant, the couple of hours which extended later than the time scheduled passed so quickly. I'm like, hey, finally I'm doing TEACHING today! Beyond the filling in of forms, etc. etc. etc. It was comforting to see how they have come so far (urm, but still have more to catch up for their Os). I spend the last portion trying to inspire them with pictures I've taken and showing them the relevance of things happening to what they are studying, beyond the memory of facts from our txtbook author MC.

Sometimes I do wonder if I'm doing the right thing 'playing' with them just to inspire them to learn and experience new things instead of focussing on examination skills. I mean, I do do the latter, but see, I could have spent more time doing that rite? But yet, I cannot bear the thought of not exciting them about the many things in life. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know. Only time will tell.

Sandman

I looked at the coat of sand that has dried and lightly stuck on my feet. This look... reminds me of a person I met when I was little - younger than 6.

We were on the bus on the way to a bungalow for my maternal's family chalet. Somewhere in the north/east of Singapore, we transfered onto an old SBS shuttle bus.

I was sitting near the front of the bus, where there were two rows of seats facing each other. Apparently, the bus was travelling along the beach (I couldn't see the beach, well, by deduction). At a quiet stop, one man board the bus and sat on the row of seats facing me. I looked at him. I was shocked. He looked like some weird person with sand coated like all over him, even on his forehead. He was carrying a crew cut, and some of the sand were like falling off him as and when. Strangely, this strange being was eating a brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread. He looked scary, the Sandman. He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled and offered me his brightly colored swiss-roll-like bread after looking at me (probably?) stare at him. I was frightened and shook my head.

Perspective of sandman has changed as life moves on with new episodes of experiences for me. My guess now, Sandman was probably a teenager or even like army boy who got saboe-ed by his pals with 'mua-chee'. Like any usual being, sandy, he made his way home on public transport while munching on his food. (It was ok to eat on buses previously.) Sandman saw a young (cute?? actually 'gong-looking') girl staring at him and out of goodwill and well soft spots for kids?? offered his food.

Over twenty years has passed. I wonder where Sandman is. I wonder who Sandman is. In a weird sense, as I'm thinking of Sandman when I associated the coat of sand on my feet, there is only ONE Being in this whole wide world who knows the whereabouts of this Sandman. Of course, I'm sure Sandman do not remember this episode.

This episode strangely surfaced from my memory archives during my walk on Siloso beach today with Fel and her friend when we went for the Jazz by the Beach in Sentosa.

His Love Never Fails

Its hard to be 'joyful' when things just seem to go wrong despite the efforts one puts in. Rem the field collection we did on Teachers' Day? The data... was.... gone.... GONE..... A mth ago, brought guitar gals out for performance. Accoustics was bad..... BAD..... Tho my sis was getting married next year, just need to tahan half a year more... but... no.. the plan was different..... DIFFERENT..... Teachers' Day supposed to be the time u noe whether u hv made impact in kids' lives rite? but... it seems i haven't.... haveN"T....

And I'm supposed to say God is good. I mean, I'm His mouthpiece etc. right? And He will bless me so I can be a blessing rite?

It has been a tough couple of months. I hv been struggling to be a 'victorious' christian trusting Him. Yeah, I mean, of course I trust Him. After all, wat can go so wrong in the perspective of eternity?

Many things I desire, which are good,which are theoretically 'pleasing' in His sight. But yet... it wasn't enuff.

After the most recent episode of the disappearing data, honestly, I dunno wat He is up to. Hving to break the news to my boss, and worse, to the kids who went under the hot sun w me... was .....

Then, when i went for CG (after months, and i almost din make it again cos of the terrible episode), God revealed to me that... these things happened so I know how much He loves me and His love will neva fail me. How? I dunno. But I know and am reminded that indeed, all that I need is His unfailing love.

In any case, so amazingly, my gals took it very positivel when i broke the news to them. In fact, even tho i gave them the option of taking another teams' data (outside our vicinity) to work with, they chose to collect the data all over again, unanimously. I learnt grace. I learnt how sometimes, we just need to be more positive and b so hard on ourselves. But, i was really really encouraged, meaning, i shld get them something nice to affirm th em ey? *laughs*

His love neva fails... .... ...

10 Ways to avoid becoming a missionary

1. Ignore Jesus' request in John 4:35
that we take a long hard look at the fields. Seeing the needs of people can be depressing and very unsettling. It could lead to genuine missionary concern.(John 4:35 "Do you not say, `Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest."

2. Focus all your energies on socially legitimate targets.
Go after a bigger salary. Make your primary focus a job promotion, a bigger home, a more luxurious car, or future financial security. Along the way, run up some big credit card debts.

3. Get married to somebody who thinks the "Great Commission" is what your employer gives you after you make a big sale.
After marriage, plunge into the socially accepted norm of settling down, establishing a career and raising a family.

4. Stay away from missionaries.
Their testimonies can be disturbing. The situations they describe will distract you from embracing whole-heartedly the materialistic lifestyle of your home country.

5. If you happen to think about missions, restrict your attention to countries where it's impossible to openly do missionary work.
Think only about North Korea, Saudi Arabia, China and other closed countries. Forget the vast areas of our globe open to missionaries. Never, never listen to talk about creative access countries.

6. Think how bad a missionary you would be based on your own past failures.
It is unreasonable to expect you will ever be any better. Don't even think about Moses , David, Jonah, Peter or Mark, all of whom overcame failures.

7. Always imagine missionaries as talented, super-spiritual people who stand on lofty pedestals.
Maintaining this image of missionaries will heighten your own sense of inadequacy. Thinking that God does not use ordinary people as missionaries will smother any guilt you may feel about refusing to even listen for a call from God.

8. Agree with the people who tell you that you are indispensable where you are.
Listen when they tell you that your local church or home country can't do without you.

9. Worry incessantly about money.

10. If you still feel you must go, go out right away without any preparation or training. You'll soon be home again and no one can ever blame you for not trying!

adventure@hantu

0810 Arrived at RSYC by cab.

0830 Met the rest and we all split into 2 grps for 2 sites.

0930 At hantu reef. Saw a OWD course going on. And all joked how there would be no fish to record today cos all the fish will be frightened away.

1000+ Tape-layers descended, followed by fish 15 mins later. Inverts (my buddy n i) supposed to follow 15 mins later, but buddy did not hv mask, so hv to wait for tape-layers to surface to lend her mask. But ended up, we din get to dive at the beginning because.......

A CONVECTION RAIN CAME!!!
Geography lesson: Prior to rain, VERY STRONG drafts of wind. Rain is of high intensity (ouch) and short duration lasting between 1 - 2 hours.

What happened for us was very strong surface (and reported in the shallow waters we were dealing with as well) currents. Our little boat started to shift closer and closer to the breakwaters and we were abt to hit it. had to drag one fish-gal who lost her buddy out so the boatman can start the engine to move the boat before we hit the breakwaters. I saw with my own eyes a tree from the island break its trunk and fell into the sea. Anywayz, a huge HUGE barge was also drifting towards us and the boatman wanted us to get the rest out of water (LIKE WE CAN CONTACT THEM?!?) because it would be dangerous for them if the barge did drift any closer. Cant raff the engine to signal to them cos we need it to keep us away from the breakwater, so i resorted to the second (not too effective, in fact, not effective, just try lah) method of recalling the pple. Knocking metal to the ladder. Anywayz, it was rocky, painful (attack from the raindrops). F9inally, we got all of them up. I got totally wet, my wet suit's first saturation is rain water and not sea water. And ha, the rain subsided after quite a while, but within the 1 - 2 hours time frame. Next qns: to abort or not abort survey? Decision: Not.

1300+ I was cold n shivering even before i was in water. ANywayz, lost buddy once. Overweight. Too small BC. My BC cant inflate. @#$#&*(@ A pair of divers reeled up the first transect making my buddy n i lost for a while. Vis wasn't too bad for hantu. ave about 1.5m. Of course, when silt is stirred up, vis is 0.00m. Not bad lah.

1430 Finished survey. Got up. Had lunch. Served up brownie and fruits. lol. Waiting for bentic to surface.

1545 Left site. But we were heading further from mainland. reason: boatman went further to chekc on another boat which was grounded (hit coral). It was tilting pretty badly. Poor boatman gotta wait till high tide. And worse, a TANKER got grounded too. Many bigger boats (than ours) were like trying to drag it or something like tat.

1630 Arrived back at RSYC. Unpacked. Showered. Came home.

Wash gear Wash gear Wash gear.

Its a long entry. I noe its boring. But hey, now i can print this and stick it in my log book! dun hv to write again. lol

Meanwhile, marking starts tom. So will prob MIA for a while.

TiS d sEaSoN 2 b mArKiNg fA La lA La lA La lA La la.....

HA HA HA

i spent a bomb today.

bought a wet suit, a dress watch and a sports watch all in a day!

wet suit - black w some red trimmings here and there. its a cool wet suit. pity i become a mish mash mismatch of colors with my so-far blue and yellow combi of fins, mask, etc. No choice. I need my wet suit by tom, and its really nicely priced and the cut is nice. oh well, consolation: whichever buddy i hv will recognize me from a hundred other divers in the water.

dress watch - bought a dkny watch. crazy to spend the bomb. but tink its time i invest in a proper watch.

sports watch - always wanted one which has stopwatch function so i dun hv to rely on my ipod or mobile to check how much time i took to complete my run.

in case u tink i'm anyhow spending my money, tt's not true. my 'last' watch died on me during the week. i had to borrow a watch from a colleague for the rest of the week because i hv no time to get a watch. pathetic rite? from someone who use to wear watches as her accessory. oh well. now i dun hv to anymore. 2 is enuff. of course i wldn't mind the cheaper cute ones too still. ;)

Timing - Who decides the very moment the first drop of rain falls in a storm?

I got to leave school early this afternoon. The sky was dark and had been threatening to rain since late morning. Being the Geog teacher, I had been 'analyzing' and trying to guess when rain will fall - predicting it to be in the afternoon, definitely today.

As I was leaving the school, was thinking whether or not to bring the BIG umbrella. By 'calculation', based on the way the clouds look, they'd hold a while more. I was probably gonna reach home JUST before the rain pours or the rain would fall just MIN(s) before I reach home. To bring or not to bring. Decision: Not.

On the bus, still pretty sunny, with the dark clouds looming nonetheless. When I was within 1 km from my place (but still 'circling' around my neighborhood cos of the bus route), it was like... quick quick bussie, anytime will rain. Strangely, the bus keeps hitting the red lights (which I know would 'jeopardize' my hope in reaching my flat dry).

"Trapped" in the bus, I was thinking, WHO really decides on the VERY MINUTE the first drop of rain, then the second, and the third, then the downpour to fall? - Esp in times when we are at the 'critical threhold' where either you just make it dry, or end up very drenched, just affected by those very minutes - traffic lights / passengers alighting/boarding.

So many rains a day in so many places. WHO presses the 'fall' button? The world may boast its technological advances to precision in timing in setting off fireworks during countdowns / celebrations, in sending the murderous H-bomb that kill in 000s, all at the touch of a button. But who can control the very thing that affects our lives daily? Not us, even with our 'fantastic' technology. The world may boast its technological advances in modifying the very element I'm talking about - rain, through seeding. But we can only modifying, subjected to natural limitations such as humidity and pressure. We can't just shift it to any place we want it to fall.

Its just amazing how despite our 'achievements', the simple rain that falls each time can remind us of how great our Creator Abba is. He is the One who decides on each small storm's beginning and end. I'm not even talking about huge storms that have been grabbing headlines lately.

Why am I even blogging about this? No, bong, its not cause I think too much. I thot I was a little cuckoo to read so much into it earlier. But in evening, human fears strike again. I worry about my future. I linger through memories of decisions made, some of which I 'regret' in my human nature but yet have to trust God that that is what pleases Him. Then I realize, I'm not thinking too much. "I hold everything in place. I am in control of every single timing." That's what He's saying.

I pray, that I will trust my faithful Father.

If anyone is still interested if I'm caught in the rain? I was ONE minute behind. So was caught in a moderately heavy rain. But one minute after I stepped into my flat buidling, the moment I stepped out of the lift, it was raining very heavily. Kindof in between ey? ;)

Where will you be in December?

I was so happy that I've found someone to go with me to India!!! YES!!! can you believe it?

But now, our plans might shift. What's the plan? Need to work it out first. But its a hard decision to make. Stay tuned.

Oh yeah, but where will YOU be in December? At least, where do you think you will be? Then I can plot our where my pals will be on the map. :D

nursing

spending my weekend just resting

spent most of yest afternn in bed cos wasn't feeling well. EC managed to get me out for some fresh air. but she said i looked like crap. well, i felt like crap. like 50 year old woman. lol. thnx for being patient when i'm so full of crap yest. lol

today, getting out of house to church was a challenge again. impending flu coming up. but told myself must go to church. den end up? CM sunday. Honestly, when i see the kids, and worse, the parents, they really frighten me!! oops. :P

hopefully tom will feel better. haiz..... la la la la.... i'm bored.... feeling old... lol

bandaged...

since i'm on the topic of footwear, here's my 'injuired' shoe while i was in kunming. (yeah, all my footwear gave way there) and its final resting plce was in a 3-star hotel in Kunming city, together with my faithful sandals. They have served me well.



Oh yeah, and tt's wat is good abt taking first aid course and a first aid pouch w u wherever u go. LOL

Before & After...

First one taken in Ang Snoul, Cambodia, en route to river near the orphanage w kids in June 2004. Second one taken in Xundian, Kunming, China, on the last visit to the Pri school when we bid them farewell, June 2005. Left it behind in China, never to see it thereafter. Dun ask me y i take pics of my sandals (esp the first pic). I dunno. lol

Its been more than a week since i last blogged. where hv i been? wat hv i done? still in singapore (duh) and largely busy with work (reads: setting of examination papers).

since d last entry, most of my time had been spent setting the papers, day and nite, in and out of school. Finally submitted them. Den was busy with meetings. Only til Friday evening was i finally and suddenly free from it all - at least for this weekend.

so friday nite, went to new frens' plce to chill. there was a gathering of 2 swiss, 1 german, 1 'half-malay;half-chinese;half-indonesian;half-singaporean' (or so she claims, but tt totals up to 2 rite? :P), and 7 other singaporeans (pure? how i noe?). it was supposedly a pasta dinner. but turned out to be more a 'suppertime' drinks cum food prepared by our swiss pals and local delights bought by us. A bizarre mix of mooncakes (traditional pastry type, colored skin type, walnut type), alcohol (tequila, vodka, jap rice wine only found in okinawa they claim, cheap thai whisky), pasta (with three types of sauces); otah, choc cake, fried champedak, ... .... .... i almost cldn't make it for this gathering cos was exhausted from week. but was gald i made it. sitting round the table with nice breeze, great food and good company... was great.

saturday was largely... sleep.... mooncake... sleep... toast.... sleep... was catching up on lack of sleep from fri's late rendevous and from the week in general. in total, my waking hours was like abt 9??? lol. so was too stoned to do anything or meet anyone.

so today, not so stoned anymore. but despite the sleep last nite, still sleepy. must be the weather. in fact, i was caught dozing off standing while waiting for AO to pass me something. playing for service wasn't too fantastic cos i was too stoned to b alert (glad i was on piano and not KB). so was sermon time. so is it now. must b the weather. oh. did i oreid type that? lol. i'm going to sleep again now... nites....

btw, eyes recovering fine. eyes still adjusting to fine prints. dry sometimes, but very managable. best part, no need to take out lenses or wash (i hardly do tt anyway :P) after long day out. like can just shower and sink into bed. :D speaking of bed..... ..... .....

goodbye specky... ...

Specs.... they have been with me for close to 2 decades. Started with a pink plastic frame, then a smaller maroon one, den another pink one which in Sec sch they thot it was too 'hip' and wanted me to change new specs during spotcheck?!?! den i moved on into metal frames. black. gold. silver. blue. den it was back to my current 'hip' blue specky u either love or hate.

tis week, i hv ditched specs by undergoing lasik. mon was a breeze. eye just took a longer time to adjust and stabilize. for today for the second eye however, i realized i had taken the first one's blessedness for granted. it was like there waws something gritty stuck in my eye ALL DAY LONG and i ws tearing like no ppl's business. P says tt's cos everyone knew abt my mon procedure and prayed for it but for todays, no one was informed so they din pray. lol. still, thanks mom, dad, mommy, P, KN, SR, AO and all others who prayed for muaz. It was a comfort knowing that i'm covered not only by the love of Daddy but also of you pple.

Anywayz, how was the procedure like? Well, just not something i'd like to go through again. Mon's was smoother than today's. In fact, procedure was delayed today due to some unforeseen backlog. So ended up having to bring my mom out of the center for lunch (with a dilated pupil!! that was crazy!) Just din feel that good during the procedure itself and after tt. Discomfort all the way in the afternn into the evening. Decided to go down for worship prac tonite, just to play flute. Strangely, after i left my place, the eye slowly got better. and its realy pretty decent comfort wise now. God works ey?

anywayz, vision is still blur. will take time to stabilize. and only after this den did i realize that my left eye's degree is almost DOUBLE that of my right eye's. no wonder i get so disoriented when i dun hv my specky. whichever the case... i've ditched my specky for now. For how long? I dunno. Maybe until age catches up.. that ... is another story for another time.

sunrise or sunset?

Imaged uploaded is a sunrise during the reefwalk weeks ago. Rare to catch a nice sunrise. Sunsets usually work better. A gal gave me a card for Teachers' Day asking 'do u see a sunrise or sunset?' I like sunsets more. But i tink i shld see more sunrise? lol

Wats been up:

1. SCALP BURN!!!

2. Teachers' Day was so-so. Sad tt despite all the hard work into my CCA, my efforts were not appreciated.

3. Spent Teachers' Day bringing kids out to log data. Hot hot hot.

4. Kids out for performance at CS today. It was.... sigh... disappointing due to poor acoustics. Gals cant be heard. They were good, but cant be heard and cant hear each other so cldn't play as a group. Now, they feel lousy. SIGH.

5. Lasik is coming up on Mon. Had been specky these few days. Still dun hv mom's support. But i'm going ahead.

6. Currently its really just sigh. The only good news :) is my dear EC can go and take her OWD oredi!!! After one long year gal! So happy for u. Lets hit the water tog. For u, i'll go down the water once more tis yr. :)

simple prayer answered

the sky is still holding! despite how according to 'nature', there was no rain. we completed our data collation. Just over 200 trees recorded. I'm so dying... lol...

My Daddy heard my prayer! Thank You Dad!